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  • Filter the conversation
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Gonna miss y'all. And my saved posts! I've been on forever and that's like a history of my mom-hood! 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 09:13 PM Flag
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+6 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 09:31 PM Flag
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opps wrong post [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.05.20, 09:31 PM Flag
[ - ] How many of us are really here? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 07.05.20, 09:07 PM Flag
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1 (OP) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 09:07 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 09:11 PM Flag
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3 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 09:14 PM Flag
»
me. I came in to copy my 21 pages of saved posts to laugh at later. Sadly I don't think I actually hit watch on some of the best ones. Thank you ladies you have made me laugh and laugh on many occasions. Good luck in life and be safe. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.05.20, 09:16 PM Flag
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I'm +5 at this point? I have 12 pages of saved posts...so sad to see this go. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 09:24 PM Flag
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+me [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.05.20, 09:32 PM Flag
[ - ] if UB archive is searchable, I'd be so happy 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 09:04 PM Flag
»
for reference for others: www.ubarchive.net [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.05.20, 09:06 PM Flag
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ILY [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.05.20, 09:21 PM Flag
[ - ] this is the last dance .... last chance for romance .. tonight. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 07.05.20, 09:02 PM Flag
»
I am feeling v sentimental. I'll be on urbanbaby.net and nycitymoms.com but I feel a huge sense of loss. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.05.20, 09:08 PM Flag
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i plan to move over, but it'll never ever be the same. pour a drink out. haha [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.05.20, 09:30 PM Flag
[ - ] ALEXA- Please fill the Wonton soup container. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 08:10 PM Flag
»
With fiji water! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.05.20, 09:27 PM Flag
[ - ] Best way to make. "Burner email" that isn't gmail? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 07.05.20, 08:04 PM Flag
»
Yahoo? I think even aol,might still be around [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.05.20, 08:23 PM Flag
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protonmail.com [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 08:52 PM Flag
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aol.com [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.05.20, 09:16 PM Flag
[ - ] Just checked out ubarchive.net. Thanks for setting that up. Until we know where everyone is moving to — good to have a home base. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 07.05.20, 08:00 PM Flag
»
yes thank you so much whoever created this. I'm so sad that tomorrow morning I won't be able to login to UB as part of my am routine. End of an era. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 09:07 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.05.20, 09:17 PM Flag
[ - ] I am howling at the Wonton Container repost. I will miss this place so much! The comments are hysterical. I can’t get this anywhere else. WAAAAH! 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 07.05.20, 07:25 PM Flag
»
I tried to find one where OP asked what was that pink, rubber eraser-like thing on the belly of her cat. She refused to believe it's his penis. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 07:28 PM Flag
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There was one who talked about smelling herself. It was out of context but still I remember crying laughing so hard. Ring a bell to anyone? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 09:18 PM Flag
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No. Bit I remember the woman who showered once a week and used a lot of perfume. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 09:20 PM Flag
[ - ] Yikes. Signed up for nyccitymoms and it seems as though my email is visible! Will that site not be anonymous? I don't want my email or name out there! I changed my profile to Private but then it says I won't be able to follow or comment. Was I supposed to make up a fake email address and how do I delete my account now? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 06:55 PM Flag
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I thought everyone used a fake email for UB. I certainly do. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.05.20, 07:23 PM Flag
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But no one can see your email address on here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 07:29 PM Flag
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No one can see your email on the nycitymoms either. You can view your own profile but others can't. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.05.20, 07:56 PM Flag
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But there is no user Id associated with posts. A cite that shows what user posted what is a very different type of forum, more like reddit, it’s not truly anonymous as all your posts are associated with a persona even if it is a fake name and email. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.05.20, 07:33 PM Flag
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OR. ITA, I see what you mean. It's work in progress, maybe that can be changed. I like the anonymity here too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 07:39 PM Flag
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I'm the one that created nycitymoms. You'll always need an email to join but you can make your username anonymous by just changing your username on the profile. Most people are changing it to anonymous but you can change it to whatever you want. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.05.20, 07:49 PM Flag
»
I signed up and changed my username to something else. Its totally fine. You just need some email, doesn't have to be your primary email, there is no validation/activation link sent. You sign up, change your username and you are good to go. Hope to continue chatting with UB on nycitymoms :) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.05.20, 07:53 PM Flag
[ - ] the new sites will be nice but part of the charm of UB was this old ugly layout! 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 07.05.20, 06:41 PM Flag
»
try out nycitymoms.com [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 07:16 PM Flag
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wow that site is horrible [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.05.20, 07:48 PM Flag
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Seriously? Np. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 09:12 PM Flag
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Dude it's an UWS mom who found us a place as soon as she realized this was shutting down. I don't care how rudimentary it is right now. NP [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 09:17 PM Flag
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I am not a fan of that one and stopped being a fan of UB once it got slow [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 07:36 PM Flag
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I prefer youbemom because it’s fast moving and anonymous. It’s like.a chat room. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 07:37 PM Flag
[ - ] For all those kids missing summer camp, show them articles about the Covid cases in Georgia and Colorado camps. Let them know their camp directors truly care about their safety. The camps that are opening on the other hand....not so risk adverse. Finger crossed for kids and counselors attending. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 07.05.20, 06:37 PM Flag
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Omg you sound hysterical [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.05.20, 06:53 PM Flag
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Sleepaway camp with counselors outbreak = hysterical? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 06:57 PM Flag
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Uh yeah. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 07:12 PM Flag
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My dd is going to sleep away camp on Saturday. Fingers crossed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 09:30 PM Flag
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We’re you the posted who posted EVERY SINGLE DAY that no sleep always camps would be opening? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.05.20, 08:25 PM Flag
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Were [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 08:25 PM Flag
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https://www.cnn.com/2020/07/05/us/georgia-ymca-camp-coronavirus/index.html [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.05.20, 09:09 PM Flag
[ - ] So long, everyone! Thank you for everything! 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 07.05.20, 06:29 PM Flag
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:( [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 09:09 PM Flag
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crying +1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 09:18 PM Flag
[ - ] What do you use to clean up your Mac? My kids or are downloaded something and now can't get rid of Search Barron. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 07.05.20, 06:12 PM Flag
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^^my kids or I [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 06:12 PM Flag
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There was an NYT piece on this recently [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 06:54 PM Flag
[ - ] So it looks like there will be two new websites: urbanbaby.net and nycitymoms.com. Which one are people heading to? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 07.05.20, 05:55 PM Flag
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I am going to check both regularly and go to whichever has more traffic. Not a fan of ybm (replies too short and not well thought out) or dcum (format takes too long and doesn’t encourage interaction). Really hoping UB.net looks like this UB [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 06:05 PM Flag
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Yeah, I may do both for awhile also and see which one I like better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 06:11 PM Flag
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nycitymoms. up and running, ready to go, nice easy design... I'm there. join me! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 06:09 PM Flag
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+1. I just logged on to say, let's all go and there and make it work. This site, even with all the negativity quite often, has been a great resource. We need it more than ever, stuck at home for another year of schooling and working. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 06:11 PM Flag
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I will now, that's great! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 06:39 PM Flag
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It requires to display user I’d. And it looks slow. I like fast chat room stuff like youbemom but it’s not for sensitive types [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 07:39 PM Flag
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just change your user name in "profile" to anonymous [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 08:52 PM Flag
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what about the mom who was doing all the work to get urbanbaby.net off the ground?!? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 08:33 PM Flag
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I have been on youbemom, so will stay there [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 07.05.20, 07:40 PM Flag
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  • Filter the conversation
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] I wish I had a sister wife. I could use a schedule of nights off. Love being married but just wish it weren't a full-time gig. Anyone else? 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.09.19, 12:44 AM Flag
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No, I didn't marry a burden. Make better choices next time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:45 AM Flag
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You sound nice [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:46 AM Flag
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And smart. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:47 AM Flag
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It's not him, it's me. I'm just not the type to want constant company. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:46 AM Flag
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Then take a night off. What's the problem? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:47 AM Flag
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I didn't marry a burden either, people and circumstances change. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:48 AM Flag
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Did you marry a man who "allows" you to have a night off? Is your marriage so shitty that you view it as a "job"? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 12:50 AM Flag
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From the OP's replies sounds like she's the one not "allowing" herself a night off? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:54 AM Flag
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Also what is a night off? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:54 AM Flag
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OP: Other than this one, I only posted one reply (the one that starts "It's not him.") [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:09 AM Flag
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Yes there are moments in my marriage - and any other relationship - that resemble a job and could be described as shitty - such is real life. It's not 24/7/365 honeymoon moments! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:55 AM Flag
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So take a night off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:01 AM Flag
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you're mean [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:55 AM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:16 AM Flag
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Truth hurts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:29 AM Flag
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Doesn't have to. Learn tact. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:30 AM Flag
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Read my mind? Wondering if living separately helps? When we are apart (work, relative) we seem to do much better than under one roof, buried in domestic drudgery. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:46 AM Flag
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Be that weird married couple and live in seperate apartments. Move into another room. That’s what I am planning on doing slowly but surely [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:56 AM Flag
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Hey I replied with that same thought ;) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:07 AM Flag
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definitely wish I could be part time [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 09:32 AM Flag
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Make a deal with DH. He gets sister wives, you get "assistant husbands". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:05 PM Flag
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Makes you understand eunichs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:05 PM Flag
[ - ] We won a family portrait in a charity auction. You go, pose for the photo, and then they paint it. We got dressed up, and it seems like there's a good chance it will turn out nice. My husband feels that it's tacky to display pictures of yourself in your home. So, he doesn't want it to hang in our family room. Thoughts? 71 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:24 AM Flag
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He's right. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:28 AM Flag
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"Right" is moot. People have to live together and compromise. If he doesn't like it, hang it in a room he doesn't use much, or give it to OP's parents to hang in their home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 10:46 AM Flag
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He's right, partially. You aren't supposed to display family photos in the public areas of the home. If you had a dinner party, would guests enter the family room? Or is it truly just for the family? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:28 AM Flag
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It’s an open floor plan. What am I supposed to do with this thing? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:31 AM Flag
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Hang it in one of your bedrooms or in a hallway leading to the bedrooms. Or if you have a home office (not for clients; just for family use), hang it there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 10:41 AM Flag
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No, there’s no rule about public areas in your home. Good grief. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:31 AM Flag
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Dear Miss Manners: My very proper mother taught us that one does not display pictures of oneself in one’s own home. I have always followed this rule and notice that all my relatives do as well, but I cannot find the rule written anywhere. Over my long life, friends have occasionally given me pictures of myself, some in frames. I have never displayed them, but I worry that I have hurt my friends’ feelings. Is my mother’s rule real and current? I actually like the rule, but want to do the right thing by my friends. Gentle Reader: The rule is still in effect, but your mother forgot to point out the loopholes. There are enough of those to accommodate your gallery. One is that you can properly display them in rooms that are considered somewhat private—your bedroom, your study, and, by extension, a family room. Another, on which Miss Manners expects to be challenged, is that a painted portrait is traditionally considered acceptable in the more public rooms, but photographs are not. She does not wish to argue against photography as an art, but let us say that photographs of you with the mayor or in your wedding clothes are best shown in the family’s area. Proper mothers are always right; but sometimes they need explaining. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:33 AM Flag
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Yes, Ms. Manners would find my apartment a horror show regardless of photos. So I take it with a grain of salt. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:34 AM Flag
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Personally I dream of having a home spacious enough to have "private" areas. My guests must by necessity go everywhere and witness everything! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:37 AM Flag
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I don’t have a work space so my apartment is my work space. If people are critical, so what. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:39 AM Flag
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I can't imagine anyone in today's world, of constant camera use and fully blended private and public spaces, criticizing anyone over photo displays. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 10:42 AM Flag
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I agree with Miss Manners. I had a roommate in grad school who had pictures of herself posing as if she was a model on her desk. She looked nothing like a model and the whole ensemble seemed rather sad and deluded. I find the posed glam wedding and pregnancy portrait industry yields similar reactions - i.e. who does this person think she is? why isn't she happy with images of how she is in real life? why is she mimicking advertisements trying to sell fragrances? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 03:17 AM Flag
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Except that for most people in 2019, there are no public areas of the home. Very few people have areas of their home where they might host a large dinner party with people other than their close family and friends. So the "rule" does not apply. If you are wealthy enough to have a large enough home, and guests who are not part of your "family circle", you keep your personal photos in private family areas and your formal portraits in public areas. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 10:40 AM Flag
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Seriously? You don't ever invite over non-relatives? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 07:10 PM Flag
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We rarely have people in our home who aren't relatives or close friends who are essentially the same as a "family circle". We wouldn't have a dinner or party with people we don't know well enough to sit in our family room with us, and most people today live the same way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 09:33 PM Flag
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Many years ago in my single days (1990), I won a family portrait in a charity auction. I had a portrait done of my parrot and me. ;) It is proudly hung in my family room. The bird doesn't look a day older than the parrot in the portrait, but I do. I say go for it! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:28 AM Flag
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Are you the poster that has had the parrot since childhood? He/she(?) sounds like a great pet, and I love that you have a family portrait of the two of you :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:30 AM Flag
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Yep, that's me! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:32 AM Flag
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ILY [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 03:33 AM Flag
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Can we be best friends? I love this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:10 AM Flag
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I personally wouldn’t want to either, but that’s just me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:28 AM Flag
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I agree with him a little bit in that I wouldn't put a family portrait front and center in my own house, but off in a side room (den, office, your bedroom) doesn't seen so weird. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:30 AM Flag
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Can you hang it in a bedroom or hallway? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:30 AM Flag
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We could hang it in our bedroom, but that feels weird. I don’t want to go to sleep looking at myself all the time [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:32 AM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:36 AM Flag
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or DCs while trying to have sex [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:15 AM Flag
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ha [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:26 AM Flag
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I think this is just as embarrassing as when secretaries get their handbags monogrammed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:31 AM Flag
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I'm curious as to who notices when someone else gets a handbag monogrammed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:35 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:37 AM Flag
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Or who somehow thinks that monogramming is somehow above someone's station. A Chinese sweatshop could do a monogram in a few minutes. Fancy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:38 AM Flag
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You proved my point. It's cheap and stupid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:42 AM Flag
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If it weren't noticeable people wouldn't do it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:40 AM Flag
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Huh? That is some weird-ass circular thinking. Yes, everything visually identifiable is done specifically to get your approval. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:53 AM Flag
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Nothing is done for my approval. But everyone notices changes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:02 AM Flag
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I think you are quite wrong about that last part. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:07 AM Flag
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Yes. Quite. lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:13 AM Flag
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"You wouldn't worry so much about what other people think about you, if you realized how rarely they do." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 10:43 AM Flag
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Is that more embarrassing than when executives get their handbags monogrammed? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:43 AM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:46 AM Flag
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Why? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:10 AM Flag
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Because secretaries are secretaries and executives are executives. Now run off to an HYP TT BS post and pretend to be egalitarian. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:15 AM Flag
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Actually I was a secretary for 20 years but I'm a total elitist snob. Not sure how that happened. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:17 AM Flag
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wtf? So stupid. Everyone has initials, everyone can monogram. 1950s called, they want you back because your views are OUTDATED and OLD. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:11 AM Flag
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I have one monogrammed handbag. I bought it at a school fundraising tag sale because it had my initials on it. Didn't even need it really. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:12 AM Flag
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Lol. Okay, Judgemental Shrew. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:12 AM Flag
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I think hang a beautiful photo of your family anywhere in your home that makes you happy. And any visiting friends would be pleased to see it. Come on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:33 AM Flag
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This [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:37 AM Flag
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Totally this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:55 AM Flag
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Yes! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:20 AM Flag
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I think old school etiquette (or decorating) says family pictures aren't supposed to be displayed in public areas. I'm not sure about paintings, however--the most old money, old school family I knew growing up had a painting of the matriarch of the family hanging over the fireplace in the living room. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:33 AM Flag
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Do what makes you happy. Geez [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:35 AM Flag
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He's half right. It's tacky to display contemporaneously painted portraits of your family for the first decade. After everyone grows 10 years older, it becomes nostalgia. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:35 AM Flag
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I know this because my beautiful mother married a much wealthier man who had her portrait painted standing in an evening gown with her favorite cat. The fucking thing is 6 feet tall including frame and it's a joke. The artist was bad. And thousands of dollars went into this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:36 AM Flag
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This sounds comical, URL? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:44 AM Flag
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Have you posted about this before? Something about painted family portraits? Like there was a family who had a bunch of them? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:58 AM Flag
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How tacky. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:55 AM Flag
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It depends of what you mean by public areas of the home. The entryway, formal dining room and formal living room, sure. Elsewhere, it’s fine. We were just at dinner this weekend in Boston area at the house of good friends who are very much old money wasps (you would know the family name) and they have family photos in kitchen, casual dining area off kitchen, den where everyone actually hangs out in, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:41 AM Flag
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I think you should do things that make you happy . I love going into a home with family photos and pictures It's warm and cheerful [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:29 AM Flag
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What about artwork created by a member of the family? Can those go in public areas of the home? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:02 AM Flag
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If it's at least 3ft squared, hang it with pride, in the bathroom, and let your guests wonder about you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:05 AM Flag
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How did it turn out? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:16 AM Flag
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(Maybe gift it to parents? inlaws?) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:16 AM Flag
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Honestly, ”paintings” done from photographs are ”tacky” so it doesn't matter where you put it. Enjoy it for the experience and not for other people judging you. When you can afford it, have your portrait painted and if you don't know how to tell a good portrait painter don't be afraid to ask a friend for advice and consider having one done while you're on vacation- portraiture in England is really much better and they can ship it to you a few months later after it dries [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 03:56 AM Flag
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Almost all portrait painters also take photos to help them paint [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 05:30 AM Flag
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They might take a reference photo but it doesn't sound like she sat for q painting at all [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:03 PM Flag
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Well that's weird :( [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 03:17 PM Flag
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Was this through Kramer portraits? I won the same thing at a school auction, and had a miserable experience with them. Lots of high pressure selling, high cost for framing and shipping. An 8x10 "painting" of DC set me back $400. And there was not an iota of paint on this - but they did darken DCs hair and skin, and it looks nothing like my DC. I realize that this doesn't answer your question, but if it's the same vendor, please proceed with caution. But to answer your question, no, not tacky at all if it's a nice picture. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:03 PM Flag
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Oh FFS. Hang it wherever you life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 03:21 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 06:53 PM Flag
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It's a display of vanity and pride. Unless it is a Sargent, your guests will snicker and roll their eyes about your public self-aggrandizement when you aren't around. In a private room, that is more forgiveable as it is not for the non-admiring public. Regardless of where you put it, it's very kitsch and will be more appreciated by your children and their spouses as it would be kind of a sentimental joke of the bygone years. My in-laws had their teenage sons painted and you can guess how excited the steeped-in-irony meta humor grandkids are for the ridiculous portraits. Especially because both sons were divorced by their wives cuz they turned out to be losers waiting for their inheritances. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 03:09 AM Flag
[ - ] Moms who cook, potluck question: I am a good cook, but now I've been asked to cook a dish for ds potluck rehearsal dinner (he will be in the school play - high school) not sure what to make - I'm Italian and make a very good lasagna, as well as many other pasta dishes. But perhaps I should think of something that is still good to eat an hour after being cooked? Any suggestions? Thank you 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:21 AM Flag
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If you make a tasty lasagna, make that. Everyone will be happy to have it. My mother in law makes great lasagna (she is from Italy). And if we go there and doesn’t make lasagna, I’m secretly always a little sad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:27 AM Flag
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(I should clarify this my explaining that they make many wonderful dishes there, as many as 16 courses. But usually number three is lasagna.). If not, it is a different pasta dish. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:28 AM Flag
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Make lasagna! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:12 AM Flag
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Am would do baked ziti with no meat [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:28 AM Flag
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This [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:46 AM Flag
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I cannot stomach baked ziti (am also Italian, and I guess it's not from my home region because (thankfully) I have only run into it in the NYC metro area. The pasta is overcooked, I don't understand what there is to like about it except that it is easy for the cook and a cheap dish. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:33 PM Flag
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Lasagne always a crowd pleaser and if you brought it warm/covered it would be fine. If play is a musical some kids might be staying away from dairy, but I'm sure there will be other options for them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:29 AM Flag
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What kind of freak drama group do you know? No dairy, ha! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:35 AM Flag
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NP old school baby! I used to live by that rule too!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:51 AM Flag
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dairy increases mucus, can impact singing voice, this is a widely known thing and performers will limit or eliminate around time of performances. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:53 AM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:56 AM Flag
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thirding [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 05:31 AM Flag
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Fourthing? Came here to say this. Former drama nerd here. Dairy is bad for the instrument duhhhhh (eyeroll) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 03:45 PM Flag
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I vote for lasagne. Can I have some? :-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:31 AM Flag
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op - thanks everyone! I wish I still lived in NYC... would make a lasagna for all of you ;) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:49 AM Flag
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baked ziti--easier to make and easier to serve. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:30 AM Flag
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Big pan of baked ziti. Always welcome, easy to make and can be eaten at room temp. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 03:56 AM Flag
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Something with protein, like a meatloaf [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:34 PM Flag
[ - ] can I use more than one coupon at Bed Bath on line? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:18 AM Flag
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no [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:19 AM Flag
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Try it, if it zeroes you out then you know they don't want you to do that [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:19 AM Flag
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If they're 20% off one item, yes, but on line they won't work past the expiration date. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:20 AM Flag
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Try it, if it doesn't work you can always verbally abuse some underpaid customer service rep and demand to speak to a supervisor. Then your coupons will work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:25 AM Flag
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op- Lol! I did that (was actually polite though) at Neiman Marcus on phone) after trying to use a gift card for $150 I had received a couple of months ago during a promotion, and then at checkout, when entering the number, I realized it had expired only 4 days earlier... I thought they would honor it, but the supervisor was not at all nice. I asked if at least I could get a minor courtesy discount and she said no. I am so bummed... $150 is a good amount and I lost it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:29 AM Flag
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People like to flip when their GCs expire. I wonder if they would eat sushi that was sitting in the fridge for a week. It's only a few days! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:37 AM Flag
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It's illegal in Canada. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:47 AM Flag
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Damn, can't believe sushi is illegal in Canada. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:51 AM Flag
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Expiring gift cards is illegal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:30 AM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:31 AM Flag
[ - ] Fashion moms: So, what are the trends for the new season? Apart from high wasted, wide leg denim and more oversize blazers? Trying to buy just a couple of good pieces that I could get a lot of use out of... not sure what is best though. Every article I read says something different. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:00 AM Flag
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square toed fugly shoes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:36 AM Flag
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op- yes I noticed the square toe shoes... honestly not a fan so not a trend I'd follow [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:50 AM Flag
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I think this is more of a warm weather thing, but I see a lot of wide-legged rompers around. It looks comfy, but not sure if it would make me look frumpy? (I’m 5’, 102#). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:54 AM Flag
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^^Like this: https://athleta.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=416636&ak_t=E85C9D90B7B9F17ACF8A1A7C03A0243C172401542441000046A2755DF7490B3C#pdp-page-content [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:54 AM Flag
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I don't understand rompers - how do you go to the bathroom??? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:11 AM Flag
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The same way you do in a jumpsuit. Obviously, it takes longer if it has sleeves. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 06:30 PM Flag
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Not sure about the legs, but somebody your height could look very cute in a skinnier romper. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 06:38 PM Flag
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more polished items, such as plaid double breasted blazers, tall boots with high heel, blouses with neck ties, maybe culottes in a heavier material. Think late 70s French movie star. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 06:28 PM Flag
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More leopard prints than ever before. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 07:31 PM Flag
[ - ] any ortho moms or PT... I am really frustrated and not sure about next steps: About a year ago I started to get some neck pain on the left side, felt like a muscle ache - sometimes would radiate to the trapeze muscle (not sure I explain this well) after 3 months I went to an orthopedist who specializes in neck pain and they did ex rays, luckily said there is nothing really wrong w neck (I am 51 and as normal wear and tear he said just some mild osteoarthritis ) recommended some PT as he thought it was muscular - I told him that on a bad day the pain (never severe) would be felt on the left, all the way to my head. After a month of PT and not much improvement, someone recommended MAT (muscle activation therapy) it was expensive, I didi 9 sessions and honestly it made things better. Since massage was also recommended I did a few, then switched massage therapist for my last massage, almost 3 weeks ago and I thought she was a bit too firm... After 3 or 4 days I started to get pain on my left back side, near the shoulder... it has been there pretty much every day now (over 9 days) What do I do? Do you think the massage therapist has done some damage? I really hope its nothing serious. I did not want to go back to a doctor and not sure if I should just try more PT. It's frustrating and I hope to get rid of this soon. Thanks for reading a long post and apologies. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:55 PM Flag
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Tldr [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:19 AM Flag
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Why haven’t you gotten an MRI? Do that. Turned out I had 2 herniated discs on my cervical spine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:36 AM Flag
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OP- now I'm really scared... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:27 AM Flag
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I had similar pain but I went immediately to a chiropractor. Turned out I had 2 slipped discs, a cervical reversal and 18 torqued vertebra. Most wanted to do surgery but I finally found one that didn't. I saw him way more than your 9 times (so maybe return to that?). I have exercises I do at home. I avoid activities that cause that pain (stress, computer, desk, sitting, texting, driving, high heels, looking up like in volleyball or to someone taller than me). I was seeing a chiro monthly and a RMT monthly but last year I had a third slipped disc and now I'm nervous about seeing either (like a massage / chiro adjustment can hurt). I also have degenerative arthritis. Keeping active 3+ hours a day, swimming in warm water, sleeping on my back, proper posture, all help. HTH P.S. I'm 38. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:35 AM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone know what the price of ramapo day camp is for 6 year old? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:47 PM Flag
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Don’t know but guessing $10k range [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:02 AM Flag
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This is generally right, maybe it’s a bit more for 8 weeks, but it’s between 9-11k (mine go to Ramaquois, I think Ramapo is slightly fancier, but they are similar). And doing fewer weeks won’t save you much - 4 weeks is probably 7-8k. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:22 AM Flag
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It doesn't say on their website? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:18 AM Flag
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it depends on how many weeks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:20 AM Flag
[ - ] Trendy moms: I have a golden goose sneakers question: Apart from the fact that they are truly nice looking sneakers and different from the typical ones out there, what justifies such a hefty price? I know they are made in Italy and usually all leather... honestly I was close to buying a pair on line, but cannot spend that kind of money on a sneaker (even though lately I wear them all the time). Are they extremely comfortable too? 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:43 PM Flag
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NP: Following. I can't justify the hefty price tag. But I'm interviewing for a job to supplement my income and if I get it, I'm going to buy a pair as a reward. I like the look of (some of) them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:46 PM Flag
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So, I bought into them-- and the hype, after seeing every mom here in NYC wear them. Truthfully, they're not super comfortable; the inset is totally flat with zero arch support. I've had mine for 12 months now, wear them two or three times a week, and the soles are worn down to the point of almost having holes and the sides are peeling away. Probably won't be buying another pair of GG anytime soon. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:49 PM Flag
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Edit to add that I didn't wear them Nov.-- March. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:50 PM Flag
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sounds pretty bad. I need arch support and when I've put good arch supports insets into sneakers, they don't fit correctly. I would rather just buy a sneaker that looks good and fits me properly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:52 PM Flag
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NP ty! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:23 AM Flag
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What about a nice pair of vejas [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:52 PM Flag
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My Vejas are the most uncomfortable shoe ever. So disappointing because I think they look great. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 03:26 AM Flag
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I walk too much to justify a shoe just because it’s trendy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:54 PM Flag
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op- thanks for the feedback. I have also seen a few cute pairs on line (the low tops) but was wondering about quality. Last year a bought a pair that looks just like GG, the brand is called Quattro Barra 12 (Italian too) they are handmade in Italy, all leather, but I paid about $100 - they are very cute and were quite comfortable, but after 8 months of wearing started to peel at the sides and the sole is also all worn out... So I guess no reason to ever spend $300 more on golden goose. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:58 PM Flag
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You honestly think they are nice looking sneakers? I guess we have different tastes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:12 AM Flag
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op- are you referring to the gg or the ones I mentioned above? Have you looked at some of the styles? I do think they are cute. That said, I am also a size 10 shoes and most sneakers make my feet look even bigger... I so envy those models/celebrities that wear them w everything and still look gorgeous. I wish I had size 7 or 8 feet (I'm 5'5") [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:17 AM Flag
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can you send a link. Maybe I'm looking at the wrong sneaker. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:18 AM Flag
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www.lyst.com/shop/quattrobarradodici-shoes/ here, some of them look cute, and a lot like the golden goose ones [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:26 AM Flag
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you're right, these are cute. I was looking at something else. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:35 AM Flag
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yep and price is not bad either, considering they seem good quality. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:50 AM Flag
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They are super ugly! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:26 AM Flag
[ - ] How much of a play area does your kid's kindergarten room have? Are there still imaginary play things like toy kitchens, dolls etc or was that all left behind in pre K? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:23 PM Flag
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Sounds like a prek class [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:27 PM Flag
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yes, yes. Not left behind. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:32 PM Flag
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Kindergarten teacher here. Yes, lots of play in my classroom. No dress up because we have a terrible lice issue that my school won't address. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:06 AM Flag
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My daughter's k has blocks and crayons and legos--but not so much else as far as imaginary play. I wonder if they are going to roll different things out? I don't want to ask the teacher because I don't want to come across as critical at school start but I'm worried! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:36 AM Flag
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np--Imaginary play implies no props. Don't worry about it. Kids don't need toy kitchens. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 07:17 AM Flag
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I agree. But I wonder if the day is too structured to allow for any imagination. She is very into dress up at home, maybe that;'s enough balance [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 03:08 PM Flag
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No it doesn't. You aren't an early childhood teacher, are you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.20.19, 02:09 AM Flag
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Ours has a kitchen area [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:42 AM Flag
[ - ] 11yo (12 in oct) has hair under one armpit. does this mean her period is coming soon? hope not. she's only 4'7" 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:23 PM Flag
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What does her height have to do with it? Every body is different. Shave the pit and go on with life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:46 PM Flag
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Girls stop growing within 1 -2 years of getting their period. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:41 PM Flag
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period is usually 2 years after the first signs - hair, breast buds, smelling bad. so add 2 years to whenever that was. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:53 PM Flag
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Nope. Many years away. She only has that marker. I'd say age 14-15. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:31 AM Flag
[ - ] What’s Diet Coke withdrawal like? Asking for a friend. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:13 PM Flag
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probably more mental than physical [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:16 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:17 PM Flag
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hard, but you might loose 2lbs of puff. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:20 PM Flag
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hard, but you might loose 2lbs of puff. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:20 PM Flag
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What variety and how much? Caffeine withdrawal can be nasty. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:44 PM Flag
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It's the caffeine withdrawal. Try mixing caffeine free & regular diet coke until it's all caffeine free. Ultimately water is best but it's an easy way to transition. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:53 PM Flag
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Np- I’ve tried to give it up several times. I just can’t break the habit. I get terrible headaches when I try to quit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:40 AM Flag
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You can't go cold turkey or you will get terrible headaches. Have one less every day and it will be fine [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:22 AM Flag
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I’ve tried so many ways. I quit for my first pregnancy but picked it up immediately afterwards. Right now I am at two mini cans a day (14 ounces total) which is about a can. I don’t like the taste of any other soda except Diet Coke but when I am jonesing anything will do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:04 AM Flag
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You will feel sleepy In the late afternoon for about 10 days. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:21 AM Flag
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Well I had a diet pepsi situation, lol. I gradually stopped drinking them and stopped. Now I can't stomach the stuff. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:32 AM Flag
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me too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:58 AM Flag
[ - ] Moms or friends of Carolines: How often is the name mispronounced. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:54 PM Flag
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Im trying to think of how it COULD be mispronounced if one was trying? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:55 PM Flag
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Caro-lin (Carolyn) instead of Caro-line [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:58 PM Flag
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I have a DF Carolyn. We could not help ourselves from pointing to her when Sweet Caroline came on. On persnickety friend always went into a huff. Carolyn did not mind. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:58 PM Flag
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I’m a Caroline. I get Carolyn every once in a while. No big deal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:59 PM Flag
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One of her grandmothers gets it wrong 2/3 of the time. Everyone else, fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:01 PM Flag
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My MIL always gets my dad's name wrong. It's been 30 years and she still can't pronounce it, it's like a foreign word she refuses to understand. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:55 PM Flag
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Doesn't everyone's name get mispronounced once in a while? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 11.13.19, 08:38 PM Flag
[ - ] Dd showed me a 1 page essay that she wrote and I told her it was mediocre and she should start over. I feel bad that I said that to her but it’s the truth. when I told her it was just fine, she was making excuses. Thoughts on how I handled? I want to set good study habits and don’t want to ruin her self esteem and also don’t want to get into a screaming match with her every day during the week. Tia. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:37 PM Flag
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Just be honest with her. She's not as smart as the other kids so she needs to work harder. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:38 PM Flag
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Op: not sure that’s it....but she certainly doesn’t try her hardest and it shows. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:39 PM Flag
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I probably would have dissected it a little more. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:40 PM Flag
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+1, help her understand how to write a better essay [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:43 PM Flag
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You told her it was just fine, and also that it was mediocre and she should start over. Mixed messages. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:42 PM Flag
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How did your parents handle looking over your essays? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:44 PM Flag
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I don't think telling her it was "mediocre" is ideal. Did you also mention specific points that she might have improved on? I'm not saying you should do your child's homework, but you already involved yourself with less than constructive criticism [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:44 PM Flag
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Are you Amy Chua? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:48 PM Flag
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What grade? Is she in the type of school where a teacher will provide constructive feedback? At some point, she just needs to own the work she does, and the grades that come with it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:03 PM Flag
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How old is she? Saying something is mediocre is not helpful feedback. If you can't articulate what the problem is or give constructive feedback then you should find someone else to help her with her writing and keep your mouth shut. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:17 PM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 03:59 AM Flag
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+2. In my first job out of law school, one of the partners would scream that your motion or brief or whatever was s***. You would ask what was wrong with it, and in a mock-sensitive voice he would say "it's garbage. It's an abortion. ..." Ah, memories! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:46 PM Flag
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Well that wasn't too helpful. Did you break down where she needed to improve? Just saying something is mediocre isn't helpful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:32 AM Flag
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How old is DD? that would influence my answer. If young, let it go. I've tempted to take a red pen and mark up DD's writing, but you know, she's 8, so the writing's not perfect. I realized that I had unrealistic standards of what 8 year old writing could be. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:11 AM Flag
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That's not constructive criticism; I don't know how old she is, but I would be annoyed too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:16 PM Flag
[ - ] not religious at all, but looking at hannah senesh in brooklyn. it's small, the people seem really nice and we can afford it. anyone sent their kids to catholic or jewish day schools without actually being religious? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:35 PM Flag
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Yes, of course. All our kids went to Catholic schools just because they're the best in the area we live in. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:39 PM Flag
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We're atheists, but we told them we're Catholic. Who cares? There's no test. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:40 PM Flag
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np: Well, you can believe whatever you want but you can't just "tell them you're Catholic" at a parochial school, if you claim to be Catholic you're expected to attend Mass and kids prepare for First Communion, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:34 AM Flag
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Our family is Jewish although we are not religious. DD goes to a Catholic school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:41 PM Flag
[ - ] My DH was married before we met; he had an affair while with his first wife and left for the OW, it didn't last. It's been ten years and we've been together for 7. I've never met the OW or really thought about her-- until she and her family moved into our neighborhood. I adamantly avoid NBPC because she lives there but she's turning into my ghost: when curiosity gets the best of me, I'll google her or look at her family's IG page. Haven't brought this up to DH yet because quite honestly I'm wondering if he still has feelings for her. WWYD? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:29 PM Flag
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I'm sure he'll always have some sort of feelings for her- negative and positive, but something went wrong because it obviously didn't last. I've come to the conclusion that if someone is going to cheat, they're going to cheat. But try to stop focusing on her, live your life. It is annoying that she moved into your neighborhood, agreed. Did DH tell you this? I would simply ask him how he feels about this...? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:35 PM Flag
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We ended up in the same crowded room about two years ago and he spotted her and her family. He hasn't brought her up since but I know he and his sister have also checked out her IG and have seen her around. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:48 PM Flag
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I never would have married a man who cheated on his wife. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:37 PM Flag
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When we met, he just mentioned he was divorced and after months of dating, told me the whole story-- a few weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:49 PM Flag
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Sounds wonderful. lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:50 PM Flag
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You sound insecure in your marriage. I would do my best to not look at this woman’s IG. Let it go and don’t think about it. Gl. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:39 PM Flag
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Of course she's insecure. Her husband is a cheater. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:40 PM Flag
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If I'm honest, yes, I'm insecure: DH and I married partly because I was pregnant and I didn't have many substantial relationships before that. The OW is 15 years younger than DH and now has 4 kids and thriving. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:47 PM Flag
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good luck [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:50 PM Flag
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Np. So you have nothing to worry about. She has her own successful life and family. She won't want your DH. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:21 PM Flag
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And they only married because she was pregnant? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:30 PM Flag
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It's me, the OP, that was pregnant and then we got married. We've said that we loved each other and I'd like to think we'd be married anyway, but that's our story. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:36 PM Flag
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Don't let her haunt you. He's been with her before. If he hasn't learned his lesson about why she's not good for him, you're not going to be able to do anything to prevent it. Likely they both just want to get on with their lives. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:41 PM Flag
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I would be this out into the open in discussion with DH. Have you talked about it? I mean there are a million towns in this world and it isn't an accident she moved there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:06 PM Flag
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We live in BPC so it's not so crazy to think that a family would move here, plus her DH works with several large companies in the area-- so I get it; it's not like she moved right next door. We've had very shallow convos about it like, 'I think I saw her/that location in her pic looks really familiar' but nothing beyond that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:32 PM Flag
[ - ] I just bought a ticket for DC and me to attend a kids’ event ($50 each). I want to invite some of his friends and their parents to attend also as I think it would be fun, but am not offering to pay. How do I word it? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:10 PM Flag
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Say, "we're going to this thing. Would you like to come too? It looks fun. It's $50." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:12 PM Flag
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Hey just purchase tickets to x event. Here is website it would like to join. I think would be fun if we had a big group [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:14 PM Flag
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That will really confuse them. Copy OR's literate post. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:19 PM Flag
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Hey Jim and Cindy! I'm taking Donna to see the blabity bla on Saturday. Though of you guys and wanted to let you know in case you wanted to bring Brenda and Brandon. We'll be having lunch at the Peach Pit before hand and plan to get there at noon if you want to meet up. - Felice Martin [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:18 PM Flag
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<3 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:57 PM Flag
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posts like this let me know my generation is on this board! TY [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:20 PM Flag
[ - ] I just made hummus with a can of chick peas that expired in 2017. If tomorrow’s paper mentions a Park Slope family who died of a mysterious cause, somebody tell the police to check the fridge. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:50 PM Flag
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Ily [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:50 PM Flag
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Ily [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:50 PM Flag
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anyone remember when one of us was going to meet a tinder date and we were all talking her through it? I was sure that's how we would all meet, on dateline, talking about the timeline of the events leading up to her mysterious disappearance. Being interviewed as a panel about our knowledge of the expired chick peas will be so anti-climatic. That said, I'll bring Fiji water for all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:53 PM Flag
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I'll bring the lasagna. We all know that when tragedy strikes, lasagna is always the right answer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:04 PM Flag
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Lasagna is always the answer! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:05 PM Flag
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This reply fits in perfectly on so many posts tonight. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:38 AM Flag
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LOL! I just said something like that this morning about some questionable milk. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:58 PM Flag
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Did it taste better than store bought? Been thinking to try [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:06 PM Flag
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No, but as good. I make it often. The ingredients are so inexpensive I can't bear to pay what the stores charge. I use peanut butter in place of the tahini though -- tahini's costs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:09 PM Flag
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np--If you make it often, why do you have a can of chick peas that expired two years ago? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:17 PM Flag
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Sherlock! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:20 PM Flag
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OP: My pantry cabinet is deep and dark. Who knows what lurks way in the back. I've bought and consumed and replaced many cans of chick peas during the time this particular can was in residence. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:47 PM Flag
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Clean periodically and bring the old things to the front. Always put newly purchased items behind things already there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 07:21 AM Flag
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Most stores don’t carry 2017 hummus so you’ll have to make it yourself. Np [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:10 PM Flag
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True. Lol. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:13 PM Flag
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it was a very special vintage. Rare, rare. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:13 PM Flag
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OMG love this post, made me laugh out loud, thank you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:04 AM Flag
[ - ] Shopping at the grocery store this afternoon when I saw a boy, about 4, run to the bakery case, grab a donut and take a bite while his father wasn't looking. When Dad turned around and saw the boy with donut in his hand he went off. I was amused and didn't think it was that big of a deal, likely bc not my kid, but wondered how I might react if my dc had done the same when that age. How would you handle? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:48 PM Flag
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I would probably have laughed. What else? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:51 PM Flag
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You pay for the donut and explain the child is not allowed to do that. You do not let child eat donut [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:51 PM Flag
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This. A teaching moment. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:56 PM Flag
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I would not be cool with it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:08 PM Flag
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He was probably embarrassed and thought other people watching might say something [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:08 PM Flag
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The grocery store isn't going to care, they can see with cameras that it's not shoplifting, but it is a teachable moment for your dc that you have to buy first. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:43 PM Flag
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Hi, friendly Amazon Prime Now shopper mom here. Every shift I see many, many adults eating their groceries before paying for them. I say the boy sounds very grown-up! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:51 PM Flag
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When ds was about 2 or 3 he used to grab hunks of cheese from the case at Trader Joe's, where they were down low at this level, and take a bite. Happened several times. I didn't make a huge deal, didn't laugh, told him no, paid for the cheese. And learned to watch him more closely when we were in that area. That said, you don't know anything about that family. Maybe ds has been ignoring rules all weekend. Maybe dad is super-worried about money and wasn't planning to pay for an extra donut. Maybe dad was just tired and having a shitty day and it just came out at that moment. You never know what's going on with other people. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:08 AM Flag
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This [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:36 AM Flag
[ - ] A friend called to go to Metallica sf symphony concert tonight. Ticket price will be at least around $270 Should I go? Is it worth it? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:45 PM Flag
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^^ I'm in SF bay area [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:45 PM Flag
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Bobby Axelrod says yes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:47 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:50 PM Flag
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Cringe! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:55 PM Flag
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you couldn't pay me to listen to metallica. I guess it depends on whether you enjoy that music [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:51 PM Flag
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op: I only like and listen to few of their pieces such as nothing else matters, no leaf clover, one; they all sound much more beautiful with the SF symphony. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:56 PM Flag
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The fact that you call them pieces might suggest you shouldn’t attend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:07 PM Flag
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Again, only you know if it’s “worth it.” Would it be worth it for me? No, I don’t dig Metallica. Would it be worth it for a fan? Probably. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:01 PM Flag
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I would love that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:07 PM Flag
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So her real friend canceled last minute and she's trying to recoup the cost? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:49 PM Flag
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op: nope, she didn't have tickets and would buy today [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:34 AM Flag
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that's so different that I'd go. I love a good mash up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:22 PM Flag
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op: exactly, that's what's interesting for me too but I decided not to go; too much arrangement at the last minute [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:33 AM Flag
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[ - ] Car inspection question. I parked my car on a street (where there is no ASP) and it’s been there for several days now. I realized the inspection was due to expire at the end of Aug and tries to go get it done, but it won’t start! Seems to be more than just a dead battery since jumping it isn’t working. Decided to just scrap the car (really old, crazy miles) but having a hell of a time finding a place that will take it. On top of that, the traffic minions keep ticketing it! Do I really have to pay for all these tickets? I would be happy to pay the first, but come on! The car won’t start so can’t easily drive it to get inspected. Can anyone help with either info re ticket or a place that would come and tow the car? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:38 PM Flag
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- I should add, I did put a note on the car that it won’t start and will be donated, but they keep ticketing it... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:40 PM Flag
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Call a tow truck and have it towed to a wrecking yard. Or did you try the extremely annoying people at 1 877 Kars for kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:42 PM Flag
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NOT them! Scam! Op, try WNYC. They accept donated cars. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:47 PM Flag
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I hate you. Now that song will be in my head for days. Hate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 11.13.19, 08:37 PM Flag
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They should keep ticketing. Yes you need to pay. Wtf [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:42 PM Flag
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Calm down killah [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:25 AM Flag
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Pay for tow truck. You get ticket w expired registration Do you have road side assistance through aaa or your auto insurer?? I pay $50 per year for this type coverage for free towing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:44 PM Flag
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They ticket regardless. If you were unable to move the car, you contest and the tickets will be forgiven. Our car has twice been immovable for ASP, and both times I sent back a letter with a copy of the towing receipt and didn’t have to pay. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:46 PM Flag
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Karsforkids. I hear their ads on radio . But google to see if like them [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:49 PM Flag
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That’s a scam actually. They say it’s to send underprivileged kids to summer camp, but it’s really for the organizers to send their own and their community’s kids to summer camp. DD’s camp is $8750 — would love someone to donate a car I could sell to cover that! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:52 PM Flag
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SCAM [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:02 PM Flag
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You need a tow truck and yes, you need to pay the tickets. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:53 PM Flag
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If you can get a charity that wants it right away, ask them to pay the tickets. They still come out ahead. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:07 PM Flag
[ - ] If I have been a socially inept person for much of my life, starting in the tween years. I've also been negative and depressed about family situations, work, and having no time to develop friendships, and unfortunately my ds knows (tried to keep it from him). Doesn't help that my ex, who calls me a "loner" and old lady in front of dc. How do I keep ds from thinking of me this way or being this way? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:29 PM Flag
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And to help dc to develop like a normal person? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:30 PM Flag
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I'm sorry that you feel this way. By any chance are you in therapy for yourself? How old is DS? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:39 PM Flag
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10. Lately he had had conflicts with his friends, doesn't want to do anything. He is in therapy, but I haven't had time. I am just feeling down like I did this to him just by being me. Plus, due to his behavior and reluctance to even run errands with me, I feel really isolated. He will not even go for ice cream, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:44 PM Flag
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Ok, therapy for you stat. And empathy for yourself. You should not feel isolated b/c he won't go for ice cream with you. That is not good for you or him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:49 PM Flag
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yes- be good to yourself and find a therapies who you click with. Acceptance that you are who you are and that's okay is a part of that. But also encouragement to make small, mangeable changes so that you can achieve your goals for yourself- like more friendships. Don't blame your behavior for your son being himself- its probably genes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:58 PM Flag
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But she does so your deciding she shouldn't is useless. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:01 PM Flag
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Hence therapy suggestion, friend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:02 PM Flag
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Make time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:01 PM Flag
[ - ] For anyone interested in a good family movie, "Zoo" (2018) is great, set in Belfast at the start of WW2, about a boy who steps up to help protect animals at the local zoo from bombing raids. Inspired by the true story. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:17 PM Flag
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Haven’t seen that but loved The Zookeeper’s Wife which took place in Warsaw suing WWII. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:20 PM Flag
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During, not suing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:22 PM Flag
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I haven't seen that one yet! I liked "We Bought a Zoo" with Matt Damon, though, too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:37 PM Flag
[ - ] Recommendations for a fun downtown art museum or area of artists that is showing and/or selling? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:14 PM Flag
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Tribeca is now filled with galleries. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:23 PM Flag
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True! There are about two dozen galleries in Tribeca, as of this week. And Chelsea has a few hundred galleries and the Whitney Museum; the Lower East Side has about a hundred galleries and the New Museum "Downtown" is full of art. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:25 AM Flag
[ - ] West Village or UWS? For raising kids. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:13 PM Flag
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public or private schools? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:14 PM Flag
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UWS hands down. You can't beat having Central Park and Riverside nearby. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:17 PM Flag
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Either are great. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:16 PM Flag
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For oublic school, WV. If private, UWS [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:20 PM Flag
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UWS is more of a family neighborhood, WV is more of a party/trendy area [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:23 PM Flag
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Maybe you're thinking of the Meat Packing district? Shopping during the day in the WV, sure, but also families 24/7. A few restaurants, but not a bar or party scene at all. And both PS 3 and PS41 are great public schools [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:08 PM Flag
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Yes, but you can get very little apartment for your money, the streets are packed (making riding a scooter down the street at certain times very difficult), no large parks nearby. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:33 PM Flag
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I agree about the parks. But UWS is super packed, mostly with residents instead of tourists. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:50 PM Flag
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West village [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:25 PM Flag
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Just left UWS for WV. I would say it depends on kids' ages. UWS is great for elementary school kids -- Central Park, good kid friendly restaurants, short walk to CP Zoo, AMNH etc. But my teenagers are loving West Village. I think WV might be a bit tougher for littles -- not to say they can't do it, but there's more "texture" to the streets down here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:21 PM Flag
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UWS is boring, [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:45 PM Flag
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West Village hands down. My dream is to live there. Super family friendly, Lots of schools and Hudson River Park and bikeway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:07 AM Flag
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and you might run into SJP and her crew! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 03:58 AM Flag
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This is like asking whether Shangri-La or Xanadu is a better fantasyland [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:22 PM Flag
[ - ] Would you post photos in FB of a birthday party (turning 50) where only 4 ladies were invited from a larger group of friends? Even if they are closer, I still don't see what's the need to post this, if by doing it the other ladies will find out that they were not invited to the party 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:42 PM Flag
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Social media is inherently rude. That's what people sign up for. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:45 PM Flag
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It shouldn't be that way if people are a little more empathic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:54 PM Flag
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But the whole point of it is to show people’s social lives. It can’t be used for its stated purpose without revealing events to people who weren’t included. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:46 PM Flag
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ITA. We just went a birthday party with a smaller group than our larger one. Everyone agreed no FB. It just makes people feel shitty. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:46 PM Flag
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I agree with your policy. I think the same, you might her feelings or make others feel excluded. Good for you for not to post in FB. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:49 PM Flag
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Np: otoh, if you think your guest list would hurt someone else if they knew, maybe you should rethink excluding them. Being secretive isn't necessarily better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:49 PM Flag
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Every event can't include every person who knows some of the others. Most of my post-college friends are people I met through a running club. The club has 650 members. They wouldn't all fit! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:53 PM Flag
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I agree that sometimes you can't invite everybody, but it's good taste and discretion from those who were invited not to post when the others (not 650 but 12 were not invited to a big party) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:58 PM Flag
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It's not about being secretive, the other women would not have found out about that party, if it wasn't for those photos. Its just about being thoughtful, there's no need to post when you know others were not invited. For me it's a no brainer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:54 PM Flag
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I would not have posted. However, that happens all the time in FB [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:06 PM Flag
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This. If you are very sensitive, you should get off Facebook. Lots of hurt feelings. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:24 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:25 PM Flag
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I would post. It's a birthday party! And four is such a very small group, that I can't rally imagine other ladies getting their panties in a twist over not being included. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:09 PM Flag
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I would not do this but there is so much that I see on social media that seems tacky to me. Posting photos of parties that other people weren't invited to, posting selfies for no reason than to show that your hair looks nice that day, posting photos of your child's standardized test scores and report cards, cryptic posts about "I have been through so much in my life and sometimes you just need to dump toxic people and put yourself first!". I guess it's meant for a certain personality type. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:31 PM Flag
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sure - but just call it a dinner with friends or something [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:24 PM Flag
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Feelings will be hurt. Doing this (posting on SM) gives the excluded "friends" a chance to realize they aren't as close to the others, AND are left out, so maybe it's time for them to make some better, closer friends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:05 AM Flag
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I would not post. If you have to ask, you already know. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:06 AM Flag
[ - ] Want to try a new place in Florida over Xmas holiday break. Have 2 tween dd so need things to do besides the beach. What towns or cities do you like? tia. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:38 PM Flag
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Marco Island was nice [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:42 PM Flag
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South Beach is great .Amelia Island is fun but it will prob be colder there [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:42 PM Flag
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^^oh and Sanibel so you can bike [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:43 PM Flag
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Amelia isn't warm in December. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:46 PM Flag
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we love sarasota. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:47 PM Flag
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We stayed in Destin and enjoyed it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:47 PM Flag
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I booked some sailing lessons at a nearby port and had a great time [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:55 PM Flag
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Sanibel and Captive (next to each other) are both wonderful for families [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:10 PM Flag
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I love Fort Lauderdale. Beaches, touristry area along A1A, boat ride through the Everglades, drive down to dinner in Little Havana, shopping and galleries on Los Olas. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:22 PM Flag
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Miami. tweens will have a ton to look at and there's shopping. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:25 PM Flag
[ - ] Any former sorority moms on? Would love to hear your experiences. DD plans to join a sorority (she's hearing from her older friends that it's a great way to meet people). I feel like there are lots of horror stories about sororities (and especially fraternities)--ranging from hazing and dangerous/demeaning behavior, to cliquishness and snobbery. Thoughts? Also, is it common to get rejected by every sorority during Rush or do people generally get picked up (even if not by their first choice)? 51 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:26 PM Flag
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I was in a sorority and it was very big at our school, but I think the culture depends on the school. I definitely met people but really wasn't close friends with the girls from my sorority- the girls I lived with in the dorm developed much tighter bonds. There was definite hazing at the fraternities and when I look back, it was scary. We were not hazed. I would say 1-2 women I know did not get picked up, out of about 20 I knew who rushed. They were devastated at the time but were fine afterward. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:35 PM Flag
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^this was in the midwest by the way and I would guess about 70% of students were part of the Greek system. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:36 PM Flag
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Hazing can happen anywhere, so everyone just needs to have the backbone to say, "I'd rather be alone for the right reasons, than be part of the group for the wrong reasons." You can't get hazed if you aren't desperate to be part of a group of abusive anal fissures. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 10:48 AM Flag
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It was very chill at my school. I hear these stories about poor girls rushing their first few days of school, arriving at school with "recs" from former sorority members, or not getting a bid and deciding to leave school in the spring bc they will have no social life. All that makes my skin crawl. We are actively looking for schools for my dcs without a huge Greek influence. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:38 PM Flag
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Swarthmore eliminated all its fraternities this year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:45 PM Flag
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I think they had an incident with one, if I recall correctly [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:48 PM Flag
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Yes, they found old meeting minutes that confirmed conspiracy to make rapes happen, basically. Rather than try to "fix" fraternity life, they were eliminated. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:53 PM Flag
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omg [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:03 PM Flag
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This is how dh and I feel too. I know my oldest won't want to rush but I don't want any of them at schools where it will limit their social lives. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:02 PM Flag
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I did it because I wanted to be like my older sister who was VP of her sorority - My older sister however was in a clique in HS - was the scary hot girl - wanted and feared by all boys and envied by girls. I was more like the cartoon character Daria. I did wind up rushing and doing it but the only sorority that wanted me was a very quirky one. The one where I double legacy at (my sister and cousin) flat out rejected me. It sucked. That said, once I dusted myself off, I realized that I clicked with the quirky weirdos and they even embraced my outside uniqueness of belonging to certain campus clubs that you wouldn't expect a sorority girl to belong to. Rush sucked - you had to dress alike and do stupid things for hazing. One night I had to paint a mural with my pledge class in the freezing cold. I hated line ups - when you were called to the house at any given moment for some silly embarrassing thing(nothing that put you in danger). Parties were insane - I remember lots of beer, pictures falling off the walls do to them shaking, body surfing and yes, many people getting alcohol poisoning - you shouldn't be dumb about things. That was scary. I wouldn't discourage my own children from pledging but I would warn them about safety - not to do anything stupid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:44 PM Flag
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ILY. Made me laugh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:50 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 09:09 PM Flag
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I wasn't in a sorority but I was at many college parties like you describe. It is NOT limited at all to sororities [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:51 PM Flag
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seconding [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:33 AM Flag
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OP. Thank you for the helpful reply. I'm not going to tell her not to do it, but I want to learn more about it so that I can be informed and have a conversation about any concerns I have. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:18 PM Flag
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I love your posts, what you describe is my DDS. The older one was perfect for a sorority the younger one needs to stick to creative clubs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:41 PM Flag
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or: Thank you - I joined the radio station and TBH those were my people - I'm in a creative field fwiw. My sister is the head of HR at hospital :) - [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 09:45 PM Flag
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The further south you go, the weirder and crazier it becomes. My DD is in a sorority in a midwest LAC, and they have parties and do community service, but do not have a house and rush is lowkey. The stories she has heard about Texas and Alabama, on the other hand... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:45 PM Flag
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+1- I also went to a school where sororities don’t live together and it was overall a good experience (except Rush, which is universally awful). Essentially replaced some HS social activities - eg formal in lieu of prom. Also offered some leadership roles with low work levels, which helped build my resume at a mid-size school where a campus wide position would have been tough to find. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:12 PM Flag
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Not geographical. Varies by campus and also greek organization prominence/influence varies by campus too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:35 AM Flag
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Example https://www.townandcountrymag.com/society/tradition/g2977/best-sorority-houses/ midwest, california, new england area - all have amazing houses, which is saying something with the cost of real estate compared to as you wrote, in the south, where it is cheaper [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:41 AM Flag
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A lot really depends on the school and quite frankly your daughter. I joined a mellow sorority and I loved it. I met so many nice people and it was great after in keeping us all in touch with alumni associations. I thought being a pledge was annoying sometimes but fun and it really bonded me to my pledge class. If your DD know to pick one she likes and not one she thinks is the coolest, she will have a great time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:51 PM Flag
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It’s time to let go, and make yourself busy with your own life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:08 PM Flag
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Yeah, except OP is (presumably) paying for both college tuition and sorority dues/fees. Therefore, she has a right to know what's going on and approve of it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:17 PM Flag
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I strongly disagree. They are adults. Your purse strings are not the same as umbilical cord. Let them GO BE ADULTS. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:28 PM Flag
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It is a financial commitment too so I agree the parents are involved. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:41 PM Flag
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It really depends on the school. Bigger Greek schools will have some people rejected by every sorority and they might have more “intense” cultures with hazing. She can go through rush and pledge ship and see if it’s for her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:45 PM Flag
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I was in a sorority at a small LAC and it really was great. but, it wasn't a big scary one with crazy people and terrible hazing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:27 PM Flag
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I was in a sorority but was closer to my dorm-mates from first year than the sorority sisters. We had a beautiful house and you could live there or just take meals. We were not hazed. However the fraternity culture at our school was disturbing and I wouldn't recommend this school for DCs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:43 PM Flag
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I have two perspectives. I was in a sorority(large southern university) and was a Dean of Students at different large southern university who oversaw the Greek system. As a student, I enjoyed the experience but it wasn't my life. I was involved in other student organizations. Yes there was hazing but it wasn't too crazy. It's not like the fraternities. As an adult and a college administrator, my opinion is the Greek system is the worst. I have many stories that i will not bore you with. I have a son and daughter and I will not encourage them to join. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:10 AM Flag
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Don't need stories but why/how is it the worst? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:34 AM Flag
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Google? https://vocal.media/education/best-college-sororities-in-the-u-s, https://www.townandcountrymag.com/society/tradition/g3193/best-sororities/, https://theculturetrip.com/north-america/usa/articles/the-most-notorious-sororities-in-the-united-states/, https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-top-sororities-nationally [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:39 AM Flag
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Huh. Based on these links, it looks like Kappa Alpha Theta is the place to be! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 05:00 AM Flag
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"The sorority with the most celebrity alumni, the organization has over 270,000 members internationally. With famous alumni such as Tory Burch, Laura Bush, Melinda Gates, Sheryl Crow, Amy Grant, Ann Margret, Dylan Lauren, Sarah Clarke, Claire McCaskill, Kerri Strug, Lynne Cheney, and many, many more, the sorority is chalk full of boat-worthy members." for UB yes :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 03:32 PM Flag
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My alma mater had no sororities but my closest friend was very active in hers at Lafayette. She's never said anything negative about hazing or such, and she's still very close friends with many of the other members, all of whom seem like nice, normal women. Just an anecdote. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:41 AM Flag
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Back in the Paleolithic Era, I was in a sorority at UCLA. The Greek system is huge there. I think I was in shock during the whole rush experience. It was truly intense. I made it through rush alive, joined a sorority, made good friends and had a great time. I have no idea what rush is like at big schools like that now, but back then it was a huge production and it was a very stressful experience. It was like high school amped up 300 times. Awful! I did not have the benefit of the internet back then or even relatives who had been in sororities or fraternities. Both of my parents were from Europe and they knew nothing about this weird American university stuff. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:52 AM Flag
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UCLA greek is still huge. Are you still friends with any of your greek sisters? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:12 AM Flag
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I am. I am still close friends with several fraternity brothers from back in the day as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:54 AM Flag
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Interesting you raise this. I would far prefer my daughter be in a sorority and learn how to interact with people than be glued to her phone and whatever impulsive viciousness text chains and social media evoke. She’s a smart kid, so was I. I was in a sorority. Not the most popular girls, but the girls I clicked with. And yes I did have the option to be in the other ones. I liked having things to do and a place to go (we didn’t have a house though). For a while I dropped out but then I went back. I like having a full social calendar. Overall I am glad I did it and I would hope they would teach these kids how to carry themselves as young women and learn some leadership skills as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:10 AM Flag
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This is so ridiculous if you think that sorority girls are not using texting and social media. You are comparing what you see of teens NOW to what you remember of your sorority days THEN. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 05:40 AM Flag
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I’m sure they do BUT they also physically see each other and do things- structured activities. A lost art. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 03:00 PM Flag
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You sound like you belong on urbangrandbaby [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 07:46 PM Flag
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I went to UGA for grad school and the locals (including staff, grad, etc.) called rush week "Umpa-Lumpa" for (smaller, shorter) undergrads wearing white, fake tans, and gelled hair. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:14 AM Flag
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I was in a sorority at a small LAC in Texas, and it was a wonderful experience. It totally depends on the culture at the school. The things that made a difference at my alma mater are: 1) Rush was in the spring, so you had a semester to get to know people and figure out where you fit in. 2) No houses, so I wasn't exclusively with sorority members all the time. 3) Low dues, so the Greek system wasn't just for rich kids. 4) No hazing. My sorority forbids it and really sticks to that. My closest friends now, 20 years later, are still the women I met in my sorority. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:20 PM Flag
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OR: Also, I feel that the sorority experience did help me later in life. There are a lot of professional development and networking skills you pick up by running meetings, planning events, "interviewing" new members, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:21 PM Flag
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Wow, this sounds fabulous! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 03:31 PM Flag
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It really was, and still is! It's impossible to paint all Greek life with the same brush. I'm saddened reading stories of terrible things that happen at other school in the name of Greek organizations. They can be a force for good, but are often not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:23 PM Flag
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I was in a Panel leadership role at my Ivy League school. I think sororities can be great or terrible. It's about human nature. My sorority was a very positive influence on my life. We used Panel as a platform as the largest women's organization on campus to do a lot of social advocacy work. Also, the greek women at my school had a higher avg. GPA than non greek women. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 03:21 PM Flag
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Panhel, not Panel. As in Panhellenic Council. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 03:23 PM Flag
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As others have said, it varies given region of the country, national versus local sorority, and even within a college's own campus. I was part of a sorority at Dartmouth. It was very chill. It was nice to have a female dominated space. Drinking was a big part of the culture, but we were never hazed. I'm sure there were dry sisters. I just wasn't one of them. I don't think many of us would have even bothered to rush at a big southern school, though - that experience seems intense!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:32 PM Flag
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Late to the party here (no pun intended!), but I was in a "top" sorority in a Top 20 southern school about 10-15 years ago (think UVA/Duke/Vandy), and I would not want the same experience for my daughter. Maybe things have changed, but it was truly a huge distraction and waste of such precious emotional energy that could have been channeled into more productive pursuits during my precious time there. I wish I could go back and do it all over again and just focus on school, but I worked so hard in high school to get into college, that by the time I arrived, I was so burnt out and just ready to party, and was lacking in emotional maturity. My career and life have turned out pretty okay, but if I had been more focused on my grades and actually worthwhile ECs, I think my life could have turned out even better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 10:43 PM Flag
[ - ] DD is going to a high school that has "business casual" dress code. No jeans, cords, cargo, sweats, leggings, etc. Anyone in a similar situation have suggestions on where to buy clothes? I got a few items at J Crew on sale. I think Ann Taylor is too old... other ideas? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:02 PM Flag
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Anthropologie, Free people, bloomingdales for dresses [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:12 PM Flag
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gap, old navy, lands end have "uniform" sections that will have suitable clothes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:32 PM Flag
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Zara, Mango [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:41 PM Flag
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This. If you don't need an actual "uniform," then Gap or Old Navy should be fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:36 PM Flag
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H and M is the best place. Cheap but nice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:52 PM Flag
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The washable pants from Boden are very durable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:31 PM Flag
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"Business Casual" for HS?!? That is the craziest naming I have heard in a long time. Public or private? What state? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:50 PM Flag
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All the chain stores. Loft, gap, old navy, BR, Madewell. Or just hit up Nordstrom rack or tjmaxx. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:02 AM Flag
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IS this real? No cords? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:34 AM Flag
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+1 - what's wrong with cords? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:17 PM Flag
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Kohl's French Toast clothing line. All available online, cheaply. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:23 PM Flag
[ - ] Any suggestions for fun family games to play while ‘killing time’ or say waiting for food at restaurant? We like card games or guessing games—open to anything that’s fun for a group 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:00 PM Flag
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We are getting out of the squares/hangman/20 questions/I spy phase and really like playing jotto (but that’s for 2 players). We also play a game called 3 card game which I’m not sure is a family invention or not (you can google). But we always play it out and about bc it takes up so little space and your hand is never more than 3 cards w only one discard pile [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:23 PM Flag
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Spot it! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:23 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:59 PM Flag
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I made up a game with DS when he was 8. I'd write down a number from 1 to 100. He then had to ask questions (is it bigger than 30?) and I'd answer yes or no and we'd track how many questions he had to ask to guess the # correctly. Then we'd switch. I had a better poker face so I usually won. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:44 PM Flag
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Another one we used to do was making small words out of a single big word. And the more long words you could find, the better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:44 PM Flag
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Practice conversation. It's not really appropriate to play games at a restaurant after ordering unless you are at a McDonald's or similar venue. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:49 PM Flag
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Why? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:27 PM Flag
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We play hangman. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:13 PM Flag
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Mind hide and seek. The person picks a place you have all been. The others ask questions, ie. is it inside? Is it in the US? Do we vacation there? etc. until the others guess where the hider is. It helps us remember fun places we have been together. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:14 PM Flag
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We play the alphabet game. We pick a topic (food, brands, names) and we go through the alphabet saying one for each letter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:28 PM Flag
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You can do situation games, like would you rather (but keep it clean!) it's a fun way to spark conversation, but still has the game element. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:36 PM Flag
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Look up a game called timeline. It’s a card game where you have to place the times that various things happened in a time sequence. Look on amazon, the games are classified by types of events (eg inventions). HM would approve of this game. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:56 PM Flag
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Pick a table and make up stories about the people. Be as mean and as funny as you like: they're strangers and they can't hear you! As a child, our family of four survived many sojourns abroad with that little game. Kept my sister and I from killing each other--and my parents from doing the same, I suspect. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:22 PM Flag
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"Find the spy" is a hoot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 05:39 AM Flag
[ - ] Dh and I sometimes watch porn together. He told me this weekend that while he was on a business trip last week a female coworker came on to him and he said that he couldn’t touch her but that she could make herself come and he’d watch. He’s saying nothing happened bc they didn’t have sex and he didn’t touch her but I think that’s an absurd technicality and he may as well as slept with her. He also says he thought I’d like hearing about it bc it was like a porn video I enjoy watching but we never discussed it happening outside of watching a fantasy video. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:49 PM Flag
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is he warming you up for a threesome? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:51 PM Flag
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Your DH is a sleaze [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:52 PM Flag
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+1 to infinity, get yourself tested for VDs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:03 PM Flag
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guy here, that is some weird shit - hopefully this is fake if not you have a problem on your hands [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:00 PM Flag
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Thanks for your honesty [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:04 PM Flag
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Sorry, no. Saying "nothing happened" is just insulting your intelligence -- he thinks you're an idiot and will actually accept a statement that blatantly ridiculous. You need to shut this down -- he can f around with some tramp at work, or he can be married to you, he can't do both at the same time. And if he is just saying this to see what your reaction is and it never really happened, that is even more messed up. I would be hella pissed and telling him if he wants a divorce I'd be happy to oblige. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:25 PM Flag
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Wait so - he was alone w her, while she touched herself (and I’m assuming he pleasures himself)??? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:49 PM Flag
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He would say nothing happened, do you really expect him to be honest with you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:05 PM Flag
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he's a cheating cheater and gas lighting you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:54 PM Flag
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hoist on his own petard. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:09 PM Flag
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I'm sorry, but your DH is being a jerk. Porn isn't a gateway drug to infidelity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:23 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:28 PM Flag
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DH here - I hope this is fake also. DW and I frequently watch porn together too, but I don't use it as an excuse to cheat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:26 PM Flag
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omfg. That's disgusting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:35 AM Flag
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I’d assume he was lying and actually had sex w her. It’s like when I had my driver learners permit and I told my dad that I just took the car around the block to practice parallel parking but really I was driving all Over town. I was setting up the excuse in case I got caught. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:09 AM Flag
[ - ] What happens during a college rep visit to a high school ? Does it increase odds of admissions if we reserve a spot ? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:36 PM Flag
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If it's a college your child might apply to, your child should sign up for the representative's visit. Showing interest in a school is a factor for lower ranked schools. (I know Skidmore and Lawrence University track interest, as examples.) The representative is usually the gatekeeper to admissions, so it really behooves an applicant to meet them, if at all possible. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:59 PM Flag
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Good to know. MIT visited last week and this week Haverford, Columbia, Regent’s From London etc. but DC is a sophomore. Is junior year too early to do this or wait until senior year ? For the student to meet or parents too ? I received the email as a parent and the meeting times are during school hours , [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:12 PM Flag
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It's reserved only for seniors at our school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:40 PM Flag
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I thought your child was a senior. Junior year is too early to meet with college reps with the exception of athletes talking with coaches. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:51 PM Flag
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MIT may implode over the Epstein scandal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:11 PM Flag
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just the media lab. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 03:18 AM Flag
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Sophomore year is WAY too early, you need to relax. DC met with a few at the start of junior year, which helped to give an idea of what he preferred, and he actually found two schools he liked out of the three or four rep visits he did, and we then visited those schools in person. But doing more than that super early is really sort of a waste. Also, our school gives preference to seniors for slots so it's not even possible to do some of the visits. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:39 PM Flag
[ - ] s/o of the "stupid fight with DH" MP. Most of the posters advised the OP to leave, but if she does that then this man will likely have 50% of time alone with DCs and possibly treat them the same way, with no one there to intervene. Wouldn't that be as bad, or worse? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:32 PM Flag
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Divorced mom here who had a similar husband. That was part of my decision to stay until youngest was 18. Otherwise you're not around to buffer his toxicity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:40 PM Flag
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OTOH, at least they see some non-toxic behavior modeled at home with mom. staying can normalize the toxicity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:42 PM Flag
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Rare for 50% custody. My ex gets every other weekend and two dinners a week. He wants the kids to like him so he is better with them but he was controlling and awful to me. Now, my kids are 12 and 14 and they would simply stop going is he acts like an asshole. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:32 PM Flag
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This is an excuse that people use to stay, but it is just an excuse because they are scared to leave. The kids need a normal home life at least some of the time to having a fighting chance of a normal adulthood. You can always put them in therapy. I know one person who stayed until her dd was 17- NOT an abusive situation, but her husband was an idiot and she was done with him. She stayed because her dh flat out told her that he would take their dd to hang out with his relatives, one of whom was a registered sex offender who had raped young girls. He had no problem doing it while they were married, but she could control if her dd went with him. Divorced, she would not have had that control. There was no abuse, he was just a terrible husband. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:59 PM Flag
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That sounds like an extremely valid reason so I wouldn’t say they use it as an excuse. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:16 PM Flag
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OR yes, I agree. She had a very valid reason IMO. I think most people who are getting abused use it as an excuse because they are scared to leave. But their kids are getting hurt by them staying and they have no place that is a refuge from the abuse. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:44 PM Flag
[ - ] Need to take 74 year old relative shopping for understated nice outfit - she's getting photographed for something she did. I'm thinking some kind of silk blouse and black slacks - where can I go besides Talbot's? Macy's or Bloomingdales is too much walking. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 09.08.19, 07:14 PM Flag
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DO you live anywhere near a J Jill? You'll find what she needs there, for sure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:17 PM Flag
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Or Eileen FIsher [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:17 PM Flag
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I don't think of Eileen Fisher as casual, but it is more fashion-forward, if your relative is conservative. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:25 PM Flag
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this may be too casual...silk blouse and tailored trousers aren't their thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:24 PM Flag
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How big is she? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:35 PM Flag
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Medium - 10-12 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:30 PM Flag
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We recently shopped for my father in law - and I noticed bright jewel toned colors like royal blue look amazing with people that have grey hair - what color is her skin tone? I'd go into a store that has elastic or stretch pants such as chicos / JJill and get a pretty jewel toned blouse with easy black or dark colored pants. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:53 PM Flag
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+1 on Chico’s and J.Jill. Also nice longer jackets that are in between casual and structured work wear that are perfect for this type of thing. My mom is a slightly older museum docent and this is where she shops. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:01 PM Flag
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Is she fashionable/ fancy? Because all the older women I know really like JC Penney. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:21 PM Flag
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Is it a head shot or full length? Do you think she would photograph better in a dress? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:41 PM Flag
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Where do you live? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:24 PM Flag
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Upper West Side. Everything at Jjill is stretchy jersey - want a slightly more formal look. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:32 PM Flag
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Ask the 74 year old, she has experience shopping for clothes, I promise you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:54 PM Flag
[ - ] 40yo mom here, with two elementary DCs and work FT. I feel like I have no hobbies. I go to the gym but that doesn't really count. What are your hobbies? Or interests that you pursue? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 06:55 PM Flag
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Running, screenwriting [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:04 PM Flag
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You’re in the thick of it. Having a full time job and being a mom and enjoying exercise are enough hobbies! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:09 PM Flag
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I wasn’t really able to work on my own stuff with any regularity until DD was a tween. I’m a lawyer for my day job but I’m a visual artist other times. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:02 PM Flag
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Reading and traveling [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:45 PM Flag
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Something portable that you can do while you wait for them at activities. For me it was knitting and/or crochet. A ball of yarn, a set of needles or a hook, and there you go. Plus, if you live someplace cold, there is always somebody who needs a hat or a scarf. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:46 PM Flag
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I've been volunteering in political campaigns. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:10 PM Flag
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Knitting and crossword puzzles and binge-watching tv series. God, seeing it in print makes me feel so dull! But I’m loving life! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:49 PM Flag
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yoga, it gives time to escape from the day to day stress and the hard classes are a great workout too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:55 PM Flag
[ - ] I am over ex dh and know that we weren't good together. I do my best to co-parent and be cordial with him for sake of dc's. However, whenever his gf (who he cheated on me with) calls him when he is in my home picking up dc's, I get hateful feelings towards them both. Normal to know I am better off but still get angry when I feel like a reminder of something that hurt me deeply is rubbed in my face? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 06:52 PM Flag
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You can be cordial and still not let him in your house and minimize your interactions with while. You never have to make a declaration about it either. Just start enforcing your own boundaries. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:16 PM Flag
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If it makes you feel better, she sounds insecure to call him while she knows he's picking up his kids and checking in with you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:31 PM Flag
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This. I think completely normal to feel this way. She serves as a reminder but maybe getting these feelings mean that you’re still mourning the relationship. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:56 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:29 PM Flag
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+100 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:32 PM Flag
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Well, it makes sense that she would be insecure. She already knows he's a cheater; it's just a matter of time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:39 PM Flag
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totally agree. OP, you are doing 100X better that soon-to-be-cheated-on new GF [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:12 PM Flag
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ha, very normal - remember though it was your ex that broke the vows - my ex came from a very wealthy family - my kids send me photos from exotic and high end vacations and while I am happy for them and would never give my ex the satisfaction of knowing I am envious....I am envious [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:58 PM Flag
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Of course but ow is still a pos. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:56 PM Flag
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OW is a scrap digger [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:10 PM Flag
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Next time she calls , yell out I LOVE YOU STEVE (or whatever his name is). Bitch will stop calling [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:10 PM Flag
[ - ] Just moved to burbs and DD started school. I hit it off with another mom and she asked me for coffee. During our initial meeting, I happened to mention that we are renting our house and would be looking to buy in the neighborhood sometime in the future. This mom works a realtor, and when she asked me out for coffee, she said maybe we could also walk with our drinks and look at a few places together. Now I can't help but feel like she only cares to be friends for business purposes:( Should I still go? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 06:17 PM Flag
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How many homes can you look at while on a walking tour? [ Reply | More
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[ - ] What should I pay a college student who will help me out with my baby twice a week for 3 hours 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:33 PM Flag
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$15/hr [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:41 PM Flag
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Cheapo [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 06:05 PM Flag
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What do you recommend [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 06:14 PM Flag
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$20-$25/hr [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:50 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:35 PM Flag
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I think $15 is fine. That's minimum wage, and she is most likely not declaring it as income, so she's better off than in a regular job. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:40 PM Flag
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It depends where OP lives as to the minimum wage. Many states in the country have a minimum wage of $7.25/hour, including three of the first four states voting in the Democratic primary next year (Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina). Nevada minimum wage is $8.50. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:58 PM Flag
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PP: I was assuming NYC. Can’t imagine babysitters in South Carolina are commanding more than $15 an hour. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:44 PM Flag
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I think 15-18 is fine for off the books which this surely is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:47 PM Flag
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Ask what they charge, and then negotiate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 11.13.19, 08:39 PM Flag
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When I was in college ten years ago, I wouldn't get out of my pajamas for less than $100. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 11.13.19, 08:40 PM Flag
[ - ] Does IKEA deliver in Brooklyn? Ten year old DD dressed falling apart, and we are really busy this month- I need a standard tall dresser sent to apartment? Any ideas? Thanks 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:24 PM Flag
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Yes, the Ikea in Brooklyn delivers in Brooklyn. We’ve had some stuff delivered. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:29 PM Flag
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Thanks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 06:38 PM Flag
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But don't you have to go shop and pay in person before they'll do that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:41 PM Flag
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No you order online [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:26 PM Flag
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Yes they deliver but it’s not cheap. It’s like $60-70. If you’re not that far, way easier to take an Uber there and pick it up yourself. You can choose pick up option when you order and they have it there waiting for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:43 PM Flag
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Make sure to secure the dresser to the wall. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:59 PM Flag
[ - ] 11 year old dd is having a full-on tantrum because we told her she can't have a playdate with a friend. How worried should I be? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 04:10 PM Flag
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Not worried at all. Don't give her tantrums "currency" by making them something more than they are. Just tell her that you know she can get through her strong feelings of disappointment and when she's ready to come out of her room, she can have a glass of juice. My kids had low blood sugar type tantrums when they weren't eating enough. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 04:11 PM Flag
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tween, normal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 04:23 PM Flag
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Thanks, guys. This is reassuring. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 04:24 PM Flag
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What's not normal is that you're still calling it a playdate at 11 years old. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:08 PM Flag
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yes it is but maybe not where you live [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:49 PM Flag
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Maybe she'll be having her period soon. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 05:45 AM Flag
[ - ] Poor moms: If your appealing, well liked, involved in school's EC's kid has generous FA to a TT school but the kid's academic performance is low B's, what would you do if goal is to have child attend top 50 college with affordable FA. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 04:08 PM Flag
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Leave her where she is now. She should be fine for top 50. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 04:11 PM Flag
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I'd get some tutoring (if that is your/their goal--top 50). Otherwise I'd say be happy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 04:14 PM Flag
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How much has she been reaching out to her teachers for help? At my DD’s TT the teachers are very willing to meet with struggling students, and even will set up weekly meetings to help your kid. You don’t need to pay for tutoring for her to get more help in her classes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 04:23 PM Flag
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I'd work with the school first to figure out what she needs to get her grades up and also see what they're thinking relative to her college placement. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 04:28 PM Flag
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Who cares about a hypothetical about someone else's kid who doesn't exist? Articulate your own problem and ask that actual question you want an answer to. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:09 PM Flag
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Move to a state with a Big Ten university. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:10 PM Flag
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Become a D1 level athlete [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:17 PM Flag
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Poor mom: can you give me (roughly) the kind of income that gets generous aid. Thanks in advance! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:52 PM Flag
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Tell us your HHI. You probably won't get really generous aid if you're "NYC poor" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:32 AM Flag
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Do not assume you will be able to get aid in college. NYC independent schools give aid to families with higher income than colleges will. Run your numbers on college net price calculators to get a sense of college aid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:02 PM Flag
[ - ] Ugh. SO hungover. I regret everything! 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 04:05 PM Flag
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I replaced alcohol with weed. Lost weight and now I remember everything. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 04:07 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:10 PM Flag
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I remember those days. I was a full blown alcoholic though and my cure was to just drink more (even in the morning). Don’t do that. Just take it easy today. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 04:57 PM Flag
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Same here! I'm the sad single 30yo who was thinking of dating a 48yo (I need a shorter nickname). Last night I went to a dinner party which was basically a set up. My friend turned it into a slumber party and it was very fun to wake up with her this morning and feel like teens. Hungover teens tho. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:54 PM Flag
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All the guests slept in their clothes? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:57 PM Flag
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Not all, just about half. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 06:03 PM Flag
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How did the set up go? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 06:06 PM Flag
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This was me the other day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:45 PM Flag
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Poor thing. If you want, I'll come over and you can talk - I'm a very good listener. You supply the coffee & Tylenol and if I have to clean you up it's extra. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:21 PM Flag
[ - ] What do you say to your toddler to help him or her stay on tasks like getting dressed? My DS is all over the place when getting him dressed. I would like to be not helping him at all at this point but it's been so hard to get him to focus on one thing at a time. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:48 PM Flag
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I dressed my kids until they were 5. Each kid is different. My dd got it at 2 and could come down in a fully chosen (matching) ensemble My ds OTOH would have gone in his briefs if left up to him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:51 PM Flag
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Put on a timer and have him play "Beat the Clock". Give him a reward if he can do it under 3-5 minutest (or whatever you decide). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:52 PM Flag
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Great idea!!!! Thank you so much! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:58 PM Flag
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I raced my toddler getting dressed. Also works with older kids, but not teens. ha ha [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:59 PM Flag
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As in "Can you get dressed before I get breakfast on the table? I bet you can't beat me! I'm faster!!" + maniacal laugh [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 04:01 PM Flag
[ - ] Need a new bed and new sofa. Don't want to buy online as not good at putting things together! Any recommendations for medium range price, good quality, stylish stores in city where I can shops, get things delivered and set up? TIA!! 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:36 PM Flag
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If you need a bed + mattress, we liked the one we got from Charles P Rodgers in Flatiron. For general furniture, I think Room and Board is a little better than Pottery Barn and the other big boxer stores. Both will deliver and set up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:40 PM Flag
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Ordering in line doesn’t mean you have to put it together. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:06 PM Flag
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This. It’s more of a price point thing. I know Macy’s and crate and barrel “deliver” assembled furniture. Sites like Wayfair “ship” flat packed furniture. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 06:57 PM Flag
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^ actually my bed from Macy’s was not assembled but their guys took care of it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 06:58 PM Flag
[ - ] If you could point to one habit or mantra that keeps you thin, what would it be? 86 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:30 PM Flag
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Burn more calories than I eat every day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:31 PM Flag
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By doing what? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:35 PM Flag
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FTW. The ONLY one! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:37 PM Flag
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How do you burn more calories than you eat. That seems impossible and unhealthy. I stay on a 1400 calorie diet and burn several hundred calories 3x a week but not more than I eat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:55 PM Flag
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You burn calories walking around, not just while working out! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:56 PM Flag
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More than you take in. No. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 04:11 PM Flag
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Your body burns a certain amount of calories just keeping itself going each day, usually in the 1100-1400 range. Otherwise we’d all be enormous. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:12 PM Flag
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Are you being serious right now? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:12 PM Flag
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Omg some of the people on this site are so dumb. That's how you know the whole "TT school" thing is just a bunch of fantasists. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:13 PM Flag
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Lol. If you don’t burn more than you eat then you would gain every day. Even just lying in bed all day, your body would probably burn 1000 calories. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:53 PM Flag
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BTDT didn't work for me. I had to eat less calories. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 04:55 PM Flag
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smh [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:11 PM Flag
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calories in isn't the same as calories out. Bodies easily adjust to exercise, ask any professionally employed trainer / coach. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:25 AM Flag
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Oh, honey... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 10:34 AM Flag
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Reddit is a better URL for MRA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 03:19 PM Flag
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*fewer [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 10:34 AM Flag
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Genes, nervousness and keeping busy (it’s a package). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:32 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 06:30 PM Flag
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At a grocery store, peek into a skinny person's shopping cart. Buy what they buy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:33 PM Flag
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I thought I was the only one who did this. I find other people's shopping carts fascinating. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:56 PM Flag
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I found a grocery list in a cart that amused me so I brought it home. It lists all the dinners for the week. Monday night is "Kelly's" which made me crack up, it's so Boston. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:57 PM Flag
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Me too, but not for this top post reason. Bachelors and single Dads are predictable and sometimes funny, sometimes sad/depressing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 04:57 PM Flag
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Me too. I like to compare which people are buying ingredients vs. buying food that's heat and serve. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:47 PM Flag
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I do my shopping in stages. This morning was cat food. Enjoy your kitty food! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 04:50 PM Flag
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I’m pretty slim but almost always have chips, chocolate, cheese, in my cart! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:10 PM Flag
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+1 because I don't gain weight no matter what. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:30 PM Flag
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Np: it’s never once occurred to me to do this but now I’m dying to. Very curious ! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:02 AM Flag
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Biggest would be stop eating when I’m full. Second, no attraction to snacking. Third, food isn’t issue-laden for me. I love food with no negatives - I don’t feel guilt or stress issues attached to food. I am naturally thin though - so I think food being a happy neutral thing for me also comes from being thin to begin with. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:41 PM Flag
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I think I'm the opposite. No attraction to whole meals. I'd rather graze all day. But, I'm the type who would also eat one thing out of the TV dinner and leave the rest for later. I wasn't in the mood for 5 things, just the 1 or 2. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:13 PM Flag
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Don't bring anything home that you don't want to eat. So if you crave an oreo or two, just buy a 6 snack pack and throw out 4 to begin with. I actually like snacking on vegetables so I prepare (wash, cut up etc) so I can easily pop in a microwave and have a small bit of dressing on it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:46 PM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 04:56 PM Flag
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Plan ahead. Keep healthy snacks available and pack them when you’re going somewhere where you’re unsure whether they will be. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:54 PM Flag
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Birds of a feather... get rid of the fat, unhealthy, toxic, drag you down, Debbie Downers in your life, and surround yourself with people you want to be like. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 04:56 PM Flag
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Weight yourself every day. When the number is too high, eat less for a couple of weeks and get it back on track. (Obviously taking into account time of month, large meal, etc). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:07 PM Flag
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+1. The times I’ve stopped my daily weigh-ins were when I gained 10 lbs and it was so painful to lose them. So much easier to drop 1-2 every so often. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:53 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:28 PM Flag
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I'm thinking of trying this--do you give yourself a range? Or a set number? I hate to weigh myself, but I agree that there is accountability when you can see the number creeping up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:21 PM Flag
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Hi! I try not to be too strict about it. If I am in major working out mode I can weight more and it is okay. I am 5’8” and I prefer to stay close to 140. If it was at 145 id dial it back. The key is to use it as a check either mostly being healthy otherwise. No obsession over an exact weight. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:28 PM Flag
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Thanks. That makes sense. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:31 PM Flag
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Small portions, don’t eat when I’m Not hungry [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:09 PM Flag
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Tolerate hunger. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:28 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:35 PM Flag
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Thirding [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:25 AM Flag
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Fourth [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 03:49 PM Flag
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I sniff grapefruit oil to beat cravings. Works like a charm and after 2-3 days I don't even need it. That said, I eventually always backslide and I am average, not thin. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:57 PM Flag
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Is this a thing? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:49 AM Flag
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Being hungry is normal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 06:44 PM Flag
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Moment on the lips, lifetime on the hips. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:31 PM Flag
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Don't drink calories. No soda, OJ, lattes, very limited alcohol. And none of that toxic diet soda crap. I drink one cup of coffee in the morning and water all other times. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:53 PM Flag
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This. I drink flavored seltzer and coffee with a splash of half and half. I try to limit wine. Never diet soda - that stuff is bad for you and ineffective. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:00 PM Flag
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I do the same [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:13 AM Flag
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Me 4 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:25 AM Flag
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+ smoothies. All sugar and no fiber. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:38 AM Flag
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No binge eating, EVER. Not on holidays, not at parties, not at a special restaurant. As soon as I'm slightly full I stop eating immediately. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:55 PM Flag
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Define "binge eating". Do you mean you never mindlessly eat? Never eat a big meal? Only eat when hungry? In this context, is splurging (like having that second slice of pizza or extra mashed potatoes and stuffing at Thanksgiving) the same as binging? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:19 PM Flag
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I define it as eating when you aren't hungry, so I think those are all potential examples. If you're eating the second slice of pizza because you're hungry, that's not binging. If you're full enough to stop, but eat the pizza anyway, that's binging. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:13 PM Flag
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If I could stick to this, I wouldn't have a weight problem. I feel like I eat out of habit and/or boredom. I need to learn to listen to my body. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:23 PM Flag
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Yep [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:26 AM Flag
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NP. Watching this. It's a constant struggle for me. I wish food and weight wasn't a psychologically loaded issue for me, but I don't know how to change it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:16 PM Flag
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Why would I want to be thin? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:08 PM Flag
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ily [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:27 PM Flag
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Do not get up from the table feeling stuffed. Always leave room to eat a little more. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:15 PM Flag
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I like to leave enough empty space that if necessary I could run [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:26 AM Flag
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A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:33 PM Flag
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Drink a full glass of water before each meal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:33 PM Flag
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This didn't work for me but I'm sure drinking more water overall helped [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:27 AM Flag
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I think about if the enjoyment is worth the calories. Usually I can find equal or almost equal enjoyment with a lower calorie healthier option. For example, I’d be as happy eating quinoa as I would be eating white rice or pasta. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:52 PM Flag
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Yes like Kate Moss "nothing tastes as good as being thin feels" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:27 AM Flag
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no sugar and an hour of exercise a day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:43 PM Flag
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I had an eating disorder for many years, and this post is very triggering and upsetting. It's sad to read the things women do in order to stay thin. Sniffing grapefruit oil? Embracing hunger? Weighing ourselves every day? When I weighed myself every day, I drove myself crazy... I would get so upset if I weighed 0.2 lbs more than I thought I should. Why not being at peace with our bodies, even if they are not perfect? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:08 AM Flag
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To this point: last year, Kate Moss officially retracted her comment "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" https://www.bbc.com/news/newsbeat-45522714 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:19 AM Flag
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In the early days of her career, Kate was dubbed the face of "heroin chic". now? "I go to bed, I drink lots of water, not too much coffee, and I'm trying to cut down on cigarettes." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 03:21 PM Flag
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All for publicity reasons probably. Just liek we see pics of all celebrities doing stuff with their kids, when 95% of the time there is a full-time team of nannies involved. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:45 PM Flag
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I hear you, but obesity is a real and huge problem in our country right now. I'm not reading these things and thinking about getting rail thin. I'm reading them and hoping for ideas on how to get my BMI down to a healthy range again. You of course are seeing it through your personal lens, but if I didn't weigh myself consistently I'd gain even more weight. I know, because it's happened. Clothes these days are stretchy and "flattering" and you can't tell you've gained weight until you're up 15lb. I repeat- I'm not anorexic, I am just trying to lose weight. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:19 AM Flag
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this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 03:46 AM Flag
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np--The post asks for ideas on how to stay thin--not be a regular weight. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 07:31 AM Flag
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When regular = obese, thin = regular. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 03:21 PM Flag
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OR: thank you. What I think most of us read when we read "Staying thin" is "not getting fat", as opposed to "staying too thin and not becoming a healthy weight". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:50 PM Flag
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NP that's what I read it as, at least [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 05:44 PM Flag
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I like food that are not fattening (vegetables, lean meat...), and eat a fruit or a boiled egg as snack. I have a weakness for candies and chocolates though. I weight myself regularely, and when I reach my upper limit, I stop candies and chocolates for 1 week or two until the weight goes down. That said, I've always been the same weight except when pregnant, so my metabolism is working fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:18 AM Flag
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Doing WW and it is helping. Cut out mindless snacking, track everything you eat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:40 AM Flag
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Heroin [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 03:05 AM Flag
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Remember Aunt Cindy. She lost both her legs and then her life while her boys were still teenagers. Diabetes. :( [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 07:31 AM Flag
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Eat slowly, savor the flavors and textures and really chew your food. Give your body a chance to indicate that you’re full. Also, it helps that I am a mother now. I try to set a good example for my son. He gets a kick out of admitting to his peers that he’s never consumed soda. He’s not obnoxious about it. And they kind of look at him like he’s an alien. But he still enjoys it. He’s 10. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:40 PM Flag
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UB recommended the book the truth about cosmetic surgery and it talks about another book, you the manual. Anyone read it? Anyway, this plastic surgeon says the keys to healthy weight - when focused on WHAT to eat - are a bite or two of fat at first (fish? edamame? He's not a fan of dairy and meat, and fish only 3 times a week) and the rest of the time vegetables, fruit, whole grains... He also thinks half a glass to 2 glasses (for taller people, men) of wine is beneficial. IMHO that latter part is probably for being social? relationships? less stress? So less about what and more about the context. HTH [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 03:24 PM Flag
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Eat nothing containing flour [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:30 PM Flag
[ - ] What would be your preferred birthday gift? Something you will not spend money to get for yourself, but would love to receive. State your age please. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:12 PM Flag
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For years now, DH has been gong me a pop up book (I collect them). He’s good at finding them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:14 PM Flag
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Giving, not gong. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:16 PM Flag
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Very cool! Special, not extravagant, collectible, memorable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:34 PM Flag
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Those wicked good slippers from LL Bean. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:19 PM Flag
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60. Got a giant fruit and nut basket for my birthday, Wooo hoo [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:21 PM Flag
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:-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:51 PM Flag
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Why do you ask? I can't think of any reason my birthday gift wish list would be useful to anyone but my husband and closest friends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:27 PM Flag
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I see you're doing your daily listicle crowdsource. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:28 PM Flag
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Necklace with pendant. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:46 PM Flag
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56 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:46 PM Flag
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Cheese and salumi selection with honey and nuts. (cheesemonger mom, I just can't get enough of cheese!) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:52 PM Flag
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Museum membership or show tickets or gift card for my glass blowing classes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:58 PM Flag
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expensive wine. 50+ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:44 PM Flag
[ - ] NYC moms- would you let your DCs run through the sprinklers at the park today? DH thinks it’s too cold and they’ll get sick. 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:02 PM Flag
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Are they even on? Playground water was off when we went yesterday. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:03 PM Flag
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NP they were on at the parks near me yesterday. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:10 PM Flag
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Sprinklers shut down at our Brooklyn parks after Labor Day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:11 PM Flag
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They were on at Brooklyn bridge park yesterday. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:13 PM Flag
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I think there is an 80 degree rule. It’s not automatic. See Parks Dept website. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:15 PM Flag
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Op: they are on at playground in midtown west [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:17 PM Flag
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I wouldn’t. The weather has turned and it’s ripe for catching a cold. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:19 PM Flag
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If you get a cold it's bc school started and you're kid are indoors with others. Nothing about a 70 degree day sparks a cold. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:48 PM Flag
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The weather’s been so weird. Hot then cold then damp...I actually got sick this week as a result. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:58 PM Flag
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I wouldn’t. The weather has turned and it’s ripe for catching a cold. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:19 PM Flag
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No one gets sick and it's not that cold. Just dry them off later. Scandinavians believe cold is good to build your immune system. We let our kids nap in very cold conditions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:47 PM Flag
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Of course. PS, you don’t get sick from being moderately cold. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:08 PM Flag
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My kids are swimming in our (heated) outdoor pool today, so I would let them run in the sprinklers if they wanted. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:21 PM Flag
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Does your husband know how viruses are passed? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:48 PM Flag
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Seriously. It's an outdated old wives' tale that being cold gives you a cold; I'm so surprised that people continue to believe this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 06:25 PM Flag
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Visit Eastern Europe. Most people will tell you being cold will make you sick, you will catch meningitis if you stay with your hair wet or, God Forbid, go outside like that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 06:31 PM Flag
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Of course - it is summer weather and you get sick from germs, not being wet in 78 degree weather. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:19 PM Flag
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This is stupid on so many levels. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:09 PM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:45 PM Flag
[ - ] Lame complaint of the day. I hate the massage chairs at nail salons. They’re not relaxing and if you turn them off mid cycle you have a ball in your back. Is this just me and everyone else loves them? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:32 PM Flag
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I’ve never gotten an actual massage (and not interested) but when I’m in those chairs, I just tolerate them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:34 PM Flag
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Turn them on/off until the ball moves to a better spot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:35 PM Flag
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Me too. I tell the person doing my nails not to turn it on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:36 PM Flag
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I go to a nail salon that doesn't have them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:44 PM Flag
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I like them. There’s a few movements that aren’t comfortable but overall feels good bc my back is always so tight. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:12 PM Flag
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I love them, but if you don't like them just don't turn it on? Or as someone already said, just ask the nail technician not to turn it on before you even sit down. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:20 PM Flag
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I don’t enjoy them at all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:08 PM Flag
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I don't like them, so I don't activate them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:30 PM Flag
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I love them [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:45 PM Flag
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I love massages, but I've never cared for those chairs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:18 PM Flag
[ - ] will zyrtec make me drowsy? internet says different things. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:10 PM Flag
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I've never noticed that.It's once a day, so just take it in the early evening and see what happens [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:16 PM Flag
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Some allergy meds have the opposite reaction for me, FYI. Like Claritin keeps me wired and awake (can’t take it at night). Zyrtec has no effect on my sleep/sleepiness whatsoever. So maybe best bet is take it on a weekend, not necessarily close to bedtime. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:24 PM Flag
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Doesn’t make me drowsy. I take one each morning. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:18 PM Flag
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It has different effects on different people, like anything. Don't try anything for the first time where you need to be awake or have your wits about you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:19 PM Flag
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zyrtec makes me a bit drowsy (and hungry). (that said, allergies make me exhausted so the zyrtec is a bit better. If i need it, i take it at night. allegra and claritin don't. flonase is helpful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:24 PM Flag
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I'm the opposite. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:26 PM Flag
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It doesn’t bother me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:28 PM Flag
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Not supposed to, but I do. Very lethargic rather than sleepy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:28 PM Flag
[ - ] Thinking of doing a larger nightstand in one side of the bed, and a glass table on the other, would use the same lamps. Just works better in the room. Would it be better to do this or just have one nightstand? Could do the same lamps on either side. 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:04 PM Flag
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What works for you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:19 PM Flag
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I like the idea of a table at least on one side. It seems like you are supposed to have matched nightstands. But I thought a glass table would be different brought that it looks ok. Was considering round to make it very different. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:28 PM Flag
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It sounds fine to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:38 PM Flag
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NP. There is no "supposed to" - do what works for you. We have never had matching night stands/tables, I can't stand matchy matchy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:02 PM Flag
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Make it comfortable vs. what "works" design wise. Sounds fine in print. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:29 PM Flag
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Thanks! This is more comfortable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:29 PM Flag
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Different lamps if the tables are different imo [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:56 PM Flag
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Thanks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:01 PM Flag
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I'm not a big fan of symmetry, so I would prefer your layout better. Also it's better to do something that works for you functionally, signed architect. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:58 PM Flag
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Thanks. Would you do different lamps? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:01 PM Flag
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I would probably keep lamps the same to unify it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:03 PM Flag
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Op: that’s what I was thinking plus I already have the lamps! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:10 PM Flag
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If it is a guest room with 2 people sleeping in the bed, you NEED to have something on either side of the bed. Make sure they are the correct height. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:02 PM Flag
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It’s not a guest room [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:10 PM Flag
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If 2 people in the bed, you NEED to have something on either side of the bed. One nightstand does not cut it. Nowhere to put a lamp, clock, phone for charging, etc. One person will suffer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:09 PM Flag
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Op: I am single. His is why I am considering it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:38 PM Flag
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Curious: Are you. the one who has been posting nightstand questions all week? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:47 PM Flag
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Nope. That was someone else. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:01 PM Flag
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I’ve always heard the lamps in your room should all be as close to the same height as possible because the eye finds it more pleasing when it scans the room. So if the tables are different heights, this logic would suggest different sized lamps. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:53 PM Flag
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this, but try to have the tables be similar heights. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:19 AM Flag
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I think this sounds fine [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:45 PM Flag
[ - ] For the morning crowd: thoughts on Del Barton? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:19 PM Flag
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Oops didn’t mean to type it that way! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:21 PM Flag
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I went to college with some guys who went there a long time ago. From what I understand, it has a very good reputation academically. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:29 PM Flag
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np: Also a big sports school. The guys I now that went there from college were athletes. And very catholic as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:35 PM Flag
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Op: does anyone know how hard it is to get in? How hard are the suburban jersey day schools generally? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:46 PM Flag
[ - ] Collegiate School College advisors. Opinions? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:00 PM Flag
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well you win the award for niche question of the day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:24 PM Flag
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Exactly. I would guess they do a good job or they would be fired [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:42 PM Flag
[ - ] We live in the city and kids go to school here and DH wants to buy a “summer house” to use on weekends in Scarsdale. He just likes the town, has some friends there, and it’s an easy commute back and forth. The house we are looking at is $1.3m for 4br with finished basement and small backyard. Is this a crazy idea? 51 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:11 PM Flag
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How much is property tax? You can’t deduct that.. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:20 PM Flag
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Op: $30k [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:21 PM Flag
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Just move there! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:25 PM Flag
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Op: def don’t want to be there full-time [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:50 PM Flag
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I know a family with a summer place in Bedford. I would look for more of a country feeling myself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:22 PM Flag
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Agreed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:31 PM Flag
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I know a family in North Salem. I would never go to Scarsdale except the easy commute. Not for a weekend house. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 04:02 PM Flag
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Would you spend your whole summer there? I would suspect he’s working his way towards moving there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:31 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:31 PM Flag
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Me too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 04:02 PM Flag
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I would rather have more land and a pool. Just a little further out will get you much more. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:32 PM Flag
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Not at all. Many people do this. I live in Westport and a bunch of folks from the city own homes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:54 PM Flag
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np: This was my dream - DH wouldn't buy it :( [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:12 PM Flag
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odd place for a summer house [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:14 PM Flag
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That's what I was thinking. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:56 PM Flag
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personally I would go elsewhere than scarsdale - somewhere a bit more rural bc weird to have summer house in suburbs. For example bedford hills, westport, Redding ct are all lovely and a bit more of a contrast/ less of a suburb. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:19 PM Flag
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Westchester has crazy high property taxes. Connecticut seems better. I know folks who have weekend homes in Greenwich even. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:49 PM Flag
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np - but flipside is CT will try to tax your income because they'll say you're a state resident [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:50 PM Flag
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You can’t be taxed by two states. And if your kids go to school in NYC.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:02 PM Flag
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Not so. We have a house in East Lyme. Never been an issue. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:42 PM Flag
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Much less traffic in Westchester. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 04:03 PM Flag
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YES, it is a crazy idea. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:57 PM Flag
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It's crazy to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:31 PM Flag
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You rich! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:36 PM Flag
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I think if you could spend the whole summer there it might be worth it. Just weekends, probably not. We have a condo by the beach (1400 sq ft) where we live in the summer and a house in the burbs (2400 sq) where we live the rest of the year. They are 40 miles apart. I sometimes think we should flip that and live in a condo in the burbs and a big house by the beach. That way we could host lots of people in the summer. Our far flung friends would much rather come to the beach than the burbs to visit us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:49 PM Flag
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Also, houses in our beach town are 1/2 the price of houses in our suburb. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:50 PM Flag
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yep, lower schooling costs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:01 PM Flag
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What beach town? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:03 PM Flag
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What? Where is this cheap beach town, please?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:09 PM Flag
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yes, please answer this question! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:16 AM Flag
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Sorry...was away from the computer. We are not in NYC so probably not helpful. Our suburban house in 15 minutes outside of Boston and our beach house is in Gloucester MA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:10 PM Flag
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that is what we do- we have a beach house that we own and rent an apartment in Manhattan. To be fair this was initially driven by economics but works for us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:01 PM Flag
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Where is your beach house? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:16 AM UrbanBaby
  • Filter the conversation
 

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[ - ] How do snowbirds do it? I want to spend end of October through March in another location for better winter weather but sadly not excited by housing (feels like a trade off? better weather but worse home). Sign a lease for a year? furnish? sublet? fly out to do this or just arrange online? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:36 AM Flag
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Just buy a place. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 04:31 AM Flag
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+1, everyone I know who does this in Florida or Arizona just buys a house or condo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 04:55 AM Flag
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+2 unless you are wealthy enough to afford help with maintaining a property a condo is the way to go. The only maintenance we do is to pulldown the hurricane shutters, clean out the fridge and leave the place for months on end. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:11 AM Flag
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If I were to spend that long, I’d prob buy a place. When my kids were young, we spent feb in Miami Beach and rented for a month. When my husband retires and kids are gone, we will prob start spending 2 months of the winter (Jan and feb) somewhere warm. I already have 3 properties to maintain. I don’t want to deal w another, so we will rent. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:08 PM Flag
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I disagree with previous posters - rent first and then if you like the place, buy there. You could try out different parts of the country - New Mexico, Arizona, ocean side FL, gulf side FL, southern states, etc. Then buy a condo (not a whole house) in a place you really enjoyed spending a few months. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 04:33 PM Flag
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I would buy a condo so someone is maintaining the exterior. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:40 PM Flag
[ - ] Switched from private to public this year. So far, so good. Already feeling remorse about all the money we spent on private. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:59 AM Flag
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What grades are your kids in? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:02 AM Flag
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Third grade [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:06 AM Flag
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Are you in NYC? So two days of school . . . ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:06 AM Flag
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ikr [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:07 AM Flag
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well, it does stink to have that money gone, but you have started saving now. df moved kids when eldest was in 5th and youngest was in 1st and they are so so happy a few years later because it was a ton of money out the door. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:06 AM Flag
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We did the opposite this year. Switched from public to private (NYC) and happy so far. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:15 AM Flag
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What grade? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:08 PM Flag
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NP: so did we, also happy so far. 9th grade. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:30 PM Flag
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it's literally exactly the same as saying 'we switched from a dog to a cat this year and happy so far'. totally depends on the specifics and not necessarily applicable or helpful info beyond your family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:22 PM Flag
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BS [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:28 PM Flag
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Op: yes, this is true. Let me specify that my special snowflake child is probably less special and less snowflakey than yours, so will probably be fine with the public school masses. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:41 PM Flag
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You sound insufferable [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:47 PM Flag
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Just move forward. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:47 PM Flag
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We did the same: chalk it up to experience and think about all of the money for grades 4 - 12 that you'll save. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:20 PM Flag
[ - ] DH lectures me a lot. Today he spoke for 16 minutes straight about something he didn't want me to do (I timed it), without stopping. If I try to walk away, he follows me and keeps talking, saying I can't end the "conversation". Anyone else's DH like this? What to do? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:57 AM Flag
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Sounds like you're stone walling, and also being passive aggressive. You can't change others, only yourself, so I guess go to counselling and task the therapist to help yourself be assertive? kind? respectful? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:43 AM Flag
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just stand up for yourself. tell him that he's hurting your feelings because he doesn't respect your choices and you simply don't want to hear his lecture anymore. say everything calmly. leave the house if necessary. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:07 AM Flag
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What was the topic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:23 AM Flag
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This. That makes a big difference. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:21 AM Flag
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OP sounds like the same poster as this MP topic: http://www.urbanbaby.com/topics/55924940 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:24 PM Flag
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My dh tries to end discussions when he gets an answer he doesn’t want to hear, no matter how grounded in fact it is. Maybe your dh feels the same way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:59 PM Flag
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Are you much younger than him? 10+ years [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:48 PM Flag
[ - ] I have a friend who is really not doing well. She is barely holding on by a thread - her DH is chronically unemployed, she has to keep the family afloat. No one thinks they are rich. Her DH is very Status conscious though, hides his employment status, and want to project like he is a retired finance guy. No one believes it. Why does he do that? 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:10 AM Flag
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Because men define their worth thru employment. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:11 AM Flag
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This. Which is why women will thrive, and men will fail, as automation leads to universal basic income. Women have always defined their worth by what they contribute, to family and to community. Get ready for some hefty increases in men's suicides over the next 200 years. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:04 PM Flag
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She is part of the problem, she puts up with it and enables him to live the lie, she contributes to her own hell, sorry to say [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:27 AM Flag
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So she should just tell everyone? I am the only one outside of her immediate family who she confides in. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:43 AM Flag
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No, she should get a divorce; she is working and doing all she can to live a normal life, he is not, why stay with him? Look what it's doing to her, this is not about who she shares her problems with, this is about solving her problems, for her sakes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:48 AM Flag
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He's embarrassed. Ashamed of being unemployed or underemployed, with no chance of regaining his former employment status. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:44 AM Flag
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That’s obvious, but he’s not fooling anyone, so it’s kind of pointless. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:46 AM Flag
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What do you want him to do? Their misfortune seems to make you feel superior. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:21 AM Flag
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No. She is great but I almost have disdain for what he’s doing to her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:55 AM Flag
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That’s his coping mechanism for very high anxiety and pressure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:37 AM Flag
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No one in your circle believes it but he knows a ton of other people casually who I’m sure believe it. You would be amazed at what people believe and it is easy to become addicted to the casual respect that comes from people thinking you are successful [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:41 AM Flag
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im fucking a married guy like that [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:44 AM Flag
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What an ass. How do you cope? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:57 AM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:06 AM Flag
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you then are a double loser- cheating with a married loser [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:03 AM Flag
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This, it’s bad enough to be married to that kind of loser. Why would you fuck him if you didn’t have to? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 06:02 PM Flag
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omg. no one thinks they are rich. that is SO AWFUL. the shame. she is lucky to have you as a friend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:22 PM Flag
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I think OP's point was that the DH pretends they are/tries to imply that they are when it's clear that's not the case, not that nobody thinks they are. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:37 PM Flag
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Let's stop making excuses for the dude. He's a grown ass man who wants the luxuries and status of life without working for it. Fucking arrested development and hasn't matured since he turned 16. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:06 PM Flag
[ - ] I drive everywhere in my car, as I live in the burbs. I drive to and from work and drive the kids around all weekend. I want nothing more than a really nice, roomy SUV. I wonder whether I should splurge. I don’t have that much money. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:05 AM Flag
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Look at used ones. Set a realistic budget and stick to it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:23 AM Flag
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If your present car is serviceable, drive it. Start saving toward the suv, maybe a used one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:24 AM Flag
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I can’t even save money. Can’t afford a used contemporary one (it’s still around $25k). I mean I could use my entire bonus for it but I would think that it’s irresponsible. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:42 AM Flag
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Then why are you even contemplating buying any car? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:00 PM Flag
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I drive my car all the time in the city. I’m happy w the space in my minivan. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:43 AM Flag
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I hear what you're saying. I have a perfectly serviceable car with just about enough space, but during those drives/hanging out in parking lots waiting for kids to come out from practices, etc, I have wished for a more luxurious car to do so in. BUT, not in the budget, and not worth sacrificing for, IMO. With eyes closed and podcast playing I just imagine that I'm in a Lexus SUV or whatever :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:39 PM Flag
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Get a 7 year old, well maintained Honda Pilot. You can get financing for a car up to seven years old. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:51 PM Flag
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This. My brother bought my parents a 13 year old, immaculately maintained Honda Odessey with all the upgrades. Even though it's an old car, it feels very luxurious since it's so big and clean and has the leather seats, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:18 PM Flag
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If you don't have much money, no, you should not be buying luxuries. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:07 PM Flag
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I have kids and a small hatchback (Nissan Versa Note) that I appreciate. I love large vehicles but I became used to the car's smaller size and gas savings. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:19 PM Flag
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I don't get the appeal of SUVs. You know they are much less safe than sedans, right? I think the height makes people feel safe, but it's an illusion. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:30 AM Flag
[ - ] I bought a Tom Ford clutch in London and after trying it out in the store they switched it for a "fresh" one at the last minute. Back in NY... I open the package and the metal strap is completely not attached to the harness and it's missing the metal piece that would hold it together. I took the bag into Tom Ford on Madison and they said not only do I have to pay for the repair, it will likely take months while they order the super special metal piece from Italy. Where do people go in Manhattan for metal work??? I know leather is the Leather Spa. So disappointed as I've never bought anything from TF before. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:11 AM Flag
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You should do a chargeback via your credit card for defective product. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:25 AM Flag
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ooh, nice one! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:28 AM Flag
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Thank you. Great idea. I hope I put it on Amex... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:31 AM Flag
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Still would like to know where to go for metal work though! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:32 AM Flag
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You should be able to do this with any credit card. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:43 AM Flag
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That's likely a 1K+ purchase. Their treatment of you is insane. I would be camped out doing a fully on temper tantrum [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:37 AM Flag
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You are correct so I feel very stupid and simultaneously annoyed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:41 AM Flag
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NP ugh I hate that feeling :( sorry [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:47 AM Flag
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That's like saying Target should treat her special for spending $20. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:10 PM Flag
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Why don’t you phone the store in London and make a big stink? Send pics, etc? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:43 AM Flag
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+ you should be able to ship back to them at their cost and they should be able to ship you a new one. I hope you got VAT back!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:58 AM Flag
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Yeah, call London store, and stop the charge on your card. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:42 AM Flag
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Post it on their Twitter, include pics. They will respond. GL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:04 AM Flag
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Not this. So childish. This is not a problem that needs to be broadcast to the general public. You give the store in London a chance to remedy the situation. If they don't, then you dispute the charge on your credit card which gives them another chance to remedy the situation. The problem is with quality control at Tom Ford, so why blast the London store? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:13 PM Flag
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The general public is not following Tom Ford's twitter. Tom Ford is. Corporate twitter accounts are exactly for complaints to give them a chance to remedy the situation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:11 PM Flag
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just tweet the issue at them and they'll fix it. social media shame is a powerful tool. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:23 PM Flag
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Use the receipt and disputed the charge. Have the store in London respond. I have had a problem with Ferragamo shoes bought in Italy and got a tremendous response from them. Same once with Longchamp wallet I bought while in Paris. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:41 PM Flag
[ - ] How long should a screenplay synopsis be? 3 pages or less? Tia 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:09 AM Flag
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depends on who you are sending it to - an agent? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:38 AM Flag
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Yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:06 PM Flag
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He asked for it. I actually just sent it after googling. It was 2 pages (700 words which is probably too long). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:07 PM Flag
[ - ] 7 year old DD is still spelling her name backwards sometimes, spelling 3 and 5s the wrong direction, things like this. I asked at public school and they said they think she's fine. Should I get an outside assessment? At what age is this a problem? 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:56 PM Flag
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I think she is fine. 7 yo DS reverses his S, 5 and prob some other letters. You have to keep correcting and ask her to look for examples on the sheet so she self corrects [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:00 AM Flag
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This. Have her write 100 of each letter and number every week, and 10 of her name every day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:25 PM Flag
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if she can read well in general, it's probably fine. if she's struggling to read, then worth getting a dyslexia test. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:01 AM Flag
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My ds needed OT for handwriting because he was still needing to think about how to form certain letters when he was 8. The school didn't find this, we had to work with an private pediatric OT. That is the best money we ever spent, and we have had our kids in a ton of activities over the years. We had her help him with his problems and then also teach him cursive. Public schools don't teach handwriting anymore. I wish I had started my ds earlier because he had to unlearn a lot which made it harder. I don't know if your dd needs it or not. I would look for a pediatric OT who uses the Handwriting Without Tears curriculum. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:06 AM Flag
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Also contrary to pp above, my ds had zero problems with reading. He was reversing the b and d for example. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:07 AM Flag
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I forgot, she also taught him to touch type. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:10 AM Flag
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ok cool. i will look into that. she can read pretty well, not flawlessly, obviously. but there's lots of times she sees otto and says toto! or evil and says level! it just seems like her eye is going to the wrong word. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:34 AM Flag
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My ds did not have this but it could be normal. My ds could do normal fine motor stuff like legos, but he had undxed fine motor problem. Something to remember is that the range of normal is large at this age and the school isn't going to notice kids who are not huge outliers. But this is your child and early intervention means that the correction will take a lot less time. I would call around for an eye doctor who does testing for kids who need vision therapy but maybe does not do vision therapy themselves. Vision therapy is a little controversial (some people say it is unnecessary) but I know a reading specialist whose did everything to help her dd and in the end what helped was vision therapy. So YMMV. My kids' eye doctor screened for it and said my kids did not need it. I have another friend (another teacher) who found someone to do it for her child and she drove 45 min each way once a week to get it for her child. It is hard to find eye doctors trained in it. GL. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:41 AM Flag
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Also I would get a private evaluation for dyslexia. I know it will be expensive but I know FIVE families in my area who had to get a private dx for dyslexia because the school districts (two different ones) would not test their kids for it. Some of the kids were not dxed until 3rd and 4th grade! GL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:43 AM Flag
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Or you could wait and see if she struggles next year... the really painful thing is that the later the kids are dxed the more they internalize that they are not good at this stuff and it does a number on their self esteem. I don't know how your dd is doing and she may be on track, but maybe someone else reading is in a similar situation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:44 AM Flag
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FYI something like 15-20% of people have language based learning disabilities, so odds are good that if not your dd, someone else reading has a child in this situation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:50 AM Flag
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Past age 7 could be an issue. I would have her evaluated for dyslexia or other visual processing issue because if so you'd want to get her help early. https://www.understood.org/en/learning-attention-issues/child-learning-disabilities/dyslexia/faqs-about-reversing-letters-writing-letters-backwards-and-dyslexia [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:33 AM Flag
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np--My understanding is that dyslexia is an aural processing disorder. It's about not hearing the distinctions in sounds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:12 AM Flag
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This is find still at her age (called mirror writing) . You could get someone to give you a different dx but what's the point? Just wait a year. I'm sure by then it will have resolved. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:25 AM Flag
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https://cpb-us-w2.wpmucdn.com/campuspress.yale.edu/dist/a/1215/files/2015/11/Brennan2013-125jbzh.pdf ("13% of 7 years old still do it"). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:27 AM Flag
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I'm surprised no one is asking this but difficult name? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:55 AM Flag
[ - ] DD can't find her calculator (last used in June) or water bottle (came back from camp in mid-August). Any thoughts on where they might be? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:26 PM Flag
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They are still in her bag or backpack. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:33 PM Flag
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How do I have a drawer just for calculators and a shelf just for water bottles? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:35 PM Flag
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Big house? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:25 AM Flag
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define big? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:56 AM Flag
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My DS found his calculator in his backpack from last year when he was cleaning it out to donate it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:35 PM Flag
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My dd's calculator was always either on the floor of the car under the passenger seat or slipped between couch cushions [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:37 PM Flag
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School and camp [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:16 PM Flag
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This is where it would be with my dd. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:25 AM Flag
[ - ] Which would you think was a better investment? 1090 sqft 3br/1ba single family home monthly cost of $4069 (principal & interest, property taxes, and home ins.)-$698k asking price? Or a 1,032 sqft 1bd/1ba condo with a monthly cost of $3835 (principal & interest, property taxes, home ins, and HOA)-$568k asking? 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:06 PM Flag
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How do the locations compare? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:06 PM Flag
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The three bedroom's neighborhoodscout crime index is 32, with 100 being the safest. The one bedroom's is 20. The three bedroom's great school ratings are 2/10 for the elementary, 2/10 for the middle, and 8/10 for the high school. The one bedroom's is 9/10, 8/10, and 6/10. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:18 PM Flag
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I don't know what any of that means and doubt it's how anyone picks where he or she wants to live. You could be comparing the terrible Lower East Side with bucolic Sioux Falls, South Dakota. But I bet the LES apartment will appreciate more. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:21 PM Flag
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They're both in the same region of the bay area. And, yes, families in the suburbs care about the great school ratings, but I just don't think that matters if it's a one-bedroom. The neighborhood the one bedroom is in looks safer than the three bedroom's neighborhood. It's just closer to San Francisco, so that's probably why the crime is higher. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:35 PM Flag
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I agree that school statistics matter little for a 1 bedroom, other than the fact that a good school creates housing demand, which causes higher prices, which causes a higher income neighborhood, which creates a higher end business environment i.e. ripple effect. I would venture that this is a classic apples and oranges scenario. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:13 PM Flag
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list the neighborhoods and I'll weigh in. In general, single family homes are usually a safer investment in the Bay Area. Will you be living there and do oyu have kids in school? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:28 PM Flag
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+1 House is usually better. I think it is because Prop 13 makes it better to remodel than to sell and buy something bigger, and you can't do that with a condo. Also a 1 bdrm is a problem. With 2 or 3 bedrooms you can rent to people who are professionals but have to have roommates because it is so expensive there. With a 1 bedroom you are limited to just single people or couples. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:33 PM Flag
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The one bedroom is in South San Francisco and the three bedroom is in East Palo Alto. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 06:51 AM Flag
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My take: East Palo Alto is a long bet. It will probably gentrify but not overnight. Many buyers will be scared off by the name. The schools are terrible. SSF will appreciate (or not) along with the broader market. I know which area you’re talking about based on the schools — it’s great for commuting to the city. Not far from Genentech and YouTube (though EPA is close to Facebook). The weather isn’t as good as EPA (fog). I guess it depends on whether you plan to live in or rent out the properties while you wait for them to appreciate. (And if that’s your main goal — don’t buy now. The market is definitely softening but it’s still as expensive as it ever was.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:33 PM Flag
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I live in the Bay Area. Where are you talking about? For those prices, assuming East Bay? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:44 AM Flag
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No, Peniinsula. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 06:52 AM Flag
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Many properties are still selling over asking down here. Just FYI. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:35 PM Flag
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In the bay area, in the last downturn, the one bedrooms were very hard to sell. You couldn't give them away. HTH [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:23 PM Flag
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OR of course this is a slight exaggeration. But keep in mind that it will still be pretty crowded. I would not do the condo. It will never appreciate as much as the house will there. Many bay area suburbs have school of choice with magnet schools and there are inexpensive parochial (Catholic) schools. With a house, people can buy it and add on a bathroom or add a second floor (although now it is crazy expensive there in the Bay Area to do that, have friends who just got bids back) but you can't do that with a condo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:27 PM Flag
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by crowded I mean that people do squeeze 5 people or more in to one bedroom condos so the complex itself will be crowded. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:28 PM Flag
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Would you still say that knowing the house is in East Palo Alto? I would assume the places that get hit the hardest in a downturn are the ones no one wanted to live in if they could afford anything better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:42 PM Flag
[ - ] Oh man, I so wanted Serena to win. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:05 PM Flag
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me too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:05 PM Flag
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Me three [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:07 PM Flag
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Me four [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:09 PM Flag
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me too. Bianca played great, though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:07 PM Flag
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O Canada! Very happy that Bianca won. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:16 PM Flag
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So wonderful! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:44 PM Flag
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me too. At 19 too. wow! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:57 AM Flag
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I love Serena but she had her time and now some young women will start women. This is how it works in sports. She is amazing though: [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:26 AM Flag
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Start winning not women [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:27 AM Flag
[ - ] is a Disney cruise in December a bad idea (too cold?) we have been trying to plan one but December is the only window that works for us.. while the option exists, I wonder if it's just too cold 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:59 PM Flag
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Out of Florida it's fine. We're taking one out of NYC in October, and that's going to be a bit iffy. Have done two from Port Canaveral, both in March -- outstanding. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:00 PM Flag
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^^P.S. Transatlantic probably not a good idea either. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:00 PM Flag
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They do Christmas festivities really well [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:48 AM Flag
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elaborate? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:57 AM Flag
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The decor, the theme, etc. Friends did a Nov cruise last year and their pics looked magical. Their 4 yo girls loved it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 04:14 AM Flag
[ - ] How many new spots does Fieldston have for 6th grade typically? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 09.07.19, 09:52 PM Flag
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They used to have this on their website. It was a pretty small number, if I remember correctly--maybe around 15? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:39 AM Flag
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Thanks. Couldn't find it on the website. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:03 PM Flag
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My son started in sixth grade (graduated two years ago) and was one of maybe 20-25 new students [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:18 AM Flag
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Thanks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:03 PM Flag
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I heard lots of families in the middle school are trying to leave; that should open more spots. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:33 PM Flag
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where are they going to go? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 07:00 PM Flag
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Why is that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 11:09 AM Flag
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10 spots for boys available the year we applied, so 20 total? Give or take? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 05:24 PM Flag
[ - ] That crowd is amazing!!!!!! 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:43 PM Flag
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Indeed [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:47 PM Flag
[ - ] Newbie here----I am going through the online independent school applications. When I get to the parent statements---I am copy pasting into a word doc so I can draft and then go back and paste in. Here's my question, when I get to these--my options are to save/return later or Next. Next doesn't allow you to skip to the next section but instead requires you to paste something in the box. And when you hit next you see that it says "submitting". So is there a way to bypass the parents essay and keep going to see what else might be required? Thanks! 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 09.07.19, 09:39 PM Flag
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It is submitting to be saved. Application won’t be submitted until you pay the fee. Once you do the electronic signature page, it gives you a chance to review the entire thing before moving to the fee payment. You can enter anything and move on. However, parent statements that I’ve seen are all either on one page or a separate entry (in addition to the application). So if the parent statement is part of the application, the rest is likely just final details and electronic signatures. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:24 AM Flag
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Also, forgot to mention that you can also go back once you see the draft application and enter your final statement(s)/edit. Until you pay the fee, it is a work in progress. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:26 AM Flag
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Thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:03 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone going to register for the Boston Marathon this week? If you've run it before, what hotel did you stay at? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:30 PM Flag
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Stay at the Lenox, you're already home as soon as you cross the finish line. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:32 PM Flag
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Wonderful -- thank you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:36 PM Flag
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It's decently inexpensive considering it's a city and its location, $400 a night. But, you are also running the marathon, so if you can't treat yourself then I don't know when you would do it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:08 PM Flag
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Haha so true! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:10 AM Flag
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The Taj is not too far. The rooms are not as swanky as other hotels in the area but the staff is dreamy nice and I am sure they'd fall all over you if you are in the marathon. Then the park is right there for a brief stroll in the morning. I'm sure all you'l really want is a comfy bed and they are that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:50 AM Flag
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Thank you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:07 PM Flag
[ - ] Hi! In your opinion, what are the best 5-6 preschools in the city? We are new to the city, so I'd really appreciate you feedback. We are looking to apply for 2020, my child will be three years old. 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Preschool/Kids 09.07.19, 09:18 PM Flag
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Where do you live? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:26 PM Flag
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OP here: We live in midtown, but would not mind moving to another area on Manhattan or to the Bronx if our child gets accepted into a great preschool [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:33 PM Flag
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This must be a joke. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:35 PM Flag
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Why? It is not [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:37 PM Flag
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Unless you have tons of money. Most are doing UPrek and not moving to Bronx to be able to afford private [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:35 PM Flag
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I did not mean we'd move to Bronx to afford private, I meant schools location. I actually only mentioned Bronx because of Horace Mann, but then I realized their nursery is on Manhattan [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:03 PM Flag
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Move to Riverdale! We have great preschools - and easy to get in! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:35 AM Flag
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Kept mine home until K. Best preschool ever -- 1:1 ratio of teacher to child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:53 PM Flag
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I'm surprised this URL is big enough to house your ego :P [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 04:03 AM Flag
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Go to a preschool that is close to where you live. The "best" preschools are filled with kids who are legacies to the top schools. Those schools won't take a ton of kids from the same preschool. Kids don't need to be at the "best" preschool. They just need enrichment and socialization. Which preschools provide. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:54 PM Flag
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"Best" is really subjective, it depends on what you like. What was best for me was not what was best for my friend, and we're each happy with our choices. And I wouldn't move to be near a good preschool. I'd move to get into a good zoned public. Preschool goes by in a flash. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:10 PM Flag
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smart answer. and, I'll add so does k-2, so when applying to public, consider that. most early childhood educators are great, and it's very easy to apply out of district for a different elementary by 1st or 2nd as the space opens up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:15 PM Flag
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This is excellent advice - at both public and private. Lots of spaces open up, and you can apply to schools out of zone [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:44 AM Flag
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If you live in midtown. I would do.... 1) St Bart’s 2) Christ Church - new director this year , but they hired within and she is great 3) All Souls 4) REDS 5) STMPG 6) Garden House [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:26 AM Flag
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Thank you! That's very helpful! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:08 AM Flag
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If you live in midtown. I would do.... 1) St Bart’s 2) Christ Church - new director this year , but they hired within and she is great 3) All Souls 4) REDS 5) STMPG 6) Garden House [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:26 AM Flag
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Best based on what? Commute? Class size? Academics? Time outside? Truly unstructured vs “inspired” free play? Religious influence? Exmissions? Value for money by hour? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:31 AM Flag
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I feel like class size is the same in most preschools on Manhattan, not sure if it's true. Probably based on how much the children actually learn there, so yes, academics. And exmissions matter for us as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:12 AM Flag
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teacher: student ratios fixed by DOH law [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:22 PM Flag
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Yeah, the minimums are. But my daughter’s (private) preK had four teachers for 20 kids. That was nice. And not Doe mandated. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:06 PM Flag
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UB used to live for this stuff. Remember all the lists of TT preschools and the "pull" their PSDs had? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:54 PM Flag
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The old TT list is in this 2002 New York Magazine article (which weirdly has omitted the actual names): http://nymag.com/nymetro/urban/education/features/n_8067/ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:07 PM Flag
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Thank you!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:05 PM Flag
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This article is odd to read in 2019...Harvey Weinstein and "Donald and Ivana Trump" are listed as prominent parents at various schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:47 PM Flag
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92nd St Y, Episcopal, Brick Church, All Souls, PAC (RIP), West Side Montessori, etc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:37 PM Flag
[ - ] Is there a store or service that both delivers and installs medicine cabinets ? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:58 PM Flag
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I don't know that it's a market on its own. I would call handyman services and see what they're comfortable with. My handyman replaced a door (not in NYC though). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:03 PM Flag
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for something like that, we've ordered via Amazon and then had a handyman install. our guy will let us send to his place (we're not home during the day and we don't have a doorman). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:16 PM Flag
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Try Smolka on East 33rd [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:55 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone else love kids going back to school. Have found it so fun to catch up with everyone, see all of our friends in school, etc 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:49 PM Flag
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Yes, love it. Kids love it too actually. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:10 PM Flag
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++ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:25 PM Flag
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Nope. Hate the hw [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:28 PM Flag
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Why do you hate homework? My kids do their hw independently and it does not affect me. How does it affect you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:32 PM Flag
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It utterly destroys family time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:39 PM Flag
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I see. My kids are done before I get home from work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:08 PM Flag
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My guess is they are young [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:08 AM Flag
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MS and HS [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:28 AM Flag
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How is this possible? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:35 AM Flag
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such BS [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:21 AM Flag
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I love it for another reason: DD is at a sleepover tonight, so DH and I can go out to dinner somewhere that doesn't have a kids' menu. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:54 PM Flag
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Parenting fail [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:49 AM Flag
[ - ] What’s delbarton like? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:38 PM Flag
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GO SERENA!!!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:46 PM Flag
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Wrong post? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:38 PM Flag
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You mean the all boys school in NJ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:45 AM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:57 AM Flag
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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

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Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Is Serena going to win?!?!? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.07.19, 08:24 PM Flag
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She's been playing great. I'm hoping the crowd helps her overcome any pressure based nerves. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:26 PM Flag
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me too- that was just an amazing overhead. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:27 PM Flag
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yes, and getting to the drop shot first. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:28 PM Flag
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I hope so. The other girl is hitting really well. I always get so nervous!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:30 PM Flag
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I've been following Bianca the whole two weeks. Really enjoyed her playing, but she has a lifetime. I want to see Serena win this one in NY. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:30 PM Flag
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Agreed. Love that Markle is here for her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:31 PM Flag
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I dont know what to think about Markle.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:34 PM Flag
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+1 and that's being nice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:35 PM Flag
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who cares. she's her friend and she's supporting Serena. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:38 PM Flag
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It probably goes both ways. She flew below Serena’s radar before Harry [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:02 PM Flag
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Markle is there for herself. Loves suddenly being an A-lister and getting the attention and adoration. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:48 PM Flag
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I dub you Tennis mom [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:00 PM Flag
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it's a Russian troll [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:29 PM Flag
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OP here. Actually a NYC mom who loves tennis! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:10 PM Flag
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A troll dropped in on your thread, then :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:13 PM Flag
[ - ] Any recommendations for flats that are dressy enough for weddings? Heels and I just don't get along. Looking for something metallic, or nude if dressy enough. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:20 PM Flag
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Valentino? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:22 PM Flag
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Rene Caovila [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:32 PM Flag
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Would these work? https://www.colehaan.com/tali-modern-bow-ballet-nude-leather/701937742697.html?71700000045363566;s.a=GOOGLE;p.a=71700000045363566;as.a=58700004662825236;c.n=PLA_Brand_Density;p.n=PLA_Brand_Density;as.n=PLA_Brand_Density_Men;qpb=1;&bidkw=PRODUCT_GROUP&dvc=c%26lsft%3Dadtype:pla,channel:online&gclsrc=aw.ds&&gclid=Cj0KCQjwqs3rBRCdARIsADe1pfSe5d9L1vIG9Uw3oPUX5L07cCXFUOR3FBbun7YGDXTcRy9XB4dgebwaAqg0EALw_wcB [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:31 PM Flag
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Sorry for the crazy long link! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:41 PM Flag
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I think those look a little business-like, BUT honestly, nobody is going to be really looking at your feet, and they are pretty. If you like them and also would wear them afterward, why not? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:58 PM Flag
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Stuart Weitzman [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:49 PM Flag
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I will be reviled, but look at Clarks. I have a pair of their gold tone flats -- well there is a 1/2" heel that is pretty wide like a loafer heel -- that I have worn to work parties where I needed go be on the go the whole time. Got a number of compliments and not one side eye from the chi-chi crew. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:23 AM Flag
[ - ] Going to London for the first time in a very long time. If I leave my phone on airplane mode, can I get by on just using wifi to check email and text? Or should I set something up with my carrier to avoid roaming charges? I have Verizon. Thanks. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:18 PM Flag
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Verizon costs 10 a day extra in London. Might be worth it to just have what you need. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:20 PM Flag
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op. you're totally right. I'm weirdly cheap about things like this. thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:27 PM Flag
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I can be that way too. I think that is totally worth it though. It does not kick in unless you use the service in a particular day. You don't have to commit to the whole week, so just go day by day and connect when you need it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:30 PM Flag
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I always just use wifi, especially if on vacation [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:50 PM Flag
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I always get international service for when I travel - do it - you'll need it. we do try to use wifi as much as possible of course. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:18 PM Flag
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All carriers have a daily international option. ATT just extends whatever you have domestically to International (so if you are unlimited data at home, you would be in London). Especially travelling I like to have data in case I get lost. Frankly, especially in London, where I go more often than other cities, but not enough to explore without getting lost! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:29 AM Flag
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Just buy a new SIM card at the airport. It's $20. Then use wifi at hotel. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:37 AM Flag
[ - ] SISTERHOOD!!!! GO SERENA!!! 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:04 PM Flag
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Yes!!!! Goooooo Serena! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:16 PM Flag
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Yes! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:19 PM Flag
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Loved it! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:30 PM Flag
[ - ] What do you think of a man who describes himself as a lovable rogue? 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:56 PM Flag
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The guy I knew who used to talk like this about himself was about 300lbs and died in his sleep last year [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:04 PM Flag
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Trying to cover insecurity with humor [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:04 PM Flag
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He’s an asshole and he knows it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:24 PM Flag
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What makes him a rogue? Probably nothing good. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:03 PM Flag
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can't keep pecker in pants [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:25 PM Flag
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or in trouble with the law. Maybe he was arrested for public intoxication or lewdness. What a scamp! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:29 PM Flag
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Scamp? That's tough talk, sister. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:41 PM Flag
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Scamp is a euphemism for boys will be boys. You're bound to be disappointed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:14 PM Flag
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She was a vamp a tramp and a bit of a scamp ... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:15 PM Flag
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...she was a V ... A ... M ... Peeeeee, ... NP. I'm old. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:54 PM Flag
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Time Traveler mom? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:21 PM Flag
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I think that when people tell you about themselves it's smart to listen. He's saying: I'm charismatic and unreliable (at best, maybe even untrustworthy) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:15 PM Flag
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He’s a rake or a cad, but downplaying it so as not to induce vapors. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:52 PM Flag
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Long as he's not a ram-cat or a rakehell. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:57 PM Flag
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He realizes that his behavior is no longer acceptable (sexist jokes maybe, or ordering the women in his life around, or sleeping whith whoever he wants to whenever he wants to while still expecting a hot meal at home), doesn't want to change himself and so is trying to dress it up in some kind of romantic bullshit [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:31 AM Flag
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Drinking problem. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:33 PM Flag
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That he wishes he were Tom Jones or Colonel Flashman, but isn't. Be careful. -HM [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:25 PM Flag
[ - ] I felt it was so annoying when some parents at DC’s preschool ask if we are going anywhere for holidays etc. I felt this was kind of nosy. If one shares it then fine but I wouldn’t ask such personal questions. It also seemed like a way to brag about their own vacations. Is it just me or anyone else feel same way.I’m self-employed so I don’t plan ahead, but I usually go away for months on a whim, so it’s different from employee-mentality who has to plan ahead and let the company they work for that they will be off this day etc. 28 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:16 PM Flag
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Oh good lord. You do need to feel superior don't you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:23 PM Flag
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People are just making conversation. It is fun to talk about holidays. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:23 PM Flag
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I'm very reserved and private, and even I wouldn't consider "what do you have planned over the break" to be a "personal question." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:24 PM Flag
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lol. agree with this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:28 PM Flag
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Oh my god, we’re all going to die! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:26 PM Flag
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Wait, what holidays? Are people actually talking about Christmas already? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:35 PM Flag
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That’s small talk. Not prying into your personal life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:37 PM Flag
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I think some people meant to be small talk, some of them really nosy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:40 PM Flag
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The problem however, is when the receiving party views everything as an affront. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:42 PM Flag
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your Take is just ridiculous I’m sorry. I don’t really care if you’re going anywhere. It’s small talk. I’m not judging you or your budget. When did everyone get so sensitive to every question. It’s the same as what kind of work do you do? Blows my mind that these questions are offensive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:44 PM Flag
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The work question is offensive because it's tantamount to asking "how much money do you have and where do you get it." It's also so insufferably dull to talk about work -- one's own or others'. Surely you can think of a more interesting conversational gambit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:58 PM Flag
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The work question is not offensive. It’s a way that people can discover what they might have in common. I can’t imagine asking someone what they do to get a sense of what they make - who would do that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:03 PM Flag
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You should tell them just that. "I can go away for months on a whim so I don't plan vacations when school is out and all the proles are on 'vacation.' (Air quotes). I just don't have that enployee mentality." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:51 PM Flag
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Yes. Do this OP! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:52 PM Flag
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Yes! She will make friends quickly [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:54 PM Flag
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Yes! separating the wheat from the chaff [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:26 PM Flag
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Which is which? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:58 PM Flag
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Small. Talk. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:11 PM Flag
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Dcs are 6 and 3 and we’ve never gone away during any spring break because the times just haven’t worked out for us and I ask people what they’re doing. I’m friendly and chat with people and it’s pretty much the same as asking how was your weekend. You’re way too sensitive [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:15 PM Flag
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Is Lilly back in the room? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:21 PM Flag
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I kr. People without trust funds just don't *understand*! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:44 PM Flag
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Vacation plans are official permissible small talk subject, no different from the weather. You are over sensitive for personal reasons. Just babble a list of places you might like to go. Nobody is really listening. Or say, haven’t decided yet, any suggestions? And then let them babble about all the places they have been or want to go to. Done. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:36 PM Flag
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yeah, if vacations are out, what safe small talk subject is there? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:09 PM Flag
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This. My hairdresser ask me about vacation at some point during every visit. She has no particular interest in my vacation plans. Just small talk. She asks me, I ask her in return, we compare likes/ dislikes, best/ worst, fun places we hear our friends are going. It passes the time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:43 PM Flag
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My hairdresser has a beautiful photo of a resort at her station, and I think I've asked her three times where it is. I ask but don't care enough to remember, and she explains every time without seeming to remember she told me before. It passes the time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:59 PM Flag
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Is this fake? I really hope there aren't many out there like you, how miserable! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:01 PM Flag
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It's just small talk. NBD [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:17 PM Flag
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It’s called small talk. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:18 PM Flag
[ - ] Dinner tonight, my friend's DH is trying to set me up with one of his friends. Weirdly nervous about it! It's like a date, but with an audience! 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:41 PM Flag
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I would feel the same way. I hope it goes well, did your friend tell you anything about the guy ? You need another woman's opinion ! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:43 PM Flag
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He's been friends with her DH since college, but after college he moved. She said he has the same dry sense of humor that I do and we both like cooking. He has a dog. She's big on details, obviously. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:20 PM Flag
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Good luck! I think that would make me less nervous, fwiw, but I know normal people agree with you. Twice I've fixed people up with each other, and both times I offered to do a double date for their first meeting, but they declined. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:23 PM Flag
[ - ] If you received an expensive birthday gift from your dh that you really didn't like much, would you ask him to return it ? 32 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:36 PM Flag
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I suppose it depends what it is but yes have returned plenty gifts as gotten me. He means well but doesn’t always get it right and better to exchange and get something we are both happy with [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:38 PM Flag
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OP; here is the situation. My dh gave me two birthday gifts: a new ipad ( I guess I can use this but I'm not really excited about it, feel like my iphone and laptop have me covered ) and an Apple Pencil which I have no interest in. I have been trying unsuccessfully to get into a new career after staying home, and since I have no income, I rarely treat myself. I would really like to spend an equal amount of money on clothes and shoes rather than this unneeded technical stuff. Can I say that without sounding ungrateful ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:41 PM Flag
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I thought that too until I received an iPad for Christmas...I can’t love w/o it now. My laptop is like a one ton dinosaur compared to my iPad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:45 PM Flag
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Op here: yes, I have had two ipads in the past, so I get it. My last one died a year ago and I do not miss it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:46 PM Flag
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^ I think it really depends on how you spend your time and lifestyle type stuff. For me personally, I can't really use my software on an ipad so its only good for reading / facebook and I don't have time for that much [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:48 PM Flag
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So funny. I absolutely never thought I wanted an iPad. My dh gave me one one Christmas and it’s become like an extension of my hand. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:58 PM Flag
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Are these gifts a real financial stretch for you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:51 PM Flag
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I don't have any income of my own right now so I don't feel comfortable dropping 700-800 on myself (I am frugal, and a saver). As a result, I can't stop thinking about what I would *want* if I had this much money to spend on myself. And I would want new clothes and shoes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:56 PM Flag
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To clarify - I feel like if a person is going to spend that much money, it should be something they REALLY want. Not feel "meh" about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:57 PM Flag
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You know your DH better than we do, but if he really thought he was providing you something useful as you get back to work and it’s a. On-issue financially, he could be hurt if you want to return them for a jacket and pair of shoes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:04 PM Flag
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These are intended for personal use. He is a tech guy and he likes this stuff. I was always interested in fashion so thats what I like. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:18 PM Flag
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I don’t think he’ll be offended. Definitely return the pencil. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:54 PM Flag
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Absolutely. You don't have to be insulting when you do it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:45 PM Flag
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Op here: what would you say ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:46 PM Flag
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The apple pencil is $130 and I have been wearing the same sneakers for 3 years because I'm trying to stick to a budget. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:50 PM Flag
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My dh actually returned a gift he got me one Xmas (knife set) b/c he found he could get it a lot cheaper somewhere else. After I oohed and ahh'd about it, he packed it up and in a few days we got the less expensive one, ha ha. He's a good guy. I like his thriftyness. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:00 PM Flag
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No way. Rude. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:11 PM Flag
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^That said, we establish our budget jointly, and there's no way the price of an iPad would make the cut. If he said he needed a thousand bucks in the gift budget for me, I would hint to see what his intentions were. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:12 PM Flag
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He is your dh. Talk to him .. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:13 PM Flag
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I think it's too late now. He wanted to surprise you with something and make you happy. I think it would hurt his feelings to say you don't want it. But christmas is coming soon. Start hinting now about the clothes and sneakers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:19 PM Flag
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Sadly, I think you are right. We are Jewish, so don’t really do Christmas gifts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:35 PM Flag
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Why do so many women here think it's ok to behave like a spoiled child? "I don't want this present! Take it away and bring me something else!" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:26 PM Flag
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I am the op and I have said no such thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:28 PM Flag
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Wouldn’t most people feel upset if an $800 gift were basically going to waste ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:40 PM Flag
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I would rather my husband return the gift and get what he wanted vs it not being used. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:19 PM Flag
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A spouse's gift is different than any other gift. The money spent is also yours, so you have a bigger say. OP can thank DH extensively for the thought, but insist that she'd rather spend the money on something she really needs/wants. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:46 PM Flag
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I would definitely say something. DH and I have each returned gifts the other gave us, I would much rather that he have something he really likes than just put up with something meh, and vice versa. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:46 PM Flag
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This gift dissatisfaction is only a symptom. The real problem seems to be that you feel like DH is more entitled to spend the household income because he is the one earning it. It's weird, imo, for you to be foregoing clothing -- a necessity -- and receiving costly toys from him as if they are charity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:08 PM Flag
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OP here: thank you but I do not agree this is an accurate assessment of the issue. I would venture that perhaps you could be projecting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:08 PM Flag
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Yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:18 PM Flag
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Yes I have and he stopped getting me things on a regular basis for years. Haha. I’m totally fine with it. Recently he got me a designer wallet which I would never buy for myself and I fought the urge to return it and have been using it. He’s also bought jewelry which I’ve exchanged. He didn’t seem to mind that time. I think if you are really nice about telling him, he might be accepting but it’s tough. Some men get really offended about this type of stuff...maybe bc they feel that they put a lot of thought into it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:37 PM Flag
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I'm a DH and I would be offended if I was told to take it away, but there's nothing wrong with exchanging it for something you prefer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:23 PM Flag
[ - ] Stupid fight of the day with DH. I asked if I could take 7yo DC to lunch today (and he could stay with 6yo or take her out) to have 1-on-1 time. He said okay, but only if lunch is $10 or less per person. Fine. He asked where I was thinking of going and I said I don’t know yet. Later DC told him we had discussed possibly going for sushi, and DH went ballistic, saying that I lied by omission by not telling him I was considering that. Ugh. 75 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:43 PM Flag
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emotional abuse. Get out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:46 PM Flag
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100%. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:49 PM Flag
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Op: he’s making me crazy...feel trapped by all his rules. He wants to grill out tonight but only if all of us accompany him at the grill the whole time, because in his words, “I’m not doing it just to cook for you guys.” [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:54 PM Flag
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Leave now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:57 PM Flag
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np-THIS. Take it from me. I just filed for divorce, long term marriage. IT ONLY GETS WORSE, I should have gotten out a long time ago. I am now but i wasted so much time. PEOPLE DON"T CHANGE just remember that [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:04 PM Flag
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Op: how old are your kids? I would need to take them out of their schools I think, which is hard since we have moved them around a lot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:07 PM Flag
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I have one left in HS and two in college. BUT, kids are resilient, they always adjust. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:09 PM Flag
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Op: how is DH taking it? Is he being spiteful? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:13 PM Flag
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he isn't happy, but he did some really really bad things. He never thought I would serve him. He was shocked, even though no one and I mean no one would stay around and live with him [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:15 PM Flag
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Op: I totally get it. I hope he cooperates with you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:21 PM Flag
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Demand he sit with you when you cook. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:08 PM Flag
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That is a conversation I would have with my kid: [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:46 PM Flag
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Op: I do feel like a teenager sometimes- on a tight leash! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:56 PM Flag
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NP: that would be an intolerable life for me. We’ve never treated each other like this in 30 years of marriage. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:58 PM Flag
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Same here. I do this with my son because he is 12 and does not know the value of money. My dh would never and he is frugal and I was a sahm for years/ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:56 PM Flag
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"Taking myself out for a couple glasses of wine, I'll be back when you calm the fuck down, princess." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:47 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:49 PM Flag
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100% this. Frankly, I would have looked at him like he'd lost his mind when he gave me a $10/pp cap on the food. WTF? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:52 PM Flag
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Obviously this isn't a one-off behavior. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:09 PM Flag
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Op: no it’s not. Ongoing issues [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:21 PM Flag
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Are you having financial problems? Is the why he is setting a budget for lunch? He sounds very anxious and it comes out as trying to control everything (which understandably feels oppressive to you). Couples therapy can help break this kind of pattern. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:09 PM Flag
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np-ITD, this isn't about the money or the food on the grill, this is about control. Her dh is extremely controlling, and this won't end well is my prediction. These things usually escalate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:11 PM Flag
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I literally wrote that anxiety "comes out as having to control everything." You obviously don't have a grasp on the symptoms of mental health diagnosis. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:16 PM Flag
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Op: no financial problems but def very anxious. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:12 PM Flag
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np-has he always been like this? could he be cheating, doing other things behind your back? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:14 PM Flag
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Op: he’s always been somewhat controlling but I thought it was OCD; for example he would text me when I was coming home from a work trip, “please wash hand upon entry.” [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:17 PM Flag
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Hands [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:17 PM Flag
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ugh [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:21 PM Flag
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He treats you like a child. You have a parent/child relationship. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:56 PM Flag
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omg Is he also Suitcase Husband? You have to get OUT. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:11 PM Flag
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Op: I don’t think he’s cheating but I guess it’s possible. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:24 PM Flag
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Why would you care anyway? I would let an OW have him if I were you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:04 PM Flag
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Accompany him at the grill?? He sounds like he has mental problems, seriously. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:11 PM Flag
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Op: I wonder sometimes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:14 PM Flag
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from the little you told us, it seems so [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:17 PM Flag
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you wonder?! Seriously. Clearly he does. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:30 PM Flag
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Op: what kind do you think? OCD or something else? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:32 PM Flag
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He's got a terminal case of ControllingAsshole-Itis [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:48 PM Flag
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Lol. Sometimes that is the dx [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:26 PM Flag
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Set your alarm for 3am. Wake up and start screaming bloody murder at him about things he's done (or hell, even things he hasn't done). The next morning cook breakfast with a big smile on and pretend nothing happened. Do this every time he thinks tantrums are OK. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:21 PM Flag
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Op: lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:22 PM Flag
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W. T. F. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:41 PM Flag
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Did you also post about your dh getting mad because he thought you overtipped at the barber $1-2? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:44 PM Flag
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np: Or tearing up the doctor bill so he wouldn't see an overcharge? Or are there just a lot of these guys around? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:48 PM Flag
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There was also the woman who was terrified her DH would discover she’d opened a credit card account in her name, and the DH who lost his mind over furniture. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:51 PM Flag
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Don't forget the guy who had kittens because of a small christmas tree AND the dh who flipped out about chocolate. I want to open my home to these women. This is no way to live. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:11 PM Flag
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Op: my DH was the chocolate, credit card, and barber. I know, it’s bad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:12 PM Flag
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jfc. Divorce or stop complaining. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:16 PM Flag
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I know this is a "tough love" response and I wonder, OP: Does this help? Or could you use our help in another way? Maybe another woman here has felt the way you have about leaving (fear) and she can talk you through the steps? I think local women's shelter can provide you with legal aid and financial/emotional assistance to leave an abusive relationship. Yes, you are in an abusive Relationship. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:57 PM Flag
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PP is nice. I have posted before about my relationship with an abusive boyfriend. He “flew off the handle” over stupid stuff all the time. Once, he started throwing stuff at me after accusing me of being too messy because I left a printout in the printer tray, ironic because the printer sat on a desk full of empty coke cans and overflowing ashtrays that he had left there. Yes, this is abuse. It is very hard to see it, when you are in it. Please talk to someone ( like a therapist, maybe a support group ? ) and begin to make a plan. It will be very hard in the short term but a million times better in the long term. Please. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:30 PM Flag
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NP (1) Read Too Good to Leave Too Bad To Stay. UB recommended to me. (2) FWIW UB is TOO QUICK to suggest divorce so much easier to tell someone else what to do versus DIY. Realize that there are two sides to every coin. (3) Read Loving your spouse when you feel like walking away, by the same author as 5 love languages. I'm not Christian. I appreciated the template letters. (4) Deploy Medium Chill, 180, etc. get busy. Get out of the house. Reduce communication with DH and when you do communicate keep it calm. (5) Brene Brown. HTH [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:35 PM Flag
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There is nothing that is too good to stay about OP's situation. She needs to find a therapist who treats abused spouses. She needs a lawyer and a plan. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:13 AM Flag
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You're a fly on her wall? #3 has a few chapters that relate to OP. Not everyone is a knee jerk #2. She keeps posting here so she's not #2. "Can drag a horse to water but can't force that horse to drink." Accept who is posting (not you, not your life) and answer her questions accordingly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:51 AM Flag
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Did you read the threads that she started about all the other incidents? There is nothing too good to stay about her situation. It is no way to live. OP, I hope you can get help. This is abuse. You are entitled to so much more than abuse. Your kids deserve better too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:09 PM Flag
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This! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:57 PM Flag
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NP. I missed it...what were these other examples? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:31 PM Flag
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Make a plan. Please. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:13 AM Flag
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Wasn't there also one who flipped about leaving the light over the stove on? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 04:13 PM Flag
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This is totally fucked up and not normal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:44 PM Flag
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This isn't a stupid fight. You are married to a controlling freak. GET OUT. CHANGE SCHOOLS. NONE OF IT MATTERS. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:47 PM Flag
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I feel bad for your kid tbh. He sees his mother being abused. Yes, it is abuse. He's going to hate both of you soon. GL. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:00 PM Flag
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Yeah, after reading that OP has been complaining about this guy's insanity for a while now I no longer feel bad for her. Too bad she's wrecking her DC's life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:17 PM Flag
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Stfu victim abuser [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:21 PM Flag
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I'm not a victim abuser. I'm a woman who was abused by her father and then was in an abusive marriage. I left. So fuck off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 05:49 PM Flag
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Was he like this before marriage? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:05 PM Flag
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You sure he doesn't have a brain tumor? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:07 PM Flag
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Actions like these are hallmarks of “Power and Control” aspects of domestic abuse. Please call the national domestic abuse hotline 1 800 799 7233. Many women call and ask “ Is this abuse?” They can help you get a clearer understanding that what he is subjecting you to is off the charts not normal and not ok. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:44 PM Flag
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FAKE [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:21 PM Flag
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Why would this be fake? There’s clearly a lot of women on UB with controlling DHs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:50 PM Flag
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NP: which is sort of comical or depressing (depending how you look at it) since the same women are probably scooping out dating advice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 04:54 PM Flag
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You need to shut up. It's real. You're probably the asshole in your relationship which is why you can't relate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:56 PM Flag
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This sounds like an exhausting way to live. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 06:06 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 11.13.19, 08:40 PM Flag
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I read through this entire string and my one advice to you is start preparing yourself for financial independence. If you don't work out of home, start planning it. If you need to do things to bolster your knowledge on anything that tethered to this man start doing it: financial state, accounts, investments, housing, everything. My ex DH is controlling, a narcissist, demeaned me (and after 15 years, I believed everything he said, meanwhile I accomplished more than him), nice one day, downright bully the next. I've spent years in therapy working on myself when all along it was him who was messing with me. I finally divorced him and it is THE best thing I ever did. Believe yourself. You aren't the crazy one. He is. He will NEVER change. Even after divorce, he will continue to be like this. Oh, he'll have a period of time where he's "normal" but he will regress and it goes up a notch. Mine physically assaulted me. And, no, domestic violence doesn't discriminate. We live a very nice lifestyle. Do you and your DCs a favor and leave him behind. Good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:04 PM Flag
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This is excellent and compassionate advice, pay close attention. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:34 PM Flag
[ - ] there is a private school in morristown that i'm thinking of sending dd to for HS. But really and i know this is wrong, the top (cum laude) kids are applying and getting rejected from the very top colleges. I know that sounds awful, and Wesleyan is great and all, but i can't help judging. 63 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:37 PM Flag
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Yawn. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:41 PM Flag
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I'm sorry your daughter got rejected from Wesleyan. That sucks. There are lots of good schools out there though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:49 PM Flag
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That’s not what she’s saying. She’s saying best school top kids go to is Wesleyan. BTW, I sent to to Wesleyan and got equally good education to sibling who sent HYP. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:05 PM Flag
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went [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:05 PM Flag
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Competition for college has outpaced the ability of the most desirable schools to keep up. It's not really news and it doesn't have any particular bearing on the quality of a prep school. It's just a different landscape. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:11 PM Flag
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No, wrong. Look at college admissions stats of top prep/ private schools. Routinely 1/3 Ivies, 1/3 top lacs, 1/3 highly selective though less prestigious colleges like Trinity, Franklin and Marshall etc. BC, BU. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:02 PM Flag
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And the legacy percentages? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:03 PM Flag
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Private school in wealthy NJ area will also have legacies; it matters , but strength of academics matters more, in terms of significant admissions from a prep school or lack thereof, year after year after year. And remember it is Legacy + Significant donations constantly increasing since graduation, that actually makes the difference, legacy but no or little donation ( which is a lot more common than you may believe) does not give a real leg up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:20 PM Flag
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TT NYC schools don’t just have legacies. They have mega wealthy, mega connected legacies. Obama and Clinton are writing their recommendations and their friends are on the boards of Ivy League schools. It matters. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:47 AM Flag
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Um I think as an outsider you may be overstating the universality of this phenomenon even at NY TT schools, where most kids are just not connected in the way you have imagined. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:28 PM Flag
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This, your imagination has gotten way ahead of reality. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 09:23 PM Flag
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Plus, if you are not an HYP etc. legacy for your DD, which it sounds as if you are not, irrelevant for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:21 PM Flag
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But Wesleyan is a top LAC. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:03 PM Flag
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Top LACs are Amherst Williams Swarthmore.. Wesleyan , Oberlin, just a tad below that, still very competitive, but not tippy top. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:16 PM Flag
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Wesleyan is quite similar to Amherst and Williams. Acceptance rates for all 3 range between 13 to 17 percent (amherst 13%, Williams 15%, Wesleyan 17%). Oberlin has an acceptance rate of 30%, so really not comparable to the other 3. My niece goes to Williams and knows people who were rejected from Wesleyan. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:40 PM Flag
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Not as prestigious. May be just as hard to get in , but we’re clearly talking snob value here not comparing academics. And those three are the ‘ best’ lacs for boasting purposes. Not advocating, not judging myself, just describing the boasting mom pecking order as observed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:46 PM Flag
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ok, gotcha. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:36 PM Flag
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So QED, top colleges are not impressed by grads of this school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:28 PM Flag
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That's not true at all. Great LACs are classic feeders to great grad schools. It's almost the point. You don't come out of an LAC necessarily qualified to do anything in particular, you're just given lots of information and training in critical thinking skills. Mine went to Williams and he's going to Georgetown next. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:31 PM Flag
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Mixup-I was referring to grads of the Morristown high school OP is considering for DD that has poor college admissions record. Apparently colleges don’t think much of the academics at this high school, since admissions stats are consistently lackluster. Not commenting on merits of grads of all these exceptional colleges. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:49 PM Flag
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Yes. MoBeard is not a top private school. That’s why. And kids aren’t that stellar and little diversity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:08 PM Flag
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I dont understand. Are you saying that top LACs are not top colleges? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:41 PM Flag
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No. OP commented that a particular high school she is considering for her DD has poor college admissions; as evidence, she noted a top honors student was rejected by Wesleyan and she thought that was unimpressive. My comment was that if this is a common result at that high school (that even the top students can’t get in to top lac colleges, it’s probably a sign that top colleges do not respect the academics at this high school. That happens, and when it does, the high school needs to make a big public effort to upgrade its academics and then do a tour of top colleges alerting them to the revamp and trying to convince the colleges to give their applicants a second look now that standards have been raised. Then we got into a side quibble about which are the most boast- worthy top lacs. That was off topic, because the OP’s real point is that schools like Wesleyan are not accepting even the top kids from this particular high school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:20 PM Flag
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Those are connected kids, though. You're giving the school credit for the accomplishments and relationships of the parents. Which might be true, but it has zero to do with the actual educational curriculum. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:17 PM Flag
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It has to do with the colleges perception of the academics at prep schools. Ask any admissions officers. Grads of Collegiate and Brearley are not more connected than grads of Spence and Chapin. But year after year, Br and Co do just a few HYPS spots better than S and C. They all do well compared to random other schools. But the difference between Br and Co and the others is small but consistent over many years, confirming colleges think these two are academically just that bit stronger than other TT SS NY schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:55 PM Flag
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Get a life please. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:11 PM Flag
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This is not arcane info. Anyone who grew up in NY and attended these schools knows this. It’s been true since the 80s. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:56 PM Flag
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Yes except back then Chapin wasn’t in the running, trailed N-B by a mile. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:27 AM Flag
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Maybe half a mile. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:34 AM Flag
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So don’t send DD there. Simple. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:11 PM Flag
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Whatever school you send your DD to, you need to evolve your expectations on college. If Wesleyan isn’t your kind of school fine but get used to the idea of similar ranked colleges, even if they have different styles to Wesleyan. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:20 PM Flag
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And I'm guessing you mean this get used to this rank as one that is not a shoe-in for anyone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:35 PM Flag
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Just FYI, it’s shoo-in (as in the verb shoo), not shoe- in (as in Manolo). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:04 PM Flag
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Ha! Thx! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:59 AM Flag
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So here’s the truth: this means that the top colleges ( the ones rejecting these kids) do not think highly of this school. They probably have had some experience with its graduates in the past, may be quite some time ago, and found the kids to be poorly prepared for college. In turn, the school has apparently done nothing to upgrade its academics and then work on communicating that to colleges. Conclusion: don’t send your dc there if you are seeking top notch academics. For comparison, go to Collegiate ( NYC boys school) website and look at the exmissions stats they provide for last 5 years. That’s what college admissions stats look like where colleges value a school’s academics. Contrary to what one OP says, this has EVERY particular bearing on the quality of a prep school. And the verdict on the school you are considering is guilty of lackluster academics. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:21 PM Flag
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How old is your DD? Is she a brilliant kid now, who gets nothing but straight As, picks up foreign languages on her own, always does extra work, is years ahead of her classmates in math, so that you have needed to get her tutors with whom to do advanced academic work to keep her from being bored? Most important, do her teachers routinely comment with emphasis that she is the most brilliant student they have taught in many years? Because if not, no high school will change the basic nature of her intellect. And you would be foolish to be thinking of Ivies, Stanford MIT etc. as either attainable, or a good fit for her. If she works hard, Rutgers may be attainable, quite good among state schools, you’re lucky to be in NJ. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:57 PM Flag
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Sorry, but I went ivy and kids there were smart, but not smart in the way you're discussing for the most part. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:42 PM Flag
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Agree, but that is what HYPS are looking for in applicants, especially those from lackluster high schools. Just read this board, all about how nobody without a 4.5 average and 1580 sat plus some “hook” will ever get in to a top college. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:24 PM Flag
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^^^also, if you attended Podunk High School and you are HYPS material, that is exactly what your teachers will have been saying about you for years. I also went HYP, but from a top prep school (so had a realistic estimation of my academic level as smart but no genius); Met so many kids from random high schools across the country who were shocked and dismayed to find out that compared to their highly selected classmates in college, they were just academically average. Because they had all been tippy top of their high school class without ever having to study hard, praised as academic stars since 3rd grade, told by their teachers they were“best student I have taught in 20 years.” They arrived at HYPS fully expecting to still to be the smartest kid in the class. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:33 PM Flag
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Please. I went to a top college and the smartest kids there were the stars from small towns. Because they weren’t groomed from k like prep school kids it was all natural, obvious intelligence. The athletes were noticeably the weakest, followed by the super rich kids. Prep school kids as a lot were spoiled and didn’t work that hard. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:06 PM Flag
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Reading comprehension fail. Your post does not even address the same point the op was making, let alone refute or contradict it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:24 PM Flag
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Yeah, I hear you, but the Board is wrong about that. It is true that if you want to get in without a hook (like extracurriculars and/or sports and/or family name) then you better be off the charts smart (whichever school you're coming from). But if you have have one of the aforementioned extras, you don't need to be a genius. Where I was, there was a small minority of true geniuses and a big sea of very smart kids, some of whom came from public and others who came from privates. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:42 PM Flag
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But I will say that even with a hook, getting in is a big crap shoot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:49 PM Flag
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Yes admission to any specific school is way more of a crap shoot than it used to be, mainly because schools manage acceptances to generate impressive Yield Statistics. But getting in to at least one of a correctly targeted tier of schools is actually no more unpredictable than in days of yore. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:42 PM Flag
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Responder from above. Agree. Although the added statistical noise from the managed yields means that a small percentage of those kids will get unlucky and not match in the correct tier. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:55 AM Flag
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Yes agree, that used to happen exactly NEVER. Now it does pop up here and there with unfortunate and unfair regularity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:23 AM Flag
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Well you’d never know it from this board where people act like you need 1580 and perfect grades to even have any shot. They read SAT scores form admitted students which is way off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:07 PM Flag
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Yes that’s what we were saying: you’d never know it from this board. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:24 PM Flag
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IME, the most important thing is where your DC has a good fit and will be happy. I did not go to a "very top college" but it worked out more than fine, I loved my college, was able to go to a great grad school, and made 2MM+ last year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:01 PM Flag
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This. Other than snob value of the name, who cares. You worked hard and made a great life for yourself. Brilliant! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:38 PM Flag
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villa walsh? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:12 PM Flag
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Oh it’s a private Catholic school? That might go some way to explain poor exmissions- colleges may expect applicants will choose a Catholic college (especially if historically many do so choose), so less likely to accept and ruin the college yield number. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:10 PM Flag
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Just checked website- OP is right, these exmissions (listed by year from 2015) are truly appalling. Only spend money on this if for deep religious commitment- it may be perfect for that. Be surprised if local public in this wealthy area doesn’t do at least as well if not better on college admissions. Yikes! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:13 AM Flag
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If you are going to send your DD to private school for social reasons (although Villa Walsh, kind of sounds like a downmarket British seaside resort), then your choice is clear and that’s fine. But if you are trying to find a school that will get DD better college access, doesn’t sound as if this is it, so why waste the money. Not as if it’s a nationally known school like Exeter or Groton that will look good on her resume forever no matter where she goes to college. Have you checked their SAT score averages, compared to your local public? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:34 PM Flag
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One word: Lawrenceville. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:43 PM Flag
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This. OP, if you’re this worried about exmissions, just apply for your kid to be a day student at Lawrenceville. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 04:35 PM Flag
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MKA and Newark Academy are considered better than Morristown Beard. Also what about Pingry? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:02 AM Flag
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Is Catholic school less expensive? Maybe she just can’t afford Lawrenceville or similar? Or maybe dcs scores are to low to get in? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:21 AM Flag
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Yes, much, much less. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:13 AM Flag
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mka is trash [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:45 AM Flag
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OP, no need to tell us, but ask yourself what type of schools you and DH attended. Most schools if they have changed since then ( and some have not) have only become more selective than they were in your day. So start thinking of schools like your own for your DC, and research current admissions standards there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:09 AM Flag
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If it’s Morristown Beard then it’s because the school is not an academic powerhouse. Kids get in there who couldn’t get into Pingry, Newark Academy etc. But kids seem to like it. They used to have good remedial program. No AP classes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:56 PM Flag
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Morristown Beard? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 09:56 PM Flag
[ - ] Robert Caro is 83. What if he never finishes the final LBJ book? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:30 PM Flag
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I think you seem lost [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:52 PM Flag
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I wonder what happens if his wife dies. He says she's the only research assistant he trusts. Although of course one hopes the research is done now and he just has to type the damned thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:13 PM Flag
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alas, writing isn't like that, but I hear you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:19 PM Flag
[ - ] What do you know about THEATRE XIV in Brooklyn? I was offered free tickets, but nor sure what it's all about 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:09 PM Flag
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Haven’t been yet but it’s gotten great reviews. Ballet dance company with a burlesque twist. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:18 PM Flag
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Not sure what burlesque is all about. Can you please elaborate? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:35 PM Flag
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It’s a caricature of more serious works. Intended to be comedic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:38 PM Flag
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Its a show with a number of acts, usually comic and almost always Benny Hill-level sexual. Sometimes there is a magician with a smoke and mirrors act and there "might" be a few drag queens and kings hanging about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:14 PM Flag
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^^ You might get a hit of Cirque du Soliel type acrobatics [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:15 PM Flag
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A little Cirque du Soleil with comedic theater. You drink a cocktail and admire 1/2 naked people in bejeweled jockstraps and pasties with tassels. Wonder why your body will never look like theirs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:58 PM Flag
[ - ] For those of you who follow a no-sugar, low-carb diet to keep weight off, how often (if ever) do you allow yourself to indulge? I feel fortunate to have a lot to celebrate and people to celebrate with, but the constant “special occasions” challenge both my willpower and my waistline. It also doesn’t help that DH and I love food and great restaurants. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:56 PM Flag
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Embarassing question - how to deal with constipation that comes with? Ive always stopped the low carb anything because of that [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:31 PM Flag
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Magnesium or Colace [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:40 PM Flag
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vegetables, fruit, beans, whole grains, etc.. are all good for you and keep you regular, so eat those any think more no sugar, no white flour rather than no carb. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:28 PM Flag
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Sorry this isn't really helpful. But if you have a lot of events where you want to enjoy carbs...why not pause your low carb way of eating for a month or two. Go with reducing portion size, monitoring calorie intake, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:41 PM Flag
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I’ve tried Weight Watchers (portion control) and it doesn’t work for me these days. I seem to be extra sensitive to carbs the older I get. I don’t mean “true” special occasions but more like the ever revolving door of birthdays, baby showers, anniversaries, holidays, etc. It’s always something. I know I have to discover my “cheat” limit for myself but curious how much others get away with. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:51 PM Flag
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This is me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:09 PM Flag
[ - ] Just booked a trip to New Orleans for Rosh Hashana break - very end of September. Going with DH, who loves jazz and teens. What are the "must see" for us? I want it to be special for DH, as he has a special birthday. 42 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:31 PM Flag
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If your DH loves teens, maybe go to Alabama [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:33 PM Flag
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There are men who like teen girls everwhere. Not just one place. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:40 PM Flag
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Ah ha... our teens are coming along [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:45 PM Flag
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Or West Palm Beach [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:30 PM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:59 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:04 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:13 PM Flag
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Beignets at Cafe du Monde [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:34 PM Flag
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Noted, thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:45 PM Flag
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+1, this was the best part of our trip, we went late at night and it was still open and busy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:08 PM Flag
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Stay at Hotel Peter and Paul. It is outside the French Quarter and a great property. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:49 AM Flag
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St. Charles street car; cemetery tour (go with a guide--we like Free Tours by Foot) lots of history in those graves; maybe Jazz at Preservation Hall--buy tickets in advance; Canal Street Ferry to see the Mississippi River--you can cross to Algiers and walk around a bit or come back on the next ferry); Frenchman Street (your kids may not be able to get into many venues, but there's street music as well); Audubon Zoo; Snug Harbor has jazz and allows teens [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:50 PM Flag
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Magazine Street for eating and shopping [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:53 PM Flag
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Willie Mae's Scotch House for fried chicken [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:57 PM Flag
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TY [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:03 PM Flag
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np- Best fried chicken in the country imo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:53 AM Flag
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TY [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:03 PM Flag
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Thank you!!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:53 PM Flag
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Where should we stay? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:53 PM Flag
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in a hotel or bed and breakfast--do not do Airbnb-it's not legal and is hurting NOLA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:55 PM Flag
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OP: not considering Airbnb, not our thing. Asking about area other than French Quarter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:01 PM Flag
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We stayed at the Ritz Carleton and the club room there was the best we have seen in the US. [ UrbanBaby
  • Filter the conversation
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Any great suggestions for after show dinner in midtown? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:54 PM Flag
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Joe Allen is always good. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:59 PM Flag
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Joe Allen is always good. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:59 PM Flag
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Thank you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:49 PM Flag
[ - ] HELP ME DO THE FOOD MATH PLEase: Going to a family style restaurant with 8 people total: 4 adults, 4 seven yr olds. Menu states that each dish feeds 3 adults. How much should we order? (2 pastas, 1 meat, 1 veg? or is everyone getting just 2 bites of these dishes? 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:42 PM Flag
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I would get 2 dishes for the 7 year olds and 3 for the adults. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:45 PM Flag
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but since they are picky kids, i wanted to get 2 pasts- one with butter, one with a light tomato sauce, but also have some chicken and veggies on the table. everyone will share. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:50 PM Flag
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It's impossible to say without knowing how much they think an adult eats. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:48 PM Flag
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Give us the web address of the restaurant so we can look at the menu [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:49 PM Flag
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dont want to out myself [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:51 PM Flag
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its basic tho: spaghetti marinana that serves 3, chicken parmesean that serves 3.etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:52 PM Flag
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oh please [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:08 PM Flag
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OFCOL, you think you are the only table of 8 with a 4/4 split between kids and adults going to Carmines or Tonys DiNapoli this week? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:10 PM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:48 PM Flag
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eyeroll [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:15 PM Flag
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This is the most annoying post of the day and it's only 11 am. 2 meat, 1 salad, 2 pasta (one pretty plain) would be a basic order. Work up or down depending on the actual audience. An adult could be a social xray who will have a lettuce leaf and 12 glasses of wine or a bear of a guy who can knock off a pound of pasta waiting for the turkey on Thanksgiving. So, you know, read the rooom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:54 PM Flag
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op: social x-ray! ily. adults are a mix. 1 big eater, 1 average, 2 that pick. considering getting 2 of the same meat dish so theres enough to go around. a dish for 3 split between 8 people means everyone gets 1 bite. you hear me? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:58 PM Flag
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So, back to "read the room" or even just ask if people would prefer to have "enough" of one thing or a few bites of a few things. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:00 PM Flag
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this mom thinks we'll all know who she is if she mentions the name of a restaurant where none of us live. logic doesn't seem to be her strong suit [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:09 PM Flag
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Trudat [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:17 PM Flag
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you're an idiot. we all know this site reaches every city. By witholding info, it prevents you from being outed. You verey well may live in the city with this restaurant, so why name it? Simpleton [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 07:29 PM Flag
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I can't imagine stressing about this. Order what you want. If it's not enough order more. Have you ever been outside? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:15 PM Flag
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Op: who’s is stressing? UB is a quick place to ask a few moms a question and get immediate feedback. It’s helpful [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 09:33 PM Flag
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The wait staff will help you with that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:19 PM Flag
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This^. The wait staff can tell you how many people each dish will feed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:48 PM Flag
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You really needed to crowdsource the order? And think it will work when no one here knows the people or restaurant? Just ask the waitstaff when you order, this is not difficult. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:19 PM Flag
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the name of the restaurant wont assist anyone. She stated that each dish feeds 3 adults. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 07:30 PM Flag
[ - ] What is your least favorite household chore to do or to clean? 43 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:39 PM Flag
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Vacuuming carpets. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:42 PM Flag
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Get a roomba [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:27 PM Flag
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Cleaning my blinds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:42 PM Flag
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I have 30 windows in the house and really Hated doing them until I figured out the perfect way to clean them. It’s not like it’s my favorite thing to do now but I have to admit my blinds are squeaky clean and that gives me incentive to clean them more often so it is not a long daunting task. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:57 PM Flag
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You found the secret and you won’t share? I will never have blinds because of how dirty they get. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:14 PM Flag
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Ha ha sorry. I posted, clicked watch and went out. Basically I purchased Lysol wipes with one side that scrubs. Shut the blinds, use the scrubbing side and wipe well as it was a wall. You need to push the blinds to the window a bit to gain stability. I divide each blind in three sections and use one wipe with each (they come dripping wet). I use a forth wipe to give a final clean to wipe any excess I missed. The key is to keep them closed and pushed up against the window for leverage. I was not cheap with wipes. I went through many packs but was so worth it. I have to admit I was proud of myself And even DH noticed, score! :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:58 PM Flag
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roller shades only in my house, and for this reason. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:46 PM Flag
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I’m thinking of going this way. My mom had a company pick them up. Clean them. And bring them back! I would kill for this service [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:14 AM Flag
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I hate going into this one area of my house. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:46 PM Flag
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Is it cluttered? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:57 PM Flag
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It's the area where my teens are. There's guaranteed always something to completely disgust me so I just pretend it's not there. It's the kind of area where no matter how many times you clean the floor, it always feels sticky. Bleh [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:05 PM Flag
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Bathroom-toilet area. ugh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:47 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:53 PM Flag
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I find that the more often I clean it, the less I have to deep clean it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:57 PM Flag
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I just can't, ha ha. I have to wear a mask, gloves up to my elbows etc (not really but I wish I could). 1 bathroom so it's used very very often. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:06 PM Flag
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Base molding is a pain [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:58 PM Flag
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Me too, literally! Luckily DD is always saving up money for some bit of foolishness or other, so she's on the hunt for extra chores. She does every baseboard in the apartment for two bucks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:21 PM Flag
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seconding, also any elaborate trim on cabinets, furniture, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:43 AM Flag
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It’s over doors in the house have six panels and dust collects at the bottom of the panel and because it’s not clean cut the shaker style, it’s more time consuming. Now I wish we had simpler doors [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:58 PM Flag
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Polishing silver. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:01 PM Flag
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Jewelry or flatware? If it’s flatware, kudos to you! I think there’s tons of people out there who don’t use their silverware and it just tarnishes in the chest. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:03 PM Flag
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I’ve got some silver plate - if it tarnishes too badly, you can’t bring it back. I can never remember what’s sterling and what’s silver plate, so I end up just polishing it all. Would gladly outsource if I could. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:06 PM Flag
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Everything can be outsourced. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:20 PM Flag
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Posted this before on an identical question a while ago: keeping the tiles clean in my 1930s bathroom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:12 PM Flag
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Identical question? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:59 PM Flag
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I can't even keep the tiles clean in my 1985 bathroom. I've given up trying. I figure if it gets really bad DH will approve my dream of a new bathroom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:28 PM Flag
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I bought a water pik that attaches to the shower head from Amazon. I never anticipated that in addition to saving me a lot of money on dental health care, it's also made cleaning tile, under nails, and so on much easier and kind of fun! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:45 AM Flag
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Dealing with dirty dishes (rinsing, scrubbing amd loading the dishwasher). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:49 PM Flag
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^ the least terrible chore for me Is folding laundry, because it’s already clean. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:51 PM Flag
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same! I use gloves but still get grossed out. Same feeling with dirty bathrooms. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:45 AM Flag
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Dusting. We live on the second floor on a busy street, and I could dust and spray/wipe surfaces every day. The grime that blows in is unbelievable. I miss living on the 38th floor! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:30 PM Flag
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Blech. Get a good air system and limit opening the windows. Your family is breathing all that nastiness in to their lungs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:35 PM Flag
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oven [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:22 PM Flag
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this too. I don't know how to clean the bottom of my oven and it's a self cleaning oven and I tried those oven sprays too :( [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:45 AM Flag
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Just because it's what I do most often -- pick up things and put them away. Why can none of my kids and DH put anything away? I wish I could just snap my fingers and everything would be where it's supposed to be. No clutter! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:37 PM Flag
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When I shifted to putting their stuff into the rubbish bin they suddenly improved [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:46 AM Flag
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I don't mind actually cleaning things but I hate dealing with clutter and trying to figure out where things go. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:26 PM Flag
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Taking out the garbage at the beach house. I’m not sure why. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:19 AM Flag
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Cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, vacuuming, laundry, I hate it all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:03 AM Flag
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me too. what to do? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:46 AM Flag
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OR above. DH handles laundry, I'm giving my 9 and 12 yo more and more chores (mixed results),i have a cleaning person 1x a month, I have a roomba which does an ok but not great job of vacuuming, i have 10 healthy meals delivered every week, and I sometimes have groceries delivered instead of going into the store. And my standards aren't super high. But still I feel like it is all too much. I very much resent anything that I consider "drudgery" or "woman's work." And the older I get (I'm in my late 40s), the more I feel like I want to spend my time on things I enjoy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:47 PM Flag
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Mopping. I don't feel like Swiffers actually clean but mopping is terrible. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:40 PM Flag
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Yard work [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:40 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone else following this Caroline Calloway mess? It's so goddamned riveting. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:35 PM Flag
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Really? I find it boring. It's people in media getting all lathered up about someone who is conning people by being fake. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:46 PM Flag
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Yes, but if you are a very shallow person, like I am, it's entertaining drama. It's like being back in middle school for a while, but with no skin in the game [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:06 PM Flag
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Sure I get that. I follow the Kardashians b/c I find it to be weird. But this person seems so shallow and full of nothing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:41 PM Flag
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I think what I might be getting out of it is a big shot of "thank the fuck lord I am not in my twenties anymore" ... that kind of navel gazing and self-importance is just mind boggling. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:54 PM Flag
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True. She just seems so pathetic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:59 PM Flag
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https://www.reddit.com/r/blogsnark/comments/cynvwx/caroline_calloway_9298/ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:50 PM Flag
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I had never heard of her, just googled. I don't understand why people are interested in her. She's clearly personality disordered. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:02 PM Flag
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op. It seems like it. I never heard of her until last month but I admit that now I'm caught up in it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:30 PM Flag
[ - ] Recommendations for a tailor/seamstress on the Upper West Side? I need straps shortened on a lacy sleeveless dress so I don't want to bring it somewhere that only really does hemming, etc, but I also don't want to go somewhere fancy and expensive. Having trouble finding in-between options. TIA. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:11 PM Flag
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Is your Nordstrom open yet? I would even check at the Men's one if the seamstress can take the dress. THEy will do a great job and charge a fair price. You don't have to have bought the clothes there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:23 PM Flag
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I highly recommend "Anthony The Tailor From Italy" at 101 W 74th St (upstairs). Great, great professional. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:38 PM Flag
[ - ] What to bring to someone in the hospital, who just had surgery to remove cancer, other than flowers? 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:46 PM Flag
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Ask them if you can pick them up a coffee, shake, slurpee, big diet coke. Get one for yourself and you can enjoy your drinks together for about the time a visit like this should last. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:48 PM Flag
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(Obviously not if they are NPO) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:48 PM Flag
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Diet coke and cancer, hmmm... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:48 PM Flag
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I drink diet coke every day. No cancer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:07 PM Flag
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smh Are you 70? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:30 PM Flag
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I was your friend a few weeks ago. I felt so rotten while I was in hospital I didn’t want to see anyone. When I was released I was most grateful t9 those friends who brought me food or did my laundry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:49 PM Flag
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She asked me to come. So thinking I should [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:54 PM Flag
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A candy bar and potato chips. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:56 PM Flag
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No, just no. Find some small thing she really likes, no greasy or super sugary. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:15 PM Flag
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no sugar or bad food for cancer patients. jeez! as a cancer patient myself, I would say real food - fruit or nuts as snacks are fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:43 PM Flag
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you often can't bring flowers anyway. I brought some magazines, ask what they might want to drink, walk with them in the halls a little if their doctor said they could. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:57 PM Flag
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This or a really short, light reading book. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:15 PM Flag
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definitely food. maybe a nice tart or a couple of small pastries they like? Something that doesnt need to be hot or cold and isnt messy. Maybe a couple of magazines, like The New Yorker, etc. Something to read. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:44 PM Flag
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absolutely no sugar for cancer patients. sugar is terrible for cancer. no no no. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:44 PM Flag
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some snacks or some good moisturizer [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:47 PM Flag
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Cashmere socks, soft cuddle blanket. Sleep mask, nice hand lotion, Chanel Lip moisturizer. No food, after cancer surgery I couldn’t eat for weeks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:58 PM Flag
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+1 to everything, especially the lip balm because your mouth is very dry after surgery/intubation. I would include cotton socks instead of cashmere, though. I hated the socks that the hospital gave me because they were too hot, and cashmere gives me an allergic reaction. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:21 PM Flag
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no lotions, just food. I had cancer surgery and was starving. I couldn't wait to get home to eat a real mell. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:44 PM Flag
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This is the best list. I also appreciated slippers with good tread on bottom. I might add dry shampoo if the person is in for a little while [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 01:53 AM Flag
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chicken / matzo ball soup. cheese blitzes with sour cream. soft in texture jewish food basically. go to zabars [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:35 PM Flag
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that soup idea sounds good. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:45 PM Flag
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My friend gave my mom a little llama-shaped planter with a succulent in it. Mom really liked it and she has it on the windowsill at home now. Food gifts will depend on what kind of surgery, how they're feeling and if they're on a special diet. My mom enjoyed getting care packages of mints/gum, wet wipes, and lotion. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:43 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone seen Slavo’s snow show? Good for a 9 and 11yo? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:33 PM Flag
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I saw it years ago, I think it would be great for kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:34 PM Flag
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too old [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:35 PM Flag
[ - ] Trying to plan a trip for end of September, Friday night to Tuesday, DH, myself and two teens from NYC. Where would you go? Can stay in US or go abroad, just need reasonable flights - not too long or too expensive. Suggestions? 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:24 PM Flag
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Where have you been? What do you like yo do? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:30 PM Flag
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I've been to many places, so hard to list. Looking for mellow fun for the family. Really flexible. I don't like camping, it needs to be a place that is easy to travel - quick flight (under 5 hours), nice hotels and plenty to do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:32 PM Flag
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Ain’t Too Proud (a musical about the Temptations) is great fun for a girls’s afternoon/night out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:49 PM Flag
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Oops, wrong thread! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:50 PM Flag
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Quebec City. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:50 PM Flag
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OP: loved it, been recently [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:55 PM Flag
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Portland Maine is fun [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:00 PM Flag
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Oh yeah? what do you recommend there? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:15 PM Flag
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NP but Portland Maine mom here: late September a gorgeous time here (possibly early for leaf color but starting.) In Portland proper Old Port fun and easy to walk around, usually a busy time of year for tourist industry so check local paper for festivals/music etc. It's such a good food town these days so read up on that (Bon Appetit had a big piece on this within the last year.) Near Portland Cape Elizabeth has beautiful beaches (Kettle Cove my personal favorite), Portland Head Light also in Cape Eliz is a big landmark and the Bite Into Maine food truck you'll find in the park has THE BEST lobster rolls ever ($$ but amazing, they win lots of awards.) If you like kayaking/paddleboarding it's usually still warm enough that you can rent ones at various locations, trip to Freeport to the LLBean mothership is kind of a fun morning and Wolfes Neck State Park nearby has a lovely easy walk along the coast, take a ferry to Peaks Island and rent bikes to explore a bit, further up the coast the Boothbay Botanical Gardens are quite stunning....plenty to keep you busy for a long weekend [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:02 PM Flag
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Iceland [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:47 PM Flag
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Not enough time, I think. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:06 PM Flag
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Mexico City. Dd and her friend had a blast going there. There is a hipster area of town, some nice museums and if you speak Spanish (or your kids) it's a nice way to keep up with the language . Food was good. Outdoor market. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:49 PM Flag
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I was going to suggest Mexico City as well! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:41 PM Flag
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Toronto. NY Mag has a nice spread about Toronto and places to eat and see. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:00 PM Flag
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Bermuda [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:22 PM Flag
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how about San Juan or Miami? or, New Orleans, Mexico City, or San Diego? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:46 PM Flag
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Santa Fe [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:48 PM Flag
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San Antonio/Austin [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:48 PM Flag
[ - ] Girls trip to NYC in Nov. Ideas for shows, comedy clubs, off broadway stuff, day spa, fun dinner restaurants? Everyone has been there so no sightseeing necessary. Maybe off the beaten trail art museum... shopping? Thank you Manhattan Moms! 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:17 PM Flag
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Why only Manhattan moms? This Bronx mom recommends the Tenement Museum (make advance reservations) or the Rubin Museum. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:21 PM Flag
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Thanks, Bronx Mom! Appreciate it! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:22 PM Flag
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Loved the Tenement Museum! Suburban Philadelphia Mom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:38 PM Flag
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Oh please. You know no one cares to hear from the bronx. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:52 PM Flag
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What part of flyover are you from? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:15 PM Flag
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Wtf? You're an imbecile. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:50 PM Flag
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Aire, McKittrick Hotel, brunch at the Roxy, ride bikes along the Hudson River From 34 to the battery, shopping along 9th street from 1st ave to Tompkins sq, stroll around TSquare, get a cocktail somewhere in the east village or butter lane cupcakes, dinner at city winter on the water [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:31 PM Flag
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Ain’t Too Proud on Broadway. Lots of fun! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:50 PM Flag
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Sleep No More is great (at the McKittrick). Burlesque in Brooklyn (Company XIV is great). Bushwick art murals and walking around. Dinner somewhere in Bushwick. Shows: Come from Away, Hadestown are both great. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:51 PM Flag
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There is burlesque at the McKittrick on Fridays [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:04 PM Flag
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Oh, didn't know that. I live nearby, thanks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:06 PM Flag
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It's kind of a revolving cast too, so you can bring out of towners a few times over a year or so and not feel like you have seen the same thing over and over. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:16 PM Flag
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Neat. I also like the rooftop bar that's set up like a ski chalet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:42 PM Flag
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That guy is making a killing. Total stoner dude from Buffalo burbs. Hilarious and charming if you like 'em like that [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:46 AM Flag
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Head out to Queens if the weather is nice - Socrates Park, the Noguchi, MOMA Qns, then wander around one of the great food neighborhoods to find something for lunch. Get mani pedis while you are out there, the prices and service tends to be much better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:04 PM Flag
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+1 Astoria is nice. Astoria Park or waterfront of Queens is nice b/c you get a good view of Manhattan. There are still some good Greek restaurants out there (if you have a car it's a little easier). Titan Food market and another one (name escapes me). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:08 PM Flag
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Maybe see if you can get tickets to a TV show taping. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:16 PM Flag
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I highly recommend the shibui spa at the greenwhich hotel. Beautiful and lovely pool. And you can have dinner at locanda verde, the Italian restaurant at the hotel. It’s a bit overhyped, but cool atmosphere. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:11 PM Flag
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Cloisters museum and a walk around Ft Tryon park, coffee or lunch in New Leaf Cafe (in the park) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:24 PM Flag
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In November? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:39 PM Flag
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NP NYC is wonderful in the autumn! What's wrong? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:35 PM Flag
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do one day and night in Williamsburg - Domino Park, shopping + galleries, Hotel Delmano for a cocktail (it's not a hotel, it's a bar), D.O.C. Wine Bar for dinner (great food and wine) and the Wythe Hotel or Hoxton's for drinks after. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:48 PM Flag
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You've probably been to upscale-type day spas, but consider reserving one of the Asian storefront-type spas for an hour or two. Excellent massages. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:27 PM Flag
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Stay out of Times Square & the theater district if you've already been. Have you walked across the Brooklyn Bridge? Great walk, but bring an extra layer for November. Have you taken the Q train? You can go all the way to Coney Island. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:53 PM Flag
[ - ] Dear friends just moved into a new home. I would like to bring a gift. Suggestions? I will bring my friends favorite bottle of wine but I’d like to get them something else too. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:01 PM Flag
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A nice vase maybe? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:04 PM Flag
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No do not give gifts for the home. Tastes are so different. I've thrown away so many things. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:52 PM Flag
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Bring her favorite wine plus a few more bottles of exotic wines. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:54 PM Flag
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Do you know her color scheme? Nice towels for her guest bath. Dish towels or placemats/napkins for her kitchen? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:18 PM Flag
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What about a small plant? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:39 PM Flag
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I get nice doormat [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:18 PM Flag
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My friend is a neat freak. I bought her a basket of Method cleaning products from target. I know this is a pretty friend specific gift, we are both pretty practical and dislike clutter. She doesn’t need another tray or picture frame. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:30 PM Flag
[ - ] Please help with a gift idea for a newborn boy who has an older sister. Budget - up to $100 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:38 PM Flag
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How close are you with the mom? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:56 PM Flag
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work colleague [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:03 PM Flag
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Mid sized llbean tote that zips w babies name monogrammed [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:32 PM Flag
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Nice, any other ideas with baby name on it? step stool type? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:56 PM Flag
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a nice outfit that they can wear at 9 mo- a yr. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:46 PM Flag
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Pottery barn has great hooded towels that can be personalized. Get one or two baby sized and one for older sibling. I have done this and families thrilled. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:15 PM Flag
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these are great [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 06:04 PM Flag
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Personalized step stool, collection of board books, outfit, classic teddy bear [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:19 PM Flag
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Great personalized step stool is excellent. Many things like blankets and books will be duplicates because he has a big sister. Maybe a brio train set to grow into? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 02:28 AM Flag
[ - ] Recommendations for places to go hiking w elementary aged kids within an hour from Lower Manhattan, please. TIA 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:31 PM Flag
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The Thain family forest in the New York Botanical Garden in the Bronx [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:33 PM Flag
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https://www.nybg.org/garden/forest/ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:33 PM Flag
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or Inwood Hill Park [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:35 PM Flag
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Palisades Park in NJ. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:06 PM Flag
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Harriman State Park in Tarrytown [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:47 PM Flag
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Forest Hill Park in Queens or High Rock Park in Staten Island. for Queens, you have to go to Eddy's Sweet Shop for ice cream. It's old and has great flavors and toppings. https://www.yelp.com/biz/eddies-sweet-shop-forest-hills-2 Recommend the marshmallow topping. And if you go to Staten Island, go to Joe & Pat's for Pizza - https://www.joeandpatsny.com It's my favorite old school pizza by far. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:53 PM Flag
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There is a good loop at Van Cortland Park. But fall weelend mornings and early afternoons can be tough because it is used for cross country races. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:55 PM Flag
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North Woods in Central Park [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 12:45 AM Flag
[ - ] Asking for my husband... My husband has a child with previous marriage. He does everything right, he makes the calls, he tries to see her as much as he can, he pays the child support on time, he sends the gifts.... But his ex wife hold back important information about the childs well being, location, travels, schooling, ect... basically everything. He isnt told until way after the fact if at all (for SOME things). Trying to get the ex to answer his calls or facetimes is a fight. Is there some kind of legal thing we can do ? I personally have never been divorced and I have only had one child with my husband so all this is foreign to me. I just feel sad bc hes just so amazing and they just dont allow him to be a dad. Thanks for the info! 30 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:42 AM Flag
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^^ OP: someone posted this on FB.. I will post any reply on that post. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:43 AM Flag
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Well right there then you know that second wife has bad intentions. Who posts something private like this on FB? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:09 PM Flag
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+ 1. Tell her to get out of her DH and his ex’s business. Most likely she is ow and really wants to piss off ex and destroy little kids life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:16 PM Flag
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Post a link to the thread [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:09 PM Flag
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Why did he agree to the custody arrangement that allows this? He could have had 50:50 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:45 AM Flag
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He probably had joint legal custody. Rare not to have it. It is not ok what the mom is doing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:15 PM Flag
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If he had wanted shared physician custody, none of this would be happening. He wanted mom to do all of the work and be his liaison to the school and everything else. She is apparently saying f that. OP doesn’t suggest she is denying any visitation. Merely that the dad sees the DC “as much as he can” and sends gifts. Doesn’t sound like he even has regular visitation and may have even moved away. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:43 PM Flag
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So what? Just because you don’t have 50/50 physical doesn’t mean your legal rights are taken away. If the mother doesn’t work for example may be a better schedule. I’m sorry. I’m a single mom and I prefer that to when I had 50/50. I don’t keep my ex out of the loop. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:55 PM Flag
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No. If you are not an involved parent, it’s unreasonable to expect your ex to treat you like a spouse with a job that makes it hard for you to be around. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:58 PM Flag
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Break the law if you want. Not having 50/50 physical custody is something that works for many people. If you limit access to your kids and their lives to aboatent that has joint legal you are breaking the lawyers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:32 PM Flag
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What? If the mom was breaking the law, OP surely would have mentioned that. It’s pretty clear that the dad is absentee and looking to blame the mom. The post reads as though the dad no longer lives near the mom and DC so can’t physically go to the school himself or see the DC on a regular schedule. However, OP boxed herself in by pretending to post on someone else’s behalf so can’t reapond to provide info. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:49 PM Flag
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Not responding to FaceTime. Joint legal custody men’s making decisions about health care and education. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:25 PM Flag
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np: These aren't "breaking the law". They are breaking a contract. Massive difference. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:29 PM Flag
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It is more serious that that because a judge hasn’t to sign off on this. Custody agreements aren’t a simple contract. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:02 PM Flag
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You aren’t familiar with custody agreements. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:26 PM Flag
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NP: this - this person has no idea how custody works in NYS - I fought hard for 50.50 court wanted to give me 20/80 - after $150K in legal bills and 5 years my ex agreed to 30.70 and it ended. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:23 PM Flag
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How old is dc? Can he reach out to her? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:03 PM Flag
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He should receive all the mailings from the school that the mother gets. That’s one issue that should be easily rectified. I would also think he could get some requirement for regular communication w the child via a court order. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:28 PM Flag
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this is good advice. he should also join the PTA and ask the PTA secretary to send all info to him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:55 PM Flag
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Post a link to UB. That person seem like trying to blow up her DH’s relationship with ex why post something like this on FB ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:34 PM Flag
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THIS. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:09 PM Flag
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It’s not necessarily mother’s job to update dad. He should be in contact with school, medical providers, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:47 PM Flag
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That seems really impractical (doctor is supposed to return two sets of calls and speak to two different parents separately? Good luck) - but nevertheless the custody agreement should detail how this is meant to work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:08 PM Flag
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This. Whether impractical or not, custodial parent not responsible for being admin to the one who isn't. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:08 PM Flag
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He needs to have a lawyer write a letter to the principal of the child's school and to the child's pediatrician saying he has a right to receive all records and communications and be included on all decisions, invited to all conferences, etc. Then he should follow up with a friendly phone call or email to the teacher and doctor's office staff. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:08 PM Flag
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Sounds like there's no official custody arrangement. Do they live in the same city? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:54 PM Flag
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They have a custody arrangement and whatever he signed, they are both legally obligated to comply with. If she isn't, he knows his legal options. Tell him to call his attorney. The reason he isn't is that you are believing the limited perspective you're seeing. I'd love to hear the mother's side of this... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:08 PM Flag
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Just to shed light from the other POV-- i live alone with my daughter. Her dad is a very good dad but sometimes he really gets on my case about something I didn't tell him and it was something I considered minor and he considered major. An example-- a little campout overnight at her school. They were sleeping there that night in tents. It just slipped my mind to tell him until the day of, and it made him really mad. So, my suggestion (which might be beside the point): Maybe they need to really spell out the things she needs to communicate with him, and also how facetime will work. My two cents, good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:55 PM Flag
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as someone said above, there's nothing stopping the Dad from providing his email to the school, PTA, class parent, etc.. so he gets all the school notifications. I was in a position at dc's elementary school where a divorced dad reached out to me to get info, and I was happy to provide it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:56 PM Flag
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np- I suspect this is the case as well. Ex-h may be shifting all responsibility for legwork/updates on mom. He is creating more work for her. He can do it himself. All schools, doctors, etc. will directly notify of events if he requests. It is not the responsibility of an ex to take care of other parent's calendar. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:05 AM Flag
[ - ] I’m 32 & dating a 54 yo. He seems to like me but doesn’t text everyday. Is that related to his age? Or is he not that into me? dating 4 months. 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:41 AM Flag
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Why date an old man who isn’t nice to you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:43 AM Flag
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Why date an old man who isn’t nice to you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:43 AM Flag
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He could just be busy. I'm not a big texter for reasons other than making plans. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:45 AM Flag
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He's too old for you, period. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:46 AM Flag
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Hi, I'm the 30 year old who was wondering about dating a 48 yo. I went out with him and the age difference felt like A LOT even though he was attractive and in shape. What do you see in this guy? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:48 AM Flag
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hopefully he has something major to offer you!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:58 AM Flag
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I'm 56 and can't imagine being with anyone in their 30's. I'd be too much of a fuddy dud. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:59 AM Flag
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well, my dh is younger than me and he was similar in that he didn't like to be in touch when we weren't together. may just tell him you need to touch base with him more. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:06 AM Flag
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Could be age. I'm 53 and wouldn't text anyone every day. I use texting to communicate information when necessary -- not to chat. If people who are dating text all day, what do you talk about when you're together? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:33 AM Flag
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I’m 50 and sometime my 58 year old DH seems too old. Find someone younger! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:39 AM Flag
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OR: The age difference may ultimately be a problem. I'm just saying that his not wanting to text idle chit-chat isn't abuse or a sign of dislike. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:03 AM Flag
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Yes texting everyday seems excessive [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:25 AM Flag
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Why are you dating an old man?!? I'm 45 and feel like my 50 year old husband of 15 years is too old for me-- [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:44 AM Flag
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that's crazy. you're both old bags at this point. 45/50, no difference there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:47 AM Flag
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Thanks (56yo here) lol. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:53 PM Flag
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Lol. 56 too. While I agree with your '45/50 is little difference' premise, I take exception to the old bag thing. I hope you'll be 56 someday. Talk to me then about whether you feel like an old bag. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:58 PM Flag
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lol. PP- I'm joking sort of about our ages-- we both feel old. I can NOT imagine being 32 and doing a 54 year old. she was a daddy or $ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:03 PM Flag
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That is a major difference in age and life experience. You must be after his money. There is no other reason. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:13 AM Flag
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But, you know, there's nothing actually wrong with that. People have been marrying for economic reasons since the beginning of time. Money makes up for a lot of things, but so does being someone who made that money - who had ambition and became successful by age 54 with the means to share a life that has a good chance not to be stressed, at least not by finances. If he has money and she knows it, he wants her to know it because he knows that's part of his package. So relax a little. I married for money. The world did not end. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:47 AM Flag
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Some of us are fiercely independent and are ambitious and successful. By marrying men for money you are supporting the patriarchal system that overall keeps women down. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:54 PM Flag
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Fierce independence and ambition won't get everyone a high salary. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:11 PM Flag
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Money isn’t everything. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:32 PM Flag
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I'm not a texter, why are you so needy? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:14 PM Flag
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np: I think this is really generational and also personality driven. Some people see texting as another entire communication channel, a way to connect, vs. the brief exchange of info. They don't sound like a match. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:11 PM Flag
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you are chasing an old man. you are WASTING your last few eligible years. you'll look back at this time with major regret. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:48 PM Flag
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meaning, when its over in 2 years, there wont really be any single men your age left. you'll be stuck with the older ones who are divorced, etc. if you want a partner for life, you better get moving. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:49 PM Flag
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And now we got advice from the mom who last dated in the 60s. Thanks grandma! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:12 PM Flag
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go ahead and waste your time. Every woman has a few amazing single friends nearing 40 that never married, and NOT by choice. By then, theres no one even left to set them up with. If i were 25 i would roll my eyes at this...but Im 49. Ive seen it, and it sucks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 07:32 PM Flag
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Are you exclusive? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:01 PM Flag
[ - ] If you had nice quality cabinets that were a pecan colored wood, would you paint them? Thinking of painting them white. I have black granite counters and floors and stainless appliances. I have some furniture in my living room and bedroom that is similar in color to cabinets. But maybe white paint would be cleaner? 33 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:37 AM Flag
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no. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:39 AM Flag
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Thanks. I feel like pecan isn’t that dated. They are fairly basic with some simple crown molding at the top. If they were cherry or oak or even a dark wood maybe I’d paint. The pecan color seems less dated. Even though they are 17 years old! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:34 AM Flag
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I would love the white with black counters and floors [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:41 AM Flag
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Op: the thought of changing is sort of exciting as well, it is really the only thing I can do that won’t cost a fortune. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:35 AM Flag
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I like white and black. Will be fresher and more modern. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:59 AM Flag
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What style are the cabinets? I would not paint flat or Shaker style but would probably paint any sort of raised panel. I would be more likely to price out a new countertop and knobs/pulls. I like this look: https://www.thertastore.com/rta-blog/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/4-4-17_RTA1-Pecan_Shaker20170403-4-qetenf.jpg [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:45 AM Flag
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That look is very blah. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:05 AM Flag
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So is painted white cabinets and black granite (and I love white cabinets). I think the problem here is the granite. Something light and honed would be fresher. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:07 AM Flag
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Way too expensive. To change the floor I would have to remove all cabinets. Can’t change counters if I can’t change floor. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:27 PM Flag
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Why can't you change counters without changing the floor? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:28 PM Flag
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Because the floor is black granite. Why would I have a black floor and different counter? It is a small kitchen. having three different materials is too much. If the floor were the same as the rest of the apartment it wouldn’t matter so much. I started out wanting to change the floor and counters. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:37 PM Flag
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You can go ahead and paint the cabinets but I think the real problem is the black granite floor. Is it shiny? Could you have it etched or honed? And yes, three materials is fine. That's what most people have. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:58 PM Flag
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It is shiny and I hate it. Three materials in a small kitchen that opens into my foyer seems like too much for me. I will redo it all one day but today is not that day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:02 PM Flag
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What is honed? Thanks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:06 PM Flag
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Ok, so I personally would focus on saving up for the floor. You hate it and nothing will ever look good to you as long as you have to look at that floor. Do you want it to be the same material as the foyer? And I am struggling to understand why you would have to remove the cabinets to redo the floor. Do you mean that you would have to move an island? What is your long-term goal for the space? Would you be willing to try peel-and-stick tiles or a floor mat? Painting cabinets is a big step, even if cheap, and I wouldn't make that my first fix. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:28 PM Flag
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My contractor said it had to be waterproofed. I live in a condo. So many strict regulations. I am doing a total bathroom Reno right now as bathroom is original from 1930. Kitchen was updated 16 years ago so it isn’t as necessary. Things in the city are massively expensive and I’m not up for dumping too much money into removing a floor on a tiny kitchen. One day I will redo everything in the kitchen but today is not that day. Maybe I will look into honing. The shininess is what I hate the most. Could I home the floor and leave the counters shiny? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:02 PM Flag
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Honed is a soft matte finish. On black granite it kind of looks like soapstone. You can have polished granite honed in place. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:30 PM Flag
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That is so ugly. Nothing terribly wrong with black granite. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:28 PM Flag
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Different strokes. I think recessed panel dark wood cabinets and shiny black granite sounds pretty horrific. I'd be happy with the kitchen in the link but would change what op is describing asap. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:33 PM Flag
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Op: the cabinets are not dark wood. They are not dated cherry or anything. My pulls are not dated looking at all. I have all stainless. If wood and black don’t look good together then painting cabinets white is what modernizes it the ost. I’ve been looking at magazines and there are tons of black and white kitchen stuff. Itbis a look that never goes out of style. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:04 PM Flag
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I agree, but it's blah in large part because of the boring backsplash (i.e. white walls). With a cool tile or some stone as a backsplash, it would look much better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:02 PM Flag
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It’s awful and the floors look terrible with the cabinets. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:12 PM Flag
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The over the counter sink mount is still dated isn’t it? I noticed that in this picture. This looks like a bad garden apartment renovation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:14 PM Flag
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Cabinets are recessed panels, like this. This isn’t exactly the color, I like mine better, but close. The cabinets are solid wood including the boxes. http://www.kraftmaid.com/square-recessed-panel-veneer-2ng6-square-praline-suede/ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:12 PM Flag
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White cabinets show every drip, dirt, oil, etc. Same stuff that gets on all cabinets but it really shows. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:31 PM Flag
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I have white cabinets and dark green (almost black) granite countertops with travertine floors and backsplash. I love it. I think it’s a classic look. Op, what’s your floor and backsplash look like? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:42 PM Flag
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No backsplash and the floor is black granite tiles. I hate it but apparently to change the floor I have to remove the cabinets because it had to be waterproofed. Not up for spending that much now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:03 PM Flag
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The white phase will pass and then you will be left with painted wood. That is difficult to keep clean. I would leave the cabinets and focus on countertop. Are your floors and countertops really the same material and color? I can’t quite picture that [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:51 PM Flag
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Counter is absolute granite. Floors are black granite tiles. It is a tiny kitchen. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:06 PM Flag
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The wood isn’t the problem but steel/black granite is a very dark/masculine theme. I’d get two large light colored kitchen mats and wood butchers block to brighten the space. Teal or burnt orange accents (tea towels/teapot/cookware). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:39 PM Flag
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Thanks. I don’t thin I can have two mats. This is a small city kitchen. Like 7x8. I also don’t like leaving pots etc out. Because it is small it gets cluttered. One of the reasons I didn’t do a backsplash is there just isn’t a ton of space, and with a toaster on one side of range and a mixer on the other there isn’t that much of the backsplash area showing. and I hav a big hood for venting over my viking range. I do have some teal accents and a wood cutting board and a wooden bowl on the counter next to the sink. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:10 PM Flag
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White is always in for kitchens. And white is usually painted wood. What else would it be? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:09 PM Flag
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Lol. White has been "in" for decades! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:42 PM Flag
[ - ] Is it possible that an actor on broadway was making eye contact with me, or are they blinded by the lights and it just appears that way? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:04 AM Flag
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They're trained to make eye contact and engage with all of the crowd. Makes all of the audience feel like they're getting personal attention. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:10 AM Flag
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interesting! I assumed that it was a trick of the eye (lol) given the lights in their face. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:13 AM Flag
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You are either stunningly beautiful or just stupid or both. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:24 AM Flag
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np why would you say this? I notice peole on stage making eye contact with someone in the audience all the tim [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:27 AM Flag
[ - ] I know you are supposed to send thank you after interviews but if you don’t, does it eliminate you from the pool of candidates? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:03 AM Flag
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Now that I’ve interviewed a bunch and seen what my colleagues say about candidates and seen the thank yous, yes. But I never did! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:12 AM Flag
[ - ] Thoughts on this house? https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/71-Eastern-Point-Blvd-Gloucester-MA-01930/56043886_zpid/ 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:49 AM Flag
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Looks like something Fotis Doulos would build. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:56 AM Flag
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It is 100 years old though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:58 AM Flag
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on any given day, there is new money somewhere. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:06 AM Flag
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For comparision, here are his houses: http://www.foregroupinc.com/available-homes/ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:02 AM Flag
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Looks the same to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:04 AM Flag
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Wow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:06 AM Flag
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No need to say “wow.” The interior of the old house was completely destroyed and looks like Fotis style. Nothing historical is left. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:17 AM Flag
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It's a little overstated. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:11 AM Flag
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Can you imagine dusting all those concrete holes that the wine bottles are in? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:25 AM Flag
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I bet it’s haunted. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:40 AM Flag
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It's too big, I would feel like I was in a hotel. Nine bedrooms? Maybe if you have 6 or more kids, I guess. I don't like the rocky shoreline; if I was paying that much, I would want a real beach. If someone gave me that house, I'd sell it right away. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:41 AM Flag
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Lol gloucester has beautiful beaches. This is a stunning setting. And by Boston prices not bad for all the space. In Cambridge that place could be 20 million. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:51 AM Flag
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The interiors are sort of hideous, IMO. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:58 AM Flag
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Looks like a place Barnabas Collins would live in. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:59 AM Flag
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Good bones, some cheesy additions that need to be stripped away (can lights, mounted speakers) but overall better than most of the new build mcmansion junk posted here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:48 AM Flag
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Love to visit but wouldn’t want to live there or own it. It’s too close to the water. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:48 PM Flag
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FYI: It is commutable to Boston. (40 miles North of Boston.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:19 PM Flag
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[ - ] How do people find probono lawyers? What is the best way to find one? Should I call law firms one by one asking if they have probono lawyers to help with my divorce? 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:45 AM Flag
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Are you a compelling charity case? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:53 AM Flag
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What do you mean? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:56 AM Flag
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she means do you deserve help, I am CPA I do free tax returns for the elderly, had an old lady walk in who was worth many millions of dollars - and I had to tell her she needed to pay someone - she was pissed - probably why she was wealthy - but she was also a piece of shit [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:58 AM Flag
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You sound nasty [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:31 AM Flag
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No, she sounds real, honest and truthful [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:37 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:43 AM Flag
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this is how people get rich, by never paying for anything they don't have to. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:41 AM Flag
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OP never mentioned about her wealth [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:47 AM Flag
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Reply was to NP and her old lady worth many millions of dollars. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:37 AM Flag
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Huh? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:03 AM Flag
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Better odds with a Volunteer Legal Services agency. Most lawyers don’t just represent someone pro bono unless the person is indigent or there are compelling facts (objectively compelling, not just compelling to the person seeking pro bono legal assistance). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:56 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:11 AM Flag
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This. Don’t waste your time calling private firms. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:47 AM Flag
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This, for example if you are a starving artist, some organizations support the arts community by providing legal help for free to artists; if you are an immigrant or elderly there are groups that may be able to put in touch with immigrant or elder aid groups; similarly, anti-domestic violence non profits may assist clients with low fee or free legal representation for divorce. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:48 AM Flag
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Call a local bar association. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:32 AM Flag
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I did this. I just kept asking, and if they couldn't help I asked for referrals. I finally found one who was just out of law school who took me on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:33 AM Flag
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You do realize that a lawyer just out of law school has never handled a divorce and knows hardly any more than you do? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:21 PM Flag
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Pro Bono is short for the phrase “ Pro Bono Publico” Latin for “ For the Good of the Public”. It generally refers to legal work done without charge on causes that affect the public, like environmental issues, free speech, civil rights in a community, etc. What you are looking for is a lawyer who for some reason ( such as, s/he is new, has no clients and is hoping you will be able to pay something at some point) is willing to give you his time for free rather than charging you for it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:40 AM Flag
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Calling law firms asking for free legal representation is like calling doctors randomly asking if they will treat you without charge. Clinics exist for that purpose and someone may refer you, but a random medical practice doesn’t do this. Individual doctors may volunteer many hours of their medical services through organizations or causes that they choose, but not generally as a result of a random request from an individual calling the office. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:53 AM Flag
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It will be hard to find a lawyer to handle your divorce for free. Just as hard as finding a plumber to fix your pipes for free. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:46 AM Flag
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Huh? Why would anyone do that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:59 AM Flag
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Try your local bar association [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:28 AM Flag
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Also Legal Aid [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:29 AM Flag
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Some posters above gave you the best advice - call your local bar association. The NYS has association, the NYCounty Lawyers’ Assn, even the American bar assn, a national group. They’ll all direct you either to a roll of pro bono lawyers, or to their matrimonial sections, where pro bono help can be found. Don’t call law firms. Good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:00 AM Flag
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No they won’t, no such thing as a “ roll of pro bono lawyers” willing to represent a random individual in a divorce who just wants to save a few $$. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:18 PM Flag
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Most legal aid agencies don’t handle divorce, because they are relatively inexpensive and you can also divorce pro se. if you are a victim of DV, you should reach out to your local DV services agency- they may have legal resources. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:52 PM Flag
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Just hire a lawyer and pay for the services rendered. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:18 AM Flag
[ - ] Would you buy a house in the burbs without a bathtub? There are 2 showers. I'm not a huge taker of baths and my kids mostly take showers these days, but not having the option would bug me. 26 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:26 AM Flag
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can you install one? I'd be worried to have none at all for function and resale [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:29 AM Flag
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Nope, no room for a tub. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:32 AM Flag
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How is that possible? Someone really designed a house with no bath tubs and not enough room for one in the bathroom that the children are supposed to use? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:35 AM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:34 PM Flag
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Technically, there is a half tub on the 3rd floor which is a converted attic space. Big enough for a baby or toddler-but who wants to drag their kid up to the 3rd floor to take bath. It would not fit the smallest adult. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:21 PM Flag
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do You plan to ever sell? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:30 AM Flag
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Yes, I'd want to move once the kids were fully out of the house in about 12 years or so. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:32 AM Flag
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I wouldn't move anywhere without a tub, but I'm a big bath person, as is DH. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:33 AM Flag
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As long as there's room to put in a tub. Gotta have that for resale for young families [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:33 AM Flag
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No. My realtor told me people want one tub to bathe young children. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:34 AM Flag
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No. No room for a tub means very small bathrooms so in addition to not having a full bath vs 3/4 baths, the baths you would have would be tiny which people don’t want in the burbs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:45 AM Flag
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Not normally but if it is all you can afford then location is more important. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:54 AM Flag
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This. But know resale price will reflect this. Just go in with your eyes open. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:53 AM Flag
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Bathtub are out . Walk in showers are in, I have never once taken a bath in my tub. But they do seem to matter for resale [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:57 AM Flag
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every night after they gym for about a half hour with my book. you are missing out! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:07 AM Flag
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This is me, too. Specially in the winter. Boil up my bones. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:42 AM Flag
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YES! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:46 AM Flag
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Yes yes yes! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:09 AM Flag
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Same! Give me my lavender epsom salts, my book, and my little teak shelf, and I'll stay in there until I'm shivering! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:11 AM Flag
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different strokes for different folks. DH loves baths. For me, there's about 5 minutes when the temp is just right when it's nice. Then it's either too hot or too cold, and I just don't like sitting around in water that much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:06 PM Flag
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Nope. As I'm getting older, I find I need a bath every now and then (muscle relaxation). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:00 AM Flag
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wouldn't bother me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:02 AM Flag
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If there were room to put one if I wanted to or were going to resell, then yes, otherwise no. It will be hard to find a buyer w no tub. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:21 AM Flag
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Nope. I bathe at least once a week, kids still take baths and I think they are critical for resale. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:50 AM Flag
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I would never buy a house like that because my son still takes baths. It definitely affects resale. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:52 AM Flag
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Sometimes you need need to soak--sports injury, for example. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:52 PM Flag
[ - ] My 10 yo ds is so snarky and it’s really bothering me and also wondering where he gets it. We were watching that show A list and he said the counselors are “ cringey” like his teachers, criticed the “waste of my 20 minutes” on watching the show. Then I was showing him a pic of the town Boy Scouts in costumes and he goes, “looks like they shop at the dollar store.” That last one made me want to send him to bed and cut the WiFi for the weekend. He refused to do scouts and quit the only sport he liked recently to. And he’s 10 going on 40. WWYD to instill some humility? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:25 AM Flag
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Thinking a volunteer opportunity is going to be lining up this weekend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:26 AM Flag
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Newsflash! No-one wants to be "served" or deal with your privileged, snot nosed kid! He's not doing anyone any favors with his presence. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:47 AM Flag
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Stop giving him so much stuff. And such fancy stuff. Make him shop a the dollar store exclusively. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:32 AM Flag
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I have never derided the dollar store and I shop at Wall Mart and Aldis. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:38 AM Flag
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Maybe the kids he’s been hanging out with have been making this kind of comment and your dc has just picked up on it. Either way, give him a minuscule budget for something he needs, so he can only afford to get it at the dollar store. Then explain to him that you, as parents may be able to afford to shop elsewhere because you have worked hard to earn the money to do so, but he, as a non-earning individual ,has not even earned the privilege of shopping at the dollar store yet. So had best not disparage those who have. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:45 AM Flag
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Dollar stores do not sell what he "needs" such as iphone, ipad, video games, designer clothes and sneakers. Kids today... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:31 AM Flag
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Positioning shopping at the Dollar Store as punishment is unlikely to make him rethink his position on it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:13 PM Flag
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He's probably getting it from some obnoxious friend at school who he admires. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:33 AM Flag
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Does he watch shows on the disney channel? I don't know if they have gotten better but a few years ago I would not let my kids watch because the kids all talked like this on those shows. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:55 AM Flag
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This! My mother lets my kids watch Disney a lot and they copy that behavior. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:57 AM Flag
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I was going to ask EXACTLY this!!! When DD was watching Jesse obsessively the snappy/sassy comeback was her primary mode of communication. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:35 AM Flag
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Yes recently watched one of these teen shows, the kids were all so obnoxious [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:38 AM Flag
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The dollar store comment is rude but the others seem totally normal to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:00 AM Flag
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This. The dollar store comment is the only one I'd really react to. I wonder if that has something to do with knowing his parents wanted him to do Scouts (I noticed that you said he "refused" which implies he was being prodded a bit?) and feeling like he has to justify why he didn't or something. I would make clear with him that that was rude, and explain why and that I don't want to hear that kind of thing again. The other stuff is annoying and I'd say so but it's pretty common for kids this age to have an attitude and think adults are lame (and it's not this generation, I'm in my 40s and I remember middle-school-kids being awful). He's likely getting this from his friends and classmates. Tell him it bothers you but don't over-react. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:06 PM Flag
[ - ] are there any dating sites for lesbian moms? in NYC? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.07.19, 01:11 AM Flag
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If you find out, can you please share : ) I recently realized I’ve always been bi (maybe now lesbian?) but married to a wonderful guy and have two little kids. I’m just not attracted to him the way I am with women. It’s probably the hardest situation I’ve ever been in. Hope yours is much easier! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:50 AM Flag
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^and just to add, if I weren’t married I would try OKcupid. I think it provides the best options for actually writing about yourself vs just photos [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:52 AM Flag
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i am on OK cupid- so far.. ehhh- want to meet other moms.. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:15 AM Flag
[ - ] Sorry if this is a dumb question. Does the PATH train go from Hoboken to the WTC on Saturdays, or is there no service on weekends until the end of October? Thank you in advance. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:05 AM Flag
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There's no service to WTC at all over the weekend. You can take the PATH to Exchange Place, take a voucher inside the station, and go to Harborside Ferry to take a ferry over. I think the WTC station won't open until late / end of NEXT year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:07 AM Flag
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Also, they make exceptions for major holidays - like for Labor Day, the WTC station was open all weekend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:09 AM Flag
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You can take it to Christopher St, 9th St, 14th, 23rd or 33rd [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:10 AM Flag
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Oh, that’s a relief. As long as we end up somewhat downtown, we’ll be good. Thanks to all of you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:16 AM Flag
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NP: Just take the 33rd st train to Christopher St. (depending on where you're going), it's an easy trip. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:19 AM Flag
[ - ] Its been 10 years since my mom died. Man, doesn't get too much easier. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:04 AM Flag
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I'm sorry. It's been 20 years for me, and I still miss her. But it does get gradually easier. Or, you get more used to it. Sending you good thoughts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:05 AM Flag
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Thank you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:28 AM Flag
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Been about 4 for me. When she died my professor told me I'll never get over it, it will just get different. At the time I wanted to throw a stapler at her head, but she wasn't wrong. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:16 AM Flag
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Haha, right? It does different but not really better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:29 AM Flag
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Sorry for your loss. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:28 AM Flag
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i'm sorry. She must have been a pretty great mom that you feel this way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:30 AM Flag
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Thank you. She was great. Just paying her tribute tonight. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:38 AM Flag
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I mean this with sincere kindness... I am so happy you had a good mom. My mom died three years ago, and I haven’t missed her yet. I keep waiting for a single pang. I strive to be a person my children remember fondly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:25 AM Flag
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Same, and it'll be 10 years in February for me. The older DD gets, the sadder I am about it, because she is so far removed from the granddaughter my mother knew. I hate that they missed out on knowing each other longer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:36 AM Flag
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I'm so sorry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:05 AM Flag
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My mom recently had a health scare and I was a bawling mess at the hospital. I never expected to react like that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:33 AM Flag
[ - ] What jobs do the best DHs/fathers tend to have? 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:54 AM Flag
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Cops, fireman. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:01 AM Flag
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Maybe fireman but cops have high rates of divorce [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:02 AM Flag
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Cops have a high rate of domestic violence. Good luck going to his friends about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:13 AM Flag
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My mom’s friend was punched in the face by cop husband. He left her for someone else and had other cops stop her for trumped up violations during the divorce. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:33 AM Flag
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My friend divorced her violent cop husband, and all the other cops in her small town used to harass her, driving past her house at night, breaking things, scaring her, she ended up having to leave town. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:44 AM Flag
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Firemen have women throwing themselves at them all the time, "badge bunnies." Lots of them cheat chronically because women chase them like crazy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:09 AM Flag
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I don't know that this can be generalized, but I had no interest in high level finance or lawyer types. I have a great dh who is a great dad and he's in media. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:09 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:24 AM Flag
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Anesthesiologists. Dermatologists. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:12 AM Flag
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Anesthesiologists tend to be narcotics abusers. And dermatologists are always vain and narcissistic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:08 AM Flag
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NP: my DH is a dermatologist, they aren't all into cosmetics. DH works a lot with connective tissue disease. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:12 AM Flag
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I knew a dermatologist and he was very into fixing all blemishes and looking perfect [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:35 AM Flag
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I vote for my DH. He's a math professor- summers off, flexible schedule, lots of time with dcs, passionate about teaching and loves to spend time with them going on adventures and learning. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:07 AM Flag
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You are blessed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:34 AM Flag
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Those that earn a decent living, are stable, but also provide a good work life balance [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:09 AM Flag
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Can't generalize, but my dh is a great dad. He's a social worker. Doesn't make a fortune but makes enough. Works 5 minutes from home, came home for lunch every day when kids were growing up, always did lots of fun stuff with them. Home at 4:30, never works late or weekends. Very close relationships with dc's. But I think the bigger factor was that we were together a long time before we had kids and the years when he had to work two jobs and put a lot of effort into his career came before kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:49 AM Flag
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Public defenders! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:50 AM Flag
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Prosecutors are more fun. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:14 AM Flag
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Insurance underwriter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:37 AM Flag
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Anyone with enough seniority to leave to coach little league, attend school concerts, do carpool duty for sport practice. My kids play hockey and this week the rink was packed with "high level finance and lawyer types" at the 4 pm ice time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:55 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone know how I can get rid of/sell old crystal and silver? Feel bad just throwing it away. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:46 AM Flag
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Replacements LTD - definitely the go to for this kind of stuff, way more so than eBay [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:58 AM Flag
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Crap, I just donated a bunch of China. Forgot about this place. My mom replaced pieces from her own set from them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:35 AM Flag
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np I've sold a few things to them, but they pay very little. For sterling, sell on eBay and list the weight specifically (show a picture of it on a food scale or postal scale, to the tenth of an ounce). I sold a sterling cream and sugar set, and the buyer told me he would be melting it down and not to bother sending it in a box, all padded. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:38 AM Flag
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Is the silver sterling or just plated? If solid sterling, can sell by weight, just like any precious metal. If plated, it’s crap just donate or toss. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:59 AM Flag
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Crystal/ silver maven here: can you tell me maker and pattern of crystal, and silver? If so can give you an idea if it’s sellable for anything more than scrap value. Also, full matching sets? # of # piece place settings, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:03 AM Flag
[ - ] Stanford/Yale EA? Political science 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:00 AM Flag
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Doing what with that degree? Law school? Grad school? Check to see which one places more students in the relevant programs after graduation [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:33 AM Flag
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That’s a long way away for a high school senior. Any other suggestion besides grad placement? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:38 AM Flag
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They are both good in that way [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:38 AM Flag
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All things being equal, with an interest in political science, Yale. But that’s on the margin - surely your DC has a preference [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:43 AM Flag
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Old. Can’t decide. Likes both the same. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:44 AM Flag
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First word is nope. Not old [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:44 AM Flag
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Visit both and see which he likes. There's more to college than a major. Also apply to both and see where he gets in. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:47 AM Flag
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Done. Tie. Needs to pick EA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:40 PM Flag
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Look at things that affect college experience but are often overlook. For example, cafeteria food, temperature of dorms and classrooms, upkeep of grounds, professionalism, of support staff such as security, cafeteria workers, administrative aides, maintenance. Options in local shopping, culture, fast food, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:53 AM Flag
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There is no advantage in applying to Stanford early, so I would say Yale. RD Stanford. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:57 AM Flag
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NP: Why is there no advantage to applying early to Stanford? My son is a legacy at both Yale and Stanford. Want to play my car right. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:55 AM Flag
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4.3% regular admission at Stanford versus 9% early odds seems like a big difference, [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:59 AM Flag
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Very different locations. If all things are otherwise equal, does he want East coast or West coast? Where does he picture himself living as an adult? Law school or politics? Are both realistic? Are travel costs to come home a concern? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:04 AM Flag
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For most students, this would be a waste of an early decision application. It looks like Yale allows a student to apply ED II to schools that notify after January 1 though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:13 AM Flag
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Stanford and Yale would allow an EDII [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:41 PM Flag
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Terrible weather in new haven [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:25 AM Flag
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as my dad said 23 years ago, yale is the past, stanford is the future. he was right. personally, palo alto is a much nicer place to be in than new haven. it sounds stupid but having the sun shine a lot makes you happier. not up on it these days but when i was there stanford poli sci dept. better than yale. school has only gotten richer so i would assume faculty has only gotten better. also went from stanford poli sci to being trader on wall street although do well at either will set you up for the future. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:02 AM Flag
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Thank you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:42 PM Flag
[ - ] The oldest woman in history have both- thoughts?https://www-m.cnn.com/2019/09/06/health/india-woman-73-gives-birth-scli-intl/index.html 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:45 PM Flag
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I saw the post below too and still have no random thoughts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:46 PM Flag
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It's kind of crazy. They got married the same year as my mom and dad. My dad is currently writing my mom's future obituary as she is on borrowed time. Seems an odd choice to have twins at this juncture. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:53 PM Flag
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Her husband is 82 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:51 PM Flag
[ - ] We stayed at a hotel last week in FL and had an adjoining room for 16yo DD and 17yo DS. Hotel just sent a bill for extra cleaning and when I called they said there was vomit on the bedspread at checkout. I asked kids and DD said she got sick the night before we left but didn’t feel the need to tell me. Would you suspect a) bulimia or b) she was drunk? 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:32 PM Flag
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She was drunk. Bulimics are better at hiding things. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:35 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:53 PM Flag
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+1000. no bulimic throws up in their bed [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:31 AM Flag
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Maybe she was just sick? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:36 PM Flag
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Op: it’s possible, but very strange that she wouldn’t mention it at all the next day. Also, I know that she and her brother met up with some friends on the beach that night. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:42 PM Flag
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Well there's your answer. They met up with friends on the beach. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:43 PM Flag
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Drinking, duh. Vomit- teenagers [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:45 PM Flag
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lol. they spelled it out. someone brought alcohol and she drank too much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:07 AM Flag
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and agree that a bulimic would never vomit on the bed. they are expert at hiding it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:08 AM Flag
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Drunk. Bulimics don't just puke on the bedspread. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:46 PM Flag
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Drunk. You are lucky. What were you thinking?! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:52 PM Flag
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What do you mean? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:28 AM Flag
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It could be much worse [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:39 AM Flag
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I would go with drunk unless you have some reason to think she has an ED [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:56 PM Flag
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Drunk. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:36 AM Flag
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Drunkity drunk. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:12 AM Flag
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You put your teens of opposite gender in the same room? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:17 AM Flag
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In a hotel? Why wouldn’t you, and what would you do instead w teens? Not OP, but my brother and I are 1 yr apart and we’d have been thrilled to get our own hotel room on a family vacay and not be squeezed into one room w our parents. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:21 AM Flag
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+1 When we were 22 and 18 my brother and I shared a tent on a camping trip. We were each in our own sleeping bag. At this age, I would probably share a room but maybe not a bed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:29 AM Flag
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ignore. nothing weird about this whatsoever. it's weird you think it's weird. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:35 AM Flag
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Why? Did you used to fuck your brother? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:07 PM Flag
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Drunk. Why didn't she clean it up when she woke up? Sounds extremely bratty. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:02 AM Flag
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Did you ask hotel for proof? DNA testing? Maybe the maid did it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:38 AM Flag
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Her daughter said she was sick and threw up when the mom asked her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:57 AM Flag
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Somehow DD forgot to tell mom that she was drunk and somehow she forgot to remove puke from the bedspread. Go figure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:14 PM Flag
[ - ] My DD (9) found out today that she needs a brace for scoliosis. Anyone have any experience with this? There are worse things to deal with for sure but I’d love any experience you have to make this better for her over the next few years. Thanks! 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:17 PM Flag
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I had scoliosis and needed a brace as a child. One of the specialists recommended trying intensive gymnastics classes instead (3-4 times a week at least). They helped so much that I never wore a brace. I was diagnosed and started much younger though. Not sure whether it’s an option at age 9. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:28 PM Flag
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wow! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:46 PM Flag
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That’s great. Glad it worked out for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:58 PM Flag
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She's lucky. My scoliosis was never dx'd and I have a somewhat noticeable curve. Kid on our block had to get surgery b/c his was more pronounced and he became 2" taller afterwards. GL to your dd! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:37 PM Flag
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Thank you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:57 PM Flag
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My daughter has scoliosis and has to wear a brace. Join the FB groups (there’s a few — parents of kids with juvenile scoliosis etc). Very helpful community. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:54 PM Flag
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Thanks - I will do that now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:57 PM Flag
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My friend's dd had to wear a brace in middle school. She handled it really well (certain hours in the day she had to wear it, other hours she had to take it off). It fit nicely under her clothes and was not visible. She is in high school now and no longer needs, issues seems to have been resolved. I recall that it sounded scarier than it actually was. GL. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:04 AM Flag
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This is very reassuring, thank you. This sounds like what we were told - 16 hours a day in the brace. It doesn’t seem visible under clothing. She can still do all of her activities. I’m thinking she will complain because it’s different and that’s sort of her, but I’m hoping she adjusts to the new normal quickly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:31 AM Flag
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not personally, but a girl in my class wore one in middle ( and high?) school. she's a therapist now. i think that as hard as it will be, its ultimately character building. You have to see the big picture, even though she wont for at least a decade. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:10 AM Flag
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I hope so. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:32 AM Flag
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I think there is a Judy blume book about this. Might be fun to read?! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:50 AM Flag
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I will look for it. Thank you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:02 AM Flag
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It’s called “Deenie” [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:33 AM Flag
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Thanks again. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:47 AM Flag
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NP: There is a random pretty mature/explicit scene. Maybe not what you want for a 9 yo, or at least you might want to read it first. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:06 AM Flag
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Maybe it will be an opportunity for her to learn how lucky she is to be living in a time/ place/ family where medical treatment is available for her condition, so she will grow up with a nice straight back free to do anything she wants. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:48 AM Flag
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I agree and we talked about that a little bit - how it was disappointing and not what she wanted but that we are fortunate to have the ability to afford medical care (is good insurance), that it wouldn’t affect her life in huge ways, that her body is healthy and strong and she will be okay. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:59 AM Flag
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You are lucky you found it early. It kind of sucks but it is what it is. My daughter wore one. They are lighter and not as noticeable now. Make friends with the school nurse. Try both kinds of undershirts and buy her some new clothes that work with it. Just lots of hugs and pep talks. She will forget quickly when it’s over. The brace really doesn’t improve anything but it stops it from being worse. Eva Chen and Martha Hunt both had it. It’s more common than she thinks!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:12 PM Flag
[ - ] Fun place to take out-of-town guests for cocktails? Preferably in or near East Village? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:15 PM Flag
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Cool friends- Mono Mono. Older relatives- Goodnight Sonny. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:24 PM Flag
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Vandal isn't bad. Artwork is interesting (the artist who did the Obama poster has artwork inside the place). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:38 PM Flag
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The Standard, the bar at the Bowery Hotel (good for celeb spotting), B Bar, if you can make reservations at Please Don’t Tell, Death & Co., Angel’s Share [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:15 AM Flag
[ - ] Medical Question: my 79 yo mother recently passed out. I was not present. My drunk brother claims her heart stopped and gave her mouth to mouth. I brought her to the hospital, where she had an EKG (normal), chest x Ray and blood tests(no idea what was tested...were normal). They told her to follow up w her doctor who says it’s a non issue. She’s always been in good health, non smoker, relatively active and eats well enough. Any further testing needed? 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:02 PM Flag
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Your mom is getting older. There is no crystal ball beyond the test results. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:06 PM Flag
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Im not asking for a crystal ball. I’m asking if there are other tests that need to be completed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:10 PM Flag
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You are asking UB. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:40 AM Flag
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When I passed out randomly in my mid 30s, I also had a CAT scan and a test where I wore a heart monitor for 24 hours. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:12 PM Flag
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I had this too - and a blood pressure monitor. But nothing much came of it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:47 PM Flag
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Did they say it was a vasovagel thing? Blood sugar? Blood pressure? If all tests were normal, as scary as it must be for you, just take a watch and see approach. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:19 PM Flag
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Blood pressure was normal, not sure about blood sugar. I get that she’s old and shit happens, but also want to make sure that there isn’t something being missed that could be righted. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:27 PM Flag
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You only give CPR to someone whose heart has stopped; otherwise the heartbeat is confused. The EKG would have shown the "heart attack" and it obviously did not. Have your mother give you permission, in writing, to talk with her doctors so you can get an idea of what is going on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:28 PM Flag
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Thanks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:46 PM Flag
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Did she have a full blood work up? Anemia? Low blood pressure? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:39 PM Flag
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Think full work up. Normal [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:46 PM Flag
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Ok, but do follow up. ER are about stabilizing and making sure no one is dying You have to go to a doctor that knows you and can follow your health. Glad she's not seriously hurt. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:48 PM Flag
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She says sh \e followed up with her doctor who said it was a non issue. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:55 AM Flag
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She could have a cardiac arrhythmia. Sometimes they come and go, so it might not be caught. She should see a cardiologist. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:10 AM Flag
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yes - my dad has this happen and was eventually diagnosed with leukemia. find out what blood tests she had and make sure that they tested for cancer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:11 AM Flag
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Any and all cancers? Because she fainted? There are hundreds of types of cancer [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:45 AM Flag
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Is she taking vitamins or supplements? I believe too much Vitamin D caused me to pass out. All tests were normal ( and I ended up wearing a 30 monitor after the 24 day one.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:13 AM Flag
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You say she eats well enough, but could she be dehydrated and/or low in sodium and potassium? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:29 AM Flag
[ - ] 73 year old woman just had twins. https://www.cnn.com/2019/09/06/health/india-woman-73-gives-birth-scli-intl/index.html 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:02 PM Flag
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Idiotic and irresponsible [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:47 PM Flag
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How do you know it's irresponsible? Maybe they have plans to live with lots of extended family and everyone cares for everyone else kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:22 AM Flag
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Better her than me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:00 AM Flag
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I say better late than never. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:06 AM Flag
[ - ] Bank accounts for college freshmen - do they get checking accounts with paper checks anymore? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:49 PM Flag
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I still use checks for some things but if your kid doesn’t think he or she will need them, that’s their option. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:55 PM Flag
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Nope, checking account with debit card is what my dc has. Joint account so I have access. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:03 PM Flag
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I’d rather not have joint account. But I think checks come in handy at times. Just wondered if kids had them. Dc will have their own credit card, debit card. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:16 PM Flag
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How do kids put down deposit on apartments without checks? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:17 PM Flag
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Most apartments require a certified check for deposit. After that you can set up online bill pay.! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:16 AM Flag
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Same here [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:29 PM Flag
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gst the checks, if he needs them, then he has them. Discuss with him to keep checks in a safe place and all that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:46 PM Flag
[ - ] I put together a bowling night for an out of town sales meeting for a team I run and one of my sales reps - declined with a comment "what the heck is the matter with you?" I am not sure if I am offended. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:33 PM Flag
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Are you in NYC? Maybe he had a different vision of his night in the big city. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:35 PM Flag
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I am actually in NYC but it is a national team meeting this time in Ohio, we meet every 6 months usually go out to dinner and drinks, sometimes sporting events, was trying something new. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:38 PM Flag
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His loss. Bowling is awesome. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:39 PM Flag
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np That sounds fine. Maybe he sucks at bowling [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:39 PM Flag
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He sounds obnoxious. I guess I need to know more about the workplace culture before I judge if you were totally off-base. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:38 PM Flag
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most of the sales reps are lone guns, there is very little interaction with them [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:42 PM Flag
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"Lots of things, but not Asperger's, which seems to be your damage." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:43 PM Flag
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Petty, mean and nasty. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:47 PM Flag
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That's usually what I go for when people are rude to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:51 PM Flag
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Are there any people on the team w physical issues that would prevent bowling? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:04 PM Flag
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yes, but not him as far as I know [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:16 AM Flag
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is he the victim of a traumatic event at a bowling alley? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:06 PM Flag
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I'd go, sounds fun. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:39 PM Flag
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He wanted a strip club, duh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:40 PM Flag
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he sounds like an a-hole. I don't like bowling, but I'd go and have drinks and eat and socialize. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:13 AM Flag
[ - ] My DS who is applying to colleges this year and really into bilogy and wants to go to medical school. John Hopkins is not in his college list. Will we regret not including John Hopkins? If we will, we can add it, still have time. 40 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 09:58 PM Flag
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Why not try? What is his list? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:03 PM Flag
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in similar category, he has stanford, harvard, brown, upenn [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:14 PM Flag
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Yes. Add it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:26 PM Flag
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If accepted you don’t have to attend [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:27 PM Flag
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Ha ha ha ha. Is he a straight A student who took the most advanced classes he could, got close to 1600 on SAT or 35 or more on SAT, and did a serious research internship? Otherwise, no chance. unless there's some hook you haven't mentioned. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:49 PM Flag
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Parentnoua- stop feeding the flames [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:59 PM Flag
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What does this mean? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:13 AM Flag
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Parents being paranoid. Should be spelled parentnoia [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:41 AM Flag
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op: yes to all except for hook [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:02 AM Flag
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Is UPenn his safety? Lol. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:50 PM Flag
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op: no, I said 'same category' meaning statistically difficult to get into category [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:03 AM Flag
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What are his safeties? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:12 AM Flag
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Np why does that matter? It’s kind of rude to post that. His safety is problem some Es dream and then that will be argued [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:42 AM Flag
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It's probably a school like Case Western or Boston College. If he has an unweighted 4.0, took advantage of the advanced classes his school offers, and worked in an industry related to his major, and held leadership positions in his extracurricular activities, that would be appropriate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:27 PM Flag
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Your DS has nothing to lose by adding it to his list. However, if the supplemental essay adds significantly to his stress level, I wouldn't bother. When we visited Johns Hopkins, about six kids left in the middle of the tour...this didn't happen on any of the other college tours we went on. My sense is they concluded pretty quickly that it wasn't a good fit (and I'm not referring to academics). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:09 PM Flag
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What do you think they didn’t like? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:14 PM Flag
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what made them quit the tour? is it the social scene? what do you think? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:15 PM Flag
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I'm confused. It's August. Applications for RD aren't due for months. If you have $70 apply. There's no large question here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:15 PM Flag
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we try to visit before seriously considering to apply. ds already has 10 schools to apply and not enough free time left after school and extracurriculars. in short, there is plenty of time but he needs to use it effectively. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:23 PM Flag
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So you would rather spend like 2 thousand dollars and 2 days of your time to visit a school to save $70? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:30 PM Flag
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efficiently. Not effectively. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:30 PM Flag
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It’s September. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:49 PM Flag
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And... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:07 AM Flag
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OR said it was August. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:11 AM Flag
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I went to Hopkins. I loved my time there, but it is very competitive for those who want to go on the pre med track. There’s also great opportunities that may not be as easily available in other places. I would say they have to be drawn to the school first not just assume that it will be good fit because they want to go into medicine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:23 PM Flag
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op: great opportunities part makes me feel like JHU might be the place for DS, he's really into biology and related research [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:05 AM Flag
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If your son wants to go to medical school, he needs very good grades in college. In my experience, the grades themselves seemed more important than the quality of the class. Some of my classmates took Organic Chemistry in the summer at an easier college to boost their grades and it worked. Also, I noticed that you use "we" multiple times in your post. It is your son's college search and future. You might want to take a step back and be less invested in the whole process. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:29 PM Flag
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Oh stop with this bs. You aren’t fooling anyone. Parents drive ny kids to tours. Patents help with list - ensuring a financial and academic safety l, parents help exit essays. Stop pretending [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:31 PM Flag
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The name of the school is Johns Hopkins. If he is going to apply, you need to master the name. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:06 PM Flag
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Lol. Or at least he should [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:18 PM Flag
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Maybe he doesn’t want to live in Baltimore. It’s a fair point. Signed, grad of a different Baltimore college. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:14 PM Flag
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You wont regret it. They dont teach bilogy at Johns Hopkins. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:54 AM Flag
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Be kind. Poster is obv ESL. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:22 PM Flag
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I am a doctor and did not apply to Johns Hopkins. I didn’t want to live in Maryland. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:46 AM Flag
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johns hopkins [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 02:04 PM Flag
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If he didn't like Johns Hopkins, then there's no reason for him to apply. If he did, there's no reason not to. If you guys are worried enough about it that you're posting on UB, might as well just add it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 04:07 PM Flag
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I went to Hopkins for grad school. Worth applying but there are a couple things that would make me not want my kids to go there. Undergrad when I was there was cutthroat in a way that wasn't striving for excellence, but more naked ambition--I'm willing to cut you down in order to push myself up. Culture and social life seemed correspondingly bad. Also, lots of people want to go to med school there which makes it necessary to make higher grades if you want to go to med school to stand out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 05:48 PM Flag
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op: thank you. this (competitive environment) is what we've read about jhu and decided not to include it. I'm just trying to figure out if it was a right decision. hearing about cutthroat culture over and over makes me think it's better to skip for now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:05 PM Flag
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NP pre-med can be cutthroat in a lot of places that don't have a rep for it. I was pre-med and it was awful. I would not want my kids to go to a school KNOWN for it. It turned me off the whole thing and I went in to another area of science. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:30 PM Flag
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Any elite school is likely to have a cutthroat premed program within biology/chemistry. If he's serious (and sure) about med school, he might be better off going to a great but not "elite" college and going to an elite medical school from there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 09:57 PM Flag
[ - ] Double-space makes the UB posts difficult to read. I connect from my laptop, didn't try from phone. From laptop screen, the new double-space format made it difficult for me to scroll and read. WDYT? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 09:51 PM Flag
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For me, it's only in the Chrome browser. So I just use Firefox instead. Looks fine there. I guess Chrome made a change to their coding? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:05 PM Flag
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Happens on my Chrome browser at work. If I switch to another browser like Explorer, not an issue. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:12 PM Flag
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I'm using safari and it's fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:14 AM Flag
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I never noticed a double spaced UB version. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:25 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone else actually really love their in laws? My dad had a crazy family who was so mean to my mom so I think I internalized that because my in laws are literally the sweetest, most perfect people. My mom passed away in my 20s and I know how hard it is and I am just terrified of losing them too. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 09:49 PM Flag
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Good for you. Warm and healthy relationships are a gift. I have an unhealthy with my mom and my mil so I envy you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:02 PM Flag
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Aw I am sorry. They really are a gift. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:12 PM Flag
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Yep, love all my in-laws and hate to say it, but have a better time with them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:13 PM Flag
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I did and continue to, but our politics are very different. It's really hard right now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:16 PM Flag
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My in laws are great. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:50 PM Flag
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There’s no point in being terrified. You WILL lose them unless you die first. That’s life. Enjoy them while You can. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:05 PM Flag
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If I wasn't so close to my own Mom, I would think of. my MIL as my mom. She wanted me to call her mom but it just felt not right to my mom. I call her by her first name and she signs her cards " Your other mother." She has been a wonderful support for me and I love her son! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:13 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:42 AM Flag
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my MIL has always been a wonderful friend to me from day one. Never any conflict. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:31 AM Flag
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