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09.06.19, 20:24 PM General Topics
14 replies
Does anyone have a DH who automatically assumes you have shit for brains? I got invited to a NYRR focus group for the NYC Half (a race I had qualified for and ran). You get a New Balance gift cert for attending. I told DH about it; he said "you probably got invited because you shopped there." Like the assumption is the lowest common denominator. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 09.06.19, 08:24 PM Flag
 

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I had an ex DH like this. It's not so much shit for brains so much as he had so little respect for me. I dumbed myself down for him because he was insecure (I didn't realize until late in our marriage) and I had to sublimate myself to make him feel better about himself. Anything good that happened to me he'd made sure to attribute it to something else and anything bad he'd made sure to tell me it was because of my incompetence. After 20 years of being with the douche, I finally set myself free and have never been more confident or joyful about my life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 08:29 PM Flag
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Thank you for sharing your experience. I left a man who was awful to me in so many ways. It is incredibly painful to think I have remarried the same kind of man. In many ways, he is much much better, but I have stopped sharing information with him because I don't want to hear his response. I'm glad you got out and are now joyful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 08:31 PM Flag
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I'm truly sorry. It's tough to not be able to share freely with someone you're married with -- it becomes very lonely and honestly, heartbreaking. I think the entire dynamic of marriage isn't suited for me and have decided to never marry again. Once was enough. I date and maybe I'll find a longterm partner but my independence is too precious. I hope you find a different outlet (friends, work, family or organization) that appreciates you and thinks you're the best thing since sliced bread. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 08:53 PM Flag
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Aw, thank you! Yes if anything happens to him, I would NEVER remarry. I need my own equilibrium and peace. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 08:54 PM Flag
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Amen, sister. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 08:55 PM Flag
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No, never. Would never have married someone who does not respect me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 08:35 PM Flag
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This. Can't believe what I read on this board. Why did you people marry such losers? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:43 PM Flag
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Do you point this out to him and call him on it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 08:53 PM Flag
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Sigh. He's a grown man not a child. I've found that as one gets older it is incredibly hard, nay, impossible to change. I bet his dad treated his mother the very same way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 08:54 PM Flag
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That wasn't me (OP). Yes on occasion. I plan on choosing my moment and trying to explain to him how hurtful it is. Or doing the same to him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 09:07 PM Flag
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I had a boyfriend like this. His treatment of me got worse and worse over time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 09:06 PM Flag
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I don't know what he's like normally, but in this exchange it actually sounds like HE is being foolish/simplistic for not knowing how focus groups work and recruit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 09:10 PM Flag
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*Because, yes, if the group was for the store or NB brand, they would have recruited you off of a customer list. But because it's for NYRR, they recruited you off of their "customer list" (i.e. participant list). To me it just sounds like he doesn't get it, not that he's projecting lowest common denominator on you... but as I said, I don't have enough context into his personality to know otherwise. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 09:13 PM Flag
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My mom does this. Minimizes, invalidates, questions everything I tell her or do. So the only safe subject I will talk to her about is the weather. It’s soul crushing. Knowing Your mother is incapable of supporting you. She likes to tell me what I need to buy at the supermarket. When I tell her I’m not out of item A, she can’t accept I know how to run my own home. And she tells me I never put things in the right place, that’s why she thought I needed item A. She always has a way of letting me know that I can’t do anything right. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 09:44 PM Flag
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