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07.05.20, 01:52 AM General Topics
23 replies
I used to have tons of friends. Now, at 50, I have virtually none. My closest friends moved away, and I have not been able to make new friends from 40 on. The mom friends are fleeting or very surface friendships. I am so lonely and it’s as if the stages in my life where I had friends is over forever. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.05.20, 01:52 AM Flag
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

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Me too, the only person I have is my sister, she is a real treasure, better than gazillions of friends [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 01:54 AM Flag
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You are so lucky. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 01:55 AM Flag
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I'm 50 too. And I feel similar. I want more friends. I see women like me with school age kids and fulltime jobs who seem to have lots of friends. I feel like I don't spend enough time w my kids, dh, parents, siblings (4), Nieves and nephews. I feel very lucky to have so much family nearby (and all her along well), but there's not much extra time for friends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 12:45 PM Flag
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Have you reached out? It's hard to make friends but you have to be willing to risk (and receive) rejection. Then do it again. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 02:05 AM Flag
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Yes, many times. I don’t want to do it anymore. Why have others been successful but I have not? I am kind and funny. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 02:15 AM Flag
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I am like you. Which is why i am even more sad about UB shutting down [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 02:54 AM Flag
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I am as sad as you about it. Believe me. Why don’t you have friends? I had so many until 40. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 03:15 AM Flag
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np: I think it's a pretty common experience. People have no free time because they are working and dealing with their kids, their relationships with DHs and DCs take center stage and, they are more protective of their personal space and don't have the focus or enthusiasm for building other relationships. Friendships with other moms can get tricky if the kids stop getting along. I also think there's another angle that by middle age a lot of women have had bad experiences with friendships that fell apart and have become a bit more jaded. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 03:30 AM Flag
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Op— I am one of those people with careers, DH and DC, but still need friendships otherwise life is too sad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 03:37 AM Flag
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hi OP, I am exactly in the same situation... never felt so lonely. And yes, the fact that UB is shutting down is really difficult to take. I know it's just a board, but I could come here and vent, or ask for advice, or read what other women had to say, it kept me company. Sad, I know. I am also in a bad marriage, which only makes things worse. I wish there was a a way to start a new UB and just stay in touch... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 03:36 AM Flag
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Thank you for responding. I’m sorry you feel the same way. I hope someone can start a new forum for us. Sadly, I used this place as a replacement for all of my lost friends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 03:52 AM Flag
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pp - Yes, I did the same. Like you, I feel that I am kind and can be funny. Makes me feel like a loser at almost 52 to have no friends, but I try to remind myself that sometimes it's life's situations. I moved a lot too, that never helped. But the fact is that I am lonely and wish I could change that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 04:17 AM Flag
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I hear you. Me too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 04:44 AM Flag
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URBANBABY.NET : yes, it's happening! It will take me some time (a week? 2 weeks maybe) to set it up but I will try to set things so people can register on the site with their email - and then you'll get a notification once it's live. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 08:50 AM Flag
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I feel the same way. Wondering if men have similar feelings about this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 03:45 AM Flag
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I doubt it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 03:53 AM Flag
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https://gretchenrubin.com/2009/02/friendship-seven-tips-for-making-new-friends/ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 11:28 AM Flag
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For real, adopt a dog, even in NYC or big city and I would even say *especially* if you live in a big city. You will meet so many people instantly because dogs always want to interact during their walks. And you tend to run into these people again and again during your walks, and then you notice them in your neighborhood in general and they can become friends. Our social life has been multiplied by a factor of 20 since we adopted our young dog 3 years ago. It's been amazing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 12:13 PM Flag
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And you get to meet people from all ages, sexual orientations, social status, kids or no kids, race etc and all professions - it broadens your horizon dramatically. It's been a life changing event for us and our children. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 12:17 PM Flag
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NP I agree with this overall idea. I also met so many people through tennis that I never would have met. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 02:30 PM Flag
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Keep trying. I am 50 and always looking for friends. I have a ton already but always on the hunt for more cool people. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 05:10 PM Flag
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Take community college classes. I have been back in school for a couple of years and met so many interesting people at community college. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 06:39 PM Flag
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I find I have groups of friends and I make a point of scheduling things in my calendar and not letting them slip. So I have former work friends that I will meet for coffee every month or so. 2 friend from my my kids' old school. We do lunch once a month. I have a book club (but I don't think I would call any of them good friends). I have also made a real point of keeping up with my old friends from high school and university. Starting at 50 we all made an effort to go away together for a few days -- we all live far apart--and it was wonderful and reconnecting was actually very natural. so those closest friends of yours who moved away? they can still be emotionally close (even if they are not physically close). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.05.20, 07:00 PM Flag
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