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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] What's the deal w the new double spacing? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:10 PM Flag
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Looks weird [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:11 PM Flag
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That happened to me this morning. I was using Chrome and couldn't seem to correct it. Switched to Explorer and don't have the problem now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:12 PM Flag
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Someone just mentioned this the other day [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:16 PM Flag
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I'm glad it's not just me! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:18 PM Flag
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It's only in the Chrome browser. Pulling up the same thing in any other browser - IE, Firefox, Safari, even Opera - and there's no double spacing. I'm suspecting Chrome had a change, because I doubt the people at CBS would pay anyone to change any code at this website! (-: [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 04:15 PM Flag
[ - ] Poster who thinks my son has ASD. This morning, I was making kids' lunches, Sesame Street was on, turned around to DS clapping to the music unprompted! Seriously, one of the proudest moments of my life. I've never, ever seen him clap. I know it doesn't really mean anything, but I'm so psyched. I sang to him until we had to leave the apartment and he clapped every time. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:58 PM Flag
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Your ds is doing so well! So happy to hear this! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:14 PM Flag
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Yay! As the parent of a kid who is autistic, I want to tell you that you and he are doing great. No matter the diagnosis, just keep meeting your kiddo where he is and you’ll both be happy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:35 PM Flag
[ - ] Help!! I went for an interview. After talking to the interviewer , I did not like the profile or nature of work for the role offered. I think I cracked the interview. How to say no to recruiter politely. Interviewer was very interested to take me on board. Recruiter is calling me since morning. I want to be ready with my reason. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:44 PM Flag
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After talking with Xx And learning more about the profile and nature of the work, I’ve determined this isn’t a good fit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:48 PM Flag
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Or it’s apparent instead of I’ve determined [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:48 PM Flag
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Tell them that it isn't a good fit, be prepared to describe what you are looking for (you never know). Wish them luck finding the right person. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:09 PM Flag
[ - ] Sorry for asking again but my post got buried under spam: Where can I buy shoes/boots for toddlers in the Union Square area? I've purchased most of ds's shoes online but now he needs to be sized. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:23 PM Flag
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There are stores around there for certain brands (like Sketchers) but the only general shoe store I can think of is DWS. Google "kids shoes Union Square" and you should get some hits. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:25 PM Flag
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It's a bit east, but try ibiza Kids http://ibizakidz.com/footwear.php [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:29 PM Flag
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this. Have the owner size him. She's great. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:40 PM Flag
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Target. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:44 PM Flag
[ - ] How do you handle a "bread and butter" thank you note for a job interview if the interview did not go well, and you also don't think you want the job? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:13 PM Flag
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Don’t send one. It’s not required. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:18 PM Flag
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IDA. Who knows if one of the interviewers may still end up in your work orbit - better to send a TY and be seen as someone who finishes through, then one who drops at first hint of rough waters. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:20 PM Flag
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This. Just keep it short but thank them for their time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:22 PM Flag
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Or: I’ve received and taken job offers without thank you emails. I don’t think they are always necessary. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:22 PM Flag
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It's just a polite thing to do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:24 PM Flag
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Never inappropriate [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:30 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:34 PM Flag
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It's not about necessary. It's about doing more than the absolute minimum and letting people know you appreciate them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:42 PM Flag
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Just say thank you and it was a pleasure to meet them. Maybe add in another line referencing something you did indeed appreciate in the experience. Will take 5 minutes to send an email and no downside. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:55 PM Flag
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+1 whether or not you want the job is irrelevant. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:18 PM Flag
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+1000 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:36 PM Flag
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This would be a no thank you note. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 04:24 PM Flag
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Never limit your options! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 04:37 PM Flag
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Not that they'd remember you, but people change jobs and and you could see this interviewer down the road later in your career. I just like being more formal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 08:17 PM Flag
[ - ] What are he decent public high schools in the city that someone from the UWS would apply to? Not the schools that require top top everything, but the other ones? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:12 PM Flag
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Frank McCourt (located on UWS), Manhattan Hunter Science HS, Essex Academy, Park East HS, iSchool, Pace [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:19 PM Flag
[ - ] DH is a bona fide slob. Laundry graces the living room and front entrance to our house. newspapers pile up unless I move them to recycling. Cleaning up after dinner means putting most of the dishes in the sink, some stay on the counter. Bathroom towels and hand towels are thrown on the floor once used. Now my DC are becoming slobs, because DH thinks I'm uptight and controlling and want everything 110%, 24/7. I just want to use a kitchen where garbage is throw in the trash, and not on the floor. We had our 7,000 fight about it today. I can't change him. And I can't change my resentment that if I want to not live in a home that resembles a frat house, I have to do all the picking up. Help! 33 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:48 PM Flag
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Full time cleaning lady. You are not responsible for his mess. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:55 PM Flag
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This. If he won't live like a human being, you have to outsource the cleaning. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:20 PM Flag
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i agree here. that sucks, but probably necessary. i posted a somewhat similar post a few months back, trying to figure out whats falls within "role" of a P/T SAHM and what falls within roles of all other family members. one pp said something to the effect of handling laundry, dry cleaning, etc, but towels on floor, clothes, all over bedroom, and dishes in sink are not my "role" but the responsibility of the user. DH does think I am a little uptight with him and with kids, but i just blow him off and keep on yelling. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:27 PM Flag
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Correct, picking up after yourself is the responsibility of each person, however many women do end up picking up after everyone to satisfy their desire to not live in a dumpster, as it's difficult to change already formed habits of adults and also jump through hoops teaching children when the other parent isn't on the same page. Reality is, many women end up living in messy homes as they get tired of being everyone's servants, or they are loaded enough to hire FT help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:50 PM Flag
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"living in messy homes as they get tired of being everyone's servants" -- that's me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 08:33 PM Flag
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How’s the yelling working out for you? It seems the more you yell, the less some people listen. Try looking for times he does even one thing right and rewarding him in some fashion. It’s frustrating. My dh will ask me what I’m going to do today. When I say clean up this trash pit, he looks around and asks what’s wrong with it? And it’s not that he thinks I should do it; he tells me to go do something fun. They aren’t seeing the same room. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:30 PM Flag
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np. And if you can't afford one? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:35 PM Flag
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NNP: even if you cannot afford, it's a conversation that will help him think twice about his behavior. If it was me, I would find a way to afford it, if it meant cutting out other things. OP is not the maid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:40 PM Flag
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If you cannot afford one, you could end up like me - a converted slob, someone who used to be neat, but got so tired of being the only person who cares and doing all the work organizing, picking up, cleaning, etc, that I resorted to just walk over things and get used to it. I am no longer spending so much time maintaining a temporary clean condition. I did hire a weekly HK, as I cannot stand dirt, but she is of no help when it comes to mess and clutter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:52 PM Flag
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pp. I am you already, I do my best but refuse to get over-tired and cranky just trying to maintain temporary clean as you say. I just wanted to point out the how clueless that comment is, most people cannot afford a full time cleaning person. The ones who could, would not be coming to UB seeking advice. But I see a poster below has outdone this OR suggesting purchasing a second home. You have to love UB! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:58 PM Flag
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We have a cleaning lady that comes every 2 weeks. But she's not a maid. She washes floors and dusts and cleans the bathroom. I don't expect her to move clothes from floor to hamper, to pick up trash from the floor, or to wash 2 weeks of dishes. I think I just get so mad because when I raise it calmly, he tells me to ask. When I ask, he tells me he'll do it when he's ready. Three/4 days later, I lose my mind, and then I get yelled at for not asking like a normal person. It feels so manipulative. That I have to ask him to live in a way that acknowledges that other people live in the same dwelling. I'm trying to teach DC that picking up after oneself is a sign of common courtesy. DH doesn't see it that way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:40 PM Flag
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Are you me? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 08:34 PM Flag
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Wish I could help but have a similar problem. DH is pretty clean and actually is neat and clean with day to day stuff, but over the last ten years or so, he's become a hoarder and it drives me nuts. It gives me a lot of anxiety. I don't know how to approach. Don't want to be a whiner but at the same time it feels like a real problem. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:57 PM Flag
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Living with a hoarder is a problem. My exH truly was/is one. That is not the primary reason why we divorced but it was awful living with that. It's beyond clutter, it's insane thinking and a bad environment. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:59 PM Flag
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It started out innocently enough - as collectibles. He would still argue that the stuff comprises of collections but it has invaded normal living space and it now affects us all. It's not like the junk you see on Hoarders but I think it's the same underlying mental condition. It doesn't feel like a shared space anymore. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:08 PM Flag
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That's not as extreme as my situation but still doesn't sound great - you need to feel at home in your own house, and it sounds like your DH is prioritizing some "need" that he's filling with collectibles over you :( I'm not a psychologist, so I'll stop there, but maybe this is something you and he could talk about/try to get to the bottom of. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:17 PM Flag
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I hired a professional organizer and she helped a lot to declutter our stuff, but when it came to DHs stuff she assigned him "homework" to go over his items I could not be responsible for and weed things out. Guess where all this stuff is? Still here 2 years later in the box. You cannot change people seems like, all you can do is either isolate yourself by giving space to messy members of your family and making sanctuary spaces for yourself - you'd have to move to a house or a sprawling apartment to do this. Or, you can learn to live with it. I resorted to a hybrid solution, allocating my master bedroom as my sanctuary from mess, nobody is allowed to mess with it, I pick up DHs stuff he throw around and shove it into his closet, but everrything is hidden and the room looks neat, I escape there, I have a desk there and a TV. The rest of the place is a mess. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:57 PM Flag
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oh dear [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:58 PM Flag
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Pick your battles. Decide what is non-negotiable and keep calmly reminding them. I am in the same boat. For me cleaning up after meals is is a must, as is no dirty clothes on the bathroom floor. For the rest try to change your mindset - keep telling yourself that you do it for you, to enjoy a clean and neat home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:41 PM Flag
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And declutter, declutter, declutter! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:00 PM Flag
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Have you considered living separately, without separating or divorcing? You can move into a studio apartment nearby and have a clean, tranquil retreat where you can cook for the kids sometimes or help them with homework in an uncluttered environment, while setting the example of adult standards. When DH cleans up enough and changes the sheets, you can visit him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:44 PM Flag
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Her kids will feel abandoned unless she has space for them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:47 PM Flag
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If they're old enough to be slobs, she doesn't have to be concerned about their feeling abandoned. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:53 PM Flag
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Do you actually have children? Just NO. WTF [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 04:39 PM Flag
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I read about someone who did this on another mom board. But she did not leave her kids! She bought another house and lived there with her kids. Her husband ended up filling both their old house and then the house he inherited from his mom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:48 PM Flag
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Buying and maintaining a second home isn't cheaper than hiring FT HK, seems like there must have been other problems that prompted her to do this, not just clutter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:10 PM Flag
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yes, he was a hoarder [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:15 PM Flag
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I did this with our master bedroom, I put a desk there, so that I can work, and I have a TV there to relax at night when living room looks messy and I don't find it relaxing to sit there watching TV. We don't have cash for extra apartments or for multi-room apartments, we have a 2 bedr, but I do make sure I have my own space the way I want. Kids are not allowed there during the day, none of their stuff is there. DH's stuff is packed into his closet, I have my own closet. If any of his items clutters the bedroom, I throw it into his closet, I don't bother organizing it. It gives me sanity from the rest of the apartment that seems to be hopelessly cluttered and messy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:02 PM Flag
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+1, my bedroom is always clean and tidy, I love sitting there at night. It gives me the feeling I can control at least one part of the house. I keep the bathroom in perfect condition too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:05 PM Flag
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This seems a little extreme for the situation. Maybe start with a cleaning person. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:38 PM Flag
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The floor?? Wow. Dh and I are pretty similar but we fight about nuances. Your dh really has to grow up a bit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 08:18 PM Flag
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Have you tried incentivizing instead of nagging? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 11:29 PM Flag
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I am your dh, well not that bad but I’m the sloppier of us two. First, try praise rather than criticism. Second get a cleaning lady and start asking for help “keeping it this way” from family. It was marriage saving for us. Cut somewhere else. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 11:55 PM Flag
[ - ] My 11 year old forgets and loses everything. I’m getting extremely frustrated with her. She’s been in school for 3 days and she’s lost her schedule, school shoes, and left phone at home today. I’m really at my wits end with her. This is an ongoing problem. Thoughts? How can I help her? I’m getting annoyed and she can tell. 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 11:53 AM Flag
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A table by the door where she can leave all there things for the next day? A check list at the door? My 2 kids seemed to go through this at that age and got better. But it is frustrating. It may seem that they are careless but it's a little developmental too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:14 PM Flag
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NP: Agree. One thing I require is that DD packs her bag every night and there's an area for it. I also probably irritate her with my reminders but over time, she has become more conscious of things. Keep in mind, OP, that for years, kids have everything done for them and then all of a sudden they have to take responsibility. Best to slowly guide them and they'll get the hang of it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:18 PM Flag
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Op: thanks...this makes me feel better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:17 PM Flag
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*their [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:23 PM Flag
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She lost her shoes at school? What did she wear home? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:16 PM Flag
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likely gym sneakers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:23 PM Flag
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ok that makes sense, although I've never heard gym shoes called school shoes. If there is a pair of shoes lost at home that were worn only this week, that's a housekeeping problem, not a kid problem. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:31 PM Flag
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Op: she wears sneakers and leaves her school shoes at school. She wore her sneakers yesterday and put her school shoes in book bag to leave in her locker. She didn’t put them in the locker. And now lost them somewhere (not at home). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:17 PM Flag
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She has poor executive function skills, but these can be taught. My son does too and we make ridiculously detailed list for everything. A checklist of what needs to be in his bag every morning and one he can reference for when he comes home. Last year his teacher and I both looked at his planner everyday to make sure he wrote down all his work, test, etc. This year he wants to take responsibility for this himself, but if he slips we will go back to the old way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:59 PM Flag
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Op: funny thing is that she takes ownership of certain tasks like her school planner. She enjoys writing down dates and making lists. Normally the lists are for special situations (not day to day tasks). Maybe I need to be more proactive about it with her? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:21 PM Flag
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11 years is old enough. Make her to do one small chore for each lost item. Plus buy everything in double quantity for time being. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:22 PM Flag
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Op: that’s how i feel sometimes too but dh likes to make excuses which is pretty annoying to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:34 PM Flag
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It might be ADHD. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:25 PM Flag
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Op: I’m pretty sure it’s not adhd. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:34 PM Flag
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My kids both have inattentive type ADHD and they are very different from each other. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:41 PM Flag
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Normal kid stuff. If you are gone when she gets home she sits down unpacks and gives you forms permission slips etc. at the end of the night you sit down again, think of what meds to be packed and pack. I used bright orange (jacks99) bags for clothes and shoes in backpack. Hard to not see. I put papers like permission slips and $ in gallon ziplock bag - again east to find in messy backpack. You just find a manageable system and make it a habit (which takes longer than you think). It’s like any other skill she needs help from you and practice. Remember -tou are trying to give her the ability to take in the workforce and to train her own kids. It’s more about skill than shoes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:37 PM Flag
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Good advice! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:46 PM Flag
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What you are describing is a clear deficit in executive functioning, but is it normal for middle schoolers? Very normal for some on the extreme end of the spectrum. Their brains are working on other things. I tried so many things for my older son - like when picking him up from school, he had to show me everything. Backpack, lunchbox, jacket, homework. Every single day. Also there is no way he would have kept up with different shoes for PE - he wears shoes that work for PE to school. In the end we have like five lunch boxes for two kids and the kids just take whatever we have until we run out and then they take their lunches in ziplock bags and we find the lost lunch boxes at school and bring those home. My 14 yr old finally has stuff down but my 10 yr old is still a work in progress. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:42 PM Flag
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Also they have checklists for everything. Written checklists so I am not having to tell them the next step all the time and reminding them constantly. One of my kids likes to write in his planner. The other one - it has been hard to make that habit. GL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:43 PM Flag
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Had she ever been responsible for any of her stuff or this is the first year you insisted on it? My kid is younger, but it's the babysitter who picks him up, she does everything for him, unpacks his bag, puts out the stuff for me on the table to later go through. I pack his bag at night for the next morning. Being used to having others do things for you isn't a way to learn quickly how to do things yourself, so give your DC some time to adjust if your situation was similar and you did all this for her before. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:06 PM Flag
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This was me. I remember feeling SO stupid when this would happen. And my mom didn’t help. Work with her to give her skills to get organized and cope. I had to figure it out myself as an adult, but I still have the fear/lingering absent mindedness in me. Its actually forced me to become a very organized adult. I live by very detailed to do lists. And checklists. PPs have had good suggestions. Work with her to make a list of everything she needs every day, and put it where she’ll see it. And tell her to train herself to look at it 4x a day. It’s easier to find something when you know you have it at 12, and it’s now 2. Versus discovering it gone at 5, and not knowing when you saw it last. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:30 PM Flag
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This is many, many middle schoolers. I trained mine to have everything ready the night before. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:49 PM Flag
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she's gonna grow out of this - it's normal. just let her be. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 11:46 PM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone have first hand knowledge of Birch Walthem, especially the high school. My dc may be getting counseled out of a 2nd tier school, so we are panicking a bit. He is very bright and articulate, but ADHD which can't be treated with meds bcause he's also really anxious. He is a great writer but has dicalculia Fwiw, he is socially fluid and gifted in that area. Do you think BWL might be good for him. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 04:21 AM Flag
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We looked at the HS closely for our DC who has a different set of challenges. They have some DCs with ADHD and they are upfront about not expecting the kids to be perfect, which we found very refreshing after being in a school that made our DC feel less than due to a chronic illness. From what we gathered, they offer a very structured and traditional environment and some of the teachers are pretty strict and tough, not out of meanness, but to help the kids stay in line / focused / organized. I think it can be a great environment for some kids. Don't know how it would work for an anxious kid: make him feel secure or would be too anxiety producing? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:21 PM Flag
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LREI ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:54 PM Flag
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Night and day different. Traditional vs progressive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:24 PM Flag
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You should learn the name-BIRCH WATHEN. Honestly, it's where a lot of counseled out kids end up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:39 PM Flag
[ - ] I need a gift for a 13yo boy. Into music, movies. Not sporty. Thanks 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:37 AM Flag
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Movie theater gift card [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:55 AM Flag
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What does he like? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 06:19 AM Flag
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Into movies how? Enjoys watching? Wants to be a director? Latter -get some good books. Former - gift card [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 11:01 AM Flag
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There are pretty good books for kids on making movies. Not expensive and fun to use. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:21 PM Flag
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I love the funny t-shirts on snorgtees.com. Something for everyone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:28 PM Flag
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popchart poster where you scratch off classic movies that you've seen [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 04:44 PM Flag
[ - ] WWYD? I volunteered my legal services to a bot for profit. They need to comply with a certain regulation and it’s actually rather important that they do. At. Their board meeting, one woman yelled at me as if I were to blame for the law. I merely recite it as it is. Her DH is the accountant of this organization and told her we shouldn’t comply. I know he is wrong. I have the statute right in front of me, everyone who can read knows we have to comply. I feel like quitting this place - I mean I tried to help them, they don’t really care, they doubt my skills (I have 2 ivy degrees and worked for big firms for many years), even though it’s really evident. They are not that educated, I am sorry but I have to say that. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:21 AM Flag
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^ the accountant (not a lawyer!) thinks he knows more than I do. What a joke! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:22 AM Flag
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It sounds like they just wanted a yes man in the job. I would see how it goes and resign if they don't comply [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:30 AM Flag
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Maybe you come across as condescending and arrogant, after all you have two ivy degrees and that are not that educated and it probably shows in the way you deal/speak with them [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:41 AM Flag
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Write a brief note explaining your legal advice ( as I mentioned during the Board meeting of x date and place, which you asked me to attend as a volunteer, attached is statute with which your org must comply), as well as your resignation from your volunteer position and attach a copy of the statute. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 04:31 AM Flag
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Do you think your attitude that you "have two Ivy degrees" (irrelevant here, but you sure need to make sure everyone knows...) and that they are "not that educated" has become apparent to them, and they are just sick of you and hoping you'll leave? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 06:21 AM Flag
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You should leave. You don't break the law. If they won't listen to you , you need to resign. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 11:38 AM Flag
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Yes, this is so crazy. They literally instruct me to find loopholes that don’t exist. They are so inexperienced that they think a lawyer can make anything happen, even bend the law for them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:16 PM Flag
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Run before the law catches up with them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:57 PM Flag
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then your job as their counsel is to educate them and respond to their questions. i have a lot of clients with less education than me (I do criminal defense) and i often have to explain that their understanding of the law is wrong. i am not a better person for knowing more about this, i just have different training, and my job is to help them make the most informed choice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:48 PM Flag
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Only your job if you are officially their lawyer. Since you are only volunteering, and they are refusing to comply with your advice, you are free to abandon them. And since they are so much trouble, much safer for you to depart with a cya memo then stay and fight with the fools. If they are too stupid to realize how lucky they are to have free legal advice, they definitely don’t deserve it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 12:46 AM Flag
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You could view not complying with a regulation as an acceptable business risk. What are the penalties for not complying? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:14 PM Flag
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Why is it important that they comply? Is it life or death? or is it this agency wants them to have this insurance, or pay this fee or register here or there? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:40 PM Flag
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What is a bot? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 04:39 PM Flag
[ - ] Schwartzman!!! 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:27 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:33 AM Flag
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5'7 guy who is giving nadal a run for his money [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:34 AM Flag
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Tennis? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:34 AM Flag
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yes! turn it on if you are into it at all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:34 AM Flag
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Thanks! I turned it off because I thought Nadal was going to win easily. (np) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:38 AM Flag
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It looked that way! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:39 AM Flag
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No, thanks. There is finally a little good coverage of women's sports these days. I support that, with the little time I have for sports tv. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 06:23 AM Flag
[ - ] I wish I had friends- I see people having “girls’ nights”, and I’m envious 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:20 AM Flag
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Why no friends? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:23 AM Flag
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In Girl Scouts we were taught, "To have a friend, you have to be a friend." Trying being a friend to someone who needs one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 06:24 AM Flag
[ - ] Ex has asked to switch weekends moving forth. He is resisting giving me a reason why he wants this. I don't mind doing this but his reluctance in giving me a reason is making me not want to.... Your thoughts? 28 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:17 AM Flag
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That's just being petty. If it doesn't make a difference to you, why be difficult? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:24 AM Flag
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Because I would give a reasonable reason if I were asking the same. Its about trust and transparency [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:26 AM Flag
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NP - you are no longer privy to the details of his personal life. Perhaps he has a new girlfriend who has opposite weekends as he does now. None of your business. YOu have to let go. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:29 AM Flag
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agree [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:30 AM Flag
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OP: Ok, I understand. I was just coming off from what I would do. I have always given valid reasons when asking for changes in custody schedule so wanted reciprocity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:34 AM Flag
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You don't owe him that now either :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:35 AM Flag
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Yes you are right [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:37 AM Flag
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Its still disappointing as it erodes good will [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:39 AM Flag
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It is a healthier boundary now that you are no longer together. if you are the OP (not clear) don't use the kids/visitation as a way to try to maintain a connection that is no longer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:41 AM Flag
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This! You do not need to know and should not want to know his business. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:46 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:38 AM Flag
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np: This is exactly right. I never provide reasons for my requests if they are reasonable. I also ignore his reasons unless they are exceptional (his parents unexpectedly coming to town/want to see dcs, etc). Our personal lives are none of each others' business. Healthier this way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:08 PM Flag
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How old are the kids? Does this switch affect holidays and bdays or are those set? In most custody schedules, who has which weekends resets several Times per year due to holidays and vacations. Is that not the case for you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:51 AM Flag
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OP: I really haven't looked at the schedule but the weekends resets after major vacations. It was just simply a show of goodwill to be forthcoming about reasons for request. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:16 AM Flag
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Maybe he wants to go away one weekend but doesn’t want to tell you. Are you in court? If so, he prob doesn’t want you to use it against him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:31 AM Flag
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It sounds like you might be trying to control him even tho you don’t have that right any more. Do what works for you. If it doesn’t work for you to switch then don’t. But you don’t get to use this to ask him personal info. That’s my opinion. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:34 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 06:26 AM Flag
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Me too. Do it if it is no big deal and don't if you have reasons. You wanting to know his reasons is not healthy for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:47 PM Flag
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Do the math on the weekends. What weekends is he trying to get? Holidays? Special events? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:02 AM Flag
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That or trying to sync up w new girlfriends kids’ weekends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:15 AM Flag
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OP: Just did, haha looks like he's trying to give me all the three day wknds or its a new girlfriend, which seems more likely. Then why not just be open about it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:27 AM Flag
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So whomever has the weekend also gets Monday if it’s a holiday? Do you have more than 50%? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:32 AM Flag
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*whoever [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 06:26 AM Flag
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Because it's none of your business [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:33 AM Flag
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THIS!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 06:26 AM Flag
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I would guess his current girlfriend has custody on those weekends or someone he is dating and he wants to have the same weekends free. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:31 AM Flag
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Or he wants to go away one weekend and doesn’t want to say that he’s going or where he’s going. Which he shouldn’t have to do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:36 AM Flag
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This. That is what my ex did. He wanted to do it immediately even though I had plans. I agreed but after I finished my plans. I don’t think he’d ask tonseitxh for a single trip. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:36 PM Flag
[ - ] Spin off of pregnancy hair loss: Anything to do about menopausal hair loss??? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:15 AM Flag
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Biotin helps somewhat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:27 AM Flag
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Take supplements--and also accept aging. Not saying you should give up, just accept that your body (including your formerly lustrous hair)is changing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:52 AM Flag
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omega fish oil, collagen [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:57 AM Flag
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Viviscal [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:13 AM Flag
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Is it genetic? Did your mother and grandmother lose their hair? I've been using saw palmetto for a couple of years, because the women on my mother's side all go close to bald by 75. I'm starting to thin in front (I'm 46), so I started taking 160mg/day. I take a photo every six months, and it looks to me like I have not had any good regrowth, but I haven't lost any more, and I do have more of the "baby hairs" along the hairline in the front (although that could just be cyclical). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 06:29 AM Flag
[ - ] I have a 4 year old and 20 month old. It is exhausting. All they do is fight when I'm around. Anyway, I work & was home with them today, sorta working from home. It got me wondering, would I dislike being around them so much if I wasn't working? I feel like I'm always anxious about work & times I'm home with them I'm never 100% there, they can sense it, I'm angry & I'm anxious about work. I've thought about staying home and selling my business but then I think I'd be miserable too. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:05 AM Flag
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working mom of 3 and 6 here - i wondered this for a long time and currently between jobs for a couple mos and at home with them with much more time despite intvs and mtgs. for me the answer is all those things are just as annoying and difficult but you may be slightly less frayed. not a radical transformation but obv the push pull of the WL balance is extremely hard on your mental health esp at this age. Keeping your cool is almost a ft job that doesn't allow for a ft job to do at the same time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:11 AM Flag
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you are right, keeping cool is a full time job! Good luck w/interviews & tiny kids. No fun! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:13 AM Flag
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Those are hard ages. Kids require a lot of patience and are needy for attention. I'm not sure you'd like giving up work to be around that all the time. It's almost weird to me that you'd think you'd enjoy it. GL! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:21 AM Flag
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Ask the 4 yr old what he would like and bribe him to be the good "older brother." if there is fighting, no reward. Toddler will follow his lead. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:36 AM Flag
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I have this problem too. I'm considering getting a coworking desk this year because I think it would be healthier for everyone if I could draw clearer lines. The expense (the space plus additional child care) would be hard but I think it would be temporary, until both kids are in school, and might really be worth it. On days that I am fully "off" I enjoy them much more and suspect that they enjoy me more too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:59 AM Flag
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I have 3, each 2 years apart and they absolutely drive me crazy to the point where I've started looking to work again (after 5 years off) because it's honestly wearing me down. The bribes, discipline, constant activity and outings, playgrounds, heart to hearts, lead my example talks do nothing to stop the bickering and fighting. It's just a constant thing that I'm hoping they grow out of at some point. So to answer your question, yes, I'm miserable too (sometimes). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 05:15 AM Flag
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You are putting in the time now. Your life will be easier in a year or two! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:03 PM Flag
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Thank you, and I hope so! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:47 PM Flag
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So you say you're honing your excuses that you want to give your husband, family, and friends when you quit work and SAH... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 06:30 AM Flag
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Yes. I was a working mom in a stressful line of business up until 4 months ago. I felt just like you. Now I have so much more patience, I’m getting to know them as people , and my stress levels have plummeted. I easily fill up my days and hope I don’t have to go back to a full time crazy position. I was always angry, so anxious, couldn’t eat, etc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:00 PM Flag
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You may need to create separation between your work and your home - I wfh and cannot imagine trying to work without a nanny/sitter - when I'm working I'm (for the most part) not with my kids. And when I'm with my kids I'm (for the most part) not working. My kids are now in school and I'm so glad I kept working through the early years. Hang in there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:22 PM Flag
[ - ] Twas the night before high school...feel like nobody is the family is going to get any sleep! 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:01 AM Flag
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My oldest starts 9th grade tomorrow.I can't believe it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:06 AM Flag
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My youngest starts high school tomorrow. :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:12 AM Flag
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Stupid question but why are schools starting on a Thursday. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:12 AM Flag
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It seems to always be the wednesday or thursday after labor day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:20 AM Flag
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My kids school starts Friday! Dumb! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:29 AM Flag
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agree [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:31 AM Flag
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Because of the teachers union. Up until about 10 years ago (and for decades before that) public school in nyc started on the tuesday after labor day. Teachers returned to their classrooms the Thursday/Friday before labor day. Teachers didn't want to interrupt their August vacations and bargained for not having to return until after labor day. So if teachers aren't getting there until after labor day, the kids start a couple of days after that. Dh is a NYC public school teacher and was keeping me in the loop of the process at the time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 04:30 AM Flag
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Sounds fair. Families would go ballistic if they were asked to go back to school before Labor Day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 06:32 AM Flag
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This. No one wants that. Also midweek gets everyone into the swing of things. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 11:40 AM Flag
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This ! Thursday is GReat !! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:56 PM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone here been following along with this child Eva, that fell off a gold cart and has been in a coma for 2 weeks? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:57 AM Flag
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My friend has been following. What's going on? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:58 AM Flag
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Basically the prognosis was grim from day 1, the family is huge into prayer/god/etc & it seemed like the girl was miraculously recovering. Now, it looks like she may very well never wake up. You can see the husband's latest update on instagram, it is @dugansherbondy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:01 AM Flag
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Link? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:01 AM Flag
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https://www.godupdates.com/eva-love-prayers-golf-cart/ that is the only "news" link I can find, you have to follow on instagram [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:03 AM Flag
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this is so awful. how did a fall from a golf cart end in this outcome? add 'never ride in golf cart' to list of things kids cannot do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:16 AM Flag
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OMG! My kids always ride the back of the golf cart/shuttle at our pool. Never again! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:37 AM Flag
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I am following too check their Instagram, so sad- I donated a bit [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:42 AM Flag
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No. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 06:32 AM Flag
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Ok, I was wondering what a gold cart was...poor kid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 11:40 AM Flag
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How old ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:57 PM Flag
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