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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Is there a cheap place to buy kids' eyeglasses -- sort of like warby parker for kids? DD has a nice pair, and she's generally very responsible and not likely to lose them or break them. But things might happen, so I'm wondering if I should get her a backup. Glasses are expensive though, and these would just be for wearing for a few days until we can get the regular pair fixed/replaced. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:54 PM Flag
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I order my back up pairs from funoogles. They are inexpensive and my DD loves them since she can switch out the frames. https://www.funoogles.com [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:55 PM Flag
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costco, walmarts, or eyebuy direct online) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:56 PM Flag
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Warby has kids glasses [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:18 PM Flag
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someone posted about glasses yesterday. it depends on childs precreption! costco and warby parker are great if dont need very high index lenses. 1.6 vs. 1.67 vs 1.74. I need 1.74 with my very high prescreption and both costco and warby dont carry 1.74. some targets also have reasonably priced glasses [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:24 PM Flag
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Yep this. I can't do it for mine but if you get the focal distance from your eye doctor you can order from zenni. I got backup pairs of glasses for ds there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:42 PM Flag
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When you order glasses online how do you know they will fit? Mine always need tweaking. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:26 PM Flag
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There is WP for kids! But Costco is under 100 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:49 PM Flag
[ - ] Ok ladies- I hear many of you who are just sick to death of your DH for various reasons. As soon as the school year begins that's also the case with me: I resent how my life is hit like a tidal wave while his basically is business as usual. Here's my question: how do you manage having sex with these people when you're so sick of them? I just can't. Which is a problem. Thanks for your thoughts on this. 50 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:48 PM Flag
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You fix all of the other stuff. Why is your life a sudden tidal wave while his is unaffected? Why didn't you make a list of all the things that need to be bought/prepped/done/changed, and asked him which half of the list he is doing? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:49 PM Flag
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OP: I find your accusatory tone downright adorable. Why a sudden tidal wave? Because I'm the mom. And the teachers communicate with the mom. And the mom reaches out when conversation needs to be had. And the mom plans the activities, organizes the pickups, plans the meals, buys the food. I could spend additional time making lists until I'm blue in the face (and now that much shorter on time)- he does the best he can but just doesn't have the bandwidth for even half of that list, unfortunately. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:06 PM Flag
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You allow this to go on. In our home, and all of my friends' homes, the fathers do their share, regardless of work and other outside interests. If you want it to change, change it. If not, get down off the cross, because we need the wood. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:17 PM Flag
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OP: OP: lol. I think that's just great for you and "all of your friends"- you are all just terrific. In this house, my husband will say (and mean!) that he's doing the best he can. He will literally say that, and I truly believe hi,. But, inevitably, it's just not possible for him to do it all, so I'm left holding the bag. It's just how it is: it needs to get done. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:33 PM Flag
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Whatever. You make time to get it all done. He could, too -- and he would, if you weren't there doing it all. You just want the credit, and you don't want to let go of domestic control. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:39 PM Flag
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OP: that's me. Credit-seeking, domestic control hog. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:52 PM Flag
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At least you admit it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:02 PM Flag
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np. OP, just ignore this poster. She, or someone like her, gets on to every kind of post like this to berate the OP and blame all the problems on her controling/credithogging martyr nature. So unhelpful. You're not the only one who has this problem. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:03 PM Flag
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OP: thanks, np. I don't mind. No one can be serious when that self-congratulating. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:14 PM Flag
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. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:50 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 06:35 AM Flag
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Take time off from the shit work not from him. He prefers the sex to chores obviously so you should follow his lead. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:31 PM Flag
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This. He obviously has time in his schedule, if he has time for sex. If he chooses to spend his time on things other than "a tidal wave" then you should, too! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:38 PM Flag
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OP: yep, that's a good point. Take sex out of the equation and he'd have a full extra 30 minutes on his plate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:54 PM Flag
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Which he could use to cook dinner, do the grocery shopping, or handle the emails with teachers and other parents. Tell him to pick one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:03 PM Flag
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More like 5 minutes which is OP's real complaint. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 06:17 PM Flag
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So sexist. "I'm the mom. I have to do everything related to childcare and housework." So much for the 21st century. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 06:37 AM Flag
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+1 If you don't tell him you are overwhelmed & need him to contribute, how will he know? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:19 PM Flag
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x1000 There is no way his job is so important and time consuming that he can't do the back-to-school shopping. Give him the list the school sent, and tell him to stop at Target on his way home from work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 06:36 AM Flag
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Why does OP have to be the one making the list in the first place? Duh [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:56 PM Flag
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I know it was the last thing that I wanted to do when all our kids were in the thick of school. I wish I had advice but I probably wouldn't do again what I did, which was to avoid him at all costs and hope he'd just go to sleep and forget about it. The marriage didn't work out great. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:51 PM Flag
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OP: thanks for this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:58 PM Flag
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If I had to do it over again I'd probably take advice of the posters below. Basically you do whatever mental tricks and make whatever arrangements you need to make, because it's that important to your partner. I didn't totally absorb that he didn't care how many other people were in the house, he wanted to have sex like we did when we didn't have kids. I didn't make the time for it and decided he would have to get used to a new normal ... did not work out for me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:04 PM Flag
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OP: thank you again. This has been my approach and we came close to it "not working out" so I'm trying but it's an honest struggle for me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:09 PM Flag
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I hope you figure something out. There's actually lots of advice out there on getting psyched up for sex. I just found it too late. GL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:31 PM Flag
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OP: there is? Interesting. So I'm not to only one who needs "psyching"! Thanks for this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:46 PM Flag
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I believe you might be looking at things backward. Sex makes the relationship better -- it isn't just something you do AFTER the relationship is improved. Try having sex daily for a week and see if you don't like your husband more. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:53 PM Flag
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1000+ signed-2x/day mom [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:01 PM Flag
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How? Just: "how?" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:10 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:00 AM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:51 AM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:51 AM Flag
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Lucky stiff [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:02 PM Flag
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bah duhmp bump. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:15 PM Flag
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OP: this is interesting, and a good point. Right now I resent him and find sex with him generally revolting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:03 PM Flag
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BTDT and didn't fix anything. Maybe if the sex is mutually satisfying? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:00 AM Flag
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THIS [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:49 PM Flag
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Mine didn’t work, but he used to at least get them from school. I called having sex “paying the babysitter”. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:56 PM Flag
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OP: this is helpful, actually. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:04 PM Flag
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Glad you took it in the right spirit. He is now my ex (for many reasons) but there are times you just have to put the aerobic workout on the calendar, as it were. I never feel like going; I'm always glad I did. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:29 PM Flag
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OP: HA! Another good metaphor! (note that I successfully procrastinated my way out of the aerobic workout too, incidentally) You're right. I need to adopt that attitude. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:55 PM Flag
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Glad to amuse! Think of me next time you "feel the burn". Ok -- don't. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 09:23 PM Flag
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haha (np). Now this will be stuck in my head forever. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 11:09 PM Flag
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IKR? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:00 AM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:20 AM Flag
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LOL - oh I can relate - can I and for the most part I love my dh and even say to him that this is making me want to f*ck him less. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 10:21 PM Flag
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Digital detox - stop emailing texting calling etc with him. Absence makes the heart fonder, ignorance is bliss, and so on. I try to limit communication to in person. If he goes into a topic that kills my libdio I practice Medium Chill, 180. Sometimes I'm gone when he's (and often the kids) are free. They get into habits to be self sufficient (like supper) and keep those habits when I return. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:04 AM Flag
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If ever there was a "marry in haste repent in leisure" mom moment.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 06:38 AM Flag
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That's just it - that replier only throws out that statement when it does NOT apply! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:19 PM Flag
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Couple of things. First, you say DH is doing the best he can, so why are you resentful then? I get it if he was lazying around or going out with friends, but if he is genuinely doing the best he can, I think you need to re-frame your thinking and appreciate his contribution. Secondly, simplify your life. Get kids to help with lunches in the eve. Scale down on activities. Plan your meals for the whole week and shop for the needed items once a week. Not sure what age your DC are, but mine started coordinating their own playdates in 3rd grade. I have 4 DC and WOH full time, so I totally get all the work, but if you make it a goal to simplify things, you will. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:33 PM Flag
[ - ] Would you take a 2 year old to Asia for vacation? He’s been on planes several times and does reasonably well, but these have only been 2-4 hr flights. DH found some good deals and wants to pull the trigger. I personally think it’s crazy. 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:37 PM Flag
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Is there a grandparent or someone he could stay with? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:39 PM Flag
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We took our DD to Australia when she was 3yo,. She did fine. The flight crew on Quantas was amazing thought with providing entertainment [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:41 PM Flag
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I don't doubt that the flight itself can be survived -- it just doesn't seem like much of a vacation for the parents, and the child won't remember it. We took DD to Paris when she was three because we had a wedding there and nobody with whom to leave her -- total waste of money. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:56 PM Flag
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bring an ipad, probably fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:40 PM Flag
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With one kids it's not too hard. You just have to the jetlag is real for everyone. But as long as you can roll with that, it's totally fine. We had a great time! Once I had my second child we went back and it's a lot harder b/c my kids seemed to have opposite jet lag schedules so someone was up 24 hours a day for a few days after we got home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:42 PM Flag
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No, I would not. 2-4 hours is not the same as 14. Plus when you get there, you have to deal with jet lag -- it's a 12 hour time difference. We took our first trip to Asia when our youngest was 5. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:42 PM Flag
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Yes, my bigger concern is the time change and how flexible your kid is while you’re doing touristy things and they want a playground. The flight is nothing, by comparison. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:44 PM Flag
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Can you all fly first? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:45 PM Flag
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Doubtful. Premium economy/business class more likely. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:52 PM Flag
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i travel with dc a lot and i would not, unless it was to go visit family. the flight will be tough, and dragging a 2 year old sightseeing through Asia sounds awful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:48 PM Flag
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Yes this is my feeling as well. We traveled recently and DS did great even with having flight delays and a long layover. Just totally rolled with the punches. I don’t want to press our luck though, lol. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:56 PM Flag
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I did this to visit family and Wow was it terrible. kid got sick, never adjusted to the time change, I was exhausted and unhappy the whole time. and the flights were nightmares. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:55 PM Flag
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Business class to Asia is pretty cushy. I suspect the time zone difference will be harder than the flight (which you can time to have dc sleeping for at least half of it - plus unlimited electronics goes a pretty long way). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:10 PM Flag
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Return jet lag from Asia is horrible - at least for our family. Did it when our kids were 12, 13. DH and I could barely hold it together, let alone parent a toddler. Have no idea what it would be like with a 2 y.o. BTW, going there, minimal challenge in adjusting, just really the return. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:33 PM Flag
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Why oh why would you do this to yourself? Asia is REALLY far. And the time change is brutal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:53 PM Flag
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Yes. Took 2 yo (and two older siblings) to Japan and we flew coach! We had a blast, they loved the trip, we're planning on going to India next year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 09:03 PM Flag
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But OP doesn't have older kids who would enjoy the trip/. Just the 2 yo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 09:08 PM Flag
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I'd still do it. You'll enjoy the trip. But I'm the "snob" who took my kids to Rwanda so ymmv. I don't enjoy vacations that are about vegging on the beach so that's not what we do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 09:34 PM Flag
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You're a unicorn. No one else is doing that. But you do rock. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:17 AM Flag
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You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din. Coach to Asia with three little kids? Ugh can't imagine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:46 AM Flag
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took DS to japan/singapore when he was 18 months. he was a good sleeper on flights and we sat business class which helped. he had a great time. he did better with the jet lag than we did. my parents traveled extensively internationally when i was a child- i don't remember the early years- but it definitely has had an imnpact on my life- the stories of the travel influenced our family narrative. we did europe, caribbean, this asia trip when had one DC, with 2, we did europe caribbean stopped after had 3rd. did spain last summer- mostly beach and day trips- and doing israel this winter- we will see- DCS are 10,7,4. with 2 yr old, can just put dc in stroller and go. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 05:22 PM Flag
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my maxim is no spending on travel with kids until they are old enough to remember! But then again, we have a great childcare set-up so we have been able to travel a couple of times a year as a couple (which I recommend as good for your marriage). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 09:17 PM Flag
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No; much too young. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 05:26 PM Flag
[ - ] Who suffers from heartburn? I am new to this ailment and just wondering what it feels like for others. do you take prescribed medicine or OTC? What triggers yours? I just ate a banana and it’s right in the base of my throat. Anybody have any old wives treatments or home remedies? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:32 PM Flag
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I have all kinds of GI issues. When heartburn flares up, I just take Zantac which helps temporarily. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:34 PM Flag
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I did mostly because I did everything wrong (had strong coffee for breakfast with no food; ate spicy foods; waited too long to eat). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:58 PM Flag
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Are you seeing a doctor? I wouldn't self-dx this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:11 PM Flag
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I had it during pregnancy and intermittent fasting. Took tums. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:12 PM Flag
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I started having bad heartburn. I chalked it up to aging. Turned out it was H. Pylori. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:12 PM Flag
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Same as DH. Ask your doctor. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:29 PM Flag
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OR: my husband as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:36 PM Flag
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Used to use zantac and tums. Stopped eating wheat and a lot of it went away. Still can't tolerate citric acid, vinegar or chocolate. Use zinc to help your LES heal. Now, I just need a little tums now and then when I eat what I shouldn't. Staying upright after meals also helps. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:31 PM Flag
[ - ] What's a good small pet to get for my 9yo? She'd really like a turtle but they live so long. Just start with a fish? 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:29 PM Flag
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I recommend two female guinea pigs. They live 6-8 years. Very easy pets to have but cuddly and fun. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:34 PM Flag
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NP: me too. They do require daily attention and care, though (including keeping their pen clean), so consider the care involved when getting a pet(s). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:39 PM Flag
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This. And always at least 2 - they are social animals and they get depressed and neurotic very quickly if they live alone, to the point that it is illegal to own only one guinea pig in some countries. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:51 PM Flag
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+1. we have 2 pigs also. did that to practice and now we have dog too. i will say they are sweet and social but need regular cleanings or starts to smell like a farm. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:58 PM Flag
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OR: I didn't mean to downplay the cage cleaning, fwiw. We used to have guinea pigs but have rats currently, and they have the same cage cleaning requirement but also require more interaction (and won't just sit on your lap while you read, like a guinea pig). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:08 PM Flag
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We've had great luck with amano shrimp in a freshwater tank with live plants. They're super easy to care for and don't require much feeding, since they eat the mulm and algae, keeping the tank pretty clean. We have 5 in a 5-gallon tank and they're really fun to watch. They also don't breed in freshwater, like most other shrimp species. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:36 PM Flag
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Don't do it. Unless you can commit to a cat or dog, owning a pet is a) no fun and b) lots of gross cage/tank cleaning. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:56 PM Flag
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So that isn't you I saw picking up dog droppings out on the sidewalk? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:59 PM Flag
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Correction: it's no fun for YOU. It's tremendous fun for lots of us who love animals. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:08 PM Flag
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This. Does it take work? Yes. Does it bring joy? Yes. The joy exceeds the work involved. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:20 PM Flag
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hamsters are gross but you can play with them. they don't live more than 2 yrs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:11 PM Flag
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They can be biters though. There are many more congenial rodents. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:20 PM Flag
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true. mine doesn't bite but they are still gross! but a little cute [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:40 PM Flag
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Why are they gross? We just got one, she nips a little but I'm still trying to tame her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:44 PM Flag
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poop and pee is non stop. if you don't change the cage every few days, starts to stink [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:46 PM Flag
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np Guinea pigs and rats use a specific corner of the cage for their "toileting." You can put a small litter pan in the corner and change it out quickly and easily. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 10:06 PM Flag
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I would get a guinea pig over rats. but don't guinea pigs live a long time? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:04 PM Flag
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gerbil. They are desert animals so they do not pee much and thus don't smell like hamsters. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:12 PM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone else feel like 50% or more of their money goes towards food? Whether it’s restaurants, groceries, buying food out and about.. it’s crazy.. 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 09.04.19, 06:15 PM Flag
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No, we've got that expense pretty much under control. It takes some affirmative actions to make it happen though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:22 PM Flag
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Like what? Feel like it’s out of control here too. Np [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:25 PM Flag
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If we eat out, its usually only on Saturday evenings. DH and I both bring lunch to work. I have a coffee maker in my office (or I buy it from the cart guys). I definitely meal plan and like to keep bulk dry goods on hand at home. We belong to a food coop where we get a good discount. DD takes lunch to school. It's little things that can add up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:30 PM Flag
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Affirmative actions? Like, you eat equal percentages of food based on color? Ethnicity? hehe [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:46 PM Flag
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White bread is dirt cheap. Healthy brown bread? Not so much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:01 PM Flag
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cutting down on restaurants, carrying water bottle, and shopping at target/costco in manhattan have helped! Fairway and D'agastiono have high prices. I hear people like Trader Joe but there are not East 80s [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:23 PM Flag
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Yes. We eat out way too much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:23 PM Flag
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No, we spend $800 a month on food. Try establishing your budget first and you'll have more control. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:28 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:19 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:33 PM Flag
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"feel like" or it actually does? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:52 PM Flag
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Oh come on [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:38 PM Flag
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It's a valid question. Is OP's budget that out of control, or is she exaggerating and really not spending any more on food than anyone else, but doesn't actually keep track of the numbers so it seems like a lot? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:41 PM Flag
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Not at all. This is one area that is easy to control. Supermarket shopping on weekends, Costco for bulk products. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:34 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:41 PM Flag
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NYC is SOOO expensive for groceries compared to everywhere else [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:00 PM Flag
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It's the "food out and about" that will kill you. Just tolerate hunger and wait until you get home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:34 PM Flag
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Yes but I'm okay with it. We don't buy fancy clothes or go to posh gyms or do other rich people stuff. We spend on food and travel. And wine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 09:05 PM Flag
[ - ] Naturally curly hair here - has always been the thing that defines me. People compliment all the time, but it takes hours upon hours to dry and I never feel polished. Should I just give in and get keratin or something similar and start fresh? Thanks. 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:03 PM Flag
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I have wavy / curly hair - you have to be extremely committed if you’re going to straighten your hair, you won’t just magically feel “polished.” It’s a PITA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:15 PM Flag
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ITDA. My hair is naturally frizzy and unevenly curly. I do Brazilian keratin (original formula, 4% formaldehyde) every 4-6 months, and I get my hair trimmed every 6-8 weeks. I shampoo once a week, and I go from wet hair to professional in under 5 minutes. On the days I don't want to take the 5 minutes, I let it air dry and it looks "casual office". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:55 PM Flag
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I have curly hair - JUST BE YOU. EMBRACE IT BABY!! Ugh with straight hair being the "only way" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:17 PM Flag
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I've always wanted hair like yours so I could experiment with the curly girl method. Have you tried it? www.reddit.com/r/curlyhair [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:20 PM Flag
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NP: Thanks for this link! Buying all the products now!!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:42 PM Flag
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I'm excited for you! I have a little wave after a shower but as soon as I take a brush to it when dried, it just straightens right back out. I think shiny, curly hair looks so gorgeous. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:54 PM Flag
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I've recently gone more this method and my girls look great. I use all devacurl products though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:02 PM Flag
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For me, finding the right hairdresser was key. Where do you live? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:21 PM Flag
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I live on Long Island and have gone to every amazing ny curly salon and every hole in the wall recommendation. Can’t seem to get a good cut. Help!! I’ll go anywhere!!! Thank you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:05 PM Flag
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check the devacurl website. they list stylists that are trained in the devacut. Game changer for me. You can search by your zip code. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:06 PM Flag
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I am the OR. I also go to a deva curl stylist. But in the Bronx. Angela's Beauty Salon in Kingsbridge. Right off the Major Deegan. She is AMAZING [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:12 AM Flag
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NO are you crazy? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:21 PM Flag
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read up on how safe formaldhyde is [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:26 PM Flag
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sorry about my spelling [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:26 PM Flag
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Like most things, it is safe, if you use it right. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:55 PM Flag
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Even if you spell it wrong?!? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:04 PM Flag
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I mean, we'll make fun of you, sure, but safely. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:19 PM Flag
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Ffffew! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:30 PM Flag
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I went the opposite direction. I had been straightening my hair for years because I thought it made me look more polished/professional. But my hair was getting so damaged I decided to go back to natural curly. OMG it’s so freeing. It was a glorious day to be able to put away the flat iron. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:40 PM Flag
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Yay! Good for you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:53 PM Flag
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I have curly hair too and it is my "defining" feature. I get the drippy wet out by wrapping it in a deva towel or a t-shirt head wrap thing that I found at target. In a pinch you can even use a long sleeved t shirt. Just for a few minutes. Then I dry it with my devacurl hair dryer. Takes about 30 minutes? I never leave the house with wet hair anymore! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:58 PM Flag
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^^Oh and sleep with a silk cap on your curls. It protects them and I get much longer between washes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:58 PM Flag
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same. i just saw some photos my family did about 2 hours after i had washed it, and it looks awful, and i know it's because it was still sort of wet! how can it get dry faster? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 01:24 PM Flag
[ - ] What's the worst "expert" parenting advice you've ever received? 62 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:53 PM Flag
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If they're whining for something you can't give them--let them have it in fantasy. Like if they want cookies before dinner say "I wish we could have 20 cookies before dinner but no" This makes my kids blow up in rage. So demeaning. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:55 PM Flag
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Hah! I've always interpreted this advice differently - I used to really blow it up (while putting raw veg in front of them), like, "ok, let's imagine that you had sixty different cookies in front of you right now. What would be there? Oreos, chocolate chip, oatmeal... oh! Gingerbread cookies, cookies with m&ms [etc etc etc]... how would you choose which one to have first?" Long discussion about the order of eating the cookies. Etc. It wasn't "I wish we could have 20 cookies" it was more of a long chatty diversion. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:57 PM Flag
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Let your baby cry it out through the night, never bring baby to your bed no solid food before six months. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:56 PM Flag
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Agree - got all of this as advice, all wrong for our family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:59 PM Flag
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tho don't bring small baby to bed not so much 'bad advice' as you could kill it. this has happened to 2 families I know of. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:01 PM Flag
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Dig into the literature around bed sharing deaths - nearly all were the result of morbid obesity in parents and/or drug/alcohol use. Look into Notre Dame's Mother/Infant sleep lab research too. We evolved to sleep together - mother who *loves* to sleep alone with no one touching me, but still has kids crawl into bed [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:25 AM Flag
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I'm a new poster to this discussion, but I work plenty night shifts in the ER. That is when these cases come in, unfortunately. Many by well intentioned parents who are not obese or drug users, but I understand the inclination to want to believe this. These cases are really the worst. And on a personal note, a friend lost her baby this way. Autopsy showed no smothering. The child died of SIDS. And bed sharing is, unfortunately, a risk factor for SIDS death. Less air circulation is thought to be partly the cause. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:26 PM Flag
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Really? In Japan, almost all babies sleep with their mothers but i don't think there are any more SIDS cases than in any other countries. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:00 PM Flag
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Yes. https://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/news/20140714/bed-sharing-linked-to-sids [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:57 PM Flag
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https://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=170003 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:58 PM Flag
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Infants are babies but not all babies are infants. A bassinet next to our bed worked best for night time feedings but bringing the eighteen month old (baby) to our bed because otherwise no one in the house will sleep worked for us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:41 PM Flag
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This is true (ER poster from above). Bedsharing is most contraindicated under 1 year of age, but especially in the first three months of life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:57 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:00 AM Flag
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I don't think anyone has ever bothered to give me advice, they just pitied me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:01 PM Flag
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Same. It was trial and error all the way for DH and me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:10 PM Flag
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Not me, but a friend of mine who had an incredibly anxious, fearful child, was told, when he was 3 or 4, that she needed to "work through all the possibilities of what could happen" with him--i.e. what's the worst thing that can happen if the elevator falls, if you get locked in the car (which had happened to him already), if something happens to mom and dad. When he was 5, he refused to get on an elevator when they had a room on the 23rd floor (which he'd been going to all weekend, but apparently after they'd employed this "strategy" he got scared. Duh). So dad carried him up 23 flights of stairs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:12 PM Flag
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how is he now? My friends' 9yo would not sleep in their hotel room in NYC b/c it was on a 20+ floor. She has anxiety to the extent they can't travel on planes etc. (she'll literally say ""We're all going to die!" on the plane. Makes other passengers very anxious too) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:13 PM Flag
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He's now 20 (junior in college). They eventually got an asperger's diagnosis on him (I don't know if that is still a thing or if it's just autism spectrum now) in addition to his high anxiety. He was put on some meds for anxiety around middle school, I think, which seemed to help. While I don't think the strategy of discussing all the "what ifs" with young kids is at all helpful, I also don't thingk their anxiety should be ignored. I hope your friend's DD is able to talk with someone about her fears. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:21 PM Flag
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She just started therapy. I hope too it works. TY for your reply. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:22 PM Flag
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Oh god. Hopefully he grew out of it. My niece had a few years where she wouldn't do things like walk through puddles or meet strangers, and she whined about everything, but she fortunately straightened out okay. At least she hasn't kicked any more dentists lately that I'm aware of. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:18 PM Flag
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Dad carried him up 23 floors vs carry him INTO the elevator and let him cry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:21 PM Flag
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This. Wrong answer [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:25 PM Flag
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Yeah, that's exactly what I would have done, but I'm probably in the minority here. No way I'm walking up 23 floors when there's an elevator nearby. And no, I'm not fat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:32 PM Flag
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Same [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 11:08 PM Flag
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Same. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:24 PM Flag
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...but just realized DH would carry up the 23 floors. I guess it's good to have both kinds of parents as a kid! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:24 PM Flag
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My daughter has clinical anxiety and we have found this technique very helpful. It’s not “ what is the worst thing” but rather “what is it you are afraid will happen if you get in the elevator”. If the child says they are afraid it will fall you show them the emergency stop button and the call box. All the ways they can get help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:25 PM Flag
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That makes sense--maybe my friend's DS was just too young to do this at 4. It certainly didn't help him, although I can see where this would help another child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:33 PM Flag
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I think some therapists are better at explaining how to use this approach with kids than others. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:53 PM Flag
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And some people are better at implementing than others. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:25 PM Flag
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This is cognitive behavioral theory and I don't think it's meant for kids. I did it as an adult and it was still scary. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:44 PM Flag
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Pediatrician: "now that X is 8 months, able to hold a bottle, and has consistently been sleeping through the night, don't hesitate - if he does stir - to just give him a bottle in his crib and go back to bed." DH nodded okay and when we got in the car, I told him "no way." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:19 PM Flag
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That’s crazy advice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:21 PM Flag
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pediatrician and wife were TT socials folks and he was older. just think he was telling me to do what he did in order to party late night and make it to office next day.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:30 PM Flag
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np: Why? I did this - but with water - not milk. Worked like a charm and my dc who needed this has no dental issues whatsoever. Just normal braces. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 10:22 PM Flag
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Water may be one thing, but nearly every baby I know who did this with juice, breast milk, or formula had cavities, bite problems, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:29 PM Flag
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Not an expert, buy my MIL had some doozies. She didn't believe in breastfeeding or car seats, for example. From the day she first met DD (about three weeks old) she asked me EVERY TIME I SAW HER "have you switched to formula YET?" Twas annoying. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:30 PM Flag
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My mom did this. It’s like she was personally offended I made different choices that hers. We never used cars seats when you were kids. Yeah, mom. Child safety standards and laws have changed since I was an infant. Why don’t you have any formula? Me: (breastfeeding my third infant) because I’m breastfeeding. Her: I think you should keep some in the house in case it doesn’t work out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:04 PM Flag
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My dc used to throw huge tantrums in the morning and was late to school every day as a result. The pediatrician advised that if she couldn't get out the door in time, we should just keep her home that day, so she would learn that being late is unacceptable. (And, I guess, quit my job?) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:32 PM Flag
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Lol. Did that pediatrician have actual children of his own? Because all that DD will learn is that she throws a tantrum and gets to stay home with mom or dad. Which is likely a win in DD's mind. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:38 PM Flag
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No kidding. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:02 PM Flag
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HA HA HA HA HA!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:41 PM Flag
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Uggh...my dc's pulmonologist accused me of having Munchausen disorder b/c I was constantly in her office with my 2yo. He had severe asthma. Kicker is she went on to have 2 kids with their own asthma and she confided in me that she felt bad she minimized my distress b/c she was getting no sleep bc she had to tend to their needs . No kidding! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:13 PM Flag
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Omg [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:44 PM Flag
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Honestly I would have stopped going to this doctor [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 10:59 PM Flag
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wow. hugs. I have a 2yr old and another on the way - I hope I never meet a dr like this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 11:08 PM Flag
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MIL hates pacifiers but her DC sucked their thumbs until they were well into grade school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:35 PM Flag
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typical [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:56 PM Flag
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"All kids NEED a spanking from time to time", my mother. No, they don't. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 10:12 PM Flag
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Anything by Patricia Papernow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 11:59 PM Flag
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anything by Pamela Druckerman and her whole "french parents are better" bullshit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:37 AM Flag
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I loooooove PD! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:26 PM Flag
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lol, entertaining reading but based on my observation of french kids "they are just like us", they eat pizza and fries by the pool, throw tantrums and act just like any child their age. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:19 PM Flag
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I don't know if they're "just like us" but they have their own set of issues that are totally ignored by PD. Eyeroll. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:26 PM Flag
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To ignore your child when he/she is tantruming. That is emotional overwhelm and they need someone to commiserate and connect. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:00 AM Flag
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This plus cry it out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:59 AM Flag
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hmmm, DK on that or at least for us. our CIO experience was incredibly short lived. DS slept through night at three months and had a back slide at four months. ped suggested a small bottle of water for first night and no light/no engagement. DS cried for about 2 minutes then fell back to sleep. Next night DS woke up, whimpered, and fell back to sleep. Third night, nada. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:34 PM Flag
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I think with CIO, it works for babies who would have naturally learned to self-soothe maybe a few weeks later. It is not a panacea and doesn't work for other kids. It's just you never hear about the CIO failures. FWIW, dd slept through on her own at 4 months - I take no credit for it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:43 PM Flag
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I find all the "experts" annoying. Mostly bc my annoyingAF husband reads the books & then wants to condescendingly give "expert" advice when I'm about to freak the fuck out on the kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:58 AM Flag
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lol true [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:16 AM Flag
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When I was potty training my dd, I came on this board and got quite a bit of bad advice (as well as personal insults, since she was a few months shy of 3 at the time). One woman told me to get a potty chair, point at it and walk away. Another told me to let her walk around in soiled underwear to shame her. Many of my real-life friends told me to do the three day method, which set me up for a ton of stress, since it took more like six weeks for her to be reliably able to initiate use. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:30 PM Flag
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NICU resident on newborn preemie: “One bottle of formula won’t do her harm, and you get to sleep more”. Cost us 4 weeks in the hospital for bad reaction to milk protein. Would have been avoided had I just kept breastfeeding like I wanted. “Baby friendly” hospital. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:42 PM Flag
[ - ] what do you think of the practice of asking job candidates: please enter your minimum desired salary, numbers only? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:39 PM Flag
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LOL that “numbers only” part is funny. I usually respond “market rate, commensurate with my peers and job responsibilities.” [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:42 PM Flag
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like - it literally wont let you put text. It makes me crazy bc my answer to that in reality (not that i'd put this) is - it depends on the package, is there a bonus, is there equity, is there remote work, is there hour flexibility. It's not as simple as just a numerical answer and it strikes me as so arrogant bc you're throwing roadblocks at what could be good and worthwhile candidates. it's kind of disrespectful almost [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:47 PM Flag
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Agree - it’s a dumb question, I hate it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:47 PM Flag
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this this this! I took a fourth week of vaca rather than more money in a negotiation - with ailing parents faraway and DH's high paying job, i needed the former more than the latter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:21 PM Flag
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It is a way to weed out people before you even talk to them. They don't want to interview you if your salary expectations are not in their ballpark. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:27 PM Flag
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And that means it is not a company you want to work for. They are weeding themselves out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:57 PM Flag
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It’s the ridiculously lazy way that makes you say the first number. The alternative is on the screening call the recruiter shares the general range and you see if you’re on the same page. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:18 PM Flag
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If you talk to someone you can give a range of broad answer, but if you are applying on the website the numbers are required to submit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:52 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:56 PM Flag
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I put in 0 for the number. I’m not talking compensation at the candidate stage. I need to understand the role, etc. if that takes me out of the running I’m ok with it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:14 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:42 PM Flag
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I love my union job where the salary is stated up front and you know exactly what your coworkers and managers are making. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:39 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone do growth hormone for their DS. Mine is small and has low growth hormone levels. It’s bring recommended after a full work up, which is now complete. He is 11 and 4 feet 3. Oy. 30 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:36 PM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:55 PM Flag
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Did it work? Was it awful? Thx for replying [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:57 PM Flag
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we did not do so. 16 y.o. DS is now 5'5" and probably will not get get much taller. having some regrets. saw 2 endocrinologists and both indicated not necessary. just saw an old friend's FB post of her towering son and realize he must have done so as son is now nearly a head taller than rest of short family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:24 PM Flag
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not necessarily true. And unless he had a deficit (your child did not if the endocrinologists "indicated not necessary"), it is unlikely a doctor would do it -- these days they are very hesitant as it is considered "height-est" to give hormones to kids who are just short. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:04 PM Flag
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I am sure people find a way to buy height for their kids by going to private clinics or even overseas. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 09:08 PM Flag
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fwiw, their DS was always taller than our DS though his dad is shorter than DH. And their DS was already taller than his dad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:42 PM Flag
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bff has almost 15 year old ds who is 4'9." She has been fighting to get him on hormones for three years. Finally got an endo to say yes. He doesn't not have a deficiency, and parents are shortish (he is 5'8", she is 5'5"), but not THAT short. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:01 AM Flag
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Kid could have a growth spurt and grow several inches. Also FWIW I have male cousins who are about 10 inches apart in height. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:49 PM Flag
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He is 4'9" at 15. He ain't gonna have a sudden growth spurt. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:10 PM Flag
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friends daughter is 12 and 4 feet 5 inches. they regret not doing it sooner. girls stop growing much sooner than boys. latest est she might make 4 ft 9 or 10 max. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:29 PM Flag
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What?!? I was 4'3'' at that age and am now 5'4''. Girls don't all stop growing much sooner than boys - I was still growing in college. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:04 PM Flag
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wrong. Girls slow down radically after they get their period. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:59 PM Flag
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I remember that the first of my friends to get their periods ended up as short, but I got my period late (14) and grew another 1.5" after that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:37 PM Flag
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That's still not that much. Boys can grow a foot after 14. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:49 AM Flag
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and when did you start your period? please people, science does have answers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:43 PM Flag
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I'm sorry--it's a stressful situation. Dc did not have the shots and went on to grow to 5'9. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:14 PM Flag
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Dr here. These people who are responding who did not do it likely DID NOT have kids with low levels. Those folks are generally advised not to administer. But your child DOES have a low level. He will not achieve "normal" (meaning expected vis a vis you and your dh) height with our medication. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:02 PM Flag
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^^without [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:05 PM Flag
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I looked into it too late for DS. He ended up 5'9" but wishes he was taller. My friend's husband is very short (5'3) and the kids were pretty short. Doctor thought the girl was headed for 4;10 and the boy for 5'4". I made her go to a friendly endocrinologist and get GH or whatever they gave them. Girl is 5/1-5'2 now and boy is 5'10. So I would say if there is time to get your kid treated, you should do so. If I could go back to 6th grade and give DC GH I would. Not for me, but because I think he would be happier. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:15 PM Flag
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You think they would give your DC GH to be taller than 5'9"? 5'9" is average height for American male, actually it's 5'8". So, he is in no way super short, just not the one who would benefit from height-ism in corporate world, as apparently taller men get a bigger break in life overall. But doctors won't prescribe this to make your kid taller than avg, it's probably something you have to pay lots of money for like anything cosmetic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 09:12 PM Flag
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Dr here again. I don't know how long ago it was, but I know of no drs who will administer growth hormone unless the kid has a low count. I doubt a kid who reached 5'9" had a deficiency. With good reason, drs now will not just give your kid hormones because you are worried they will be short. Especially if the parents are short. They used to do it, but now no more (they used to give kids diet pills too). If the kid has entirely fallen off the growth chart perhaps, but otherwise, no way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:41 AM Flag
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So, where can you go to buy your kid GH to be taller than genetics would allow them? If doctors won't prescribe it, insurance doesn't cover it, does it mean there is zero way to obtain it in the US and you must go overseas? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:13 PM Flag
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All I am saying is that as a Dr in nyc who deals with kids (not an endo), I know of no drs and no insurance that will participate. Again, it is because such practices are now considered abusive to the kids. There are probably some shady guys who'll do it, but mainstream opinion is solidly against. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:12 PM Flag
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^^and fwiw, it's not a one-shot deal. It goes on for years (daily injections at home) and you have to have a very good supply. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:13 PM Flag
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But is it different in the case of OR whose kid is already normal height like 5'9", so not technically low or having endocrine issues, just genetically on a shorter side, and she wants him to be maybe 6', which does make a difference for a man due to heightism in society and corporate world especially. Does this still require a huge amount of hormone and many years of injections? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:32 PM Flag
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yes. It takes many years of injections and it is ridiculous and awful. Like getting your child a chin job because you think their perfectly normal jawline isn't super-sharp enough. V. screwed up of you, which is why doctors won't go along with this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 09:25 PM Flag
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lady, my son will be lucky to hit 5'5". you sound ridiculous. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:44 PM Flag
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Yes, we are in the same boat. Our 11 yo ds is about 4'5". We are monitoring him for growth and puberty (getting bone age every 6mo) with a pediatric endo. Not taking any action yet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:39 PM Flag
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Just say no to introducing hormones. One day you may find out that they caused cancer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:13 AM Flag
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my 10 yr old and 7 yr old are on and have been for 4 years. they have a genetic mutation that makes them short that GH is effective for - no deficiency. i also have it although genetic sequencing didn't exist when i was a kid obviously. GH has been around for a long time. There is a lot of research on side effects. you can look for yourself. actual shot administration is super easy. FWIW, DD is also short- like sub-5th percentile height but no mutation. Doc won't give her GH. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 05:16 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone have a boy/s in single sex middle and high school ? What are the benifits? Any cons? Thank you 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:33 PM Flag
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Both my boys did SS HS. Pro: school was all about things boys need in a learning environment--allowed them to be more physical, allowed them to act goofy because they weren't always trying to impress girls. Con: (according to my sons) There were no girls to impress :) (But school did have "sister" school, and both sons participated in joint school activities with girls). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:16 PM Flag
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Mine did K-8 in SS but by HS needed the co-ed interaction as it became obvious in the summers that he had hard time talking to girls. And he has a sister. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:28 PM Flag
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^^^the pros were school was geared to boys so lots of sports and physical activity, and they dealt well with limited attention span many MS boys have. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:29 PM Flag
[ - ] What’s your favorite exercise sneaker? And what do you do? Run, jog, kickbox, cycle, train, etc. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:24 PM Flag
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Asics. Running and HIIT/bootcamp classes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:30 PM Flag
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Brooks, run [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:53 PM Flag
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for classes, I have Nike Metcon, for running and long walks/hiking I have ON Cloudflyer's [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:00 AM Flag
[ - ] Looking to book an inexpensive family holiday in the sun in Feb 2020 during NYC public school Winter break. In 2019 we did Guadalupe on Norwegian and then AirBnB. Best holiday ever but Norwegian doesn't fly to the Caribbean anymore. Any suggestions? Thanks!! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 09.04.19, 05:09 PM Flag
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JetBlue. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:14 PM Flag
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Guadeloupe. Guadalupe is a Mexican woman. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:48 PM Flag
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have prices to the DR gone down yet? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:51 PM Flag
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Because....? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:26 PM Flag
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NP: A lot of people died under mysterious circumstances. Do you read the news? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:11 PM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone sent their dc to a language immersion program? Would love to do this for my ds so he could really learn Spanish. He will be 16 next summer. Any specific programs I should look into? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 09.04.19, 04:39 PM Flag
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Do you mean like study abroad for a year in spain? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:41 PM Flag
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Middlebury [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:41 PM Flag
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not for high schoolers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:57 PM Flag
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Np: Middlebury has a well regarded summer program for high schoolers [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:16 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:54 PM Flag
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I am looking for a program for beginner Spanish for a 16 y.o. 3 years of Latin, but no Spanish. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:27 PM Flag
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SYA (School Year Abroad) has an intensive immersion summer program in Zaragoza, Spain. SYA is highly regarded and fully accredited...it was originally founded by Phillips Andover, Phillipa Exeter and St Pauls. My DC has friends who have attended their programs and had positive experiences. www.sya.org/summer/sya-spain-summer [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 10:04 PM Flag
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Oops...I just read that students need to already be in level 2 or above to do the SYA Spain program. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 10:06 PM Flag
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Middlebury has an amazing program, the problem with it is that if your child is in NYC public schools, it starts about 2 weeks before the school year is over. Also look into Concordia Villages language programs. My kids did it several years in a row and loved it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:58 PM Flag
[ - ] Would you buy a house with no bathroom on the main floor? I'm looking at a gorgeous house in the burbs, 2700 sq feet, 1.5 million dollars. But you have to go upstairs or downstairs to the finished basement to use the bathroom. My kids are past potty training age, but I feel like that might be a dealbreaker. 56 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:33 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:34 PM Flag
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I guess I could live with it but is definitely an inconvenience. And not great when you have guests, esp older relatives visiting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:35 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:36 PM Flag
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Yes, with my mom that would have been a total deal breaker. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:29 PM Flag
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Is it possible to add a small powder room? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:36 PM Flag
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Not easily or cheaply. Very old house. Walls would have to be torn up to put in plumbing. Not sure I want to go through that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:39 PM Flag
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Is the second floor bath over the kitchen? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:11 PM Flag
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this would be my suggestion. Friends of ours added and teeny powder room to their older home--just a toilet and itty bitty sink in the corner. It's all that is needed really. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:40 PM Flag
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In a very old house there will most likely be surprises when you open up the walls. Op should factor that in - the costs can go way up very fast. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:45 PM Flag
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I wouldn’t do it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:39 PM Flag
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No, because I did this in the past and it was not worth it. Makes it much, much harder to sell your house in the future too. We had older family who evacuated to stay at our house and it was awful. They had to set up a portable potty in our garage. Never again. Pass on it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:43 PM Flag
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*** evacuated from a hurricane [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:44 PM Flag
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I find it hard to believe a 2700 square foot home listed at 1.5m doesn't have a main floor bathroom. Is that even to standard building code ???? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:43 PM Flag
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OP said it's an old house. Wasn't uncommon back in the day. My mom grew up in a five bedroom house with one bathroom upstairs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:48 PM Flag
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^^and building code isn't going to dictate the number of or the placement of bathrooms unless its a public space. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:52 PM Flag
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I could live in a house like that. I live in a 3 bedroom apartment with one bathroom so I am used to guests using my bathroom with all of my stuff in it. I have a nice medicine cabinet and put everything away either in that or under the sink. Nothing is in plain site. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:55 PM Flag
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That's fine, but is there enough space in the first floor, so that you can make one? My friends made one under the staircase in their old historic rowhouse, that was way smaller in SQ.FT than your home. I think if you really love the location and the house overall, you can make it happen and it will be worth it. The only thing you cannot change about the house is location, everything else can be rebuilt, remodeled, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 09:18 PM Flag
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I don’t dispute that. Just disputing that a house without a downstairs bathroom is not to code (I’m not OP by the way). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 10:50 PM Flag
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We have a home built in 1810 and there are two main floor baths... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 04:54 PM Flag
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Can you remodel and make it happen? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:47 PM Flag
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Deal breaker for me. Your guests have to go upstairs to the main bathroom with all of your stuff? Now way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:49 PM Flag
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Not in the suburbs, I expect supreme comforts from suburban lifestyle, otherwise, not worth the compromise. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:50 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:16 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 04:54 AM Flag
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Is the house priced accordingly i.e. is it cheaper than it would be with the bathroom? If it's a good deal - good neighborhood, location, schools I might do it and add a small powder room. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:50 PM Flag
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Link to the listing please [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:54 PM Flag
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My friends bought a house like this and didn't put in the powder room for 8 years. It was a complete pain in the butt. Whenever anyone visited (older) with mobility issues, it was really hard. Buy the house, sure. But build the bathroom sooner than later. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:11 PM Flag
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If there is an upstairs that means there is a space under the stairs where you could put one. I live in a historic neighborhood in Massachusetts and many of the Victorian homes here have triangular shaped first floor baths under the stairs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:17 PM Flag
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same in row houses in WDC [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:40 PM Flag
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and many in Brooklyn [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:05 AM Flag
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My Auntie needs one of those. She has a four-bedroom Victorian in Beverly with one bathroom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:42 PM Flag
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No. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:25 PM Flag
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no way [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:28 PM Flag
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No but my parents are elderly so they wouldn't be able to come over. A while ago a poster was complaining her mil wouldn't come over because there was no ground floor bathroom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:37 PM Flag
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This. Plus think of temporary ailments/injuries (i.e. if a guest or someone in the family breaks a leg, etc.). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:54 PM Flag
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some posters would consider that a selling point. ;) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 09:24 PM Flag
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No way. Absolutely no way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:42 PM Flag
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if you have guests or entertain often, having them traipse around the house would be annoying. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:47 PM Flag
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nope. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:09 PM Flag
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No, unless your options are truly limited. Our BFFs had that floor plan and it really sucked. They hated it and when they bought a similar house down the street (they loved the location), they squeezed in a powder room on first floor. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:39 PM Flag
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if your parents are elderly, and visit a few times a year, ity could be a problem. Im guessing that this house is WAY nicer than others in its price range for this reason. For many its a deal breaker. since theres a bathroom in the basement, i'd be ok with it, but id worry when my parents cane to visit. At a point, a flight of stairs is not an option. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:23 PM Flag
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that being said, i live in a tiny apt in NYC. Like another poster said, if you live out in the burbs, you want the comforts of it. You dont cut corners when u live in bumblef***, but in a big house. Otherwise, live in the city and compromise on everything but location like the rest of us! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:25 PM Flag
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Well, bumblef*** is a bit of an exaggeration. It is 8 miles outside of Boston. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 09:25 PM Flag
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Lol. I knew someone would get bent about that. My point is, if you actually lived in Boston you’d lose at least a bedroom. To live 8 miles away, you should get more for your money. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 09:32 PM Flag
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That someone is OP (i.e. me). And yes in prime Boston (Back Bay), 1.5 M would only buy you 1000-1400 sq feet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 11:40 PM Flag
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That’s my point. Living in the burbs should afford you the comforts. If you lived in Boston, you’d have to make sacrifices. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:55 AM Flag
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OP. Yes, fair enough. But in this particular burb, the only people who don't have to make sacrifices are people who have a budget over 2M. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 09:14 AM Flag
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I hear you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 01:05 PM Flag
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Can you add one? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 09:51 PM Flag
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I will bring my architect friend with me to the next showing to find out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 09:14 AM Flag
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Yes, I would. But I guess I'm not as fussy as some people. I also can't afford a 1.5 million dollar, 2700 sq feet house, so.....I'm not even in this category. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 10:16 PM Flag
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You'll get used to it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 11:57 PM Flag
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I would be fine with this. pretty common for older homes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:04 AM Flag
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NO. My brother has a house like this. SO annoying. It would be a deal breaker for me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:05 AM Flag
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My SIL has a house like this. She put in a tiny powder room on the ground floor. The sink is so small that it is laughable. If you're 15 lbs overweight you won't fit inside the room. They have one full bathroom upstairs. I don't know how they function. That is my idea of hell. Deal breaker for me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:21 AM Flag
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Never [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 09:51 AM Flag
[ - ] Broken wrist/surgery advice needed! I fell and broke my wrist (distal radius fracture), and the ortho told me that I'm in a grey area in terms of needing surgery. The bones are aligned so it's not a case where I definitely need surgery - I'm in a cast and ortho says the break would heal on its own - but the bones are together at a slight angle and surgery would align it better. (There's definitely a bump/bent area.) Apparently broken wrists are super common, so I'm looking for advice from people with this type of grey-area situation who've chosen surgery and people who haven't. Did your wrist heal as expected? Do you wish you'd chosen the opposite route? Any other thoughts/advice? Thank you so much for your help! 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:10 PM Flag
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Make an appointment with a specialist at the Hospital for Special Surgery and get a second opinion ASAP. The longer you wait, the harder the surgery will be if you need it. HSS is the best and I would take their word. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:40 PM Flag
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I second this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:44 PM Flag
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Seek a second opinion? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:51 PM Flag
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Second opinion and keep in mind that millions of wrists have been broken and healed in a cast and the surgeon earns his living by operating on you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:09 PM Flag
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My kid had this exact fracture. The first doc sent us to another ortho because she thought the X-ray was ‘cloudy"—her words. The second ortho said that he almost never recommended surgical intervention (I asked) unless there was a "gross deformity", which there wasn’t. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:03 PM Flag
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I worry about staph infections in hospitals, so no. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:10 PM Flag
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This. A bump on my wrist would slightly annoy me once in a while. Losing my arm to MRSA would put it into perspective. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:11 PM Flag
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dramatic much? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:27 AM Flag
[ - ] Do Princeton or Columbia offer anything like Yale's Splash Day? I think it might be good for my ds to go to an event like this with a couple friends. My ds is not Ivy material, but I do want him to get a sense of what college IS. He is a sophomore and it still feels very abstract to him. Might be a fun trip for him and they could take train to any of these campuses from NYC. Anyone BTDT with their kids? Good experience? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 09.04.19, 03:51 PM Flag
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Every college has their annual festivals. No need to go out of the way to see schools he will never attend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:55 PM Flag
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Well right now he has no idea where he will go, so trying to keep it local. His friends went to Yale Splash last year, that's why that came up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:20 PM Flag
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Is he not going to college? Why do you need to tell him what college IS when he's only 15. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:56 PM Flag
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And why do you have to show him an Ivy and set him up for failure [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:15 PM Flag
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See above. Friends of his went last year and they all liked it. Plus with boys I think it helps if they have a goal in mind. He needs some help with motivation!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:21 PM Flag
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I totally understand where you're coming from, but like the previous poster, I'm not sure what your son is going to get out of this. From my own experience, kids don't really perceive/experience this stuff the way we do. I don't really think it's a great use of his/your time, and it might actually introduce a degree of anxiety about the college process down the line. Having said that, I totally hear you about wanting to get him interested/motivated about the wonderful opportunities to come, and I have some suggestions. My kids did some short (one and two-week) summer academic programs on college campuses which were a great introduction to the milieu and feel of college, without being either off-putting or abstract. If you're in NYC, Columbia has a great summer program for high-schoolers, and I'd expect that most of the other local colleges here have similar programs, with a wide range of subjects from academic to artistic to STEM. If you don't want to commit to that (or your kid is averse to doing academics in the summer), perhaps he has a specific interest - athletics, music, art - and he and his friends could attend a game or concert or art exhibit at one of the colleges. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:23 PM Flag
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That is a good idea. He would definitely NOT want to do academics over the summer -- he still hasn't finished his summer reading!! I am wondering if we could find a sports camp for him at a college campus though. He would enjoy that much more. Thanks for your advice and not flaming me! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:35 PM Flag
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Glad to help. I can't stand the flames. What's the point of making someone feel bad or foolish? We should be here to support each other. Good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:16 PM Flag
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Where we are (LA), there are events on campuses, like book festivals, where you can spend the day on campus. eat at the campus restaurants (not the dining halls), get a sense of the scope and vibe of a college campus. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:29 PM Flag
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something like that would be great. It is geared to high schoolers or is it open to the entire community? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:34 PM Flag
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entire community in the case of Festival of Books [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:43 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:35 PM Flag
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The main one I am thinking of is the LA Festival of Books in April (?) at USC (used to be at UCLA). Open to everyone. Huge multiday event. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:38 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:41 PM Flag
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Just go on a tour during the school year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:44 PM Flag
[ - ] So I begin the HS search process with #2 this fall. We are in District 2. He has double 4s in state tests and 89 core GPA. He is not into art (so art schools are out) and I know his GPA will put him outside of the screen for Lab, NEST, Baruch, Millennium, ELRO and possibly Beacon. We are considering the following: BARD, Museum, Harbor School, ISchool, possibly Urban Assembly in FIDI, Frank McCourt, PACE HS. What other schools might be good options? 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 09.04.19, 03:49 PM Flag
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What's the cutoff for NEST, Lab and Millenium? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:59 PM Flag
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I think they are all minimum of 90 core GPA. But the reality for most is that most kids have mid to upper 90s (I think). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:19 PM Flag
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SOF [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:24 PM Flag
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They only accept a handful of kids AND I think he needs to submit an application/essay, correct? Not sure he would succeed there -- only because he is better at taking tests than working on long projects. I know it is a consortium school so more project based, right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:37 PM Flag
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If this is true, then SHSAT is your friend & you should gun for the specialized HSs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:14 PM Flag
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He is writing the SHSAT. Is also applying to a couple parochial schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:18 PM Flag
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School of the Future. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:26 PM Flag
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Kids in dc's school who didn't have the gpa for the top D2 schools went to the ones you mention plus Essex, Urban Assembly Maker Academy, Manhattan Early College School for Advertising, Art & Design and High School of Economics and Finance. GL. I would take Museum or iSchool if it was my kid, and your dc should be able to get into them with no problem. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:31 PM Flag
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OP here: I like Museum for him, and I think he would have a good chance getting in. ISchool will be harder. They are part of the diversity initiative, so are offering 60% of their seats to kids who qualify for free lunch. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:43 PM Flag
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I didn’t think it was that high! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:16 PM Flag
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I guess she's a troll. Oh well. Some of the best schools in Manhattan have a high percentage of free lunch kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:29 PM Flag
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She is not a troll. It is simply the truth, with no judgment. They reserve that % of kids who qualify for free or reduced price lunch. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:39 PM Flag
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This - I really liked iSchool when I toured with my older DC but I am hesitant about ranking it because there will only be 37 spots that my dc is eligible for. It's the same reason why I am hesitant to rank any school with a middle school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:20 PM Flag
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OP here: this is from DOE website. NYC iSchool (02M376) | Program Code: M52A | Priority to applicants eligible for Free or Reduced Price Lunch (based on family income) for up to 60% of seats. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:20 PM Flag
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and here is the link to the High Schools that are part of diversity initiative. Again, I don't have a problem with these schools. On the contrary, my ds goes to a MS where about 40% are free lunch. But I don't think I can put down more than 2 or 3 of these on his application because his chances of getting in are not great due to his GPA. https://www.schools.nyc.gov/enrollment/enrollment-help/meeting-student-needs/diversity-in-admissions [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:25 PM Flag
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What is wrong with that? My older dc went to a school with 65% free lunch. Not sure how you can glean anything from low income kids. The shs are packed with them and iSchool is near enough to Chinatown to atttract those kids if you are a racist. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:27 PM Flag
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She did not say there was anything wrong. But it lowers her child's chance of getting in. That was all she was saying. Sheesh. Why is this so controversial? It's factual [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:40 PM Flag
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gosh, you really have the "you're a racist" reflex down pat [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:48 PM Flag
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neither op nor pp, so no dog in this fight other than that I work in anti-racist programming and think I am fairly perceptive on picking up even subtle bias/racism. when i read the comment about the iSchool, my initial impression was that OP realizes that DC2's odds are not great as only 40% of the seats are open to kids not eligible for free lunch. OP wrote three sentences and it was very clear that the topic was the odds of admission, not the presence of children benefiting from FARM. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:49 PM Flag
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I think she is just saying that a smaller number of seats are open to kids that aren't low income meaning that her chance of getting in is diminished. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:08 PM Flag
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This is what I am saying exactly. We don't qualify for free lunch hence there will be a smaller amount of seats open for my ds. And it is a competitive school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:22 PM Flag
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It says up to 60%. What is the real number? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:17 PM Flag
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You mean actual numbers? Past years they accepted 98 Gen Ed kids and had over 3800 applicants. So 39 kids applicants per seat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 09:18 PM Flag
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You should rank schools in your order of preference, regardless of the number of seats. If there aren’t enough seats in ISchool for kids with your dc’s stats, you’ll just move down to the next school on your list. The algorithm won’t penalize your chances of getting into another school if you include ISchool. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 09:26 PM Flag
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I agree! BTW, my kid is at iSchool and it's great. OP, rank it according to your preference. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:53 PM Flag
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ICE - Institute for Collaborative Education. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:09 AM Flag
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Also has a MS [ Reply | More
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General Topics 10.19.19, 02:05 AM Flag
[ - ] Thoughts on Fordham prep? DS starts at 8th grade at independent K-8 tomorrow. We really like what we know about it and it sounds like his odds of getting in are pretty good based upon our discussions last year. Are we crazy to consider this over a more traditional independent school? We love the campus and the fact that everybody starts in 9th. Not particularly religious - he was baptized Catholic but not confirmed - but we don’t mind Jesuit approach 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:43 PM Flag
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Where do you live? Assuming you are in Manhattan, are you ok with a daily commute? Late nights with sports practice? Social life will almost wholly be based in Westchester, so you have to plan on lots of weekend ubers or late-night driving for pick-ups. We are in Manhattan, DS goes to Xavier, tons of friends at FP. Schools are more alike than different. But these are the complaints from the parents FP kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:49 PM Flag
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We are in Harlem close to metro north stop, but we are considering Xavier as well [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:52 PM Flag
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The schools are very similar. Xavier bigger, class size starts at about 290. Both offer options for all types of kids, not just sports (Xavier has things like ping pong, cartooning, origami, pod casting, etc) It has been a great experience for DS. The religious aspect at both schools is your for the taking, meaning all are welcome, what you do with it is your choice. Jesuits have a great world perspective. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:59 PM Flag
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So many Fordham kids in city- I see the social life as more in city. Yes the commute is a bit but we really didn't want another townhouse for a school, especially for a sporty kid. All these dcs socialize with other schools btw- It is fantastic school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:56 PM Flag
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OK. That's why you have to talk to so many parents, kids, go on tours. Maybe we will apply! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:06 PM Flag
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Really not. FP demographics are 51 percent Westchester, 25 percent Bronx, 15 percent Manhattan, 4 percent CT, 4 percent other. https://www.fordhamprep.org/page.cfm?p=4656 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:21 PM Flag
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^^^oops 16 percent Manhattan [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:23 PM Flag
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NP: We're considering FP and Xavier as well, but may not even apply to FP bc of commute, fact that 50% of student pop is from Westchester. We live on UWS and I've heard that most kids who go to FP from Manhattan live on the UES. I like that Xavier is in Manhattan. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:58 PM Flag
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I posted below. the FP application is very similar to Xavier's so . . . you might want to apply to both. Also, something to keep in mind, Xavier will often accept kids with a condition that they do Xprep summer before freshman year. Basically month of the july they do math and ELA mornings M-F. I think with FP you are either in or you aren't. We almost chose FP because we didn't want to stay in city for entire month of July, but turns out the Xprep condition for my ds was made in error, so we got him out of it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:30 PM Flag
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My ds applied to both FP and Xavier. FP has a wonderful campus and feels like an oasis in the city. BUT for us, was too much of a schlep. If you are close to the Metro North/Grand Central it is a very easy commute. We know friend who commits from FIDI. And yes, most of the kids at FP will be from Westchester or upper Manhattan. My ds ended up at Xavier and is very happy there. Doesn't have the space and greenery of FP, but his commute is 25 minutes so worth the trade off for us. We are Catholic but not religious and it is fine. Ds says he usually sleeps during mass -- which is about once a month ; ) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:27 PM Flag
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lovely [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:34 AM Flag
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OP, all I can say is that DS' lacrosse team routinely plays Fordham and the Fordham Road traffic to get to the away games is hell, unmitigated hell. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:53 PM Flag
[ - ] Has there been an update on the woman who created a fake dating profile and was going to stand up a guy that lied to her and ghosted her? I am kicking myself for not saving the link! 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:41 PM Flag
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http://www.urbanbaby.com/topics/55924474 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:46 PM Flag
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That's me! Here. He showed up at 6:45 - I was home watching the weather channel. I pinged him at 7:15 and said I had an emergency. He sent a bunch of texts which I just read and no reply. I woke up to one that he sent at 5:30 am that said "I was up all night - are you ok" then he sent another one at like 9:00 am asking if I wanted to try again and then he sent another one at 10:00 that said "when I asked the bartender for your glass of wine (he ordered a glass for me), she asked why I wanted it so I told her my date cancelled. The bartender said she's an idiot (referring to me)" He proceed to say (to me) that at least he has that going for him.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:04 PM Flag
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^^and nothing asking if I'm ok. Dick. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:05 PM Flag
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^^should I just completely blow him off at this point? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:06 PM Flag
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Your first line was his asking if you were okay. This was fun but starting to feel like fiction [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:21 PM Flag
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OP: what do you mean? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:25 PM Flag
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I woke up to one that he sent at 5:30 am that said "I was up all night - are you ok" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:52 PM Flag
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Nope. Wait until tomorrow and make another date. Then just ghost. How is he texting you though? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:26 PM Flag
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OP: we use kik. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:28 PM Flag
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OP: $100 says he's moved on by then [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:28 PM Flag
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Agree. Just end it now. Don't let him get you twice! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:30 PM Flag
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OP: agree. Buh bye asshole!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:36 PM Flag
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No, keep toying with him till you become obsessed. Fatal Attraction. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:28 PM Flag
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You just wrote that he texted you at 5am asking if you are ok. So at least he did that.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:24 PM Flag
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OP: yes....once. Then his next text was asking me out again and then his next text was "whoa is me" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:26 PM Flag
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Well, you know he's an asshole. Don't get bogged down that. You got under his skin. And made him look stupid spending the night at a bar waiting for you. You win. Ghost time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:44 PM Flag
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PP. I agree. He is an ass, looks like a fool and now you need to cross the whole episode off your list. Move on now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:57 PM Flag
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np I would point out that you should have written "Woe is me," but in his case, I think he could use some WHOA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:33 PM Flag
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Woe is me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:11 PM Flag
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Did he write “woah”? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:18 PM Flag
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This is starting to feel kind of pathetic, OP. Move on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:39 PM Flag
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ITA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:12 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:42 PM Flag
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I think the longer you engage, the worse you will feel. These things always sound good in theory, and are fun for movies, but just leave you feeling disappointed in real life. Think of how you would feel if this guy figured out that you were behind this. It would be pretty embarrassing and shameful. I completely get that it hurts to be lied to, used, and manipulated the way he did to you. But you will feel better if you are able to get him out of your head, than to sink to his level. Good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:38 PM Flag
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OP: done and done. Mission complete. Back to regular scheduled programming. Thanks, Ladies! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:19 PM Flag
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totally agree. hard to do so, but would always tell my sister, "you have got to move on!" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:55 PM Flag
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Translation: "I want to talk about myself some more, so I'm faking a question!" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:14 PM Flag