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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] We switched from public to private elementary this year. Anyone else? If so, why did you switch? 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:40 PM Flag
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Why? May I ask which public? Or just which private? We are about to start private K and would love to hear more about how you made your decision since our public elementary is supposed to be great and it was a tricky one for us! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:57 PM Flag
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What was the reason you chose private school vs. your zoned elementary? You made that choice, so something was driving you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:52 PM Flag
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Op: my DD got bit, it was very loud and chaotic, teacher always seemed annoyed and stressed, there were movies alll the time [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:53 PM Flag
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We had that too, but it was NBD in K, most kids are ok with that. By 2nd grade it was totally clear that easier kids without discipline issues or academic issues were getting no attention at all and were considered "zero-needs" kids who just should swim along. While it makes it easy for parents, it's not for every family that wants higher standards for their kids or more engagement. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:04 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:26 PM Flag
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Omg, where do you live that your public schools are like this? Neither the school I teach in nor the schools my children attend are like this. Movies????? My principal would fire a teacher for showing movies (other than perhaps 1x a year, connected to curriculum and with signed parent permission). And yes, she'd find a way to get rid of tenured teachers, no problem. My kids' public school teachers send home positive notes about the kids, meet with us anytime we ask, the classrooms are calm and kids really learn. I teach in a low income school and it is the same thing. We have differentiation set up among grade levels to ensure our highest kids get harder work by 2nd grade. (and us early primary teachers have a wide spread of abilities and still meet all their needs) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 11:49 PM Flag
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op: where are you located? We were in an NYC public school on the upper west. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:09 AM Flag
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Chicago public in not the best area either. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:38 AM Flag
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NYC public in not the best area would be a failing school with some exceptions, OR was talking about a bougie school and so was I. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:28 PM Flag
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Same experience as you, a well rated zoned public elementary in D2. Chicago lady has no idea, our good schools are overcrowded to the max, hard to control chaos unless you introduce draconian rules, there is nobody ensuring highest scoring kids get to do harder work, nobody cares about highest scoring kids, teachers need to focus on those needing help, and that is with all the affluent/educated NYC parent body. Our poor schools are simply failing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:19 PM Flag
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Our biting experience was in private & we switched to public. So it goes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:23 PM Flag
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Private schools are not perfect either, but you would expect that they at least should give more attention to kids and lessen a chance of this happening due to a more favorable student/staff ratio. You cannot unfortunately completely prevent your kid getting hurt from some other kid's behavior ANYWHERE, be it any school or a public place or even in your own extended family. The only thing you can expect from a good school public or private is that they won't ignore it and resolve the problem preventing it from happening in the future. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:38 PM Flag
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I have no cash for that, but otherwise, I would switch. My reasons to go with a private vs. public would be less nonsense dealing with overcrowded classes, applying to MS/HS, more attention for my kid, and also hopefully no draconian attendance policy where I am forced to send sick kids to school because they don't have fevers to get a doctor's notice, or where we cannot leave on vacation a couple of days earlier to avoid paying crazy prices, etc. Generally, I would honestly choose private school to have a more relaxed family life and less institutional environment with all that it involves. My kids are very good academically, find school easy, and don't have behavioral issues, I feel like in a public school environment they are the most ignored category. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:42 PM Flag
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Thank you for sharing this. Sometimes this board gets so hostile about “public is so amazing don’t do anything else or you’re crazy.” You’ve summed up some of the differences and challenges well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:43 PM Flag
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Seriously, I cannot imagine what kind of neighborhoods you all live in where "high kids" get ignored. Aren't most kids reading several grades levels ahead and doing Algebra in 6th or 7th? That the case in my area. Instead of the low kids pulling everyone down, the high kids pull everyone up. Don't your kids teaching teams meet every 5-6 weeks to discuss, in detail, every kids' progress? We do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 11:52 PM Flag
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Not every kid is reading several grade levels ahead and doing Algebra, what universe do you live in where it's the majority of kids? We have plenty of smart kids in NYC, but high scoring kid is someone who is maybe one or two grade levels ahead if that. You are talking about kids in early elementary who should be going to MS, these are a tiny minority and nobody accelerates them so, no school can do this, only parents. Regular high scoring kids have no problems, so nobody has resources to spare for them as they are low need when there are kids who do need help. Classes are overcrowded, over 30 kids per teacher after K (in K it's 25 kids). PTA pays for assistants, if they don't there are no assistants unless it's an integrated class with special needs kids. There is a G&T system where you can test your kid at age 4 to go to a more rigorous school, regular schools don't focus on high performing kids, not at all. G&T also doesn't teach several years ahead, so geniuses like you describe aren't accommodated there either, it's just for regular bright kids. Spots in G&T are limited, so not every capable kid gets in and then they go to zoned schools where they breeze through and hopefully get into a selective MS, some parents also supplement outside of school, which is considered a norm to stimulate kids who need more, nobody expects the school to do this. Did I sum this up correctly? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:37 PM Flag
[ - ] Did your child have a teacher you didn’t like? I don’t think I like my DC’s daycare teacher. I will only see her 3 days a week but still. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:17 PM Flag
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How many days has your child been at school? Give it a little time... what don't you like about the teacher? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:05 PM Flag
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We’ve met three times. Something is off. Maybe it’s me. But this is the first time in over 6 years at the school I haven’t loved/liked one of my kids’ teachers. She just seems brusque. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:31 PM Flag
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How old is your child? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:11 PM Flag
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We didn't like one of DD's fourth grade teachers, but we all survived her. She left the school at the end of the year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:41 PM Flag
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Haha, of course!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:41 PM Flag
[ - ] Can anyone comment on the following Hunter testers: Victoria Beech, Robert Mead, Marcela Yussef, and Lia Amakawa? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:39 PM Flag
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We had Robert Mead and he seemed nice and it was a convenient location. I was not allowed to go in with DC so did not observe anything- what type of info are you looking for? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:43 PM Flag
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I don't know really. I have a 4 year old who acts like she doesn't speak a word of English when introduced to a new adult. She might start talking to someone if they seem warm and fun. Was Robert Mead energetic and fun or more quiet? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:49 PM Flag
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He was a tall guy and seemed very gentle. I wouldn't say he was "bubbly" or "fun" really- just very nice and gentle. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:53 PM Flag
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i have a kid who has a hard time with strangers who tested wth Mead and made it to round 2 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:59 PM Flag
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We had Marcela yussef twice. One got in, one didn’t. She was nice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:24 PM Flag
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My DS had her too, made R2, didn't get in (but is now at the HS, so I no longer care!). She seemed very nice and DS had a lot of fun. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:57 PM Flag
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It's another reason why it's stupid to test 4 year olds, when it matters how they react to the tester's personal style. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:41 PM Flag
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Whatever. There are so many other schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:20 PM Flag
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I liked Lia (her office was convenient for us, too), and my daughter was very comfortable going off with her. DD didn't make the round 1 cutoff, but I don't blame Lia, lol! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:57 PM Flag
[ - ] If your DC attends a private elementary in NYC, are you asked to provide any school supplies at the beginning of the year? Either for your DC or for the class to share? 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:38 PM Flag
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No. Our school provides everything. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:39 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:27 PM Flag
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Catholic school gave us lists for elementary. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:39 PM Flag
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op: wondering if it's odd or not that we were asked to provide $40-50 of supplies for the room despite paying $50k tuition. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:42 PM Flag
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Seems odd--yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:01 PM Flag
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Public school mom. I would find this extremely weird from a pvt school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:25 PM Flag
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INSANE! which school???????? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:33 PM Flag
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Seems wrong to me. We provide personal supplies for DD (her notebooks, etc.) but not the paper towels, soap, hand sanitizer type stuff. When she was in public school we did provide all that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:46 PM Flag
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op: it's not the stuff you mentioned. They asked for specific notebooks, pencils, markers, construction paper. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:58 PM Flag
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Sorry, I misunderstood "for the room." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 10:07 PM Flag
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My kids are at a private elementary school in Westchester and we have a long supply list every year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:18 PM Flag
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Interesting. How much is tuition? Why do you think it is not included? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:31 PM Flag
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Full tuition is 30K. A good percentage of the students are on some kind of financial aid, so this is a way to keep costs down. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:41 PM Flag
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Wondering if this is it. Our school has about 30% on financial aid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:44 PM Flag
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Never forget that that includes people who get v small aide, which is most of the FA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:01 PM Flag
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Yes, there is always a list of supplies for each grade, and you can also order this and pay in advance if you don't want to go shopping yourself, it's a PTA thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:43 PM Flag
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no [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:32 PM Flag
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If I were paying 50+k tuition for elementary, there is no way I'd buy any supplies [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:50 PM Flag
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DD is at a K-12. School provided supplies through fourth grade -- we have been buying them since fifth. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:33 PM Flag
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No, none at all. I don't understand, if it's private, why can't they just include it in price of tuition? I understand they want to keep that number down, but really adding an extra $50 onto a price tag that is already $50,000 is not going to make anyone think differently of the tuition price. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:49 PM Flag
[ - ] I am expecting an autism diagnosis for my son within the next few months. We live in NJ. He currently sees a PT once a week, DI (play therapist) twice a week, and ST once a month through Early Intervention. The early intervention is not free (based on HHI) and I'm not impressed so far (lots of cancellations, etc.) DS of a good friend is autistic and they received amazing services in NYC (multiple weekly FREE therapies, busing to and from, etc.). Would you move for that reason alone? My husband is currently unemployed - even then, with all of the therapies, the cost is high in NJ. But, then again, costs more to live in NYC. I don't know what to do. I just want to give my DS the best chance at a good life. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:38 PM Flag
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Do you want to live in NYC? Is the cost of the services more than the additional costs of city tax and living you will pay here? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:46 PM Flag
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not just cost, quality [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:58 PM Flag
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I hear you. But - really, your experience may not be the same as your friends. Also, it’s possible that what she reports as “amazing” might be what you consider just ok. So I wouldn’t move for just this reason, at least not without doing a lot of research. Good luck, it sounds like you are a good advocate for your child, and that will be his secret weapon. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:05 PM Flag
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Contact this organization. They may help you: https://www.yai.org [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:21 PM Flag
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You have to look at your entire budget. Will you be able to live like you live now in NYC? Is everything else equal? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:41 PM Flag
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This. What are you paying out of pocket for these services ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:02 PM Flag
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NJ is renown for having very generous SN systems. Much better than NYC. Many people MOVE to NJ for that. My mom was the head of such things in NJ from 1990-94. NJ was considered the most liberal in such things in the entire country. I think once your child is in school, you will find that the quality in nj is much better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:04 PM Flag
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NJ has varied school districts by town. Not sure the entire state works on this matter, it'd vary by school district. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:11 PM Flag
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Disability services are largely mandated by the state. it is all about IDEA (2004 law), and how state courts interpret it. NJ is very good compared to many other states (Worst: Mississippi and Wyoming). The state courts have also been very supportive of parents who sue. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:23 AM Flag
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I live in nyc, and just had my dd evaluated for a different issue. Honestly, the evaluation was a bit of a mess and took 3x longer than it was supposed to. The first evaluator never even turned in her reports to the evaluation site, and we had to start over. So I don’t think the services are amazing across the board. I would advocate for better more reliable services in NJ. If you are unsatisfied, speak up. Be a pain in the ass and fight for your kid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:08 PM Flag
[ - ] A lot of tension with sil built up over the years - I invited her and her family for the Jewish holidays and she said she can’t make it because she is flying back from a work trip. FWIW the holiday is a Sunday and she’s a pharma rep. I mean is that credible? I feel like I’m done. 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:28 PM Flag
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So be done. Just be polite and follow her lead. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:30 PM Flag
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This is your husband's sister? Or brother's wife? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:30 PM Flag
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Brother’s wife [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:34 PM Flag
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Is your brother going to come without her? That's a win win in my book. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:37 PM Flag
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Yes. Just upsetting [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:38 PM Flag
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I know. I posted here before about my disappointing relationship with my sisters. I'm closer to friends than family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:29 PM Flag
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You don't need her. Do your holiday and forget about her. Don't invite her next year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:31 PM Flag
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Maybe she doesn't want to come. Win/win for both of you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:35 PM Flag
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She doesn't want to come. Leave it alone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:36 PM Flag
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I'm sorry. My sister's family has rejected us. Not completely, we still see them on holidays but that's it. I have not been to their house in years and she is a big time hostess (I know from Instagram). We live in the same town. It sucks, I don't know why this happened (we used to socialize a lot) and frankly affects my worldview (ie makes me feel like a loser) but there is nothing I can do about it except to keep plugging away trying to make new friends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:43 PM Flag
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Sorry to hear that. Are you sure it isn’t something along the lines of waiting for you to reciprocate and then it just snowballed when you didn’t and became its own thing? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:30 PM Flag
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Wow, I just want to tell you that you are not alone. My brother and his family have done the same thing to us, though they live farther away. Complete radio silence. It's baffling, because we didn't have a blow-out or anything. His wife is a very strong personality, and while I 100 percent hold my brother responsible for ghosting us, I also feel that it suits her to not have to deal with us. I know from past situations that she prioritizes her family over my brother's, but at some point they just dropped us. It's just really sad. My kids have no relationship with their cousins. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:40 PM Flag
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NP I have a nearly identical situation, but there was a blow-out a couple of years ago. I really miss my brother, and we already lost another brother about 20 yrs ago. I never thought this could happen to us. Current political situation combined with aging parent issues and SIL who seems to resent my parents is what broke us apart. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:52 PM Flag
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Ask yourself: Why do you want her there when you don't get along? Her not coming is 100% a good thing. You celebrate with your brother without the tension. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:47 PM Flag
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If you don't like her why are you forcing family togetherness? My family does this and I finally just refused to participate. Everyone wants to pretend for one day that we have good relationships? No thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:50 PM Flag
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Why are you pushing this? You don't get along with her. You probably don't want to spend time with her and it's mutual. She gave you a perfectly fine reason for being unavailable. Whether she's lying or not, who cares? It sounds like you're digging for dirt here. Let it gooooooooooo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:13 PM Flag
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Who cares? Sounds like you don't like her anyway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:33 PM Flag
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I think it’s very possible. My company likes to make us fly on weekends so that they do t lose a work day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:02 PM Flag
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Have you ever talked to your brother about it? One on one. Just say to him hey, is there anything going on with Amy? Did I do something? For all you know 1) you did (sorry) or 2) they're having a tough time in their marriage. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:46 PM Flag
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Hey, my sibling didn't even respond to my repeated emails asking about getting together for the holidays. Didn't even respond! I'm inviting friends over instead. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:35 PM Flag
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I have given up on thinking of my SILs as my relatives. Makes it easier to medium chill them. Don't give her the power of making you feel bad if she declines. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:44 PM Flag
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sorry to hear this, but It might be credible. I used to do a lot of work travel and frequently my travel days were on weekends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:21 AM Flag
[ - ] Anybody have a toenail fall off? Which toe, how long did it take to regrow and did it hurt? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:05 PM Flag
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Big toe. Took about six months to grow back. No, it didn't hurt. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:07 PM Flag
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^^but I kept it wrapped to protect it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:07 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:07 PM Flag
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Yes (years ago from ballet; lately from running). Initially it throbs and hurts because blood is building up under the nail, then it slowly grows out and there's a point where it's only attached at one corner and yes it can catch on something and tear off which is a brief moment of pain. It has taken mine a good 6 months to grow out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:09 PM Flag
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Yes, from running. About 6 months. The skin under it hurt for a few days after the toenail fell off. I have to keep them clipped and wear proper shoes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:49 PM Flag
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Runner above. What shoes do you wear? I switched to Brooks Ghost (from Gel Kayanos) and the toe box seems better for me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:16 PM Flag
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First OR above: the lesson learned for me: always buy running shoes a half size up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:26 PM Flag
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I used to do that but then I felt like my foot was sliding and banging against the shoe if I did that! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:29 PM Flag
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Lost my big toenail as a kid, took a year to grow back. Didn't hurt after an initial couple of days. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:54 PM Flag
[ - ] My 5 yo DC started school in a new town yesterday, and it went pretty well. However, she wants to take a day off today. She might be a bit tired as she was out of school for 6 months or so. Is this acceptable? Or do you send her to school anyways? 98 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:50 PM Flag
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No, she has to go to school. She'll perk up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:52 PM Flag
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Both my husband and I are trying but we can not convince her. She swears she will go tomorrow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:57 PM Flag
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SMH [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:58 PM Flag
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Are you a JW? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:59 PM Flag
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What's that acronym? Jehovah's Witness? Jewish Witch? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:03 PM Flag
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no. absent a medical condition, she goes to school today. if she breaks you now, you are done. nobody's kid wanted to wake up early to go to school today. rip the bandaid off and get used to the routine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:59 PM Flag
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How do you do this when a child is not willing? Do you drag your DC? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:00 PM Flag
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Yes. You ARE still bigger than she, right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:02 PM Flag
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Wow that looks like a controlling, violent parent to me and the message you’re sending is that you can force people to do what you want. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:05 PM Flag
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Hey Trollina, what's up? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:05 PM Flag
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Hey everyone’s-a-troll-thinkina. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:12 PM Flag
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School isn't all that. You don't even have to get vaccinated to go. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:02 PM Flag
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No, it is something you have to do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:11 PM Flag
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What makes you think you have to do that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:18 PM Flag
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The law for one. All children have to go to school. This isn't being "violent". I guess your kids don't hold your hand crossing a street or use a car seat or get shots. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:21 PM Flag
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We have a choice to homeschool her also [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:22 PM Flag
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Ok, homeschool her then. Good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:23 PM Flag
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Have fun with that. Every day can be a sick day! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:03 PM Flag
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I don't think she has kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:22 PM Flag
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Doubt it's a "she" either. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:23 PM Flag
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I know. It's that loser troll who has his hands down his shorts and gets a boner from this. Weak ass middle school minded POS. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:24 PM Flag
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Wow, you sound so elegant. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:31 PM Flag
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How old are you? This is school, she is a child. Not everything is easy peasy. It’s a parent’s job to introduce the world to their kids. And it’s a parent’s role to raise happy, healthy, little people to meet the eventual expectations of the real world and society. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:39 PM Flag
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i wouldn't need to. my kid doesn't think school is optional. generally, my kid responds to a good rationale conversation, but if not, I could get her there with a change in tone, language and demeanor. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:04 PM Flag
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You mean threat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:06 PM Flag
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You're boring. The market not doing well today Brad? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:21 PM Flag
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She won't though. I taught at a preschool the SECOND day is much worse than the first. The kids realize that this is their life from now on. Did she go to preK at all? Just tell her you can't wait to hear about her day when you get home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:20 PM Flag
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OP. That makes sense the second day is the worst. She didn’t have any problem with the new school but I guess she’s not super excited either? She started preschool at 2.2 but was in pre-k only for 4 months or so. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:28 PM Flag
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Yes it's hard, but literally harder on the parents. Her teacher will be happy to see her (you can give her a head's up that your dd is experiencing a lot of reluctance). Next morning get up earlier so you're not rushed and can get her there on time. Maybe have a surprise for her that she can open, but only if she gets to school (small thing). Soon it will become habit and she'll be OK. Don't give in to her though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:30 PM Flag
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I’m going to email her teachers now. I’m just not a fan of bribing (although I know it works). Hopefully things will work out tomorrow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:34 PM Flag
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It's a treat. My kids got little treats from time to time and grew up without expecting anything. It's OK. Call it however you want to. I told my dc's we'd have a treat after school (ice cream cone) and that was that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:22 PM Flag
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This. No harm in a little treat for facing something you have to do. I get a coffee down the street if I work hard all morning, lol. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 10:33 PM Flag
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It is not a bribe. it is positive reinforcement. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 10:58 PM Flag
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"Convince" her? That's not the way life works between parents and five-year-olds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 11:12 PM Flag
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School. The only cure for low tone is doing the work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:53 PM Flag
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Is this for real? Send her to school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:56 PM Flag
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How do you do this when a child is not willing? Do you drag your DC? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:58 PM Flag
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Lady, you have a long road ahead of you if you can't figure this out at this stage. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:00 PM Flag
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Are you a JW? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:01 PM Flag
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np. absent illness, my kid would never consider school optional. you need to re-write whatever narrative your DC has in her head that school is an option. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:00 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:03 PM Flag
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This. she thinks its optional because she had a long break. You need to redfine it asap [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:14 PM Flag
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First try bribing. If that doesn't work, you have to pick up and carry her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:00 PM Flag
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No bribing. That’s just not morally correct and they learn nothing from it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:07 PM Flag
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You do not bribe a kid to go to school. Skipping isn’t an option. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:09 PM Flag
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You are the parent. You have an issue with your power dynamic if your 5 year old can't be directed verbally what to do. You don't get to take a day off of school because you are tired. You can take a nap afterschool. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:01 PM Flag
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You sound like a controlling parent. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:02 PM Flag
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No. She is an in control parent. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:10 PM Flag
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The person in control is controlling. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:13 PM Flag
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As a parent should. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:14 PM Flag
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Not really, your DC will grow up to be an obedient idiot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:15 PM Flag
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STFU idiot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:20 PM Flag
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Wow you sound so intelligent. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:22 PM Flag
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the child will show up to work and be a responsible adult even if they "feel tired". yours will sleeping in your basement [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:15 PM Flag
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that must be a joke? controlling means getting your kid to school even when the kid doesn't want to go? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:24 PM Flag
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kid is 5! she will do what you tell her to do. and yes drag if needed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:03 PM Flag
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Should I call child service for yours? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:14 PM Flag
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Please call and say you saw a mom carry her child to Kindergarten. i am sure they will run right over. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 11:00 PM Flag
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you need to speak with authority. Dont show hesitation or doubt. Tell her she has to go to school. It shouldnt get to a point where you have to physically drag her. Maybe a threat " if we arent out the door by 8:30 am tomorrow, no treat after school. If she lays on the floor saying she wont go. Tell her every minute that passes, she loses a treat ( or cartoons, or whatever she likes) for another day. I would treat the battle as though you were insisting she not be late, and IGNORE that she is considering not going. If all else fails. Say you will drag her. Iv never had to do this though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:12 PM Flag
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This post is totally fake. No parent is this incompetent 5 years in. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:02 PM Flag
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totally fake . agree [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:24 PM Flag
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You have to be a parent and she the child, she cannot order you around, if this is at 5, I dread to think what you are going to go through when she is 13, grow a backbone and do your parenting job [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:03 PM Flag
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Fake [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:03 PM Flag
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I call troll on this post. No one can be this dense. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:04 PM Flag
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nope [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:05 PM Flag
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Wow, harsh responses. Separation at 5 can be really hard for some kids. Can you tell her that you will wait outside until she is settled and give her some treat to look forward to after? Like going to get a new book or an ice cream? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:12 PM Flag
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The responses are harsh because the post is fake. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:19 PM Flag
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If they think the post is fake why are they responding seriously? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:23 PM Flag
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Because it became apparent that after OP started responding with nonsense. Take a careful look. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:24 PM Flag
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^^strike the word "that" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:24 PM Flag
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But the responses were already harsh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:30 PM Flag
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If you think practical means harsh, then okay. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:33 PM Flag
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When my son was going in to K, he had a really hard time leaving me. I dont why you would think this is fake. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:11 PM Flag
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It’s OP’s responses which are over the top. I don’t deny that it’s hard for some kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 10:19 PM Flag
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We all know it hard for the kids. It is the parent saying it is controlling to tell her to go to school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 11:01 PM Flag
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Dude, she's going. Maybe she hasn't been in pre K or nursery school. K is different. It's not optional. Be mellow and kind, but firm. 'Honey, you do need to go to school. I'm excited for you. There are tons of new friends to meet and new activities to take part in.' The take her hand and walk her out. Don't fight, don't bargain. Be calm. You're in charge. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:12 PM Flag
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She entered preschool at 2.2. I do that but she refuses and go crazy. My husband couldn’t either [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:17 PM Flag
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Well then you're a failure. Sorry. I'd call CPS on you guys then. You can't parent and are losers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:22 PM Flag
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You sound angry and stressed out. Didn’t take vacation this summer? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:29 PM Flag
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OR: I didn't right this. You are not a failure. Jesus. But you do need to change things up. Your method isn't working and you need to change things. Your daughter cannot be controlling this process. There are ways to get her to go that do not involve you throwing her over your shoulder. Incentive chart, making a game out of it, calmly guiding her hand as you walk. If she is truly having major episodes, involve the school social worker. My son had major anxiety and just the fact that the SW was going to meet us in front of school to help him walk in worked wonders. If you and DH can't handle this, ask teachers for help. You need to nip this in the bud now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:49 PM Flag
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I think you should see if she can articulate why she doesn't want to go--and talk to her teacher about helping her. Does she have any friends in the class yet? I would start making playdates asap to help her build some connections. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:05 PM Flag
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omg. 'write' this. I need coffee. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:13 PM Flag
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She refuses and goes crazy because you (and your husband, apparently) are allowing her to do so. My god, she's five. Do you realize what she'll be like at 15 if you continue what appears to be your "child led" style of parenting. Buck up and parent. Tell her she's going to school, she will love it, tell her all the exciting things she can do at a real school, and then TAKE HER TO SCHOOL. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:11 PM Flag
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Agree with you but one thing - this is not child led parenting. This is just avoiding confrontation with a strong willed child. Not the same. Child led parenting is not authoritarian, it is stuff like "do you want to wear the red shoes or the blue shoes?" "do you want to ride your scooter or your bike to school?" This stuff: avoiding sending your child to school because it is a battle, letting them not take medicine, avoid vaccinations - those things are not child led parenting, they are negligence. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:15 PM Flag
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Oh ok--I wasn't using that term in the technical sense, I guess. I actually parented my now almost grown DCs the way you mentioned (choices where they could have choices) but OP's style of parenting, whatever it is called, is ridiculous (at least in this situation). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:27 PM Flag
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then you carry her in. One day in pre-k, after a long break, my DC wouldnt let m leave. she was crying and clinging to me. It got to a point that the teacher had to pry her off of me and i had to leave. i felt like a monster. Guess what. The next day, DC didnt even want to have that kind of a scene. she sadly hugged me and said goodbye. after a week she was barely waving me goodbye so she could play w her friends [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:17 PM Flag
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I cried every day for months when my mom took me to elementary school. The teacher literally sat me outside in the hallway. Lol. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:22 PM Flag
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One little girl in my ods's K class cried walking in to school for the first 2/3 of the year. The teacher just didn't make a big deal about it and she would usually stop about 5-10 min in to class time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:36 PM Flag
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I still remember that dark hallway (PS 11, ha ha). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:22 PM Flag
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:( [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:42 PM Flag
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WTF? She only went one day! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:33 PM Flag
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Is this K? It’s not mandatory so I would let her rest unless you don’t have childcare. First grade is mandatory so she shouldn’t be able to do this next year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:07 PM Flag
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Kindergarten is mandatory in NY. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:09 PM Flag
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In most states where it is not mandatory, if you are enrolled and don't go you fall under the truancy laws. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:08 PM Flag
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Nope, if you do it with K, DC is going to think you can do it with first--K and first aren't going to look any different to her, and she's going to think that since it worked for K, it's going to work for first. Same battle with a more entrenched, older child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:29 PM Flag
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One note - if she stays home it is a boring day. She didn't feel well so she spends the day in bed. No TV or electronics until after 3. No fun games with mom or dad. Make it clear that if she was in school she would be having fun. My son pulled this once later in the year - he was so bored he never did it again. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:37 PM Flag
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School refusal is a very real thing and it's a slippery slope that can get bad fast (google it). You need to strike a balance between validating her feelings ("Honey, I get it you're tired and don't feel like going...") with boundaries ("...but you have to go anyway.") If she is used to pitching a fit to get her way, then she needs to learn that pitching a fit isn't going to work. You can remain calm but firm and do not waiver on the message that she has to go. It's not "bribing" to reward her for appropriate behavior. That is called behavior reinforcement. Bribing would be giving her candy now because she promises to go tomorrow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:53 PM Flag
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Well it’s pretty much the same thing, just bribing before or after lol. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 08:11 PM Flag
[ - ] First day of school- I asked DH to take a photo of me with DCs, holding up their signs. Is that bad? He shot back, "why? Are you trying to cut me out of your life?" He was not joking. We have having problems but I don't think that was appropriate to say in front of DCs. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:49 PM Flag
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Sad man. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:50 PM Flag
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That is nuts. You have bigger problems than the photo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:56 PM Flag
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"I will take your photograph next. I forgot to hire the professional photographer for this morning for the family shot." ;-). not appropriate, but I bet your kids barely noticed. may want to discuss with him generally his feelings behind the comment, but not in an attacking way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:57 PM Flag
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op: he wanted to do the self-timer with the four of us. Which I wanted also, but I wanted one of just me with the kids too. I guess he is extra sensitive about my motive for wanting that. I feel he needs to censor himself though. He also made DC cry by yelling at him about where to sit and how to smile :( [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:59 PM Flag
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i would have a conversation about this after the kids go to bed - but just a conversation. "it seems like we were all really anxious about back to school this morning. what do you think we can to do to make the mornings better?" Good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:08 PM Flag
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What "signs"? Leo? Capricorn? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:07 PM Flag
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op: "first day of x grade" signs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:08 PM Flag
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Aw that sounds so cute! DH sounds like a jerk (sorry). I look back at photos and there are NONE of me with my kids because I'm always taking the picture. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:17 PM Flag
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op: yes exactly!!! I feel sad about that and have recently asked DH to start taking pictures of me with DCs so they can look back and now that I was around, and because he never thinks of it himself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:32 PM Flag
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*know that [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:39 PM Flag
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Who takes the photo with the parent too? Are you starting school today? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:34 PM Flag
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What is wrong with you?! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:59 PM Flag
[ - ] OK trying to Kondo my closet. I feel like I go by the 80/20 rule -- I wear 20% of my closet 80% of the time. I am now wearing things from the back of my closet (some with tags still on) that I forgot I had. If I don't love it after wearing it, it's going in the donation bag. Anyone else have some good tips for paring down what you have? 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:48 PM Flag
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I just place everything on my bed. What hasn't been worn and such goes to goodwill or the bin on my block for used clothing. I haven't missed anything. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:51 PM Flag
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That's a good idea. I feel like I need some kind of guide like a packing list for camp. I don't need 10 pairs of jeans -- 3 or 4 will do. I don't need 8 white t-shirts or 6 pairs of black pants. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:55 PM Flag
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Or put them in a box in another closet. If in 6 months you haven't thought about them, then they aren't meaningful. There's an app for selling clothing, you could try selling I suppose if you don't want to outright give away. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:25 PM Flag
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It's so funny -- I put a bunch of stuff in a bag last night but didn't toss it yet. If it calls out to me, I'll rescue it. I've looked at the apps but I don't want it lingering around the house. Once it's over, I just want to rip the bandaid off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:35 PM Flag
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Today's listicle crowdsourcing has been posted. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:54 PM Flag
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No just a lame person who can't figure this out myself. Sorry to bother you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:07 PM Flag
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Every day of my life I fight being a hoarder. My victory this morning was donating a pair of basically new sneakers because I bought them a half size too big and they feel like clown shoes on my feet. I constantly fight the "I might be able to use this someday" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:02 PM Flag
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OP here. Same. DH is the worst. Can't throw anything out. I have a box of wooden hangers. Don't need them, but "I might someday". I'm throwing them out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:06 PM Flag
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np. I have this might use them someday problem too. The thing is, when I actually do throw things out, I can hardly remember what it was that was so important. Very freeing, yet still it's hard to do! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:10 PM Flag
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Did you buy them online? IME half the stuff I end up tossing is stuff I never tried on first. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:08 PM Flag
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I'm 99% sure I did. That's only the tip of the iceberg, a pair of sneakers. I packed up a 1980s Scaasi ball gown the other day. Crinolines and the whole business. Into a garbage bag. That's how bad my house is [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:15 PM Flag
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The gown(s) were my mom's, she was in opera [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:16 PM Flag
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haha wow! It must have lots of memories [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:17 PM Flag
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That's what I'm processing. My mom was a hoarder, but sort of a higher end hoarder. Like she couldn't walk out of a shop anywhere without buying something. As a result I have all sorts of random stuff like teapots and dolls and paintings. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:42 PM Flag
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If anyone has gently used work clothing, there is a non-profit for women who are trying to get back into the work force, and they have a clothing closet...it's in lower Manhattan. I participated with them as a client, and got nice interview outfits . It is called Grace Institute. Try contacting them and see if they need/want your items. A lot of these moms and women are in shelters too--so anything helps. Maybe even jeans. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:26 PM Flag
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That's a great idea. Dress for Success is another. The one tip I heard is they have a lot of size 4 and 6s but not so much in larger sizes, which they need. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:36 PM Flag
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Yes they do! My mom was petite and cute chubby. Anytime we had a garage sale her clothes sold like crazy. Lots of short size 10/12 women out there can appreciate already hemmed clothing! I was selling two Tahari dresses and this one woman haggled me to exhaustion to where I just gave in for one dress. She came back an hour later wearing the dress and bought the second one full price. I like garage sales but now I live in an area where they’re not commonly done. It’s a great way to get rid of things and make a little cash [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:57 PM Flag
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^without feeling guilty about that ‘I might need that later’ feeling. It’s easy to let go of it if you can sell it. Money talks :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:59 PM Flag
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They just need all sizes. I was a 14 then and there wasn't much then but a few jacket/skirts. Any little helps. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:23 PM Flag
[ - ] The spacing is all wonky on my UB screen... is it me? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:40 PM Flag
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Yep. Mine is fine. I'm using Chrome. Maybe do a restart. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:41 PM Flag
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or just refresh the screen [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:55 PM Flag
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me too. every post is double spaced from previos one [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:57 PM Flag
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YES! Double spacing. I have to scroll so much. woe is me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:06 PM Flag
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Same here. Double spacing. Using Chrome. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:33 PM Flag
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Me too: double spacing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:42 PM Flag
[ - ] Instagram or Twitter? Starting a company -- service based and we want to use motivational quotes once a week (among other things). We have skeleton crew and don't have manpower to keep up with too many social media accounts. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:31 PM Flag
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the kids are on the gram, their parents are on twitter [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:56 PM Flag
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Plenty of 40+ year olds on Instagram from what I see. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:02 PM Flag
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Instagram over Twitter. But honestly, you need to have both. You don't have to post on Twitter but at least have the account and monitor it if a customer tries to reach out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:58 PM Flag
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What kind of company? If any of the companies I follow for business reasons started sending "motivational" quotes once a week, I'd unfollow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:04 PM Flag
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100% agree [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:48 PM Flag
[ - ] A blob of cream cheese just fell on my dress :( What's the best thing to get the stain out? tia 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:17 PM Flag
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Tide sticks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:31 PM Flag
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I should buy some. I'm in a WeWork and they used to stock them in the Ladies' Room. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:38 PM Flag
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Water. It's just cream cheese. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:35 PM Flag
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Thanks. I just tried water on it. I'll post an update soon. So we can all go on with our lives :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:38 PM Flag
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lolz gl. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:45 PM Flag
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Plain bagel. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:39 PM Flag
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ILY [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:42 PM Flag
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haha I know that now! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:47 PM Flag
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Depends on what kind of fabric. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:52 PM Flag
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It's a Banana Republic stretchy cotton blend (khaki in color -- next time I'm buying Philadelphia Cream Cheese color). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:54 PM Flag
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My dh needs a bib. The number of stains on his work shirts is unbelievable, lol. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:31 PM Flag
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Crazy thing is, I was wearing a bib! Little sucker danced around it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:32 PM Flag
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Shout makes a wet nap kind of packaging to carry for emergencies. Great at getting grease and other stains out. Put a paper towel or something behind it to absorb the stain. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:14 PM Flag
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thank you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:32 PM Flag
[ - ] Dc starting at LaG tomorrow. We got an email that advisory class is listed by dc's name on Pupilpath. Can't find it... can anyone help? pupilpath has her number, not name.... 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:40 PM Flag
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I don’t get this. What advisory class is this ? You mean OP ? DC also starting at Lag tomorrow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:51 PM Flag
[ - ] GOing to Iceland end of September with DH and two teens. I know UB is an expert - please share itinerary, recommended hotels, online resources etc. Budget is flexible, not the Four Seasons, but nice 4+ star hotels and up. Good restaurants are welecome, celebrating DH's 50th. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:39 PM Flag
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Day in Reykjavik, day on golden circle (w/overnight in Reykjavik), 2 nights in Vik with time to see the southern coast (black sand beach, waterfalls, maybe glacier lagoon tour), on the last full day - drive from Vik and overnight in Keflavik (near airport) with a stop at the blue lagoon on the way. Could also add a day to see the peninsula north of Reykjavik. For hotels, would recommend the “big chains” - Fosshotel and Icelandair hotels. Plus all of the big international chains are in Reykjavik (Hilton, intercontinental, etc.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:57 PM Flag
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thank you so much! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:56 PM Flag
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I would camp! Get a car and drive around the road that circles Iceland's coast. Campgrounds are ample and every 10 or 20 miles, you don't need a reservation, just drive up and find a spot ( you can rent equipment or camper with the car). We did the southern loop to the diamond beach and are returning in the spring to finish it. Such a wonderful and relaxed vacation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:06 PM Flag
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We are not campers, just not our thing, but thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:56 PM Flag
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I charge €60 for this service. Please let me know if you want my TransferWise info. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:46 PM Flag
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Ha ha, clearly you are new here [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:56 PM Flag
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UB is made up almost entirely of low-to-middle income people trying to stretch every dollar to keep up with the Joneses. No one here can afford to pay for any services. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:05 PM Flag
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This. OP probably isn't even going to Iceland. She's getting ideas for a listicle or blog post. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:13 PM Flag
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Who can take teens at the end of september? Are there high schools that are off for a week then? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:44 PM Flag
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In NYC public schools are off for Rosh Hashana [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:30 PM Flag
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Any guide books or websites that you recommend? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:57 PM Flag
[ - ] Finally in therapy with dh. Our dynamic has completely changed just with the accountability of having a weekly appointment. I’m so grateful but also kind of feel like he’s faking it to be “good student” like to check off the box that we tried therapy. Ughhhhhh. I don’t know. Dh’s rage issues are why we’re there but we talked about my parents the whole time today... 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:30 AM Flag
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Therapy is crock but it makes quack therapists richer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:16 AM Flag
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oh my gosh, it is not a "crock." you're revealing your ignorance. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 10:15 AM Flag
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What works? NP [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:44 PM Flag
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You are experiencing wishful thinking. DTMFA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:14 AM Flag
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when did this place turn into ybm. I know so many people who had good experiences with marriage counseling. you don't hear about it much because people have a tendency to not air what they consider their dirty laundry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 10:16 AM Flag
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Same person responded twice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:19 PM Flag
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I didn't say anything about therapy. I said YOU are experiencing wishful thinking and DTMFA. Why would you even think about staying with someone who can't control his rage and doesn't want to do anything about it? Don't answer; the question was rhetorical. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:48 PM Flag
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so therapy went off track. There's also a chance your parents relationship plays a part in revealing why you married a partner with rage issues, and why you tolerated it. Next appt, start off with "lets revisit why we are here. I want to stay on track, because our marriage is in crisis." You'll never be able to distinguish if he's "faking it", or actually trying to be better. In my opinion, it is VERY HARD for people to change. Have you ever tried to change a bad habit? Think about it. Even when you desperately want to, its very very hard. Unless your DH is actively trying to changehimself by getting to the root of his issues, theres no chance. Hes at therapy though - so thats the good part. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:20 PM Flag
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That's really good advice. IME therapists are happy to let the sessions go wherever it may take you but OP's paying for it and should keep it on track. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:39 PM Flag
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GL. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:03 PM Flag
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Keep at it. It takes time. Wishing you the very best. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:43 PM Flag
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In my experience, you may have to switch therapists until you find the right one. DH had/has rage issues also, and the first male therapist was completely clueless. I told therapist how DH calls me horrible names and he would gloss right over that and focus on something totally mundane, like household chores. He didn't get it. Also, DH may be a narcissist and "charmed" the therapist. Now we are trying someone else and at least DH is being more honest. Otherwise, no progress. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:53 PM Flag
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I am so sorry. What an idiot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:45 PM Flag
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You should bring this up in therapy. "I like how our dynamic has improved, but I can't help but worry that the change is not real and that everything will go back to the way it was before if we stop coming here." Let both your DH and the therapist know your concern. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:52 PM Flag
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this. You HAVE to say it out loud. Therpy is the place where you confront everythig. If you tiptoe around your feelings ( like you likely do your raging DH), you will resent the hell out of wasting your money on it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 10:54 PM Flag
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Keep going. It takes a while to work through all the emotions and to build trust. You may want to consider individual therapy for both of you as well as couple's therapy. Good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:54 PM Flag
[ - ] At what age/weight do kids no longer need booster seats? My 9 yr old is tall, almost 5 feet and 92lbs. We don’t drive a lot but did this weekend and noticed his booster seat had a weight limit of 100 lbs. So now my kid just wears a regular seatbelt when he outgrows the seat? I googled and it appears that way but it seems awfully strange and unsafe for a 9 year old in just a seatbelt... 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:00 AM Flag
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That seems sufficient height and weight. I took ds out when he was 8. He is now 10 and I believe only one small friend is still using one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:16 AM Flag
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This is about how he sits in your car. Does he pass the 5 step test in your car? My ds had to use a booster in dh's car but not mine for awhile. https://csftl.org/the-five-step-test/ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:30 AM Flag
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I would keep him in it as long as possible. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:28 AM Flag
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My dd topped out at 4'9" and 95lbs. She's getting her license this week. If I followed all the guidelines she would have still been in a booster seat taking her driving lessons. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 11:54 AM Flag
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I stopped a long time ago and my youngest is about to turn 10. I never drive so that may be why, but I stopped dragging it around with me in rental cars when my youngest turned 8 I think. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:21 PM Flag
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Go the "car seat lady" website. She has a ll the facts regarding ages/weights/etc. I think height is the main factor. Check her site ! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:21 PM Flag
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The booster seat is there to make sure the seatbelt is hitting him at the proper level, i'e, not touching the neck, and hits across the shoulder. In an accident the belt hitting forcibly around the neck can be deadly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:04 PM Flag
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Adults who are 5 ft can ride without a booster. My 9yo is a bit short so we use the built-in Volvo booster. Older child has always been tall for his age and we quit using the booster when he was 8 and 4'9". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:07 PM Flag
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They can, but if you are in an accident, just know that a seatbelt over your neck is going to cause serious spinal injuries. (signed 5' person) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:52 PM Flag
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He's taller than me, I don't use a booster seat! (although I am careful about the airbag situation for short people. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:08 PM Flag
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legally required till age 8. we stopped prob about 4' 6'' [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:32 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone know anything about Hudson valley schools?May be moving to New Paltz and are looking at schools for dc. See there is day option at Storm King. Anyone know it? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:38 AM Flag
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Watching! I dream of moving to rhinebeck [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:37 PM Flag
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We have a place in rhinebeck and love it. Gave some thought to moving there. Public schools aren't great. Good private schools all seemed to be 30-60 minutes away. I'm not familiar with the new paltz area. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:40 PM Flag
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