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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Live in the city, 3 DCs in private school grades 1-5. How many afterschool and weekend activities do those similarly-situated have your children in? I always feel like we have too many but it's hard to know what to cull. TIA. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:29 PM Flag
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We do nothing. Honestly. 4 kids. Yes we can afford to, but will have them carve out their own interests. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:38 PM Flag
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your kids must be young [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:23 AM Flag
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Range 5-11yo [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:06 AM Flag
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when will they do that? like what age? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:28 AM Flag
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Good for you. Let them be kids vs little robots. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:53 AM Flag
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2 afterschool and 1 on weekend. 3 total [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:55 PM Flag
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+1 for our 6yo. Our 3yo tags along and does a dance class at the same time as the older one on one of those days. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:57 PM Flag
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My 6 year old has 6 activities total. 2 after school, one evening after dinner (chess), and 2 on weekends [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:29 PM Flag
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This is insane. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:17 AM Flag
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3 after school and 1 on weekend for 2 DCs, 1 does something every day [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:32 PM Flag
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One really intense activity for the older one (ballet), plus instrument (pretty casually). The younger one (first grade) has only afterschool couple days a week and a weekly swim class. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:46 PM Flag
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3 dcs, each have two weekend activities, one sport and one non-sport (coordinated with each other when possible). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:46 AM Flag
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Is anyone doing anything for their DCs who will be in K? I haven’t signed up for anything, since I assumed DC will need time to adjust to new school and schedule. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:49 AM Flag
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Yes, 4 activities [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:06 AM Flag
[ - ] I just bought a couple of pounds of dinosaur egg pluots ... very excited to try them. How have I not seen these before? Cross between plum & apricot. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:34 PM Flag
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I love pluots! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:11 PM Flag
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I think I live under a rock sometimes! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:16 PM Flag
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I live in california and trader joe's has them in the summers. Maybe they just made it to your area? I think I like them better than apricots. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:31 PM Flag
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Yes! I am in the Bay Area get them every week at the farmers market. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:48 PM Flag
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I'd like a peach crossed with an apricot, that would be delicious. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:18 PM Flag
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apreach? peachicot? hmmm [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:32 PM Flag
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I only learned about them from a show the kids were watching. Just add magic I think. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:08 AM Flag
[ - ] Jeans are so stiff and uncomfortable, make me sweat. What is the appeal? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:34 PM Flag
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Depends on the kind, no? I get the ones with a little lycra and they aren't stiff at all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:39 PM Flag
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OP: I have tried those, but they get pushed down by my muffin top. lol. Also, jeans just make me sweaty (granted. I am in southern Cal). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:48 PM Flag
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I only wear jeans in the cold months. I agree, super hot and sweaty (in NYC). I wear dresses instead. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:22 PM Flag
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OP: Same. I'm most comfortable in cute, comfy knee-length skirts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:31 PM Flag
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OR: Ok that makes sense. I used to live in FL and never wore jeans. Only shorts/skirts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:14 PM Flag
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You have to get mud or high rise to avoid this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:51 AM Flag
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What do you wear instead? I am so sick of jeans. I haven't found any other pants that look okay on me though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:16 AM Flag
[ - ] MIL made a comment that really stung (not in front of DH). DD is working on college apps and is a strong student, but her math/science grades and test scores are lower than in her humanities/verbal subjects. DH is a really strong math/science person and MIL made the comment that DD "obviously didn't take after their side of the family" and "must have gotten it from you" [meaning me]. Somehow this really hurt because I'm not good at math/science and it made me feel like I somehow let her down or limited her options. I just laughed and said "Yeah, I guess so..." but I've been thinking about it all weekend. Am I being too sensitive? 28 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:22 PM Flag
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Not the nicest, but if she were a nice person, I assume you would have realized she was just joshing, so I am assuming now that this is not the first dig she's gotten in a dig and it's a pattern. Anyway, if that comment made you feel THAT bad, you have some real self-esteem issues. Consider all the great genetic traits you handed her down! If this bugs you for an entire weekend, it's more your prob than your MIL's [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:28 PM Flag
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Typical MIL comment. Ignore. Verbal skills and aptitude are more important for success in life if her science skills are good enough [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:32 PM Flag
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Absolutely unnecessary comment. Is she always snarky? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:32 PM Flag
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It's unpredictable. She might be nice or she might make some passive aggressive comment that stings. She's always made it clear that she doesn't think I am as smart as DH and "their side" of the family. She makes quasi-pejorative comments about me being "the social one" and whether or not various kids in the family got "the family brains". I don't want to get defensive about it, but DD is very talented in her areas of strength, including winning writing awards and being published in a few small publications--plus high grades and SAT scores in English. She is also more social (like me) and had lots of friends and an active social life (which MIL doesn't place much value on). I just feel like MIL is picking on the thing I'm not good at using it to be hurtful. FWIW, DH was a talented all-around student (HYP) and I have more clear-cut areas of strength and weakness (not math and not HYP). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:47 PM Flag
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She will die one day, maybe soon. Let it go. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:38 PM Flag
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Perhaps she meant she got her excellent humanities skills from your side of the family? How is this a negative? Also, it's probably true, no? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:39 PM Flag
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She's a dolt. I would have countered with "well, I guess she gets my tact and kindness from my side". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:40 PM Flag
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OP: Lol. God, I wish I had thought of this in the moment! The perfect reply! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:48 PM Flag
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lol! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:11 PM Flag
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I hope she didn't say that where your kids could hear either. Shut down the info train - your kids' grades and test scores are not any of her business. Also, your MIL is a bitch. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:13 PM Flag
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No, no kids were around and neither was DH (he would have said something and she knows it). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:15 PM Flag
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Next time call her on that. Say "I know you would not say that in front of Bob so don't say it to me" and walk away. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:18 PM Flag
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THIS or do the old, "Why would you say that, Helen?" thing and just look at her like she is from another planet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:33 PM Flag
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reading the rest of what you put above, she really REALLY is a bitch. I would limit time around her. Yuck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:34 PM Flag
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My MIL and SILs do this in front of my 15 year old DS. Oh, what a pity you don’t look like your dad! Your dad is so handsome. You look so much like your mom. He tells them he is just fine with what he sees on the mirror and there is a big sigh and oh you have no idea. My DH just doesn’t deal with this situations well. And it is a nightmare. But I have decided I have had enough. I have taken their crap but no more as far as my child is concerned. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:50 PM Flag
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that is so harmful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:52 PM Flag
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It is. They also tell me he is way behind other kids they know. FWIW my DC is at Hunter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:54 PM Flag
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OP: Yikes. And I thought my MIL was bad...but this sounds crazy. If this stuff is being said in front of your DS, I would totally shut it down. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:59 PM Flag
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I am going to. Am meeting them soon and am going in prepped mentally. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:00 PM Flag
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Good luck! I would tell MIL that I find these comments destructive and hurtful. What a whack job! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:09 PM Flag
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WHY are you even around them at all? DROP THEM. Your dh can go sit and listen to their bs if he can't get his shit together. But you and your son don't need to go. Don't bother confronting them - they know what they are doing and they will just keep doing it. Just CUT THEM OFF. This is crazy shit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:25 AM Flag
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actually none of your children should be there. SHEESH, where is Flip A Table Mom and THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS Mom when we need them? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:26 AM Flag
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Your MIL also sounds crazy but at least she is sparing your DC for the moment. I keep telling some of my friends to kick me in the butt if I ever show signs of being “that MIL”:) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:02 PM Flag
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I know! I don't understand what these MILs are thinking. It impacts the relationship with our whole family. I would never want to be sidelined by my DC because I was an ass to their spouse. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:07 PM Flag
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Your husband is an adult. You should have dropped them all long ago. I can't imagine a dad letting this go but you need to stand up for your kids. You should laugh in his face the next time he asks if you are going to see them. LAUGH IN HIS FACE and say HELL NO. I am so angry that your ds has to deal with this and your dh has Stockholm syndrome or something. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:28 AM Flag
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And you still allow these people to have access to your kids?! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:26 AM Flag
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Yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:48 AM Flag
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“At least she knows how to pick her u dearest up off the floor. She got that from my side too.” [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:49 AM Flag
[ - ] I have posted about my bf who did not meet me for the last two months. He joined a new job at the same time where he had to travel M-Thu. We went silent. Finally, I had enough and called him. He told me that he is almost on the verge of getting fired from new job. His boss was upset with him and accused him on project failure. He is trying to stay afloat with so difficult work situation and under lots of stress. Should i give him another chance? I am upset that he did not communicate his tough situation. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:12 PM Flag
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^^ I was on my own to figure out what went wrong. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:14 PM Flag
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No. He sounds like a loser. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:14 PM Flag
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You have not met with you bf for the last two months? If so, he is not your bf. Is he even asking for another chance? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:20 PM Flag
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All that could be true. He still could have done a two line text. I wouldn’t believe this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:20 PM Flag
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Why on earth would you want to torture yourself further with this person ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:39 PM Flag
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How is he your boyfriend if you haven't seen him in months? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:51 PM Flag
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He stopped being your boyfriend two months ago. You will find someone better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:50 PM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:40 AM Flag
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THIS. He’s done. Time for you to be too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:27 AM Flag
[ - ] Men always marry younger. So unfair. Went to a wedding, groom was 40. Bride is 30. He wants kids ASAP. He wins. Why do they always marry younger?! 59 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:54 PM Flag
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Marry a younger man. Solved. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:55 PM Flag
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Rare [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:58 PM Flag
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Irrelevant. If it's what you want, go do it. There's no law. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:06 PM Flag
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Because youth is prized in women. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:55 PM Flag
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Why? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:57 PM Flag
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Fertility. I didn’t say i agreed with it. I am just stating that this is how it is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:02 PM Flag
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This. The unfortunate truth [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:50 PM Flag
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why the f do you think? honestly. Oh no! are you an alien learning about the human species on urbanbaby? my apologies! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:11 PM Flag
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Youth is prized in men too, but youth also means lower socio-economic standing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:36 PM Flag
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No they don't. Most people I went to college with married their contemporaries. I think the age sometimes widens as people get older. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:56 PM Flag
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I agree. But having kids at 40 is not ideal for BOTH men and woman. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:46 PM Flag
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A 10 year difference isn't the norm. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:56 PM Flag
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What about 7? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:57 PM Flag
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no [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:21 PM Flag
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What is normal in 2019? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:58 PM Flag
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Dh is 9 years older than me. And many of the moms I met in my local mom group in UMC Brooklyn were married to guys 10 years older. I think its more a testament that these days guys in their early-mid 30s generally aren't ready to settle down and women are. So they end up with older men who are done with the games and BS and never really got into the whole Tinder/Match thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:20 PM Flag
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^ Not to say some of those couple didn't meet online, I meant people that use those sites solely for hooking up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:21 PM Flag
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Within a 3 year gap. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:22 PM Flag
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According to? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:23 PM Flag
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_age_at_first_marriage#Americas_(incomplete) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:28 PM Flag
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And you have gleaned this information from where? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:23 PM Flag
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https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201904/what-we-know-about-age-gaps-in-dating-love-and-marriage [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:28 PM Flag
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I got married last year and DH is a little over a year older than me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:29 PM Flag
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Men die sooner then women. Eh [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:57 PM Flag
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Why would a women want a man 7+ years older? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:58 PM Flag
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Why not? When I was 25 men my age were still really immature and unsettled in their lives. I married DH who is 8 years older and we've been together for almost 25 years. A good partner in life is hard to come by so why limit your choices? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:06 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:08 PM Flag
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Love? My DH almost 20 yrs older. Not rich. He’s still fit and healthy. 2 awesome DCs. I realize I may outlive him and/or have to care for him, but that could happen if we were same age. My DF’s boyfriend who she’s been with for 5 years after divorcing her much older DH, just died of cancer at 29. So you never know. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:29 PM Flag
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Her boyfriend was 10 years younger. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:30 PM Flag
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That is about the ages DH and I were when we got married. It wasn't some huge scandal. Whats the big deal? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:59 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:08 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:08 PM Flag
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So this! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:09 PM Flag
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Hi MRA troll [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:11 PM Flag
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Because men are more established at this age and they get to pick and choose. A younger woman is generally more attractive than a woman in her 40s. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:12 PM Flag
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Does anyone see this demographic changing? About 50% of my married friends divorced, and of that 50% all are dating/remarried to men anywhere from one to eleven years younger. They all remarried seemingly great guys too, with comparable professions, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:16 PM Flag
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It's retribution for when younger women chose men who were older & more established. Things have a way of evening out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:19 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:05 PM Flag
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The only people who are worried about this are Incels who can't get a date with anyone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:24 PM Flag
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I don’t think most guys can pull this off but the ones that do are usually tall, good looking and successful. Their ability to pull a younger women is usually more tied to this than their age. Often they end up with women who are not very career oriented and are just looking for a man to support them so age is less important than the ability to provide. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:33 PM Flag
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Wow, way to generalize [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:42 PM Flag
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That made me laugh out loud. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:26 PM Flag
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LOL, no [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:40 PM Flag
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It did make me LOL. Sorry you didn’t witness it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:58 PM Flag
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why does he win? This was DH and I . had dc when I was 35 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:02 PM Flag
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Idk, so find an older guy? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:40 PM Flag
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Most of my female friends' husbands are younger. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:00 PM Flag
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I'm more than 10 years older than my dh + have several couple friends where the woman is older too. it's not always the case at all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:20 PM Flag
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I don’t know my aunt married 25 years younger and had a baby at 47- they have now been married over 20 years- another close friend the same married 30 years [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:55 AM Flag
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It makes sense biologically, young men don't have a hard time impregnating even older women. So, as a woman in your 40s desiring to have kids, you should really look for much younger men, or sperm donors if doing this on your own. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:24 PM Flag
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i'm older than my husband. my mom is significantly older than my stepdad. its not as uncommon as you think. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 11:16 AM Flag
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it actually is uncommon. Your particular family is not reflective of the rest of the world. Obviously couples where the man is signifivcantly younger than the women EXIST, but its not common. Its the exception. eyeroll [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:09 PM Flag
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So you have just noticed that women are prized for youth, beauty, fertility and that men are prized on wisdom and earning power. Welcome to feminism 101. As a women, the older you get, the less you are valued by society. As long as a man is successful in business, he's valued. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:14 PM Flag
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It's the patriarchal way of the world where power and money belong to men, it's not purely biology. If you were to reverse who has most of the economic power, you will see older women marrying younger men and having kids with them. As it is in any society, young men and women would always get together anyway and you still will see plenty of couples of the same age, men and women in their 20s and early 30s aren't looking to date too much outside of their age group unless they are looking purely for economic benefits. Biologically older men and women are both affected by aging, men are having problems in that area too and it's not easy for them to impregnate women with declining fertility if their is declining too. They naturally have to seek much younger women and older women with declining fertility naturally want to seek younger men. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:31 PM Flag
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Older men marry younger women, because their genetic material is aging too, and their chances to have healthy offspring diminish with women their age. If you notice, young men don't have this tendency or urge to date or marry younger women. Those who get together in their 20s tend to be the same age couples. There is no biological need for young men to want younger women and they are not even averse to older women, they are virile enough. Men who stay single until they are 40 are a different story. Women in their 40s desiring to become pg on their own don't seek sperm of older men, they go for young sperm donors and for a reason. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:21 PM Flag
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Have you seen the French President? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 05:32 PM Flag
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Five years older than DH. Ditto for another good friend. Slightly smaller span for another. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:30 PM Flag
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The thing is, I'm 40 and can't imagine wanting to marry a 30 yo man. I guess he'd be better-looking but I imagine someone really immature. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 10:25 PM Flag
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But if you were looking to have kids by yourself, would you choose a 40-something sperm donor or a 30- year old one? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:02 AM Flag
[ - ] What is your 13 year old boy wearing? My kids are all in uniforms for school and in sports clothes the rest of the time. My oldest (13) is very laid back, doesn't ask for anything and isn't a stuff person, so if I ask him what he wants to wear, he will just say "whatever you think" or "what I have is fine". He's thin, 5'10, growing a ton right now. Any ideas where I can get casual stuff or just things to wear when hanging out with friends, etc.? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:13 PM Flag
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funny tshirts, athletic shorts or pants, hoodies [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:17 PM Flag
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Kids this age basically wear gym clothes all the time. I don’t remember the last time I saw a boy in jeans. Girls are also ultra casual. Shorts or leggings and t shirts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:23 PM Flag
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I’ve noticed this at my kids school, athleisure all the time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:26 PM Flag
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np: I can’t believe jeans are falling out of favor. I guess everything passes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:30 PM Flag
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My kids act like jeans are formal wear. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:54 PM Flag
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Even my mom friends rarely wear jeans around town. Gym clothes all the time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:25 PM Flag
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Right? DD has zero interest in jeans. Leggings/joggers only. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:02 PM Flag
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They'll be back [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:55 PM Flag
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OP: That's pretty much what he has and what he always wants. Sounds like I just need to keep him stocked in that stuff and not worry about having jeans or anything else. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:33 PM Flag
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Just chiming in to add; my teenage son wears mostly gym clothes as described, but has a few pairs of jeans. They work when he’s feeling like dressing up for school (sigh), or on very cold winter days when track pants (even the lined ones) just aren’t heavy enough. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:56 PM Flag
[ - ] Dear UB, for this school year I am going to be getting a kindergartener off the bus every Tuesday and every other Friday, and keeping her up to 2 hours until her dad can get her after work. He said I can just set her up with a tablet and she's great but I feel like I want to think about doing a cool thing. Would you try and do a simple recipe in the kitchen with her every week? Her dad's a single dad and I'm thinking super basic like cookies or cornbread or muffins. 59 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:10 PM Flag
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I would follow her lead and just play with her. Maybe bake sometimes. Do you have toys? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:13 PM Flag
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No more toys. Some kids books. I like the homework idea a lot ... plus I can always have something set up to teach her something in the kitchen if she seems in the mood. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:20 PM Flag
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why no toys? Are you minimalist? get her some small figurines to play. or art supplies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:08 AM Flag
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That sounds great! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:13 PM Flag
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I would get her homework done with her on Tuesdays so he doesn't have to do it after he picks her up, and do a craft or bake another time. Nice idea! Very kind of you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:15 PM Flag
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op. OH WOW this never occurred to me. I am definitely going to do this !!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:17 PM Flag
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I knew you were the right people to ask! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:18 PM Flag
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I meant, do a craft or bake after the homework is done or on Fridays (when they don't give homework to kindys, usually). Kids this age love projects and crafts, so cooking or crafting would be a hit, I'm guessing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:36 PM Flag
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Are you married? If not, go for it. If you are married and this guy is single I'd be a little weirded out about teaching another woman's DD how to bake and so would my DH. Maybe I'm just a little crazy or a jealous wretch but I would not want to become the target of anyone's rage DH or his ex-DW over baking cookies or muffins. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:17 PM Flag
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Weird take. The adults need to act like adults and let the focus be where it belongs, on what's best for the child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:19 PM Flag
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this is not a normal response [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:21 PM Flag
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So okay to look after her? But not do something fun? Weird. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:22 PM Flag
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I'm sorry this sounds weird to you. I've been in very awkward situations where I'm just trying to help a kid out and the parent gets weird. Both DH and I have been in awkward situations like this as he tutors in Math and I tutor in Reading that is why I said maybe I'm just a little crazy. Glad I got validation! OP yes, teach the girl how to bake it will be something she remembers forever! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:28 PM Flag
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If someone is hiring you to tutor and you take it on yourself to expand that role, the parent might be irritated. That's not the same though as what OP is doing (filling the time during babysitting) or what you said which (inexplicably) seemed to tie the marital status of the babysitter to whether she should teach a single dad's daughter how to cook because it might offend the (not mentioned once) non-custodial or possibly dead birth mother? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:35 PM Flag
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We volunteer as tutors and we never go outside that boundary. People are very possessive about who teaches their kid to do what, they just are. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:39 PM Flag
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I have an issue with the idea that it is overstepping for a woman to bake with a girl, but wouldn't be an issue with a boy? Cooking and baking is all about math and chemistry and it is great for all kids. And this isn't shopping for what to wear to prom. It is baking muffins. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:42 PM Flag
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It would be the same with a boy being taught how to cook, clean, do laundry, go fishing, grilling or fix a motorcycle. Some parents are possessive about their kids and don't believe it takes a village. I'm not one of them but I've met parents like this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:53 PM Flag
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this is a BABYSITTER, not the neighborhood witch from Hansel and Gretel! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:41 PM Flag
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Wow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:31 PM Flag
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Do you really think it would be that outrageous considering the MP about the guy who lied about his wife having cancer? I don't. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:34 PM Flag
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I don't conflate the two. Plus, I don't understand the whole "are you married or not thing." She's not raising the kid. So they bake something together, so what. If she'd like, she can ask before hand. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:37 PM Flag
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The little girl will get attached to her is why I asked the question. Cooking is fun and it is something one does to bond with another person and share. To me, it is a lot to take on with a child I don't know and whose mom is not in the picture. As we've seen on UB, situations get awkward around childcare all the time doesn't mean anyone is bad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:45 PM Flag
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That's okay if you feel that way, but honestly, I think you're reading way more into than necessary. Cooking and baking is also a skill set. It's a nice way to learn to understand fractions. I simply don't attach it exclusively to motherly love. I don't think I'm alone in this. It's a babysitting gig. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:53 PM Flag
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I guess it was the fact that she pointed out he is a single dad that threw me into the mindset of crazy. I'm married to a mathematician and I am an avid chef because he can't cook so I totally get her heart is in the right place. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:02 PM Flag
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Yikes, I'm not sure how you could possibly relate these two posts. Are you okay or do you often mix things up and go off the deep end? Is this a change? Are you under extreme stress? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:45 PM Flag
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This made me laugh, no it's the first day of school what could possibly be wrong!! I said above "maybe I'm just a little crazy" as I said, I got validation from UB. I'm a little crazy. Do I get a nickname too? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:56 PM Flag
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First Day of School Overly Paranoid Mom? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:14 PM Flag
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No, first day of eighth grade for my youngest. I was actually telling one of my adult sons about this thread and the is she married thing was the first thing he asked. I told him I got flamed and he pointed out what it would be like if there were a mom in the picture or if the babysitter is married. He is 22 and gay so no dog in the fight. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:07 PM Flag
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I mean that could be your name, not that you just now have a kinder student. I think that you and your ds are products of the subculture that you live in, which is probably why the marital status of the babysitter has zero to do with baking for the rest of us. Do you live in an area where single parents are unusual? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:18 PM Flag
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Also that your dh would care what activities you do with a child you are babysitting and be weirded out, or that your adult son would have the same questions... this is just really really odd. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:39 PM Flag
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Ok, you’ve raised your kid to be as weird as you! How do baking and being married go together? What activities would be acceptable to you in this situation? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:59 PM Flag
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Wow, you sound unhinged, TBH. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:44 PM Flag
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How old are you? How much do you know about actually being married and having children? You sound naive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:09 PM Flag
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NP No, it is crazy that if the sitter is married, anyone would think she SHOULDN'T bake with the kid, but it would be okay if the sitter is unmarried. It is like the 1950s all over again when women would be expected to resign after their wedding. Just crazy pants. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:21 PM Flag
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but probably OP shouldn't wear pants either... you know, if she is a married woman. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:21 PM Flag
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I would do homework or play a game. I might do the baking thing once a month - themed to the season or next holiday. Is he a divorced dad? if so, Just feeling a bit for the ExW in this situation. I know non sequitur. Note: a lot of 5/6 year olds are ravenous at pick up. I would bring a snack. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:38 PM Flag
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op. She's finally only a few feet from me watching Garfield. She doesn't want to sit down. She said she had her after school snack while waiting at school to be picked up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:34 PM Flag
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Just make sure the mess from cooking is cleaned up before he gets home. I'd love it if someone baked with my kids, I just wouldn't want the mess to be on my shoulders when I come home from work! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:43 PM Flag
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Is it all day kindergarten? My kids were kind of fried by the end of the day and tired of holding it together. Don't be surprised or dismayed if she just rants and is generally cranky for a solid hour. Have a snack ready; don't push her to "be" anything (she's been doing that for 8 hours). Just my two cents. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:55 PM Flag
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I agree. An activity at the end of the day is the last thing most kindergartners need, unless it is simply playing in the playground. I also like to point out things during the walk from the bus--kids can learn to identify birds, trees, and flowers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:06 PM Flag
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^^^ Get some good books to read to the child. Strega Nona by Tomie dePaola and books by Philip Stead (A Sick Day for Amos McGee, A Home for Bird, Bear Has a Story to Tell) are great for this age. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:13 PM Flag
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Awww I loved Amos McGee! A very sweet story and wonderful illustrations. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:43 PM Flag
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op. Sorry I am back - we had a bit of an emergency. She was supposed to get off the bus but the school messed up and she stayed after for pick-up. So I had to high-tail it over to the school to grab her. Emergency #2 I had no booster seat ... but we just buckled up and crossed fingers. I told her she was going to pretend to be a big girl. It's about a ten minute drive - we're home now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:24 PM Flag
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She was great on the ride home - but suddenly coming home she balked and didn't want to come in and started crying for her Dad. Right now we're halfway, I've got her favorite Garfield show on, and she's in the doorway of the living room watching it. She's keeping her backpack on and she's still holding her water bottle. Whoops! She just got closer. In another few steps she may even be on the couch. I think we need one day of her realizing her dad will definitely come get her. No homework yet! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:28 PM Flag
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PS also I am 55 and dad is 24 and my son's best friend ... no creepies [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:32 PM Flag
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PPS She's finally on the couch, now I can get up and go do dishes, lol. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:39 PM Flag
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first two weeks of K are a big and tiring transition. good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:54 PM Flag
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I think we'll be good. By the end she was just chattering away, and her dad got her right at 5:15. I definitely had to pull out an old skill set for the hour though. You forget what they're like at certain ages. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:27 PM Flag
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I think you'll end up being good friends. You will enjoy this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:48 PM Flag
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Ha, ha! I'm the poster from above that got flamed for speculating the OP teaching someone else's DD to bake would be awkward. So glad you gave us the update, I'm close to your age and I saw red flags for a young woman in the situation described. This will be so much fun, and yes baking is better than Garfield at some point. She will love you forever which is of course what my adult son said too! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:22 PM Flag
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So, it’s not a marital status thing, it’s an age thing, now. Seriously, you sound insane. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:00 PM Flag
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Thanks for the d/x mine is simpler, you sound single or divorced. Clearly if you are in a relationship you don't understand even half of what the other person might be thinking. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:54 PM Flag
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“Red flags’. Omg, you are so weird. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:03 PM Flag
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Are you the poster where the best friend lives in your guest house? It will all be fine and you are close family friends. You can bake with her (although she may be too tired). You are a lovely person. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:23 PM Flag
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op. It's me. After I picked her up at the local elementary school (she was the last one picked up today) I told her a story going home about how my dad moved to take a new job when I was 5. He took me with him to the east coast from Kentucky since he needed to start his job, and I was oldest so could start school. My mom and my younger baby siblings stayed behind to sell the house and pack up. My dad found a room to rent from an older man who had a huge house. The first day of school I got off the bus at a different stop from the older guy's house and I was "missing" for a while because I got off at a stop where there was no one in residence, no one knew who my dad was, and I couldn't remember where I lived or the name of the man whose home we were staying in. It was well before Amber-alert but i was a missing kid for about 24 hours in NYS [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:28 PM Flag
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Wow, that must have been so scary for you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:36 PM Flag
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WOW! That is a story! Your dad must have been so scared. And you must have been so scared too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:41 AM Flag
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Whatever you want. Mine would want to shoot hoops, or ride a bike. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:41 PM Flag
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NO SCREENS. I would buy some craft stuff. Crayons, Markers, Paper, stickers, etc. Let her entertain herself screen-free. Listen to Top 40 radio, have dance parties. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:07 AM Flag
[ - ] What’s the best subway app? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:04 PM Flag
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I use Citymapper or Google maps for directions. For subway times, I use the MTA app. For just the map, I use AllSubway which has maps of all the subway systems in the world. I like that one because the map opens up to the size of your phone and you just zoom in. When you open it in the MTA app, it opens big and there's no zoom in or out so you have to move it around your screen. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:30 PM Flag
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I use My MTA when I am at home and need to plan a route to an unfamiliar place. You have to enter start and end points and then you get the options. Going to work in the morning, I just check MTA Subway Time to see if my train is on time and the service is regular. I also use MTA Bus Time for my bus connection. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:09 PM Flag
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and I always check The Weekender on the MTA website to see changes for the weekend [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:10 PM Flag
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Thanks! Is MTA subway time an app? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:25 PM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:43 PM Flag
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Here's what it looks like: http://subwaytime.mta.info [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:09 PM Flag
[ - ] HR moms or other professional moms: Interview advice please: I finally got an interview, after sending so many applications... it is for a position in HR (senior HR consultant) but my experience is in communications and media (20+ years) I am surprised they are considering me for this, but want to do well, I really need the job. I have a phone interview tomorrow and just found out this morning... could you please give me some advice to prepare? Thank you. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:54 PM Flag
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Think about how your previous job skills can fit this new role - review the job description point by point. Also, talk about why you are interested in making a career change to HR - what about it interests you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:34 PM Flag
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Think about your transferable skillsets - and why they are a great match for the role. They're calling you because they suspect there are overlaps. Read the job description thoroughly - and research the company - so you're asking interesting/informed questions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:10 PM Flag
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Neutral quiet setting, dress professionally, sit in a real chair (this will make you feel like you are "on".). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:43 PM Flag
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op- sorry for not responding sooner, had to go pick up dc and run errands... Thank you to all of you, will do my homework and hopefully goes OK [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:27 PM Flag
[ - ] DS (6) can be kind of difficult/ defiant/ emotional and thrives off positive reinforcement and calm, regulated parenting. The problem is that I am a human being and not a robot and now in the tail end of summer; it is showing more and more (i get frustrated at his behavior and kind of harried and occasionally yell). It only makes things worse and then I feel worse. Anyone else in the same boat? I sometimes feel i am the only parent who is unravelling inside and unable to keep my cool. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:45 PM Flag
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My DD was like this around 6 but now at 8 she is infinitely better. I always found our worst times were near the end of a school break. I have had her to see a counselor and been to parent coaching with DH. Best thing for us has been to avoid the triggers before they happen. Smooth out the parts of the day that lead to conflict. It's OK to avoid the battles vs and also OK to give in and above all good to be positive. Let me know if you have specific questions/examples. My DD has no diagnosis but we had her evaluated to rule it out - they said she is fine but you need to learn how to parent her better LOL. It worked well but I also think just natural maturity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:51 PM Flag
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we are actually enrolled in a parenting course that starts soon - I am excited about learning more! I think some kids you just need to be a really good parent to and i have very few natural skills! I would love to hear any specific advice or examples you can give! Ds basically acts out and gets annoying and doesn't listen any time he has a feeling. So if he has a feeling he'll just express it by being mean. And do it over and over and over until i run out of empathy and screech at him to stop. He also screams a lot for no apparent reason (eg you try to put sunscreen on him and he'll act like it was painful). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:55 PM Flag
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The parenting coach talked to us about ignoring behavior. But what I would do is say to DD "we've talked about this, we are not [going to the toy store], so if you keep bringing it up I'm just going to ignore it." Then she knew what I was ignoring and why vs just feeling like I was being cruel. Also the coach explained about "extinction bursts" which is when they really pull out all the stops on a tantrum to try to get you to relent. When you think DC is at their craziest and you are despairing, it may be an extinction burst! We also came to know that too much screentime was a trigger. Also, let's say Sunday morning we go to church at 11. We come in around 10:15 to say "turn off TV, get dressed". Big drama ensues. Instead, we made a rule that you can't turn it on until you are dressed. Similarly, waking her a bit earlier in the morning to just allow for the time before school without being rushed. Therapist clarified for me that avoiding the hot buttons does not mean you are tip-toeing around your child and molding the world for their comfort. It's just getting the family through the young childhood years. You don't have to be rigid in not accommodating their small issues and making things worse. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:00 PM Flag
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My DD was like this around 6 but now at 8 she is infinitely better. I always found our worst times were near the end of a school break. I have had her to see a counselor and been to parent coaching with DH. Best thing for us has been to avoid the triggers before they happen. Smooth out the parts of the day that lead to conflict. It's OK to avoid the battles vs and also OK to give in and above all good to be positive. Let me know if you have specific questions/examples. My DD has no diagnosis but we had her evaluated to rule it out - they said she is fine but you need to learn how to parent her better LOL. It worked well but I also think just natural maturity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:51 PM Flag
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^ Sorry for double post. Best thing is to remember that they want to please you and they are not doing anything to get to you. We need to help them be their best selves. It's a virtuous cycle because when they feel good they find the inner strength to self-regulate better and it is self-enforcing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:55 PM Flag
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Don't be so hard on yourself. No parent remains cool all the time, if they tell you so, they are lying. We are only human and sometimes kids can be annoying. Just do the best you can and don't sweat the small stuff. FWIW, everyone thrives off of positive reinforcement and calm, regulated parenting. But parents aren't robots and I think it's good for kids to see that there is a connection between their poor behavior and the impact it causes on other people. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:10 PM Flag
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I am ready to throw my sweet 4 yo dd out of the window, so it’s not just you ! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:47 PM Flag
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That's what margaritas are for. Seriously some ages really push your buttons. My kids were fine even if I "lost" it once in a while. I think it just showed them that I was human too. I would put myself in a time out--locked my bedroom door and just lay down for a 15 minute break. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:44 PM Flag
[ - ] For a daily clean, how do you clean your wood floors. Right now I just sweep, but wondering if vacuuming makes sense 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:45 PM Flag
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I use the vacuum when I'm doing the rugs over the whole floor. Like to use the attachments to get around the baseboards, furniture, etc. I spot sweep otherwise. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:47 PM Flag
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I don't have any carpets [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:53 PM Flag
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Doesn't matter, I just threw in the carpet thing because I have carpets. Didn't say you were required to have carpets in order to use a vacuum. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:26 PM Flag
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roomba daily, mop weekly [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:52 PM Flag
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On wood? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:53 PM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:56 PM Flag
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np - Bona mop [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:57 PM Flag
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I go back and forth on whether a Roomba would make my life easier. I find myself constantly sweeping. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:02 PM Flag
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Np- what else would you do? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:13 PM Flag
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Sweep and mop [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:22 PM Flag
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vacuum works better than broom. but i rarely do everyday [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:03 PM Flag
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Dyson animal cordless stick vac. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:19 PM Flag
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vacuum and mop once a week. Then I have a eureka, rechargeable stick vacuum for quick spot cleanups as needed, especially in the kitchen [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:00 PM Flag
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Same here. But we also don’t wear shoes indoors and have no pets. I do the Swifer dry mop if it starts getting too dusty. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:15 PM Flag
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Vacuuming with the proper tool is great for a wood floor.(I use the Miele parquet floor attachment.) I don't mop my polyurethaned floors, but we don't wear shoes in the house. On a daily basis I just sweep up crumbs and things with a hand brush and dustpan. I would be careful of a stiff broom, depending on how your floor is finished. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:20 PM Flag
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I don't clean my floors daily. I sweep the kitchen. Wood floors, 1x a week with a vacuum. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:44 PM Flag
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I sometimes follow with a swiffer or cloth mop to get the fine dust that might linger. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:45 PM Flag
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Sweep and Swiffer wet jet. Twice a week. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:05 PM Flag
[ - ] Advice on where to shop for appliances? Been to home depot and PC Richardson, but any other obvious places we should shop that I'm not thinking of? Looking to invest in mid-range options (need to purchase for two rental units and our unit). Thanks! 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:30 PM Flag
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We've been getting stuff from PC Richards for years. They've always been great. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:32 PM Flag
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OP - Have you ever done their 10% deposit / layaway option? It seems really nice b/c we want to take advantage of the labor day sales but can't really store these appliances till they're installed in Dec. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:36 PM Flag
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No, we haven't done that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:37 PM Flag
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I always go through Home Depot now [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:37 PM Flag
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did PC richards and purchased 5 yr warranty with suite of appliances. DW broke year 4, and they gave me a new one for free! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:04 PM Flag
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I’ve been very happy with gringer. Small shop so great service. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:38 PM Flag
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In NY Liebert Royal Green has good prices and good service. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:45 PM Flag
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Gringer's on 1st and 1st, let's support NYC small businesses! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:26 PM Flag
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I found the best prices at AJ Madison and have generally been happy (the microwave had a small dent and they refunded me some money). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:38 PM Flag
[ - ] Called in to a new job for a close family friend funeral my boss has been lovely about it. But should I send her the obit since she doesn’t know me yet? 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:00 PM Flag
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OP: since it occurred on Tuesday of long weekend.. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:01 PM Flag
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is there a HR Dept? Can you ask for protocol? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:09 PM Flag
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I will. Thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:12 PM Flag
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Punctuation is your friend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:11 PM Flag
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Shut up. I just left a funeral. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:12 PM Flag
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Yet you're here on UB. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:15 PM Flag
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Yes. Because I just started a new job, had to take a day off on a long weekend for a funeral & came her looking for advice. Too much to hope someone’s decent would be on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:22 PM Flag
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Calm down. It doesn’t matter what she says. My job required on obit to use bereavement days. Call HR and find out if you need to document, them let it go. I’m sorry for your loss. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:36 PM Flag
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Thank you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:45 PM Flag
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I'm sorry. Please ignore her. I'm very sorry for your loss. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:49 PM Flag
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This. By adulthood, typing a sentence shouldn't require an optimal emotional state. There is no excuse for run-on sentences. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:59 PM Flag
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I would send boss a quick email today, thanking her for understanding and say, "I have attached a copy of the obituary for your records - would you like me to forward to HR? Thank you again for the accommodation today, I really appreciate it and I'm looking forward to joining your team." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:34 PM Flag
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I can’t imagine doing this at a job. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:37 PM Flag
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NP: yes, I don't think you need to take it that far. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:40 PM Flag
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As an established employee, no, I would not. But as a brand new employee, I think it would be a good gesture. I'm sure the boss won't need it, but she'll appreciate that the new employee wanted to provide the information. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:40 PM Flag
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Thanks all! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:49 PM Flag
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If I were a boss, and actually I am!, and someone did this, if find it very weird. A professional adult would not tack on an extra day to a long weekend with a fake excuse of a funeral. It would signal to me that you don’t think highly of yourself, or potentially, that you are worried I don’t trust you. Don’t do this OP [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:29 PM Flag
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No. Find out policy, only provide documentation if the policy requires it. Continue to do a great job - and for gods sake act like a normal person ! You will look like a weirdo providing documentation nobody wants to see. [ Reply |