< Return to Talk
09.03.19, 21:22 PM General Topics
28 replies
MIL made a comment that really stung (not in front of DH). DD is working on college apps and is a strong student, but her math/science grades and test scores are lower than in her humanities/verbal subjects. DH is a really strong math/science person and MIL made the comment that DD "obviously didn't take after their side of the family" and "must have gotten it from you" [meaning me]. Somehow this really hurt because I'm not good at math/science and it made me feel like I somehow let her down or limited her options. I just laughed and said "Yeah, I guess so..." but I've been thinking about it all weekend. Am I being too sensitive? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 09.03.19, 09:22 PM Flag
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

»
Not the nicest, but if she were a nice person, I assume you would have realized she was just joshing, so I am assuming now that this is not the first dig she's gotten in a dig and it's a pattern. Anyway, if that comment made you feel THAT bad, you have some real self-esteem issues. Consider all the great genetic traits you handed her down! If this bugs you for an entire weekend, it's more your prob than your MIL's [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 09:28 PM Flag
»
Typical MIL comment. Ignore. Verbal skills and aptitude are more important for success in life if her science skills are good enough [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 09:32 PM Flag
»
Absolutely unnecessary comment. Is she always snarky? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 09:32 PM Flag
»
It's unpredictable. She might be nice or she might make some passive aggressive comment that stings. She's always made it clear that she doesn't think I am as smart as DH and "their side" of the family. She makes quasi-pejorative comments about me being "the social one" and whether or not various kids in the family got "the family brains". I don't want to get defensive about it, but DD is very talented in her areas of strength, including winning writing awards and being published in a few small publications--plus high grades and SAT scores in English. She is also more social (like me) and had lots of friends and an active social life (which MIL doesn't place much value on). I just feel like MIL is picking on the thing I'm not good at using it to be hurtful. FWIW, DH was a talented all-around student (HYP) and I have more clear-cut areas of strength and weakness (not math and not HYP). [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 09:47 PM Flag
»
She will die one day, maybe soon. Let it go. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 09:38 PM Flag
»
Perhaps she meant she got her excellent humanities skills from your side of the family? How is this a negative? Also, it's probably true, no? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 09:39 PM Flag
»
She's a dolt. I would have countered with "well, I guess she gets my tact and kindness from my side". [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 09:40 PM Flag
»
OP: Lol. God, I wish I had thought of this in the moment! The perfect reply! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 09:48 PM Flag
»
lol! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 10:11 PM Flag
»
I hope she didn't say that where your kids could hear either. Shut down the info train - your kids' grades and test scores are not any of her business. Also, your MIL is a bitch. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 10:13 PM Flag
»
No, no kids were around and neither was DH (he would have said something and she knows it). [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 10:15 PM Flag
»
Next time call her on that. Say "I know you would not say that in front of Bob so don't say it to me" and walk away. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 10:18 PM Flag
»
THIS or do the old, "Why would you say that, Helen?" thing and just look at her like she is from another planet. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 10:33 PM Flag
»
reading the rest of what you put above, she really REALLY is a bitch. I would limit time around her. Yuck. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 10:34 PM Flag
»
My MIL and SILs do this in front of my 15 year old DS. Oh, what a pity you don’t look like your dad! Your dad is so handsome. You look so much like your mom. He tells them he is just fine with what he sees on the mirror and there is a big sigh and oh you have no idea. My DH just doesn’t deal with this situations well. And it is a nightmare. But I have decided I have had enough. I have taken their crap but no more as far as my child is concerned. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 10:50 PM Flag
»
that is so harmful. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 10:52 PM Flag
»
It is. They also tell me he is way behind other kids they know. FWIW my DC is at Hunter. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 10:54 PM Flag
»
OP: Yikes. And I thought my MIL was bad...but this sounds crazy. If this stuff is being said in front of your DS, I would totally shut it down. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 10:59 PM Flag
»
I am going to. Am meeting them soon and am going in prepped mentally. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 11:00 PM Flag
»
Good luck! I would tell MIL that I find these comments destructive and hurtful. What a whack job! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 11:09 PM Flag
»
WHY are you even around them at all? DROP THEM. Your dh can go sit and listen to their bs if he can't get his shit together. But you and your son don't need to go. Don't bother confronting them - they know what they are doing and they will just keep doing it. Just CUT THEM OFF. This is crazy shit. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 12:25 AM Flag
»
actually none of your children should be there. SHEESH, where is Flip A Table Mom and THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS Mom when we need them? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 12:26 AM Flag
»
Your MIL also sounds crazy but at least she is sparing your DC for the moment. I keep telling some of my friends to kick me in the butt if I ever show signs of being “that MIL”:) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 11:02 PM Flag
»
I know! I don't understand what these MILs are thinking. It impacts the relationship with our whole family. I would never want to be sidelined by my DC because I was an ass to their spouse. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 11:07 PM Flag
»
Your husband is an adult. You should have dropped them all long ago. I can't imagine a dad letting this go but you need to stand up for your kids. You should laugh in his face the next time he asks if you are going to see them. LAUGH IN HIS FACE and say HELL NO. I am so angry that your ds has to deal with this and your dh has Stockholm syndrome or something. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 12:28 AM Flag
»
And you still allow these people to have access to your kids?! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 01:26 AM Flag
»
Yes [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 12:48 AM Flag
»
“At least she knows how to pick her u dearest up off the floor. She got that from my side too.” [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 12:49 AM Flag
Refresh » New Post »
Select Category
close [X]

close [X]

Select a Category (only 1)

category
Stages
Regions