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09.03.19, 19:10 PM General Topics
59 replies
Dear UB, for this school year I am going to be getting a kindergartener off the bus every Tuesday and every other Friday, and keeping her up to 2 hours until her dad can get her after work. He said I can just set her up with a tablet and she's great but I feel like I want to think about doing a cool thing. Would you try and do a simple recipe in the kitchen with her every week? Her dad's a single dad and I'm thinking super basic like cookies or cornbread or muffins. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 09.03.19, 07:10 PM Flag
 

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I would follow her lead and just play with her. Maybe bake sometimes. Do you have toys? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:13 PM Flag
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No more toys. Some kids books. I like the homework idea a lot ... plus I can always have something set up to teach her something in the kitchen if she seems in the mood. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:20 PM Flag
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why no toys? Are you minimalist? get her some small figurines to play. or art supplies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:08 AM Flag
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That sounds great! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:13 PM Flag
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I would get her homework done with her on Tuesdays so he doesn't have to do it after he picks her up, and do a craft or bake another time. Nice idea! Very kind of you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:15 PM Flag
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op. OH WOW this never occurred to me. I am definitely going to do this !!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:17 PM Flag
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I knew you were the right people to ask! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:18 PM Flag
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I meant, do a craft or bake after the homework is done or on Fridays (when they don't give homework to kindys, usually). Kids this age love projects and crafts, so cooking or crafting would be a hit, I'm guessing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:36 PM Flag
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Are you married? If not, go for it. If you are married and this guy is single I'd be a little weirded out about teaching another woman's DD how to bake and so would my DH. Maybe I'm just a little crazy or a jealous wretch but I would not want to become the target of anyone's rage DH or his ex-DW over baking cookies or muffins. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:17 PM Flag
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Weird take. The adults need to act like adults and let the focus be where it belongs, on what's best for the child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:19 PM Flag
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this is not a normal response [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:21 PM Flag
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So okay to look after her? But not do something fun? Weird. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:22 PM Flag
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I'm sorry this sounds weird to you. I've been in very awkward situations where I'm just trying to help a kid out and the parent gets weird. Both DH and I have been in awkward situations like this as he tutors in Math and I tutor in Reading that is why I said maybe I'm just a little crazy. Glad I got validation! OP yes, teach the girl how to bake it will be something she remembers forever! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:28 PM Flag
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If someone is hiring you to tutor and you take it on yourself to expand that role, the parent might be irritated. That's not the same though as what OP is doing (filling the time during babysitting) or what you said which (inexplicably) seemed to tie the marital status of the babysitter to whether she should teach a single dad's daughter how to cook because it might offend the (not mentioned once) non-custodial or possibly dead birth mother? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:35 PM Flag
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We volunteer as tutors and we never go outside that boundary. People are very possessive about who teaches their kid to do what, they just are. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:39 PM Flag
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I have an issue with the idea that it is overstepping for a woman to bake with a girl, but wouldn't be an issue with a boy? Cooking and baking is all about math and chemistry and it is great for all kids. And this isn't shopping for what to wear to prom. It is baking muffins. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:42 PM Flag
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It would be the same with a boy being taught how to cook, clean, do laundry, go fishing, grilling or fix a motorcycle. Some parents are possessive about their kids and don't believe it takes a village. I'm not one of them but I've met parents like this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:53 PM Flag
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this is a BABYSITTER, not the neighborhood witch from Hansel and Gretel! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:41 PM Flag
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Wow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:31 PM Flag
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Do you really think it would be that outrageous considering the MP about the guy who lied about his wife having cancer? I don't. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:34 PM Flag
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I don't conflate the two. Plus, I don't understand the whole "are you married or not thing." She's not raising the kid. So they bake something together, so what. If she'd like, she can ask before hand. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:37 PM Flag
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The little girl will get attached to her is why I asked the question. Cooking is fun and it is something one does to bond with another person and share. To me, it is a lot to take on with a child I don't know and whose mom is not in the picture. As we've seen on UB, situations get awkward around childcare all the time doesn't mean anyone is bad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:45 PM Flag
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That's okay if you feel that way, but honestly, I think you're reading way more into than necessary. Cooking and baking is also a skill set. It's a nice way to learn to understand fractions. I simply don't attach it exclusively to motherly love. I don't think I'm alone in this. It's a babysitting gig. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:53 PM Flag
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I guess it was the fact that she pointed out he is a single dad that threw me into the mindset of crazy. I'm married to a mathematician and I am an avid chef because he can't cook so I totally get her heart is in the right place. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:02 PM Flag
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Yikes, I'm not sure how you could possibly relate these two posts. Are you okay or do you often mix things up and go off the deep end? Is this a change? Are you under extreme stress? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:45 PM Flag
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This made me laugh, no it's the first day of school what could possibly be wrong!! I said above "maybe I'm just a little crazy" as I said, I got validation from UB. I'm a little crazy. Do I get a nickname too? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:56 PM Flag
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First Day of School Overly Paranoid Mom? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:14 PM Flag
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No, first day of eighth grade for my youngest. I was actually telling one of my adult sons about this thread and the is she married thing was the first thing he asked. I told him I got flamed and he pointed out what it would be like if there were a mom in the picture or if the babysitter is married. He is 22 and gay so no dog in the fight. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:07 PM Flag
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I mean that could be your name, not that you just now have a kinder student. I think that you and your ds are products of the subculture that you live in, which is probably why the marital status of the babysitter has zero to do with baking for the rest of us. Do you live in an area where single parents are unusual? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:18 PM Flag
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Also that your dh would care what activities you do with a child you are babysitting and be weirded out, or that your adult son would have the same questions... this is just really really odd. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:39 PM Flag
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Ok, you’ve raised your kid to be as weird as you! How do baking and being married go together? What activities would be acceptable to you in this situation? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:59 PM Flag
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Wow, you sound unhinged, TBH. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:44 PM Flag
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How old are you? How much do you know about actually being married and having children? You sound naive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:09 PM Flag
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NP No, it is crazy that if the sitter is married, anyone would think she SHOULDN'T bake with the kid, but it would be okay if the sitter is unmarried. It is like the 1950s all over again when women would be expected to resign after their wedding. Just crazy pants. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:21 PM Flag
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but probably OP shouldn't wear pants either... you know, if she is a married woman. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:21 PM Flag
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I would do homework or play a game. I might do the baking thing once a month - themed to the season or next holiday. Is he a divorced dad? if so, Just feeling a bit for the ExW in this situation. I know non sequitur. Note: a lot of 5/6 year olds are ravenous at pick up. I would bring a snack. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:38 PM Flag
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op. She's finally only a few feet from me watching Garfield. She doesn't want to sit down. She said she had her after school snack while waiting at school to be picked up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:34 PM Flag
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Just make sure the mess from cooking is cleaned up before he gets home. I'd love it if someone baked with my kids, I just wouldn't want the mess to be on my shoulders when I come home from work! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:43 PM Flag
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Is it all day kindergarten? My kids were kind of fried by the end of the day and tired of holding it together. Don't be surprised or dismayed if she just rants and is generally cranky for a solid hour. Have a snack ready; don't push her to "be" anything (she's been doing that for 8 hours). Just my two cents. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:55 PM Flag
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I agree. An activity at the end of the day is the last thing most kindergartners need, unless it is simply playing in the playground. I also like to point out things during the walk from the bus--kids can learn to identify birds, trees, and flowers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:06 PM Flag
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^^^ Get some good books to read to the child. Strega Nona by Tomie dePaola and books by Philip Stead (A Sick Day for Amos McGee, A Home for Bird, Bear Has a Story to Tell) are great for this age. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:13 PM Flag
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Awww I loved Amos McGee! A very sweet story and wonderful illustrations. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:43 PM Flag
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op. Sorry I am back - we had a bit of an emergency. She was supposed to get off the bus but the school messed up and she stayed after for pick-up. So I had to high-tail it over to the school to grab her. Emergency #2 I had no booster seat ... but we just buckled up and crossed fingers. I told her she was going to pretend to be a big girl. It's about a ten minute drive - we're home now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:24 PM Flag
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She was great on the ride home - but suddenly coming home she balked and didn't want to come in and started crying for her Dad. Right now we're halfway, I've got her favorite Garfield show on, and she's in the doorway of the living room watching it. She's keeping her backpack on and she's still holding her water bottle. Whoops! She just got closer. In another few steps she may even be on the couch. I think we need one day of her realizing her dad will definitely come get her. No homework yet! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:28 PM Flag
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PS also I am 55 and dad is 24 and my son's best friend ... no creepies [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:32 PM Flag
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PPS She's finally on the couch, now I can get up and go do dishes, lol. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:39 PM Flag
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first two weeks of K are a big and tiring transition. good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 08:54 PM Flag
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I think we'll be good. By the end she was just chattering away, and her dad got her right at 5:15. I definitely had to pull out an old skill set for the hour though. You forget what they're like at certain ages. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:27 PM Flag
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I think you'll end up being good friends. You will enjoy this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:48 PM Flag
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Ha, ha! I'm the poster from above that got flamed for speculating the OP teaching someone else's DD to bake would be awkward. So glad you gave us the update, I'm close to your age and I saw red flags for a young woman in the situation described. This will be so much fun, and yes baking is better than Garfield at some point. She will love you forever which is of course what my adult son said too! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:22 PM Flag
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So, it’s not a marital status thing, it’s an age thing, now. Seriously, you sound insane. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:00 PM Flag
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Thanks for the d/x mine is simpler, you sound single or divorced. Clearly if you are in a relationship you don't understand even half of what the other person might be thinking. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:54 PM Flag
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“Red flags’. Omg, you are so weird. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:03 PM Flag
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Are you the poster where the best friend lives in your guest house? It will all be fine and you are close family friends. You can bake with her (although she may be too tired). You are a lovely person. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:23 PM Flag
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op. It's me. After I picked her up at the local elementary school (she was the last one picked up today) I told her a story going home about how my dad moved to take a new job when I was 5. He took me with him to the east coast from Kentucky since he needed to start his job, and I was oldest so could start school. My mom and my younger baby siblings stayed behind to sell the house and pack up. My dad found a room to rent from an older man who had a huge house. The first day of school I got off the bus at a different stop from the older guy's house and I was "missing" for a while because I got off at a stop where there was no one in residence, no one knew who my dad was, and I couldn't remember where I lived or the name of the man whose home we were staying in. It was well before Amber-alert but i was a missing kid for about 24 hours in NYS [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:28 PM Flag
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Wow, that must have been so scary for you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:36 PM Flag
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WOW! That is a story! Your dad must have been so scared. And you must have been so scared too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:41 AM Flag
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Whatever you want. Mine would want to shoot hoops, or ride a bike. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:41 PM Flag
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NO SCREENS. I would buy some craft stuff. Crayons, Markers, Paper, stickers, etc. Let her entertain herself screen-free. Listen to Top 40 radio, have dance parties. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:07 AM Flag
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