• Filter the conversation
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] What, if anything, did you recently buy for Fall? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:11 PM Flag
»
Clothes for DD, gloves for all of us, new mattress (but that wasn’t really fall related). [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:14 PM Flag
»
Nothing yet. Was looking at some boots the other day. Will have to order some fall stuff for DS pretty soon. I think it is still going to be warm for another month so I'm not in a rush. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:25 PM Flag
»
Nothing clothes-wise. I'm always late to the party. Bought a bunch of materials for a project due at the end of October, if that counts. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:28 PM Flag
»
Nothing yet. Got an awesome wool coat from my local "everything is free" Facebook group. Need teen dcs to pick out new coats, I would like some new boots. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:34 PM Flag
»
Nothing. I start buying kids clothes when the weather changes- end of sept. For me, I buy nothing since I do rent the runway [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:40 PM Flag
»
A bunch of clothes for ds, a jacket and a vest for me. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:45 PM Flag
»
A jacket, two pairs of pants, some crocodile pumps. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:50 PM Flag
»
A pumpkin spice latte [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 09:58 PM Flag
»
teenage dd bought some clothes partially cause she's grown a bit and also was short on sweaters in general. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 11:49 PM Flag
[ - ] Are there any basketball leagues in nyc that start at 6? Not a class, looking to join a team. Thanks ! 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:56 PM Flag
»
maybe yorkville? fastbreak? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 03:24 PM Flag
»
oh, and try big apple too? but these might all start at age 8 [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 03:24 PM Flag
»
look at basketball city although it might start at 7. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 11:49 PM Flag
[ - ] Who's right? Bought a new wedge of Parmesan cheese; used it last night; went to wrap it tightly in plastic wrap before putting in the fridge. DH said it's fine in a tupperware container (no plastic wrap). I thought the idea was to keep the cheese from being exposed to air. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:56 PM Flag
»
I always heard that cheese should be allowed to breath a little. Ideal for parmesan is to wrap first in in parchment and then in a ziplock bag. Airtight container would work too. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:04 PM Flag
»
Ah ok. Thank you. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:09 PM Flag
»
np. I think this is correct. Enough air not to let moisture turn into mold, but not so much air that the cheese hardens. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:10 PM Flag
»
I use waxed paper, I avoid using plastic directly on cheese [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:21 PM Flag
»
Agree. I find that the cheese will take on odor and taste of the plastic wrap and even the Tupperware (think dishwasher soap scent). Maybe I’m just super sensitive. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:33 PM Flag
»
it dries out in tupperware, imo. doesnt matter tho. do it his way and when it dries out too much, he'll see. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:36 PM Flag
»
OP here. That's the thing -- when it dries out, it has zero flavor. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:47 PM Flag
»
men hate being told they are wrong. let him do it his way, in a couple of weeks,let him reach for the dried out cheese and realize he was wrong. Then, he'll change. its annoying, but do it. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 11:02 PM Flag
[ - ] Shipping clothes via USPS. Should I just pack them in a box or is it better to use a USPS box? It’s 14 lbs and I am using an amazon box. Thx 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:32 PM Flag
»
Post office will require you to cover any company identification on it. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:32 PM Flag
»
Op: if I use usps box doi need to buy it or is it included in the shipping? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:35 PM Flag
»
You need to buy it. USPS has a website. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:37 PM Flag
»
USPS specific boxes are free. They have fixed fee ones. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:37 PM Flag
»
That may be the official rule, but my family sends me stuff all the time in boxes with company logos slapped all over them and they get to me just fine. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:40 PM Flag
»
Well, good luck OP, when you go to the post office, because depending on the person at the window, they may have you alter the box. I know I had to. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:41 PM Flag
»
So true. Totally depends on the person. My mom used to fill up the fixed fee boxes and it was so heavy but still like $14.99. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:46 PM Flag
»
I have also been reprimanded at the window for using an amazon box. You can wrap it in brown paper. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:56 PM Flag
»
Op: so I take the clothes in a bag to the usps store. Then I have to take tape as well.ugh! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:10 PM Flag
»
You can use an Amazon box. I've done it a lot. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 03:53 PM Flag
»
I would do reverse and go back to usps even tho it’s annoying [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 03:56 PM Flag
[ - ] Do you feel sorry for people (past 40) who don’t have kids? Does it matter if it was their choice? 69 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:30 PM Flag
»
Good god, no. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:31 PM Flag
»
+1000000 [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 03:08 PM Flag
»
x am million [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 01:09 AM Flag
»
Definitely not. Hasn’t anyone read the article about single unmarried women being the happiest? https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7071125/amp/Men-married-improve-wellbeing-expert-says.html [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 02:06 AM Flag
»
Not surprised [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 08:08 AM Flag
»
Nope. They’re in some ways smart!! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:37 PM Flag
»
Yes . . . most people I know who didn't have kids past 40 did want them. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:47 PM Flag
»
I feel worse for people who have kids and never wanted them. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:52 PM Flag
»
+1 Three friends - two women and one man - have told me that they love their kids, but if they could go back and do it over, they wouldn't have children. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:57 PM Flag
»
Do you think there is a common theme among them? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 05:03 PM Flag
»
Yes. They have lived through all of the stress and hard work, and see all of the opportunities they have had to give up, and they don't find parenting worth it. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 08:04 PM Flag
»
Ah - I think the sad truth is that we don’t have a society that supports parents. I was just in France and was taken aback by how involved both parents were with their kids. I guess it’s easier to have patience and be present when you have six weeks of vacation and a year of maternity leave. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 10:38 PM Flag
»
Interesting. Also, French people are not martyrs about work and I'd guess that people aren't as stressed about money. Everything in the US is high-stakes and there's a limited safety net. People are generally tense here. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 01:04 AM Flag
»
Oh, the French are so superior.... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 01:34 AM Flag
»
you sound English [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 03:38 AM Flag
»
Or some people just don't enjoy parenting, and we don't have a society that accepts that as normal. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 01:55 PM Flag
»
Not really. A lot of things aren't in the cards for people, wanted or not. My dcs bring me so much joy and I have friends who didn't have kids for many reasons (infertility, choice, etc.) There are some who I think would have been great moms, but no I don't feel sorry for them. I feel sorry for myself that my phenomenal parents died as young as they did. I really miss them and envy my friends (who have good relationships with their parents) who still have theirs. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:54 PM Flag
»
I am in same boat and I envy my friends who have parents too. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:13 PM Flag
»
Over 40 and childfree. Don't waste your time feeling sorry for me. I'm sure your kids could use that energy. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:56 PM Flag
»
Who said I have kids? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:00 PM Flag
»
Why are you on urban baby then? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 06:38 PM Flag
»
Because it's hilarious. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 08:04 PM Flag
»
+1 A bunch of us share screenshots of UB crazy, once every month or two. Good comedy! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 01:56 PM Flag
»
Why are you? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 08:18 PM Flag
»
I envy them a lot!! (if it was their choice) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:12 PM Flag
»
DH and I don't have children by choice. We were just saying last night how much we both are so happy with the choices we've made. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:21 PM Flag
»
Do you think you’ll feel the same way at 75? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:30 PM Flag
»
I've felt the same way for almost 50 years. I think so, and if I don't I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Do you have a particular reason to ask about 75? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:38 PM Flag
»
IL’s friends came over their house for dinner over the weekend. The wife drank a little too much and got kind of weepy over not having kids/grandkids. They do enjoy once-in-a-lifetime trips (for everyone else) at least twice a year. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:42 PM Flag
»
Ah. I wonder if she wanted them but could not for whatever reason. It was a different time, going both ways. If you wanted but could not have them, medicine to help would not be as advanced and if you did not want them, birth control and financial opportunities were not there. We're lucky we live in a time with choices for people with either desire. One of the things I read when I was on the fence but worried about future regret was happiness (in this regard) is connected to an outcome consistent with what you wanted. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:49 PM Flag
»
I think people overestimate how much many elderly people see their adult children. DHs parents are in their 70s and we see them once or twice a quarter. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 05:06 PM Flag
»
Well-meaning question here: Why are you on a site called Urban Baby? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 04:26 PM Flag
»
I got sucked in when I was on the fence. I'd give a more nuanced answer, but heading out to pal around with DH. We're extending the weekend [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 05:26 PM Flag
»
Not all all. It's very hard to put myself in someone else's shoes. Maybe people without kids feel sorry for me! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:26 PM Flag
»
This never crosses my mind. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:27 PM Flag
»
It depends. My kids have enriched myself so much that I sometimes feel badly that other people I love (like my sisters) aren't going to experience parenthood. Other times, I'm jealous of their freedom. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:29 PM Flag
»
enriched my life [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:29 PM Flag
»
np - I agree. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:30 PM Flag
»
Best answer [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:36 PM Flag
»
+3, my sister doesn't get a lot of things about having kids. On the other hand she and her DH have an amazing relationship and are really happy. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 01:11 AM Flag
»
Same for my sister [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 08:06 AM Flag
»
No, I don't feel sorry for them at all. I might, however, have the thought that I'm glad *I* have kids. To each their own. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:41 PM Flag
»
Feel sorry? No. Envy? Maybe a little ;-) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 03:09 PM Flag
»
Hell, no. They often have better relationships with each other. Kids do a number on interpersonal relationships! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 03:10 PM Flag
»
I feel compassion for people who are over 40 who very much wanted kids but didn't get them if they are sad about it. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 06:40 PM Flag
»
If they chose not to, no. If I know they wish they had children, yes. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 06:44 PM Flag
»
Yes. Even when it is their choice. I worry for them in old age. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 07:00 PM Flag
»
40% of old people in care never get any visitors at all, whether they have kids or not. It's insane to think that having kids will mean you are looked after in your old age, [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 09:53 PM Flag
»
I don't think it is any guarantee but obviously it increases your odds drastically. It also gives you something to look forward to. You see your children grow and start families of their own. When you are childless, you pretty much just watch your peers die off. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 01:34 AM Flag
»
THIS [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 04:12 AM Flag
»
Not sorry, but I do think they are missing out on one of life’s most profound experiences. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 07:52 PM Flag
»
True [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 04:12 AM Flag
»
Not in the least. I feel sorry for the kids of people who felt that they "should" have kids cause everyone else was. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 08:14 PM Flag
»
Given a do over, I'd never have kids. Each has learning disabilities and because of them emotional issues. The milestones that other parents enjoyed, we never have. One has sensory issues and couldn't take loud noises, so no team sports, festivals, et al for us. The other has dyslexia and has taken thousands of dollars of additional support, special education classes and soon a very expensive special ed college. They have consumed our lives. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 08:16 PM Flag
»
Same here, which college? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 02:03 AM Flag
»
Beacon in Leesburg, FL (the least hurricane prone of all of Florida) or Landmark on the East Coast. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 12:43 PM Flag
»
I'm very sorry [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 04:13 AM Flag
»
Same here [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 08:02 AM Flag
»
Have you considered donating DNA to an organization that is working to identify contributing factors of learning disabilities and other difficulties? Maybe a university study in your region? Since both of your children have disabilities, there is a possibility of a genetic component, and your, your husband's, and their DNA could hold valuable information. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 01:59 PM Flag
»
This is very honest of you. I hope it gets easier. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 04:36 PM Flag
»
I don’t have my kid until 42. Didn’t realize all these people were feeling sorry for me! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 09:28 PM Flag
»
This. 2 of my friends had their first kids after 40. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 03:08 PM Flag
»
No! Everyone I know who doesn't have kids seems to have a full and satisfying life. I guess I never know if it was "choice" or not, but what difference does it make??? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 09:48 PM Flag
»
If they are a couple, the relationship can strain because without the big project of parenthood, its not easy bringing newness into a relationship throughout decades. That being said, kids can kill a couple, and often do. It depends on the people involved of course. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 11:06 PM Flag
»
I do. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 11:51 PM Flag
»
If they wanted them and could not have them, yes. But I know many, many people who chose not to and are perfectly happy with their lives. I don't feel bad for them. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 01:00 AM Flag
»
I was childless until 40. Now at age 50+, and as s single person I feel fortunate to have children. This is a personal opinion, though. I don't feel sorry for childless women, though. One of my best friends is childless and single. We both have good lives. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 01:05 AM Flag
»
I'm always wary of posts like this. The premise seems to be that people have a defect and the reaction or non-reaction is to that alleged "defect." [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 01:12 PM Flag
»
You have to have major stamina to have a family these days or low standards. If you don't have either, you will be happier childless. I feel sorry for those who want to have kids but cannot though. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 03:14 PM Flag
[ - ] To all the parents of kids who are Seniors applying to college. It's a rough year, especially for those kids who do not get into their ED in December when others do. Advise your kid to shoot high, but know if your kid is like most students with an A- or Bplus average and not an athlete or rich, manage your expectations. I just finished doing this process three times. All three did not get into their top choice but are ultimately happy. Good Luck! 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.03.19, 12:40 PM Flag
»
I think it's hard to accept what anyone tells you until you've actually gone through it. And then you'll tell the parents who come after you and they won't listen to you, either. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 12:45 PM Flag
»
So true. I did not listen either. So convinced that the schools would see something special in my kids, like they were President of the student body, or had amazing recos that would outweigh their GPA [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 12:48 PM Flag
»
Same here. Look at it this way - that's your job! you are supposed to be your kid's biggest fan. If not you, who? But yeah college applications are a huge injection of reality that most people don't drop everything when they get your Christmas cards, lol. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:13 PM Flag
»
How dare you [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:23 PM Flag
»
sorry I meant my Christmas cards, not necessarily yours. My cards were always shit anyway. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:29 PM Flag
»
Ok then lol [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:30 PM Flag
»
Older mom of two kids, now in their 20s. You are totally right. It's the rare parent who will aim lower than they think they should, and whose kid will listen to them. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:57 PM Flag
»
I wish I had been more chill. I remember the front HS office almost calming me down (there was a late payment for a subject test) and telling me, "everyone lands where they're supposed to land." At the time I thought, easy for you to say, you don't have a senior, but later on I realized she was right and that she was probably just benignly tolerating me. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:26 PM Flag
»
I always hated that expression. Same with "everything works out for the best". It doesn't always. And I think most people tell themselves it worked out for the best simply to avoid having painful regrets. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:53 PM Flag
»
I agree with this. The universe conspires in your favor and you end up in the college setting you are supposed to be in. Do mistakes happen sometimes? Yes - then you xfer. But for the most part put your best self forward let go and enjoy what’s left of us. It is out of your control. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 05:36 PM Flag
»
^Left of HS not us [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 05:36 PM Flag
»
College season adjusts nearly everyone's attitude. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:27 PM Flag
»
Wtf is college season? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 05:37 PM Flag
»
As someone who also went through it this year, I would caution not to shoot too high in the ED round and think about fit and what you can bring in to the school. It is really your best shot and if you don't pick the right match and reach too high your odds in the regular round for your other top choices are much lower if you don't have a strong hook and are one of the many A-/excellent scores white or Asian UMC kid. My DS overshot the ED and ended up with sea of waitlists and rejections from the reach schools. So the whole thing turned into a nail biter well into the summer, when we got the call offering him a spot off the waitlist at his second choice school, the school that by all accounts he should have ED to begin with. He is thrilled but the process was 6 months longer than it needed to be. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:38 PM Flag
»
Thanks for sharing. I’m dreading this process and want to move to middle of nowhere. I need to stay realistic!! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:41 PM Flag
»
The other thing that is messed up is that schools that would once have accepted kids right away now put them on waitlists because they can't manage their acceptances. Everyone over applies so kids get into schools they are using as back ups and the schools can't tell if they should accept them or not, so the schools use waitlists as a tool to manage the situation. And it's a vicious cycle. The more uncertainty, the more schools kids apply to which increases the uncertainty. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 04:42 PM Flag
»
Well the other thing we noticed was that quite a few of his friends also ended up getting into schools off the WL, which was something the school did not really believe would happen. So if your favorite waitlists you make sure to really work it. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 07:23 PM Flag
»
Oh please. It worked out BRILLIANTLY for you yet here you are talking about how bad it is [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 05:38 PM Flag
»
I am just sharing what we learned in the process, not at all unhappy with how it turned out, I did say DS is thrilled! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 07:21 PM Flag
»
Thanks. DC has amazing grades, and a pretty good, but not tippy top SAT score. Will ED first choice school, but have managed dc's expectations and toured all the target/safety schools and dc would be ok with those as well. I think having experienced the NYC public school process has helped with this. We have always had to manage expectations, not fall in love with one school, think about ranking a school first, etc. GL to everyone! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:46 PM Flag
»
Ditto. Have a reasonable list and never fall in love with one. You will be fine [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 05:39 PM Flag
»
If you feel like sharing, OP, what were their stats, their top choice, and where did they end up? I'm glad they are all happy! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:58 PM Flag
»
Temper your expectations. There will be a record number of kids applying and there has been a lot of grade and score inflation over the past 5 years. What looks like 75th %tile doesn't mean much as ECs, recs and essay are more important. Hooked kids take up a large percentage of spots, so there are few for the ones who are just academically motivated. Apply widely so your child has some choice and if you ED, pick something suitable and not a long shot. Waitlists abound as colleges play admissions games. Dc had high stats (1570 SAT, 99.5 GPA and normal but not impressive ECs) and got rejected or waitlisted from all reaches and half of matches. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:57 PM Flag
»
See, in your case I wonder what the reaches were. Because if you don't have really great ECs and a hook, most traditional reaches are out of the question. But I'm sure your dc is at a school that would consider wonderful. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 04:33 PM Flag
»
np. What is a traditional reach? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 04:40 PM Flag
»
Nnp all ivy. Stanford mit (some day all too 20) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 05:41 PM Flag
»
Reaches were Yale(WL),Penn, Brown(legacy). Got into #1 match, rejected at #2 (which is lower on USNWR and lower standards), WL at #3 and 4, accepted at #5 and 6. Lucky to get into first match. In hindsight, should have applied to more matches. Dc rejected a bunch due to location, frattiness and size, but if they hadn't gotten into the school they did, it would have been nice to have more choice. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 06:46 PM Flag
»
I agree with this [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 09:57 PM Flag
»
I can’t find matches. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 09:49 PM Flag
[ - ] In case anyone is still up, is it normal to take DCs to their first day of 9th grade at a NYC private? I was going to let her go alone, but DH thinks I should go with her for moral support. She said she's fine either way, but I wonder if she's just trying to be strong, despite saying she's nervous. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.03.19, 05:00 AM Flag
»
I would go with her but don’t go in the building with her. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 05:15 AM Flag
»
Thank you! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 05:57 AM Flag
»
Is there a program for families? If not, I would just let her go on her own. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 07:41 AM Flag
»
In 9th grade? That would be a little creepy [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 04:33 PM Flag
»
^^I meant, a program for families. Too weird for a 9th grader [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 04:34 PM Flag
»
Hope she has a great day! The first day is the hardest, it will get easier after this. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 11:53 AM Flag
»
Thank you! She did! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 03:13 AM Flag
»
DD is going into 8th and always either walks or takes the bus. It's a tradition for us, though, for me to walk her to school on the first day. I don't know if that's normal, but we do it anyway. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 12:02 PM Flag
»
Take her, but drop her on the corner. Use the time to boost her ego with your love. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 12:20 PM Flag
»
I always take my dc on their first day. Just drop at the corner and walk on. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:14 PM Flag
»
Ha. DC is going to HSAS, so it's in the Bronx. No dropping off in our world! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 04:35 PM Flag
»
I did take her, gave her a kiss on the corner, and left. It was the right decision, thank you all. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.04.19, 03:12 AM Flag
[ - ] DH suddenly way into guns. For about a year. Shooting at the range, buying a new handgun every six months. He's very safety conscious - trainings, gun locker, etc. But it's freaking me out. 29 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.03.19, 04:02 AM Flag
»
It's a hobby. I don't get it. Especially handguns. I grew up shooting BBs at coke cans, but handguns? ugh. Sorry, OP. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 04:23 AM Flag
»
I think most men go through at least one phase of their lives where they think about guns (if they didn't already grow up with them). My son and DH went through this phase, then they realized the whole process was a complete PITA with weekends and classes and references and fingerprint/record checks ... they just said "eh forget it" and never went to the trouble. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 12:38 PM Flag
»
I prefer the phase of rebuilding a classic car. I don't like the phase of having the big toys like jet ski and motorcycle, etc. I don't have to worry about dh getting in to guns - dh isn't going to do that, but the classic car thing is a big possibility. I am okay with that. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 04:03 PM Flag
»
This would absolutely upset me and freak me out, but I'm not American, and I didn't grow up thinking guns were a normal thing around the house. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 07:31 AM Flag
»
Same. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 10:39 AM Flag
»
I would say that most Americans don't think it's normal. Don't mistake the rhetoric of the NRA, protecting gun makers profits. I grew up in a community where some hunted, those people didn't have guns. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 12:15 PM Flag
»
Most Americans do not think guns are a normal thing around the house, please check your attitude and arrogance [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 12:17 PM Flag
»
Are you always this cheerful? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 12:51 PM Flag
»
It’s probably regional. In NH, where I live, if newcomers complain of guns being shot close to their house, they’re told to go back where they came from on the local FB page. My neighbor warned me not to walk my dog down the road at night and told me he’d keep his gun ready. It’s not suburban exactly, but not really rural in my eyes either. I’d bet NH gun ownership is pretty high. In many cities, I’m guessing gun ownership is high as well, depending on where you are in the city. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:06 PM Flag
»
+3. Does he have new friends from the gun range? I would be very wary. Fertile ground for recruitment [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 11:30 AM Flag
»
It's a substitute power symbol as he ages and loses social, career, muscle, and penis power. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 12:15 PM Flag
»
+1 very expensive paperweights for the most part [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 12:37 PM Flag
»
We recently bought a country house and a black bear grabbed our garbage can this weekend. We got it all on video. Now dh is saying he wants to get a gun, because what if a bear is attacking dc? He grew up with guns and it’s kind of a good point about dc but I don’t like the idea. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 12:48 PM Flag
»
Black bears rarely attack, and in the very slim chance that they would, your DH better be a good shot. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:04 PM Flag
»
I would think bear spray would be safer and more effective? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:12 PM Flag
»
Not as good of a gun troll, though. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:17 PM Flag
»
Pretty boring for a troll post but ok... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:21 PM Flag
»
Grew up in Pike County PA black bears aren't going to attack your kid. If you have concerns, bring your garbage inside. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:15 PM Flag
»
We’re in Monroe County! We did bring our garbage inside for the rest of the weekend and are looking to buy a shed. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:20 PM Flag
»
DH may be telling you he is buying guns to protect from bears but his real motive is to protect from Ghetto Pople coming to suburbs to kill. Remember the ghetto people that came to Short Hills mall to kill? What about the getto people that came and raped and torturd to death the suburban couple? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:04 PM Flag
»
NP.. I did not see that... Where did it happen? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:05 PM Flag
»
https://www.wbir.com/article/news/crime/eric-boyd-now-charged-with-murder-of-channon-christian-chris-newsom/51-534963183 [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:06 PM Flag
»
NP, yeah sure! Nice long game there, Boris. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:29 PM Flag
»
NNP: yep. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:35 PM Flag
»
Hmmm, I was born and raised in the ghetto, and my parents still live there and stayed with us this weekend. Maybe they’re trying to kill us!!! We should totally get a gun and kill them first. Good thinking. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:35 PM Flag
»
Bear spray! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 05:43 PM Flag
»
Did he grow up in a gun culture? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:31 PM Flag
»
Op: no, he's a liberal jew from Long Island! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 03:57 PM Flag
»
I'm a die hard Lefty McLefterson liberal who grew up in a gun culture town. In the absence of any other information, this does not bother me. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 03:45 PM Flag
[ - ] Hotel recs needed for downtown Manhattan. Out of towners at an east village event. Not fancy 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.03.19, 03:47 AM Flag
»
the standard east is often reasonable [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 05:14 AM Flag
»
The pod [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 11:13 AM Flag
»
Marriott downtown is fine [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 12:30 PM Flag
»
If they don’t care, just use Hotwire [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:11 PM Flag
[ - ] why tf is my neck already sagging at age 41? and what can i do about it? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.03.19, 03:39 AM Flag
»
Get a life. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 06:08 AM Flag
»
np- why is that get a life? a woman can't be concerned with her appearance? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 12:31 PM Flag
»
Aging is inevitable and irreversible. We all have far more important things to worry about. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 03:10 PM Flag
»
You need to live in zero gravity, in space. Off you go. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 07:32 AM Flag
»
youtube face exercises and work out [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 12:16 PM Flag
»
Do you take care of your neck the same way you take care of your face? Most people don't, and they end up with 40+ years of aging on their necks. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 12:17 PM Flag
»
Surgery or learn to live with it, sorry [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:31 PM Flag
[ - ] Dh and I had huge argument because he wants me to say that his family does so much for us but I refuse to say that because it’s inaccurate. I personally don’t care but I’m also not going to make an inaccurate statement. He says this because we’re celebrating our 15 year anniversary and his sister is taking pictures of us. I’m also paying for her makeup and hair as a thank you. Thought? I refuse to budge on this one. I’m livid that he acts so protective over his family that does nothing for him. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:50 AM Flag
»
A statement to whom and for what purpose? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 03:13 AM Flag
»
You can be happy or you can be right but you can't be both. Your choice. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 03:15 AM Flag
»
I know exactly what you mean re: SIL. The answer to happiness is medium chill, expect little and go with the flow. Treat yourself well and ignorance is bliss. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 03:22 AM Flag
»
What do they have to do for him? They’re his family, he loves them. It’s not a transaction. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:08 PM Flag
»
Unless there’s more to this story it seems like a silly thing to argue about. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:32 PM Flag
»
What exactly does he say they do for you? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 03:46 PM Flag
»
Your SIL is doing you a favor. You can give him that concession. "Yes, I really appreciate your sister doing this for us." Would that kill you? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 05:53 PM Flag
[ - ] A recruiter from a major company has blown me out for an interview twice. Twice I have arranged childcare and once she cancelled 15 mins before and once she didn't even bother to cancel just emailed 4 days later. Now she wants to find another time to speak and I kind of want to tell her to f herself but also actually do need a job and the job i'm talking to her about is good. I need to just suck it up right? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:39 AM Flag
»
No sounds like a flake. Look for another recruiter. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:51 AM Flag
»
it's in house recruiter for this company [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:56 AM Flag
»
Only if she is indeed in house. Otherwise it is a spec recruiter [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 03:04 AM Flag
»
she is in house! but it's so rude that i will need to spend the next 12 hours working on packing my self respect into a teeny tiny box before I respond 'sure!' and set a new time. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 03:13 AM Flag
»
Don't do that. She will flake on you once more. Enough is enough. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 06:10 AM Flag
»
Don't do it [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:14 PM Flag
»
I’m going to go against the popular opinion here and suggest you try to suck it up one more time. It totally sucks but you need a job and if other candidates drop out because of this nonsense, perhaps you will be the survivor. The power dynamics of being a job applicant are very uneven and that sucks but it’s a reality. Can you do a childcare swap with another mom so that you don’t have to pay a babysitter? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:53 PM Flag
»
^ pp: I do want to add, if you make it to the next level and the hiring manager pulls the same shit, you should run. The recruiter might just be disorganized, but if the hiring manager does this too then you know the company is a mess. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:54 PM Flag
»
agree with this. you need a job. also, they are a recruiter. They may have other opportunities. Once you get the gig, the recruiter is gone from your life. i'd suck i t up, even though its insane. And like the responder above said, others will drop from the process if this recruiter is a PITA, which gives you a leg up [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:40 PM Flag
[ - ] So we just moved into a new place that has dark hardwood floors (they are old and thin, so maybe those engineered wood floors). Well my dh dragged a 50lb television across the dining room floor to the hallway leaving a scratch that looks like a trail. Besides being livid! Any suggestions about what can help get it out or minimize it short of refinishing or putting in new floors. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:13 AM Flag
»
There are wax "crayon" like sticks to fill in gouges on wood--they come in many colors. It may help. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:20 AM Flag
»
These don’t last. Waste of money. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:23 AM Flag
»
Then floor stain to match the color of the wood. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:33 AM Flag
»
Yes btdt. I had newly refinished dark wood floors and immediately scratched them. My floor guy told me to buy a small can of minwax wood stain in the matching color. Apply it with a rag to the scratch and let it sit for a bit, maybe 30 minutes, but wipe off any stain from the non scratched area immediately. After letting it sit, wipe it off with a clean rag. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:23 AM Flag
»
Thanks [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:30 AM Flag
[ - ] I am trying to raise good kids (13 & 16) who have a strong work ethic, are reasonably equipped for independence, and aren't entitled. It is exhausting. I can't seem to find my old fun self. Everything that comes out of my mouth is either a directive, a reprimand, a lesson, or a question. It is super annoying. Will it return when the kids go to college? How can I lighten up? 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:58 AM Flag
»
Its a hard job [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:04 AM Flag
»
Can you find a way to make it more fun? Your intentions are good, but what is your delivery? Do you set your kids up to be independent? And then let them suffer the natural consequences of their choices/actions? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:08 AM Flag
»
When I get like this I know I need a break. Take some time for YOU to reset. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:11 AM Flag
»
Carve out time for yourself! Even if it's just a mani-pedi or a massage. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:15 AM Flag
»
Their life with you should not be a stream of directives, reprimands and lessons. Lighten up. Trust that you taught them well. Take some time to just enjoy who they are. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:21 AM Flag
»
OP is asking HOW to lighten up. Any advice? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:23 AM Flag
»
I agree with the others who say you need to take time for yourself but also, is there ever time for you to just have fun with your kids? Like when you don't have to be "on" and can just enjoy each other? When my dd was a teen we had some things we did together (nothing special, just stuff like watching reality shows and baking) when we could just laugh and talk. Helped a lot. But maybe was easier with just one. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:25 AM Flag
»
This is wonderful advice [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:30 AM Flag
»
Ugh. My friend was like this with her kids and she was insufferable to be around. Lead by example. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:35 AM Flag
»
You sound nice [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:49 AM Flag
»
i feel EXACTLY the same and i have a 3 and 6 yo. The whole 'model good behavior' and 'teach them to make good choices' yadda yadda you turn into someone you don't recognize and mine are comparatively tiny. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:41 AM Flag
»
80/20 rule [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:45 AM Flag
»
Explain? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:51 AM Flag
»
80 percent of the results will come from about 20% of the things you do. Figure out what the big rocks are and lighten up on the rest. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 03:33 AM Flag
»
If you want your kids to be independent, back off as much as you can. Let them figure things out on their own. let them make their own mistakes and learn from that. everything shouldn't be a lesson. just live your life [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:54 PM Flag
»
Older mom here. I was the bitch; ex-DH was the "fun" parent who let them go out on a school night (after I'd said no because I knew they had exams the next day). You are not their friend. You have to toe the line and be a bitch. Now, that both have graduated college, gotten jobs, have their own apartment, I can loosen up a little with them. But they're 23 and 26. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:00 PM Flag
[ - ] What will popular/ funny adult costumes be this year? I’m always envious of the people who have topically current costumes rather than the tried and true. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:36 AM Flag
»
Be topically current and think of your own costume ideas. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 12:21 PM Flag
»
Listicle poster is back. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 12:21 PM Flag
»
Dress up as a redundancy. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 12:46 PM Flag
»
Mayor Pete, Miley and Kaitlyn [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 12:54 PM Flag
»
I am going as ASMR [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:21 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone have an acupressure mat? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:31 AM Flag
»
No but I want one! What brand are you looking at? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:34 AM Flag
[ - ] Any mouth-breathers on? I see a gizmo on Shark Tank that addressed bathing through the mouth at night and realize that I do this. But when I close my mouth and try to breathe through my nose, I feel like my chest will explode. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:07 AM Flag
»
You’ll get used to it. Start with breathe right strips. It’s so much better for you to breathe through your nose. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:21 AM Flag
»
OP: I have been googling and I see that it is. I have always felt like I have chronic bad breath even though there isn't really any other cause I can identify. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:44 AM Flag
»
Try afrin but don’t get addicted. See an ENT maybe your nasal passages are blocked. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 04:42 AM Flag
»
You may have nasal polyps blocking your nasal passages. Afrin can shrink them. So can steroid nasal spray (Flonase otc) . Otherwise talk to your dr [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:21 AM Flag
[ - ] People on here post about narcissist mothers. Do you think anyone knows that they, themselves, are a narcissist? 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:05 AM Flag
»
No. In the same way that deluded people don't know they're delusional I posted in the MP life-changing books thread about "Trapped in the Mirror." I usually run the other way from the self-help genre but that book really hit me. A similar--and more classic--book is Alice Miller's "Drama of the Gifted Child." If you think you have/had a narcissistic parent, either one could be enlightening [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:15 AM Flag
»
It was your post that made me wonder, what if I am a narcissist? I'm pretty sure I'm not, but how would I know? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:23 PM Flag
»
No way. People who are narcissists think they're victims. All. The. Time. They're easily insulted and have a very poor defense system. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:09 AM Flag
»
This! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:25 AM Flag
»
Correct. They have a disorder. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:36 AM Flag
»
This. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 03:45 AM Flag
»
I often recognize situations where i am making it about me. but i've also noticed that some mothers (like me) with help and support far away are kind of just trying to survive and sometimes that feels like being a narcissist. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:43 AM Flag
»
Nope. Stbx was raised by a mother who is a full-blown narcissist.Pretty sure she is the only one that doesn't know it and she is a therapist. I'm not sure whether it was totally subconscious, unwillingly or even necessary for her own self-protection as a child but otherwise amaing and incredible stbxw picked up many of the traits. I sometimes think she has moments of clarity but they are then overcome by her narcissistic personality traits she refuses refuses to entertain acknowledging. It is so sad bc I know it isn't her fault. But it is what it and we just have to learn to live with it. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 03:31 AM Flag
»
I have begged her to get help. Offered to do with her side by side since she thinks I'm the one that needs help, but she refuses entertain the thought that there could possibly be anything wrong with her. Just everyone else. It is devastating. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 03:48 AM Flag
»
What is stbx? (Sorry) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 03:49 AM Flag
»
Soon to be ex. Separated going on 6 months. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 03:51 AM Flag
»
And wish I had her back every single day but know I need to realize the woman I loved never really existed. It was just one of her masks. And unless she realizes she needs help, which isn't going to happen, there is literally nothing I can do, except pray to move on. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 03:56 AM Flag
»
At what point in your relationship did you realize she was a narcissist? How do you know? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 04:27 AM Flag
»
There were screaming red flags the entire time but it wasn't until I was discarded and stumbled across narcissistic abuse recovery that it all made sense. All the way back to Day 1. I just never wanted to believe someone I was so in love with could act like that forever. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 08:29 AM Flag
»
I think the term narcissist has been thrown around so much that it has lost its meaning. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:06 PM Flag
»
I completely agree plus there is also a spectrum, but if you learn about what true narcissistic personality traits are, it isn't hard to determine whether someone falls on that spectrum after knowing or being with them for years. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:17 PM Flag
»
I don't disagree, but people here love labels and it dilutes the real problems. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:31 PM Flag
[ - ] I pulled a crazy girl move (and, yes, I know I shouldn't be wasting my brain energy on it). Around the holidays, I met someone on a dating site...cool, fun, very attractive & attractive. We chatted via text for about a week, had a great time over drinks. Slept together about 5-6 times over the course of the month. Texting slowed way down so I asked if everything was ok. He said his wife (remember, they were separated) was diagnosed with breast cancer so he had to break it off. My heart broke for him - 3 young girls, etc. Occasionally I would check in to say hi and we'd exchange a few words. In June, we fell back into texting and end up sleeping together twice more. The last time I saw him, we made plans to have a sleep over the upcoming week. Exchanged a few more texts after that and then he disappeared the 1st week of August. Never to be heard from again. Really f'ing weird. I sent 4 short texts over the course of 3 days and stopped. Fast forward to last week. I re-joined the dating site. Low and behold, there he was. I sent a short note asking what happened. No reply so I left it alone. However, this is where I went crazy girl. I made a fake profile. All the details are pretty much me but the picture is not me. He pinged this version of me almost as soon as I posted the profile. Chat followed, we shared more pics and he said "I" was drop dead gorgeous. It's been a great week of texting and thinks "I" am the cat's meow. The part that's absolutely nuts, he said he hasn't slept with anyone in years, he's really rusty, etc., etc. I probed to see if I could get to the truth (i.e. he slept with the real me a bunch of times) and he stuck to his lie. I also found out that his wife never had breast cancer. Anyway, he invited me on a date and it's scheduled for tomorrow - it's been on the books for 4 days. Obviously "I'm" going to stand him up. I want him to feel what it's like to get ghosted. Yes, I know it's immature and dumb, blah, blah. Should I just completely disappear on text, give him a 5 mins heads-up that I'm not coming....? 141 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:04 AM Flag
»
^^one of the attractives in the 1st line should say separated. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:05 AM Flag
»
no, 5min in say you had an emergency. Repeat. "travel for work" and keep it going. Plan another date. Repeat. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:08 AM Flag
»
^also, this is the best thing I've read on UB all day. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:10 AM Flag
»
Me too. Married for 25 years and here for this! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 09:40 PM Flag
»
OP: lol. The real me works, the "fake" me doesn't work. He invited me to the "it" restaurant in our area - see & be seen type place. I'm sopped to meet him at 6:45 for a cocktail before 7;30 dinner reservation. he asked for a corner table, etc. So would you text at 7:00? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:11 AM Flag
»
Fake you got a last minute engagement party invite to a close friend (one of the Kennedys). You'd love for your Kennedy friend to meet this guy next time they come visit you. (guy sounds like social climber). Maybe lay some groundwork by mentioning fake you's fake Kennedy (or similar) friend already. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:27 AM Flag
»
OP: he's very "fancy"...a ton of money. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:33 AM Flag
»
Then he might actually know real Kennedys. I'd try to keep the lies to a minimum [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:46 AM Flag
»
np -- IDK, he lies about everything and is clearly some kind of sicko asshole sex addict. Hard to know what else he is lying about (btdt) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 04:25 AM Flag
»
np -- fake you's fake Kennedy friend -- I'm crying!!! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 04:24 AM Flag
»
Lol this [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 05:18 PM Flag
»
Ahahahahahaha I think this is fucking great. Enjoy fucking w/ his head [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:09 AM Flag
»
OP: As sick as it is, I can't wait. He's the quintessential Wall St guy - confident, handsome, big personality. I'm sure he hasn't been stood up in his life. Help me execute perfectly! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:13 AM Flag
»
OP: one more thing....he lied about his wife having breast cancer. WTF. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:15 AM Flag
»
pull up wifey's details, send her flowers and condolence card for her cancer. "Ex dh whom I've been dating for over a year told me you have cancer, I hope it's not true but if it is, lots of best wishes. - NotYourName". Let the guy deal with that [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:25 AM Flag
»
OP: I don't want to involve the wife - that's malicious. I just want to mess with him. I seriously don't understand why he made up such a horrible lie the 1st time and then disappeared the 2nd time. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:29 AM Flag
»
there are guys like this. Online addicts, only about the next thing, totally into you and then they ghost w some bs excuse and turn up again. Probably still married. I had an experience like this and also did what you did w a fake profile, got him all worked up and ghosted him. You're not the only crazy girl!!! :) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 04:31 AM Flag
»
This is just cruel. You're better than dragging his wife, OP [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:47 AM Flag
»
OP: I'm not - did you see my comment above? That would be malicious. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:48 AM Flag
»
You know he lied about the separation too now, right? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:25 AM Flag
»
OP: yep [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:26 AM Flag
»
I think this post is fake because: "in our area"? No one in NYC (where Wall St. guys live) would say this. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:26 AM Flag
»
OP: I live in Fairfield County (CT)...home to hedge funds and private equity firms [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:31 AM Flag
»
AH. Hedge funder, not Wall St. I retract accusations of fakery, OP, and wish you luck in your juicy revenge strategy [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:36 AM Flag
»
^^And I realize that big Wall St. earners live in CT too! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:37 AM Flag
»
OP: haha...thanks. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:39 AM Flag
»
I think you should show up! Make sure you have your camera pulled up so you can capture the look on his face when it dawns on him what is going on. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:20 AM Flag
»
OP: hmmm....I think that's too bold. I think "I" want to completely stand him up and never text him again. I was also thinking of sending a drink to him with a note that says "sorry" (I would call the restaurant and ask the bartender to send him the drink & note) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:25 AM Flag
»
DO NOT SHOW UP!!!! That just makes you look pathetic. I like the idea of standing him up, but is he really deserving of a heads up? And certainly don't send this asshole a drink. Just don't show. I'm sure he will reach out to the fake you again and if you still want to you can bait him again and stand him up again. But after the first stand up, it really is time for you to move on. You had a one month relationship with a lying asshole online. Hopefully the sex was good for you. Now move on. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:14 PM Flag
»
No. He will turn or the charm and reel her back in [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:26 AM Flag
»
+1 [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:28 AM Flag
»
OP: or he would put 2+2 together and go nuts [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:32 AM Flag
»
No, don’t show up! Continue with the plan and cancel at the last min. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:34 AM Flag
»
+1 -- for a guy like this, this will kill him. Best revenge. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 04:32 AM Flag
»
You should get a good therapist. Not being unkind, just honest. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:24 AM Flag
»
np: meh you're no fun [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:26 AM Flag
»
I'd rather be stable than fun, thanks. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:39 AM Flag
»
OP: I have one. I know it's crazy and I've never done anything like this. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:30 AM Flag
»
Fair enough: Just ask yourself, what's in it for you? But, hey, if it feels powerful and satisfying to let him know you're on to him, then go for it! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:41 AM Flag
»
OP: the only thing in it for me is satisfaction :) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:42 AM Flag
»
SHE needs a therapist? Not the guy who lies about his wife having friggen cancer to get laid??? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:49 AM Flag
»
OP: no - he got laid and then said his wife had cancer when he wanted to end it. After round two, 5 months later he disappeared [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:51 AM Flag
»
It's not an either/or proposition [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:37 AM Flag
»
^^ And HE isn't posting here. SHE is [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:37 AM Flag
»
Nah. I think OP sounds awesome [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 05:18 PM Flag
»
Stand him up once, Mia culpa excuse the next day....dad is dying, had to go to the hospital, make a second date, show up and tell him you’ve already sent his wife the emails/texts from that time she had breast cancer. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:33 AM Flag
»
or - this is too much drama. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:35 AM Flag
»
That’s entertainnnnment! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:38 AM Flag
»
OP: total drama! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:38 AM Flag
»
Best plan on this thread...he is the fucking drama queen sleeping around and lying about his wife! OP don't say another word to this fool. He clearly isn't as fancy or successful as he claims if he has to resort to serial fucking of strangers. I met DH at a hedge fund a long time ago. The real players were and continue to be much more discreet. GL! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 03:14 PM Flag
»
No -- stand him up but say (your voice catching on tears) you found a lump. Who is his wife's oncologist (just in case)? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:25 PM Flag
»
OP: one more detail...I told him he should take an uber. He lives about 20 mins away from the restaurant and "I'm" about 25 minutes away. The real me lives 5 mins away from the restaurant. Ha. So once he's stood up, he'll have to get an uber home like a moron. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:47 AM Flag
»
You could also put all this energy into meeting a man who is worthy of your time [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:53 AM Flag
»
OP: I actually just started chatting with someone who seems like a nice guy... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:56 AM Flag
»
You have your act together, OP!! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:04 AM Flag
»
OP: sometimes this is true, sometimes it's not ;) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:08 AM Flag
»
NP. Don't give up! I found DH on Match but I was ghosted/used more times than I'd like to admit. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:26 PM Flag
»
Please tell us who this turns out [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:56 AM Flag
»
THIS! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:57 AM Flag
»
OP: Definitely!! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:59 AM Flag
»
At 7:00 you text him and say a friend has had a medical emergency and you can’t make it. But I strongly advise you let it go after that. You are spending way too much energy on something that’s worthless. The guy already wasted 8 months of your life. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:56 AM Flag
»
OP: I like this plan and 100% agree [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:58 AM Flag
»
The medical emergency aspect has a nice symmetry with his mendacity [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:05 AM Flag
»
OP: you're right - good call out. What is my medical emergency when he asks? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:08 AM Flag
»
NP: have the emergency & spend 10 more minutes to reschedule 2nd date - he deserves it [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:12 AM Flag
»
+100 [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:16 AM Flag
»
OP: another good idea...what is my medical emergency though? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:18 AM Flag
»
You just found out you are a whack job? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 06:23 AM Flag
»
Yes, this!! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:45 AM Flag
»
Family member has the emergency, not you. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:17 AM Flag
»
OP: smart [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:19 AM Flag
»
Yeah, I like this. "I was on my way out the door when my sister called. My nephew broke a glass and cut himself, and DH has their car. I need to take him to ER for stitches. I am so so sorry. Can we please reschedule for Saturday night? Same time, same place, my treat." Then he has to go back to the restaurant and be stood up again. If you're batshit crazy, you could text him Saturday night and say you can't go bc your BF has breast cancer and thinks her DH is cheating on her. lol [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:54 PM Flag
»
OR^^^ This is the most fun I've had all day! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:57 PM Flag
»
FTW! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 03:15 PM Flag
»
No, just no show so then he's left wondering. He will keep corresponding if you cancel for a good reason. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:29 AM Flag
»
Tell him your exdh called to tell you he has breast cancer and desperately needs your support. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 12:14 PM Flag
»
OP: haaaaa [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 12:35 PM Flag
»
No, no No! Don't give him a heads up to the no show. Just stand him up. Only if and when he text you after or while he is waiting do you give an excuse. If you want to bait him into another date to stand him up again then give a medical/emergency excuse so you can make another date. But frankly, I think you should just stand him up and not respond to further texts asking where are you/what happened. He won't know what to do with that... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:18 PM Flag
»
I did almost this exact same thing with my ex-dh on a dating site. It was a satisfying one and done. He was/is a sleaze ball scum bag who cheated compulsively and has major sexual issues, so I knew how to reel him in. After so much betrayal and deceit, it felt momentarily satisfying to deceive him. I vote you just no show and never have contact again. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:24 AM Flag
»
ditto. after this no show, don't waste any more energy on him. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:18 PM Flag
»
I have a feeling you're going to end up blowing it. You seem to really want the payoff that he knows it was you. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:25 AM Flag
»
Is everyone ignoring the obvious, which is that if you date someone who says they are separated, MOST OF THE TIME THEY ARE LYING. Also, the wife suddenly has breast cancer, ALSO CLEARLY A LIE. You need to stalk people better BEFORE YOU DATE THEM. I hope you have learned from this. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:27 AM Flag
»
also carry on with the revenge. I would send your fake logon and fake email address, password etc to the wife though. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:29 AM Flag
»
Leave his wife out of it [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:39 AM Flag
»
She won't believe it if she doesn't want to. But her health is at risk. OP should at least do the right thing and give the wife a fighting chance. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:41 AM Flag
»
+1000. The wife deserves to know. BTDT. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.03.19, 02:48 AM Flag
»
OP: I’m on the fence about this. This type of meddling could affect an entire family. [