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09.03.19, 12:40 PM General Topics
29 replies
To all the parents of kids who are Seniors applying to college. It's a rough year, especially for those kids who do not get into their ED in December when others do. Advise your kid to shoot high, but know if your kid is like most students with an A- or Bplus average and not an athlete or rich, manage your expectations. I just finished doing this process three times. All three did not get into their top choice but are ultimately happy. Good Luck! [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 09.03.19, 12:40 PM Flag
 

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I think it's hard to accept what anyone tells you until you've actually gone through it. And then you'll tell the parents who come after you and they won't listen to you, either. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 12:45 PM Flag
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So true. I did not listen either. So convinced that the schools would see something special in my kids, like they were President of the student body, or had amazing recos that would outweigh their GPA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 12:48 PM Flag
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Same here. Look at it this way - that's your job! you are supposed to be your kid's biggest fan. If not you, who? But yeah college applications are a huge injection of reality that most people don't drop everything when they get your Christmas cards, lol. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 01:13 PM Flag
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How dare you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 01:23 PM Flag
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sorry I meant my Christmas cards, not necessarily yours. My cards were always shit anyway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 01:29 PM Flag
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Ok then lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 01:30 PM Flag
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Older mom of two kids, now in their 20s. You are totally right. It's the rare parent who will aim lower than they think they should, and whose kid will listen to them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 01:57 PM Flag
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I wish I had been more chill. I remember the front HS office almost calming me down (there was a late payment for a subject test) and telling me, "everyone lands where they're supposed to land." At the time I thought, easy for you to say, you don't have a senior, but later on I realized she was right and that she was probably just benignly tolerating me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 02:26 PM Flag
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I always hated that expression. Same with "everything works out for the best". It doesn't always. And I think most people tell themselves it worked out for the best simply to avoid having painful regrets. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 02:53 PM Flag
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I agree with this. The universe conspires in your favor and you end up in the college setting you are supposed to be in. Do mistakes happen sometimes? Yes - then you xfer. But for the most part put your best self forward let go and enjoy what’s left of us. It is out of your control. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 05:36 PM Flag
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^Left of HS not us [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 05:36 PM Flag
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College season adjusts nearly everyone's attitude. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 02:27 PM Flag
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Wtf is college season? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 05:37 PM Flag
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As someone who also went through it this year, I would caution not to shoot too high in the ED round and think about fit and what you can bring in to the school. It is really your best shot and if you don't pick the right match and reach too high your odds in the regular round for your other top choices are much lower if you don't have a strong hook and are one of the many A-/excellent scores white or Asian UMC kid. My DS overshot the ED and ended up with sea of waitlists and rejections from the reach schools. So the whole thing turned into a nail biter well into the summer, when we got the call offering him a spot off the waitlist at his second choice school, the school that by all accounts he should have ED to begin with. He is thrilled but the process was 6 months longer than it needed to be. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 01:38 PM Flag
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Thanks for sharing. I’m dreading this process and want to move to middle of nowhere. I need to stay realistic!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 01:41 PM Flag
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The other thing that is messed up is that schools that would once have accepted kids right away now put them on waitlists because they can't manage their acceptances. Everyone over applies so kids get into schools they are using as back ups and the schools can't tell if they should accept them or not, so the schools use waitlists as a tool to manage the situation. And it's a vicious cycle. The more uncertainty, the more schools kids apply to which increases the uncertainty. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 04:42 PM Flag
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Well the other thing we noticed was that quite a few of his friends also ended up getting into schools off the WL, which was something the school did not really believe would happen. So if your favorite waitlists you make sure to really work it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:23 PM Flag
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Oh please. It worked out BRILLIANTLY for you yet here you are talking about how bad it is [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 05:38 PM Flag
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I am just sharing what we learned in the process, not at all unhappy with how it turned out, I did say DS is thrilled! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 07:21 PM Flag
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Thanks. DC has amazing grades, and a pretty good, but not tippy top SAT score. Will ED first choice school, but have managed dc's expectations and toured all the target/safety schools and dc would be ok with those as well. I think having experienced the NYC public school process has helped with this. We have always had to manage expectations, not fall in love with one school, think about ranking a school first, etc. GL to everyone! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 01:46 PM Flag
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Ditto. Have a reasonable list and never fall in love with one. You will be fine [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 05:39 PM Flag
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If you feel like sharing, OP, what were their stats, their top choice, and where did they end up? I'm glad they are all happy! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 01:58 PM Flag
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Temper your expectations. There will be a record number of kids applying and there has been a lot of grade and score inflation over the past 5 years. What looks like 75th %tile doesn't mean much as ECs, recs and essay are more important. Hooked kids take up a large percentage of spots, so there are few for the ones who are just academically motivated. Apply widely so your child has some choice and if you ED, pick something suitable and not a long shot. Waitlists abound as colleges play admissions games. Dc had high stats (1570 SAT, 99.5 GPA and normal but not impressive ECs) and got rejected or waitlisted from all reaches and half of matches. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 02:57 PM Flag
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See, in your case I wonder what the reaches were. Because if you don't have really great ECs and a hook, most traditional reaches are out of the question. But I'm sure your dc is at a school that would consider wonderful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 04:33 PM Flag
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np. What is a traditional reach? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 04:40 PM Flag
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Nnp all ivy. Stanford mit (some day all too 20) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 05:41 PM Flag
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Reaches were Yale(WL),Penn, Brown(legacy). Got into #1 match, rejected at #2 (which is lower on USNWR and lower standards), WL at #3 and 4, accepted at #5 and 6. Lucky to get into first match. In hindsight, should have applied to more matches. Dc rejected a bunch due to location, frattiness and size, but if they hadn't gotten into the school they did, it would have been nice to have more choice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 06:46 PM Flag
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I agree with this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 09:57 PM Flag
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I can’t find matches. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 09:49 PM Flag
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