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09.03.19, 01:58 AM General Topics
16 replies
I am trying to raise good kids (13 & 16) who have a strong work ethic, are reasonably equipped for independence, and aren't entitled. It is exhausting. I can't seem to find my old fun self. Everything that comes out of my mouth is either a directive, a reprimand, a lesson, or a question. It is super annoying. Will it return when the kids go to college? How can I lighten up? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 09.03.19, 01:58 AM Flag
 

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Its a hard job [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 02:04 AM Flag
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Can you find a way to make it more fun? Your intentions are good, but what is your delivery? Do you set your kids up to be independent? And then let them suffer the natural consequences of their choices/actions? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 02:08 AM Flag
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When I get like this I know I need a break. Take some time for YOU to reset. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 02:11 AM Flag
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Carve out time for yourself! Even if it's just a mani-pedi or a massage. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 02:15 AM Flag
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Their life with you should not be a stream of directives, reprimands and lessons. Lighten up. Trust that you taught them well. Take some time to just enjoy who they are. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 02:21 AM Flag
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OP is asking HOW to lighten up. Any advice? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 02:23 AM Flag
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I agree with the others who say you need to take time for yourself but also, is there ever time for you to just have fun with your kids? Like when you don't have to be "on" and can just enjoy each other? When my dd was a teen we had some things we did together (nothing special, just stuff like watching reality shows and baking) when we could just laugh and talk. Helped a lot. But maybe was easier with just one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 02:25 AM Flag
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This is wonderful advice [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 02:30 AM Flag
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Ugh. My friend was like this with her kids and she was insufferable to be around. Lead by example. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 02:35 AM Flag
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You sound nice [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 02:49 AM Flag
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i feel EXACTLY the same and i have a 3 and 6 yo. The whole 'model good behavior' and 'teach them to make good choices' yadda yadda you turn into someone you don't recognize and mine are comparatively tiny. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 02:41 AM Flag
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80/20 rule [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 02:45 AM Flag
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Explain? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 02:51 AM Flag
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80 percent of the results will come from about 20% of the things you do. Figure out what the big rocks are and lighten up on the rest. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 03:33 AM Flag
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If you want your kids to be independent, back off as much as you can. Let them figure things out on their own. let them make their own mistakes and learn from that. everything shouldn't be a lesson. just live your life [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 01:54 PM Flag
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Older mom here. I was the bitch; ex-DH was the "fun" parent who let them go out on a school night (after I'd said no because I knew they had exams the next day). You are not their friend. You have to toe the line and be a bitch. Now, that both have graduated college, gotten jobs, have their own apartment, I can loosen up a little with them. But they're 23 and 26. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 02:00 PM Flag
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