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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] I've my MFA in Creative Writing and burn thru Russian Literature like it's candy. That said, I am so profoundly sad sad sad after learning today of the death of author Dorothea Benton Frank, the queen of snarky southern chick-lit. If you're looking to read something that you would normally pass on, please, download her book "By Invitation Only". It's a treat. Godspeed, DBF. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:20 AM Flag
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Looks great, thanks for the rec! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:29 AM Flag
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I suppose using proper punctuation and spelling is not part of the creative writing process. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:35 AM Flag
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Don't be a jerk [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:38 AM Flag
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Np: But being a jerk is clearly part of your process! It's an UB post. Calm down. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:40 AM Flag
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It wasn't for ee cummings [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:42 AM Flag
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oh please [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:06 PM Flag
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NP: that would be “are” not part of... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:43 AM Flag
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NNP: No, because the verb agrees with the gerund 'using', so should be singular [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:45 AM Flag
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Correct. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:44 AM Flag
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Wrong. Don't correct people when you don't have a grasp of grammar yourself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:13 AM Flag
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UB too B for UB. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:43 AM Flag
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In Russian? Because otherwise, why would this be anything to boast about? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:14 AM Flag
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love her. So sad she passed away. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:25 AM Flag
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MFA in CW is pretty useless. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:06 PM Flag
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What does utility have to do with anything? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:44 PM Flag
[ - ] forgive my stupid question.. we're starting at a new school tomorrow. Does my third grader bring all the school supplies that we purchased in her backpack or should I carry it in a tote? I know I won't be allowed in the building and we didn't have to buy any before. 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:05 AM Flag
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Disposable Tote so she can easily hand off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:11 AM Flag
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so a backpack plus the tote? sorry if I'm being obtuse [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:16 AM Flag
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yes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:22 AM Flag
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great thank you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:30 AM Flag
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np: you can send with disposable shopping bag or the like. also - totally fine to send in stages - especially if some are classroom materials. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:40 AM Flag
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ha, my kid would die if she doesn't take everything that's on the list at once. she takes everything way too seriously. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:31 AM Flag
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Cute! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 10:35 AM Flag
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thank you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:32 AM Flag
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If she has backpack, why not just put her supplies in that? Why the extra bag? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:17 AM Flag
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Np: If you have to ask this question it’s because your kid doesn’t go to a crazy school with supple lists a mile long. Consider yourself lucky. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 10:35 AM Flag
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If it fits in a tote bag, it fits in a backpack. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:49 PM Flag
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I kid you not- at my kid’s school we fill the whole backpack plus two paper shopping bags with all the supplies requested. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:20 PM Flag
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"We" aren't starting. Your child is starting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:42 AM Flag
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Talk about overthinking... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:17 AM Flag
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Only if the tote bag is the right bag by the right designer. You want her to start off impressing her peers! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:18 AM Flag
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send just a few items in the first day in her backpack. they won't need everything day 1. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:33 PM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone else ever been bullied at work? I get along super well with everyone at my small company except this one female manager who is often nasty and talks down to me. Not sure what to do. Just feeling kind of down because of it. 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:13 AM Flag
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are you really using bullied? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:14 AM Flag
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This. Someone not being nice to you isn’t being bullied [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:38 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:18 AM Flag
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I'm an HR leader and it's real. Bullies exist at all ages. Bullies generally don't outgrow this ugly problem. They just find new ways to bully in the adult world. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:46 PM Flag
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Sort of. Anyone who is nasty to others is a total lame-o. Even worse when abusing position at work to make life unpleasant for the rank and file. This has everything to do with her and little or nothing to do with you. Frankly, I would consider having a direct conversation with her and asserting some boundaries. Let her know that you have taken notice of her hostility and ask if there is an adjustment you can make. Regardless of how she answers let her know that you welcome constructive criticism if delivered professionally. Document the day beforehand and discuss with your own manager in advance. GL. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:27 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:02 PM Flag
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Totally different dynamic but there's an opposing counsel in one of my cases who is a bully. He sends me 5 paragraph long threatening emails once a week. I used to fear this weekly attacks but now I try to find humor in how transparent they are. He is about 20 years my senior, and while I'm not young I sound young on the phone, so he probably decided I was a young gal who he could push around. You have to try to turn it around and understand that she has the problem, not you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:53 AM Flag
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I can relate to this, many nasty emails from opposing counsel in a few cases right now. Makes me miss the old days when they had to send you a letter in the snail mail. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:59 AM Flag
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That sucks. I have a young voice too. Sometimes it works to my advantage but lately I wish I had a much deeper voice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:00 AM Flag
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Yes, when I returned from maternity leave [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:06 AM Flag
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Yes but you have to explain what you mean by nasty. Not everyone who isn’t nice to you is a bully. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 11:41 AM Flag
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I think it's pretty common, hence the show The Office. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:08 PM Flag
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Have you spoken up? "I can't hear you Jayne when you speak to me in a condescending tone." Then walk away. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:30 PM Flag
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Yes, I have. It was horrible. It was someone who was much more senior than me and was essentially immune from consequences of his behavior. I was singled out, and to this day I have no idea why. My manager stepped in a few times (like when I was verbally harassed over email). Nothing, and I mean nothing, would make this person stop. I tried having direct conversations, kept contact limited to email, and nothing stopped it. I eventually switched roles within the company and still shutter years later when I think of how this person treated me. I think the best thing you can do is document everything, overcommunicate, and if you want - be direct. Ask person X - "hey, can you please not use that tone with me? If there is something that is bothering you i'd really like to discuss it." Do you have a rapport with your manager to get his/her support on this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:02 PM Flag
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do the standard UB reply of "you sound fat" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:30 AM Flag
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Yes, in my first & second jobs out of law school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:40 PM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone done jury duty at 111 Centre? For New York County Civil (small claims)? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:09 AM Flag
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Tried to get out of it by using a scheduled vacation and they only postponed it. Ugh [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:28 AM Flag
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why ugh? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 11:14 AM Flag
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Seriously, we all have to serve at some point. Not much you can do about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:48 PM Flag
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I’m in Kings County but my boss just served civil court jury duty in NY County and she was let go at the end of the first day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:28 AM Flag
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Ah, thank you for the response, that is encouraging! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:49 AM Flag
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Jury duty's pretty civilized now. You'll probably be out in two days. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:57 PM Flag
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Since when do they have juries for Small Claims court? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:20 PM Flag
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NYC civil courts all have the option of a jury trial if demanded. Threshold for claims is up to $25,000. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:31 PM Flag
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^^sorry, threshold was the wrong word. Civil courts will hear claims up to $25,000. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:34 PM Flag
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j.d. isn't bad. Dd just did it and was out in 1 day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:29 PM Flag
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You'll be out in a couple of days; the courthouse is actually a lot cleaner & nicer than it used to be. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:43 PM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone left a very high paying job with long hours for something more flexible but pays less? Are you happy you made the switch? And what do you do now? I can't seem to find those unicorn work from home or part time jobs that pay anything decent that covers childcare costs. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:56 AM Flag
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i went 4 days a week at a 20% pay cut and it’s been ideal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:04 AM Flag
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Do you find that you actually work 20% less? My fear is doing the same amount of work for less pay. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:10 AM Flag
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Wah wah, cry me a river [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:58 AM Flag
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I did this, did often work in some capacity on my day off (a phone call, emails etc) but it was SO WORTH IT to me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:40 AM Flag
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np; i tried 4 days w 20% reduction, but my work load still required 50 hours. there was no way I could keep up and still look good to get 25% yr end bonuse, so I left. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:34 PM Flag
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I did but the supposedly stress free job turned out to be as stressful and as many hours as before. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 11:46 AM Flag
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We did, but it was slowly, over 10 years. When we adopted DDs, DH became the SAHP until both were in elementary. Then he started his own business with his free time during the day. When that got traction, I quit my job and we started two more businesses together. Now we run the three businesses and we each work about 20 hours a week. We don't net what we would in full time jobs, but we would not go back for anything. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:51 PM Flag
[ - ] Something your parents criticized you for that you now realize they were correct. Me: lack of gratitude. 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:51 AM Flag
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Chew my food [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:56 AM Flag
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Haha [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:59 AM Flag
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The people I dated [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:00 AM Flag
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this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:56 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:48 AM Flag
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My parents called me money grubbing and materialistic. I made it work for me! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:02 AM Flag
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Argumentative [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:05 AM Flag
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1) Being too chubby to look good in cheap clothes. 2)Dating a loser who was going to ruin my life (4 years older than me, high school drop out, lived at home with mom, didn't have a drivers license... so thankful he didn't get me knocked up). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:26 AM Flag
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Too slow to write thank you notes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:29 AM Flag
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LOL, same. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:24 AM Flag
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not finding my passion [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:36 AM Flag
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I needed to study more [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:54 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:48 AM Flag
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1. Too manipulative; 2. too boy crazy over stupid loser boys; 3. Too mouthy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:58 AM Flag
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I alway fin fault with people [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:07 AM Flag
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I honestly can't think of anything my parents criticized me about. Is that rare? There was a lot of dysfunction, but I always knew I was loved. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:56 PM Flag
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Not brushing my teeth properly 2x a day [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:40 PM Flag
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Quitting piano. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:48 PM Flag
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Looking down/not smiling on stage at dance recital [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:18 PM Flag
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I don't think my mother was ever correct about anything. my dad wasn't critical. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:32 AM Flag
[ - ] I think there is missing information but my ds said he didn't sit or talk with anyone today during his first day of 5th grade. He went up to the boy who was his best friend last year who said "what do you want". And another boy who has been a bully and is a rival for another friend tried to trip him in art class. The dynamic with the first friend is that they used to play Fornite and my son would rage and order him around, which I put an end to, but over the summer he invited this same friend over and the friend was disengaged from my son (while enjoying our Internet and pool otherwise). I am so disappointed because my son has been depressed, has wanted to quit all his activities and is seeing a counselor for that. I thought at the very least he had this friend in his class to reconnect with. 51 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:42 AM Flag
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The boy who tripped him has been jealous for several years over my son's friendship with another kid who is also in the class. They had a falling out and called him "bot" and names. Then "apologized" over facetime this summer. I think to get a fortnite team going and for no other reason. My son is no longer on Fornite and says he's over it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:44 AM Flag
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Jealous lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:59 AM Flag
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Yes, jealous of the relationship my son has with another kid. Obvious stuff - like getting him to not sit with him in music, kicking his chair, calling him names, and even saying don't be friends with him. Also uses the F word to describe gay people. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:03 AM Flag
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Um, “I used to give him parties and he had like 20 friends. Last year it was down to 4 and apparently now, none?” it really sounds like you and your son are the problem ... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:03 AM Flag
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So pick apart my post. I am being genuine. Working my ass off and trying to do the right thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:11 AM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:22 AM Flag
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So your son rages and orders people around, and they no longer want to be friends with him, and your question is...? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:22 AM Flag
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Ok, for the first friend - it sounds like he's a bit over your son. Maybe advised your son to not try/push. Let things lie. If first friend wants to reconnect he will. For the second 'friend' - I don't like that you're saying he's jealous. That's kind of weird. If your son and that friend don't get along, again, let it lie. Reinforce to your son that he needs to be polite and considerate of others. Raging and ordering people around is a very quick way to make them look for others to hang out with. Why don't you find other friends outside of school for your son to hang out with. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:50 AM Flag
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Agree. Find friends in a group outside of class [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:58 AM Flag
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Maybe he is over him. He's a very chill kid who seems to like to hand out with the girls. He said this to my son with a crowd a girls around. I know the raging was not good earlier in the summer. He had the game removed until he learned but then he lost interest. I was flabbergasted actually because this was the way he was communicating with friends. He just gave it up and doesn't seem to care. The second kid is not a friend but has been a known bully since 2nd grade (I heard it from someone who works at the school). He uses the F word, The bully has joined forces with another true friend and seems to want to make it hard for my son and this other kid to be friends. That kid apologized over the summer but they haven't seen each other. He is not happy about anyone being in his class. Just thinks his math teacher is nice. This is a big let down after 5 years. I used to give him parties and he had like 20 friends. Last year it was down to 4 and apparently now, none? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:58 AM Flag
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"hang" out with girls. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:59 AM Flag
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Please be a troll [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:03 AM Flag
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No way this is a troll. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:37 AM Flag
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“while enjoying our Internet and pool otherwise” you and your son both sound insufferable. If some kid acted life my DC need to kiss his ass because he has a pool, I’d encourage a cold shoulder too. Sounds like the other kids realize your son is an asshole and decided not to put up w it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:59 AM Flag
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OP - didn't mean it to sound like that. We have a pool in our condo. I just meant he was content to hang out but wasn't really engaged. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:04 AM Flag
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And anyway. If my son is the "asshole" as you say, any tips for getting him not to be? He is an only child with an absent father and the gaming got out of hand. He got very intense over gaming which we curtailed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:05 AM Flag
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I'm sorry OP, I think people are being too harsh. The bottom line is that your son needs to make new friends. I would encourage him to do after school activities, like an activity class or hobby where he can meet new kids. He is still so young, will he go to a new school for middle? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:38 AM Flag
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Thank you. Yes, tonight we talked about applying to a Science Math magnet for 6-8. I am also considering taking him to Russian Math or Robotics club that involves kids from many schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:52 AM Flag
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NP I think a new set of kids for middle school would be a fresh start for him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:50 AM Flag
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Hey, not nice! The poor woman is worried about her child. Why pile on? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:24 AM Flag
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You are way off the mark here and it isn't helping your child. Your ds was not acting like a friend to this kid and as this kid has now matured, is establishing boundaries, and he doesn't want to put up with it. Your ds kind of burned that bridge and it may stay burned for awhile. As for the jealousy thing, that is a really weird take on it. I don't think you are helping your ds with this stuff at all and I hope you aren't pushing that narrative. The way to handle this is to encourage your ds to be nice to everyone, to talk to other kids and make friends with other kids, and to be nice to the kid who tripped him. Please speak with the school counselor and ask them to meet with your ds and let them know he is struggling socially. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:02 AM Flag
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This is good advice. Telling your son everyone is jealous of him is not helping and pushing the idea that people get to enjoy his pool so should defer to his behaviour is terrible [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:09 AM Flag
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You have all hooked onto the wrong things about my post. I neither tell my son anyone is jealous nor do I celebrate the pool that anyone in our complex can use. I was putting that in my post as some context. Based on other incidents since 2nd or 3rd grade, I have deduced that the bully kid (who tripped him) is jealous and a classic bully. The pool is in my neighborhood and we are of quite modest means. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:21 AM Flag
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Why would you assume a bully is jealous. Tell your child to stay away from that kid and leave it alone. I would tell my son, if you treat people badly they will not want to hang out with you. Tell him to be nicer and people will like him. If he has lost all his friends, he is doing something to alienate people. Work with him on being nice and kind. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:40 AM Flag
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Have him try some new activities to help meet some people. Focus on the positive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:49 AM Flag
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Because the kid literally says to the mutual friend to stay away from or not be friends with my son. I was a child once and can recognize the signs of jealousy. Anyway, I think you have something on his kindness. I really wish I knew how to build that. I feel like a broken record saying be kind, let that go, etc. He is critical of everything and everyone lately, including me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:55 AM Flag
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Do you see the contradictions?your son is critical and unkind yet you insist people. dislike him.because they are jealous... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:01 AM Flag
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Jesus. I am not claiming my kid is perfect and persecuted by a mob of jealous children. I said that in the case of this ONE kid who tripped him today but has done other things to him in the past all centered around a mutual friend of their (fights over who gets to sit by him, play with him, etc). This kid, age 9-10 uses the F word, and the other F word. I have been warned about him by two moms who work and volunteer at school. He has been in dc's class for three out of 4 years and even when they were in 2nd grade I heard stories about his conduct. So whether he is "jealous" or just a bully, who knows.I am not contradicting and not claiming my son is perfect. He has been negative the way complaining, depressed people get and I have him in therapy for it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:30 AM Flag
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OR this what we call someone who is "learning how to be a friend" - that language helps my kids see it for what it is - someone who is struggling socially and is lashing out because they are scared they will get hurt. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:46 AM Flag
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OR Also I was a volunteer mom and them talking about other kids in any capacity is over the line inappropriate. I have never done and would never do that. It is incredibly bad. You may think it is fine but it is 100% not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:48 AM Flag
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I don't think it is fine. One I think just had my back and the other is a gossip. You also hear from dc -- so and so was in trouble and had to stand in the hall every other. This was in 2nd and 3rd grade. I do not repeat anything. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:59 AM Flag
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OR The way to handle kids who are "jealous" is to be kind to him and help them be included. It is very rare for boys that age to be possessive with friends like you are implying. Not saying it doesn't happen, just that it is rare. Talk to the counselor. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:33 AM Flag
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The women here have reading comprehension problems. I accept that there's a bully who may be jealous. If your kid doesn't understand that his raging behavior toward Friend 1 this summer was a problem, that is interesting... maybe he is angry in general? why is he so angry? I know you need advice going forward and I'm sorry I don't know what to advise other than guidance counselors are usually useless for anything but gross ongoing bullying. Is his therapist talking to you about why he's so angry? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:07 PM Flag
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Stop Fortnite asap. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:22 AM Flag
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OP - Actually, my dc took himself off Fornite. He couldn't handle it and I thought that was rather mature. All 3 of these boys in my post (friend 1 who was really the best friend, friend 2 and the boy who tripped him and called him a "bot"). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:28 AM Flag
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^All 3 play Fortnite. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:28 AM Flag
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It sounds like he needs some serious restrictions on games and screens at home. Which only means more work for you. Encourage him to branch out to new friends, to leave those boys alone and give them space. Talk about how to be a good friend, what he wants in friends. Get him into after school activities that he finds fun. Exercise as much as possible. Meet with Guidance counselor at school and ask for help. You seem like you are at least willing to work on this, which is more than I can say for a lot of other parents out there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:33 AM Flag
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This is good advice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:41 AM Flag
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OP - Thank you both. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:56 AM Flag
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Unfortunately if your son is no longer playing fortnite he may need different friends. My son doesn't play it (never got into it) and two of his friends are much more distant as a result. It seems to be a social thing as well as a game. My son has found friends who like other things that he also likes - it did take time. Boys talk and bond over internet games so it is a big deal when they change games. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:47 AM Flag
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This. We do not allow fortnite and my son lost a lot of friends. He ended up getting new friends which has been great. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:42 AM Flag
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Be patient and don't ask him questions about who he sat with or talked to. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:13 AM Flag
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In a nutshell--your ds was a mean kid and now has no friends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:32 PM Flag
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Get him involved with theater. Theater kids are so supportive. He'll learn to channel his emotions better. It's also fun. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:32 PM Flag
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theater kids are not especially supportive. they're just mean to each other in more nuanced and sophisticated ways. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:08 PM Flag
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Not true. My dd had a hard time fitting in and theatre really saved her. NP [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 11:05 PM Flag
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You're mean. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 10:29 PM Flag
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This mom is nicely asking for help. Why do we have to be so mean? I'd say 1: Give it a little bit to sort itself out. 2: And, if not, have your son confront the problem head on, maybe offering an olive branch, saying like "Hey, I know I was kind of bossy and a jerk to you on Fortnite and I'm sorry I got so competitive." I know that's a lot for a middle grader boy to do, but worth a try if he's up for it. Also, keep in mind you may not be getting the FULL story. But that's s start. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 11:30 PM Flag
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Also have him join an activity outside of school so he can have a fresh start dynamic and new friends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:05 AM Flag
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Ladies.. boys are about domination. Different from girls. I think it's unfortunate (and of course there are exceptions) but boy social life is very much about establishing dominance. In that context, apologizing is very dangerous, even fatal. Friend #1 decided he didn't want to be dominated any more. The Bully wants to dominate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:31 AM Flag
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That's so gross. We need to expect more of our boys. Not give into this toxic bullshit you just posted where apologizing for being wrong is considered weak or fatal. F that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:47 PM Flag
[ - ] Where did you get your everyday drinking glasses and how they held up? Crate & Barrel, Pottery Barn, Williams Sonoma? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:36 AM Flag
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I had a variety of different types of glasses. Some picked up at flea markets, etc. Then a month ago I just decided to go for all one kind. They're from Target. The style is Clarte. I got the tall water glasses and the short tumbers. I bought more than I need 'cause I assume they'll break. i oddly love them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:43 AM Flag
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I've been using stemless wineglasses from Marshalls for everything. I think they are an Italian brand. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:46 AM Flag
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Duralex and the bone china from Muji. One cup from Muji chipped, but otherwise everything holding up great. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:11 AM Flag
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Bon maman jelly jars. Haven’t had one break yet! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:17 AM Flag
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that's what we use too! I love them. Glad to know we're not alone. :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:51 AM Flag
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Wow. Trashy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:02 AM Flag
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They are so pretty! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:37 AM Flag
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OR: all my other glasses kept breaking and the jelly jars didn’t. In the last year I think we broke our last store bought drinking glass. I’m sure someday I’ll replace them, but they work fine. On another note, my 10yo was surprised to learn he was drinking from jelly jars. He thought they were “fancy glasses” up until a few months ago. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:46 AM Flag
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The lip on them annoys me though they look nice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:55 PM Flag
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Why wouldn't any glass "hold up". Fishes Eddy (in NYC) has great ones. Just Anchor Hocking from Target or any mass retailer are fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:33 PM Flag
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CB2 Marta, they're fragile but cheap. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:48 PM Flag
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Some came from a friend who was moving and getting rid of stuff. The rest came from goodwill. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:51 PM Flag
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^ Someone breaks at least one glass every year, but they have been fine in the dishwasher. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:52 PM Flag
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IKEA. They have been fine and always pick up 2 when we go there which is about once every few years. They are very durable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:55 PM Flag
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Ikea, and very well. They're very plain, no stems, thick glass. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:48 PM Flag
[ - ] Had a bad day at work. Boss is so critical of every little thing I do "wrong". Can you just remind me that lots of bosses are assholes and it doesn't mean I'm getting fired or anything. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:09 AM Flag
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I have no idea if you are getting fired. If you are unhappy you should look for another job. I’ve had plenty of insufferable bosses and I’ve been fired before. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:15 AM Flag
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are they telling you so that you can learn and improve or just to be critical? I frequently point things out to a newish employee, but it's because they need to know it, not to be a jack ass. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:17 AM Flag
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I'm sorry you had a crap day. But can you give us some examples of the things you did wrong. That'll help us advised you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:44 AM Flag
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I don't know your situation but I do have a crazy boss who will go on day-long rampages and tear into everything the rest of us are doing. The ultimate question is really, does your presence make her job easier or harder, on balance? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:49 AM Flag
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Often, it's a certain personality type that is driven to climb the ladder, and that personality type is mean and crazy. Look at all the business books about how to handle jerk bosses--they're written for a reason. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:02 PM Flag
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Boss here. The Tuesday after a long weekend when summer is now officially over puts everyone in a bad mood. End of year is looming with perhaps nothing to show for it, plus back to school head aches and holidays coming up mean more pressure for him/her (and you of course). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:22 PM Flag
[ - ] dc starting at la Guardia hs this week. dc can't remember the school email, only the first part of it which included 4 digits of dc's number. Can someone tell me what comes after the @? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:54 PM Flag
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go to "all mail" and just one by one [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:06 AM Flag
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What is your question? Email for what ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:07 AM Flag
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Probably “schools.nyc.gov” (appears to be the email handle on the website for certain contacts). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:12 AM Flag
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Go on website to clubs etc and see if anyone’s is listed [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:58 AM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone else feel like your DH is not attracted to you? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:49 PM Flag
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Yes I do. Mid 30s and very attractive too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:22 AM Flag
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Me too. Not since we had kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:33 AM Flag
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+1 Same thing happened with his ex wife. He just stopped thinking of me/her as a sexual being once the mothering began. He doesn't seem bothered by it, although I am. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:12 AM Flag
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Yes, his dick stopped working at about 42 and I’ve taken it personally [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:38 AM Flag
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Is it resentment? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:45 AM Flag
[ - ] Would love for all you ladies to read this thread and learn to be immensely grateful for what you have. Your child not getting into a 70k/year private school is not the end of the world. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cv6tjh/what_are_some_things_youd_only_know_by_growing_up/ 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:41 PM Flag
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We weren’t poor but my parents made sure we understood. To this day I still feel small for begging my parents for a certain coat and then seeing people with absolutely nothing. It gave me a better perspective for the rest of my life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:49 PM Flag
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Poverty is soul crushing. BTDT. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:11 AM Flag
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The librarian story made me cry [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:03 AM Flag
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People who come from wealth have NO IDEA what growing up poor is like. Venus and Mars. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:10 AM Flag
[ - ] Apropos of nothing have we discussed yet how stunning Sylvester Stallone s daughter is? Sistine? There’s a photo of her in Star magazine. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:32 PM Flag
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She is beautiful. She’s got a model mother and her dad is, well, Stallone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:37 PM Flag
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She’s carrying it extremely well and wearing a very sexy but understated neutral color dress. Stylist is a genius. It’s in a print magazine so I can’t post it ... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:39 PM Flag
[ - ] Where do you buy clothes for your tweens? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:11 PM Flag
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Old navy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:13 PM Flag
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Old Navy, Primark, Hannah Andersen (still). Has North face outerwear that I buy from Amazon. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:48 AM Flag
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Old navy, H&M and they are now into consignment shops which is a lot of fun. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:52 AM Flag
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H&M, did some Justice but hated the quality. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:14 AM Flag
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Old Navy, Lands End. Have 2 ds so fill in with sports stuff like Adidas pants and team shirts from Modell's, etc. Occasionally Gap. Have done Primary. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:05 AM Flag
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Forever 21, old navy, target [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:25 AM Flag
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Zara, Nordstrom [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:28 AM Flag
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H&M for the prices, Justice for the fashion (so overpriced though). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 06:49 PM Flag
[ - ] We are moving from MD to Glendale in Southern California. Any moms from there? What should I be expecting? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:07 PM Flag
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The Americana! Love that place!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:14 AM Flag
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Armenians! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:15 AM Flag
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+10000 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:25 AM Flag
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And of a fairly insular ex-Soviet cast, not c.1906 immigrants. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:16 AM Flag
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I grew up near by. It's very suburban and not super close to the main part of LA, but it's a nice area. What brings you there vs. somewhere else in LA? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:32 AM Flag
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Moving now? Expect HEAT. It is scorching and will be for another few months. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:27 AM Flag
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And it will be brown and dry, but green in Jan. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:18 AM Flag
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Glenoaks canyon? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:17 AM Flag
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Better food options in eagle rock but rockbird is good. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 07:28 AM Flag
[ - ] The final scene of the movie Parenthood (with Steve Martin) where the whole family is together and all the new babies makes me cry every time. 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:03 PM Flag
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It's one of my all-time favorite movies. I can quote nearly every line. The best thing is that you can find yourself in the film at every generation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:13 PM Flag
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I agree. It's a great movie and you're 100% right that you can find something relatable no matter what. Not only from the parenting side, but also the dynamic between adult children and their parents, between siblings, etc. Fantastic film. But that last scene gets me every time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:20 PM Flag
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I know. It does get me, too. And then ... don't get me wrong ... it's a little outdated in terms of the family members. Cool doesn't turn it into something different. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:31 PM Flag
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I hope people know that Cool is a proper name here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:48 PM Flag
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And when the grandparents ask ‘Cool’ if he wants to come stay w them and live them for a bit ..... tears every time [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:23 PM Flag
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and when cool asks if his dad is ever coming back and the grandfather says "no" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:29 PM Flag
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Yes, such a good scene. Very well done. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:31 PM Flag
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Yes! So well done [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:35 PM Flag
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I also love the single mother and the dynamic with her kids, especially the teen daughter and her BF (Keanu!). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:33 PM Flag
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Keanu was the best in that movie!!!!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:34 PM Flag
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Yeah when Diane weist finds the sex photos of what’s her name —-before sexting! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:41 PM Flag
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"Does it bother you that it's me, or that I'm with Todd?" "Oh I don't know Julie there are so many things that bother me about these. Whoo hoo! There's one for my wallet!" I love that movie [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:49 PM Flag
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Well, I thought someone in this house should have sex with something that doesn't require batteries. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:27 AM Flag
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YES! Love the "one for my wallet" line! And the daughter, Julie, "...he touches me, and I quiver!" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:27 AM Flag
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"Well I thought someone in this house should be having sex. I mean with something that doesn't require batteries." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:32 AM Flag
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Yes, that scene. Also, the scene where Jason Robards asks Steve Martin's advice about what to do about his other son. Ends it by smiling at him and saying, "You worry too much." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:25 AM Flag
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And says "It never ever ends. You never do your touchdown dance." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:35 AM Flag
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Apparently I need to watch this movie [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:25 AM Flag
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“Oh yeah? Well if your mother’s so smart.. why is she sitting in the neighbor’s car?” [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:48 AM Flag
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Totally, no judgment here whatsoever. YES [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:46 AM Flag
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I’ve never seen it. Can I get it on Netflix or Amazon Prime ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:56 AM Flag
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I'm watching it on Starz right now, but I'm not in NY. I'm sure you can get it on Amazon or Netflix. Great movie! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:57 AM Flag
[ - ] Question for Hunter parents. Wondering if my son has a shot and if it’s worth having him prepare at all for the exam. He scored a 4.5 in math but only 4.27 in ELA. Will likely make cut off to sit for the test, but if your child got in - were the score much higher? 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:36 PM Flag
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He will make the cut-off. Mine had 4.5 ELA but only 4.26 in Math. Starts at Hunter on Thursday! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:46 PM Flag
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Mine did great on test but wasn’t chosen on essay. Boys are a little harder in that sense. Try talking thru ideas and strategies. Good luck!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:48 PM Flag
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think ela cutoff was about 4.1 our year [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:54 PM Flag
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OP. Thanks! Was curious if even with scoring high enough for cut off, if getting in was still a long shot. He’s admittedly not the strongest writer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:05 PM Flag
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my ds passed the test, but was not admitted due to essay. also, from what I hear - the assign lots of long papers and very focused writing. we did not prep cause was prob not best fit anyway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:13 PM Flag
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fwiw, the kids I know who got in were really great writers. Not necessarily math geniuses. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:59 AM Flag
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Mine has a 4.16 in ELA. Sweating this...dc is actually a good writer! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:22 PM Flag
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Good writers matter more [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:10 AM Flag
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np. Are the ELA scores at least somewhat predictive of the Hunter exam results? DC scored 4.36 on ELA but had 82 on the Mark Twain writing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:07 AM Flag
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No [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:55 AM Flag
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I would go for it. My DS was always a top student in school but actually dropped in his test scores 6th grade year. he got exactly the cut off for ELA and a bit higher in math. He got in. We have a friend who I thought was a sure bet (nearly perfect test scores and a top performer) and they got waitlist. No harm in taking the test and even working on the writing and/or math a little as even if he doesn't get in, it's not time wasted IMHO. GL! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:36 AM Flag
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People are always surprised at which kids Hunter accepts. It's usually not the "perfect student" type. Definitely go for it, but don't get over-invested. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:57 AM Flag
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Isn’t it 5th grade tests? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:24 PM Flag
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state test scores are fairly meaningless - more of an indication of attention to detail and diligence than brilliance. If you're above the cut off, stop worrying. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:57 AM Flag
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Obviously they are not meaningless. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:26 AM Flag
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there is a difference between a kid who scores a 2 and a kid who scores a 4. There is no difference in academic potential between one who scores a 4.1 and a 4.5. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:31 PM Flag
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Yes you have a real shot ! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:44 AM Flag
[ - ] DF got her chronically unemployed, absent-minded DH a job with a local theatre after-school program, in our town. He will be in charge of the day-to-day communications with parents about the logistics of the program, and performances (multiple casts, rehearsal times, etc). (more below) 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:33 PM Flag
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OP: This job has usually been done by high-energy, organized people, and when there is a communication problem, kids end up stranded, rehearsals missed, etc. DF has been sharing anecdotes for 10 years about DH's incompetence and moodiness. Dreading what the after-school program, will be like (DC participates) and how to address issues if they come up/. Already in the first email from him, the dates were wrong and two links for different ages groups were reversed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:36 PM Flag
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Sometimes people rise to the occasion. Give him a chance. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:48 PM Flag
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This. Don't create problems preemptively. Support your DF by being helpful to her DH. Is this a paid position or a volunteer role? Either way, over the years, I've received many, many emails from school administrators, teachers, camp counselors, coaches and other extracurricular activity leaders that include wrong dates, broken links, typos, and all manner of other errors. Send him a private email and nicely point out the errors. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 10:57 PM Flag
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OP: Paid job. DF's friends have been rooting for him and have extended opportunities (recommended for jobs, etc) but he has never lasted at them or missed the interview, etc. I am not looking for trouble, per se, just that this activity is historically already fraught with complications and I am dreading this season... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:15 PM Flag
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OP: I referred him to a friend for a project and he apparently bungled it to the extent the friend wanted her money back. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:27 PM Flag
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This. Sometimes depressed people feel they are worthless. Once they get going their initiative rears up and they can produce. Why are you so concerned? This is great first step! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:13 PM Flag
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OP: This activity has lots of complicated logistics--rehearsals move to different locations, weekend rehearsals are added for some roles at times, rehearsals and tech reherasals change times throughout the weeks near the performances. From the standpoint of a working parent trying to juggle after-school activities, I am nervous about having the liaiason be someone who I know personally and am privy to a long history of incompetence. Selfishly, it just adds stress for me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:26 PM Flag
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Nothing has even happened yet. The only one creating stress here is you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:29 PM Flag
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OP: True. Just the welcome email with the dates and links that had the incorrect dates and links. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:32 PM Flag
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Take your kid out of it then. Easy solution. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:29 PM Flag
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OP: That seems a little extreme. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:32 PM Flag
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Give me a break?? You seem pita mom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 12:33 AM Flag
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Find a different program. Problem solved. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:04 AM Flag
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If this is causing you dread I think you're too emotionally invested in the situation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.03.19, 11:28 PM Flag
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OP: It's just that it starts this week so it's on my mind. And I saw that DF posted on her