UrbanBaby

09.04.19, 01:13 AM General Topics
16 replies

Has anyone else ever been bullied at work? I get along super well with everyone at my small company except this one female manager who is often nasty and talks down to me. Not sure what to do. Just feeling kind of down because of it. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 09.04.19, 01:13 AM Flag

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are you really using bullied? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:14 AM Flag

This. Someone not being nice to you isn’t being bullied [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:38 AM Flag

+1 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.04.19, 08:18 AM Flag

I'm an HR leader and it's real. Bullies exist at all ages. Bullies generally don't outgrow this ugly problem. They just find new ways to bully in the adult world. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:46 PM Flag

Sort of. Anyone who is nasty to others is a total lame-o. Even worse when abusing position at work to make life unpleasant for the rank and file. This has everything to do with her and little or nothing to do with you. Frankly, I would consider having a direct conversation with her and asserting some boundaries. Let her know that you have taken notice of her hostility and ask if there is an adjustment you can make. Regardless of how she answers let her know that you welcome constructive criticism if delivered professionally. Document the day beforehand and discuss with your own manager in advance. GL. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:27 AM Flag

+1 [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:02 PM Flag

Totally different dynamic but there's an opposing counsel in one of my cases who is a bully. He sends me 5 paragraph long threatening emails once a week. I used to fear this weekly attacks but now I try to find humor in how transparent they are. He is about 20 years my senior, and while I'm not young I sound young on the phone, so he probably decided I was a young gal who he could push around. You have to try to turn it around and understand that she has the problem, not you. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:53 AM Flag

I can relate to this, many nasty emails from opposing counsel in a few cases right now. Makes me miss the old days when they had to send you a letter in the snail mail. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:59 AM Flag

That sucks. I have a young voice too. Sometimes it works to my advantage but lately I wish I had a much deeper voice. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.04.19, 04:00 AM Flag

Yes, when I returned from maternity leave [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.04.19, 03:06 AM Flag

Yes but you have to explain what you mean by nasty. Not everyone who isn’t nice to you is a bully. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.04.19, 11:41 AM Flag

I think it's pretty common, hence the show The Office. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:08 PM Flag

Have you spoken up? "I can't hear you Jayne when you speak to me in a condescending tone." Then walk away. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.04.19, 01:30 PM Flag

Yes, I have. It was horrible. It was someone who was much more senior than me and was essentially immune from consequences of his behavior. I was singled out, and to this day I have no idea why. My manager stepped in a few times (like when I was verbally harassed over email). Nothing, and I mean nothing, would make this person stop. I tried having direct conversations, kept contact limited to email, and nothing stopped it. I eventually switched roles within the company and still shutter years later when I think of how this person treated me. I think the best thing you can do is document everything, overcommunicate, and if you want - be direct. Ask person X - "hey, can you please not use that tone with me? If there is something that is bothering you i'd really like to discuss it." Do you have a rapport with your manager to get his/her support on this? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.04.19, 02:02 PM Flag

do the standard UB reply of "you sound fat" [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:30 AM Flag

Yes, in my first & second jobs out of law school. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:40 PM Flag