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09.05.19, 02:17 AM General Topics
28 replies
Ex has asked to switch weekends moving forth. He is resisting giving me a reason why he wants this. I don't mind doing this but his reluctance in giving me a reason is making me not want to.... Your thoughts? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 09.05.19, 02:17 AM Flag
 

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That's just being petty. If it doesn't make a difference to you, why be difficult? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:24 AM Flag
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Because I would give a reasonable reason if I were asking the same. Its about trust and transparency [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:26 AM Flag
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NP - you are no longer privy to the details of his personal life. Perhaps he has a new girlfriend who has opposite weekends as he does now. None of your business. YOu have to let go. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:29 AM Flag
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agree [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:30 AM Flag
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OP: Ok, I understand. I was just coming off from what I would do. I have always given valid reasons when asking for changes in custody schedule so wanted reciprocity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:34 AM Flag
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You don't owe him that now either :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:35 AM Flag
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Yes you are right [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:37 AM Flag
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Its still disappointing as it erodes good will [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:39 AM Flag
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It is a healthier boundary now that you are no longer together. if you are the OP (not clear) don't use the kids/visitation as a way to try to maintain a connection that is no longer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:41 AM Flag
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This! You do not need to know and should not want to know his business. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:46 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:38 AM Flag
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np: This is exactly right. I never provide reasons for my requests if they are reasonable. I also ignore his reasons unless they are exceptional (his parents unexpectedly coming to town/want to see dcs, etc). Our personal lives are none of each others' business. Healthier this way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:08 PM Flag
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How old are the kids? Does this switch affect holidays and bdays or are those set? In most custody schedules, who has which weekends resets several Times per year due to holidays and vacations. Is that not the case for you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 02:51 AM Flag
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OP: I really haven't looked at the schedule but the weekends resets after major vacations. It was just simply a show of goodwill to be forthcoming about reasons for request. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:16 AM Flag
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Maybe he wants to go away one weekend but doesn’t want to tell you. Are you in court? If so, he prob doesn’t want you to use it against him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:31 AM Flag
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It sounds like you might be trying to control him even tho you don’t have that right any more. Do what works for you. If it doesn’t work for you to switch then don’t. But you don’t get to use this to ask him personal info. That’s my opinion. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:34 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 06:26 AM Flag
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Me too. Do it if it is no big deal and don't if you have reasons. You wanting to know his reasons is not healthy for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 01:47 PM Flag
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Do the math on the weekends. What weekends is he trying to get? Holidays? Special events? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:02 AM Flag
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That or trying to sync up w new girlfriends kids’ weekends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:15 AM Flag
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OP: Just did, haha looks like he's trying to give me all the three day wknds or its a new girlfriend, which seems more likely. Then why not just be open about it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:27 AM Flag
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So whomever has the weekend also gets Monday if it’s a holiday? Do you have more than 50%? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:32 AM Flag
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*whoever [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 06:26 AM Flag
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Because it's none of your business [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:33 AM Flag
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THIS!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 06:26 AM Flag
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I would guess his current girlfriend has custody on those weekends or someone he is dating and he wants to have the same weekends free. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:31 AM Flag
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Or he wants to go away one weekend and doesn’t want to say that he’s going or where he’s going. Which he shouldn’t have to do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 03:36 AM Flag
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This. That is what my ex did. He wanted to do it immediately even though I had plans. I agreed but after I finished my plans. I don’t think he’d ask tonseitxh for a single trip. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.05.19, 12:36 PM Flag
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