• Filter the conversation
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] We have recently moved into a house owned by my in-laws. They live in a separate "apartment" in the same house (their own kitchen, entrance, etc). We like living there and us paying rent helps the in-laws because they don't have much cash and don't want to sell the house / move. We are the only ones who can rent from them because the house is not sufficiently separated. My issue is that they both are constantly calling out to me and coming up or through or whatever. Urgggggg. How to kindly let them know that I need expectation of privacy? I feel like I'm on constant alert. 73 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:10 PM Flag
»
Have DH speak to them [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:12 PM Flag
»
This. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:25 PM Flag
»
OP: dh tends to take their side vs mine [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:32 PM Flag
»
ooof. All the more reason not to move into their home. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:35 PM Flag
»
Np seconding [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:42 PM Flag
»
x1000 [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 10:28 AM Flag
»
this [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 11:00 PM Flag
»
Need to make him understand [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 11:32 PM Flag
»
Only solution [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 11:32 PM Flag
»
Start walking around naked. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:19 PM Flag
»
FIL will never leave. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:25 PM Flag
»
You both should be nudist then [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 11:30 PM Flag
»
I predict six months of misery followed by a move. It's nice of you to try this out to help them keep their house, but it would take a family with extraordinary boundaries to pull it off. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:19 PM Flag
»
She said that she likes living there. They have one issue. It can be talked about and fixed. You want to make a mountain out of something that may well work out -- op certainly sounds like a reasonable person [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:27 PM Flag
»
OP: any ideas of how to put it to them? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:28 PM Flag
»
It has to come from your dh and it has to be gentle. He has to tell them that they need to allow you your privacy and perhaps have them text you with questions and if they need to come up for any reason, to text you first. if there is no answer then y ou are busy -- i would think something along these lines. that would not insult them -- make it about separate households [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:32 PM Flag
»
OP: yup, I keep thinking "you could have just texted me with that" [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:34 PM Flag
»
They are old. They don't know. If you tell them gently, it will be ok. and if it isn't, than you can stay a year and move. Say something now as the longer it goes on, the harder it will be to correct. "We are so happy to live with you and are excited for extra time. But we are used to a little more privacy so can you text me if you have any questions and __________________for when you do_________________." Not sure what the issues are but put specific examples. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 11:03 PM Flag
»
Yes, she does, but I am more pessimistic about whether an elderly couple who feel like OP is living in THEIR house will comply. They will likely find it needlessly formal not to be able to pop in when they know the kids are home. I know my parents couldn't have managed it. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:28 PM Flag
»
OP: I don't even mind if MIL pops up when her son is home, it's the constant "Daaaisyyyy, are you up there?" during the day that's a problem. I don't really want to socialize. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:31 PM Flag
»
OP: I'm starting to get the feeling that you're right. Plus FIL keeps coming up and closing the blinds because the sunlight "damages the wood". Sigh. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:27 PM Flag
»
Np leave [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:43 PM Flag
»
No way. Poor boundaries. DH needs to stop it all right now. How dare FIL come into your home to do that! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:33 AM Flag
»
It's her home, but it's FIL's house. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:37 AM Flag
»
Yeah but separate apartments [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 02:49 AM Flag
»
Is the rent quite cheap for you? Are you saving money? This is the payment. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:35 PM Flag
»
This. It sort of is what it is, OP. And if this is your worst complaint, you are probably pretty lucky. No one's sick, you aren't changing anyone's diapers or helping them bathe. Your experience is probably the best available under the circumstances. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:40 PM Flag
»
I think this is the setting of a bunch of a 80s sitcoms. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:54 PM Flag
»
They sound like the Ropers! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:57 PM Flag
»
no everyone loves Raymond mom [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 11:04 PM Flag
»
Just what I thought. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 01:37 PM Flag
»
. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 11:00 PM Flag
»
Too Close for Comfort with Ted Knight! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 11:10 PM Flag
»
I thought of these and also Who's the Boss? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 01:52 AM Flag
»
Dh needs to say - we love living with you. We're happy to rent the place. And we're happy to see you often. However, we need a lot of privacy - as if this were a *seperate* house of our own. As if we were living two houses down from you rather than the same house. As if we were renting from strangers. As if we were renting from a formal landlord who doesn't drop in announced, or try to socialize during the day/night when we might be busy or doing private things. If you need to contact us please text first, as though we were living two houses down. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 11:21 PM Flag
»
They should sign the house over to you, and then they can pay you rent instead. It would give you more security. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 11:38 PM Flag
»
And them none. Many seniors have lost their homes with this move. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 11:58 PM Flag
»
Well, the seniors aren't the ones asking my advice. I would tell them to sell the house and buy a condo they can afford to pay for in full. Silly to keep a big, valuable house they can't afford. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:01 AM Flag
»
OP: this is what everyone wants them to do and what they should be doing but super attached to the house, especially FIL [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:07 AM Flag
»
They'll have to do it eventually, and it'll only get more challenging as their mobility worsens. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:37 AM Flag
»
OP: ITA - they are powering through as it is with FIL having major mobility issues - he can barely get up and down stairs and there are a LOT of stairs in this house. But the attachment to the house is more powerful than any health considerations. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 01:15 AM Flag
»
What if you framed it as "you raised your happy family here, and now it's time to let another family have that experience." [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 02:30 AM Flag
»
We recently started negotiating something similar. There needs to be calear conversation, ideally by your dh, about expectations. Without it people will become resentful. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 11:49 PM Flag
»
OP: Interesting. What do you think they would resent? Not having enough social interaction from my side? My FIL is totally fine, it's more the MIL. She's a big extrovert and is always looking to socialize. She does plenty outside of us btw but she still needs more. It's a bottomless pit. She's lovely but I'm an introvert so that makes it very challenging. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:00 AM Flag
»
Yes, those things can be tough. Start with the idea that it is your house. Ask to to image that it is really your space where they need to knock and respect. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:55 AM Flag
»
Lilly? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 03:02 PM Flag
»
"I would rather live on a toadstool and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion." [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 11:56 PM Flag
»
What's that from? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 03:01 PM Flag
»
Either Emerson or Thoreau. I can't keep their quotes apart in my head. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.07.19, 07:19 PM Flag
»
Ignore them. Tell them you are listening to podcasts with headphones. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:01 AM Flag
»
OP: LOL, pretty close to what I'm doing right now [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:06 AM Flag
»
What are your ages and theirs? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:35 AM Flag
»
they are early-mid 80s [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 01:17 AM Flag
»
Get locks [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 02:48 AM Flag
»
Can you literally just lock them out? Lock doors, etc? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:49 AM Flag
»
This! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:56 AM Flag
»
No, there are stairs but no door between the two spaces (they have doors they can close on their floor) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 01:13 AM Flag
»
maybe you could get a baby gate [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 01:55 AM Flag
»
Electrified. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 03:38 AM Flag
»
lol [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 10:30 AM Flag
»
+1 [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 11:00 PM Flag
»
Hah. Literally lol. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 01:38 PM Flag
»
We did this, except it was in a house we bought with my parents so that we could share expenses and help them out. It was very difficult. I had a very hard time with the lack of boundaries. Initially, they had a door to their apartment off our mudroom, but we didn't have a door. My dh had to install a door. Then, a year later after no results from multiple "boundary" conversations, he had to install a lock. We did it for eight years and I was stressed and resentful every single day. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 03:24 AM Flag
»
OP: hmmm, oh boy! How did this lack of boundaries manifest itself? My MIL literally comes up to tell me she's eating a peach. Or that the weather is changing. Or that she's going out now. Or that now she's back. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 04:36 AM Flag
»
Didn't Archie Bunker have a set up like this with his DD, Gloria, and her DH, Meathead? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 03:26 AM Flag
»
OP, put one of these on "your side" of the stairs. No matter how ugly, just buy one at target and put that thing up. https://www.target.com/p/5-1-2-ft-tall-classic-venetian-room-divder-4-panel-oriental-furniture/-/A-17302435?preselect=17257164#lnk=sametab [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 03:26 AM Flag
»
Do you have kids? If so it is incredibly nice for them. We lived in same building as my parents for 12 years and it had some issues but was amazing for the relationship with kids. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 10:39 AM Flag
»
BTDT. I agree that while great for the kids, as the replies show disastrous for the marriage -- and that isn't great for the kids! We live next door to my inlaws and that's too much like Everybody Loves Raymond. Without the humor, and commercial breaks :P There is no win here since her DH is the third wheel on the in laws instead of a team with his wife. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 03:01 PM Flag
»
You knew what you were getting yourself into. You will have to grin and bear it until something changes. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 04:45 PM Flag
»
Wear noise cancelling headphones and lock doors. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 08:11 PM Flag
»
Your DH needs to mention the idea that you giys are thinking of getting your own place. Explain that you love being so close, but you want the boundaries that having your own home has, like a door you can close, and no surprise visists. Your MIL will try and talk him out of it and he can say, wellmaybe we could add a door, decide on some boundaries, so we are less like roommates and more like next door neighbors. Let MIL think of how it could work. Have DH say you ll try it out until xmas, and see if its working. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.07.19, 12:25 AM Flag
»
honestly, you guys hold the cards because they cant afford the house if you go, so let them try to change to make it work. it wont be perfect, but you can improve it. #1 you need a door you can lock. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.07.19, 12:26 AM Flag
»
OP: love the next door neighbors vs roommates. that's exactly right! and not too offensive. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.11.19, 02:21 AM Flag
[ - ] DC's are back to school today, its getting dork out and there is a cold breeze through the windows. Bye, bye Sommer. So sorry to see you go 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:08 PM Flag
»
Autocorrect or maybe you should go back to school with the kids? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:38 PM Flag
»
Ah, yes, dork season. They bring the cold and dark. Nasty little dorksies. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 11:06 PM Flag
[ - ] DH and I are going into the city for a night. We plan on leaving 7 yo with grandparents. We could leave older two, but they may want to stay home. Would you think its fine for a 14 & 12 year old to stay at home for a night alone or bring them to my parents as well? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:49 PM Flag
»
Nope. To the grandparents [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:52 PM Flag
»
this [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 11:04 PM Flag
»
Do you mean overnight or for just a couple of hours? if overnight, then a hard no. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:56 PM Flag
»
no, a full overnight. but we will bring them to the grandparents 100%. Thanks all. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:05 PM Flag
»
Overnight? alone Nope. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:20 PM Flag
»
+. 4-5 hours, w g ma back up, fine. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:59 PM Flag
»
WTF? I wouldn't leave a 16 yo alone overnight, for different reasons, granted, but 14 and 12? No friggen way. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:28 PM Flag
»
Bring them all over. I worry about fire and such. There is no reason for them to be left alone. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:31 PM Flag
»
Can grandparents come to your house? That would be better for the older two -- they have all their 'stuff' around. Definitely too young to be left all night alone. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:49 PM Flag
»
This would be the best [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 11:04 PM Flag
»
Of course not ok. What are you thinking? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:56 PM Flag
»
Rare UB concensus. No. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:56 PM Flag
»
Like leaving the 6yos alone at the beach! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:44 AM Flag
»
of course it's fine! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 11:22 PM Flag
[ - ] How did the first day of high school go for everyone? My dd was terrified, but survived! 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:33 PM Flag
»
First day at HCHS (7th) - went well - I got "not too bad" which seems very positive for 7th grade. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:37 PM Flag
»
Tough for DD as well at Lag [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:44 PM Flag
»
Not sure yet--still not home from XC practice. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:50 PM Flag
»
Can't remember. Had mine in 1979. Hope I got my curling-ironed wings and blue eye liner just right! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:20 PM Flag
»
I had mine in 1981. I remember being happy about my flicked back hair. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:36 PM Flag
»
I'd say "what were we thinking?" but I bet the current stick-straight blow outs will look just as horrid at 30 years' distance. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:38 PM Flag
»
Of course they will. And in 2050 these kids will reminisce about the weird fashions of 2019. Lol. And complain about the kids of today, with their implanted computer chips and weird flashing tattoos and bad attitudes. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 11:18 PM Flag
»
I still wear blue eyeliner, lol! Love it! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:05 AM Flag
»
dd liked her teachers, but a problem dc she knows is in her class, so that's an issue. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 11:22 PM Flag
»
9-12 teacher here.I love the first day with freshman. In most circumstances you can see in their demeanor that they are scared, excited, eager. I have always had great first days with freshmen. I got them all on Google classroom today and I can tell already it’s going to be a great year. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 01:00 AM Flag
»
Pp-I hope that your ninth graders have a positive year and awesome teachers. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 01:01 AM Flag
»
DCs in same school K-12, so unfortunately will not have this fun and growing kind of experience till college. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 02:40 AM Flag
[ - ] My son’s third grade public school teacher sent home a welcome letter with some spelling and grammatical mistakes. I’m tempted to correct them and send back the letter. She has a masters in childhood Ed from hunter. I assume she will hate me if I send it back but I am super tempted. 26 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.05.19, 08:49 PM Flag
»
What were the mistakes? Tell us. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 08:57 PM Flag
»
It's a troll. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 08:57 PM Flag
»
I know. The Russian is here. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 08:57 PM Flag
»
NP: why would a troll write about 3rd grade teacher spelling mistakes? you're wack. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:20 PM Flag
»
OP: misplaced commas, as instead of at, a instead of at, tentative misspelled. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:00 PM Flag
»
dh says comma is usually style and not a mistake [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:49 AM Flag
»
Correct them and send it back? Come on. You can't be serious. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:01 PM Flag
»
She is serious. And don’t call her Shirley. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:46 AM Flag
»
Hunter should be capitalized. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:12 PM Flag
»
What about childhood? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:38 PM Flag
»
lol true. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 03:34 AM Flag
»
Do we get this post every year? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:17 PM Flag
»
NP: yes, plus the unsanitary posts. Good trollage type stuff. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:31 PM Flag
»
Yes [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 11:25 PM Flag
»
Master's [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:17 PM Flag
»
It’s ok by the time DC is an adult everyone will speak emoji [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:39 PM Flag
»
haha! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:49 AM Flag
»
Yes, please do that and report back to us on how grateful she was to you for your help. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:49 PM Flag
»
Sure, that's exactly how an adult should behave. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:38 PM Flag
»
Don’t [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 11:36 PM Flag
»
at a curriculum meeting, our childs teacher used the wrong verson of a word on a form (peek/peak). My heart sank, but it was an anomoly. She was the most incredible teacher. Keep your fingers crossed. keep your eye on your childs homework to see if she catches any errots [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:24 AM Flag
»
*anomaly, ugh. lol [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:25 AM Flag
»
Your post has several more errots. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:47 AM Flag
»
As does yours! Lmao! No judgement tho. Aren’t we all doing this on our phone while juggling other things? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 02:13 AM Flag
»
There is NO way this is real. If by some odd chance you ARE real, DO NOT do this. Wait and see if other letters or things go home with mistakes. If they continue, tell the principal or AP, and let him/her do that dirty work. He will make sure it’s anonymous. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:48 AM Flag
»
Absolutely do it! Then watch how your child will end up suffering throughout the rest of the year. In her mind your son is the child of a nasty beyotch. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 01:04 AM Flag
[ - ] If you are a professional and work for a company, how much downtime during the day do you have? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.05.19, 08:40 PM Flag
»
None. Eat at my desk while multi-tasking, etc. Goal is to be as efficient as possible and get home as soon as possible. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 08:43 PM Flag
»
Same at my old firm and I carried the tradition to my new agency. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:29 PM Flag
»
so so so much - i've been here 12 years, it's always been like this - i love it! Love my coworkers and we chat a lot - I leave and go to a class most every lunchtime - heavenly wouldn't trade this job for the world. Oh and I'm a lawyer and work three days a week. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 08:51 PM Flag
»
Where do you work and what kind of lawyer? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:31 PM Flag
»
Fluctuates. Some days/weeks, really busy. Other times, especially Fridays, I spend most of the day browsing/handling personal business and leave by 3-4 pm. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:03 PM Flag
»
Same, same. I think that’s pretty typical, especially if your job depends on other people or it’s project-driven. I do get worried when I have a lot of extended downtime though and start hunting for a new project. I could probably coast for a bit on my goodwill but I won’t get promoted or rewarded if I’m resting on my laurels. Being able to say you launched something new is what gets you noticed here, not just getting through the daily grind. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:45 PM Flag
»
it's super quiet today so I read a novel all day. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:39 PM Flag
»
Doesn't sound like you're a professional, who by definition would not be spending an entire workday reading a novel. Minimum wage clerk maybe? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:00 PM Flag
»
"By definition"?? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:39 PM Flag
»
Yes, a professional by definition uses their acquired skillset to generate income. Reading a novel is not doing that. Claro? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 11:45 PM Flag
»
np: I don't think that's the definition of what a professional is, that's the definition you just made up. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:14 AM Flag
»
it happens all the time at higher levels in govt., non-profit, etc. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:37 PM Flag
»
This. I work for a nonprofit and honestly, I could probably leave at 3 or come in 3 days a week during the entire month of August without any impact on workflow. But during other months I have plenty to do and sometimes bring work home. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:18 AM Flag
»
It fluctuates depending on my project load. Some weeks I could, in theory, read a novel all day. There are other weeks where I do basically nothing but work all day although I almost always take a lunch hour as well. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:14 AM Flag
[ - ] Need a dinner venue for 10 ppl for a corporate event post conference at the Marriott Marquis. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.05.19, 08:27 PM Flag
»
Can't help you w/ specific ideas but check out sixplus.com - concierge service for large group dinners, have used them to plan several work events and they're awesome. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 08:42 PM Flag
»
My first choice would be Bobby Van's Grill on West 50th (not the one on Times Square). The W 50th has a nice back room. You could also try Blu Fin at the W Hotel on Times Square. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 08:56 PM Flag
[ - ] Today I was observing my DC’s K class (mixed age 3-5) at a brand new school, and at the end of playground time outside, the teacher had a double-sink like thing, and told all the 22 kids to dip their hands in the same soap water and rinse in the same water, and wipe with 1 old towel with holes, 1 by 1. Isn’t it insanely unsanitary? Also my DC mentioned the other day they had snack outside, and they wiped the table and put food (apples and chips) DIRECTLY on the table. I’m wondering if I should bring this up or pull my DC out of this school. 76 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.05.19, 08:10 PM Flag
»
Wow, 3 year olds in Kindergarten? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 08:13 PM Flag
»
It’s a mixed-age class [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 08:15 PM Flag
»
Still, they must be highly gifted (at least you kid is) to be able to describe the unsanitary nature of snacks on a dirty table outside. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 08:17 PM Flag
»
Mine is 5 so not really! She likes everything clean. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 08:26 PM Flag
»
Then, pack some hand wipes for her. There are 21 other kids. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:42 AM Flag
»
Reminds me of a mom and daughter I saw at a museum cafe...the daughter is eating her sandwich up to her mouth so her hands don't touch the table cause the mom says the tables are germy. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:43 AM Flag
»
lol [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:06 PM Flag
»
I bet that this class has the fewest absences because the teacher is exposing them to germs -- good for her! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 08:28 PM Flag
»
This is really crazy. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 08:28 PM Flag
»
And I don't care if kids wash their hands before snack or not, but the putting food directly on the tables? I just can't go there. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 08:29 PM Flag
»
Yes and it’s OUTSIDE. it’s so scary. Should I pull DC out? Or at least discuss this w the teachers? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 08:31 PM Flag
»
I don't think it is scary but I think the school doesn't meet the threshold of my already lax cleanliness standards. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 08:51 PM Flag
»
I know. WWYD? Do I talk to the teacher, or the principal? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:00 PM Flag
»
just what is scary here? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:08 PM Flag
»
IT'S TERRIFYING!! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:40 PM Flag
»
Scary??? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:14 PM Flag
»
Not scary. Nothing scary about it. You know in a few years, dc will drop something at a baseball game and you will likely brush it off and feed it to them. The faster you get from where you are to there, the happier everyone will be [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 11:53 PM Flag
»
Please. Were these tables used in a morgue? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:42 AM Flag
»
you had me at mixed age in K. No 3 year old should be in a K class. And that sounds disgusting. This cant be a decent school. I'd be OUT [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 08:32 PM Flag
»
Mixed age K is not a bad thing. I’ve seen reputable schools with mixed age K. The sanitation situation concerns me more [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 08:35 PM Flag
»
Mixed age K should be 5 and up. Not 3 and 4 year olds. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 03:10 PM Flag
»
This. This is very strange [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:46 PM Flag
»
Montessori groups by 3 years, so a 3 year old will be working on his/her own, but will also have the benefit of seeing and being mentored by older kids. Maria Montessori won the Nobel Prize for her work. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:41 AM Flag
»
My kids go to a mixed age Montessori (age 3-6), and the 5-6 year olds are considered kindergarteners and have some separate items on their curriculum. But it is never collectively referred to as "mixed age kindergarten." [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 03:10 PM Flag
»
what school? (checks wait list) Definitely pull. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:07 PM Flag
»
Every single blessed school, public or private, SS or co-ed, is a germ vector. Deal with it. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:17 PM Flag
»
x1,000. At our public they go to recess then to lunch, no hand washing. I think the above method is at least something. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:34 PM Flag
»
yes, but if OP can't handle it and my DC is top of school wait list, would love if OP pulled as I have no trouble moving my grimy, germy squirmy DC into that class. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 02:20 PM Flag
»
It wouldn't fly with me (former PreK teacher). She should get a bench step so they can all stand at the sink. If they want to maximize time (which is what I guess this is about), She can walk around with a pitcher of clean water--get each kid to hold their hands out--later they get a squirt of soap--lather and then she can walk around again and pour water onto their hands. Or line them up in groups and do the hand wash. It's a PITA of course but has to be done. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:17 PM Flag
»
These kids don't have leprosy. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:40 AM Flag
»
Lol. Troll [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:24 PM Flag
»
Seriously, what school has an actual towel? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:35 PM Flag
»
No true story. The teacher has tattoos all over which I didn’t like either. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:58 PM Flag
»
Lol. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:41 PM Flag
»
NP: You cannot be a real person. You're taking issue with the tattoos? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 02:57 AM Flag
»
nnp. My DC's preschool teacher had two full sleeves of tattoos. She was the best preschool teacher ever -- the child whisperer. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:47 PM Flag
»
Definitely pull kid out of school for washing hands in the same sink. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:32 PM Flag
»
For sure! It's the absolute worst thing possible. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 10:42 PM Flag
»
hold up. Can someone explain how a 3 year old is in K? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:47 PM Flag
»
It’s common especially in Montessori schools etc. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:58 PM Flag
»
in other words, common in school where they dont have high benchmarks for kindergartners. Also, a reputable school should have more applicants/registrants than spots. If you have to fill the slots with 3 year olds, you are running a daycare/pre-K/K. Completely different developmentally. No 3 yaer old would be expected to learn the same as a 5 year old. Everyone i know who went to a Montessori school is BARELY EDUCATED. They even apologize for it in conversation "oops, you know, "montessori". Serious;y [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 11:02 PM Flag
»
Sure. Lol. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 11:19 PM Flag
»
If you don’t know the Montessori system, just keep your ignorance to yourself [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 11:56 PM Flag
»
meanwhile, your kids are experts at blocks but cant read by the end of K [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:02 AM Flag
»
Lol, my kid was able to read at three and yes montessori [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:21 AM Flag
»
Your child could read prior to Montessori, not because of it [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 01:42 AM Flag
»
Well, I guess cause you know everything... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:49 PM Flag
»
Montessori doesn't start before three.... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 03:15 PM Flag
»
exactly. her child could read prior to montessori, yet thats the proof that montessori is academically rigorous. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 04:50 PM Flag
»
You clearly know nothing about Montessori. The founders of Google credit their Montessori education for the creativity behind google. And, Finland, which has the best educational outcomes in the world doesn't start reading till age 7. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:39 AM Flag
»
Do you know any adults who attended Montessori school? Their education is lacking. It just is. I know many and they all say the same. The schools have definite strengths but something has to give. It’s not rigorous academically. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 01:44 AM Flag
»
Please. Google "Montessori graduates". The list is impressive. Maria Montessori was awarded the Nobel Prize for her work. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:47 PM Flag
»
I don't know a single Montessori kid who hasn't gone onto a top tier college and graduate school. Academic rigor has come to mean loading up on a crushing load of classes and being a grind...real rigor is being able to pursue learning independently, which is exactly that nature of education at the highest levels. American parents have been sold this crock about education. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:48 PM Flag
»
not my experience. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 04:51 PM Flag
»
Trying googling Montessori graduates. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 08:17 PM Flag
»
NP: You clearly know nothing about Montessori. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:37 AM Flag
»
My kids go to a mixed age Montessori (age 3-6), and the 5-6 year olds are considered kindergarteners and have some separate items on their curriculum. But it is never collectively referred to as "mixed age kindergarten." [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 03:11 PM Flag
»
Same. There are preschoolers and there are kindergarteners, and they are all in the same classroom. The older kids do "mentor" the younger kids to an extent, but the kindergarteners have separate curriculum as well. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 03:15 PM Flag
»
I wouldn’t think twice about this. I would say the school and you aren’t a match, but see if your dc likes it. If s.he does then let it gooo let it goooo [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 11:52 PM Flag
»
Please. Children need to be exposed to germs. Have read about antibiotic resistance? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 11:57 PM Flag
»
So you would like one teacher to fill up the sink for 22 separate kids, or have 22 individual kids wash their hands under running water...do you realize how much splashing and mess that would make with 22 3 to 5 year olds? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:37 AM Flag
»
Our kids were in Montessori (I'm assuming this is OP's situation). These kids were the healthiest of all cause they are constantly being exposed to the real environment rather than some sterile bubble. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:44 AM Flag
»
Are there bird droppings on the table? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:51 AM Flag
»
none of this would freak me out but my Kindergartner is getting cheese-its for snack and THAT is freaking me out [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 02:24 AM Flag
»
I think OP is crazy but I'm with you 150%. Slice a damn apple! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 02:58 AM Flag
»
You are the reason that the rest of us don't get to observe our kids' classes. Parents who nitpick over the most random things!! Donate some extra hand towels if this is your chief concern. For heavens sake. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 02:59 AM Flag
»
This. Or donate some hand sanitizer made by Belgian nuns from pure organic ingredients in a recyclable bottle. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:35 PM Flag
»
No, No, a thousand times NO! You have it all wrong about germs. There are HEALTHY germs. You are doing the children a disadvantage by having them wash away the good germs that will strengthen their immune systems. Constant cleaning and germophobia is increasing their likelihood of developing allergies. When's the last time you heard of a child dying because they played with a feather? Don't you understand that super MRSA originated in Japanese hospitals because they were overly clean? There is such a thing as being too clean and it is counterproductive and unhealthy! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 03:15 AM Flag
»
Good hygiene is important, but being a germaphobe could be harmful to your health. While it is still crucial to always wash your hands with soap and water after using the restroom and before eating or preparing food, excessive hand-washing and hand sanitizer may do more harm than good. Some researchers believe hand sanitizer overuse may be causing children to lose the ability to build up resistance to bacteria. This is one growing theory about the increase in number of children with allergies and environmental sensitivities. Samer Blackmon, M.D., an internal medicine specialist at Piedmont, supports this theory. “By constantly using hand sanitizer, you eliminate the bacteria that helps build up your immune system, allowing antibiotic-resistant bugs to enter your system and make you very sick.” [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 03:18 AM Flag
»
Yep, our kids rolled in dirt (and probably ate some), they are teens and I can count on the fingers of one hand how many times they've been sick. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:36 PM Flag
»
Rolling in the dirt= good germs. Communal hand washing with little kids who have questionable hygiene= bad germs [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 04:53 PM Flag
»
There are no good germs or bad germs. There are just germs. And being exposed to them isn't necessarily bad. But you're going to see the same e.coli and other coliform bacteria on unwashed preschool hands as you see in the dirt [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 05:24 PM Flag
»
This. However, you should stop trying to bring science and rationality into this thread (chortle).. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 08:18 PM Flag
»
Gross OP. I don't agree with most of the posters here. It's hard to "contain" germs in school (pre-K especially with so many toys and manipulatives), but they should at least try. Also, a good time to demonstrate independence in set care. This school may not be a good fit. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 07:04 PM Flag
»
^^self^^ [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 07:05 PM Flag
»
I am laughing so hard. I can't imagine having enough free time to consider pulling my kid out of a school for something like this. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 07:54 PM Flag
[ - ] I’ve become very friendly with a Mom who also is friendly with another woman with whom I had a falling out. She said our friendship is “secret.” I find this really rude. What’s the big deal? I can’t imagjne this third party gives a real crap and we have had some social interactions since then with no issue. Why am I such an embarrassment to my friend?... 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.05.19, 07:58 PM Flag
»
So immature right? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 08:07 PM Flag
»
I wouldn't want to be friends with anyone who needs to keep. my friendship a secret [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 08:10 PM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 08:15 PM Flag
»
I think it’s my friends invented drama. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 08:25 PM Flag
»
Barring no further incidents since the one - which she never heard of - I think it’s a stretch. But I could care less her opinion. Mutual friend’s Opinion is what hurts. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 08:28 PM Flag
»
Yup [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 11:37 PM Flag
»
This tells me that the other mom, the one you had a falling out with, must still hold a grudge, or speak ill of you if this new mom friend thinks it's such a big deal. Or, new mom friend is a drama queen. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 08:14 PM Flag
»
Friend is constantly gossiping to me about the 3rd mom. More like frenemy. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 08:20 PM Flag
»
Ooooh. Well then she's doing the same about you to the 3rd mom. Slow fade. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:14 PM Flag
»
Tell her, no, it’s nonexistent. Secret friendships are for preteens. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 08:27 PM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 08:30 PM Flag
»
Sounds lovely! Must be an UES thing... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.05.19, 09:06 PM Flag
»
Sadly UWS. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.06.19, 12:00 AM Flag
»
Seems like she values other friendship more [ Reply | More
]