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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Phoenix Karen got slapped after telling Native American women to go back to her country. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:17 PM Flag
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karen got slapped? Too much coolness to be unpacked [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:19 PM Flag
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just watched the video [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 05:13 PM Flag
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just watched the video [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 05:14 PM Flag
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You mean lady finally gave Karen what she deserved after she assaulted her first. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 05:17 PM Flag
[ - ] Which area/neighborhood is the best in Greenwich? We're currently living in a rental and our kids go to private school. There are actually some okay priced homes in Belle Haven... is that the "best"? What is the Millbrook Association area like? I like that it's close to downtown. I've heard to stay away from Byram but it looks lovely to me. Also considering Old Greenwich as I'd love to be close to Greenwich Point park. Would love some insights from people more in the know. Thanks! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:58 PM Flag
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It depends on what you want. Belle Haven is *gorgeous*, has it's own little beach/playground/park, water views, and the Belle Haven club is really nice and family friendly. Millbrook is very central, more walkable than Belle Haven, also has its own park and family friendly club, houses are less estate like (but there are still some big ones). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:06 PM Flag
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Belle Haven is very high-end, esp if you like the water (boating). Milbrook is lovely but has a crappy 9-hole golf course in the middle of it and lots of water throughout (ponds, streams), which is a negative for me. My favorite area is Deer Park, a private association of about 40 homes near town (between Lake Ave and North Maple), very private, great homes, good community. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:22 PM Flag
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Thank you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 05:06 PM Flag
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how about riverside? what is that like? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:37 PM Flag
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Riverside is fantastic, great sense of community, hottest area of real estate in Greenwich, lovely homes of manageable size. Best elementary school (of the 9). Easy to get to MetroNorth trains to city. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 05:29 PM Flag
[ - ] Is going to Puerto Rico for July - August an insane idea? Someone I know is renting out their apartment in Condado. The building even has camp for $200 a week 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:54 PM Flag
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That sounds awesome. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:58 PM Flag
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Nope. I am planning a trip to PR this summer as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:03 PM Flag
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hurricane season? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:19 PM Flag
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DO IT. That sounds amazing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:21 PM Flag
[ - ] s/o of two comments below about wanting the flexibility to quit your job. That has very little to do with your actual financial situation and everything to do with DH's feelings on the matter. Last year I made EIGHT PERCENT of our household income (and I have a 6-figure salary + bonus) - my DH would never in a million years agree to me quitting my job. OTOH, there are plenty of 1-income families whose primary breadwinner makes less than what I make. If you want to optimize for that flexibility, income is not the be all and end all. 65 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:38 PM Flag
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Well, DH's feelings on the matter often have a lot to do with how much money you have. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:54 PM Flag
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True, but my point is that that's all relative. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:12 PM Flag
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At one point DH made 10 times what I did but he was still not in favor of me quitting my job and it was just as well I didn't, I got a better job and he ended up being unemployed for a few months. We would have been screwed if I wasn't working at all [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:22 PM Flag
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Why would you want to quit your job? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:25 PM Flag
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I don't, which is fortunate [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:57 PM Flag
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What's DH's reasoning? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:26 PM Flag
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1) Financial security. A lot of his salary is bonus-based, which we never use for monthly expenses. If he lost his job, we'd have to dig into savings for living expenses, but I would be able to carry our mortgages and maintenance fee. 2) He wants a marriage of "equals" (don't @ me- this is his opinion, not mine. I know how hard it is to be at home all day with kids) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 05:06 PM Flag
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My DH agrees. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 05:09 PM Flag
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You are living beyond your means if you can't carry a mortgage withDH not working. I stay at home but when I worked I never made much. DH and I save a lot of money and while he was unemployed last year for a few months, it wasn't stressful financially. He makes at least half his salary from his bonus [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:43 AM Flag
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+1 I SAH for years and DH never made more than $200K. We managed to pay off our house. (No family money. Frankly, we're lucky we're not supporting any parents) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 01:27 PM Flag
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PP: I explicitly said I could carry our mortgages and maintenance fees from my salary alone. We would have to dig into savings for other living expenses, much like you had to when your DH was unemployed. Nowhere did I say it would be financially stressful, I am just stating mathematical facts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 01:41 PM Flag
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Very confused about how a SAHM could say “you’re living beyond your means if you can’t carry a mortgage with DH not working”. Definitionally, neither can you... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 01:44 PM Flag
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I think you might need an introduction to the idea of "joint finances" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 02:34 PM Flag
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Huh? My DH and I do have joint finances. The pp (I think OP) said if her DH lost his job, she could carry their mortgage and maintenance fee on her salary, but they would have to dig into savings for other living expenses. If you are a SAHM, then by definition, you cannot carry the mortgage/maintenance on your salary, so by your own definition, you are living above your means. Unless you misread the post and thought she meant they wouldn't be able to afford to pay their mortgage at all without DH's job, which I agree, would be living above their means. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 03:21 PM Flag
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I think having a job you like is important beyond just the financial reason. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:26 PM Flag
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yes i agree. obviously not all women want to work outside the home but for speaking for myself its the healthiest option (mentally) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:45 PM Flag
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are you able to balance home and work? I work, and agree that's good for my sanity, but I often feel like my DC get the short end of the stick. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 05:32 PM Flag
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Why does your DH not feel the same pressure? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 05:36 PM Flag
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Maybe I'm too type "A"? He's an involved dad, but at the end of the day I just care that things are being done well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 05:54 PM Flag
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so far its ok. i think will be harder as kids get older(theyre not in school yet) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:32 AM Flag
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My DH admires most women who work; he finds them interesting. He is not against SAHM when there is a need (SN kid, strong preference from the family, etc.) but in general, finds women who have something they enjoy doing outside the home attractive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:28 PM Flag
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But most people who work don't enjoy it. I know you're going to tell me you're the exception, but there is no denying MOST women don't work because it's just something they enjoy that they would do even if they didn't get paid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 05:00 PM Flag
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Agree with you; but he personally admires women who spread their horizons, and also women who don't expect their DH to be responsible for the HH finances. He appreciates there are, and should be exceptions, but in general, this is how he sees the world. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 05:08 PM Flag
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I think there is some truth to DH’s observations [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 01:34 AM Flag
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I highly doubt this. The men I work with have SAHW’s and don’t seem to admire or give a shit about the working moms [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 02:41 AM Flag
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Like women, there's men and men. Everyone's different. I work with thee kinds of men too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:21 PM Flag
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My DH is the same [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 01:50 AM Flag
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I didn't read the other comment you're speaking about, but this was an interesting post for me to read. I make under 6 figures, but DH makes 4-5X what I make, and I feel so down for my lack of financial contribution. Interesting to read about others also with small % contributions to HHI [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:38 PM Flag
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DH also makes 10x what i make and i also make a pretty decent salary (i mean not crazy money but 6 figures). i work for the personal satisfaction and i dont think i would be happy as a sahm (actually as per the last 3 months has shown i know i wouldnt be happy home all day). DH wouldnt mind me quitting might even secretly want me to, but hes cheap and he wouldnt pay for a fulltime nanny (we have 3 kids) or a cleaning person. i really need to have my own income and pay for what i want without having to ask for money. but this depends on the couple. i just know we would fight a lot over money and i prefer to have my own income. our accounts are separate. he pays all the major expenses and i pay for birthday gifts, stuff for the house, for the kids etc. works for us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:44 PM Flag
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That's a really surprising dynamic to me, considering he makes more than $1 million. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 05:20 PM Flag
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not ideal but i know who i married (re finances). at least major expenses are taken care of. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:34 AM Flag
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You have to work, because he keeps his money separate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 02:44 AM Flag
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Fully agree - DH and I both make high six figures and could live on off one salary if needed, but he would never agree for me to leave my job because he likes the extra income. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 05:19 PM Flag
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Make his life easier, [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 02:44 AM Flag
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We would be fine on my DH salary but he is super risk averse and would not let me quit a job that I clearly should have. It's interesting he is so persistent I work as he was raised by SAHM. I will always work because I enjoy it but having the support and flexibility of a husband who can support your ideas and dreams is big. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 05:19 PM Flag
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Whenever I read about these DHs on UB, I realize I probably take my DH for granted and love him that much more. I stayed home for YEARS when my DCs were younger and my DH was never anything less than appreciative and grateful for those contributions. I would have felt terrible if I thought he liked and admired me mostly for my job. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 05:20 PM Flag
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Not mostly, but why not let it be part of it? I would HATE to have a DH that appreciates me MOSTLY b/c I stay home with the kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 05:25 PM Flag
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and the OR would hate to have a DH who appreciated her MOSTLY b/c she works [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:43 PM Flag
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Correct, like I would hate to have a DH that would MOSTLY appreciate me for my currently young and hot body. That will go away. The point is that overall, people look at their partners as an overall "package" and feeling. There's different elements that add up to that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 04:04 PM Flag
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Same here. Sahm here but DH used to make 4x I did when I used to work but I stopped working once we had a baby and it was strange at first not making my own income and having to depend on him and I worried about the shift in power dynamic but thankfully it’s been good for the most part. Can’t say everything is on equal footing and not sure if that’s even possible to attain but DH has since gone on to make much more and find success so I feel lucky that we were fortunate enough to do well because if that weren’t the case who knows how things would’ve turned out. DH could’ve resented me for not working and being a drain on our finances, or if he micromanaged on finances, I would’ve been miserable. For our family, having one parent stay home is what we discussed from the getgo and what works for our family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 05:38 PM Flag
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Do you feel secure in the case of a divorce? Also, does DH still enjoy talking to you about random things, other than kids? No snark at all, but does he still regard you as his intellectual equal. Just curious. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 05:43 PM Flag
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NP. I WOH (well, normally I do) in an intellectual job, but honestly I'd probably have more to discuss with DH if I could stay at home and read (books, news, etc). He doesn't want to hear about my job! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 05:49 PM Flag
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But then my DH would be like "why am I working 12 hours a day" and you're going to the gym and reading books (other than taking care of kids of course)? And TBH, I'd feel the same way if he was home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 06:00 PM Flag
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I’m not worried about divorce and he doesn’t care about my earnings from before our marriage and pre-sahmhood and yes, we have a good relationship and DH confides in me for all new job/investment prospects and values my opinion. I’ve been supportive of all of his endeavors and I generally am not a big spender and very practical so he doesn’t worry about me and vice versa. We discuss all of our financial decisions together but I trust him 100% and he puts my name on all of our investments so everything is jointly owned. He’s also good to my side of the family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 06:35 PM Flag
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Generally not a big spender probably means that you DH would not be comfortable with you spending money that you don’t earn. It’s a tough dynamic - definitely not for everyone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 01:38 AM Flag
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That's a bizarre statement. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:43 PM Flag
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No, it means we see eye to eye and have a similar spending pattern. Don’t try to twist things to fit your narrative and to make yourself feel better [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:37 PM Flag
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I'm the OR, and yes, I would have felt very secure in the event of a divorce when I was SAH. Certainly no less secure than the other respondents who make like one-tenth of their DH's income. We're both frugal, live-waaayyy-below-our-means types, so I'd be fine on way less HHI. And I never understood this "intellectual equals" thing. My intellect hasn't really changed over the years, whether they were my working years or SAH years. I guess DH is smart enough to get that? Ironically, we probably had more to talk about during the years I was home because I was more well-read about current events/politics and had a lot of interesting volunteer work going on. Bitching about our respective jobs shouldn't be the only thing we talk about! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 06:39 PM Flag
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OP: My DH doesn’t think I wouldn’t be his intellectual equal if I weren’t working- if anything I would be more intellectual. It’s more of a power equality thing (totally separate from our marriage- I wouldn’t have married someone who thought my power in our relationship came from my income)- he likes listening to/reading about our earnings calls when the P&L I manage is called out for leading our growth. We don’t really talk about work that much, but he likes knowing that I’m capable of it, much like someone might like watching their spouse compete in a sport. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 02:13 PM Flag
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^^ that being said, I’ve strayed from the original point of my post. It was not at all meant to be SAHM vs WOHM. I was just making the point that if being a SAHM or having that flexibility is important to someone, she should find a spouse that has that same ethos (there are plenty of them out there), not just a high-earning one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 02:17 PM Flag
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Same here! I’ve been home a year because DH knew how much I hated my industry, he asked me to resign. It’s been life changing for all of us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 02:46 AM Flag
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I can quit my job if I want. I've also told dh that he can quit his job. It would not be ideal if we both quit at the same time but we've always had 2 incomes, make around the same amount, and are very frugal and have been saving roughly 1/2 of what we earn since we got married. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 06:46 PM Flag
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my dh and I consider ourselves a team and we decided to go with a very traditional division of labor model. It plays to our strengths and it works out well. Although we realize it is not the usual for our generation and certainly a privilege, though not without sacrifices. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 01:57 AM Flag
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Same here, I SAH (1 year now) he works. We’ve built up investments and properties during our marriage. Having one parent home is the biggest stress reliever. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 02:52 AM Flag
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Yes, I think it can relieve certain types of stress. But it depends on the person. I would personally be so stressed I'd go crazy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:29 PM Flag
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Agree. A lot of people have built walls in their mind or had them put there by other people. Those are very difficult hurdles to overcome. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:44 PM Flag
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We had a traditional division of labor for many years, and it was amazing. We both admit to feeling more frazzled and stretched since I've been back at work the last couple of years. I don't think it's enhanced our lifestyles or relationship. If anything, it just made our lifestyle more chaotic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:50 PM Flag
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My DH and I also consider ourselves a team, but with a less traditional division of labor model. We both work, we outsource housekeeping, and we share childcare (with some outsourcing). That being said, we are very lucky that I have such a flexible work environment. DH is often in the office until 10 or 11 at night, and even when he is home, he spends a lot of time in the study doing work. I would not want to raise kids in an environment where we both had that kind of work commitment. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 03:28 PM Flag
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DH here: I like my (highly technical) finance job (have been doing it for a long time) but when I think how much more time I could be spending with my kids, reading, exercising better and more regularly, pursuing hobbies, traveling - I would welcome an opportunity to retire early. My DW SAH (which was of course a mutual decision and right for our situation) but occasionally misses her job (which I understand), but if one day I can afford not working - I don't think I will miss my job enough to regret it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 03:26 PM Flag
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Thanks for mansplaining. We didn't really get it until you weighed in. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 03:58 PM Flag
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How is this mansplaining? He's sharing his POV. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:08 PM Flag
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Agree. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:35 PM Flag
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DHs are welcome to share their thoughts [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:38 PM Flag
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are there any men in this world that you don't dislike? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:40 PM Flag
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ILY np [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 01:51 AM Flag
[ - ] What is your generation and what traits do you possess that you would say are indicative of your generation? 76 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:29 PM Flag
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I'm a millennial and I take pictures of my food. I WFH (pre-covid) and demand flexibility and PTO above anything else. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:34 PM Flag
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I am Gen-X. I am direct,resourceful, and self-sufficient. I know all the best music from the 70s and have seen the best bands perform live. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:37 PM Flag
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np; Me too - Oh the concerts - I went to David Bowie's 40th birthday concert with guest artists - that was fun. Music really defined our era - I remember my freshman year of college - walking by dorms and you can hear Nirvana and Pearl Jam blasting out of windows :). We are also cynical - almost to our detriment. It does help with self-sufficiency - I can validate that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:48 PM Flag
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NNP: +1000 to this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:59 PM Flag
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This! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 02:07 PM Flag
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We grew up listening to our parents' records and oldies stations, not to mention our grandparents' big band/standards. Sha Na Na, Happy Days, American Graffiti popularized 50s music for us when we were little. In kindergarten, Girl Scouts and on through elementary music class we sang 60s folk music. And then, of course, we had all of the popular songs on the radio and MTV. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:04 PM Flag
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Yes, I remember digging through collections of original Beatles albums when I was 7 in the mid 70s. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 02:08 PM Flag
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same! Born in 74' My early childhood was the amazing music of my parents generation that they blasted on their record player (Beatles, Motown, Sonny & Cher) combined with Queen - as my older cousin loved them. That's a great start already, no? Then the magnificent 80's came and we can see our favorites on MTV- so many fun boppy songs encasulated into my beloved Duran Duran. Just as I thought I was cool New Wave kicked in and Depeche (still love them), The Cure, The Smiths / Morrissey happened (also lucky there!) which led me to discovering David Bowie who influenced all of them + The Pixies who influenced all grunge IMHO. By the time College came around - College Radio became mainstream, things got harder and more meaningful. Also, to add - hip hop was emerging and f'n incredible!!! and then 2000 hit... What the effin hell Britney? My 13 year old son listens to Low Fi electronic beats and thing that's good music (Face Palm) - For this generation music isn't as good or as seminal - IMHO. Maybe I'm old. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 05:27 PM Flag
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1973 here and agree 100% with all of this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:39 PM Flag
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I photograph my food too (not millennial). :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:37 PM Flag
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I take pictures of my food too. Not for social media. I just like looking back at them and remembering what great meals we had. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:39 PM Flag
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Yes! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:42 PM Flag
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PP: I don't do restaurant pics, but I will take pics of bread and pastries that I make and those get gramed #homebaker #gettingbaked [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:47 PM Flag
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I am elder millenial and have many of these traits [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:21 AM Flag
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I'm Gen X and have been thinking alot about this in the past week. A lot of times I'm stereotypical of my gen: cynical and slow to act until I have all of the facts. A big part of this is growing up (and coming up in the workplace) in the shadow of a super large, powerful/vocal generation. When we were younger, our voices and contributions felt like a drop in the bucket, so we had to work hard and troubleshoot/investigate shit on our own, with no help from above (and no help from technology early on). These past few weeks I've been more explosive and vocal than I ever have been in my life. I'm so proud of the younger generations that are taking the wheel with confidence, and finally being HEARD. I'm learning to go off my gut more and be more confident. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:47 PM Flag
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Interesting. I am Gen X through and through and I am slow to act until I have all of the facts and even once I do have all of the facts I am often very cautious in timing and executing decisions. I did not realize that was a Gen X "thing." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 06:37 PM Flag
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Not sure if it's a cited thing in pop culture/media, but having worked so closely with millennials and now gen z, I notice they seem so much more empowered than I ever was - will leap right into anything, take risks. And the Boomers before us took charge... but held the reins for so long that we could never join in. I know everyone curses the "participation trophy" generations, but if anything, I feel like it might have made them feel like they have nothing to lose? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 08:36 PM Flag
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Good point, I think you're on to something. I'm 57, so cusp of GenX but technically a BabyBoomer. All of the above rings true to me... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 08:53 PM Flag
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Remember in the 90s, we were labeled the "Slacker Generation" - it wasn't that we were lazy, more like powerless. I see it all now in hindsight. Like, why bother having an opinion if it's just going to get shat on, if there's no place for you at the table (thinking of when abusive bosses were so acceptable, it was a cliche). It's an absolute terrible way to be - like forced apathy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:36 PM Flag
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Same - I'm 44 and feel very much this way. Speaking up has never come naturally to me but I've been more vocal and want to continue to be. I'm also very inspired by and proud of younger people - we should really support them, they can change things. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:17 PM Flag
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Same , always figured shit out myself. The younger gen, can not do the same. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 03:10 AM Flag
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Very interesting [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 02:01 PM Flag
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I'm GenX and when I left home for college and grad school, I never lived at home again. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:51 PM Flag
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Is that a Gen X thing? I'm a Millennial and I did the same. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:54 PM Flag
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+1, however a lot of millennials did "boomerang" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:57 PM Flag
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really, I know so many millennial, including 2 nephews who live at home in their mid to late 20s. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:56 PM Flag
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PP: Yep, I moved home the summer after college because I had surgery scheduled in August, but by September I was off on my own and have not moved back. This was in 2011. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 06:46 PM Flag
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Boomer here and did the same thing. this used to be normal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:01 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 06:10 PM Flag
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Gen X here. I don't see any shame in going home at any point in life, but it never would have occurred to me or to my friends when we graduated from college. It was just so different then. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 06:27 PM Flag
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I went home for a year to save money (to be able to move to NYC). It was so shameful for me when all of my friends were getting their own places. And my parents (while welcoming, of course) teased me about it. It just wasn't done among the middle class college grads I knew. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:44 PM Flag
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I moved out at 17 and never went back. However, we need to acknowledge that COL is WAY higher now. My apartment in Philly in 2007 was $500/month! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 06:47 PM Flag
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But so are salaries. My first NYC apartment in the West Village was $844, and I made $24K. It was a dump, and a glorified studio (disguised as a 1br) and I had to share it with two friends to afford it. But being able to move to NYC with basically nothing (grateful for the support throughout my education, but none of us had any family money or financial help after graduating) and live in Manhattan was amazing. And back to COL/salary: I just hired someone with barely 1 year experience, and our corporate HR said the minimum salary we could offer was $60K. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:56 PM Flag
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I don't think that's true though. Salaries have not risen in relation to housing costs when you factor in inflation. Someone making $60k in NYC is still going to have to live in a tiny apartment with one or more roommates. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:19 PM Flag
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https://www.bkreader.com/2020/01/19/unaffordable-nyc-the-rising-cost-of-calling-new-york-city-home/ "In 2019, New York City Comptroller Scott Stringer released the Affordability Index, shining a spotlight on the cost of living in New York City. According to the report, between 2005 and 2017 in New York City, basic costs like housing, transportation, childcare and food had risen at nearly twice the rate of incomes." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:21 PM Flag
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Same here! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:12 AM Flag
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Same (gen X here). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 02:01 PM Flag
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I’m a cusp Gen X/millennial (1981) so I think I have traits of both - reliance on technology, prefer texting over talking on the phone, spend a good amount of time on social media. But on the other side, I wasn’t coddled, I’ve had a job since I was 15, I moved away from my hometown after college and never looked back, I started off working crappy jobs and worked my way up, I never expected anything to be handed to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:00 PM Flag
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+1 but slightly older 1977. We are the generation that grew up without technology and had to adapt quickly to be relevant. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:53 PM Flag
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Yes! I remember dial up AOL lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:52 AM Flag
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+1 b.1965 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 01:44 AM Flag
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who even calls? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:21 AM Flag
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1981 too https://notablelife.com/xennial-millennial-definition/#:~:text=Xennials%20possess%20both%20GenX%20cynicism,early%201980s%20to%20late%201990s "Xennials possess both GenX cynicism (not their pessimistic) and Millennial optimism and drive" true of me :) cont'd [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 03:00 PM Flag
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False: I eat avocados (was in my yard in California). I can take or leave social media, cell phone and tech -- to the extreme. I remember Star Wars. I did TelNet. Heathers, Empire Records and Dazed and Confused never heard of them. Saw but would not say seminal The Goonies, Jurassic Park, Clueless. Maybe if I heard this played it would resonate but just reading I don't know what Oasis and Blur are, and would not say I LOVED Nirvana probably because I got what they were saying. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 03:04 PM Flag
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True: You didn’t get your first mobile phone until your late teens. You used a dial-up modem. I remember Napster but don't recall having an account or using as my lack of music knowledge may demonstrate. You had a MySpace, ICQ or MSN Messenger account ALL of the above. I also TelNet but that's probably more of Gen X. I played cassettes because that's all my car had. I had a CD player. I don't remember a walkman. I also don't remember making mix tapes. You had or still have a Hotmail account. You can remember when you first heard about Google and Facebook, but there was always internet — even if it just contained an encyclopaedia. Wow I would have gone for earlier search engines and social media networks than that! Is that Gen X? You listened to Blink 182, Incubus, The Offspring and Spice Girls however Spice Girls seemed too young for me. Grunge? I tried it, had friends that did, but didn't appeal to me. Also my first serious boyfriend in highschool was at the Littleton shooting so that's what I associate with grunge. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 03:10 PM Flag
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9/11 was more SSDD. Wondering what other xennials would add to this article? Me: fall of the Berlin Wall, Gulf War/Desert Storm my Dad was in middle east then, second largest volcanic eruption in human history I lived in SE Asia then, Jane Fonda aerobics fad diets bright neon spandex, smokers lots of smoking, Calvin Klein underwear, Starbucks, I idolized prep and was accepted to Princeton but couldn't afford to attend, EarthWatch, GreenPeace, super models, Linda Hamilton, deep voice = womanhood, DNA used criminal justice, Chavez but I lived in Venezuela, George Senior is my favorite president in my lifetime, Ross Perot, Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska, Baywatch barely recall, Simpsons, actually I remember a lot of excellent TV content and family time watching TV, imperfect leaders like Mandela and Clinton and Princess Diana, Bosnia, Los Angeles riots, OJ simpson, Waco, Dolly and cloning, JFK jr death, Y2K, MTV, VH1, pop up videos, more than one wall street crash ($1trillion in 1987, dot com bubble burst, etc), AIDS and LBGTQ, Rwanda genocide, Ireland peace, Kosovo, Congo, WTC, Oklahoma city bombing, Atlanta olympics, Quebec trying to leave Canada, California legalizing pot, Margaret Thatcher (after watching The Crown I appreciate her even more now), USSR, decolonization of countries and their prosperity rapidly advancing an example is Singapore, Hale Bopp comet, ISS starts a scientific and political achievement, mapping our DNA starts, valley girl aka Clueless, chunnel, assisted suicide, Lorena Bobbitt (between that clinton, sexting, homosexuality, etc. sex seems like it was a casual topic of conversation), Mother Teresa, Tiananmen Square and other examples of China's cruelty, Tonya Harding... this is getting TLDR [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 03:34 PM Flag
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I'm a Millennial, and besides being a moderately heavy social media user, I don't think I have many traits of a stereotypical "Millennial". However, I don't think I'm particularly special- IME, I never found many of the stereotypes about Millennials to ring true of my friends/colleagues. The only stereotype I think is true that I have avoided out of sheer luck is the student debt burden. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:08 PM Flag
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Gen X - my ironic sense of humor, taste in offbeat films and music. Not sure if generational, but I am really not impressed by status, dressing in suits, cubicle work environments, or face-time for the sake of face-time at work. I was underemployed through my late 20s. I am also single and sought a very specific type of partner. I am friends with a lot of baby boomers but really can't handle dating within that age group and have preferred men within my own. Since I am almost 50 and single chances are I won't meet one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:29 PM Flag
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^also a genX thing - the feeling that Baby Boomers won't move out of the way at work. I have been called "young" up until this year by my Boomer boss and I am 48! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:31 PM Flag
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Boomer who posted below: Do you think Boomers should quit their jobs because of their age? Some of us are in our early 60s and don't want to retire yet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:34 PM Flag
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NP: It's not about quitting - I can't speak for PP, but for me, "move out of the way" means to be willing to yield to others' way of thinking, even if they're younger/less experienced than you. I'm feeling the crunch as a 46 year old woman in a young industry... as soon as I learned how to be less stubborn and accept change I started feeling less threatened. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:13 PM Flag
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^case in point, companies/managers suddenly realizing workplace flexibility, working remote, etc. isn't a bad thing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:15 PM Flag
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Hi - I am the NP - What happened to me was a mix of classism (I worked in museums and higher ed), being stuck up about my state college, and ageism from the Boomer bosses I've had. If you asked them they would probably say they mentored me but they literally would comment on how young I was constantly, tell me I'd get my turn, and be affronted when I'd leave a job for more $$ (we are talking I made around $50K into my 30s with a masters). My boss right now is 60 and I am 48 she will still say things like you're still young and wondered if I wanted to go for a PhD now! I explained I am tired, have a kid and aging parents. As far as dating, I dated a lot of Boomer men on Match, etc. So sick of hearing their good old days stories, and their assumption that I know nothing is as strong as that their music was the besr. It's a type. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:01 AM Flag
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classism is rampant in museums and higher ed, which is why when people say any state univ will do, I have to disagree. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 01:45 AM Flag
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No way- do what you feel is right. I am very inspired by people in business, politics, and entertainment that go on forging ahead like they are still in their 30s and they are pushing 80! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 02:04 PM Flag
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Baby Boomer: I am less tech-savvy than my millennial co-workers (but I try). I frequently have to look up acronyms that people use on this site. I start out emails with "Hi" and never "hey". I've gotten used to "hey" but have had trouble getting past the idea that it's rude to say "hey" to someone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:29 PM Flag
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GenX: introspective, love music, cynical, self-sufficient (remember very little parental supervision growing up). Feel like I forever will have a bit of teenage angst. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:41 PM Flag
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I think we were the last “benign neglect” generation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:55 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 06:11 PM Flag
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Yup - I think this is also why we have such a tight grasp of pop culture (especially sitcom references), from the shared experience of being raised by TV. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 08:38 PM Flag
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same!!!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 05:14 PM Flag
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Me too - my mom was a full time mom, but she was always in her room with a "headache". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 05:23 PM Flag
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LOL - same. SAHM but felt like I spent 95% of my time at home playing alone or watching TV. Yet I felt secure and loved and happy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:10 PM Flag
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This is me. Latchkey kid, grew up making my own breakfast, doing my own laundry, the tv was my babysitter [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 06:33 PM Flag
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Yup. My sister and I were loved, but not the obsessive center of my parents' lives. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:13 PM Flag
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Was your mom drinking a Tab (sometimes with rum) with the neighbor moms while you were running the streets doing Evil Kneivel stunts without helmets or Wrestlemania jumps off chipped (probably painted with with lead paint) metal playground equipment at the park two streets over? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 04:04 PM Flag
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or: Definitely broke my nose doing some GLOW moves with my siblings lol! No clue where my mom was when it was going down... probably just reading a book upstairs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 05:04 PM Flag
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^meanwhile I haven't read anything but children's book in 7 years [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:00 PM Flag
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https://twitter.com/NewOldKaren/status/1241484217386782722 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 01:03 PM Flag
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Same [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:07 PM Flag
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Gen X: distrustful of authority: which came in handy as I started wearing a mask everywhere in late march when CDC and WHO said you don't need a mask [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 06:01 PM Flag
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Me toooooo! Gen-Xr, who wore mask from the get-go, while some sneered. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 04:53 PM Flag
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Gen-X here: I am not cynical but I do not trust authority. I am optimistic and sincere. I hate 'irony.' And I feel in my heart I was a child of the 60s in that I am very liberal socially and believe in radical change and protests. SUPER resourceful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:02 PM Flag
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Gex-X: "Selling out" as in profiting from your fame, or allowing your fame to be used to support corporate wealth with no values used to be a VERY BAD and would get you kicked out from ever being considered "cool". I think Pearl Jam taking on TicketMaster was heroic at the time, and would be seen as completely confusing to any generation after... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:15 PM Flag
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DH and I laugh about how we used to hyperventilate about Starbucks coming to Wicker Park (Chicago). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:14 PM Flag
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Gen X: I have issues with authority. I’m definitely cynical. I’m very resourceful. My parents are boomers and drive me nuts a lot. I’m finding myself getting irritated that boomers are still running everything politically and won’t step back and retire already. Locally, a huge factor in voting is whether there is a good candidate that isn’t a boomer. I even voted against my own FIL in a city council election in favor of a gen x’er. I listen to lithium on SiriusXM but I also love 70’s music. I hate labels and people who are showy with wealth. I smoke a lot of weed still. I just don’t understand why people can’t be nice and get along, fighting makes me uncomfortable and although I can stand up for myself, you have to be doing something super shitty for me to care and say something. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 03:47 AM Flag
[ - ] I posted a few days ago about looking into the UWS as I am exhausted at looking at places on the UES west of Lex and don't really want to be east of Lex. Someone said that the desirable parts of the UWS are more expensive than anywhere on the UES -- where are the desirable parts of the UWS? I'm worried I might be looking at the "undesirable parts" because nothing is more expensive than other comparable places I've seen on the east side. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:21 PM Flag
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Central Park West I imagine [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:43 PM Flag
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Are school zones a concern for your search? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:47 PM Flag
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Yes- no DCs yet, but we will have them, and unsure if they will go public or private. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:50 PM Flag
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PP: Many people want to be in school zone for ps 199, 87, and 9 with 452 and 166 also seen as good. In general, CPW, West End, and Riverside are desirable all the way up to Morningside Heights but the lower you go, the more desirable, with an extra premium on the school zones mentioned above. For the other blocks, it changes block to block, but generally below 86th street they are all "desirable" with a few exceptions (83rd between Amsterdam and Columbus, for example). Above 86th street people start to get picky about public housing complexes, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 05:19 PM Flag
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Thanks, this is really helpful! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 06:50 PM Flag
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NOTE - PS 452 moved south. PS 166 is in a less desirable zone. Regarding the UWS, here are some guidelines: The West 70s tend to be the most prized. The high West 60s include Lincoln Towers which has certain benefits like the much loved ps 199. Most loved public school zones are ps 199 and 87. The West 80s are generally decent with some exceptions. The areas that are not as appreciated are the West 90s on up, except for RSD and WEA and CPW. (CPW up to about 96th) Amsterdam is a truck route and has loud traffic. Columbus stops being particularly nice north of 82 St. UWS in the 90s is much gritter than the W70s. The other poster is correct about public housing affecting values and zones. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 06:52 PM Flag
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Don't worry about school zones. By the time your DCs are ready for ES, all the publics will be lotteries, and they'll all be equally mediocre. If you're concerned about investment value, in fact, you're better off shorting school zones that are currently considered good, and going long in lousy school zones. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 06:24 PM Flag
[ - ] This is definitely my dream house. Anyone else? I think it's beautiful. 34 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:05 PM Flag
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http://amberinteriordesign.com/project/client-bu-round-two/ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:06 PM Flag
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Wow, yes. 100% with you. Love it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:16 PM Flag
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Good taste. I like it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:30 PM Flag
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Love it! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 05:57 PM Flag
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OMG you made my day. This goes on my Vision Board. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 04:24 PM Flag
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That's DH's dream home for sure. I like super traditional. He likes traditional, but also modern- this is exactly what he would think is a "good compromise" (but is really just 100% what he wants and 20% what I want) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:23 PM Flag
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I like super traditional too. Do you have pictures of homes you like? I live in a 1br but I can dream. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:41 PM Flag
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https://www.architecturaldigest.com/gallery/georgian-fashion-slideshow - I don't love everything they did, but I swoon over the dining room every time [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:49 PM Flag
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That dining room is beautiful. Do you have young kids? DH says super traditional is not compatible with kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:55 PM Flag
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I don't yet. One of the things I like about traditional layouts though is that all the rooms are separate spaces so you can close/lock doors until kids are old enough to understand. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:10 PM Flag
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Not my style at all. So stuffy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 05:46 PM Flag
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Way too trendy. It's going to feel extremely dated in just a year to two. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:25 PM Flag
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I don't think so [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:33 PM Flag
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All of those brass fixtures! And that marble surround on the tub. Very basic bland blah. It reminds me of those virtually staged Brooklyn condo building prospectus ads that crow about the amazing views of Manhattan. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:00 PM Flag
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Love. Thanks for posting. I can dream. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:27 PM Flag
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I would want a slightly more formal living room, but love the rest. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:30 PM Flag
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Oooh. No. Don't like the cathedral nature of the entry or the chicken wire door. Too much natural wood, brass and marble in the kitchen. Bar stools are so uncomfortable without backs. Breakfast nook looks hard and uncomfortable, same with the tile. Everything's too beige and boring. Hate the curtain rods so high over the windows. Dining room table is too utilitarian and likewise, too uncomfortable. Hate all the played out light fixtures. One bathroom has a very weird vanity. And the other bathroom looks medieval. You'd cut yourself on that sink. Other than that, it's great! ;) I DO like the giant buffet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:35 PM Flag
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Lol... you are quite the party pooper! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:37 PM Flag
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You're welcome. Now, I'm off to kick some puppies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:55 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:34 PM Flag
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Love this comment. Agree with most of what you said but was too lazy to go into detail in a post. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:40 PM Flag
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I like the fixture In the entryway but otherwise agree on the lighting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:55 PM Flag
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ITA. Space looks airy but hate all the wood [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:21 PM Flag
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It is really beautiful... and super expensive... Just the furniture and furnishings are probably over $1M. Always love the Pierre Jeanneret chairs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:36 PM Flag</