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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Talk to me about shared custody? Is it hell or exhilarating freedom or both? It looks like we're heading toward 50/50 custody as part of this divorce. STBX-DH is a lousy deadbeat human being but the kids seem to love him and want to spend time with him. It's really hard for me to process not seeing them every day but I have to get out of the marriage. Anyone been here and done this? 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:42 PM Flag
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Watching. Haven’t left H b/c can’t imagine not seeing my child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:19 PM Flag
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I have dcs 80% of the time and it is exhausting. Divorced 4 years. Dcs do not like going back and forth, but have gotten used to it. I recommend staying together, if possible. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 04:41 PM Flag
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I have 50-50 custody and it's not easy. Pre-quarantine I would schedule all my work trips and dinners when I didn't have the 3 dc. That really helped. Now it's tough because there's nothing going on. My dc are 8, 10, 12 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 04:53 PM Flag
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Life has been great since the split. We had 60/40 on paper but the kids (teens) change it based on homework needs, afterschool schedule & his ability. Ex was a fairly deadbeat dad while married too. Ex was afraid of losing the kids in the beginning and wanted more time which didn't happen. Since the beginning I encouraged the kids to spend time with him, and sometimes either give him the major holidays or split it with him depending on occasion (i.e. his family Thanksgiving reunion, or I had the kids abroad for big summer trip). Ergo, he's not insecure about losing kids and doesn't demand time. We split when the kids were entering middle school and I didn't bother hashing out custody too much with him because I knew this would happen. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 05:55 PM Flag
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(cont) Joint custody is more like 80/20 in practice, maybe even 90/20. One kids hates sleeping over there because of the filth. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 07:35 PM Flag
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OP: Wow. This blows my mind. I hope I can find peace like you have [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 01:36 AM Flag
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This is going to be shocking, and I wouldn't categorize my husband as a deadbeat, but I left the family home seven weeks ago. My dc are 13 and 15. DH is now doing what I did. He has 100% custody. I'm writing, learning, and growing instead of raging inside. DC are in good hands. And DH and I aren't divorcing now. We date once a week. This is my midlife crisis. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 05:56 PM Flag
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You’re not seeing your kids at all? Seems like they’d feel abandoned by you. Glad you’re growing but [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 06:02 PM Flag
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I'm sorry you were raging inside but you are an adult and need to find other ways to cope without abandoning your children. There is no way this doesn't impact on their development. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 11:27 PM Flag
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They're 13 and 15, how is this different than sleepaway camp [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 01:01 AM Flag
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I'm not trying to hate on your midlife crisis. Sounds like there was a lot going on on there and you must need this. But in general I think people over-parent and that's the biggest problem. I was exhausted too when dcs were small but by age 9 or so, I just started ignoring the hell out of them. I work, I read, I walk with friends, I watch my own TV. I make sure there's lots of home-cooked food for dcs and we eat dinner together every night, I go to all the games, I take them shopping, I chauffer them to friend's houses and activities, we talk every day. But for the most part they do their own thing and I do mine and I'm not feeling burnt out but they know I'm here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 06:38 PM Flag
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+1. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 11:07 PM Flag
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This is good advice [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:58 AM Flag
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We’re 60/40 for 12 years now and I’ve always hated it. XH is a total ahole and deadbeat. So many problems over the years. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 02:53 AM Flag
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OP: I'm so sorry to hear this. Can you tell me examples? Like he doesn't take them when he should, or stuff goes missing, or ...? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:57 AM Flag
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^ Does your XH have a live in girlfriend? Now that your kids are teens are they still sticking to the 60/40? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:58 AM Flag
[ - ] Hey, Nutrition Moms: What is the absolute healthiest and best breakfast that you can start your day with? 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:35 PM Flag
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I'm not a "nutrition mom" but when I eat hardboiled eggs with cottage cheese and fruit, I feel full for a long time and it's healthy and light in calories. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:46 PM Flag
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You have a good point. Protein is important. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:02 PM Flag
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how important? do you know anyone suffering from protein deficiency? this obsession with protein is scientifically unfounded. Americans eat the double amount of recommended protein and are the sickest population in the world [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:34 PM Flag
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I think you are misunderstanding. The protein is important because you feel full for much longer if you eat protein. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 04:14 PM Flag
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This, and then you end up eating a lot less fat when you start the day this way. You can get away with skipping lunch and eating an early dinner. And eggs are good cholesterol for the record. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 04:27 PM Flag
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I assume by "protein" you mean meat and not beans. Any meat is almost half fat, including saturated and transfat naturally occurring. The leanest chicken breast is 23% fat [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.20, 07:55 PM Flag
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It's the satiety of protein vs carbs- you feel full longer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 05:09 PM Flag
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breakfast bowl with qinoa, beans and green has 30 grams of protein. You don't have to consume cholesterol to get protein. How much do you think you even need? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:51 PM Flag
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Even the egg board is not allowed to advertise their product as "healthy" by FDA. Go on their website and see how they engage in linguistic gymnastics to promote their product. Why? Because they will get sued. Based on the decades of studies, eggs raise your cholesterol, and it's the main factor for heart decease. Heart decease is still a #1 killer in the US. Check your blood pressure, watch your cholesterol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:39 PM Flag
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Wait, you eat 450 mg of cholesterol, and it's just for breakfast? You won't feel it for a while, but will be on several medications once you hit 50 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:41 PM Flag
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Depends on the individual. There's no one size fits all healthiest for everyone. Personally I like breakfast salads. Greens, veg, avo, and a poached egg. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:59 PM Flag
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Oatmeal. Signed, 5'3 nutrition junkie, 110 lb, 40 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:33 PM Flag
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You are my height but I’m 20 pounds heavier. What is your typical lunch and dinner? Thanks! (Np) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:53 PM Flag
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bowl of chili with avocado - lunch; sweet or regular potatoes, eggplant, mushrooms, greens, tomatoe, peas, humus - dinner [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.13.20, 07:53 PM Flag
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You want whole grains, berries and flaxeed, banana, some nuts. This way, you load up on fiber and antioxidants, feed your gut flora and won't feel hungry for a while [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:49 PM Flag
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I eat cheese and fruit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 04:27 PM Flag
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I have been eating 1-2 eggs most morning since I was early 30s (now 51) cholesterol in general is a bit high but the good one is very high and I did the artery (calcium) test 6 months ago as part of my physical and it was 0. My doctor said to continue with eggs, he does not believe they are a problem. Otherwise my diet is a modified mediterranean, with a lot of vegetables, fruit and seafood. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 06:19 PM Flag
[ - ] Watched Epstein show on Netflix. Total snooze. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:25 PM Flag
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Ok [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:26 PM Flag
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No new information at all [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:09 PM Flag
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this and boring to boot [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:10 PM Flag
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this and boring to boot [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:10 PM Flag
[ - ] Thinking of renting a house in Hawaii for a few weeks (3-4wks). I would have to work NYC hours so ~3:00am - 12:00pm. I would have DC (6y) with me and it would be just the two of us. Is this a crazy idea? I could potentially hire someone locally to watch him for a few hours (maybe 9a-12p). 70 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:05 PM Flag
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Can you do it for 8 weeks? That's a really short amount of to adjust and then adjust back to the hours. Any college aged person in your circle who would do the babysitting in exchange for a bed and a ticket? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:10 PM Flag
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I would do it for 5-6wks and take last two weeks as a pto so the working part would be 3-4wks. I wouldn't want to have somebody live with us but I am ok hiring locally since I would be around the whole time and would need somebody to just superwise DC's play. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:12 PM Flag
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That sounds awful. The flight. The work hours. The being alone for weeks with a 6 year old. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:11 PM Flag
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I alone with 6yr as is so that doesn't change. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:13 PM Flag
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I don't see how that would work. Six year old won't remember/doesn't care about the location. You'll be asleep by 7. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:12 PM Flag
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we went when DC was not yet 5 and he talks about going back to hawaii every day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:14 PM Flag
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It probably wasn't about Hawaii but about you being excited to go and him having your undivided attention. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:19 PM Flag
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no, it was not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:19 PM Flag
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Ok,well it seems like you really want to go and think it's the right thing for you and your DC so you should absolutely do it. Wjo cares what the rest of us think? You asked and we answered but we don't have to go. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:23 PM Flag
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i asked about the working hours, whether DC remembers or not is completely irrelevant and has no bearing on a decision. if there were closer alternatives, I would consider them but it's either FL (hot and humid + potential hurricanes/tropical storms), CA desert (hot) or the Hamptons (40+K/month). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:26 PM Flag
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The working hours are ridiculous and you know it. Whether there is any sort of value in the particular location that offsets this id absolutely relevant. E.g., if you needed to be in Hawaii to care for a sick relative. But if it's just a place you and your kid liked going in the past, definitely not worth it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:28 PM Flag
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^^^ and there are lots of places, up and down the east coast or even inland where you could enjoy a house with a pool and nice weather and water, whether ocean (Maine to n. Carolina) or lake (lake placid, lake George, lake Michigan). You're being willfully obtuse. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:31 PM Flag
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I found so many places on airbnb in about 3 minutes. I think OP just wants to go to Hawaii, which is fine, but she needs to cut the BS about how it's impossible to find a place on the east coast. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:45 PM Flag
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Do they still have the 2 week quarantine? They have been really strict about people staying at home if they have been coming from out of state. You will not be allowed to go to parks / beaches. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:13 PM Flag
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this. Hawaii enforces the 14 day quarantine [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:15 PM Flag
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Yes, will you be able to grocery shop even? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 05:10 PM Flag
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This. They check up on people's social media posts, hotels give single-use room keys, etc. It's a real quarantine, not 'go the grocery store once a week and do outdoor activities" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 07:31 PM Flag
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they still do and likely will stay that way at least until EO June. We could stay in the house since it has a pool [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:17 PM Flag
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Locals do not want you there. Read some local news sites about the topic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:25 PM Flag
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well then why not rent a house just about anywhere nice that has a pool. It's summer, everyplace is nice (except maybe AZ or NV) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:36 PM Flag
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The places that are available And have private pools are either FL, Palm Springs ca, or hi. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:46 PM Flag
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Why? The times you’d have to work are miserable. Seems ridiculous [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:16 PM Flag
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You’d be sleeping from 12pm to 8pm , why does this seem like a good idea to you ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:17 PM Flag
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hm because ive been locked up in nyc apartment for the past 3m and I am sick of it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:18 PM Flag
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So rent a house in Florida. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:20 PM Flag
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isn't it miserable in the summer? hot and humid + hurricanes? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:21 PM Flag
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Np. Yes, don't listen to that stupid idea. Florida sucks in general, but even more so in summer. Does it have to be a beach? I would rent on a lake upstate, NH, VT or near the beach in Maine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 02:10 AM Flag
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Stay on the east coast, what you are saying makes zero sense [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:28 PM Flag
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This sounds insane. Why on earth would you even consider this? There are many other places you can go without the time difference. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:24 PM Flag
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agree. what about northeast coast? New England? it is drivable and same time zone [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:27 PM Flag
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most homes don't have pools. private pool is a must. I looked literally everywhere and the options are FL, CA desert, HI or the hamptons. I looked at places in the carolinas, GA, VA, NE. even places that list a pool often mean community pool and those will be closed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:29 PM Flag
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https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/42260471?location=New%20Jersey%2C%20United%20States&adults=1&children=1&check_in=2020-07-12&check_out=2020-07-31&source_impression_id=p3_1591540649_TkuE5YHLI4GlSEwc&guests=1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:37 PM Flag
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https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/27506295?location=New%20Jersey%2C%20United%20States&adults=1&children=1&check_in=2020-07-12&check_out=2020-07-31&source_impression_id=p3_1591540728_WhXFcOARL%2BOywg1b&guests=1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:39 PM Flag
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https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/6465805?location=New%20Jersey%2C%20United%20States&adults=1&children=1&check_in=2020-07-12&check_out=2020-07-31&source_impression_id=p3_1591540720_ufXttn27FjLoPn9U&guests=1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:39 PM Flag
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https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/10486432?location=New%20Jersey%2C%20United%20States&adults=1&children=1&check_in=2020-07-12&check_out=2020-07-31&source_impression_id=p3_1591540802_7ng%2FgmjkZ1HsL276&guests=1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:40 PM Flag
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Two are not available and two don’t have a real pool. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:43 PM Flag
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https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/42983242?location=Massachusetts%2C%20United%20States&adults=1&children=1&check_in=2020-07-05&check_out=2020-07-26&source_impression_id=p3_1591541408_6nX9yPmku4sesi17&guests=1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:51 PM Flag
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Shared pool [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:23 PM Flag
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https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/32500857?location=Connecticut%2C%20United%20States&adults=1&children=1&check_in=2020-07-05&check_out=2020-07-26&source_impression_id=p3_1591541555_8Aq4WtGs5rfoSJsL&guests=1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:52 PM Flag
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You didn't look very hard. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:42 PM Flag
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None of this is even available for more than 1-2 wks at the time [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:47 PM Flag
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most homes don't have pools. private pool is a must. I looked literally everywhere and the options are FL, CA desert, HI or the hamptons. I looked at places in the carolinas, GA, VA, NE. even places that list a pool often mean community pool and those will be closed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:29 PM Flag
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Will you be able to supervise DC around the pool while working? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 05:11 PM Flag
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Yes, depending where we end up going we could spend time in the pool before and after work and during the day for shorter periods. I wouldn’t let him outside alone while working (in or out of the pool). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 07:03 PM Flag
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where ? there actually aren't unless you are willing to spend 40k/month. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:27 PM Flag
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Smh [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:26 PM Flag
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Well, 2 of those weeks you'll be under a mandatory quarantine, so that sounds shitty to me. I'm a big fan of working east coast hours when I visit the west coast, it's a much more reasonable 6-2. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:34 PM Flag
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I considered palm desert but it’s really hot. I’ve never been so can’t tell if it would bother me or not. If you have experience would love to hear. Nothing available in la/San Diego area [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:45 PM Flag
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I'm a big fan of Palm Springs, it's hot but it's not the sticky humidity we think of and it cools off considerably in the evenings and mornings. It's hot in Hawaii and the humidity is rough. And bugs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:49 PM Flag
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Ty. Would you go in the summer ? Given lack of other options? The alternative is FL (or HI which clearly everybody thinks is not a good idea ) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:51 PM Flag
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I'd go in the summer, I was there and in Joshua Tree last summer, but I think my preference right now would be the PNW. Oregon is a very underrated state. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:55 PM Flag
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^^Or someplace like Denver. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:57 PM Flag
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Those places don’t have private pool (even when they list them as such). Often you click on the posting and it’s either hot tub or communal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:00 PM Flag
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Do you have a preference between Palm Springs and palm desert? My main criteria are private pool and safe neighborhood. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:01 PM Flag
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Palm Springs is a bit nicer. And if Joshua Tree is open it's VERY worth the visit, great for kids too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 04:02 PM Flag
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If you rent a place with a pool, you’ll want a pool fence and alarm if you don’t have a sitter during your working hours. I think Hawaii sounds great. You’ll work most hours while he’s sleeping and have the whole afternoon with him. He probably still goes to bed early, as will you so you can be up by 3. Do it. You’ve posted about trying to find a place in CA. At age 6, my kids loved Hawaii. So much to do. Yeah, the flights he’ll but you’ll be there for weeks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:50 PM Flag
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Ty. At last a sensible answer. Yes I posted about CA or another option being FL. I wouldn’t let him outside alone but we could both take a dip during the day or even just work on the porch and he would play. He’s done a flight before so that doesn’t bother me. Frankly it’s really only working hours that are concern. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:59 PM Flag
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LOL so you were just looking for people to agree with you. No need to ask a question on a messageboard then, just agree with yourself and be confident in your own decision making. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:09 PM Flag
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Yes, finally a sensible answer that backs up my plan! That's what I was waiting for! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 05:12 PM Flag
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I agree. Your DC is at the perfect age regarding his sleeping hours. It may be rough on you at first to get up at 3 but I’m sure you’ll get used to it. You’ll be there for an extended period of time so you’ll really be able to enjoy Hawaii. I think it’s a great opportunity and if I could I’d do it in a heartbeat. On weekends you can enjoy the beaches and eat loco moco! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 05:21 PM Flag
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Private pool is only doable if you have babysitter for times you are working. Otherwise, how can you watch your kid and keep them entertained? Stay for 8 weeks and enjoy! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 05:22 PM Flag
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I live on Maui. The expectation is that the curfew will remain until end of July. My adult kids have done what you’re describing and it Was absolutely wonderful for all of us, but 1. We are here so could babysit from about 6am when the kids woke and they still had to work and 2. Our 1st child (w grandkids) came before quarantine, so we could take the kids to the beach etc. We have a pool but even in Hawaii kids enjoy a change of scenery. Our 2nd child (single) arrived 3 weeks ago and quarantined. They do check up on you regularly and fines are serious. We stocked him with food etc so he was fine but this would be tougher without family here. Oh, plus it’s Still illegal for homeowners To rent their homes to anyone for less than 6 months. No idea when that will go back to normal. Probably staying on the mainland makes mor3 sense this year. Good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 05:48 PM Flag
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Thank you. Very helpful! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 07:05 PM Flag
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I love love Hawaii, and thrive on the off hours (I’m a radiologist and am currently considering switching to exclusive overnight shifts). I have a 5 yo DS, and he still brings up memories from when we went to Hawaii two years ago. That being said, I probably wouldn’t go unless I had reliable established childcare squared away ahead of time. Do you have a friend, family member, nanny/AuPair that could accompany you? Can you spin your ability to work on the off hours to get you more time there (eg. if I work overnight/off hour shifts, I would be reimbursed at a higher rate)? If not, maybe it would make more sense to rent more locally to NYC for the summer; or could you hold off until after summer when it might be easier to get additional time off? And I think 6 yo is totally fine to take out of “school” for the next year to be somewhere else. If DH’s job didn’t require him to stay local, I would move there in a heartbeat! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 06:29 PM Flag
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Unfortunately local (within ~4hr drive distance) rentals have gone insane and homeowners are asking 25-40k/month which is why I’m exploring different locations. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 07:08 PM Flag
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going to hawaii to swim in a pool ...sigh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 08:33 PM Flag
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x a million! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 01:21 AM Flag
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look at NJ hackettstown area. 1.5 hours from the city, lots of houses with pools, not expensive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 08:34 PM Flag
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Too much w the hours and being just the two of you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 09:24 PM Flag
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I think there are still houses on the Finger Lakes available. He might enjoy splashing in the lake, skipping rocks (they are mostly rocky), looking at ducks, etc., even more than a pool. The biking is great in that area too. You would have to confirm that you have lake access for homes that are not directly on the lake. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 09:43 PM Flag
[ - ] when are we going to see the spike in covid cases from the protests? I want to encourage peaceful protest but am so afraid all of our sacrifice is going to be negated by these enormous crowds. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:02 PM Flag
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Yes and we will be back on lockdown [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:17 PM Flag
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I just cannot believe the turn of events [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:22 PM Flag
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I’ve given up. It’s too depressing. Been so strict and now, between this and Florida, I throw my hands up [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:29 PM Flag
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Just keep wearing a mask and wash your hands. That all we can do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:33 PM Flag
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What about Florida? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:37 PM Flag
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i dont think we will be back on lockdown regardless. the economy was destroyed they are going to open up now matter what. florida is forging ahead with phase 2 even though they had 4000 new cases in 3 days. there is no choice anymore. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 04:10 PM Flag
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We will be fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:27 PM Flag
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I hope so, I cannot go back to the lock down and not being able to go anywhere outside of my immediate area. It's going to be horrible for kids. They are now starting to socialize again outside. It's also going to get too hot to wear masks for extended period of time outside, so lockdown will just be the fact of life for us this summer :( [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:48 PM Flag
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I hope so but why do you think that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:31 PM Flag
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I firmly believe in peaceful protests, but putting hundreds and hundreds of people, many of whom aren't wearing masks, in close proximity, is a gigantic disconnect from safe behavior. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 04:14 PM Flag
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the protests won't stop unless there is significant change. politicians need to pick their battles, and imo stopping covid is more important than protecting the police by such a long shot that it should be a no brainer, but alas. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 10:01 PM Flag
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it's mostly the cops that weren't wearing the masks. being outside with a mask on isn't that dangerous and the protests are necessary. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 12:07 AM Flag
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100,000 Americans have died, and being in a huge crowd of people with zero social distancing is dangerous. Period. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:24 AM Flag
[ - ] my company sent out a policy that any international travel for personal reasons requires a 2 week quarantine when you return. we are still considering a trip to visit dhs parents outside of Paris. They live in an area with few infections and we would basically just be in their house/backyard. would you still consider this and just not tell anyone at work? fwiw i work in a hospital with lots of covid patients so i really don’t think the risk of a flight is much greater than what i’m exposed to on a daily basis 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:34 PM Flag
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personally, I would not be flying internationally, but why would you lie about it if you did? so you have to quarantine - be safe and follow proceedures [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:49 PM Flag
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quarantine as in not go into the office? or quarantine as in stay in your apartment? the second one they can't really determine - they're not the US government. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:57 PM Flag
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Are you getting paid during the 2 weeks? Does it come out of your PTO? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:59 PM Flag
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no it will come out of your pto or unpaid leave. so if i took 2 weeks vacation, then i would have to take an additional 2 week when i returned before coming into work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:18 PM Flag
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I wouldn’t go [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:28 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:36 PM Flag
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I am an ICU nurse and I agree that with proper caution the risk is controllable and not different from your own hospital work environment. Personally I resent how the hospital is trying to control our private lives. But I would not lie to my workplace. We have the exact same policy where I work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:09 PM Flag
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I would not lie to office. That may give them grounds to fire him if he gets sick or they find out about lie [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:52 PM Flag
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I can't believe OP is actually suggesting doing this and lying about it. I have been at home since mid-March and being careful, and also honest with others and myself about risks I take (like going to grocery store). If I worked with OP and found out she is so selfish and irresponsible as to do this and then lie about it, I would be super, super pissed. OP, you don't get to decide for everyone in your office what risks are ok, don't be an irresponsible, arrogant, selfish jerk. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 12:55 AM Flag
[ - ] What is everyone doing today? 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:29 PM Flag
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Finally getting my kid to try on a bunch of old navy and gap clothes I ordered for him so I can mail in returns. Then I'm attacking my desk. It's a beast. I'm not a hoarder in other areas of the home, but my paper piles are awful. I actually bought a program that I'm trying to follow. I'm going to start it today. We'll see if it makes a difference. Going for a happy hour walk with a girlfriend later. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:51 PM Flag
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playing legos with the young kid, showering, laundry, making dinner [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:54 PM Flag
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making babka, going to the park, trying to figure out the summer in absence of any information [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:02 PM Flag
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Babka recipe please. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:27 PM Flag
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+ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:31 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:49 PM Flag
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Me too! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 12:21 AM Flag
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Unpacking, setting up an inflatable for the kids to play, and watching a movie [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:18 PM Flag
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Meeting my DF and having some socially distanced to go cocktails. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:46 PM Flag
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walked 4 miles this morning. grocery shop and pick up lunch in a bit. peloton ride this afternoon. dinner outdoors at the club with another couple tonight. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 04:01 PM Flag
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your club is open?? guessing you're not in the NY metro area? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 09:56 PM Flag
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Greenwich. Yes, outdoor dining only. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 12:55 AM Flag
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We were going to drive to NJ just to get out of town but there are so many protests today don't want to get stuck on some blocked highway somehwere. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 04:14 PM Flag
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Strapped on my "muzzle" and went for a run; I'll either read on the terrace or watch TLC's day-long 90 Day Fiance. Love that Sojaboy!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 04:15 PM Flag
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Can someone explain this to me? Why is with that old lady? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 04:29 PM Flag
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Young strapping fellow, in a strange new country and dependent on her? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 04:37 PM Flag
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Sailing and then barbecue. Grandparents coming over as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 04:46 PM Flag
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on which body of water? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 09:57 PM Flag
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the LI Sound [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 01:25 AM Flag
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Taking the kids to go protest. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 07:33 PM Flag
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Please wear masks & eye protection and be careful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 09:00 PM Flag
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Gardening and swimming. Then grilling. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 10:00 PM Flag
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Baked bread for the first time. Cooked lentil soup, made meatballs, made hard boiled eggs, roasted Brussels sprouts, are tuna salad. I am not cooking for a couple of days now! Spent some time at the beach. The kids are in the pool now and I will be heating up lentil soup for dinner. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 11:03 PM Flag
[ - ] anyone here get divorced with young kids? how did you handle/ feel about the shared custody part? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:19 PM Flag
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Now is not the time [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:19 PM Flag
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I separated when my youngest was 4 and eldest 8. I don’t share custody, however they can see him when they want. They are mainly with me. Best decision I ever made. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:46 PM Flag
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How young? My kids were older and my teens were way more negatively affected by my divorce than my youngest who was 9. Little kids, little problems. I am in a divorced support group and that seems to be the reality although most people seem to wait until their kids are older. I think k it is easier for parents for the kids to be older but not the kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:30 PM Flag
[ - ] How do you know when you order from Amazon, that it’s authentic products. Just read an article about all the fake products they are selling 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:11 PM Flag
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Avoid third party sellers for the most part [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:46 PM Flag
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I look for same product at other places and only order amazon as last resort [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:53 PM Flag
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+1. And if the price is significantly lower, that is usually a tip off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:55 PM Flag
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You don't. There is a ton of counterfeit stuff on Amazon, read the negative reviews carefully to see if people mention getting products that don't seem authentic (this is commonplace in the reviews). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 12:57 AM Flag
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If it's important, I look at who the seller is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 03:53 AM Flag
[ - ] Hi! Would love any workout tips. I’m 8 weeks postpartum. Currently walking with the baby (stroller or in a carrier) for at least 30 mins every morning, followed by a 20 minute video of either HIIT or Pilates while the baby naps. I’ll sometimes also do a PE with Joe video with my older two. Anything I should be doing differently? With DH working from home I’ve actually had time to exercise again - it’s been sooooo nice! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:02 PM Flag
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OP - And a follow-up question, how do you ladies squeeze this in when working? My maternity leave is up in a month and I’d love to keep this up, but how? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:06 PM Flag
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What is the childcare plan after mat leave? Can you squeeze a workout in your lunch break? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:20 PM Flag
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hard to give advice re workout during work without knowing more about the nature of your work. Are you mostly working independently or spending better part of your day on conference calls? You can squeeze in workout early in the morning or between the calls/during lunch. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:07 PM Flag
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I'd ditch the morning walk and alternate running for 20 mins. one day and a 30 min. HIIT workout the next day. Just abs, weights and squats the next day. Repeat. Nothing on day 7. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:20 PM Flag
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OP - thanks! I like the walks bc the baby gets outside/fresh air. Office job (lawyer) so no real lunch hour and I’ll already need to find time to pump. I guess I will need to wake early which is difficult when I’m still waking with the baby during the night but I suppose it is what it is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:12 PM Flag
[ - ] NE Suburban families..do you have a pool in your backyard? Above or inground and is it worth it for the short summer season? We're planning on moving south in the next few years but we're debating installing a pool for the time being for our girls 12 & 4. TIA 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:20 AM Flag
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I heard there's a shortage of above-ground pools. Everyone had the same idea. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:25 AM Flag
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Wait well into July for now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:36 AM Flag
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If you are moving, its not worth it. Pools actually decrease the value of your home in the NE. Above ground only you can remove it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:31 AM Flag
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not true if in ground. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:10 AM Flag
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Get above ground if you’re moving then pass it on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:35 AM Flag
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above ground will decrease your property value, in ground will increase it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:10 AM Flag
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Maybe in NY/NJ but not in NE. Season is too short. Buyers don't want a pool. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:53 PM Flag
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depends where in ne. no one 'doesn't want a pool'. i mean i guess some people. but only reason to actively not want a pool is if it takes up the whole yard. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:15 PM Flag
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I would NOT buy a house with a pool. I fear drownings. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:43 PM Flag
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+1 not with little kids anyway [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:43 PM Flag
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A LOT of people don't want a pool. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:03 PM Flag
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We have two houses with pools on our block, both really nice. Both took forever to sell, and the feedback from the potential buyers was always that they didn't want a pool. Both houses sold, but both took way longer than anyone expected based on market - people didn't want to pay for upkeep, and they didn't want to think about little kids near the pool. However, the COVID experience may shift people's thinking about that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 07:56 PM Flag
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Consider a heater. We get 4 months of near-daily use with it. Ours is in-ground and in a shaded area. The shade used to bother me a lot, and maintenance is weekly due to all the leaves, but it never overheats in the summer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:33 AM Flag
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How much did it cost to install the heater? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 10:30 PM Flag
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What does your normal summer look like? We are never home so decided not to invest in a pool [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:26 PM Flag
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Love our pool and use it from mid May until the end of September inground with heater. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:47 PM Flag
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I initially did not want one but it is has actually been great. My kids are 9 and 12 and are good swimmers so that is helpful. We have an in ground pool with a heater in Westchester. Makes sense for us because we love summers here so only go away for about a week in August and save our travel for the winter months because I hate the cold. If you travel for a large chunk of the summer though then it might not make much sense. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 12:27 AM Flag
[ - ] I suggested our non profit that we need to make a statement about the Black Lives Matter movement, and they said we don't want to be political. Is this political? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:12 AM Flag
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Yes, but really. I've received emails from Citibank, Lululemon, nearly every company or organization I have ever had any contact with. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:27 AM Flag
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But how is it political? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:44 AM Flag
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It's non-partisan, but when people are saying defund the police or remove deBlasio, it's politics. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:20 AM Flag
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It is, but not making a statement is equally political! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:55 AM Flag
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No one wants to hear a statement if there is no action accompanying it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 11:39 AM Flag
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Yeah, I am annoyed by random solidarity posts from nonprofits and others; feels like empty virtue-signaling. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:21 PM Flag
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pp: Exactly. The company I work for changes our logo to a rainbow logo on social media for the month of June. Do they also donate to the cause? No. Do they make an effort to hire diversely? No. It makes me so angry! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:38 PM Flag
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Yes the statements are all nonsense at this point [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:26 PM Flag
[ - ] I'm in NYC and have a small yard. I have a black thumb and I'm bad at growing anything. But I want a garden, and I want easy to plant stuff that's good for bees and butterflies. Any advice as to what I should plant? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:01 AM Flag
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Hire someone to set it up for you, maybe do yearly maintenance if necessary. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:37 AM Flag
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How much sunlight does the garden get a day? That will determine what kind of flowers. Butterflies are attracted to purple plants. You could plant some Wisteria. A few hints: flowers need lots of water. Keep the soil moist, don’t let the soil dry out, but don’t drown the roots. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:40 AM Flag
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Figure out the pattern of sunlight, do a quick soil test, and Find local nursery that can help you with plants. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 06:57 AM Flag
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Natives such as echinacea, butterfly bush if you have room. [ Reply | More
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