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09.08.19, 19:32 PM General Topics
6 replies
s/o of the "stupid fight with DH" MP. Most of the posters advised the OP to leave, but if she does that then this man will likely have 50% of time alone with DCs and possibly treat them the same way, with no one there to intervene. Wouldn't that be as bad, or worse? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 09.08.19, 07:32 PM Flag
 

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Divorced mom here who had a similar husband. That was part of my decision to stay until youngest was 18. Otherwise you're not around to buffer his toxicity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:40 PM Flag
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OTOH, at least they see some non-toxic behavior modeled at home with mom. staying can normalize the toxicity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:42 PM Flag
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Rare for 50% custody. My ex gets every other weekend and two dinners a week. He wants the kids to like him so he is better with them but he was controlling and awful to me. Now, my kids are 12 and 14 and they would simply stop going is he acts like an asshole. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:32 PM Flag
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This is an excuse that people use to stay, but it is just an excuse because they are scared to leave. The kids need a normal home life at least some of the time to having a fighting chance of a normal adulthood. You can always put them in therapy. I know one person who stayed until her dd was 17- NOT an abusive situation, but her husband was an idiot and she was done with him. She stayed because her dh flat out told her that he would take their dd to hang out with his relatives, one of whom was a registered sex offender who had raped young girls. He had no problem doing it while they were married, but she could control if her dd went with him. Divorced, she would not have had that control. There was no abuse, he was just a terrible husband. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:59 PM Flag
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That sounds like an extremely valid reason so I wouldn’t say they use it as an excuse. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:16 PM Flag
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OR yes, I agree. She had a very valid reason IMO. I think most people who are getting abused use it as an excuse because they are scared to leave. But their kids are getting hurt by them staying and they have no place that is a refuge from the abuse. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:44 PM Flag
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