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09.06.19, 19:53 PM General Topics
30 replies
What do you do if you give someone you're dating a key to your apartment but they never reciprocate and give you one to theirs? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 09.06.19, 07:53 PM Flag
 

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How long are you dating? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 07:54 PM Flag
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OP: Over a year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 07:54 PM Flag
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If I was dating someone over a year and felt serious enough to give him a key, I would certainly expect to feel comfortable to ask him why. Guys are lazy. It may mean absolutely nothing. I would joke about it and ask him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:18 AM Flag
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Nothing. Why should they? Creepy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 07:54 PM Flag
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OP: It's creepy to give someone you're dating a key to your apartment? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 07:55 PM Flag
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Well you didn't say that did you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 08:08 PM Flag
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Why do they need a key? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 07:56 PM Flag
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Offer to make an extra set. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 07:56 PM Flag
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OP: Of their apartment key? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 07:59 PM Flag
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Yes. Maybe they don't have an extra set and haven't gotten around to it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 08:01 PM Flag
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Yes, and then offer to buy your own engagement ring, OP. *eye roll* [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 08:05 PM Flag
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My posts were in jest. How do you even answer this question without knowing more about the relationship? You can’t. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 08:14 PM Flag
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Change your locks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 08:00 PM Flag
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Practical Mom in the house! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 08:09 PM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 08:15 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 09:43 PM Flag
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Only right answer. Bravo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:01 PM Flag
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Ask for it back. Was the intention to give it so that you can get one? If so, and your condition for wanting it back is so that you're "even" then what's the point of giving someone a key? I give a key because I trust the person implicitly and he spends time in my home with or without me being there consistently (ie: hangs out over the weekend while we do separate things) otherwise, I treasure my space and like privacy. My parents don't even have my key. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 08:13 PM Flag
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OP: I guess it was just an assumption that we were on the same page in the relationship. I assumed he'd reciprocate. It was a little eye opening when he didnt. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 08:15 PM Flag
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Maybe you should have discussed it first. Never assume. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:08 PM Flag
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No don’t bother asking for it back, creates way too much drama. Just change locks and move on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 01:51 AM Flag
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How long has it been since you have your key? Is there a practical reason why you need his? When dh and I were dating he lived in a building with a very cold lobby and guard like door men. Not an ideal place to wait if he was running late, so he offered his key. I lived in a building with lots of couches in the lobby and an atrium. I also had a roommate who could let him in (and who's privacy I cared about) so I didn't offer a key until he actually needed one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 08:19 PM Flag
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Do you mostly spend time together at your place? Not unusual. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 08:20 PM Flag
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I'd be hurt. I'd give it some time, but if after several weeks, even up to to a couple of months, there's no sign of reciprocity, I'd want to have a conversation about it. It seems like you're not on the same page. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 08:37 PM Flag
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Maybe his landlord doesn’t allow handing out keys to non-residents of the building. I know that was the case for a very secure building where we rented our last apartment. We got two key fobs, one for DH and one for me and had to sign that we won’t lend it to others such as friends or cleaning ladies. When my mom came to visit we had to request a temp key fob and she had to have her ID checked, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 09:38 PM Flag
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OP: He owns his unit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:17 PM Flag
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It doesn’t matter. There were lots of people in that building who owned their units. It was a building rule - for safety only the residents of the apartments (be they owners or renters) could get a key fob. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:10 AM Flag
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I dated someone for several years who had a key to my apartment and I never got one to his. He would stop by to walk my dog and meet me at my apartment. I had full access to his apartment, but would not regularly go there without him. I think the key here is why do you need it and is there a lack of trust that he is not giving you access for some reason. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.06.19, 11:50 PM Flag
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DH gave me his key at 7 months because he was going away for three weeks and invited me to use his apartment while he was gone, and then he never asked for the key back. I never gave him a key to mine. I'm just not the type to want anyone to be able to drop in unexpectedly whether or not I'm there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:45 AM Flag
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Not weird. I didn’t give DH a key when we were dating but I had one to his place. He lived alone and I had roommates and keys that were a pain to copy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 03:51 PM Flag
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