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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Would you fly with kids in early July? It's a 2-hour flight and I'd be flying to a place with low rate of COVID. DH wants me to cancel but kids and I really looking forward to this trip. 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:33 PM Flag
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op: DH was never planning to go. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:33 PM Flag
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what is the trip? I would fly (assuming masks and LOTS of hand washing) but will you be outdoors a lot during the vacation? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:37 PM Flag
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We'll be staying with our family who have also been isolating. We wouldn't eat in restaurants, but would be staying with them and hanging out in their backyard. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:41 PM Flag
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I would go. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:47 PM Flag
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can you drive? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:44 PM Flag
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I could rent a car but it’s 12hrs and really would prefer not to. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:03 AM Flag
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You should drive. You’d have less exposure. Is it from NYC to the midwest or something? You could do 1 stop max if you leave around 6 pm and each take a 6-hour shift and let the kids sleep. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 04:17 AM Flag
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We just booked 4 hour flight for July 1 with boys age 4 and 8 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:48 PM Flag
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Where are you heading? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:02 AM Flag
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Are you coming from a place with a high rate of COVID? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:56 PM Flag
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Yes, NYC [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:02 AM Flag
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I wouldn't. People will have been moving around more after Phase 1 and we are likely to see a spike due to that. You'll be in the airport with other NYers and then in the plane; shared toilets are risky b/c of the confined space and (in the airport) the aerosols from flushing. Then you're on the plane for two hours wearing a mask which is gonna get wet and useless, and then in another airport. So there are risks for both getting infected and infecting others (b/c of asymptomatic and presymptomatic transmission). It really sucks but I wouldn't fly anywhere I didn't really have to for a while yet. That way people who really do have to fly are safer and so are you. Can you switch to a vacay in driving distance? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 01:06 AM Flag
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What about quarantining for 2 weeks once you get there? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 03:43 AM Flag
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If you can do two weeks before and two weeks when you get there, you would definitely reduce your risk. Seems like a hassle though! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 04:22 AM Flag
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Why not just two weeks after you arrive? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 04:43 AM Flag
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So you're not at risk of spreading it when you go through transit hubs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 11:56 AM Flag
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What's the location ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:41 AM Flag
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i would go [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 04:04 AM Flag
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Yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 04:08 AM Flag
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Yep. We did about a month ago. There were seats between each passenger and it was fine. 4-hr flight with an 11-year old and DH [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:30 PM Flag
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My sister's close friend died last Sunday. He caught covid on a flight in April from London to Dublin - less than 60 minute flight. Airline tracers contacted him after the flight that he was seated in close proximity to a positive person. Came down with covid few days later. Male age 44y. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 02:29 PM Flag
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How old are your kids? If young (under 4) probably would not do it since they will be touching everything and its unlikely they will keep a mask on. Just not worth the risk to me personally. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:34 PM Flag
[ - ] Spinoff on dream home post from this morning. This is my dream home minus the wood and bricks in the family room of the kitchen. There's something about that kitchen... 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:49 PM Flag
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https://my.matterport.com/show/?m=Yjir1e5ebA9&mls=1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:49 PM Flag
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Where is it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:09 PM Flag
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Greenwich [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:29 PM Flag
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what's up with those side by side powder rooms on the main floor? and two sets of stairs, right next to each other is weird. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:18 AM Flag
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NP- the side-by-side powder rooms are weird but would be so cool to have for a big cocktail party. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 04:17 AM Flag
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How do you get to the description? I got trapped in the virtual tour. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:35 AM Flag
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Oops sorry: https://www.compass.com/listing/19-meadow-drive-greenwich-ct-06831/404141589013758961/ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:50 AM Flag
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I did, too, but I walked around for a while. Now I want to find more because it was a nice break from my life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 04:20 AM Flag
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Interesting. I think the wood and brick in the family room is the nicest part of the house. It's warm and inviting while the rest of the house is stark and cold. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 01:05 AM Flag
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I agree - it was a nice contrast. I'm not a fan of the all white kitchen but it wouldn't be enough to make me want to remodel. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 01:08 PM Flag
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I love this house. Airy and clean [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 02:11 AM Flag
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It’s really nice but too big [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 03:06 AM Flag
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looks like a conference center [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 04:07 AM Flag
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this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 02:18 PM Flag
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Wow. Gorgeous. Favorite house I've ever seen [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 11:09 AM Flag
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I like the 3d tour. I wish more places did that. Easier to get a sense of the space. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 01:08 PM Flag
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rly? I mean it's obviously a very adequate home but nothing about it sticks out to me whatsoever. Very bland finishing/decor. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 02:17 PM Flag
[ - ] Did you eat refrigerated pate when pregnant? I know I'm technically not supposed to but it's so good. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:13 PM Flag
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What is it? Never had it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:15 PM Flag
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No, I didn't - I avoided all cured meats and soft cheeses. Probably overkill in hindsight. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:16 PM Flag
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Np. Cold cuts sold prepackaged from a faculty ( apple gate. Hill shire farm Oscar Meyer etc.) are fine since sterile. It’s just fresh cut at deli that can cause issues [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:20 PM Flag
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So for OP would one of those packaged D'artagnan tubs be in the same category? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:32 PM Flag
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I did not. I was nervous throughout the pregnancy and especially did not want to ever blame myself if something went wrong. Not judging but I always saw it as: it's only a few months of your life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:24 PM Flag
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+1 I wasn't super strict (fried up deli meats if I wanted to eat them), but had no steaks (can only eat rare/med-rare). Not all foods are high risk (read Expected Better by Emily Oster) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:20 AM Flag
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Pâté? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:27 PM Flag
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Eww [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:43 AM Flag
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this might be the most specific post i've read in a long time haha [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 01:13 AM Flag
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no, and also no salad or soft cheeses in France. I don't bother with pâté in the US. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 02:56 AM Flag
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No, didn’t want to take any risks and had an aversion to meat [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 03:07 AM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone made changes to bar or bat mitzvah plans in fall 2020 or spring 2021? DH and I are wondering when we would know if 1) the restaurant will be open 2) if it would be safe to hold 3) if people would be flying 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:49 PM Flag
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I just booked flights for August for the month. But I would prob skip for 3 day weekend [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:16 PM Flag
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If you want an event without masks, you need to wait until there is a vaccine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:57 PM Flag
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We're scheduled for spring 2021 and are waiting until probably January to decide. Our synagogue will let dc reschedule to any date we want, and keep the same Torah portion. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:58 PM Flag
[ - ] I'm so late with this: niece is graduating college... now. Any suggestions for a great gift? I honestly (sadly) don't know her very well so anything you can think of 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:42 PM Flag
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Is she moving out? Cash to help set up apt [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:07 PM Flag
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One-year subscription to online edition of NYT or WaPo. Donation in her honor to a favorite cause of her - Black Lives Matter seems obvious. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:02 PM Flag
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OP: oh...excellent suggestion. Thank you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:22 AM Flag
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I remember when I graduated college I was incredibly grateful for any checks/cash I received. I had to scrape my way through college and it was great to get a cash infusion to help with first and last months' rent on a new apartment, basic furniture and some work clothes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:06 PM Flag
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This. Extra cash is always appreciated (especially by college students). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:31 PM Flag
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OP: thanks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:22 AM Flag
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Np: this but if you want to make it special (and depending on how much you want to spend) you could tuck it inside a nice simple leather wallet or portfolio. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 03:43 AM Flag
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Twenty crisp $20 bills because she’s a 2020 graduate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 03:46 AM Flag
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sure. not at all tacky. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 03:53 AM Flag
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Who wouldn’t like $400? But what do i know? Maybe she would prefer a $400 donation to a BLM cause like another person suggested. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 04:01 AM Flag
[ - ] For those that have a spouse that still goes to the office to work, do you take precautions at home? I started out not wanting to kiss him on the lips (I do have a pre-existing condition that puts me at a bit higher risk for complications), but at this point, is this ridiculous? He of course thinks so. I kind of do too, but was curious what others are doing... 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:28 PM Flag
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Ridiculous. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:31 PM Flag
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Once he's back at home for 14 days, then it's ok. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:33 PM Flag
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My DH is essential, working 12 hr days since the beginning of this. We have never taken any precautions, never wiped down groceries. He wears a mask at work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:44 PM Flag
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My dad is an essential worker and he says he feels safer in the hospital than when he goes to the grocery store, because he's in full gear at work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:49 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:22 PM Flag
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DH takes a shower as soon as he comes home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 02:06 AM Flag
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He takes a shower as soon as me gets home and we wash all his clothes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 02:44 AM Flag
[ - ] For those who got an antibody test, were you positive or negative? Surprised by the results? 39 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:20 PM Flag
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Negative. I was surprised. I was really sick earlier this year and had a lot of the telltale symptoms. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:23 PM Flag
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Was it in December/January? There was a really nasty upper respiratory virus that went around in NYC. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:26 PM Flag
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Yep. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 04:10 AM Flag
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+1. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 04:36 AM Flag
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I know about 6 people who swear they had it (based on symptoms they had back in late Feb/early Mar) but all tested negative. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:29 PM Flag
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Same. Son and I super-sick in March - he missed a month of school and had 3 urgent care visits and chest x-rays twice, and was put on tamiflu at the time. I was sick in bed for a full week, and was also prescribed tamiflu. We both tested negative for covid antibodies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:31 PM Flag
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I am in this boat too. It was definitely viral per my doctor, and I tested negative for the flu. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 04:36 AM Flag
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+same. Pretty much everyone I know who thought they had had it, didn't. Not all of them have been tested but everyone of them who has been tested, came back negative. We are in NJ. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:36 PM Flag
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Negative. I wasn't surprised. I just got the test because I was at the doctor for another reason and he offered it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:38 PM Flag
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Same [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:10 PM Flag
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Negative - I had been sick so I had thought .... maybe. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:48 PM Flag
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DH was really sick and was negative. I flew cross-country in early March and attended a huge conference, and took the subway daily until mid-March. Haven't been tested yet but I'm curious. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:50 PM Flag
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My DH got tested today, will let you all know the results in a few days! He is an essential worker and his company had about 30 + employees. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:59 PM Flag
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GUYS! One of the WHO doctors says only 8.5 percent of people with COVID will test positive for the antibodies. Creating an antibody is only one way of fighting the virus, our bodies fight it in many other ways as well and so antibodies are not necessarily created. The only true test is a lung xray. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:01 PM Flag
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I had not heard this, TY [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:07 PM Flag
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Link? I googled this and couldn't find anything. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:12 PM Flag
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Google Karol Sikora and daily mail. The daily mail is paraphrasing an article printed elsewhere [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:35 AM Flag
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the daily mail is the worst newspaper in the history of time and 'paraphrasing an article printed elsewhere' is their MO. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:38 AM Flag
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noooo. That is not a reputable source. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:37 PM Flag
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Haven't tested. I haven't been sick at all in over six months. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:05 PM Flag
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I had symptoms end of March with fever lasting nine days and weird symptoms for weeks thereafter. My doctor said it was covid even though I didn’t qualify for a test. My nanny tested positive for covid. I tested negative this week. Very surprised [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:16 PM Flag
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Negative. Was not surprised. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:29 PM Flag
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Negative. was not surprised. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:47 PM Flag
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Positive - not surprised at all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:28 PM Flag
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Do you know how/where you got it? Are you in Manhattan? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:30 PM Flag
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Nope - no clue. The entire family had it. DH and I work in Manhattan. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 01:00 AM Flag
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Whole family tested positive. No surprise, as DH and I were both sick. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:15 AM Flag
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Same [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 02:08 AM Flag
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Positive. Not surprised. Tested positive for virus. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 01:46 AM Flag
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i have heard of a few families where parents def had it and kids are testing negative for antibodies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:03 PM Flag
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yes! We have friends were both parents tested positive and the kid tested negative. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 05:17 PM Flag
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DH had pneumonia in March/April and his doctor was sure he had it. Antibody test came back negative. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 05:18 PM Flag
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Negative. Mildly surprised. Was sick in mid-March from fever, cough and fatigue. Guess it was the old-fashion flu. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 05:47 PM Flag
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Aren't the results still very unreliable? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:24 PM Flag
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fairly. They skew towards false positives. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:38 PM Flag
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Doctor told me the opposite. That there are very few false positives. Mostly false negatives. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:39 PM Flag
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Most of the tests have trouble telling which corona strain you have antibodies for, hence false positives. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 09:26 PM Flag
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Negative. I had been seriously sick in the end of January and in the beginning of March. Yes, surprised. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:35 PM Flag
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Negative. I was surprised as I was very, very sick and DH tested positive for COVID and the antibodies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:50 PM Flag
[ - ] i'm looking for very comfortable sneakers to just hang out in. i need something supportive though in case i want to go for a short walk. i went for a ten minute walk in allbirds, and it messed up my ankle. i guess i have bad feet. but i dont want to wear running shoes all day. advice? 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:14 PM Flag
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I have horrible feet with a weirdly high arch. I wear Vans slip-ons around the house, for short walks - they are not exactly supportive but I feel stable in them. All-Birds seem comfortable at first but are a disaster for walking in. Sole is too cushy, etc; it's worse than bare feet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:28 PM Flag
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I hear you. I have some Brooks which are super comfy, like walking in marshmallow slippers, but they are a disaster for actual walking, my feet hurt so bad later in the day. I stick with Merrell cross trainers or with the Tirra/Tevas as they have good support for a summer sandal. I also have Mephisto mary jane type shoes which are not running shoes, but also very supportive. I also recommend looking at Naot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:55 PM Flag
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Me too. I posted in another thread about the nice arch support in Crocs sandals. I might check out their sneakers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 03:52 AM Flag
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On Cloud are amazingly comfortable; they have a slip-on style that is better for walking and a running style. That said, would you be more comfortable barefoot [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:30 PM Flag
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+1. can't recommend highly enough... fantastic sneakers. light, easy fit, no blisters. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:29 PM Flag
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Do they still make the slip-on style? I can't find it on their website [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 01:38 AM Flag
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was gonna suggest too. love them so much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:44 AM Flag
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Don’t laugh, I know these are probably low class: Skechers slide sneakers—d’lite or some other silly name that I don’t remember. Great support, but so comfy that I frequently wear them around the house—and I usually prefer to go barefoot! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:50 PM Flag
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Do you have a link to the Sketchers? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:55 AM Flag
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Sorry, I don’t; I bought them at an outlet mall last year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 01:56 AM Flag
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Keds has some cute styles right now. I like TOMs. I size up one half size. I know I am not UB's demongraphic though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:51 PM Flag
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put some off the shelf orthotics in your allbirds. worked great for me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:43 AM Flag
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What kind of orthotics? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 04:49 AM Flag
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Asics Cumulus or Nimbus or Hokas [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:45 AM Flag
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Adidas Grand Court [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:45 AM Flag
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There's no way to really know what your feet are like from this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 02:44 AM Flag
[ - ] Surfing moms: 15 yo DD wants lessons in the Hamptons. How safe is it? She has been swimming since she was little and is a good swimmer. Anything else to watch out for? She will get 3-4 lessons and then surf on her own. Thx 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:00 PM Flag
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It's a fun hobby but takes a bit to get used to. It's not like other sports where you can go out anytime you want and can practice all day, you have to wait for the right waves and low tide. And sometimes the waves are too big/too small to even go out for 30 minutes. But if she has patience and puts in the effort she'll get the hang of it. In terms of safety, it's safe but make sure she always surfs with at least one other person or someone sits on the beach watching her. Even if there is a lifeguard. No matter how good you are you can still get hit in the head with a board and drown. But surfing with a buddy will prevent that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:22 PM Flag
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Op: thank you! Good advice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:51 PM Flag
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OP, I apologize for being paranoid, but does that area have issues with sharks? I live on the outer Cape and it's a real concern here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:48 PM Flag
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no [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:45 AM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone done the reading programs offered by Fordham for elementary school kids? I have a 1st grade who is struggling to read and was wondering if this program would be helpful. TIA! 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 08:41 PM Flag
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Reading didn’t Truly click for either of my boys until they were in 2nd grade, 7.5yo. And once they got it, I let them read lots of graphic novels. Now they both read well and my 9yo chooses to read as a pass time . [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:28 PM Flag
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Sorry, didn’t answer your question. I just wanted to let you know that it’s a struggle for many kids in 1st grade. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:30 PM Flag
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OP -- thanks, I appreciate it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:35 PM Flag
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Yes that is a good point. My kids are now avid high level readers, but it was a struggle until 2nd grade. Then sometime mid year everything came together and they started reading reading for pleasure. A friend did do the forham one summer, didn't think it really helped. For a 1st grader, i think most teachers will tel you to keep exposing them to books, let them select, and read with them. reading is hard and that is why it is frustrating ... once that switch flips in their head around 2nd grade, they discover reading is "like watching a movie in my head" and off they go. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:26 PM Flag
[ - ] Do you know a hoarder, someone who has hoarding tendencies or just can’t get rid of their belongings? 30 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 08:32 PM Flag
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My father. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 08:37 PM Flag
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+1. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 08:55 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:00 PM Flag
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+3 doesn’t even try to get rid of things [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:18 PM Flag
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My DH. It is the biggest issue in our marriage. I highly recommend the book "Stuff" by Randy Frost and Gail Steketee. It explains a lot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 08:39 PM Flag
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Same. It is the only thing we fight about (the extra money we spend on storage, the fact that clutter triggers my anxiety but if I say anything he claims I'm "nagging" and so on...) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:22 PM Flag
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It's a form of OCD. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:18 AM Flag
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OCD + anxiety + depression [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 01:48 AM Flag
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Sounds like my parents. My dad hated it, made him miserable but my mom refused to acknowledge that she had an issue. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 01:47 AM Flag
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That's a great book, I think it really helps explain why it is so difficult to treat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 01:47 AM Flag
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I guess my in laws. They never had to get rid of stuff because the army paid to move their stuff and kept getting them bigger homes. FIL was forced to separate in 2018, and they had a very hard time getting rid of anything. Even a paper saying FIL, as a private, learned how to salute. Their last home had four bedrooms, a garage, and a huge attic, and they still had piles of bins and boxes in the guest rooms. And so much expired food they'd carted with them from different countries. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 08:44 PM Flag
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Mil. Her basement is the full length of the house. In there you will find a bunch of tables and on top of them are things she has not used for years.under The tables there are boxers filled with more stuff. There are old couches and tables and bedroom dressers filled with old fabric that was never used. Old sheets, so many tools that are rusting. I could go on and on. Everything that is down there is kept with the intention that “ it is still good and maybe useful in the future” [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:18 PM Flag
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My mother. She has a China cabinet filled with pieces that she has never used. There are easily three sets of fine China in there, none of which are my taste. There are Lladro, Capodimonte, Swarovski crystal, Armani Statues and so much more. She insists that one day this will all be ours but I joke with her that it will all be eBay’s one day.My father passed away and she plans to move but I’m dreading it because I know she won’t be able to downsize. She has saved so much of my baby clothing and brings them to me occasionally. The elastic is no good after four decades. I can’t believe she seems trivial things like socks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:21 PM Flag
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High end or vintage china is not hoarding. It was made to be a heirloom, but now they are out of fashion. You will probably be able to sell it to the collectors eventually. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 10:27 PM Flag
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I have to keep my hoarding tendencies in check. This pandemic hasn’t been good for me because all the things my husband Wanted to throw out, we have used. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:29 PM Flag
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NP: this is me exactly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:13 PM Flag
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My exH and my eMIL. It was horrible living with him. Not just hanging onto a few extra things; there were piles of newspapers/papers, never threw anything away, it was rotting in piles. Absolutely horrible. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:30 PM Flag
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Poster below. Yes. And old mouse poop. Couldn't tell if they had new mice or where they were until we cleaned it all out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:54 PM Flag
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God it was awful. "Oh, I need that old KFC bucket because it reminds me of X; I need that Mrs. Butterworth's bottle I've had since college because of Y". Absolutely insane. And wouldn't have any cleaning people in the house (but also wouldn't clean). Obviously we are not married anymore (for that among other reasons). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:35 PM Flag
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My mother is worse than my father but they are both problematic. There is a range from "I will fit into these pants again" to "someday your grandchildren will want your crib" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:51 PM Flag
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Very funny and so true! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:06 PM Flag
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My mother...it is so annoying [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 01:02 AM Flag
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My mom is a hoarder, it's not gross, no garbage, just lots of books and clothes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 01:46 AM Flag
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EX and his father. While the father had a few illegally enlarged homes to stash his stuff, EX was spending a fortune in storage facilities and amassing more things to put in them. No retirement plans, no savings, always financially just making it month to month. Any windfall was spent on buying large collections. The justifications were always that these things were of value. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 02:05 AM Flag
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Yes, always a shopper but emotional trauma made it impossible to get rid of anything. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 02:54 AM Flag
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DH's old roommate. He kept everything, and once even brought home a huge stack of Yellowpages he found in the lobby, saying he could use them to make a shelf. ????? It was insane. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 02:56 AM Flag
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Growing up I knew a girl who lived in a real deal hoarder apartment. Her mom had serious mental health issues. I'm talking who knows how many cats, cat shit everywhere, the kitchen completely covered in moldy dishes and rotting food, paths and tunnels carved out of the space so they could move through the apartment, just FILTH. I once witnessed her sibling eating a fast-food hamburger, decide she was full halfway through, and just... put the half-eaten hamburger down on the floor of the living room. Like, that was where food was discarded. There are no garbage cans when you live in a giant pile of garbage. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:08 PM Flag
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MIL - adn FIL too I guess, but he died a few years ago. When we cleared out her house ds carried boxed full of boxes down from the attic for 3+ hours. Nothing in the boxes within boxes, just more boxes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:26 PM Flag
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I am in real estate and I have met a ton of hoarders. They all want top dollar for a space no one can see. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:46 PM Flag
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That is funny [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:46 PM Flag
[ - ] Going through a divorce and hoping to improve myself in the process. I'm currently dieting, and plan to de-clutter and reorganize my apartment. What are some other things I can do for a fresh start? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 08:28 PM Flag
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I'm in the same position. I bought a few new outfits and that helps me feel good when I go out with friends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:05 PM Flag
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If the mattress that you sleep on was your marital bed, new mattress and box spring. New sheets, of course. You never can tell who might be sleeping there; you don't want bad karma. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:15 PM Flag
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LOL - one of my mom's friends got divorced right around the time I got my first apartment. She got rid of a brand new sheet/bedspread/pillowcase and dust ruffle set so my mom sent it to me. I'm still using the dust ruffle in the guest bedroom, and the bedspread is pulled out of storage if we have tons of guests and it's cold. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 01:06 AM Flag
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Once it's safe to do so get a few massages with a medically trained expert. I find them so restorative and indulgent. Reconnect with a few old friends who you really enjoy. Volunteer or take up a new hobby or brush up on foreign language skills. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:12 PM Flag
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Quit drinking [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:40 AM Flag
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practice metta meditation, sending yourself love and kindness is excellent. keep a gratitude journal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 01:39 AM Flag
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Get over the idea that you need improving. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 02:58 AM Flag
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Take care of your mental health. Practice meditation and mindfulness, exercise, life-long learning, invest in your friendships, maintain your cultural interests, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:51 PM Flag
[ - ] For those that have laundry in the basement of the building, how are you navigating all the steps from the washing machine to laundryroom cart to dryer to own laundry cart? I have been going insane, not leaving my cart in the laundry room and with all the back and forth. Does anyone have a process flow that works well and avoids all the potential contamination steps? Think I'm going nuts with this virus. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 08:21 PM Flag
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I have always been leaving my cart in the laundry room. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 08:27 PM Flag
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Dryer is hot enough to kill most things. Then just dump in cart and take up to fold. We won’t we’re clean clothes for 24 hours and I put cart away for the week and wash hands. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:36 PM Flag
[ - ] Spin-off: if you're more successful than your husband, does it bother you/him? How do you handle it? Or do you feel like you are able to look past traditional gender roles? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:45 PM Flag
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Do you mean professionally successful? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:52 PM Flag
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Yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:58 PM Flag
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I achieved a high degree of success in my field then quit to have kids. DH is also successful. Neither one of us would like it if I were working and he stayed home. I guess we're traditional that way. But if we both worked, we wouldn't care who made more. In our circle of friends, about 50% of the women work and all of them wish they didn't have to or that their DH's made more. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 08:04 PM Flag
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Surprising to me. In my friend groups, everyone is either SAHM or is working at careers they find fulfilling, although not always easy. But I can't remember anyone ever expressing that they wished their DH made more. And generally speaking, friends and their DH's are similarly successful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 08:07 PM Flag
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I bet he would actually like to stay home while you went to work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 08:21 PM Flag
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What makes you think my husband is a liar? We discussed before getting serious. Besides, at this point, he can do whatever he wants. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 08:27 PM Flag
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In what way are you more successful? I ask because, part of the question is around how you judge success. I have pretty much always made more than my DH (though not a multiple of his income), except when I was a SAHM and he was the sole breadwinner but is in many ways the steadier hand and has charted a very strong career in which he is held in high regard by his colleagues and valued by his company and holds the senior-most job in his subspecialty. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 08:05 PM Flag
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it sort of bothers me - not so much that I'm more successful but also that i work a lot harder to be so. I feel like I never get to feel 'taken care of' and i miss that, right or wrong. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:01 PM Flag
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When I met DH I significantly out earned him and that was 15 years ago. We decided that he’d be a full time parent and it’s working fine. Though there are times when I wish he had more going on socially as I need space when I finish work and he always wants to chat [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:50 PM Flag
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It doesn't bother me. I don't think it bothers him in a major way. We actually met at work so he knew what he was getting into, lol. He is a wonderful primary parent and has expressed gratitude for the fact that my hard work enables him to work P/T or even not at all. He is currently a SAHD and it's been great for both of us and the kids. I love him so much and am happy to support him. He has expressed a desire to work at least P/T after the kids are in school and I appreciate that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:10 PM Flag
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I guess? I mean, I wouldn't have been successful without DH's help. DH wants to be sahd now, we've got 2 under 3. We're thrilled with the situation, mostly. Sometimes I feel guilt for not helping out enough etc but kids adore DH so no guilt re: childcare. We've never been traditional in any sense, so trad gender roles are the furthest thing from our minds. Also, we were friends before dating, and when we started dating I made it clear I wanted a big career with a supportive dh, and he agreed that he'd be happy in that role. He is also extremely intelligent, hard-working, etc so he could've had huge career success if he wanted, he just chose to be there for us instead. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:17 PM Flag
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oh the "i guess" refers to being more successful than him, I'm not bothered by it. How do you define success? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:22 PM Flag
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Depends on the definition of success. I make several times more than DH makes and have a decent amount of recognition in my field, but he built a business from nothing, with a parent who actively tried to convince him not to do it, and now employs a decent number of people, so I think you could say we are even or he is maybe a little ahead. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 01:58 AM Flag
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There were a few years I made more, and I truly hated it. Way too much pressure and I never wanted that. Roles reversed and have a more traditional home now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 03:05 AM Flag
[ - ] Do you like these shoes? Not paid link, I swear! Trying to find summer flats. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:40 PM Flag
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https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/lucky-brand-falinda-sandal-women/5627321?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FBrands%2FLucky%20Brand&color=stone%20leather [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:40 PM Flag
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Seem like they would get dirty quickly [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:46 AM Flag
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No. Not a fan of that brand. Find their shoes uncomfortable [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:41 PM Flag
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No [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:53 PM Flag
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no arch support looks incredibly painful to me! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:54 PM Flag
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those shoes have way too many areas that could irritate your foot. And no support. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 08:30 PM Flag
[ - ] Just overheard 6yo DS ask his 29yo babysitter if she had kids and she replied, "you have to be old to have kids. Do I look old to you?" Gee, thanks, babysitter! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:37 PM Flag
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Most 29 yo’s have kids. Weirdo [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:54 PM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:11 PM Flag
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that is a strange answer when you are 29. maybe if she were 19 it would make sense! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 08:05 PM Flag
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wow. sounds to me like she's being evasive, eg she had a miscarriage or abortion or someone asked her to have kids with them and she said no... anyway, this answer is more about her than you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:19 PM Flag
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Strange because 29 is getting up there. She sounds like she has a chip on her shoulder about being older. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 01:19 PM Flag
[ - ] I am thinking about booking a Royal Caribbean cruise for August 1, 2020 out of NJ. It will be the first ship allowed to cruise. Am I nuts? 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:32 PM Flag
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How would you feel about getting stuck in your cabin for a month? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:33 PM Flag
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or longer: https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/artania-cruise-ship-docks/index.html [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:40 PM Flag
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IMO, yes. you know if there is a single contagious person it will rip through that ship. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:36 PM Flag
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Fully. Why would you do this? Honestly so curious. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:36 PM Flag
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OP - I love to cruise. Great price. My April cruise was cancelled... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:39 PM Flag
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We cruise and typically go in February. DH loves cruises more than I do and even he is reluctant to go in Feb 2021. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:39 PM Flag
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How could you have any fun doing this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:48 PM Flag
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Yes, you are nuts. DON'T DO IT!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:54 PM Flag
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yes. We were supposed to go on a cruise over spring break. We won't even consider re-booking until a full season has gone by with a vaccine. The chances of getting stuck on the ship are just too high. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 08:37 PM Flag
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Half the people here don't want to send their kids back to school for another year, and half are jumping on a freaking cruise ship. It's fascinating. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 08:39 PM Flag
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There has to be a happy medium. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:22 PM Flag
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How long can you hold your breath? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 08:40 PM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:12 PM Flag
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I wouldn't cruise until there is a tried and true treatment or vaccine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:23 PM Flag
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Yes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:32 PM Flag
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Yes you are nuts [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:13 PM Flag
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yes. It is just dumb [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:16 PM Flag
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Yes. I'm pretty relaxed about the virus but you couldn't not pay me money to get on a boat with a bunch of people after a pandemic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:22 PM Flag
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I think cruises suck in general but right now I would not go even if you paid me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 04:41 AM Flag
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+1 no thank you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:24 PM Flag
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I think you're insane, actually. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 11:05 AM Flag
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IMO too soon. Less worried about getting sick and more worried about getting stuck at sea [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 01:34 PM Flag
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yes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:32 PM Flag
[ - ] Where do you shop for decoration for your beach house? I have a few walls to fill and items to buy. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:04 PM Flag
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TJ Maxx and garage sales. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:11 PM Flag
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Wayfair or local shops [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:12 PM Flag
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Homegoods, wayfair, pottery barn teen believe it or not - some really cool mirrors etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:13 PM Flag
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Op- I visit the stores in Tanger-Potterybarn, West Elm, Restoration Hardware. I love independent boutiques. I am on eastern Long Island. Any places you suggest here?I already go to Homenature, Rumrunner, Hildreths, White Flower Farm House, Phoebe and Belle, In the Attic too, Hamptons West, Fischer’s (I miss Beach Bungalow in Sag Harbor) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:35 PM Flag
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Op-we sites I frequent are allmodern.com, Overstock, Potterybarn, West Elm, Restoration Hardware, Ballard Design, Wayfair. I prefer modern and clean lines with a relaxed feel. I find so much more in independent boutiques. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:37 PM Flag
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This is what local shops/galleries are for! We have maps and prints of local places. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:40 PM Flag
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Op-I prefer independent. Stores out here open often and sometimes are off the main streets. I love visiting a little boutiques when we travel. That’s where my best finds were found. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:46 PM Flag
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I understand the desire to have it "finished," but if it's a house you plan to have long term, it might be worth adding piecemeal. It gave us something fun to hunt for each season. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 08:23 PM Flag
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Op- we have had it for over 10 years. The rooms are done. I want to freshen it up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 08:31 PM Flag
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Try Etsy and look for look for local artists. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:08 PM Flag
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Local artists. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:53 PM Flag
[ - ] What is your profession? What about DH? 53 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:02 PM Flag
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In house attorney, finance [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:13 PM Flag
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Engineer, CEO. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:16 PM Flag
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Business strategist, investment banker [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:20 PM Flag
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social worker, lawyer [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:29 PM Flag
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lawyer, hedge fund [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:36 PM Flag
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writer, principal/designer [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:37 PM Flag
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what kind of writer? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 01:48 AM Flag
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Project Manager, Software developer [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:38 PM Flag
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lawyer, college librarian [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:39 PM Flag
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Teacher, pharmacy owner [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:40 PM Flag
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Lawyer, executive [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:47 PM Flag
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Lawyer / lawyer. At least we’re in different practice areas. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:51 PM Flag
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Finance and Account exec . I’m no longer working since the fall. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:55 PM Flag
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Photographer/lawyer [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 08:04 PM Flag
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recruiter/retired exec [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 08:29 PM Flag
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executive comp consulting / IB [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 08:31 PM Flag
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MD/MD [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 08:49 PM Flag
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In house attorney/private practice attorney [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 08:55 PM Flag
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Sahm/former chef, finance [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:10 PM Flag
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Finance, data science [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:12 PM Flag
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What is data science? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:37 PM Flag
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data modelling/statistics using lots of computing power [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:31 PM Flag
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Journalist/teacher (We are the UB poor folks!) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 09:54 PM Flag
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Same here! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 03:46 PM Flag
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Lawyer/Real Estate Agent. I feel like people look down on his profession, however he provides pretty well (250k-300k) annually and makes his own schedule. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:11 PM Flag
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So many lawyers on UB. No wonder everyone is so argumentative and judgey :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:15 PM Flag
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I feel like I want to argue with you, but I'm a lawyer to do I guess I just proved your point! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:25 PM Flag
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+1! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:02 AM Flag
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MD PhD, MD [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:28 PM Flag
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Investment banker, board member [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 10:52 PM Flag
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Criminal defense lawyers, I do appeals, DH public defender. We talk a lot of shop. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:07 PM Flag
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own a small (fiction) publishing company. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:20 PM Flag
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no dh? or partner? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 01:49 AM Flag
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Finance/finance...completely different areas. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:23 PM Flag
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instagram influencer, private equity [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 11:31 PM Flag
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what's your genre? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 01:49 AM Flag
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writer /architect [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:46 AM Flag
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Aw, same combo as my parents [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 03:20 PM Flag
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Professor/business owner [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 02:52 AM Flag
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Preschool teacher, professor [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 05:18 AM Flag
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Technology (software developer) / Education (teacher / school leader) - wow - no tech people? That's interesting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:43 PM Flag
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ikr? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 01:49 AM Flag
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Executive, finance [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 12:51 PM Flag
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speech therapist/engineer [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 01:25 PM Flag
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auction house gemologist, deadbeat ex-dh :( [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 02:02 PM Flag
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The trash took itself out :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 03:50 PM Flag
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Content strategist got a big silicon valley company/sales engineer for a very technical product [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 03:17 PM Flag
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got = for stupid autocorrect! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 03:18 PM Flag
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Professional musician, Reading specialist [ Reply | More
]
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higher ed staff, biglaw [ Reply | More
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freelance translator / investment banker [ Reply | More
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DH: Architect; Me: Interior Designer. [ Reply | More
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