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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] I work for a media company in midtown manhattan. No word when we are supposed to go back into the office. Anyone else in NYC media have any clue when we have to go back? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:34 PM Flag
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September [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:39 PM Flag
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+1. About a month ago our company told us to not plan on coming back before September. Even then, most of us will probably still primarily WFH if we're not in a role that needs to be anywhere in person (i.e. production, sales) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:41 PM Flag
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+2. DH is also WFH until at least September. He will be back in an office FT at some point, but I could see my company never returning to everyone back in office FT. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:48 PM Flag
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def not before sept and if schools aren't fully back then not till they are. our company is echoing the tech cos. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:57 PM Flag
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NYC media company said yesterday that they wouldn't open the office until at least the new year. This was in an email from our President. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:10 PM Flag
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Genuinely curious why. The rate of infection is very low and is likely to come down to 0 by the end of the summer. Why not return in September [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:48 PM Flag
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Most employees can do their jobs just fine from home. No need to rush everyone back on public transport and into the office. Also, all of the modifications would be pricey and time consuming to implement. Not to mention, many workplace modifications will impact productivity. If only 1-2 people can be in the elevator at a time, it's going to take forever to get to your office. Our office is 17 stories. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 09:39 PM Flag
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This. Honestly a hassle if it's not mandatory for people to be there in person. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm dying to get out of my apt (and stop homeschooling kids!), and I'm super antsy to get back to my routine and commute, grabbing over priced salads for lunch, gossiping with my work pals, etc... but I'm honestly getting everything done that I did before WFH, so the company isn't losing anything. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 09:57 PM Flag
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the rate of infection won't be anywhere near 0 until there is a vaccine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 11:24 PM Flag
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nothing official - but word is not in 2020 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:15 PM Flag
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I work for a media company downtown. They have said that 10% of people in Midwest offices will return end of June, with very gradual re-openings in other cities to follow, with limited staff at first. Based on that timeline, I can't see myself being asked to return in 2020. My job can completely be done from home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:35 PM Flag
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^^It seems that DH is home indefinitely (not in media). He already WFH regularly before Covid, he only went in for essential meetings or to put in face time, and I can't imagine anyone will care about office face time for years to come. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:38 PM Flag
[ - ] NJ stay-at-home order lifted! 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:27 PM Flag
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Not being snarky, but what does that mean? Weren't people out and about anyway? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:42 PM Flag
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Stage 2. Non-essential retail can open, larger groups can gather, hair salons on the 22nd, daycare opens the 15th, gyms "soon". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:45 PM Flag
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Got it. I knew it was Stage 2, but didn't understand that the SAH order hadn't already been lifted with 1. Thanks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:04 PM Flag
[ - ] DH's and my company have recently announced we will be working from home pretty much indefinitely. We have a 1yo and 4yo and live in a 3 bedroom apt in NYC which is about 1500SF. While we wanted to stay in NYC indefinitely, I don't think we will be comfortable in the long run working out of an apartment everyday along with 2 kids and a nanny, especially when we don't have an office or dedicated work space. Is anyone else starting to feel this way? 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:01 PM Flag
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yes I am. My dcs are older and we are settled in our life but this is not working. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:03 PM Flag
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^^ That said, selling out apartment would mean a $300K loss and not sure that is smart so we are holding out for the next year to see how things turn out and if schools are partially online here but in person in the burbs etc then we will look to leave [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:04 PM Flag
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Instead of losing $300K, you could rent a studio or some similar for a year and still save a hell of a lot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:09 PM Flag
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Good idea [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:43 PM Flag
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Would a coworking space help? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:10 PM Flag
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It technically could, but it would be on DH and me to pay ourselves since technically we still have offices and they are open, we are just encouraged to work from home if we can. If we're going to be in a confined space with others may as well just ask to go into the office [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:18 PM Flag
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np. how is this working from home indefinitely though? You still have an office and your company is allowing you to go to it, if not now, then at some point in the near future. unless you think that this pandemic will continue indefinitely and we will be SIP 5 years from now. I see it more as a short-term problem of maybe 6 months to a year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:20 PM Flag
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if you have an office that is still letting you in, you guys need to start considering going in. Your mental health needs the break. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:37 PM Flag
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+1 --just because you don't have to go in, doesn't mean it's not a good idea to go in. Honestly, even if they say you don't have to, it might be that people who go into the office get an advantage on work and projects, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:39 PM Flag
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Our office is letting those who wish to apply to work onsite again with proper distancing and frequent tests. They recognize that many don't have ideal WFH situations. Those who want to can stay WFH. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 10:21 PM Flag
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One of my DHs colleagues went in a few weeks ago and said it was great. Empty, got a ton done, no one else there. If your company is recommending no one else coming in, you might be one of one a couple there and can really get a break and focus on your work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 02:12 AM Flag
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Could you put both kids in the same bedroom and use the 3rd bedroom as an office? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:51 PM Flag
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This -- 1 and 4 should be able to split a room -- if you put up a set of stacking cubes you could make a room divider/storage space. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 09:26 PM Flag
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3BD over 1,500 sq ft is not that small, can't you carve out office space? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 09:09 PM Flag
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Agreed. You put a desk in the master bedroom, the 4 yo is at preschool and the 1 yo has morning and afternoon activities and eats lunch at the park or community center or both are in daycare. Plenty of time and space. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 12:38 AM Flag
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ITA. We have 3BD 1,200 sq ft apartment and I feel like it's a really good size, only 1 BD is smallish. You have 300 extra sq ft, there must be space for a home office. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 02:26 AM Flag
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Do you have any neighbors who aren’t using their apartment? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 11:32 PM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone else feel like the worst of the Coronavirus may be over for good or do you think there will definitely be a bad second wave that will force mass closures again? I am not saying it wasn't a big deal to begin with, but it seems like even states that have opened and are seeing more cases maybe just never peaked but it's not as bad as it could be. 31 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:52 PM Flag
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I think the worst is over. Europe has largely opened up and is doing fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:00 PM Flag
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I think the worst is over because we are all more aware and watching. Before it spread for a month before anyone had an idea. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:00 PM Flag
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We also have better tools, i.e. testing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:02 PM Flag
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We are now testing a ton of people every day. That was missing at the start. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:02 PM Flag
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I expect a second wave. It might not be as bad as the first wave but I think it will be more than a blip. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:25 PM Flag
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+ 1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:27 PM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:29 PM Flag
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+3 I am an MD and in our academic hospital we are definitely talking about a second wave [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:52 PM Flag
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+1 another MD here, I expect another wave. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 10:22 PM Flag
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MD’s any idea when, approximately, the second wave will happen? And thank you so much for healing us, you are my heroes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 12:30 AM Flag
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First MD mom here. Prior to all of the protests, we were speculating about the late fall/early winter, sort of like flu season. Now with the protests, we're holding our breath to see if there's a spike in cases in the next week or two. (I support the protests BTW, but am also realistic that they increase transmission risk.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 01:18 AM Flag
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+3 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:54 PM Flag
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Yes, it’s over [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:26 PM Flag
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Aren’t some states that opened seeing surges? Arizona? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:30 PM Flag
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https://www.google.com/amp/s/tucson.com/news/local/arizona-hospitals-bracing-for-crisis-as-covid-19-cases-surge/article_2534c829-32a1-5843-8005-d1c82bda5d40.amp.html [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:32 PM Flag
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yes - Arizona is a big problem. nobody is wearing masks, and they're governor has been terrible. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:06 AM Flag
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I think it's easy to think it's over when the media isn't talking about it. There are upticks in 3 western states. But I do think that in NY, things are definitely looking better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:37 PM Flag
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This. I think it's the combination of: 1) things actually being better in NYC, 2) the media's shift from coronavirus to BLM, 3) the weather that is making everyone feel like it's over. I do think we've seen the worst of it, but I think there will be a second wave. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:56 PM Flag
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This is silly. If media isn’t taking about it, we have other sources for this information. I follow ER Drs on social media, and they say that hospitalizations from COVID are rare now, at least in New York [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:28 PM Flag
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I do and I was very worried and pulled my kids out of school early. Just watching how it will be in September [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:39 PM Flag
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I think there will be a second wave, but they will close everything down very quickly, not to take chances. Then we'll be able to reopen fairly quickly, too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:07 PM Flag
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I think it really depends on how long the antibodies stay in people's symptoms. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:16 PM Flag
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I read in some places that the second wave in NYC will be lighter than second waves in other places because we already have higher immunity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:17 PM Flag
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Hard to know for sure but one thing that is certain is that plenty of people will be dragging it into and around NYC in the coming months. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:55 PM Flag
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I expect the second wave to be worse because people are going to be much more reluctant to be safe. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 09:52 PM Flag
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I feel like it’s over [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 10:18 PM Flag
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As if people's "feelings" or opinions on this question mean anything. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 10:49 PM Flag
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im a doctor and i honestly think it’s the strangest thing and we have no clue wth is going on. during that peak my hospital was completely full of covid. every patient who came in had it. and now nothing? i mean literally the number of new covid cases we get a day are single digits [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 02:33 AM Flag
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I don't think it will be like the classic 1918 second wave but more of a long slow plateau with ups and downs as it burns out through the various states. TX has had a significant rise in the last few days (not a spike). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 09:58 AM Flag
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"Second wave" is a theory, and this is a new situation so we'll have to see how bad it gets. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 11:14 AM Flag
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I do not think it's over. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:05 AM Flag
[ - ] Fitness moms - how long does it take to regain cardio capacity? I was where I wanted to be pre-covid but have taken 2 months off. I'm wondering how long it will take to get back to the same place. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:50 PM Flag
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about 6 weeks. -exercise science professor. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:00 PM Flag
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She’s only been off for a couple months. It shouldn’t take a full six weeks as there should be some muscle memory there. I’d say more like a month, if she’s consistent. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:34 PM Flag
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^ speaking from experience [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:37 PM Flag
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You're correct about regaining muscular strength quickly, but cardiovascularly- your VO2 max and lactate threshold plummet after a week of detraining and will take 5-10 weeks of consistent training to reach the same levels. This isn't to say OP won't be able to run/bike/swim the same amount but her fitness levels won't be the same for a while (which may make the exercise less comfortable). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:46 PM Flag
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not long if you were fit before you stopped. I would say a week or two max [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:03 PM Flag
[ - ] Is Murray Hill still mostly 20somethings, or is that an old stereotype? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:46 PM Flag
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It is still popular with 20 somethings but wouldn't say they are the majority. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:16 PM Flag
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Murray Hill is a mix of range. While there are a lot of 20s and 30s here. I've seen a growing number of families as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:16 PM Flag
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Very underrated part of Manhattan for a family. It is close to Central Park, good public school (ps 59), well connected vi subway, lots of services around, real estate cheaper than other parts of manhattan [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:28 PM Flag
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It's 25 blocks tourist-packed blocks from Central Park and only has 1 train line going through it... I don't think it's the *worst* place to live but its' park-proximity and transportation would definitely fall into the 'cons' of the neighborhood IMO [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:55 PM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 10:56 PM Flag
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Lots of families, great schools elementary and MS [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:45 PM Flag
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It's accessible to downtown and uptown. It's easy to get around town in general as it's pretty central. Get more space for the $$ considering it's NYC. I can walk to work. D2 is a good school district. I've been living on and off this neighbourhood for the past 20 years. I've seen a number of families raise kids here over the years. Wouldn't say it's close to Central Park though (that's a real stretch). It's close to the East River. I take my bike there or go for a run on the weekends. Madison Square Park is not too far away. I've taken my child to play there when he was younger. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 09:41 PM Flag
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btw, this debatable but Murray Hill stretches from 34th to 42nd ( from 3rd Ave to Fifth Ave) give or take a few. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 09:50 PM Flag
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Nope, it’s from first avenue to fifth [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 02:22 AM Flag
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Funny, I always thought post-war development along the river as Kip's Bay. And historically speaking, Murray Hill is really on the hill. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 03:14 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone else have a tween/teen daughter. I have a 12.5 year old. I just miss my buddy, she is so combative and rude to me (not dh, only me) she takes out all her anger on her brother and can be very cruel to him. Help any BTDT that have advice? 33 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:16 PM Flag
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Yes she is right on time for separation and individuation! Don't take it personally, she needs to do this. You have been close and cuddly and now she needs to start to find her own boundaries and this is what they do. My previously lovely dd was tough around that age, I worked very hard not to feel hurt sometimes (impossible but we can try) and know that they will come back to you. This is just her taking her space, go ahead and let her have it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:26 PM Flag
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so what did you do? how did you engage with them. I cannot do anything right it seems. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:32 PM Flag
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sorry engage with her? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:34 PM Flag
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Well what I tried to do was decide what was important to me and what wasn't. I stopped working hard at seeking connection and let her come to me a little more, called her out when she was rude but didn't insist on trying to have our relationship go unchanged. Sometimes I took the space I needed if she was being a pain. Fast forward a few years she just turned 18 and is super lovely and we are close. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:36 PM Flag
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New mom but also with 12.5 year old. Thank you. I worry I have raised a terrible person and she will grow up into an adult with these traits (even though I remember I was terrible at this age too.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:41 PM Flag
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np. Someone told me to judge tweens and teens on the way they behave with other adults. They take all their frustrations on their moms, but if interact respectfully with other adults, they will be fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 02:30 AM Flag
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At 14 here and dying. maybe we can commiserate :( [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:34 PM Flag
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yes please - she is lovely one minute and dismissive the next... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:39 PM Flag
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Mine has been unbearable for about 1.5 years now. So started around the same time as your DD. She was meaner to me at first but now is mean to DH as well. Rude, disrespectful, questions every aspect of every rule and outright combative - there are literally very few pleasant interactions these days. We talk to other parents to see if our rules are particularly stricter than others but feels like we are in the middle of the spectrum. She always compares each rule to the most lax ones that her friends have and starts lashing out. She is, however, super nice to everyone else, has a great group of friends and does well academically. I am just so sad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:46 PM Flag
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yes! everyone comments on how lovely she is. I just miss her, she still tells me things but I see her pulling away much more. She has nice friends but a handful that are very "fast" and I worry about their influence. Regarding rules, I feel like we are middle of the pack as well but she compares everything to my SIL who has no rules and is very wealthy so her children have no rules and everything they want. The latest is that she started calling me by my first name which DH told her was unacceptable. I would say she is pleasant 60% of the time but she used to be a joy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:59 PM Flag
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I hear you - hang in there. How much screen time does she get across social media, tv, games, movies etc.? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:09 PM Flag
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way too much during quarantine. SHe was much better prequarantine. Does not help that we are not sending her to sleepaway camp this summer [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:27 PM Flag
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^^ I read the book untangled. That has been helpful but the quarantine certainly hasn't helped (with all the time together) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:48 PM Flag
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Mine is now 15, but when she was around 12 I remember how we could be fine and then she would say something that would literally bring a sting of tears to my eyes because I would be so taken off guard. She is much calmer now, but more independent, has a whole apects of her life that I am not privy to. I hope that we becomre close again in the future. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:52 PM Flag
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When did she turn calmer? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:57 PM Flag
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You just described my situation to a tee. My soon to be 13 year old DD is awful to be around. Quarantine and online school has made the situation worse. I have no advice because I’m not handling it well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:54 PM Flag
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NP and I am so glad to read this thread and know I am not alone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:55 PM Flag
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I recommend the book "Untangled" by Lisa Damour. It helped me make sense of it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:24 PM Flag
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Another mom with a 12 y/o DD. She is so mean to me it is unbelievable. Not sure when to pick my battles and when to let it go? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:41 PM Flag
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If it makes you feel any better: I work with a lot of recent college graduates and they are all incredibly close with their parents. As far as I can tell many of them talk or text daily and they certainly consult with them on any major life decisions. Try to take this phase in stride and love her unconditionally. She'll come back! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:54 PM Flag
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My dd (15) has started going through this unrecognizable phase at 12.5. Everything I say is wrong, she is always in a terrible mood (with me) was the neatest/cleanest kid and now stuff is thrown all over her room, is nice for 3 seconds only if she needs me to buy her something and if I say no for some reason, I am "the worst mother" and will even call me names... I can ask her nicely (or not nicely) to do something and the result is always the same, she won't do it. And since last year, if I get in her room, she wants to kick me out. I look at photos or videos of 3 years ago and wonder where she went... hope she'll turn around. Her phone is pretty much the one thing that matters to her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 09:17 PM Flag
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I’m the poster above - this could literally have been my post. What do you do when she calls you names? I feel like I draw the line there but the only thing that makes a difference is confiscating her electronics [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 09:26 PM Flag
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pp- sorry for coming back just now. Sometimes I am so frustrated and angry that I say bad things to her... then I feel bad because I should be the adult. But in that moment, its not easy to stay in control. Have tried talking calmly to her afterwards, does not help much. Maybe at first and then another day she's back to the usual. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 05:04 PM Flag
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You are me. She's getting more and more combative and it keeps escalating. I work crazy hours and I wish I had time and patience to be the model teenage mom! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 06:06 PM Flag
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op - my dd is getting there - only talks to me about things she wants me to buy her [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 10:20 PM Flag
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OR: my kids aren't there yet but I've read a lot about this stage. My advice would be to call a family meeting on a sunny Saturday morning and explain using words but not showing negative emotions that when she does X, Y and Z those things are disrespectful to you as a parent and frankly hurtful. You have put a lot into raising her but let her know that you recognize that she did not ask for that and she is her own person. Speak with confidence and certainty but also some warmth and affection. Let her know that the time has come for the nature of your relationship to change a bit. You will do your best to give her space and privacy but in turn she will be expected to speak with respect at all times (including no huffing or eye rolling) and she will be required to follow A, B and C house rules. If she does not then she will (for example) first lose her phone for X amount of time, next lose it for longer, next experience grounding without exceptions and lastly lose the door to her bedroom. Conclude by reaffirming your love for her and reiterating that as she further becomes her own person you ask for the same level of respect that any person should show to another person. Personally I would drop the mike and exit the conversation at that point and then be quick with a smile but less quick with any additional warmth in the coming days and weeks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 10:26 PM Flag
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I always feel bad for boys with bitchy sisters, must be miserable for him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 10:20 PM Flag
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he adores her and hates her. She defends him fiercely and torments him relentlessly [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 02:18 AM Flag
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DD sounds entitled and used to getting her way. Maybe don’t put her up on a pedestal and make her work to earn earn your respect and respect of others. Keep being a parent. You are in control. Take away the phone. No social media until 8th grade. That rule exists for a reason! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 02:16 AM Flag
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not OP but in a similar position. How many weeks of toxic home atmosphere will you tolerate to enforce it? Whatever it takes? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 04:20 PM Flag
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My dd. Following. I will respond tomorrow. Good night UB. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 03:11 AM Flag
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Yes, my son is very rude and combative- and almost 14. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 02:53 PM Flag
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read middle school makeover - I found it helpful. I mostly have said, that was mean, or you've hurt my feelings. other times, I just turn it around by being funny. I will also tell her that I love her so much when she's been shitty. or say -"you're the best!" I've also said that there's no reason to rebel, as I'm totally happy for her to grow up cause I have a lot of plans which include extensive drinking and gambling that's she's holding me back from. just do no argue or fall for it. let this phase pass cause it will. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.11.20, 01:12 AM Flag
[ - ] I don't get it. I'm attractive, funny and a pretty good catch. I'm getting nothing on dating apps. Meanwhile a****** ex DH has been dating one month into separation. I'm not competing with him as I waited two years to date - I was not ready and wanted to take care of me - I'm just befuddled. Should I just quit? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:13 PM Flag
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Which app are you on? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:31 PM Flag
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CMB. I tried Bumble and it feels like they just want you to upgrade and throw you a bone once in a while. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:59 PM Flag
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hang in there. look at it as an adventure and a series of fun evenings out, not a hell-bent mission to find the right guy. lower your expectations and let it flow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:52 PM Flag
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op: I'm getting nothing. I'm not looking for a serious partner. Just a date. I don't plan on marrying ever again and fairly independent and always have been. It's just I've got nothing! Some likes but no one remotely compatible. And anyone I start a conversation with, it's give me your number I want to text you when they can text perfectly fine through the app. And once I say no they go silent. That tells me a lot and glad to be moving on from those. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:59 PM Flag
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I would ask a friend to look at your photo and profile and see what they think [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:01 PM Flag
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I am also sorry to say it is much easier for men and they can date up and down the age spectrum and the younger girls are pretty clueless [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:01 PM Flag
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Are you same age as ex DH? ***Much*** easier for a male 50yo to date than for a female 50yo ( since easier to date down). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:35 PM Flag
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op: that makes sense. Still a dismal situation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:59 PM Flag
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Middle aged guys who want to date generally have an easy enough time that they don't need to use these sites. And if they do they often look for women 8-15+ years younger. The trick is to get out and meet as many people as possible, even in non-dating situations. Very tough right now in light of Covid, obviously, but we'll get there. In the meantime, keep reading good books/articles and watching good shows and films and try to keep up with some hobbies so that you'll have lots of great stuff to talk about when you do get that date. Also, as someone who is 13 years younger than my DH, I say don't knock it 'til you've tried it! We're a very good match. GL. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:51 PM Flag
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get pro photos done. ask a male friend for advice. maybe upgrade to paid stuff if needed? sorry, it's tough for women, but I think once the photos/profile are in place, it can become easier. Also, maybe join some groups (birding, running, etc) to meet people irl, that might be easier than online stuff. I'm 36, but if I were in your situation, I'd try to meet people irl, joining a gym, investors' meet ups, etc. Even if you don't meet someone there, people might help set you up with their friends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 11:30 PM Flag
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Men suck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 12:02 AM Flag
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much easier for men, it sucks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 01:10 AM Flag
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and no don't give up!! keep going and remain open, it's a numbers game. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 01:11 AM Flag
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Try OKCupid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 06:52 AM Flag
[ - ] My gut feel is that NYC public schools will not be able to open in September. Just look at the hoops the private schools are jumping through to try to open. You know there is no way the DOE can pull that off. If public is remote-only, do you think that will cause private schools to stay remote-only as well? 90 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:12 PM Flag
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Absolutely not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:17 PM Flag
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The DOE cant be remote only. There is an issue with childcare. Ultimately, parents cant work without childcare. They need to freaking go back! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:17 PM Flag
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I hear you, but you know they won't reopen without following public health guidelines. Everything that has come out requires very small classes and other social distancing requirements. How can the DOE comply with that given how overcrowded the schools are? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:20 PM Flag
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They are proposing a number of different options including hybrid models (remote + in person) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:26 PM Flag
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I cant - it is too depressing to think of no school/no normalcy in the fall [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:34 PM Flag
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i'll totally take a hybrid (like 2 days in person, 3 at home) at this point [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:38 PM Flag
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ME TOO! but how does that work for the teachers? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:43 PM Flag
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np. maybe some grades come some days, other grades other days. Like K, 2, and 4 some days, 1, 3, 5 other days. Cuts down on teacher exposure to groups they are not working with. No idea how it would work with MS or HS if teacher are working with multiple grades. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:10 PM Flag
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Who watches the teacher's kids? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:55 PM Flag
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no idea. "camps", I guess, like they had for essential worker kids when school was closed, if they are scheduled to be remote on a day when a parent is teaching. which maybe should be open to any parent working and needing childcare. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:02 PM Flag
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They find a way to deal just like other working parents will . It’s hard all over. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 09:41 AM Flag
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The private schools are proposing this too, but they are also installing cameras in all classrooms and making large investments in technology to make this possible. This isn't happening in publics. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:42 PM Flag
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exactly so how do you livestream - it is not possible... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:00 PM Flag
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Zoom with kids who are at home+teacher. You don't really need to see the entire room. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:21 PM Flag
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this. there is just no way i can imagine that schools dont open. the city has started opening, and by the end of the summer will be totally open. it is just not logical/possible to have people working and no school. remember that MOST NYC parents cant afford a nanny! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:14 PM Flag
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this is what Im hanging my hat on! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:33 PM Flag
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yes. i just cant see any other option. i think all the moms on here and on the FB UES moms group are living on a different planet (thinking schools wont open). it just is not possible. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:44 PM Flag
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Completely agree with this. If parents are expected to go back to work, schools will open. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 01:00 AM Flag
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And what if many parents are allowed to WFH? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 01:53 AM Flag
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But too many jobs can’t be done from home, especially now that things are re-opening. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 09:42 AM Flag
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Sadly, a lot of those in-[person jobs (like retail, hospitality, etc) are probably not going to exist. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 03:21 PM Flag
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1 word. UFT. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 10:58 PM Flag
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What??? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 12:53 AM Flag
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What??? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 12:53 AM Flag
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The UFT teachers union will be huge driver of how this plays out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 12:38 PM Flag
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School does not equal childcare! They are not going to risk lives (literally) so that they can babysit your kids while you work. Get a nanny. There’s no way it’s going to be five days/week of school for kids, so get over it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 01:52 AM Flag
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i have a nanny. im talking about the majority of the nyc that cannot possibly afford a nanny. some 20% of nyc school kids are underfed let alone can have a nanny. this isnt about babysitting this is about actual survival for the majority of working parents in nyc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 10:54 AM Flag
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Oh I see. Maybe they’ll set up supervised indoor area/camps for kids, with meal distribution. But I can’t really imagine them opening up schools just to occupy kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 03:20 PM Flag
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"Get a nanny"??? What world do you LIVE in? I certainly can't do it. I am barely making it paycheck to paycheck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 05:40 PM Flag
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i know. i dont get this attitude. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 06:59 PM Flag
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I agree. I'm just not sure how they could open. Look at the camp/childcare guidelines which mandate 10 children per classroom. My daughter's class has 32 children. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:21 PM Flag
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absolutely yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 06:42 PM Flag
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I think they will go back on alternating days. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:02 PM Flag
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The privates generally follow the publics' lead, though they might not admit it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:39 PM Flag
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I think they are worried about liability or bad press. They just see the possible news articles if there is an outbreak there where someone dies: "XX School decided to have its students return in person, despite the fact that NYC publics remained closed over concern that in-person school would lead to coronavirus deaths. That decision led to 50 students being infected, one of whom died...." Hard to go against the flow in this kind of situation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:44 PM Flag
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I think this has to be considered. Private schools aren't known for taking risk. They close for snow even when DOE does not, but they ALWAYS close if DOE closes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 11:20 PM Flag
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except in this case the privates are charging 55k for online education - they will lose people [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:45 PM Flag
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This, especially since the parents won't be able to network. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:48 PM Flag
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People won't pay -- already withholding payments waiting to see what happens. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:15 PM Flag
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our private has said they will not follow the publics' lead - as long as health / state guidelines permit opening, they will do so (with necessary modifications). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:00 PM Flag
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But since the state is opening, isn't that following the DOE's lead? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:06 PM Flag
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Same at ours. Ours will also have cameras in rooms to allow for remote learning for any kids who have to miss school due to an exposure or whose parents simply don't feel comfortable sending them back. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:07 PM Flag
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Which school said this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:37 PM Flag
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speyer HOS said this in a zoom meeting for parents. the school has small classes (16-20) and lots of space. there will have a camera on the live class. one teacher will be interacting with live learners and one with remote learners who can't (or don't want to) be there in person. specials classrooms, cafeteria, gym, will be repurposed as learning space and specials teachers will rotate to the kids. lunch in the classroom. lots of logistics to work out, esp transportation, but they think they will be able to make it work so long as the state allows school to be open. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 02:56 PM Flag
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One of the unmentioned benefits of private is being able to network with the other parents, and whether or not this can be done without drop offs, pickups and play dates at each others' homes remains to be seen. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 07:51 PM Flag
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Perhaps it's an unmentioned benefit but it is far far (FAR) below the benefit of in person school. Which is paramount. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:16 PM Flag
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Network? You mean for professional reasons? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:51 PM Flag
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Obviously. And so the DCs will know The Right People. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 03:08 AM Flag
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np: i read it more as the community network. At my dcs' privates there are 60 kids per grade and we know every single family. I feel completely comfortable calling any of them for last minute pickup drop off and vice versa. That "network" allows for more collaboration in figuring this stuff out. I have no idea if this exists int he same way in large publics. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 01:14 PM Flag
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I can't feel good about schools staying closed when I read things like this: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/09/nyregion/coronavirus-nyc-child-abuse.html?action=click&module=Well&pgtype=Homepage§ion=New%20York. They need to find a way back, maybe not full-time right away, but just staying shut isn't an option. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:10 PM Flag
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These responses are all over the place. I think all re-open plans really need to be in place by early August, right? That is TWO months from now! It's hard to see the DOE pulling this together in time. Alternating days and hybrid remote learning is complicated. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:40 PM Flag
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they have been working through this for months. They have to open from an economic standpoint. NYC will be deeply hurt if they dont open. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 09:20 PM Flag
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Private schools are independent schools. They plan on reopening and their intentions are independent of what public schools do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 08:41 PM Flag
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+1. Privates typically follow the DOE for snow days and such because of teacher and admin childcare. Our private has said that they are already looking at what to do with teacher and admin kids who attend public in case publics don't open or open on some sort of hybrid model. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 09:28 PM Flag
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I don't think they can re-open without department of health approval of the plans- that is what our k-12 told us. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 10:40 PM Flag
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Correct, but do you think they will really take the risk of re-opening when public is not? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 11:20 PM Flag
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They don't share the same risks. They don't have 32 kids in a class. They don't have the same facilities. They don't have unionized teachers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.09.20, 11:47 PM Flag
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It's all about population density. Compared to public schools, private schools have a much much smaller student body overall and much smaller class sizes. Unlike public schools, private schools have the means and resources to be diligent in keeping facilities sanitized and disinfected throughout the day, every day. Private school students represent less than 5% of all students in NYC. So only 5% of the entire NYC student population will be out an about while all else will do online learning. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 02:57 AM Flag
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They can "sanitize and disinfect" all day and all night, but the virus spreads among PEOPLE. People coming together in groups, particularly indoors. One infected kid shows up and the outbreak begins, no matter how much they cleaned the desks. If the public schools remain closed for health/safety reasons, no private school wants the negative publicity that will come with this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 12:13 PM Flag
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Our private wants to open with about 8 kids per class. kids would stay in classroom for the majority of the day. Lunch would be brought in. All specials teachers would travel to each class. Kids would still have playground time outdoors, but only with their own small class and playground would be cleaned between each class going. Is it perfect - no. But I am willing to send my kid. I can't keep her locked up for potentially over a year. She needs to play with other kids. At 6, I think learning social skills is actually more important then reading, math, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 12:45 PM Flag
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I guess when you're paying that money, you're kind of desperate to wring some sort of value from it. Maybe the privates are willing to take the risk of the optics associated with a potential outbreak in order to deliver SOMETHING to the parents paying that tuition. I mean, nothing you said does much to mitigate the "one infected kid shows up and the outbreak begins" scenario, but they're trying. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.10.20, 02:28 PM Flag
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Listen you're really trying to self justify here, but everyone wants kids in school. It's not doable in public schools but it is doable in private schools. The public schools will not be a good place to be for the next few years. [ Reply | More