• Filter the conversation
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] What time is your 11 yo school night bed time ? DC has to be up by 7am and says all friends stay up past 9. To me that sounds late for weekday. 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:08 PM Flag
»
What grade is this? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:09 PM Flag
»
6th grade [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:12 PM Flag
»
In 6th I think we had 9pm. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:43 PM Flag
»
Needed 9 hours [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:44 PM Flag
»
9:30pm, up at 7:30pm [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:14 PM Flag
»
last year my 6th grader was in bed by 930/10. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:19 PM Flag
»
same here, and up by 7 am [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:24 PM Flag
»
Goal is to have him asleep by 9:30 but it is 10 more than I like. Up at 7. Mine don’t need 10 hours sleep but they need more than 9. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:26 PM Flag
»
I have two 10 year olds. The goal is in bed at 9:30, asleep by 10. Sometimes, homework gets in the way. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:31 PM Flag
»
That's late. I think I would prioritize sleep over homework. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 06:59 PM Flag
»
Depends on when they wake up. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 07:16 PM Flag
»
Presumably they go to school at the normal hour. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 07:31 PM Flag
»
9pm most nights, up at 6:30am. But when she has a late practice it could be 10pm. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:55 PM Flag
»
9:30. Up by 6:30 [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 06:16 PM Flag
»
My 9 year old is 8:30, the 11 year old is 9 and the 13 year old is in his room at 9, he can read until later if he needs to (he's nocturnal, I swear). This is best case, though, and we are only in the second week of school. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 06:38 PM Flag
»
In bed at 8:30, reads for 15-20 minutes thereafter. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 06:59 PM Flag
»
mine has stayed up till 11 since really young unfortunately and also gets up at that time. older now and still only gets 8 or less hours of sleep a night unless it's the weekend. totally healthy, high energy dc who gets good grades, so we just go with it. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.10.19, 12:06 AM Flag
»
Lights out at 9:30, often falls asleep at 10, wakes at 7am. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.10.19, 02:07 AM Flag
[ - ] I am really starting to hate my colleague. I do half his work, am being asked to review and fix his work by my supervisor and now I was informed by the boss that he complained that I review his work. He is such an ingrate, if I didn’t fix his work it would be all wrong. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:01 PM Flag
»
You have the perfect opportunity to get out of it now! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:03 PM Flag
»
Not really. I like my job but for him and I think he is the one who should leave. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:03 PM Flag
»
^ oh, you meant I shouldn’t be asked to review his work in future? Maybe... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:05 PM Flag
»
No, I meant that if he’s complaining to the boss, now is the right time to rehash this. If you don’t want to review his work anymore, you have an opening to discuss it. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:05 PM Flag
»
This! Say you are glad he raised that question, you feel that the current set up doesn't work for you too. Then ask for what you really want. Do you want to take on some of his responsibility and thus ask for promotion/raise later? Is there anyone else who can review his work so you don't have to? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 06:05 PM Flag
»
You've posted about this incessantly. You need to do something about it. Talk to your boss. "How would you like me to proceed? If I don't review his work, it's wrong and takes more time for me to do my job. I think the best solution here would be for us to redistribute some work, and for my title to be adjusted accordingly." [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:09 PM Flag
»
Stop doing his job. Let him fail. If he makes mistakes he's responsible. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:25 PM Flag
»
THIS. Particularly if he doesn't like or appreciate your help- that actually makes it easier for you. Tell your supervisor that your colleague refuses to let you review his work and let all be revealed. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:35 PM Flag
»
My supervisor doesn’t have the specific expertise to even question our work. That’s why I am asked to review it. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:41 PM Flag
»
You shouldn't do anything that you're not getting paid to do. So don't do it. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 06:11 PM Flag
[ - ] DD has tons of shoes she doesn’t need. Now she wants to buy an additional pair from her pocket money. Should I let her? It’s a complete waste but then again it’s her own money. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:00 PM Flag
»
How old? IMHO, she can use her own money for whatever she wants. But also, there can be a serious conversation to encourage her to think about how she makes her choices, the pros and cons, etc. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:08 PM Flag
»
I'd say no. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:13 PM Flag
»
*or have her sell ones she doesn't wear on a resale app or FB--my teen dd sells her clothing and gets $15 for jeans etc. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:13 PM Flag
»
I would use the same process I use with toys. You want another one, then you havce to get rid of one. Although I love shoes and have a ton I don't need. So this would be harder for me to justify. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:20 PM Flag
»
Check out the book "The Opposite of Spoiled." Author argues that kids should be allowed to do whatever they want with their "spend" money (among their "save" and "give" that the also have from their allowance). [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:59 PM Flag
[ - ] WWYD? DS 18, college freshman. He is a highly accomplished person in so many ways. But he is super modest about it to the point of under-estimating himself. Here's an example from HS. He was so distraught about the way he performed in an audition for all-state orchestra. He locked himself in his room for hours and was crying. Turned out not only did he make the all-state, he made first chair. Further, he does not even like to tell people about his accomplishments and does not want ME to tell anyone. He says, "This is not a bragfest." Today he found out about something that's a big accomplishment. I want to share the news with a friend, but I know he'd be upset if he knew I told my friend. On the one hand, I want to respect his wishes. It's his life. But on the other hand, oby any objective, rational basis, it is not bragging or unreasonable to tell a good friend (a friend who you always share the ups and downs of parenting with) about your child's accomplishment. What do you think? 30 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:53 PM Flag
»
Poor kid puts a lot of pressure on himself. I’m like that and want to teach my kids it’s not that serious. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:56 PM Flag
»
Yes, he does. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:08 PM Flag
»
If he doesn't want you to tell, don't tell. You want him to be able to trust you. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:58 PM Flag
»
I think you tell your friend and tell them to keep quiet about it. Surely your friend knows your son. And your adult out of the house son doesn’t control what you share with your friend. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:59 PM Flag
»
Why is it so important for you to share this with your friend? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:59 PM Flag
»
I don't HAVE to. But don't you talk to your friends about your dc and how they are doing? This piece of news is on the level of, he was accepted to a top research program that presents at major conferences (that's not it, just an analogous situation). To NOT tell people who are most important in your life and who care about him is like intentionally keeping information from them. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:05 PM Flag
»
So tell. Nbd [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:07 PM Flag
»
I don’t really think this rises to the level of withholding information; you can just say he’s doing really well and is in a great program without getting specific. Since he’s clearly uncomfortable with you sharing, I’d keep it within the family. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:10 PM Flag
»
My mom is like you. She needs to go share everything we do, even when we ask her not to. It makes it all about her. Respect your son's wishes. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:10 PM Flag
»
OK, thanks. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:15 PM Flag
»
His desire for privacy for things HE does with HIS life trumps your desire to talk about his accomplishments with your friends. You not telling people isn't withholding information from them, that's you prettying it up so you don't feel badly violating his confidence. It's his life. Sorry you are frustrated that you can't brag about him but please respect his wishes lest he stops telling you things (or, more importantly, he realizes that you aren't respecting his autonomy). [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:13 PM Flag
»
Thanks, you're right. I just can't understand his mindset. It's not like I'm telling people confidential information or highly personal information. I would never do that. What he's doing is public information. His name will be on the website. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:17 PM Flag
»
He sounds like his internally motivated rather than externally motivated - this is fantastic, but it also makes the external validation (which is what you are focused on) completely meaningless to him. And if he faces so much internal pressure, perhaps the idea of layering expectations from external sources on top of that is too much to deal with. Or maybe he's just one of these kids we are raising with these rock solid self esteems (which we can't relate to since we weren't raised as they are), who legitimately don't care what other people think. Either way, he sounds like an absolutely fantastic kid. I'm proud of him! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:21 PM Flag
»
OP - aw, thanks. He actually IS "an absolutely fantastic kid." I don't take credit for him. He's always been this way. It's who he is. I guess I have to quash my urge to tell my good friends. Never mind post on social media. THAT is something he would NEVER, EVER want me to do. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:25 PM Flag
»
+1, and I’d add that it’s possible knowing this information is out to everyone you know would make him even more anxious about performing well. He seems really stressed out. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:17 PM Flag
»
op - thanks for your input. Yes, he is really stressed out. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:26 PM Flag
»
Don't tell but see if he needs some therapy. He's got anxiety. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:14 PM Flag
»
OP - you are right. He does have anxiety. How did you connect this behavior to anxiety? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:19 PM Flag
»
Crying, over wrought about perceived "failure". Hard on himself. Perfection struggles. He sounds incredibly gifted and talented but kids like that are hard on themselves. Competition in the music field is very harsh (we are involved in the music industry). Make sure he has an outlet (not you!) to talk about this. You're too close and he may feel like a failure sharing his feelings to you or family. I bet he'll feel relief over this. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:23 PM Flag
»
op -ok, yeah. You are right. he is very hard on himself. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:27 PM Flag
»
My mom was also like this. I'm 43 and still resentful that she treated my life as fodder for her conversations. It is a form of narcissism to see his information as yours. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:15 PM Flag
»
+1000 [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:19 PM Flag
»
I don't see this that way. Kids should respect their parents to some degree. No one accomplishes everything in a vacuum. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:26 PM Flag
»
I love your DS and find his humility super encouraging, particularly in this day and age (and country, frankly) where bragging and advertising your wonderfulness is such common practice. And disgusting, if you ask me. Now, the fact that he is so hard on himself might be another issue. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:15 PM Flag
»
op - lol. TY. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:20 PM Flag
»
Does he still live at home? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:48 PM Flag
»
No. He's away at college. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:54 PM Flag
»
where? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 06:16 PM Flag
»
so funny -- of course you turn her post into what-college-did-he-get-into. This board is so tragic [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 06:36 PM Flag
»
Then he has no say in your conversations [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 06:48 PM Flag
[ - ] If you feel Stuy is a great fit for your DC, can you share why ? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:52 PM Flag
»
Study mom -watching this one... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:00 PM Flag
»
Ha ha Stuy autocorrects to study. Love [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:04 PM Flag
[ - ] I have 60k that I need to keep stable and 10knto invest. Any thoughts on where? Was thinking Ally for the 60k and maybe Disney or amazon stock? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:40 PM Flag
»
If you really don't need to touch it, put it in an annuity with your bank. It will be locked up for several years, but it's earning interest reliably. I put a lot of my personal money into a 7 year annuity because I'm conservative and I'm in my 40s. I wouldn't do anything like that with my money if there as a chance i needed it or that I can't expect to live for 7 more years. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:02 PM Flag
»
annuities are generally a terrible idea. The costs are high,which eats into the already low interest. Put the 60K in a high yield savings account (the rates are about 2% right now), and the 10K into a low cost, broad market index fund. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 06:39 PM Flag
»
for 10k don't pick any individual stock but rather just buy an index. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 06:58 PM Flag
[ - ] Need advice: There's a person in our neighborhood who's really pushy on social media, following accounts of multiple friends (& vice versa,) liking every post of all of ours etc. I had a bad feeling about him, & googled his name. Turns out he's a state-registered sex offender on a state site for it. He made me pretty uncomfortable before, now he really does. He's always out & about with his kids. Do I tell my friends? What do I say to HIM (seriously) if he asks what the problem is? TIA. 47 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:36 PM Flag
»
The first thing I would do is unfollow him and block him on social media. Do a slow fade. Why would he 'ask you what the problem is'? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:38 PM Flag
»
Why start shit? Just ignore online stuff. Be neighborly. What was his offense? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:41 PM Flag
»
Convicted for rape and in another case for electronic surveillance for sexual arousal. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:44 PM Flag
»
How long ago? Does he work? Have spouse now? How old are your kids? Are they playmates of his kids? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:46 PM Flag
»
Not starting up anything. IF someone gave me a really weird vibe and THEN I found this out... I would absolutely block and unfollow. If I ran into him on street I would say hello and keep going. This is yet another reason why I am NOT on social media. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 07:33 PM Flag
»
He's very pushy, & always coming up to interact with the moms. He acts like he's best pals with all the women, very front & center. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:43 PM Flag
»
He's a boundary-breaker. You have to be sure to set strict boundaries. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:59 PM Flag
»
THIS!! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.10.19, 02:27 PM Flag
»
You don't owe him any explanation. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:39 PM Flag
»
I would not spread gossip. That’s me. But, I’m also of the mindset that the sex registry is silly. It gives false sense of security. I find no comfort in knowing about the one who was convicted because I know there could be two more living in the hood who haven’t gotten caught. If someone gives me the creeps, I pay attention. Now that you know the deal figure out how to handle best with your children’s age/stage. But I would keep this at hone [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:39 PM Flag
»
TY, I agree with you. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:41 PM Flag
»
It's not gossip. It is accurate public information that's important for people to know. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:00 PM Flag
»
@@ [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:03 PM Flag
»
WTF does this mean? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:09 PM Flag
»
Did you know that a 21yo who kisses a 17 yo can be placed on it. Not saying most don't deserve it but there are other situations. Your priest, hs coach or other respected member of the community can likewise be a creep. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:16 PM Flag
»
NP I know this and it’s one of the reasons I don’t use the list. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:46 PM Flag
»
+1 The list is useless. It prevents study, treatment, and reintegration of serious offenders; punishes young, one-time offenders almost for life after doing their time; and gives people a false sense of security instead of alerting them to the fact that any neighbor, teacher, coach, pastor, friend, or co-worker could be a sexual predator who simply hasn't been caught. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.10.19, 06:13 AM Flag
»
give me a break. that is the exception. And these are the 2 times he was caught! Hes been covicted for TWO different offenses. You sound guilty of something if you are looking for loopholes here [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 07:20 PM Flag
»
OP FWIW, one conviction was rape in the 3rd degree, & the other was for unlawful electronic surveillance for sexual arousal. It's his face in the mug shots. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:40 PM Flag
»
So he likes teen girls or boys? Wonder where he hid camera? This is a no brained in keeping shades drawn btw [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:45 PM Flag
»
Brainer [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:45 PM Flag
»
Print out information on flyers and mail to all neighbors and people he interacts with. This is information that the community should know. Also, if he is a registered sex offender, I thought there were rules as to how close he can be to children, schools, playgrounds, etc. I'd certainly like to know. Blocking is easy. Do it. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:56 PM Flag
»
If it’s public info, the neighbors should already have access. Don’t print fliers, OP. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:00 PM Flag
»
Yes, this is bad advice. OMG. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:16 PM Flag
»
Having access to info and knowing it are two different things. How would you feel if you said nothing and something happened to a child in your neighborhood? As they say - if you see something, say something. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 06:02 PM Flag
»
Please [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 06:48 PM Flag
»
Omg [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:00 PM Flag
»
Gotta be troll set up post [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:00 PM Flag
»
Sorry, it's not. It's the 1st time I've found myself in this situation, & I turned to UB b. I can't just run by friends obvs. since they'd be involved/impacted. But cool for you to make that assumption. -OP [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.10.19, 01:13 AM Flag
»
i would anonymously mail the info to the principal of the school. He may not be allowed on school property for all you know. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 07:21 PM Flag
»
His children attend. Wth. He can’t be banned from picking up his kids. He may not be able to LIVE within certain distance (which I find absurd) but come on... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 11:54 PM Flag
»
Yes he can [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.10.19, 12:09 AM Flag
»
He absolutely can be banned. Often they are banned from unsupervised visits with their own kids. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.10.19, 01:27 AM Flag
»
THIS. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.10.19, 03:33 PM Flag
»
Yes he can. Why do people like you say things with such certainty when you don't know them to be true!? Parents have absolutely been prohibited from picking up kids. There is legislation about it! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.10.19, 03:33 PM Flag
»
Are you sure it's really him??? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:16 PM Flag
»
There's no question whatsoever. It's his name, face, address, etc. etc. all on an NY government website. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.10.19, 01:14 AM Flag
»
The only question(s) could be, imo, would be how he'd explain it. But I don't really care what he has to say in re: the convictions, b. he is already creepy. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.10.19, 01:15 AM Flag
»
He can’t explain raping someone and videotaping someone covertly for sexual purposes. He’s sick. No way will he ever ask you about any of it anyway. The minute u give the cold shoulder he will know you know. That’s good, because he will stay away [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.10.19, 01:30 AM Flag
»
+1 [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.10.19, 01:43 AM Flag
»
block him in every way and tell your frinds. it will spread. i would want to know. Imagine sending your child there for a playdate. Hes a predator! jfc. who CARES what thinks of you. he will nevcer ask why u blocked him. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 07:19 PM Flag
»
The fear is that he is a known rapist AND predator who has a methodology. OP doesn't want it to happen to her. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.10.19, 01:45 AM Flag
»
thats why she should cut off contact. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.10.19, 05:58 PM Flag
»
Unfriend, unfollow, block. If he asks irl say you "prune your feed all the time" and do NOT discuss further. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.10.19, 02:26 AM Flag
»
OP, TY [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.10.19, 01:09 PM Flag
»
These responses surprise me! Absolutely tell other mothers. You have an ethical obligation to do so if you have reason to believe they or their children are encountering him in a social capacity. This is public factual information, not gossip. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.10.19, 03:32 PM Flag
»
np. ITA. Just tell one mom, I am sure it will soon spread. I would like to know. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.10.19, 06:08 PM Flag
[ - ] Looking for a private chef to come over 1x/week and prepare a few family dinners for the week. Where can I find such a person? I'm on the UWS. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:30 PM Flag
»
Watching this. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:52 PM Flag
»
Website of Culinary Institute of America(CIA) Grads often browse for Job Opportunities. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:20 PM Flag
»
www.chefjimmythomas.com [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 06:07 PM Flag
[ - ] What sort of scissors would be good for snipping the little threads that come loose on a hem or a seam? 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:25 PM Flag
»
Little thread scissors. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:36 PM Flag
»
OP: lol. I am trying to find a pair on amazon, but not sure what to search for. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:00 PM Flag
»
I posted below that I carried a small Swiss Army knife in the pocket of my scrub pants: super useful. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:28 PM Flag
»
They are sometimes called tailors points. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 06:03 PM Flag
»
I just looked it up. They look very sharp, so if you're thinking about carrying them around they'll cut a hole in your pocket. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 06:54 PM Flag
»
Any scissors. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:39 PM Flag
»
OP: I tried shears for hair, but they weren't precise enough. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:59 PM Flag
»
Get sewing scissors. Michaels. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:17 PM Flag
»
When I nannied I kept a small Swiss Army knife in the pocket of my scrub pants, and I used the little scissor a lot. The bottle opener came in handy too. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:41 PM Flag
»
nail clippers. And use a drop of clear nailpolish on the loose thread on the underside of the garment to keep it from unraveling further. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:06 PM Flag
»
This! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:56 PM Flag
»
OP: I tried nail clippers, but they were not sharp enough and ended up pulling the threads more. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:58 PM Flag
»
Then the small nail scissors. I also have hair cutting scissors that are extremely sharp. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 06:00 PM Flag
»
This is one of the most important posts I've ever seen on UB. Or on any message board. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:07 PM Flag
»
OP: Thanks! lol [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:22 PM Flag
»
sewing scissors is what you want. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 06:04 PM Flag
»
These are the type I use. https://www.amazon.com/Embroidery-Scissors-Snips-Thread-Kretzer/dp/B016MJUH0K/ref=sr_1_4?crid=3RYUPUTX5T3DB&keywords=thread+snips+scissors&qid=1568054959&s=gateway&sprefix=Thread+snips%2Caps%2C150&sr=8-4 [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 06:50 PM Flag
»
I usually my lighter on those [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.10.19, 12:10 AM Flag
»
I'd wind up with burn holes all over. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.10.19, 12:41 PM Flag
»
Embroidery scissors. They come basic or fancy, but the blades are very small and fine. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.10.19, 03:33 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone quit smoking using hallucinogens? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:25 PM Flag
»
How much do you smoke? What else have you tried? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:48 PM Flag
»
No. LSD and shrooms made me want to smoke more. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:49 PM Flag
[ - ] If any medical professionals are here, is there such a thing as an OTC kit for testing your iron? I feel cold, tired and achy again, the way I did when I was anemic. Or should I just see my doctor? TIA. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:22 PM Flag
»
Go give blood. They check [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:23 PM Flag
»
Just see doctor. I had anemia and thyroid both. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:23 PM Flag
»
You don't have to check iron. You get a CBC (complete blood count) and see if you're anemic. There are many causes of anemia, iron deficiency being just one of them. I'd also get a thyroid panel. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:29 PM Flag
»
OP - OK, thanks guys! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:35 PM Flag
[ - ] Hunter High School application question. The site says that application is open today at 10:00 am but I cannot find any link the application. Clearly I don't qualify to apply ;) Please help 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:20 PM Flag
»
Did you get a letter or email telling you that you qualify? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:22 PM Flag
»
no, but I looked at the cut off and dc met the cut off. I think they verify the score after the application is submitted, no? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:24 PM Flag
»
Same here. Can’t find the link. I think it’s not up yet [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:28 PM Flag
»
not up yet [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:32 PM Flag
»
Same here, I bet it's not up yet. These cutoff scores seem low, i feel like everyone in the city will qualify. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:33 PM Flag
»
I think the cut off is based on 90% or above. What was the cut off last year? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:41 PM Flag
»
625/625 so it went up by a few points [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:59 PM Flag
»
There is a purple tab "Testing Eligibility" in the lower part of the page. Click that. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:57 PM Flag
»
OP: I found the link, it's in the "Testing Eligibility" section on the bottom. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:40 PM Flag
[ - ] We live in Midtown East and are applying for middle school. Not looking TT. Any advantage to the west side schools (Dwight, Columbia Grammar) over Birch and UNIS, both of which we toured already and loved? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:04 PM Flag
»
Find out whether grade 6 is an entry point. If a school only has 1-2 spots, you're probably wasting your time. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 06:29 PM Flag
»
I'm not slamming any person's choice in schools, but I do suggest that if you live in that area you also take a tour of public MS - D2 has some very good ones - so that you know all of your options. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 06:37 PM Flag
»
OP - agree completely. Looking at Salk, Clinton, 75 Morton, and Lower Manhattan Community. DS has IEP and good grades so he’s hard to place. That’s why we are thinking private. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 10:32 PM Flag
»
Why does an IEP make him mars to place? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.10.19, 02:09 AM Flag
»
Look at School of the Future. They are not a natural fit for the UB archetype, but work with quirky kids really well. It IS a very hippy-dippy school and not for everyone. DS did very well there and stayed for HS [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.10.19, 02:21 AM Flag
»
DD was in the inclusion class at Salk one year: the more typical kids like having the extra teacher. Try not to drink the "small class size and individual attention are always better" Kool-Aid. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.10.19, 12:27 PM Flag
[ - ] Have the September blues...11th grade daughter got outed from her group of friends, no real reason and middle school son has some social stuff going on too. Work has been awful and I don’t know how to cure anything. It’s all so painful. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:04 PM Flag
»
It will all be fine by Christmas. Hold on til then [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:05 PM Flag
»
Thank you. I am actually depressed. Can cry at a moments notice. Thank you. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:09 PM Flag
»
Breathe. It’s ok to be sad. That’s a normal part of life. Without lows there wouldn’t be highs. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:11 PM Flag
»
And, I don’t know your circumstance - but if applicable - don’t join the rat race. Don’t play. Your children don’t have to be the best at everything. They don’t have to be the best at anything. They need to be good people. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:13 PM Flag
»
love this (np). I need to tell myself this more often. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:19 PM Flag
»
Np: Thank you for posting this. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:38 PM Flag
»
Thanks , I am not one of those moms - I just want my kids to have a friend or two that doesn’t make them insecure and is reliable. Not as easy as one would think. Thank you for your response. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:38 PM Flag
»
This weekend sucked for us,too. DS learned he’s struggling in the EC that he puts all his self esteem in. Good learning experience, but so hard to watch and support. Suffice it to say, he’s not Mr. Popular.... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:09 PM Flag
»
I know the feeling. Summer was pretty laid back although I worked all summer. Have a major personal project due at the end of October, helping DD apply to high schools, unreasonable amount of work at work, and experiencing some seasonal depression/blahs. I just have to take it day by day, as cliché as it sounds. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:10 PM Flag
»
I think you mean ousted? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.10.19, 12:35 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone else have a kid who had trouble with the start of high school (new school where she doesn't know anyone and complains about being sad all the time). Any good advice? How long does it take until she turns it around. 38 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.09.19, 03:56 PM Flag
»
How many days of class? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 03:58 PM Flag
»
3rd day. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:00 PM Flag
»
np; She's fine. Just tell her to smile, Does anyone know anyone? What grade? Freshman? Aren't they all new to one another? My dd was a mess b/c her friends all had different period but all together while she got the one without a friend. She did fine after a few weeks. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:02 PM Flag
»
Would you care to say what school do moms there can offer tips? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:03 PM Flag
»
It's a NYC SHS. She doesn't know anyone in her grade. The other kids are all new too, though some may have come in knowing a couple of kids from middle school. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:11 PM Flag
»
Stuy? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:15 PM Flag
»
This is us but it's my son. He is kind of shy too so that doesn't help. I keep telling him he needs to join some clubs so he can get to know people. It's still early. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:20 PM Flag
»
OP: I keep trying to tell her that everyone else is shy too! They are all too scared to interact. She said all the kids at her lunch table were on their phones! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:23 PM Flag
»
Of course they are. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:24 PM Flag
»
Everyone isn’t shy. You lose credibility there. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:27 PM Flag
»
OP: Ok fine, but you get what I mean. Everyone is nervous. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:38 PM Flag
»
DD went to one of the large SHS, and EVERYBODY is getting to know everyone else in the beginning. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:43 PM Flag
»
If it's HSAS, have her find my dd, the tall friendly blonde one (there aren't' too many). DD is a people magnet who loves to bring in the shyer kids to her group. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 06:49 PM Flag
»
Well, yes, but middle school. We just moved out of the city, so new school, new house, new town, and I thought it was going well for the first three days. Then the weekend was rough--very upset, tears, anxiety, and no sleeping. I need some advice too! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:01 PM Flag
»
OP: So I guess this reaction is normal, even though its not fun! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:11 PM Flag
»
NP - you need to let them work it out, just be encouraging, say it will take time [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:02 PM Flag
»
I strongly disagree with in context of SHS. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:26 PM Flag
»
me too [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:30 PM Flag
»
So if you disagree, whats a better approach? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:38 PM Flag
»
I asked op if it was my child’s school. Crickets. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:43 PM Flag
»
my son went thru this. he was pretty isolated until about winter break; his breakthrough moment was participating in an extracurricular where he really shined and the kids gravitated to him. he's very happy at school now (has been at the school two years, this is his third). [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:10 PM Flag
»
Maybe connect with guidance counselor? They may have some tips? I wish schools had friendship tables where kids who are seeking friends can go sit down with their lunch and find a buddy. Some will be the ones lonely but others often enjoy helping others. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:18 PM Flag
»
SHS don’t have this [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:21 PM Flag
»
No guidance counselor? But yes, most schools don't have that. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:25 PM Flag
»
The lunch table [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:28 PM Flag
»
Is it her first choice school? Did the teachers scare the crap out of her with HW? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:25 PM Flag
»
OP: Yes first choice and Yes they scared the crap out of her. Hasn't had so much HW yet, but they are scaring her with their tone. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:48 PM Flag
»
Just feed up and say stuy lol [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:01 PM Flag
»
OP: Not stuy [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 06:01 PM Flag
»
So glad you posted. DD (12) said everything was fine the first week, then got teary and confessed yesterday that she's sitting alone at lunch, and doesn't have classes with anyone she thinks she might like. She claims there are already entrenched social groups, which I find hard to believe considering that everyone is new to the school and it draws from a large area (Chicago). Trying to be supportive, but I feel for her. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:37 PM Flag
»
she will be fine - she should pick a couple of activities to join as soon as possible, she should force herself to smile and ask "what middle school did you go to?" or "how are you getting to school" a few times a day. she will be fine. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:47 PM Flag
»
Nope. It’s not a normal environment. It’s abusive Stockholm syndrome. It takes some getting used to [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:02 PM Flag
»
my dd is at a shs, and that's nonsense. It is more stressful than your average high school. It's also challenging, and exciting, and fun. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:25 PM Flag
»
Tech? They have the best balance [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:50 PM Flag
»
no, bronx science. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 06:05 PM Flag
»
OP: thanks for this. That Stockholm syndrome comment was not what I needed today! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 06:00 PM Flag
»
Are there other outliers? There must be other kids who aren't on their phones who are looking to connect. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 06:28 PM Flag
»
I'm applying to both middle and high school this year for my dcs and you bet your ass I'm looking at extra curricula's too. So important people. Get your kids to sign up for a team sport, school newspaper, model UN - something. It will click. I remember one of my friends from HS admitted to having lunch in the bathroom stall until she found the club that we all belonged to. They have to get over their anxiety and join. Good luck to you. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 09:42 PM Flag
[ - ] Has anyone used care.com to find occasional sitters? Do you do background checks on them or just call references? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.09.19, 03:51 PM Flag
»
I use sittercity.com and search the names of local colleges in my area to find college girls to sit. I haven't done background checks but we do call a reference. Have had very good luck so far and had sweet and trustworthy sitters. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:00 PM Flag
[ - ] Any moms of 4th grade girls on (or 5th)? DD has a mix of friends and it's interesting to see how different they are in terms of their online/phone presence. Some of them are still pretty sheltered and then some of them have their own phones instagram/snapchapt/tiktok etc. I don't want my DD to feel left out but it seems so soon for all that. Any thoughts? 30 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.09.19, 03:45 PM Flag
»
I'm a 5th grade mom of a boy and I was amazed hearing from a mom friend of a daughter last year that our class is same as you describe. Some girls with iPhone 10s and social media, some with noting. As far as I know, the boys don't have phones yet. I plan to wait until 7th at least for a phone and probably never will allow social media. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 03:47 PM Flag
»
Just an fyi! There are ways kids have social media accounts without parents knowing. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:25 PM Flag
»
of course! they all do and multiple accounts. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.10.19, 12:42 AM Flag
»
Do whatever feels right to you. They will try out pressure you with "But everyone has a smart phone!". It doesn't make a big impact on their social life if that is what you are worried about. DD's friends were a mixed bag and I don't think it made any difference in their interaction. I personally only allowed a phone with text and call, nothing else, and it was a smart phone so that I can use Location. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 03:52 PM Flag
»
If your child is secure they won’t feel left out over a possession. Raise right [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 03:52 PM Flag
»
It's too distracting. Texts, internet etc all available 24/7. My dd herself didn't get a smartphone until 17. She is now 20 and can't seem to put it down (although she'll leave it at home from time to time). I really would avoid until it's unavoidable. She had a flip phone in 5th grade just to call me in case of a scheduling issue after school. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 03:54 PM Flag
»
Agree. Held off. Don’t regret [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 03:58 PM Flag
»
Slightly off topic, but while on vacation we met a family with a 2 yo and 4 yo and both kids had their own iPhone. And I know they were fully functional BC the 4 yo FaceTimed his grandmother right in front of me. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:07 PM Flag
»
I'd put this off as long as you possibly can. You definitely do not need to cave while DD is still in elementary school. Phones and social media are very addictive. My DD (10th grader) unfortunately now spends much of her free time on her phone + this has displaced other things she used to enjoy (like reading a book!). [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:08 PM Flag
»
Recently read article about how engineers who develop(ed) this technology will not let this kids use it. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:09 PM Flag
»
If course not. Philip Morris executives don’t smoke either. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:14 PM Flag
»
I have a 9th grader who has a phone but only uses it for texting her friends and occasionally to call me. Ithink social media is more of an issue than just a phone. You might be able to get her a phone but not let her use it in certain ways. (just a thought) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:11 PM Flag
»
I have a 4th grade girl - she doesn’t have a phone or social media accounts. I don’t think many of her friends do, either. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:19 PM Flag
»
+1 [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:40 PM Flag
»
OP: just curious, public or private? We're in public downtown. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:48 PM Flag
»
not OR, but the +1 above: private. The girls still seem so young and innocent (and I like it that way!). Still doing pretend play. I haven't seen any of her friends with a phone. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:59 PM Flag
»
OR: public, but different city [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:01 PM Flag
»
My 4th grader is one of the few that doesn't have a phone, tictok account, instagram. Its insane. My 6th grader I think is the very last one not to have a phone. Even when I give them phones, there is absolutely no social media of any kind. Particularly with girls, it has been scientifically shown to lead to increased anxiety, depression and even suicide. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 07:13 PM Flag
»
what kind of school is this?! it's so different from what my 4th grade girl is experiencing. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 07:31 PM Flag
»
Private on the west coast. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 08:36 PM Flag
»
My dd is in 7th this year, but in 4th and 5th grades there were a lot of her peers that had expensive phones. Both my kids received phones at the beginning of 6th grade. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:24 PM Flag
»
NYC? Public or private? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:36 PM Flag
»
All DD's friends without phones (middle school) or social media actually have active accounts on their friends' phones. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:27 PM Flag
»
OP: makes sense, in middle school... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:31 PM Flag
»
My hs kid despised social media ;) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:35 PM Flag
»
OP: thanks everyone for your thoughts. My DD isn't asking for this stuff but I've noticed over the past year (many had phones last year too), that when she goes over to these kids' apartments to hang out, they're on their phones a lot and she says it's both boring to be around and she feels left out. I don't plan to get her a phone until later in 5th/6th grade when she can self-dismiss, but I imagine this will more and more become a big social thing. I just wish it weren't starting so early - it seems like to much power/responsibility for these kids. One of her friends texted me directly to complain one day when she couldn't come over - I mean, inappropriate! They don't understand boundaries yet... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:29 PM Flag
»
*too* much [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:37 PM Flag
»
My kids complain about the same. Their friends are so consumed with their phone and social media that they ignore the real live friend in front of them. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 07:14 PM Flag
»
My daughter is in 4th grade and she's in no way, shape or form ready for a phone or an online presence. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:17 PM Flag
»
it's pretty normal and not the big of a deal. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.10.19, 12:41 AM Flag
[ - ] Can you teach DCs to be easy going? I have two kids. One (younger) is easy going; the older one is not. tia 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 09.09.19, 03:44 PM Flag
»
And I didn't do anything different with the younger one. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 03:44 PM Flag
»
Yes [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 03:48 PM Flag
»
They come out who they are. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 03:53 PM Flag
»
Nope. I was the oldest and most stressed out and competitive. By the time my brother came along (3rd kid), he was chill. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:02 PM Flag
»
I have 2 polar opposites and wish I could teach the older one to be more relaxed, but I don't think so. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:48 PM Flag
»
No. It's temperament. But you can exacerbate or temper their temperament by the way you model behavior. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:58 PM Flag
»
This exactly. They come into this world a certain way. You can only attempt to encourage the good traits and teach them coping skills/modifications for the more problematic ones. I have 3 kids; 2 are pretty laid back and one is an anxious, high strung perfectionist. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 06:58 PM Flag
Refresh » New Post »
Select Category
close [X]

close [X]

Select a Category (only 1)

category
Stages
Regions