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09.09.19, 15:56 PM General Topics
38 replies
Anyone else have a kid who had trouble with the start of high school (new school where she doesn't know anyone and complains about being sad all the time). Any good advice? How long does it take until she turns it around. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 09.09.19, 03:56 PM Flag
 

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How many days of class? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 03:58 PM Flag
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3rd day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:00 PM Flag
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np; She's fine. Just tell her to smile, Does anyone know anyone? What grade? Freshman? Aren't they all new to one another? My dd was a mess b/c her friends all had different period but all together while she got the one without a friend. She did fine after a few weeks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:02 PM Flag
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Would you care to say what school do moms there can offer tips? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:03 PM Flag
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It's a NYC SHS. She doesn't know anyone in her grade. The other kids are all new too, though some may have come in knowing a couple of kids from middle school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:11 PM Flag
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Stuy? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:15 PM Flag
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This is us but it's my son. He is kind of shy too so that doesn't help. I keep telling him he needs to join some clubs so he can get to know people. It's still early. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:20 PM Flag
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OP: I keep trying to tell her that everyone else is shy too! They are all too scared to interact. She said all the kids at her lunch table were on their phones! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:23 PM Flag
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Of course they are. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:24 PM Flag
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Everyone isn’t shy. You lose credibility there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:27 PM Flag
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OP: Ok fine, but you get what I mean. Everyone is nervous. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:38 PM Flag
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DD went to one of the large SHS, and EVERYBODY is getting to know everyone else in the beginning. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:43 PM Flag
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If it's HSAS, have her find my dd, the tall friendly blonde one (there aren't' too many). DD is a people magnet who loves to bring in the shyer kids to her group. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 06:49 PM Flag
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Well, yes, but middle school. We just moved out of the city, so new school, new house, new town, and I thought it was going well for the first three days. Then the weekend was rough--very upset, tears, anxiety, and no sleeping. I need some advice too! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:01 PM Flag
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OP: So I guess this reaction is normal, even though its not fun! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:11 PM Flag
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NP - you need to let them work it out, just be encouraging, say it will take time [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:02 PM Flag
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I strongly disagree with in context of SHS. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:26 PM Flag
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me too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:30 PM Flag
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So if you disagree, whats a better approach? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:38 PM Flag
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I asked op if it was my child’s school. Crickets. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:43 PM Flag
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my son went thru this. he was pretty isolated until about winter break; his breakthrough moment was participating in an extracurricular where he really shined and the kids gravitated to him. he's very happy at school now (has been at the school two years, this is his third). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:10 PM Flag
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Maybe connect with guidance counselor? They may have some tips? I wish schools had friendship tables where kids who are seeking friends can go sit down with their lunch and find a buddy. Some will be the ones lonely but others often enjoy helping others. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:18 PM Flag
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SHS don’t have this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:21 PM Flag
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No guidance counselor? But yes, most schools don't have that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:25 PM Flag
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The lunch table [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:28 PM Flag
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Is it her first choice school? Did the teachers scare the crap out of her with HW? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:25 PM Flag
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OP: Yes first choice and Yes they scared the crap out of her. Hasn't had so much HW yet, but they are scaring her with their tone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:48 PM Flag
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Just feed up and say stuy lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 05:01 PM Flag
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OP: Not stuy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 06:01 PM Flag
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So glad you posted. DD (12) said everything was fine the first week, then got teary and confessed yesterday that she's sitting alone at lunch, and doesn't have classes with anyone she thinks she might like. She claims there are already entrenched social groups, which I find hard to believe considering that everyone is new to the school and it draws from a large area (Chicago). Trying to be supportive, but I feel for her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:37 PM Flag
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she will be fine - she should pick a couple of activities to join as soon as possible, she should force herself to smile and ask "what middle school did you go to?" or "how are you getting to school" a few times a day. she will be fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:47 PM Flag
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Nope. It’s not a normal environment. It’s abusive Stockholm syndrome. It takes some getting used to [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 05:02 PM Flag
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my dd is at a shs, and that's nonsense. It is more stressful than your average high school. It's also challenging, and exciting, and fun. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 05:25 PM Flag
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Tech? They have the best balance [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 05:50 PM Flag
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no, bronx science. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 06:05 PM Flag
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OP: thanks for this. That Stockholm syndrome comment was not what I needed today! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 06:00 PM Flag
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Are there other outliers? There must be other kids who aren't on their phones who are looking to connect. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 06:28 PM Flag
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I'm applying to both middle and high school this year for my dcs and you bet your ass I'm looking at extra curricula's too. So important people. Get your kids to sign up for a team sport, school newspaper, model UN - something. It will click. I remember one of my friends from HS admitted to having lunch in the bathroom stall until she found the club that we all belonged to. They have to get over their anxiety and join. Good luck to you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 09:42 PM Flag
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