< Return to Talk
09.09.19, 15:45 PM General Topics
30 replies
Any moms of 4th grade girls on (or 5th)? DD has a mix of friends and it's interesting to see how different they are in terms of their online/phone presence. Some of them are still pretty sheltered and then some of them have their own phones instagram/snapchapt/tiktok etc. I don't want my DD to feel left out but it seems so soon for all that. Any thoughts? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 09.09.19, 03:45 PM Flag
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

»
I'm a 5th grade mom of a boy and I was amazed hearing from a mom friend of a daughter last year that our class is same as you describe. Some girls with iPhone 10s and social media, some with noting. As far as I know, the boys don't have phones yet. I plan to wait until 7th at least for a phone and probably never will allow social media. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 03:47 PM Flag
»
Just an fyi! There are ways kids have social media accounts without parents knowing. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:25 PM Flag
»
of course! they all do and multiple accounts. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.10.19, 12:42 AM Flag
»
Do whatever feels right to you. They will try out pressure you with "But everyone has a smart phone!". It doesn't make a big impact on their social life if that is what you are worried about. DD's friends were a mixed bag and I don't think it made any difference in their interaction. I personally only allowed a phone with text and call, nothing else, and it was a smart phone so that I can use Location. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 03:52 PM Flag
»
If your child is secure they won’t feel left out over a possession. Raise right [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 03:52 PM Flag
»
It's too distracting. Texts, internet etc all available 24/7. My dd herself didn't get a smartphone until 17. She is now 20 and can't seem to put it down (although she'll leave it at home from time to time). I really would avoid until it's unavoidable. She had a flip phone in 5th grade just to call me in case of a scheduling issue after school. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 03:54 PM Flag
»
Agree. Held off. Don’t regret [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 03:58 PM Flag
»
Slightly off topic, but while on vacation we met a family with a 2 yo and 4 yo and both kids had their own iPhone. And I know they were fully functional BC the 4 yo FaceTimed his grandmother right in front of me. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:07 PM Flag
»
I'd put this off as long as you possibly can. You definitely do not need to cave while DD is still in elementary school. Phones and social media are very addictive. My DD (10th grader) unfortunately now spends much of her free time on her phone + this has displaced other things she used to enjoy (like reading a book!). [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:08 PM Flag
»
Recently read article about how engineers who develop(ed) this technology will not let this kids use it. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:09 PM Flag
»
If course not. Philip Morris executives don’t smoke either. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:14 PM Flag
»
I have a 9th grader who has a phone but only uses it for texting her friends and occasionally to call me. Ithink social media is more of an issue than just a phone. You might be able to get her a phone but not let her use it in certain ways. (just a thought) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:11 PM Flag
»
I have a 4th grade girl - she doesn’t have a phone or social media accounts. I don’t think many of her friends do, either. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:19 PM Flag
»
+1 [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:40 PM Flag
»
OP: just curious, public or private? We're in public downtown. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:48 PM Flag
»
not OR, but the +1 above: private. The girls still seem so young and innocent (and I like it that way!). Still doing pretend play. I haven't seen any of her friends with a phone. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:59 PM Flag
»
OR: public, but different city [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:01 PM Flag
»
My 4th grader is one of the few that doesn't have a phone, tictok account, instagram. Its insane. My 6th grader I think is the very last one not to have a phone. Even when I give them phones, there is absolutely no social media of any kind. Particularly with girls, it has been scientifically shown to lead to increased anxiety, depression and even suicide. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 07:13 PM Flag
»
what kind of school is this?! it's so different from what my 4th grade girl is experiencing. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 07:31 PM Flag
»
Private on the west coast. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 08:36 PM Flag
»
My dd is in 7th this year, but in 4th and 5th grades there were a lot of her peers that had expensive phones. Both my kids received phones at the beginning of 6th grade. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:24 PM Flag
»
NYC? Public or private? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:36 PM Flag
»
All DD's friends without phones (middle school) or social media actually have active accounts on their friends' phones. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:27 PM Flag
»
OP: makes sense, in middle school... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:31 PM Flag
»
My hs kid despised social media ;) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:35 PM Flag
»
OP: thanks everyone for your thoughts. My DD isn't asking for this stuff but I've noticed over the past year (many had phones last year too), that when she goes over to these kids' apartments to hang out, they're on their phones a lot and she says it's both boring to be around and she feels left out. I don't plan to get her a phone until later in 5th/6th grade when she can self-dismiss, but I imagine this will more and more become a big social thing. I just wish it weren't starting so early - it seems like to much power/responsibility for these kids. One of her friends texted me directly to complain one day when she couldn't come over - I mean, inappropriate! They don't understand boundaries yet... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:29 PM Flag
»
*too* much [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 04:37 PM Flag
»
My kids complain about the same. Their friends are so consumed with their phone and social media that they ignore the real live friend in front of them. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 07:14 PM Flag
»
My daughter is in 4th grade and she's in no way, shape or form ready for a phone or an online presence. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.09.19, 05:17 PM Flag
»
it's pretty normal and not the big of a deal. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 09.10.19, 12:41 AM Flag
Refresh » New Post »
Select Category
close [X]

close [X]

Select a Category (only 1)

category
Stages
Regions