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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Since my dad got sick and died this summer I can't stop shopping. I am not buying things I can't afford or anything but it just feels like all I want to do is shop. I'm overeating a little bit too but mostly just shopping. I'm a little worried because it's unlike me and I don't want to accumulate crap. So far it hasn't been too bad I just wonder if I should take steps to stop, or let it run its course as my coping mechanism. I did this a little after my mom died too. I also have a ton of anxiety and can't sleep. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 03:39 AM Flag
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oh, I just want to reach through this computer and hug you. no matter what, just be compassionate with/to yourself. love yourself as much as you can through this and don't judge yourself too harshly. this is hard. maybe try meditating or sitting quietly with yourself in the mornings, going out for long walks? plan things in your day that don't have to do with shopping. read good books? only you know what your list is... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 03:52 AM Flag
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t been letting myself do pleasurable things like go on walks or read books [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 03:59 AM Flag
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OOps UB mangled my reply. I said thank you that's good advice & i've been getting to work outs and stuff but haven't been letting myself do pleasurable things. i should try [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 04:00 AM Flag
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yes! you need "self-care" of the highest order, and I don't mean spa days and wine and the typical stuff (although that's not necessarily bad) - I mean GRACE and space to really let yourself heal. talk to a therapist, have a good meal with a good friend, take naps, make a playlist of your favorite songs (just yesterday I made a great playlists of songs I love from the 60's and 70's... so so good! haven't stopped listening)... I keep adding to the list but like I said before, only you know what your list is. make a long one that you can draw from in times of need. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 04:14 AM Flag
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oh, and write! writing is a great healer. look up Julia cameron's "morning pages" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 04:22 AM Flag
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Be gentle to yourself. My parents both have a lot of serious health issues and I’m experiencing something similar. I know I’m spendy, so mostly I stay out of stores or use my shopping urge to order basics for my parents. I did sign up for a skincare subscription box -it’s $25/month but it distracts me from bigger purchases and satisfies the self care urge. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 04:27 AM Flag
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NP. I do the same. I go to the lowly Target to indulge myself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:11 PM Flag
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It sounds like you could benefit from speaking with a therapist. Anxiety, insomnia, compulsive shopping -- it may be understandably due to grief, but that doesn't mean you don't deserve help to get to a place where you can feel better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 04:28 AM Flag
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This^. There's a better way to live, OP. Therapy is a good way to take care of yourself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:41 PM Flag
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Sign up for rent the runway unlimited. Maybe weekly picking of selections would fill the need to shop? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 03:00 PM Flag
[ - ] I'm rewatching Downton Abbey in anticipation of the movie (ten more days!) Just saw the scene where they drop the roasted chickens for the dinner party on the floor and the cat starts dragging one away. Good thing they didn't have the open floor plan! 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:14 AM Flag
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That’s why I like a closed kitchen! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 03:06 AM Flag
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I've watched it through SO many times I remember that exact scene. I'm excited for the movie too! Did you go see the exhibit? I feel like a cheeseball for being such a fan, I'm not usually like that about shows [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 03:41 AM Flag
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I saw the exhibit, loved it. Fun to see the wardrobes and jewelry, the details were amazing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 11:39 AM Flag
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np. I saw the exhibit and have tickets to the preview on Thursday, can't wait! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:50 PM Flag
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OP: I saw the exhibit twice! Went alone once and then my cousin from the suburbs wanted to go. Wonderful! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 04:20 PM Flag
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LOL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:10 PM Flag
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I can't wait to see it too. I miss the show. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:17 PM Flag
[ - ] In another post someone mentioned glasses as part of a cluster of reasons a girls was bullied. Do you really think people care? My dd wears glasses and she's adorable and people compliment them (too much if you ask me...in the way they do because they want to mention them but can't think what to say). She's worn them since age 3 and I've obviously never considered it would be a social issue? She's 7. 27 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:10 AM Flag
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^ honestly, not obviously! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:11 AM Flag
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When someone is a target, everything about them is a target. When someone is "cool", everything about them is considered cool, from their accessories to their name. Bullies (and later, abusers) choose the person, and then start picking on everything about that person. They don't pick on a person because of any one feature. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 05:47 AM Flag
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This is true, and sometimes a collection of people with those tendencies happen to be in the same classroom. I generally liked school, and I still remember my horrible experience in one 8th grade shop class. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:33 PM Flag
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I'm the mother from that post and this is absolutely true. If the "cool" girls wore glasses, then that would be all the rage. But my dd would be picked on regardless, glasses or not. That's just one feature they zero in on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 04:40 PM Flag
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Times have changed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:12 AM Flag
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No idea but don’t create problems before they exist [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:12 AM Flag
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? I don't intend to! Surprised to hear "glasses" as a reason someone is a bully target. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:13 AM Flag
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Glasses are a sign of weakness, in that one can't see well without them. But we're not animals, we're human beings. Your daughter needs her vision corrected and that will be true whether she wears glasses or contacts. She's not the problem--the as-yet-nonexistent bullies are. I agree with OR above: cross the bridge when you come to it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:44 AM Flag
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You’ ve never heard the term “ four-eyes?” Traditional schoolyard taunt for the glasses wearing child. And “men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses” for the slightly older set?Torment of the glasses wearing girl is a long horrible tradition. I know. One of the happiest days of my life was when I first got contacts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:29 AM Flag
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First OR above and totally agree. I think now, glasses are totally in but I was so miserable growing up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:38 AM Flag
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So glad to hear glasses are in now, sigh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:57 AM Flag
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OP: interesting...my dd doesn't mind glasses at all, she likes them bc she can see! Of course I've heard these kind of notions before but they seem so antiquated. And primitive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:59 AM Flag
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It's not "interesting." It's just the way it was. Of course your DD doesn't mind glasses. She lives now, not then. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:10 PM Flag
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"...but do women who wear glasses make passes at men?" Anyone remember what that commercial was about? I couldn't find it in a search. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 05:53 AM Flag
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I believe the actual phrase was "men don't make passes at girls who wear glasses" -- like glasses are not sexy? Not applicable to kids, and 2) that's a plus to glasses. And probably not true anymore given the times. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:14 PM Flag
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No. First poster was correct. It’s Dorothy Parker. Look it up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 07:31 PM Flag
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I was teased for wearing for glasses, my ds is 14 and has been wearing glasses since he was 8. He has not been teased for them, ever. Times have definitely changed. He is a teen and we are forcing him to wear contacts now (appt for fitting when they come in stock next week) because it is part of a two pronged approach to try to slow his eyes worsening. He is also taking eye drops for it. There is so much new research now and I wish we had known about the eye drops and contacts sooner. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 03:17 AM Flag
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the contacts will not slow progression. it is too late. I wasted a lot of money on them for my teen and another eye doc said there is no evidence at all that it would work at that age. I felt really cheated. the drops are still in clinical trial. Our kids missed the boat on these new technologies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 03:36 AM Flag
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His eye doctor said that she has seen the drops slow progression even in her tweens and teens, and my ds started in feb and was not complaining he couldn't see by august (he was getting a new prescription every 6 mo) so I will take it. His prescription had changed (just tested him again now in Sept but it was not a huge jump like before). They are running a trial out of their office. I am willing to try the contacts, hoping the type she ordered are better than before. They were hopefully going to slow my progression when I was a kid but they didn't help a huge amount (or maybe they helped and my eyes would have been worse?) I'm sorry these things didn't help your kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 03:41 AM Flag
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My kid does the drops, she's a little younger. But they're supposed to help up until vision stabilizes I believe? Mine didn't stabilize until college. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:10 PM Flag
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Glasses are very cool nowadays. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 03:40 AM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:10 PM Flag
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Based on my family's experience, it depends. I think things have changed somewhat. I was teased a lot for my glasses as a kid: first in my grade to wear them, thick lenses. Now glasses can be cool, as long as they are fun and don't modify the visual appearance of your child's eyes too much. Thin lenses are fine, thick lenses that reduce the size of your eyes significantly and give you a bit of a different look are still uncool. Add braces to the look, and... yeah... not too good. My DD, who needs a heavy correction, notices that people treat her differently when she wears her contacts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:47 PM Flag
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100% agree with all of this. Not all glasses are "very cool" but some can be. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:18 PM Flag
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My wears glasses (think lenses at least) and has braces. Plus she is into computers and engineering. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 04:42 PM Flag
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I suffered through wire-rimmed photogrey lenses throughout the 1980s, truly ghastly. DD and DS both wear glasses, classmates have never said a word, eyewear esp for kids is much more attractive now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:31 PM Flag
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My daughter was the first to wear glasses and now all of her friends wear them. They're like an accessory for her and she would never consider contacts even though she is old enough for them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:44 PM Flag
[ - ] Succession SPOILER: What was the significance of Kendall pooping the bed? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:57 AM Flag
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I only saw the first season, but just btw I believe the protocol for spoiler alerts is to post the alert in the title and the actual spoiler in a reply. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:07 AM Flag
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THIS [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:12 AM Flag
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I know! Sorry. I haven't posted anything in so long and I pressed the return/enter key because I thought it would not show unless clicked on. So then I was going to delete the post but I can't even figure out how to do that! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:18 AM Flag
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seriously! You need to say spoiler alert. I haven't watched and now I'm wondering - Kendall poops the bed?!? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:12 AM Flag
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Well, now that you've spoiled...I think it was an over-worked metaphor and could easily been left out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:18 AM Flag
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I'm not watching this year, but I saw last season and I would assume it's PTSD from the crash and attending guilt. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:43 AM Flag
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I thought it was just cokehead shit/blood smears and that they had sex [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:59 AM Flag
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This [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 03:18 AM Flag
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why blood tho [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 03:29 AM Flag
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Just watched the episode and didn’t notice that. I saw him roll up the sheets but assumed he had peed in them or something. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 04:52 AM Flag
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There was poop on them [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 06:20 PM Flag
[ - ] How many vacations do you take each year? We do 2 - One winter and one summer and it seems that people I know are away every single break!!! 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:57 AM Flag
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We only take two. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:58 AM Flag
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It’s been four years since we actually did a trip (that wasn’t visiting family or going upstate to hike for a long weekend). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:00 AM Flag
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We do two week-long vacations + a few long weekends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:02 AM Flag
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The big family vacation is in March. Sometimes a family visit in the summer, but not every year. DH and I have a little trip usually while DD is at camp -- nothing lavish (Block Island this year). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:04 AM Flag
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we do tons of long weekends - beach and skiing and Europe every couple of years. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:07 AM Flag
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3 weeklong trips and away a ton of long weeekends over the summer [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:13 AM Flag
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We go away (almost) every single break but it really varies in terms of expense. We usually only do one or two “big” trips (typically Hawaii and then an international destination) but we do a lot of road trips and trips to visit family cross-country. I travel for work not infrequently so we can usually patch those together with points and miles. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:14 AM Flag
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This coming year I’ve just booked 5 days in New Orleans, 4 days in Killington and 8 days in London/Stonehenge/the Cotswolds. I spend the whole summer at our beach house and don’t do any other travel. I think we can do all three vacations for 10-12k. Points mostly covered New Orleans air tix, 2-3 tanks of gas to get to killington and got a good deal on London air tix. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:16 AM Flag
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It varies. I don’t count Christmas visit with parents in FL. Outside of that, in summer we do close to a week at beach, we do a fun weekend in a not too far city, we do a trip of up to a week during either feb or April break, and then we do a color of local ski weekends, one at a friends place. Maybe throw in a night at anwaterpark. anwaterpark of [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:22 AM Flag
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Before DC, at least 2-3 trips including a 2 week Europe trip. After DC, 1 family trip and 1 short trip for just DH and me (DC with grandparents). However since I started working for an airline, we are away somewhere every couple weeks. Mostly weekend trips. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:34 AM Flag
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what do you do for an airline? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:52 AM Flag
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Work in corporate - project manager. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 05:52 AM Flag
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3 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:36 AM Flag
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How much do you spend per year? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 05:30 AM Flag
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Comparing yourself to others is a sure way to unhappiness. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 05:55 AM Flag
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I think I've taken 2 or 3 days off since January. Try not to compare yourself to other people. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:38 PM Flag
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One week every summer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 05:16 PM Flag
[ - ] If you have been overeating (3,000-4,000 calories or so), would you lose weight if you even cut down to like 2500-3000 a day? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:55 AM Flag
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How much do you weigh? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:56 AM Flag
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this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:58 AM Flag
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If your output/exertion stays the same, yes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:04 AM Flag
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Not me. I would just stop gaining. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:15 AM Flag
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3000 to 3000 isn’t a reduction in calories. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:16 AM Flag
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This [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 04:59 AM Flag
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Overall it is [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 05:24 AM Flag
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No. Not unless you expend more calories than you take in. Otherwise you will continue to gain, but at a slower rate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 10:45 AM Flag
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This is true, but not what PP was saying. OP is going from one range to a lower range, hence a calorie reduction [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:19 PM Flag
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500 calories a day adds up to 3,500 a week, which is supposed to create a one-pound loss. So I guess so. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:18 AM Flag
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This [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 04:59 AM Flag
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I did 1200/day and it was good. Dh can't do 1200 though. How much do you weigh? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 04:34 AM Flag
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Only if you aren't gaining currently [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 05:24 AM Flag
[ - ] Do you find that you consider whether men at work are attractive? Wish I didn’t think of them that way but hard to stop sometimes... 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:47 AM Flag
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I can think they are attractive without wanting them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:48 AM Flag
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Same. I work with a lot of Latino men, whom I find beautiful, but I'm fully settled here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:54 AM Flag
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No, the work thing doesn’t do it for me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:55 AM Flag
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No because I don't really like men. They disappoint me. I do appreciate their physical strength, though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:55 AM Flag
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same. it's like every few years that I find a man attractive. I'm sticking with dh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:08 AM Flag
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In general, this. I remember back in the 90s, when we all thought 5-10% of men would harass, discriminate, assault, or even rape if given the opportunity. Now we know that number is much, much higher, and we know that a lot of the men we thought were "good guys" were predators. We know we can't trust them, until they prove they can be trusted. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 05:58 AM Flag
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I find most men appealing in some way. I don't need to act on it, but I appreciate my clear view of the coffee machine where they dont think anyone can see them [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:11 AM Flag
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The last man I found attractive was a new doorman. None of the men I work with are attractive. I am not so attracted to men these days. And not because I’m attracted to women, ha. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:34 AM Flag
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No. When I start a job, everyone I work with is a colleague, not a potential date. I compartmentalize them, without even thinking about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 05:56 AM Flag
[ - ] Been binge eating for comfort a lot lately during A big transition. Feel pretty bad about it and it’s sort of out of control. Like a full bag of chips for dinner, etc. any advice? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:45 AM Flag
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Try to transfer your stress to something else. I find if I keep my hands busy I don’t think about eating. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:52 AM Flag
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I recently found a teeth whitening kit where you put the molds on for 2-4 hours (I normally use the 30 minutes ones, but I must have bought the wrong type). anyways, when I've been feeling like a binge is coming on, I got an put them on. Can't eat while they're in and they were expensive so I don't want to waste the product. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:32 AM Flag
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How long has this been going on? I am going to suggest not freaking out and just riding it out, as long as it is only one big thing a day (like a bag of chips). There are worst ways to deal with stress. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:35 AM Flag
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switch to healthy foods (fruit, nuts, a protein bar, something that will fill you up and tastes good) and just go for a walk while listening to music. you will feel so much better that you won't want to binge eat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:35 AM Flag
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What's the transition? Maybe I can help if I can find out what's going on in your life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:54 AM Flag
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Honestly, don't be so hard on yourself. Binging on some chips during a stressful transition is MUCH better than a lot of things you could be doing. Eating as coping isn't a great long term strategy but it's fine for a stressful transition. Carry on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:58 AM Flag
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+1, but a word of advice to keep an eye on it...I definitely eat for comfort and let myself do it when stressed (I don't drink anymore, it replaces alcohol). BUT a few years ago I let myself somehow gain 20 lbs and it was horrible trying to get rid of it. Now, I still stress eat but don't let it go on for a super-long time/don't completely overdo it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:13 PM Flag
[ - ] What would you say are the best conditions for a strong but platonic male-female friendship? 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:44 AM Flag
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Honestly, ex-lovers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:46 AM Flag
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I agree. I know how this will not be received well but I had an affair with a neighbor years ago. We were both married at the time. We have not been lovers in 10 years but we have continued a friendship for more than 10 years. Maybe it's that there is no mystery remaining, but there's still a strong enough desire for a friendship [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:06 AM Flag
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so no one ever found out? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.11.19, 03:57 AM Flag
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Really, this. You become family and are beyond the desire [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:46 AM Flag
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BTDT and agree [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 05:00 AM Flag
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One of my best friends for years was gay. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:47 AM Flag
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No physical chemistry. I have always had lots of male Friends. Never led to sex. Maybe I’m fugly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:47 AM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:55 AM Flag
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Or they are boring. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:09 AM Flag
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Having known each other pre-puberty [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:47 AM Flag
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I had a mentor at work and we went through some difficult things together. He’s not my religion though so I knew it could never work out and he had a serious girlfriend/wife the whole time I’ve known him and I love her. He became close with my husband. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:50 AM Flag
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office friends [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:54 AM Flag
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I have two. In both cases they are devoted to their wife. In one case, we socialize mostly as couples, in the other case, my DH is always invited along and comes maybe 2/3 of the time. That guy is of my parent's generation. We email, but don't text to stay in touch. In both cases there is an emotional boundary. We talk more about events and ideas than emotions (as I would with female friends) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:55 AM Flag
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Gay. That’s it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:56 AM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:11 AM Flag
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Having a non-family goal to work on. So, work friends usually, but someone with similar political views who marches/canvasses etc with you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:10 AM Flag
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If both are happily coupled with someone else. Neither can be lonely or pining. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:14 AM Flag
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A woman who really means it, and who never sends mixed signals. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 06:00 AM Flag
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s/o I love that Elementary has never tried to put Holmes and Watson together or even added a "will-they-won't-they" vibe. It's a great (fictional) example of a dedicated, loving, loyal, platonic partnership between a man and a woman. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 08:02 AM Flag
[ - ] I got my 10 yo a Patagonia backpack. I told him he has to use it until graduation. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:41 AM Flag
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good luck with that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 03:24 AM Flag
[ - ] I’m liking intermittent fasting. Not sure I’m losing weight but my clothes fit better. Today I had lunch at 1:30: lobster (ungarnished) and arugula salad. At 4 I had a small chickpea salad. Dinner was vegan burrito - cauliflower, black beans, avocado, greens, and WW tortilla. Had two cocktails. Should have had one. What else to fix? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:20 AM Flag
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Oh, and I usually do six hours of eating. Today was closer to 7. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:22 AM Flag
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I like it too. I was doing lunch snack and dinner but I have tried to cut the snack and eat dinner by 6. Clothes also fitting better after a summer of fun. I really am not as hungry as I used to be when I ate 3 meals, maybe because I am focused on having a good lunch (usually an omlette with vegetables and a salad on the side) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:27 AM Flag
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my question is: how can you eat a lobster without butter? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:33 AM Flag
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It was cold. On top of a bed of arugula. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:15 AM Flag
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Both GP and trainer told me to stop if. Said it was causing my plateau especially in waist. so glad I stopped! Feel much better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:44 AM Flag
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Hmmm. I feel good on IF. I like the clarity of it. I like being really hungry when I eat because it makes me eat hearty healthy food. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:16 AM Flag
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I used to skip breakfast, that was my norm, so calling it IF seemed like NBD? but bodies change with age, I stopped making progress, wasn't in a great mood, sluggish in the afternoon, food coma, etc. There were other posters on UB that wrote about the medical. May be able to find if you search. Good luck [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 05:01 AM Flag
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SO BORING [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:47 AM Flag
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So move on. I’m a perimenopausal woman looking for help. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 03:07 AM Flag
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If you're perimenopausal IF is the worst. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 05:01 AM Flag
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np - I'm perimenopausal as well -- I find I don't do well with wheat anymore. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 03:26 PM Flag
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How many pushups did you do? How many minutes did you spend doing exercise at an intensity that made it difficult to talk, because you were breathing so hard? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 06:02 AM Flag
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What?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:55 PM Flag
[ - ] If you are on a board & an employee of the company speaks negatively of the organization, would you report it? It was hostile rather than feedback. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:16 AM Flag
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Context? Bad in what sense? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:21 AM Flag
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Saying they hated the job. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:26 AM Flag
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Saying you hate your job is different from speaking "negatively of the organization." Which was it? I really think these are different. People are entitled to hate their jobs even now and then. "Ugh I am so over this job it's so boring" is very different from, e.g., "no one in management knows what they're doing and they have some shady business practices. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:21 AM Flag
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Eh. Everyone has bad days. I’d probably not say anything. You could like blow up this persons life if they fired her. Why bother? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:30 AM Flag
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Ok. That’s what I was thinking. But he came off really angry.. and I am just trying to do the right thing..probably will keep to myself.- but want advice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:32 AM Flag
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What did he say when you asked him why he hates his job? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 06:04 AM Flag
[ - ] Does quitting Diet coke make you crave sweets? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:13 AM Flag
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no [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:10 AM Flag
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Idk, but having one takes away my craving [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 05:25 AM Flag
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I replaced all sodas and alcoholic drinks with sparkling water, and it kills all of my cravings. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 06:04 AM Flag
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it's the opposite for me -- having it makes me crave more sweets. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 03:28 PM Flag
[ - ] What did you cook for dinner tonight? I need ideas.thanks 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:08 AM Flag
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Hot dogs hummus and veggies.not proud but got job done [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:13 AM Flag
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I made some corn bread but picked up some tomato soup from the store. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:15 AM Flag
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I made a salad to add to take out...... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:19 AM Flag
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Which takeout? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:44 AM Flag
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Balsamic-glazed chicken breasts, mashed sweet potatoes, salad that was mostly DH's tomatoes. The chicken was a hit with both DH and child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:20 AM Flag
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sounds good. Can you elaborate on the chicken? did you reduce the vinegar? how did you cook the chicken? TIA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:35 AM Flag
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Combined 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar, 3 Tbsp honey and two cloves of minced garlic, salt and pepper in shallow baking pan. Immersed boneless breasts (big ones -- a pound each) and flipped them to cover both sides. Baked at 350 for 40 minutes, flipping over every ten minutes. Strained the rest of the sauce and added it to melted butter and reduced somewhat while the chicken was resting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:39 AM Flag
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TY [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:22 AM Flag
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YW [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:56 AM Flag
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Turkey Bolognese in the slow cooker with hidden veggies a la Jessica Seinfeld [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:21 AM Flag
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My toddler had a yogurt pouch and two candy corn and my dh had McDonald’s. I had a Greek yogurt. I’m very pregnant and just could not cook [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:31 AM Flag
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can't your husband step up? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 04:35 AM Flag
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Salmon with tzadziki and beets with goat cheese [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:45 AM Flag
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Sesame noodles and chicken breasts, sliced cucumbers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:48 AM Flag
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Sesame noodles and chicken breasts, sliced cucumbers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:48 AM Flag
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Vegetable cream soup, zucchini pancakes and tzatziki. But I deeply regretted cooking the pancakes, so much effort and mess. They are really tasty but not worth the effort. Maybe once a year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:48 AM Flag
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I made a zucchini gratin that was very easy--thinly sliced zucchini and onions in a shallow baking dish--good breadcrumbs, grated parmesan, dot with butter, and bake at 350 for about 40 minutes until brown on top. The breadcrumbs had been toasted in olive oil, so they didn't dry out the dish. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:01 AM Flag
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Thanks, that was my other option but I knew DCs would not like it. I love zucchini gratin myself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:10 AM Flag
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Lettuce wraps [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:57 AM Flag
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Trader Joe's spatchcocked lemon chicken, kale Caesar salad and baguette. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:03 AM Flag
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chicken cutlets with chopped salad on top [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:05 AM Flag
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Meatballs. Broccoli [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:20 AM Flag
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Braised lima beans in chicken broth; tomatoes, mozzarella, and basil; prosciutto and cantaloupe. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:50 AM Flag
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Marinated NY strip steak from yesterday, steamed cauliflower and mashed it into the steak juice after steak finished cooking, added butter and salt. Tiny multi-colored potatoes boiled in chicken broth at bottom of cauliflower steaming pan while cauliflower was steaming above. My house smells like steak now and I kind of regret it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 03:52 AM Flag
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I blew it off and had half a pint of ice cream. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 06:05 AM Flag
[ - ] I said something today that was a sore spot to someone who I know (interact couple of times a month). Knowing I did wrong ruined my day and I know I ruined (or at least damaged) hers. Sucks. Nothing to be done because I apologized at the time, but still sucks 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:56 AM Flag
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I feel your pain, I have a quick temper/loose tongue and sometimes I say things that I regret; I hate myself for it and have learned to curb but not totally, yet; keep trying to improve [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:58 AM Flag
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Yeah. I wasn’t in a good place personally (stressed and hate social events)and did the wrong thing with her kid. And it was wrong to do it (although I was right it needed to be done, but not my place) and she was, understandably, upset. Now the guilt is bothering me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:02 AM Flag
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Let it go, you did not do it out of malice [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:10 AM Flag
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I know and she knows. But right now I’m stretched so thin that I’m just running it over and over in my head. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:11 AM Flag
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What happened? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:07 AM Flag
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This. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:25 AM Flag
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You sounds like a good person for registering your feelings and conceding your mistake. This is how we grow! No pain, no gain [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:52 AM Flag
[ - ] What is the easiest job/committee in a PTA? Enough to “participate”, but not work too hard :) 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:55 AM Flag
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Do not do the auction. Thee is usually a street fair or book fair or something that is lower stress and shorter commitment [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:56 AM Flag
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Book fair sucks. It's not low maintenance. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:27 AM Flag
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NP tell me more, was thinking of volunteering for book fair [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:36 AM Flag
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It totally is if you aren’t running it. Show up, put out books, sell books go home. And of the activities that you could run, it’s loer than street fair (permits and vendors) or auction (shoot me first) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:38 AM Flag
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NOT THE STREET FAIR! It's a ton of work and the stress over the weather is awful. As noted below if you simply show up and say "what can I do" you'll be appreciated [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:12 AM Flag
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Selling tickets at events. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:58 AM Flag
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Help at a table during an event [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:11 AM Flag
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Having organized almost every PTA event at my kids' schools over the years (sad, i know!), volunteering to help out at any of event is easy. The coordinators of the events send out a sign up sheet. Sign up for an hour or two (setting up, sell tickets or food, etc). That's the easiest. Volunteer to help out for a few hours at the book fair during the time when your child's teacher brings her class down. That is what a lot of parents do. What is work is organizing any of these events. Don't take on that role and you will be fine. Any help you give will always appreciated. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:54 AM Flag
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Chairing? Or volunteering? Chair the teacher appreciation lunch, volunteer for 5th grade graduation set up, t-shirt sales or garden planting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:06 AM Flag
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Hardest is auction, Taste/fundraiser, library assistant. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:07 AM Flag
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both the teacher appreciation lunch and the 5th grade graduation are HUGE, stressful events at our school. I would not advise either of them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.11.19, 04:02 AM Flag
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Class auction project. You get a minimal budget and you need to come up with a craft all the kids can participate in. I had a 3rd grade class sign a big platter with their names and had it sealed and fired one year, bought a small wood chair and had a K class do hand prints and names. It's a bit of running around for about a week, then you are done. And most of the interaction is with the kids not the PA, which is its own kind of refreshing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:15 AM Flag
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I found secretary to be easy. OUr bylaws had two secretaries. One just typed up the minutes and sent them around for comments and then put them in the official record and the other had to photocopy all the stuff that was sent home. I typed up the minutes and that was easy easy easy! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 03:45 AM Flag
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forgot - had to take the minutes for both executive board meetings and general meetings [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 03:46 AM Flag
[ - ] Have we discussed yet the addictive properties of cookie butter? I’m truly addicted to this stuff. It’s getting hard to find in stores near me so I just googled it. Nearly every review mentioned addictiveness one reviewer even said “be careful”! It’s worse than Klonapin. What are they putting in this stuff ? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:45 AM Flag
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I tried it and didn’t like it. I think I was expecting it to taste like cookie dough. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:08 AM Flag
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NP: It tastes more like the cookies that they give on Delta flights. But smoother. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:30 AM Flag
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And less sweet [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:54 AM Flag
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Biscoff. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:12 AM Flag
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I hate those cookies. Thank god apparently!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:23 AM Flag
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You can’t really compare the cookies to the cookie butter [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 03:05 AM Flag
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I hate them too! They’re too sweet and taste slightly burnt to me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 03:40 AM Flag
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Trader Joe's has it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:28 AM Flag
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And it is amazing, so yummy with apple slices [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:01 AM Flag
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I put a gigantic dollop (I try measuring TBS but who am I kidding) on fage 0% plain yogurt it’s all about the mouthfeel [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 04:20 AM Flag
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I ate half a jar of it in one sitting first time I tried it and felt so gross that I never touched it again. The thought of it makes me ill. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:00 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone have a success story of staying in a toxic job and NOT going crazy? I’m just over one year in. Need the salary and if I left this soon it would be bad for my career. The people are driving me nuts (I was actually researching anti-depressants today!) I work every evening and weekend, and wake up in the middle of the night anxious and start emails early morning. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:34 AM Flag
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Yes. A few ideas: 1) Set a manageable goal for yourself (2-year anniversary?), you can always change it. Then focus on the positives that you are achieving for yourself and count down each month and day with joy in your heart. 2) Start looking for a new job anyway. It will give you a mental boost and if you find something better you will not need to explain yourself in the future. 3) Be a bit obtuse. Kill people with pep. They will give up on you (to some extent) if their drama and BS does not seem to affect you one way or the other. 4) Add one fun hobby to your life and do it at least once per month. My book club kept me going through some pretty challenging years. 5) Consider doing a medium chill on your job even if this is the last thing you want for yourself. This does not come naturally to me but toxic colleagues do not necessarily deserve your best. GL. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:41 AM Flag
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OP: Thank you so so much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:44 AM Flag
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:-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:50 AM Flag
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Great advices [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:00 AM Flag
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I mentioned this on UB before, so apologies if you already heard it. My brother was under a lot of stress in high school, and he told me he got through it thus: as he walked through the halls, whenever he saw someone who was causing him trouble, he would imagine his or her head exploding. Kept him cheerful. Try it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:42 AM Flag
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I would start looking but also practice boundaries. You are not expected to be perfect, nor on at all times. Give them your best during x number of hours a week and draw a line around the best. They may fire you, but they may do that because it is a toxic environment. If you don’t learn about boundaries, you are b3coming part of their mess. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:51 AM Flag
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OP: This is what has happened. I’ve had such good jobs in the past, I’ve never really set boundaries, I’ve always tried to be an extra team player. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:59 AM Flag
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Ok, so while we can’t fix them, we can work on you. Remember that you can either do the task or out in the time, if it is the task, when is it due and get it done, no extras, nothing. If it is the time, say I will work 10 hours today, and then clock out, turn off phone etc when that time is over. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:01 AM Flag
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OP: Thanks- oddly, this has never occurred to me. My parents are workaholics. (They “retired” 7 years ago and still work nearly full-time) I am a workaholic. I fill most empty time with work. DH and DD have started to get really irritated. I’m not sure I really am ready to change, but this has been a wake up call. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:12 AM Flag
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I hear you. My parents were the same. Dh has taught me that life isn’t about how many hours you put in for the office. It really is a better way to live. Now if it is the culture of the place to overwork, having some resumes out there is good. But if you are trying to react to the toxicity by proving you are worthy by overworking, it will not fix them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:15 AM Flag
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Your job won’t be there holding your hand at the end of your life. Pay attention to the people that matter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:33 AM Flag
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X 1,000,000 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 03:01 AM Flag
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Figure out what the minimum is to get by and do only that. Do not go above and beyond or try to perform to your typical standard. Do the work well enough to keep the job and nothing more. Don't volunteer for projects. Don't aim to be overly helpful or go out of your way for colleagues. The only way to survive a toxic job is to focus on just surviving, give up on trying to thrive in it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:11 AM Flag
[ - ] Anyone read any good books lately? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:20 AM Flag
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Nickel Boys [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:33 AM Flag
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where the crawdads sing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:34 AM Flag
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Yes! Where the Crawdads Sing, The Immortalists [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:35 AM Flag
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LOVED The Immortalists. So weird and hard to explain, but I couldn't put it down. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:37 AM Flag
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+1. Loved both these books! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 03:02 AM Flag
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Anything by Tana French [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:46 AM Flag
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Which one French book would your recommend in a desert island scenario? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:55 AM Flag
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Good and Mad by Rebecca Traister [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:02 AM Flag
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Fleishman is in trouble was really good [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:12 AM Flag
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Ask Again Yes, Recursion and The Gifted School were all great. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 05:27 AM Flag
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Things to Make and Do in the Fourth Dimension by Matt Parker. How To by Randall Munroe (great chapter with Serena Williams). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 06:09 AM Flag
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The Neapolitan Trilogy, Elena Ferrante [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 06:42 AM Flag
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Ninefox gambit [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 10:48 AM Flag
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Yesterday, I thanked the folks who recommended "The Golem and the Jinni," which I'm enjoying very much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:24 PM Flag
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The Leavers. Anonymous Girl. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 04:43 PM Flag
[ - ] I am a lawyer doing professional development in a law firm. What are some recruiters I can contact? Want a new job. Great credentials. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:14 AM Flag
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Are you doing professional development instead of actually practicing law? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:38 AM Flag
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Yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:01 AM Flag
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I really need a new job but no idea where to look. These kinds of jobs generally go to insiders. Would probably make less doing similar in a corporation - want another law related but non law job in major firm. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:03 AM Flag
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Is PLI still around? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:10 AM Flag
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