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09.10.19, 00:34 AM General Topics
13 replies
Anyone have a success story of staying in a toxic job and NOT going crazy? I’m just over one year in. Need the salary and if I left this soon it would be bad for my career. The people are driving me nuts (I was actually researching anti-depressants today!) I work every evening and weekend, and wake up in the middle of the night anxious and start emails early morning. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 09.10.19, 12:34 AM Flag
 

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Yes. A few ideas: 1) Set a manageable goal for yourself (2-year anniversary?), you can always change it. Then focus on the positives that you are achieving for yourself and count down each month and day with joy in your heart. 2) Start looking for a new job anyway. It will give you a mental boost and if you find something better you will not need to explain yourself in the future. 3) Be a bit obtuse. Kill people with pep. They will give up on you (to some extent) if their drama and BS does not seem to affect you one way or the other. 4) Add one fun hobby to your life and do it at least once per month. My book club kept me going through some pretty challenging years. 5) Consider doing a medium chill on your job even if this is the last thing you want for yourself. This does not come naturally to me but toxic colleagues do not necessarily deserve your best. GL. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:41 AM Flag
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OP: Thank you so so much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:44 AM Flag
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:-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:50 AM Flag
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Great advices [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:00 AM Flag
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I mentioned this on UB before, so apologies if you already heard it. My brother was under a lot of stress in high school, and he told me he got through it thus: as he walked through the halls, whenever he saw someone who was causing him trouble, he would imagine his or her head exploding. Kept him cheerful. Try it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:42 AM Flag
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I would start looking but also practice boundaries. You are not expected to be perfect, nor on at all times. Give them your best during x number of hours a week and draw a line around the best. They may fire you, but they may do that because it is a toxic environment. If you don’t learn about boundaries, you are b3coming part of their mess. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:51 AM Flag
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OP: This is what has happened. I’ve had such good jobs in the past, I’ve never really set boundaries, I’ve always tried to be an extra team player. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 12:59 AM Flag
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Ok, so while we can’t fix them, we can work on you. Remember that you can either do the task or out in the time, if it is the task, when is it due and get it done, no extras, nothing. If it is the time, say I will work 10 hours today, and then clock out, turn off phone etc when that time is over. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:01 AM Flag
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OP: Thanks- oddly, this has never occurred to me. My parents are workaholics. (They “retired” 7 years ago and still work nearly full-time) I am a workaholic. I fill most empty time with work. DH and DD have started to get really irritated. I’m not sure I really am ready to change, but this has been a wake up call. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:12 AM Flag
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I hear you. My parents were the same. Dh has taught me that life isn’t about how many hours you put in for the office. It really is a better way to live. Now if it is the culture of the place to overwork, having some resumes out there is good. But if you are trying to react to the toxicity by proving you are worthy by overworking, it will not fix them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 01:15 AM Flag
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Your job won’t be there holding your hand at the end of your life. Pay attention to the people that matter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:33 AM Flag
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X 1,000,000 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 03:01 AM Flag
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Figure out what the minimum is to get by and do only that. Do not go above and beyond or try to perform to your typical standard. Do the work well enough to keep the job and nothing more. Don't volunteer for projects. Don't aim to be overly helpful or go out of your way for colleagues. The only way to survive a toxic job is to focus on just surviving, give up on trying to thrive in it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.10.19, 02:11 AM Flag
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