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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Car inspection question. I parked my car on a street (where there is no ASP) and it’s been there for several days now. I realized the inspection was due to expire at the end of Aug and tries to go get it done, but it won’t start! Seems to be more than just a dead battery since jumping it isn’t working. Decided to just scrap the car (really old, crazy miles) but having a hell of a time finding a place that will take it. On top of that, the traffic minions keep ticketing it! Do I really have to pay for all these tickets? I would be happy to pay the first, but come on! The car won’t start so can’t easily drive it to get inspected. Can anyone help with either info re ticket or a place that would come and tow the car? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:38 PM Flag
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- I should add, I did put a note on the car that it won’t start and will be donated, but they keep ticketing it... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:40 PM Flag
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Call a tow truck and have it towed to a wrecking yard. Or did you try the extremely annoying people at 1 877 Kars for kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:42 PM Flag
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NOT them! Scam! Op, try WNYC. They accept donated cars. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:47 PM Flag
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I hate you. Now that song will be in my head for days. Hate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 11.13.19, 08:37 PM Flag
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They should keep ticketing. Yes you need to pay. Wtf [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:42 PM Flag
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Calm down killah [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:25 AM Flag
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Pay for tow truck. You get ticket w expired registration Do you have road side assistance through aaa or your auto insurer?? I pay $50 per year for this type coverage for free towing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:44 PM Flag
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They ticket regardless. If you were unable to move the car, you contest and the tickets will be forgiven. Our car has twice been immovable for ASP, and both times I sent back a letter with a copy of the towing receipt and didn’t have to pay. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:46 PM Flag
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Karsforkids. I hear their ads on radio . But google to see if like them [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:49 PM Flag
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That’s a scam actually. They say it’s to send underprivileged kids to summer camp, but it’s really for the organizers to send their own and their community’s kids to summer camp. DD’s camp is $8750 — would love someone to donate a car I could sell to cover that! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:52 PM Flag
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SCAM [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:02 PM Flag
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You need a tow truck and yes, you need to pay the tickets. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:53 PM Flag
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If you can get a charity that wants it right away, ask them to pay the tickets. They still come out ahead. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:07 PM Flag
[ - ] If I have been a socially inept person for much of my life, starting in the tween years. I've also been negative and depressed about family situations, work, and having no time to develop friendships, and unfortunately my ds knows (tried to keep it from him). Doesn't help that my ex, who calls me a "loner" and old lady in front of dc. How do I keep ds from thinking of me this way or being this way? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:29 PM Flag
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And to help dc to develop like a normal person? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:30 PM Flag
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I'm sorry that you feel this way. By any chance are you in therapy for yourself? How old is DS? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:39 PM Flag
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10. Lately he had had conflicts with his friends, doesn't want to do anything. He is in therapy, but I haven't had time. I am just feeling down like I did this to him just by being me. Plus, due to his behavior and reluctance to even run errands with me, I feel really isolated. He will not even go for ice cream, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:44 PM Flag
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Ok, therapy for you stat. And empathy for yourself. You should not feel isolated b/c he won't go for ice cream with you. That is not good for you or him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:49 PM Flag
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yes- be good to yourself and find a therapies who you click with. Acceptance that you are who you are and that's okay is a part of that. But also encouragement to make small, mangeable changes so that you can achieve your goals for yourself- like more friendships. Don't blame your behavior for your son being himself- its probably genes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:58 PM Flag
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But she does so your deciding she shouldn't is useless. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:01 PM Flag
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Hence therapy suggestion, friend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:02 PM Flag
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Make time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:01 PM Flag
[ - ] For anyone interested in a good family movie, "Zoo" (2018) is great, set in Belfast at the start of WW2, about a boy who steps up to help protect animals at the local zoo from bombing raids. Inspired by the true story. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:17 PM Flag
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Haven’t seen that but loved The Zookeeper’s Wife which took place in Warsaw suing WWII. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:20 PM Flag
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During, not suing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:22 PM Flag
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I haven't seen that one yet! I liked "We Bought a Zoo" with Matt Damon, though, too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:37 PM Flag
[ - ] Recommendations for a fun downtown art museum or area of artists that is showing and/or selling? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:14 PM Flag
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Tribeca is now filled with galleries. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:23 PM Flag
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True! There are about two dozen galleries in Tribeca, as of this week. And Chelsea has a few hundred galleries and the Whitney Museum; the Lower East Side has about a hundred galleries and the New Museum "Downtown" is full of art. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:25 AM Flag
[ - ] West Village or UWS? For raising kids. 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:13 PM Flag
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public or private schools? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:14 PM Flag
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UWS hands down. You can't beat having Central Park and Riverside nearby. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:17 PM Flag
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Either are great. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:16 PM Flag
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For oublic school, WV. If private, UWS [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:20 PM Flag
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UWS is more of a family neighborhood, WV is more of a party/trendy area [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:23 PM Flag
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Maybe you're thinking of the Meat Packing district? Shopping during the day in the WV, sure, but also families 24/7. A few restaurants, but not a bar or party scene at all. And both PS 3 and PS41 are great public schools [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:08 PM Flag
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Yes, but you can get very little apartment for your money, the streets are packed (making riding a scooter down the street at certain times very difficult), no large parks nearby. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:33 PM Flag
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I agree about the parks. But UWS is super packed, mostly with residents instead of tourists. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:50 PM Flag
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West village [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:25 PM Flag
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Just left UWS for WV. I would say it depends on kids' ages. UWS is great for elementary school kids -- Central Park, good kid friendly restaurants, short walk to CP Zoo, AMNH etc. But my teenagers are loving West Village. I think WV might be a bit tougher for littles -- not to say they can't do it, but there's more "texture" to the streets down here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:21 PM Flag
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UWS is boring, [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:45 PM Flag
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West Village hands down. My dream is to live there. Super family friendly, Lots of schools and Hudson River Park and bikeway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:07 AM Flag
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and you might run into SJP and her crew! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 03:58 AM Flag
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This is like asking whether Shangri-La or Xanadu is a better fantasyland [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:22 PM Flag
[ - ] Would you post photos in FB of a birthday party (turning 50) where only 4 ladies were invited from a larger group of friends? Even if they are closer, I still don't see what's the need to post this, if by doing it the other ladies will find out that they were not invited to the party 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:42 PM Flag
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Social media is inherently rude. That's what people sign up for. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:45 PM Flag
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It shouldn't be that way if people are a little more empathic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:54 PM Flag
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But the whole point of it is to show people’s social lives. It can’t be used for its stated purpose without revealing events to people who weren’t included. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:46 PM Flag
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ITA. We just went a birthday party with a smaller group than our larger one. Everyone agreed no FB. It just makes people feel shitty. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:46 PM Flag
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I agree with your policy. I think the same, you might her feelings or make others feel excluded. Good for you for not to post in FB. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:49 PM Flag
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Np: otoh, if you think your guest list would hurt someone else if they knew, maybe you should rethink excluding them. Being secretive isn't necessarily better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:49 PM Flag
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Every event can't include every person who knows some of the others. Most of my post-college friends are people I met through a running club. The club has 650 members. They wouldn't all fit! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:53 PM Flag
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I agree that sometimes you can't invite everybody, but it's good taste and discretion from those who were invited not to post when the others (not 650 but 12 were not invited to a big party) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:58 PM Flag
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It's not about being secretive, the other women would not have found out about that party, if it wasn't for those photos. Its just about being thoughtful, there's no need to post when you know others were not invited. For me it's a no brainer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:54 PM Flag
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I would not have posted. However, that happens all the time in FB [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:06 PM Flag
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This. If you are very sensitive, you should get off Facebook. Lots of hurt feelings. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:24 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:25 PM Flag
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I would post. It's a birthday party! And four is such a very small group, that I can't rally imagine other ladies getting their panties in a twist over not being included. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:09 PM Flag
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I would not do this but there is so much that I see on social media that seems tacky to me. Posting photos of parties that other people weren't invited to, posting selfies for no reason than to show that your hair looks nice that day, posting photos of your child's standardized test scores and report cards, cryptic posts about "I have been through so much in my life and sometimes you just need to dump toxic people and put yourself first!". I guess it's meant for a certain personality type. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:31 PM Flag
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sure - but just call it a dinner with friends or something [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:24 PM Flag
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Feelings will be hurt. Doing this (posting on SM) gives the excluded "friends" a chance to realize they aren't as close to the others, AND are left out, so maybe it's time for them to make some better, closer friends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:05 AM Flag
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I would not post. If you have to ask, you already know. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:06 AM Flag
[ - ] Want to try a new place in Florida over Xmas holiday break. Have 2 tween dd so need things to do besides the beach. What towns or cities do you like? tia. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:38 PM Flag
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Marco Island was nice [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:42 PM Flag
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South Beach is great .Amelia Island is fun but it will prob be colder there [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:42 PM Flag
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^^oh and Sanibel so you can bike [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:43 PM Flag
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Amelia isn't warm in December. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:46 PM Flag
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we love sarasota. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:47 PM Flag
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We stayed in Destin and enjoyed it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:47 PM Flag
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I booked some sailing lessons at a nearby port and had a great time [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:55 PM Flag
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Sanibel and Captive (next to each other) are both wonderful for families [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:10 PM Flag
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I love Fort Lauderdale. Beaches, touristry area along A1A, boat ride through the Everglades, drive down to dinner in Little Havana, shopping and galleries on Los Olas. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:22 PM Flag
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Miami. tweens will have a ton to look at and there's shopping. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:25 PM Flag
[ - ] Any former sorority moms on? Would love to hear your experiences. DD plans to join a sorority (she's hearing from her older friends that it's a great way to meet people). I feel like there are lots of horror stories about sororities (and especially fraternities)--ranging from hazing and dangerous/demeaning behavior, to cliquishness and snobbery. Thoughts? Also, is it common to get rejected by every sorority during Rush or do people generally get picked up (even if not by their first choice)? 51 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:26 PM Flag
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I was in a sorority and it was very big at our school, but I think the culture depends on the school. I definitely met people but really wasn't close friends with the girls from my sorority- the girls I lived with in the dorm developed much tighter bonds. There was definite hazing at the fraternities and when I look back, it was scary. We were not hazed. I would say 1-2 women I know did not get picked up, out of about 20 I knew who rushed. They were devastated at the time but were fine afterward. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:35 PM Flag
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^this was in the midwest by the way and I would guess about 70% of students were part of the Greek system. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:36 PM Flag
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Hazing can happen anywhere, so everyone just needs to have the backbone to say, "I'd rather be alone for the right reasons, than be part of the group for the wrong reasons." You can't get hazed if you aren't desperate to be part of a group of abusive anal fissures. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 10:48 AM Flag
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It was very chill at my school. I hear these stories about poor girls rushing their first few days of school, arriving at school with "recs" from former sorority members, or not getting a bid and deciding to leave school in the spring bc they will have no social life. All that makes my skin crawl. We are actively looking for schools for my dcs without a huge Greek influence. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:38 PM Flag
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Swarthmore eliminated all its fraternities this year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:45 PM Flag
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I think they had an incident with one, if I recall correctly [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:48 PM Flag
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Yes, they found old meeting minutes that confirmed conspiracy to make rapes happen, basically. Rather than try to "fix" fraternity life, they were eliminated. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:53 PM Flag
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omg [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:03 PM Flag
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This is how dh and I feel too. I know my oldest won't want to rush but I don't want any of them at schools where it will limit their social lives. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:02 PM Flag
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I did it because I wanted to be like my older sister who was VP of her sorority - My older sister however was in a clique in HS - was the scary hot girl - wanted and feared by all boys and envied by girls. I was more like the cartoon character Daria. I did wind up rushing and doing it but the only sorority that wanted me was a very quirky one. The one where I double legacy at (my sister and cousin) flat out rejected me. It sucked. That said, once I dusted myself off, I realized that I clicked with the quirky weirdos and they even embraced my outside uniqueness of belonging to certain campus clubs that you wouldn't expect a sorority girl to belong to. Rush sucked - you had to dress alike and do stupid things for hazing. One night I had to paint a mural with my pledge class in the freezing cold. I hated line ups - when you were called to the house at any given moment for some silly embarrassing thing(nothing that put you in danger). Parties were insane - I remember lots of beer, pictures falling off the walls do to them shaking, body surfing and yes, many people getting alcohol poisoning - you shouldn't be dumb about things. That was scary. I wouldn't discourage my own children from pledging but I would warn them about safety - not to do anything stupid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:44 PM Flag
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ILY. Made me laugh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:50 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 09:09 PM Flag
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I wasn't in a sorority but I was at many college parties like you describe. It is NOT limited at all to sororities [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:51 PM Flag
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seconding [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:33 AM Flag
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OP. Thank you for the helpful reply. I'm not going to tell her not to do it, but I want to learn more about it so that I can be informed and have a conversation about any concerns I have. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:18 PM Flag
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I love your posts, what you describe is my DDS. The older one was perfect for a sorority the younger one needs to stick to creative clubs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:41 PM Flag
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or: Thank you - I joined the radio station and TBH those were my people - I'm in a creative field fwiw. My sister is the head of HR at hospital :) - [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 09:45 PM Flag
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The further south you go, the weirder and crazier it becomes. My DD is in a sorority in a midwest LAC, and they have parties and do community service, but do not have a house and rush is lowkey. The stories she has heard about Texas and Alabama, on the other hand... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:45 PM Flag
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+1- I also went to a school where sororities don’t live together and it was overall a good experience (except Rush, which is universally awful). Essentially replaced some HS social activities - eg formal in lieu of prom. Also offered some leadership roles with low work levels, which helped build my resume at a mid-size school where a campus wide position would have been tough to find. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:12 PM Flag
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Not geographical. Varies by campus and also greek organization prominence/influence varies by campus too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:35 AM Flag
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Example https://www.townandcountrymag.com/society/tradition/g2977/best-sorority-houses/ midwest, california, new england area - all have amazing houses, which is saying something with the cost of real estate compared to as you wrote, in the south, where it is cheaper [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:41 AM Flag
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A lot really depends on the school and quite frankly your daughter. I joined a mellow sorority and I loved it. I met so many nice people and it was great after in keeping us all in touch with alumni associations. I thought being a pledge was annoying sometimes but fun and it really bonded me to my pledge class. If your DD know to pick one she likes and not one she thinks is the coolest, she will have a great time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:51 PM Flag
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It’s time to let go, and make yourself busy with your own life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:08 PM Flag
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Yeah, except OP is (presumably) paying for both college tuition and sorority dues/fees. Therefore, she has a right to know what's going on and approve of it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:17 PM Flag
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I strongly disagree. They are adults. Your purse strings are not the same as umbilical cord. Let them GO BE ADULTS. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:28 PM Flag
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It is a financial commitment too so I agree the parents are involved. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:41 PM Flag
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It really depends on the school. Bigger Greek schools will have some people rejected by every sorority and they might have more “intense” cultures with hazing. She can go through rush and pledge ship and see if it’s for her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:45 PM Flag
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I was in a sorority at a small LAC and it really was great. but, it wasn't a big scary one with crazy people and terrible hazing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:27 PM Flag
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I was in a sorority but was closer to my dorm-mates from first year than the sorority sisters. We had a beautiful house and you could live there or just take meals. We were not hazed. However the fraternity culture at our school was disturbing and I wouldn't recommend this school for DCs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:43 PM Flag
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I have two perspectives. I was in a sorority(large southern university) and was a Dean of Students at different large southern university who oversaw the Greek system. As a student, I enjoyed the experience but it wasn't my life. I was involved in other student organizations. Yes there was hazing but it wasn't too crazy. It's not like the fraternities. As an adult and a college administrator, my opinion is the Greek system is the worst. I have many stories that i will not bore you with. I have a son and daughter and I will not encourage them to join. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:10 AM Flag
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Don't need stories but why/how is it the worst? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:34 AM Flag
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Google? https://vocal.media/education/best-college-sororities-in-the-u-s, https://www.townandcountrymag.com/society/tradition/g3193/best-sororities/, https://theculturetrip.com/north-america/usa/articles/the-most-notorious-sororities-in-the-united-states/, https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-top-sororities-nationally [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:39 AM Flag
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Huh. Based on these links, it looks like Kappa Alpha Theta is the place to be! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 05:00 AM Flag
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"The sorority with the most celebrity alumni, the organization has over 270,000 members internationally. With famous alumni such as Tory Burch, Laura Bush, Melinda Gates, Sheryl Crow, Amy Grant, Ann Margret, Dylan Lauren, Sarah Clarke, Claire McCaskill, Kerri Strug, Lynne Cheney, and many, many more, the sorority is chalk full of boat-worthy members." for UB yes :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 03:32 PM Flag
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My alma mater had no sororities but my closest friend was very active in hers at Lafayette. She's never said anything negative about hazing or such, and she's still very close friends with many of the other members, all of whom seem like nice, normal women. Just an anecdote. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:41 AM Flag
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Back in the Paleolithic Era, I was in a sorority at UCLA. The Greek system is huge there. I think I was in shock during the whole rush experience. It was truly intense. I made it through rush alive, joined a sorority, made good friends and had a great time. I have no idea what rush is like at big schools like that now, but back then it was a huge production and it was a very stressful experience. It was like high school amped up 300 times. Awful! I did not have the benefit of the internet back then or even relatives who had been in sororities or fraternities. Both of my parents were from Europe and they knew nothing about this weird American university stuff. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:52 AM Flag
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UCLA greek is still huge. Are you still friends with any of your greek sisters? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:12 AM Flag
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I am. I am still close friends with several fraternity brothers from back in the day as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:54 AM Flag
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Interesting you raise this. I would far prefer my daughter be in a sorority and learn how to interact with people than be glued to her phone and whatever impulsive viciousness text chains and social media evoke. She’s a smart kid, so was I. I was in a sorority. Not the most popular girls, but the girls I clicked with. And yes I did have the option to be in the other ones. I liked having things to do and a place to go (we didn’t have a house though). For a while I dropped out but then I went back. I like having a full social calendar. Overall I am glad I did it and I would hope they would teach these kids how to carry themselves as young women and learn some leadership skills as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:10 AM Flag
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This is so ridiculous if you think that sorority girls are not using texting and social media. You are comparing what you see of teens NOW to what you remember of your sorority days THEN. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 05:40 AM Flag
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I’m sure they do BUT they also physically see each other and do things- structured activities. A lost art. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 03:00 PM Flag
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You sound like you belong on urbangrandbaby [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 07:46 PM Flag
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I went to UGA for grad school and the locals (including staff, grad, etc.) called rush week "Umpa-Lumpa" for (smaller, shorter) undergrads wearing white, fake tans, and gelled hair. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:14 AM Flag
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I was in a sorority at a small LAC in Texas, and it was a wonderful experience. It totally depends on the culture at the school. The things that made a difference at my alma mater are: 1) Rush was in the spring, so you had a semester to get to know people and figure out where you fit in. 2) No houses, so I wasn't exclusively with sorority members all the time. 3) Low dues, so the Greek system wasn't just for rich kids. 4) No hazing. My sorority forbids it and really sticks to that. My closest friends now, 20 years later, are still the women I met in my sorority. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:20 PM Flag
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OR: Also, I feel that the sorority experience did help me later in life. There are a lot of professional development and networking skills you pick up by running meetings, planning events, "interviewing" new members, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 02:21 PM Flag
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Wow, this sounds fabulous! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 03:31 PM Flag
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It really was, and still is! It's impossible to paint all Greek life with the same brush. I'm saddened reading stories of terrible things that happen at other school in the name of Greek organizations. They can be a force for good, but are often not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:23 PM Flag
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I was in a Panel leadership role at my Ivy League school. I think sororities can be great or terrible. It's about human nature. My sorority was a very positive influence on my life. We used Panel as a platform as the largest women's organization on campus to do a lot of social advocacy work. Also, the greek women at my school had a higher avg. GPA than non greek women. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 03:21 PM Flag
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Panhel, not Panel. As in Panhellenic Council. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 03:23 PM Flag
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As others have said, it varies given region of the country, national versus local sorority, and even within a college's own campus. I was part of a sorority at Dartmouth. It was very chill. It was nice to have a female dominated space. Drinking was a big part of the culture, but we were never hazed. I'm sure there were dry sisters. I just wasn't one of them. I don't think many of us would have even bothered to rush at a big southern school, though - that experience seems intense!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:32 PM Flag
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Late to the party here (no pun intended!), but I was in a "top" sorority in a Top 20 southern school about 10-15 years ago (think UVA/Duke/Vandy), and I would not want the same experience for my daughter. Maybe things have changed, but it was truly a huge distraction and waste of such precious emotional energy that could have been channeled into more productive pursuits during my precious time there. I wish I could go back and do it all over again and just focus on school, but I worked so hard in high school to get into college, that by the time I arrived, I was so burnt out and just ready to party, and was lacking in emotional maturity. My career and life have turned out pretty okay, but if I had been more focused on my grades and actually worthwhile ECs, I think my life could have turned out even better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 10:43 PM Flag
[ - ] DD is going to a high school that has "business casual" dress code. No jeans, cords, cargo, sweats, leggings, etc. Anyone in a similar situation have suggestions on where to buy clothes? I got a few items at J Crew on sale. I think Ann Taylor is too old... other ideas? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:02 PM Flag
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Anthropologie, Free people, bloomingdales for dresses [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:12 PM Flag
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gap, old navy, lands end have "uniform" sections that will have suitable clothes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:32 PM Flag
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Zara, Mango [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:41 PM Flag
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This. If you don't need an actual "uniform," then Gap or Old Navy should be fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:36 PM Flag
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H and M is the best place. Cheap but nice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:52 PM Flag
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The washable pants from Boden are very durable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:31 PM Flag
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"Business Casual" for HS?!? That is the craziest naming I have heard in a long time. Public or private? What state? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:50 PM Flag
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All the chain stores. Loft, gap, old navy, BR, Madewell. Or just hit up Nordstrom rack or tjmaxx. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:02 AM Flag
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IS this real? No cords? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:34 AM Flag
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+1 - what's wrong with cords? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:17 PM Flag
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Kohl's French Toast clothing line. All available online, cheaply. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:23 PM Flag
[ - ] Any suggestions for fun family games to play while ‘killing time’ or say waiting for food at restaurant? We like card games or guessing games—open to anything that’s fun for a group 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:00 PM Flag
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We are getting out of the squares/hangman/20 questions/I spy phase and really like playing jotto (but that’s for 2 players). We also play a game called 3 card game which I’m not sure is a family invention or not (you can google). But we always play it out and about bc it takes up so little space and your hand is never more than 3 cards w only one discard pile [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:23 PM Flag
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Spot it! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:23 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:59 PM Flag
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I made up a game with DS when he was 8. I'd write down a number from 1 to 100. He then had to ask questions (is it bigger than 30?) and I'd answer yes or no and we'd track how many questions he had to ask to guess the # correctly. Then we'd switch. I had a better poker face so I usually won. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:44 PM Flag
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Another one we used to do was making small words out of a single big word. And the more long words you could find, the better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:44 PM Flag
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Practice conversation. It's not really appropriate to play games at a restaurant after ordering unless you are at a McDonald's or similar venue. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:49 PM Flag
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Why? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:27 PM Flag
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We play hangman. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:13 PM Flag
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Mind hide and seek. The person picks a place you have all been. The others ask questions, ie. is it inside? Is it in the US? Do we vacation there? etc. until the others guess where the hider is. It helps us remember fun places we have been together. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:14 PM Flag
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We play the alphabet game. We pick a topic (food, brands, names) and we go through the alphabet saying one for each letter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:28 PM Flag
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You can do situation games, like would you rather (but keep it clean!) it's a fun way to spark conversation, but still has the game element. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:36 PM Flag
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Look up a game called timeline. It’s a card game where you have to place the times that various things happened in a time sequence. Look on amazon, the games are classified by types of events (eg inventions). HM would approve of this game. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:56 PM Flag
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Pick a table and make up stories about the people. Be as mean and as funny as you like: they're strangers and they can't hear you! As a child, our family of four survived many sojourns abroad with that little game. Kept my sister and I from killing each other--and my parents from doing the same, I suspect. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:22 PM Flag
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"Find the spy" is a hoot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 05:39 AM Flag
[ - ] Dh and I sometimes watch porn together. He told me this weekend that while he was on a business trip last week a female coworker came on to him and he said that he couldn’t touch her but that she could make herself come and he’d watch. He’s saying nothing happened bc they didn’t have sex and he didn’t touch her but I think that’s an absurd technicality and he may as well as slept with her. He also says he thought I’d like hearing about it bc it was like a porn video I enjoy watching but we never discussed it happening outside of watching a fantasy video. 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:49 PM Flag
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is he warming you up for a threesome? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:51 PM Flag
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Your DH is a sleaze [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:52 PM Flag
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+1 to infinity, get yourself tested for VDs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:03 PM Flag
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guy here, that is some weird shit - hopefully this is fake if not you have a problem on your hands [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:00 PM Flag
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Thanks for your honesty [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:04 PM Flag
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Sorry, no. Saying "nothing happened" is just insulting your intelligence -- he thinks you're an idiot and will actually accept a statement that blatantly ridiculous. You need to shut this down -- he can f around with some tramp at work, or he can be married to you, he can't do both at the same time. And if he is just saying this to see what your reaction is and it never really happened, that is even more messed up. I would be hella pissed and telling him if he wants a divorce I'd be happy to oblige. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:25 PM Flag
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Wait so - he was alone w her, while she touched herself (and I’m assuming he pleasures himself)??? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:49 PM Flag
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He would say nothing happened, do you really expect him to be honest with you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:05 PM Flag
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he's a cheating cheater and gas lighting you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:54 PM Flag
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hoist on his own petard. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:09 PM Flag
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I'm sorry, but your DH is being a jerk. Porn isn't a gateway drug to infidelity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:23 PM Flag
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this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:28 PM Flag
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DH here - I hope this is fake also. DW and I frequently watch porn together too, but I don't use it as an excuse to cheat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:26 PM Flag
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omfg. That's disgusting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 01:35 AM Flag
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I’d assume he was lying and actually had sex w her. It’s like when I had my driver learners permit and I told my dad that I just took the car around the block to practice parallel parking but really I was driving all Over town. I was setting up the excuse in case I got caught. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 04:09 AM Flag
[ - ] What happens during a college rep visit to a high school ? Does it increase odds of admissions if we reserve a spot ? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:36 PM Flag
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If it's a college your child might apply to, your child should sign up for the representative's visit. Showing interest in a school is a factor for lower ranked schools. (I know Skidmore and Lawrence University track interest, as examples.) The representative is usually the gatekeeper to admissions, so it really behooves an applicant to meet them, if at all possible. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:59 PM Flag
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Good to know. MIT visited last week and this week Haverford, Columbia, Regent’s From London etc. but DC is a sophomore. Is junior year too early to do this or wait until senior year ? For the student to meet or parents too ? I received the email as a parent and the meeting times are during school hours , [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:12 PM Flag
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It's reserved only for seniors at our school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:40 PM Flag
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I thought your child was a senior. Junior year is too early to meet with college reps with the exception of athletes talking with coaches. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:51 PM Flag
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MIT may implode over the Epstein scandal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:11 PM Flag
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just the media lab. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 03:18 AM Flag
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Sophomore year is WAY too early, you need to relax. DC met with a few at the start of junior year, which helped to give an idea of what he preferred, and he actually found two schools he liked out of the three or four rep visits he did, and we then visited those schools in person. But doing more than that super early is really sort of a waste. Also, our school gives preference to seniors for slots so it's not even possible to do some of the visits. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:39 PM Flag
[ - ] s/o of the "stupid fight with DH" MP. Most of the posters advised the OP to leave, but if she does that then this man will likely have 50% of time alone with DCs and possibly treat them the same way, with no one there to intervene. Wouldn't that be as bad, or worse? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:32 PM Flag
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Divorced mom here who had a similar husband. That was part of my decision to stay until youngest was 18. Otherwise you're not around to buffer his toxicity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:40 PM Flag
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OTOH, at least they see some non-toxic behavior modeled at home with mom. staying can normalize the toxicity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:42 PM Flag
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Rare for 50% custody. My ex gets every other weekend and two dinners a week. He wants the kids to like him so he is better with them but he was controlling and awful to me. Now, my kids are 12 and 14 and they would simply stop going is he acts like an asshole. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:32 PM Flag
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This is an excuse that people use to stay, but it is just an excuse because they are scared to leave. The kids need a normal home life at least some of the time to having a fighting chance of a normal adulthood. You can always put them in therapy. I know one person who stayed until her dd was 17- NOT an abusive situation, but her husband was an idiot and she was done with him. She stayed because her dh flat out told her that he would take their dd to hang out with his relatives, one of whom was a registered sex offender who had raped young girls. He had no problem doing it while they were married, but she could control if her dd went with him. Divorced, she would not have had that control. There was no abuse, he was just a terrible husband. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:59 PM Flag
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That sounds like an extremely valid reason so I wouldn’t say they use it as an excuse. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:16 PM Flag
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OR yes, I agree. She had a very valid reason IMO. I think most people who are getting abused use it as an excuse because they are scared to leave. But their kids are getting hurt by them staying and they have no place that is a refuge from the abuse. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:44 PM Flag
[ - ] Need to take 74 year old relative shopping for understated nice outfit - she's getting photographed for something she did. I'm thinking some kind of silk blouse and black slacks - where can I go besides Talbot's? Macy's or Bloomingdales is too much walking. 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 09.08.19, 07:14 PM Flag
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DO you live anywhere near a J Jill? You'll find what she needs there, for sure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:17 PM Flag
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Or Eileen FIsher [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:17 PM Flag
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I don't think of Eileen Fisher as casual, but it is more fashion-forward, if your relative is conservative. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:25 PM Flag
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this may be too casual...silk blouse and tailored trousers aren't their thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:24 PM Flag
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How big is she? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:35 PM Flag
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Medium - 10-12 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:30 PM Flag
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We recently shopped for my father in law - and I noticed bright jewel toned colors like royal blue look amazing with people that have grey hair - what color is her skin tone? I'd go into a store that has elastic or stretch pants such as chicos / JJill and get a pretty jewel toned blouse with easy black or dark colored pants. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:53 PM Flag
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+1 on Chico’s and J.Jill. Also nice longer jackets that are in between casual and structured work wear that are perfect for this type of thing. My mom is a slightly older museum docent and this is where she shops. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:01 PM Flag
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Is she fashionable/ fancy? Because all the older women I know really like JC Penney. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:21 PM Flag
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Is it a head shot or full length? Do you think she would photograph better in a dress? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:41 PM Flag
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Where do you live? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:24 PM Flag
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Upper West Side. Everything at Jjill is stretchy jersey - want a slightly more formal look. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:32 PM Flag
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Ask the 74 year old, she has experience shopping for clothes, I promise you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:54 PM Flag
[ - ] 40yo mom here, with two elementary DCs and work FT. I feel like I have no hobbies. I go to the gym but that doesn't really count. What are your hobbies? Or interests that you pursue? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 06:55 PM Flag
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Running, screenwriting [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:04 PM Flag
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You’re in the thick of it. Having a full time job and being a mom and enjoying exercise are enough hobbies! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:09 PM Flag
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I wasn’t really able to work on my own stuff with any regularity until DD was a tween. I’m a lawyer for my day job but I’m a visual artist other times. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:02 PM Flag
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Reading and traveling [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:45 PM Flag
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Something portable that you can do while you wait for them at activities. For me it was knitting and/or crochet. A ball of yarn, a set of needles or a hook, and there you go. Plus, if you live someplace cold, there is always somebody who needs a hat or a scarf. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:46 PM Flag
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I've been volunteering in political campaigns. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:10 PM Flag
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Knitting and crossword puzzles and binge-watching tv series. God, seeing it in print makes me feel so dull! But I’m loving life! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:49 PM Flag
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yoga, it gives time to escape from the day to day stress and the hard classes are a great workout too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 11:55 PM Flag
[ - ] I am over ex dh and know that we weren't good together. I do my best to co-parent and be cordial with him for sake of dc's. However, whenever his gf (who he cheated on me with) calls him when he is in my home picking up dc's, I get hateful feelings towards them both. Normal to know I am better off but still get angry when I feel like a reminder of something that hurt me deeply is rubbed in my face? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 06:52 PM Flag
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You can be cordial and still not let him in your house and minimize your interactions with while. You never have to make a declaration about it either. Just start enforcing your own boundaries. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:16 PM Flag
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If it makes you feel better, she sounds insecure to call him while she knows he's picking up his kids and checking in with you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:31 PM Flag
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This. I think completely normal to feel this way. She serves as a reminder but maybe getting these feelings mean that you’re still mourning the relationship. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:56 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:29 PM Flag
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+100 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:32 PM Flag
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Well, it makes sense that she would be insecure. She already knows he's a cheater; it's just a matter of time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:39 PM Flag
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totally agree. OP, you are doing 100X better that soon-to-be-cheated-on new GF [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 10:12 PM Flag
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ha, very normal - remember though it was your ex that broke the vows - my ex came from a very wealthy family - my kids send me photos from exotic and high end vacations and while I am happy for them and would never give my ex the satisfaction of knowing I am envious....I am envious [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 07:58 PM Flag
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Of course but ow is still a pos. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 08:56 PM Flag
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OW is a scrap digger [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:10 PM Flag
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Next time she calls , yell out I LOVE YOU STEVE (or whatever his name is). Bitch will stop calling [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 09:10 PM Flag