UrbanBaby

09.06.19, 20:55 PM General Topics
17 replies

I have been dating a guy for a couple of months. Can I ask him by text if he is sleeping with anyone- we are not yet. I feel like if I ask him in person- and I don’t like the answer o will be noticeably upset .. so want to feel that alone. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 09.06.19, 08:55 PM Flag

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

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UrbanBaby Support

what is wrong with you? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.06.19, 08:58 PM Flag

Oh, stop! [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.06.19, 09:25 PM Flag

If you can't ask him in person, doesn't sound like you're mature enough to be dating anyone. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.06.19, 09:00 PM Flag

You have been dating him for a couple months, but haven’t had sex yet, is that correct ? Are you moving towards sex, or is it actually platonic ? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.06.19, 09:10 PM Flag

Yes. Moving toward. I had a sexual assault so I am taking this very slowly. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.06.19, 09:12 PM Flag

I see. I think it’s ok. Maybe you could make it part of a larger discussion regarding when you might feel ready, and what you would need to feel ok about it. If you hadn’t gotten physical at all, it would be weird. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.06.19, 09:24 PM Flag

Thank you. It’s my first attempt to be with a man since it happened a couple of years ago. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.06.19, 09:25 PM Flag

I disagree with the responders on here. I think this can be a touchy subject for some depending on history. I think if you were having a flirty text conversation there may be an appropriate time to ask, but I also think that if you want to keep it more serious, you can mention on text in a very warm way that you might want to have that talk next time you go out. Just do it, though, and don't worry about your reaction. You have every right to know and maybe it's a good way to open to him a little and develop more connection [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.06.19, 09:28 PM Flag

Thank you [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.06.19, 09:29 PM Flag

This is good advice. There is no shame at all in having a reaction OP. And being in the. presence of him and feeling how he responds will let you know if he is the right person for you. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.06.19, 09:39 PM Flag

I would ask in person. I would hate to have to wait while he texts back. He could wait a whole day or two to text back. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.06.19, 09:47 PM Flag

Good point [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.06.19, 09:57 PM Flag

Also, in person, you have some chance of judging the truth of what he says. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:16 PM Flag

Yeah. Good point. [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.06.19, 10:16 PM Flag

agree with this. also, its not all about what he has/hasnt done. sounds like you are deciding if you are ready to be intimate with him. i think you should NOT phrase it as "have you slept with anyone", but instead ask if he considers you guys to be exclusive, or is he still dating others. texting about relationship issues is like passing notes in high school. You can be cool about it, ask with a smile. it's known as "the ta;k" where you find out if you are boy/girlfrind or one of many... [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:15 AM Flag

Yes [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:47 AM Flag

Did you post last week about dating a great, successful guy (with dominatrix friends) and you felt unworthy and nervous about it? [ Reply | More

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General Topics 09.07.19, 12:55 PM Flag