< Return to Talk
09.07.19, 18:36 PM General Topics
32 replies
If you received an expensive birthday gift from your dh that you really didn't like much, would you ask him to return it ? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 09.07.19, 06:36 PM Flag
 

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I suppose it depends what it is but yes have returned plenty gifts as gotten me. He means well but doesn’t always get it right and better to exchange and get something we are both happy with [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:38 PM Flag
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OP; here is the situation. My dh gave me two birthday gifts: a new ipad ( I guess I can use this but I'm not really excited about it, feel like my iphone and laptop have me covered ) and an Apple Pencil which I have no interest in. I have been trying unsuccessfully to get into a new career after staying home, and since I have no income, I rarely treat myself. I would really like to spend an equal amount of money on clothes and shoes rather than this unneeded technical stuff. Can I say that without sounding ungrateful ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:41 PM Flag
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I thought that too until I received an iPad for Christmas...I can’t love w/o it now. My laptop is like a one ton dinosaur compared to my iPad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:45 PM Flag
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Op here: yes, I have had two ipads in the past, so I get it. My last one died a year ago and I do not miss it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:46 PM Flag
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^ I think it really depends on how you spend your time and lifestyle type stuff. For me personally, I can't really use my software on an ipad so its only good for reading / facebook and I don't have time for that much [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:48 PM Flag
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So funny. I absolutely never thought I wanted an iPad. My dh gave me one one Christmas and it’s become like an extension of my hand. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:58 PM Flag
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Are these gifts a real financial stretch for you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:51 PM Flag
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I don't have any income of my own right now so I don't feel comfortable dropping 700-800 on myself (I am frugal, and a saver). As a result, I can't stop thinking about what I would *want* if I had this much money to spend on myself. And I would want new clothes and shoes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:56 PM Flag
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To clarify - I feel like if a person is going to spend that much money, it should be something they REALLY want. Not feel "meh" about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:57 PM Flag
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You know your DH better than we do, but if he really thought he was providing you something useful as you get back to work and it’s a. On-issue financially, he could be hurt if you want to return them for a jacket and pair of shoes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:04 PM Flag
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These are intended for personal use. He is a tech guy and he likes this stuff. I was always interested in fashion so thats what I like. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:18 PM Flag
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I don’t think he’ll be offended. Definitely return the pencil. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:54 PM Flag
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Absolutely. You don't have to be insulting when you do it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:45 PM Flag
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Op here: what would you say ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:46 PM Flag
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The apple pencil is $130 and I have been wearing the same sneakers for 3 years because I'm trying to stick to a budget. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 06:50 PM Flag
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My dh actually returned a gift he got me one Xmas (knife set) b/c he found he could get it a lot cheaper somewhere else. After I oohed and ahh'd about it, he packed it up and in a few days we got the less expensive one, ha ha. He's a good guy. I like his thriftyness. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:00 PM Flag
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No way. Rude. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:11 PM Flag
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^That said, we establish our budget jointly, and there's no way the price of an iPad would make the cut. If he said he needed a thousand bucks in the gift budget for me, I would hint to see what his intentions were. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 07:12 PM Flag
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He is your dh. Talk to him .. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:13 PM Flag
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I think it's too late now. He wanted to surprise you with something and make you happy. I think it would hurt his feelings to say you don't want it. But christmas is coming soon. Start hinting now about the clothes and sneakers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:19 PM Flag
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Sadly, I think you are right. We are Jewish, so don’t really do Christmas gifts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:35 PM Flag
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Why do so many women here think it's ok to behave like a spoiled child? "I don't want this present! Take it away and bring me something else!" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:26 PM Flag
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I am the op and I have said no such thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:28 PM Flag
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Wouldn’t most people feel upset if an $800 gift were basically going to waste ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:40 PM Flag
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I would rather my husband return the gift and get what he wanted vs it not being used. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:19 PM Flag
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A spouse's gift is different than any other gift. The money spent is also yours, so you have a bigger say. OP can thank DH extensively for the thought, but insist that she'd rather spend the money on something she really needs/wants. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:46 PM Flag
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I would definitely say something. DH and I have each returned gifts the other gave us, I would much rather that he have something he really likes than just put up with something meh, and vice versa. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 08:46 PM Flag
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This gift dissatisfaction is only a symptom. The real problem seems to be that you feel like DH is more entitled to spend the household income because he is the one earning it. It's weird, imo, for you to be foregoing clothing -- a necessity -- and receiving costly toys from him as if they are charity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 10:08 PM Flag
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OP here: thank you but I do not agree this is an accurate assessment of the issue. I would venture that perhaps you could be projecting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:08 PM Flag
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Yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.07.19, 11:18 PM Flag
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Yes I have and he stopped getting me things on a regular basis for years. Haha. I’m totally fine with it. Recently he got me a designer wallet which I would never buy for myself and I fought the urge to return it and have been using it. He’s also bought jewelry which I’ve exchanged. He didn’t seem to mind that time. I think if you are really nice about telling him, he might be accepting but it’s tough. Some men get really offended about this type of stuff...maybe bc they feel that they put a lot of thought into it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.08.19, 03:37 PM Flag
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I'm a DH and I would be offended if I was told to take it away, but there's nothing wrong with exchanging it for something you prefer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.09.19, 12:23 PM Flag
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