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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Any ideas when Goodwill ans other donation sites will reopen (In NYC)? And where to donate books in Manhattan - even before CoVID many places stopped accepting. TIA! 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:39 AM Flag
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Try Thred Up. They send the bag for donations and/or sales. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:45 AM Flag
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Sorry, just kids/women's clothes, not books. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:46 AM Flag
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Assoc to benefit children on east 86 takes kids stuff. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:19 AM Flag
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Donate books (when they reopen) to Housing Works. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:08 PM Flag
[ - ] How, if at all, did your regular skincare and makeup routine change from your 30s to your 40s? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:34 AM Flag
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Added retinol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:35 AM Flag
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I use less eye makeup than I used to [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:09 AM Flag
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Added a tinted sunscreen/ foundation. Switched to cream cleanser. Lighter makeup in general and no more matte lipstick. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:43 AM Flag
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Why did you give up matte? I still wear it (late 40s). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:41 PM Flag
[ - ] I am staying off FB because it is really triggering me into feeling even more lonely and left out. Can I get some props here? Anyone else sort of backing off social media now because of that feeling? 37 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:45 PM Flag
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I deactivated my Next Door about 2 months ago because I could not believe how many lunatics live near me. Shakers, scolders , “experts.” I have very few FB friends and put the annoying ones on ‘snooze.” [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:49 PM Flag
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OP: This is more to avoid being jealous / sad. I un-follow but still get tempted to check again and then feel bad all over again. I think on balance I feel better off FB. But hard to maintain it. I get addicted to it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:56 PM Flag
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I unfriended all but 50 people, who I actually have an ongoing personal relationship with, and I find FB a lot more enjoyable now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 06:03 PM Flag
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np. lol, I can't tell if I'm too old or too young to have never heard of "next door" (31yo) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:15 AM Flag
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I’m older and never heard of it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:17 AM Flag
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It’s like FB, but for your neighborhood community. It’s bonkers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:05 AM Flag
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Had felt this way a few weeks ago. A favorite FB group just imploded which is making me think I should cut ties. Why are you feeling left out? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:00 AM Flag
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What exactly triggers you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:09 AM Flag
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Jealousy about relationships, wealth, being more social, having country houses...I’m just raw right now [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:12 AM Flag
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I use to feel same as you, about exactly the same things. Now it doesn't bother me because I have realized that the posts say more about that person than what they are posting. They are insensitive, desperate for approval, and the picture does not tell the entire story. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:21 AM Flag
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np. It's mostly staged I hope ou realize that. Also, FB is a gallery for the best in people's lives. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:26 AM Flag
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^^don't we all tell our kids to not compare their inside with other people's outsides. It's exactly the same. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:45 AM Flag
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FB is triggering. Got off of it years ago and never looked back. Delete from you phone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:10 AM Flag
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+1. Deleted it ages ago, don't miss it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:35 AM Flag
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+2 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:05 AM Flag
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Embrace JOMO (joy of missing out). FB wasn't real anyway and social media is the pits. Find new hobbies and friends who feed your soul. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:33 AM Flag
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Is this when some of us are supposed to say we've never used FB? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:36 AM Flag
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Lol, yes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:58 AM Flag
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OK, I wouldn't use it if Mark Zuckerberg paid me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 04:11 PM Flag
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+1 I have a FB for the groups function but I never look at anyone's wall or anything like that. I am addicted to IG tho. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:59 PM Flag
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How is that any different at all??? It's even the same company. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 08:43 PM Flag
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For me, FB is all older folks while IG is my own generation [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 08:53 PM Flag
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Yes, I have been alone in the city this whole time and couldn't handle my friends' posts of gorgeous sunsets and walks on the beach with friends etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:12 AM Flag
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I have never been on FB. I have seen it a few times and so much of it seems to be braggy, otherwise annoying, openly self-promoting or downright offensive. I occasionally text photos or little stories back and forth with close friends and family members and that has always been enough for me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:34 AM Flag
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I’m just like you. I’ve never used FB and I’m so glad. I agree with the PP about Next Door. That site is getting crazier! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:48 PM Flag
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I hate FB. I'm really feeling like I'm going to quit it soon. The only reason that keeps me going back is the groups. Some of the info there is valuable but other than that I hate social media in general. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:21 AM Flag
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I’ve been ok so far RE current social situations, but I’ve stopped following various Facebook friends Because seeing their posts made me feel bad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:42 AM Flag
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...in the past. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:43 AM Flag
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What did they post that made you feel bad? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:45 AM Flag
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I don’t care about material things, but when I would see friends getting together where I felt left out, that would make me feel bad. So, I made it so I wouldn’t see it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:24 AM Flag
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I used to be triggered a lot by FB. I literally psycho-analyzed myself to figure out what triggers me. For instance, I have a FB friend who constantly posts political stuff in an inflammatory way. Although, I agree with him, his style of posting was really irritating for me. I realized he was shaming people in general in his posts and Iwas reacting to this shaming thing. After I realized this, the effect of his posts faded away. So, in a way I use FB as an observation place to psycho-analyzed myself and others. You can use it the same way to find out why you're being triggered. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 06:15 AM Flag
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I deleted my FB account after Cambridge Analytica story broke out, two years ago. I made a wow to call at least one friend or extended family member each week on my way home from work. I send occasional pics to my family and close friends. So fa so good. I have a professional twitter profile, so I get my immediate social media fix. I do not miss FB [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:23 PM Flag
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I've never done social media because I don't care to show off and I'd rather get together with people in person. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 06:52 PM Flag
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DS (working techie) and many of his cohort have abandoned FB because of the crazies and unfiltered content for truthfulness. I very rarely use FB other than selected private groups and people friended. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 07:15 PM Flag
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I don't use social media much, but sometimes I look at photos of my family and think, "if I posted this photo, no one would ever suspect that in the two hours before this my-sister-is-my-bestie shot, the girls were claiming they would never speak to each other again. I like seeing photos of people's lives, but I never take those photos as information about them. Plus, when I do know more about people because they're close friends, what I know never matches the images I see on FB. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 08:42 PM Flag
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If you are insecure, social media makes it worse. I have many friends like this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 09:54 PM Flag
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I totally agree. I actually love social media as a way to stay in touch with my real, authentic friends. I don't bother with the second or third tier acquaintances. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 10:00 PM Flag
[ - ] I really feel for you Moms with small kids and working going through this. I don't know how you are managing. Truly. Like, moms with kids under age 8. I never spent this much time with my kids ever - FT WOHM. Even on maternity leave I had sitters breaking up the day. They are teens now so it is doable. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:40 PM Flag
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Thanks. It actually really helps to hear this. Kids are 6 and 2. Every day is a struggle. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:50 PM Flag
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Omg how could it NOT be? Sending you big time validation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:56 PM Flag
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Thank you so much! My friends with older kids are constantly disappointed I'm not doing more social stuff with them... but I can barely get through the day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:29 AM Flag
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Omg, they are crazy, please don't feel pressured! I have a teen but a very intense job, there is absolutely no way I could do this with a small child and no help. I remember working on the weekend when DC was little and DH had to go to his office so it was just me, DC pounded on our BR door and yelled for me all through a conference call with a senior partner, our client and its crisis PR team, I felt like my personal crisis was the thing they should be strategizing about! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:39 AM Flag
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really helps to hear this. mine are 6 and 4 and i sometimes get these waves of rage and irritation and it makes me feel so guilty but man - i have zero free time ever between them and work and no childcare [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:44 AM Flag
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Yes! I second this! I'm working part-time with teens, and I'm barely holding it together. I don't know how you all are doing it, but a huge cheers to you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:20 AM Flag
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We live in a small apartment, have two preschoolers and DH was laid off partway through this mess. On a scale from -10 to +10, the first part when we were both working was -7.5 (and only not -10 because nobody in my family had covid) and the second part has been like -4. I am incredibly grateful that thus far my entire extended family has been healthy and it has been nice to eat most meals together as a family, but otherwise this has been really tough. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:39 AM Flag
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I’m very thankful that my youngest is almost 10, my husband still Has a job, I have time to manage my kids and the house and I have Easy access to private outdoor space. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:27 AM Flag
[ - ] How long is your high schooler’s commute to school in the city? Our kids are young and we live in Manhattan. We are splitting up and DH wants the option to move when the kids are in high school and have them commute up to an hour each way. I think that’s too long and the kids will be busy then too. What do you think? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:24 PM Flag
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How is he planning to have them commute? If he’s offering chauffeur car service, I’d be fine with that. If he’s talking about having them drive to the train station, take the LIRR and switch to the sub, that seems ridiculous - whoever is near their school should have them on school nights. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:35 PM Flag
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Op: def not a car service. I think he is imagining living in Westchester and taking metro north in. I am pushing back on this option though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:03 AM Flag
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That also seems crazy to me, esp if you are living near their school [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:07 AM Flag
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That’s crazy. UWS to UES takes 1 hr [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:19 AM Flag
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DC is a HS senior, has spent the last four years commuting from UWS to Soho on the 1 train, it's an easy peasy commute, about 25-40 minutes each way depending on delays and time of day, and he's been very, very happy to give it up during quarantine. Adults hate the commute from Westchester to GCT without adding a subway component, DCs would be miserable if they had to do MetroNorth plus subway. I don't see how they could do that and look at any schools farther than midtown, which is ridiculous, or do anything after school. Seriously, DH is crazy if he thinks this is ok for kids, they will end up hating him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:44 AM Flag
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Op: I agree- thank you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:47 AM Flag
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DH should also consider that when they are in HS, they will be old enough to have a say in visitation, if they object to something this crazy there is a very good chance they would be able to refuse to do it, and then he would not see his kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:55 AM Flag
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Good point. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:34 AM Flag
[ - ] Back in mid March I was walking my dog and she surged at a cat in a window twisting my hand in the leash. Two fingers swelled for a few days and then were bruised. It has mostly healed but one knuckle continues to be larger and can be made sore by excess dish washing or other activity. Is there a chance I broke it? Should I see a doc? It is annoying because it is my right hand. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:03 PM Flag
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They can stay sore for a long while, but you might want to get it checked. I once fell skiing and hurt my thumb. The local ER told me it was a sprain but get it checked in a couple of weeks if it still hurt. On recheck, I had actually torn the tendon away from the bone and had surgery to reattach. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:26 PM Flag
[ - ] Where can I find the protest schedule for Sunday in NYC? Thanks! 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 10:44 PM Flag
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@justiceforgeorgenyc on insta [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:43 AM Flag
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Thank you so much [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:01 AM Flag
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Are you on Instagram? @justiceforgeorgeNYC is posting constant updates and posts each borough's schedule every day [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 06:35 PM Flag
[ - ] My back yard is heaven right now, after walk in gorgeous local park on water. Almost never feel positivity. Trying to be in it now, for a few minutes, drinking Prosecco and dh making dinner. Thank you.x 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 10:33 PM Flag
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Sounds wonderful. Enjoy! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 10:39 PM Flag
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Enjoy!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 10:39 PM Flag
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Be in the moment and enjoy. xoxo back at you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 10:49 PM Flag
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It's the little things that add up to happiness. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 10:58 PM Flag
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nice! I live in Williamsburg, and it's kinda amazing how uplifting it is to be in Domino Park or the state park on the river - enjoy! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:14 PM Flag
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We have to take the good moments when we can. Glad you found some peace. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:57 AM Flag
[ - ] Any North Carolina moms? Which cities would you recommend to someone relocating from NYC (couple in their 50s) we love theater, the arts in general and possible a place where it is easy to make new friends and not necessarily drive all the time... I have only visited Charlotte many years ago. Doing some research on line but always best to hear from residents. Thanks 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 10:29 PM Flag
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I enjoyed living in Chapel Hill/Carrboro back in the late 90's. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 10:55 PM Flag
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Funny you should ask, I'm in Raleigh and we love it here (moved 9 years ago). Are you retired? With kids? Though there are theater and arts; nothing is close to NYC. The area near downtown Raleigh is close to the performing arts center, fantastic restaurants. Some of these neighborhoods include older homes or new high-rise buildings...many cases a walk or short bus ride. The main art museum is set in a wonderful large park area; but outside of downtown. Downtown Durham also has a large performing arts center and other venues. The feeling of the cities in the triangle are different, but all are great places to land--and easy to go between for concerts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:03 PM Flag
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op- thanks. Not retired yet. I would be looking for a job, dh can work from anywhere and will most likely retire in a few years. One dd will be going to college on west coast where her father lives (ex dh) but would visit often. I don't think dh wants to buy, we would probably rent. But for me particularly very important to be in a safe, urban environment, with access to some stores, maybe museums etc. Great plus if there is some sort of expat community or at least cultural diversity (we have lived in Europe for a number of years and of course will miss the diversity in NYC). Thank you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:20 PM Flag
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OR: I think that when things return to normal a long weekend visit to the Triangle could be a lot of fun to explore all the areas. There is a lot of friendly rivalries within the Triangle, but for the most part, all have plenty of ex-pats/people from bigger cities and what you are looking for. Traffic is picking up considerably--I'd pick a city (within the triangle) closer to your job (especially if you want to minimize the time in the car). Though others are mentioning Asheville, there are likely fewer jobs and it's much more of a vacation spot with little performing arts (but beautiful scenery and great restaurants) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:52 PM Flag
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This should give you a sense of the area in downtown Raleigh; lots of rentals/condos and most restaurants are very walkable. A new development with a Publix is about to open. https://www.downtownraleigh.org/explore [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:57 PM Flag
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We lived in the Triangle and in Charlotte and I'd definitely recommend either Asheville or the Triangle -- especially Durham, Carrboro, Chapel Hill if you want something walkable. All four towns are quite liberal, artsy, plenty of people who've moved there specifically for what you're seeking. Best for theater would be Durham for its Performing Arts Center (DPAC), which gets off-Broadway shows. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:05 PM Flag
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op- thank you, very helpful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:21 PM Flag
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^ Are these cities relatively safe? Another thing that I have only heard of is the hurricanes/ weather threats. That worries me a bit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:23 PM Flag
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All of these are inland and will not experience a hurricane as anything other than a severe thunderstorm after it has made landfall. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:33 PM Flag
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Yes - hurricanes maybe once every 10 years, but mostly knocks down trees and power lines - it’s a bit of a mess to get around afterwards but cleanup is usually done in a few days. From NC and hurricane risk wouldn’t deter me from returning at all [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:41 PM Flag
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We have a lived in Durham for many, many years and love it here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:32 PM Flag
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From Charlotte area, and I would also recommend the triangle area or Asheville; these would be my choices if I were to return. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:32 PM Flag
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Thank you. How far is it to get to a nice beach in the summer, from say Asheville, or Durham? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:38 PM Flag
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Durham is a bit closer to the NC beaches (maybe 3 hours vs 5 from Asheville). I really like the SC beaches though, esp Kiawah and Hilton Head - both are about 5 hours from either city [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:44 PM Flag
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+1 - both Durham and Asheville have a really vibrant and safe downtown area with lots of good housing options (townhomes, condos, etc). Artsy scene will be a bit better in Durham (eg they just had the national tour of Hamilton come through), but Asheville has immediate access to the outdoors and us much more scenic [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:39 PM Flag
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I visited Asheville in the fall and absolutely loved it. More of an artisan than fine art vibe, but such a fun town in a stunning landscape. Very Burlington, VT esque. That said, I don't know that there are many job opportunities there. Triangle area seems very lovely if you're looking for a more traditional burb life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:22 AM Flag
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I live in Wilmington and really love it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:31 AM Flag
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Just moved. Live in Cary , work in Raleigh, visit Durham. Cary is the best! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:08 AM Flag
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Welcome! Amazing how many of us are on UB right now. Raleigh poster above. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:01 AM Flag
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Love it! I feel so lucky to be here !! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 08:22 PM Flag
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Have you considered Louisville? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:28 AM Flag
[ - ] Dh's son from previous marriage is in med school after a Master in Public Health and has been working with a very important virologist in the area. We sometimes ask about studies/new covid related info that we might have missed and yesterday I really worried when he said that there has been a study showing that people with A blood type are usually more seriously affected by disease if they get it. Is it true? That is both mine and dh's blood type. We have been very careful these months (although dh tends to be dismissive and this bothers me) but this news is just adding some worry. Thanks 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 10:08 PM Flag
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Yes, it was NYT too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 10:12 PM Flag
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there have been a few reports about this. I also have A and it makes me worried. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 10:13 PM Flag
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yes, just read it as well. I am type A as well. Just keep being vigilant. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 10:55 PM Flag
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I love that your son, who works with a renowned virologist told you something and you came to UB to see if it was true. Best post ever. And I also have read about certain blood types reacting more to COVID . [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:16 PM Flag
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op- I don't know... trust him but just felt like getting opinions from ladies here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:24 PM Flag
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NP: wow!!! Read back again. You are double checking an opinion of an expert by asking people who have no experience. I feel bad for your accountant, doctor and other expert who work with you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:42 PM Flag
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^this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:59 PM Flag
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Is it that surprising? People constantly get second opinions here from things their gynecologist, divorce attorney, etc told them [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:42 AM Flag
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I think it's surprising that someone would fact-check a current news story here instead of Google or NYT, yes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:57 AM Flag
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Seriously, you didn't even Google this, your first thought was to check with UB? Wow, ok. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:46 AM Flag
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+1 million. WTF. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:54 AM Flag
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I am waiting for someone to ask here about how to change blood types. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:13 AM Flag
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Lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:33 AM Flag
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Infuse some bleach, duh! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:30 AM Flag
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You're funny! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 07:10 PM Flag
[ - ] Any MD mom? I had posted about upper/mid back ache, particularly at night. Today it seemed to have gotten better (3 days) I have suffered from seasonal allergies and usually for me that means some sneezing, runny nose and itchy eyes. I was fine the past 2 weeks but this morning woke up w red eyes and just a slight burning sensation (no itching) which seems to have persisted) also some post nasal drip. Could this also be allergies? Just trying to figure things out. I contacted my doctor and unfortunately they don't offer video sessions and he wants me to go in, Next available appt is in 6 days. I tend to worry a lot, but have not been exposed to anyone for almost 4 months. Always wear mask and gloves if getting groceries and wipe down everything... sorry for long post. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 09:49 PM Flag
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Yes allergies and you are fine going to your doctor [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 09:50 PM Flag
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op- thanks, I used some Visine drops but eyes are still feeling irritated... since this morning. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 10:02 PM Flag
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Visine is not allergy eye drops. Get allergy eye drops and take Allegra [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:09 PM Flag
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^also, I live in a state with very small covid infection rates. Suburbia and very spread out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 09:56 PM Flag
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I had this, it was allergies. Got Flonase and cleared up. Maybe try that and see how you feel. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 10:56 PM Flag
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agree - with this. add Benadryl at night and/or Claritin. stretch for your back ache - it's probably muscular. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:16 PM Flag
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op- thank you. I hope it's just muscular. Someone here on previous post mentioned "the start of shingles" and that got me worried. I don't think that's the case though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:26 PM Flag
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op- thank you. Flonase sounds like a good idea. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:25 PM Flag
[ - ] Any MDs on? Took an uber today but didn't open the window during the ride. Driver put on a mask when we got into the car and had it on the whole time. We were wearing masks as well. Now I am freaking out and worried if COVID particles were lingering in the air inside the car (from earlier passengers or the driver before we got on)! 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 09:20 PM Flag
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Omg you are FINE [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 09:46 PM Flag
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Hi op, I would feel the same way, I understand. I have just posted above you. I find I tend to freak out with any symptom these days. Recently it had been backache and today red eyes... I hope they learn more about Covid and that we can all feel less scared. I think related to your Uber drive, you are fine - you were both wearing masks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 09:51 PM Flag
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Thanks! Same here. :( [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:35 PM Flag
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you're fine [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 10:57 PM Flag
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You cannot get Covid from lingering on surfaces. Fact [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:27 PM Flag
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Stop, please. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:34 PM Flag
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So why'd you get in the car to begin with? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:37 AM Flag
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i think covid is just allowing everyone to live out their secret anxieties... very smll chance you could have contacted it like this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 03:44 PM Flag
[ - ] walked with a friend last night. She stopped to talk to someone she ran into for 15 minutes as I waited. It was hot and getting dark. I am annoyed. Should I have walked away? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 08:52 PM Flag
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i don't like it when that happens. maybe you should have looked at the time and said "oh, i have to go, bye!" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 08:53 PM Flag
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This! "Hey Jane, it's getting late, I'll head home" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 09:40 PM Flag
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"Hi, I'm Liz! How do you do!" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 09:11 PM Flag
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Hi, OR! I'm NP! That doesn't sound like it would solve the problem, does it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 10:53 PM Flag
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Hi NP! In a new social situation many people introduce themselves. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:24 AM Flag
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She was rude [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 10:46 PM Flag
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If it was really for 15 full minutes, then yeah, after 10 minutes I'd say "I'm kinda hot, I hope you don't mind but I'm gonna head back. Let's do this again soon though!" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:14 PM Flag
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Why so apologetic when the friend is being rude to you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:16 AM Flag
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This! Be cheerful but firm and just leave. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:31 AM Flag
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I would've said- Why don't you catch up with your friend? Jane I'm going to keep walking. Nice to meet you" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:17 PM Flag
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This [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:42 PM Flag
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Same here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 11:09 AM Flag
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Is the same poster whose friends were wishy washy and self-involved? Sounds like even more of the same. Walk by yourself - who needs this crap. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:46 PM Flag
[ - ] I am sure that my husband acts like a little child in social settings and I and my 18 year old son feel embarrassed. For instance, my son's friends wave him to say hello and he giggles like a child towards them while telling my son to wave them back. Very little things like that but they add up. Otherwise he is a good person towards our son and a good provider. Do I openly talk to my son about his father's shortcomings? Is it better to address them openly or not? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 07:56 PM Flag
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This seems pretty unkind. How about you love him for who he is and expect the same from your son? Most kids are embarrassed of both of their parents at that age. Builds character. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 08:18 PM Flag
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op: while he is extra nice and accommodating towards other people, he is sarcastic and off-putting towards me. our son only talks with me at home, he doesn't share even important things with his dad. something is amiss obviously that's why I feel a need to explain to my son that I am also aware. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 08:31 PM Flag
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Could be Aspergers. Read some online checklists or the Eva Mendes book on Aspergers and see if it’s familiar. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 09:28 PM Flag
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It seems like you are the one embarrassed by your DH. You should be more kind. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:18 PM Flag
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Do not try to manage your son's and his father's relationship. At 18, DS can figure out what relationship he wants with his father. If he asks for help, follow his lead, but don't assume you know what DS feels unless he's told you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:50 PM Flag
[ - ] How to handle a 12 DS who always has something to say? Everything is a negotiation or argument. I literally avoid him at times now. He is exhausting. Most certainly hurting our relationship because I don't find him enjoyable. Can't simply go with the flow. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 07:37 PM Flag
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can you give an example of a recent interaction? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 07:39 PM Flag
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I just try to ignore the non-important comments as if I didn't hear them. But I agree, they are exhausting. It's like dealing with a cranky old man. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 07:50 PM Flag
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I’m so in for it. This is my 5 year old. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 08:35 PM Flag
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Drink more [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 09:51 PM Flag
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This age. Ugh. It's when they are no longer little kid cute but still needy all the same. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 10:28 PM Flag
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This. Tough age. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 10:37 PM Flag
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try humor and wait for times where he wants to really talk. tell him you love him to pieces when he's being a jerk. just don't fall in to the trap of arguing with him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:18 PM Flag
[ - ] Curious to hear opinions: my 13yo daughter is at a mostly healthy weight but inarguably sort of out of shape. (She used to play sports and has fallen out of it, and her pediatrician also told her to exercise more.) She wants me to offer her an incentive to workout - like a reward after a month of consistency. I told her I don't like the messaging of this...we've already gotten into it when she asks me to hold her accountable for a workout, then she doesn't (then gets mad when I remind her). I don't want to signal that I am concerned about her weight, which I feel that a "reward" does. But at the same time, if it helped motivate her, perhaps I am overthinking this and it would be a goal? How would you handle? I told her no, but maybe I've viewing this incorrectly. 49 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 07:32 PM Flag
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I agree w being anti reward system . 13 yr olds usually don't want a work out for the sake of working out. What is fun that she will actually do and enjoy? Dance game? Hiking/walking? to me that wasn't fun at 13 though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 07:35 PM Flag
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We've been trying different things, nothing has really stuck but I guess we'll keep trying! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 07:41 PM Flag
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or just let it be. I think these things need to come from within. no one wants to be told to do it. She needs to want to do it. when schools go back to normal, she will get more activity [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 07:44 PM Flag
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Op: totally agree, this has to come from her. I keep telling her that. :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 07:59 PM Flag
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It sounds like it is coming from her. She wants to do it and is asking her mother for support. It makes no sense to turn her down and is kind of a mean thing to do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 08:43 PM Flag
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That's true, which is why I am torn. I'd love to encourage good habits, but am not sure that, like, Airpods or whatever is the right way to get her there. That said, if it taught her to love a type of exercise, then maybe I am being too short-sighted. I just cringe at the notion of her thinking or saying: "my mom is paying me to get into shape," which is not how I view body image or fitness at all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 08:59 PM Flag
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+1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:52 AM Flag
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"Your reward is my recognizing that your fitness is your responsibility. You aren't a dog, I won't give you treats." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 07:38 PM Flag
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Yes, that's what I've been saying. Not really resonating. :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 07:40 PM Flag
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Then she can deal with the potential consequences. It sucks, but you can't control everything. If she chooses to be out of shape, that's her choice, she can reverse that if she wants to. Part of parenting is letting go :) you can tell them what the good choices are, but you can't force it on them. It seems she understands what the good choice is because she's trying to get "treats" out of it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 07:44 PM Flag
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Oh yes, for sure. I have told her that this is up to her, that I can't manage it for her. I just wasn't sure about the reward part - I do think it would make her do it, but I really don't like the message behind it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 07:58 PM Flag
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NP: I agree with this. I don't see it as any different from a kid saying, "I'm not going to be motivated to get As at school unless you buy me stuff." It's obnoxious. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 10:41 PM Flag
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WTF? Some of you are so harsh on your kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 08:44 PM Flag
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I know! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 10:38 PM Flag
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Off topic but I used to be nanny to a boy who was given presents all day long for desired behaviors. One day he woke from a nap and asked me where his present was. I said there was no present. He cried, "but I took my nap." I told him my present to him was that I did not offer a present. He got it, briefly, but his parents had already ruined him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:21 AM Flag
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OP: oof, good for you! That poor child when he grows up and realizes that the world is not built on constant rewards. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 09:12 PM Flag
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If you are concerned about her weight, I would work on food options more than exercise. Isn't she still growing though? Maybe about to have a growth spurt? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 07:42 PM Flag
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OP: she has definitely been making better eating choices since quarantine, since she can't buy crap food at school. She is still growing too. But really, this is more about her fitness. I'll just let it be for now. Thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 08:00 PM Flag
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Sticker chart? DC used to be super active and likewise is totally out of shape now. I am not concerned about weight, but being strong, fit and getting the mental benefits of a workout. She also cannot get organized and wants me to hold her accountable, which I don't like. So I offered a sticker chart and she thought it was hilarious but motivating. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 07:49 PM Flag
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OP: LOL! I'm going to suggest this (can't wait for the eye roll) and agree on the fit and strong part. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 08:02 PM Flag
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get her on habitica [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 08:03 PM Flag
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I would do it since she is asking. Come up with fun rewards with her. She is only 13. Many adults who exercise actually put goals in place with potential rewards for themselves: want to be in shape for a vacation or hiking trip, or 2 days at a location after a big race. Whatever. I personally think you are overthinking this. It is awesome that she cares about her fitness and wants to work toward a goal at this age, esp. if the ped recommends it. Many teens would recoil at the idea. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 08:41 PM Flag
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OP: thanks for this. It's good perspective, and maybe if the end result is that she gets into the habit, it's worth it. I'm just conscious of it, since I grew up with a mom who focused on my weight, despite the fact that I am very skinny naturally and in shape. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 08:54 PM Flag
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I 100% agree with this. She wants something to make her look forward to it and to keep her motivated, and like you said, getting her into the habit is what's most important. If she gets into it, you can phase out the rewards later. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:12 PM Flag
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Op: thank you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:18 PM Flag
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I agree. Come up with some rewards together if she is asking. I think you are overthinking it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 10:39 PM Flag
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another agree [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:20 PM Flag
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OP: thank you both. As I said, I'm pretty vigilant about weight-shaming in our house after growing up with it (my skinny mom was never really happy with her weight, and though I am quite thin, I had to work to break that mental cycle, so I do not want to pass it on), and I didn't want to be, like, the mom who offered a reward for losing weight, which I find gross. But I suppose this isn't that, and I can reframe that for myself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:18 AM Flag
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Yes, I get it. If she is asking for a reward, ask her what she wants that reward to be. My dh runs and he sets goals such as 100 miles per month. Have her set a monthly goal and maybe do something fun if she makes it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:10 PM Flag
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Definitely don’t tie the reward to her weight, but what if you do a challenge together (like a 30-day yoga challenge, couch 2 5k, something found on strava, etc) and say “let’s do this together and if/when we finish we can treat ourselves to a shopping/spa day.” [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 08:43 PM Flag
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OP: this is a great idea, thank you! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 08:55 PM Flag
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ITA on tying the reward to doing the exercises. Many adults need motivation, don't we all look for group classes, running buddies, apps and what not? Just don't turn it into a battle. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 09:42 PM Flag
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OP: thanks, yes, this is what I want to avoid. Right now, she tells me to hold her accountable for a workout, then when I remind her, she gets mad at me. (Sort of typical teenage behavior, but it's frustrating to me bc I have tried to raise her with no body shaming, having grown up in a house where skinny was valued. So just trying to avoid any of those pitfalls.) We don't even own a scale, so I definitely de-emphasize the weight aspect, and maybe I can just highlight the fitness aspect of it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:20 PM Flag
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I’m not a fan of rewards for fitness. I work in fitness and this is not the way you want to build a habit. She needs to find something she enjoys... maybe make a game out of trying new things? Like a challenge to do a new form of exercise few days? There will be something that clicks. But also 13 is young. I basically work out for a living and didn’t start until my 20s when I found something I loved. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 08:50 PM Flag
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OP: thanks. Yes, some of her incentive is to change how she looks, but I'm not a fan of that perspective. That said, of course I want to encourage her to develop healthy habits. I've been encouraging her to try new exercise options - she did YouTube for a while, tried some Peloton bootcamps, tried the bike, tries jogging, etc. Nothing really sticks but I'm going to keep trying! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 08:56 PM Flag
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a dance class maybe? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:55 AM Flag
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Team reward here. She’s telling you that she wants to be held accountable and is essentially asking you to help her build the ability to be accountable to herself. Start with rewards, which will allow her to be publicly accountable (to you), and she will eventually develop her own goals and her own motivation and learn intrinsic motivation. It’s not going to come from nowhere and she’s young! I get what your saying about it should be her responsibility, but working out is learned like anything else. When she needed to learn to do her hair, you taught and helped her, and eventually she could it it solo. This is the same. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 09:16 PM Flag
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You’re, not your. Sorry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 09:17 PM Flag
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np. Good take, between 10 and 11yo I spent every day tryign to convince DD to wash her oily hair. At 12 now, I can't get her out of the bathroom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 09:50 PM Flag
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oh - I understand! my dd was iffy on hair washing for years, but now at 15, she's finally more committed to grooming although she's always showered. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:21 PM Flag
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OP: thank you! This is very helpful and the reason why I'm wavering. I just didn't want to be sending the message of: "oh, my mom rewards me if I burn calories." Or whatever. But I guess if she is asking to be held accountable, then I can find a low-key way to do that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:17 PM Flag
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My kid needs to work out for her sport and she's not excited about it. (She loves the sport but not the workouts.) I read books of her choice to her while she works out - one book usually takes a couple weeks. It means I have to invest more time in the workouts than I would in the sport in general, but it's made the workouts feel more fun. My preschooler comes in and listens to the books, too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 10:36 PM Flag
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OP: that is a sweet little partnership you guys have going! xo [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:20 PM Flag
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She's almost as old as your daughter, so I'm taking these moments while I can! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 01:09 PM Flag
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When I was that age I was not on any sports teams but was hell-bent on getting a President's Physical Fitness patch to sew on my gym uniform (that horrible snap up jumpsuit with bloomers). I think this was because the larger culture I grew up in was sports minded. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 12:54 AM Flag
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OP: I remember the Presidential Physical Fitness test! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:54 AM Flag
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Make her wear a corset. Her reward when she reaches her goal is to not have to wear it anymore. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 06:26 PM Flag
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don't call it a reward, call it positive reinforcement. it will work better if it is something small but given more frequently, as an immediate thing. but praise and attention count as reinforcements as well. and skip the bugging her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 06:31 PM Flag
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^^ the mom who is reading to her kid during workouts? that's attention as a positive reinforcement. you don't have to reward with food or expensive gadgets. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 06:40 PM Flag
[ - ] Looking for a virtual forensic science summer program for rising 11th grader (since the summer job at a camp evaporated). Georgetown has one, but the tuition for ONE WEEK is $2300. Applied for the free CUNY summer program for high schoolers but was wait-listed. Any leads? TIA. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 07:18 PM Flag
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There's a teen tour location offering one: https://www.westcoastconnection.com/programs/learn/pre-college-enrichment/online-courses/ It is only $300, but it is only afternoons for a week. I think Syracuse has one. It is probably the same cost as Georgetown's but runs for 3 weeks. I saw one somewhere else too--maybe Northwestern? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 07:29 PM Flag
[ - ] Have people seen that a dozen+ actors have come out saying how nasty Lea Michele is? Pretty damning. Who else have you heard is secretly horrible? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 06:50 PM Flag
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saw that, It started out as a claim of her being racist and then everyone came out saying same thing. so not really racist but just awful person? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 07:00 PM Flag
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Exactly [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 07:57 PM Flag
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Agree [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 09:52 PM Flag
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Actually, it seemed like one comment may have been racially charged. Either way, she was a bitch to everyone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 10:06 PM Flag
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Instead I'll talk about the sweet ones I've met. P. Diddy, Joseph Simmons, Chris Rock, Snoop. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 07:23 PM Flag
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For me: Christian Slater, Christie Brinkley, Peter Gallagher, Steve Goldblum, Anthony Anderson. All lovely [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 07:28 PM Flag
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Same experience with Chris Rock. I met him unexpectedly in London a few years ago (he was assigned to a table next to mine which happened to be located in an small, semi-private nook of a restaurant). He was funny and endearing. My party was four people and his was three and within minutes we put our tables together and had the best evening of laughs). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.07.20, 02:02 AM Flag
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Why would he do this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.08.20, 04:37 AM Flag
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her boyfriend died [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 08:52 PM Flag
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So that made her racist? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 09:23 PM Flag
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Right, but this was happening before Cory died [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 09:27 PM Flag
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She's been a terror since she was on Broadway at 12. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:12 PM Flag
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It's always been out there that she wasn't a nice person. Did you read that one fellow actor's comment that she was awful as far back as 12 when she was on broadway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 10:41 PM Flag
[ - ] https://nypost.com/2020/06/06/nyc-moms-facebook-group-implodes-after-intense-diversity-fight/ 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 06:43 PM Flag
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that is very unflattering. I wonder why she did it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 06:55 PM Flag
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The real conversations on the page, before the closure, were muddled by both sides with personal attacks. I looked at the people posting the most inflammatory comments, and they seemed to have no real profile or pictures - I am convinced that people were going to extremes to crate drama and racial tension. That's not to say that real conversations needed to be had - they did. But when you're called militant or racist for expressing any dissenting opinion, it doesn't exactly promote dialogue (or a safe space in which to have it). We only know what a few people posted incessantly - not what people were privately expressing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 08:07 PM Flag
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similar thing happening in SF mom's group, but it's too much to follow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 08:54 PM Flag
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Every different Facebook group I am on is now like this. Everyone angry at the moderator. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 10:41 PM Flag
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Many of my groups are too. No one can voice any sane objections. A moderator of a group I'm in made some bad, but not racist, calls and is being booted out of all related subgroups. And all around just being targeted in a very destructive way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:11 PM Flag
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The strangest thing about the entire saga is why would anyone want to be the mod of a FB group so badly that they are willing to be berated, name-called, etc. It sounds like a lot of thankless work, it doesn't pay anything...what am I missing? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:18 PM Flag
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It makes them feel important and powerful? That’s why she shut the group down instead of just quitting in the first place. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:38 PM Flag
[ - ] I really want to change my ex's visitation schedule. He is unwilling. What are my options? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 06:38 PM Flag
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Go back to court but you would need a valid reason. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 06:39 PM Flag
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Unless you have a good reason, you have no options. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 10:42 PM Flag
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Can I ask what it is now and what you would prefer? Going through a divorce and not sure what the best schedule would be for the kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.06.20, 11:21 PM Flag
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