• Filter the conversation
 

Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] The tone of this board has really changed. It used to be really sassy and witty. Anyone else find this banter boring? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:23 PM Flag
»
not really. Just fewer people here. I actually find the lack of birkin and HHI talk refreshing [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:24 PM Flag
»
it's boring. i'm bored. but, i'm even more bored with dh, so i'm here. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:25 PM Flag
»
that is the saddest thing I've heard in a long time. Get a hobby or something [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:29 PM Flag
»
Then you are boring [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:29 PM Flag
»
Ignore the above two posters. Of course we're bored with DH. Why else would we be here? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:31 PM Flag
»
I'm not bored with him. I'm just tired. He is watching some sports thing I dont care about. Not bored with him , just more fun here [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:32 PM Flag
»
True I have not bumped into the HHI question yet. Hated when those came on. And the fashion questions about what to where with those new shoes -- and then they would post them. UGGGG don't miss that a bit [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:26 PM Flag
»
ditto. It's slow but it's nicer. More like the UB when I started in 2002. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:40 PM Flag
»
Yes. I think, ironically, that the ability to write longer posts invites more boring posts. The forced short length of the old format led to snipper, snappier questions and responses. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:25 PM Flag
»
It's a bit boring, but could you just tell me if it's typical to not have a baby shower for any db born after #1? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:26 PM Flag
»
LOL! Around here people seem to think it's the tackiest thing ever. It doesn't bother me though. Some of my frends have done it. Who cares? Any excuse for a party is good enough for me [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:27 PM Flag
»
I have had showers for #2 but they were not thrown by me. My work insisted. I wouldn't do it. But I had 2 girls. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:29 PM Flag
»
bite me [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:31 PM Flag
[ - ] Is it typical to have a baby shower with db #2? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:22 PM Flag
»
No, it is tacky [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:52 PM Flag
[ - ] If you or DH has been laid off from Wall Street. Did you get part of anticipated bonus as part of your severance package? Or only salary for x months? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:21 PM Flag
»
DH was let go in Oct and as par tof his neogtiated deal, recieved a 10.12 bonus and one year pay and $$$ for cobra for that time. But he was there a long time and was let go as a management power play, not for cause, loss of revenue or down sizing..... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:23 PM Flag
»
Thanks. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:28 PM Flag
»
I have been laid of twice. In neither case did I get a pro-rata of my anticipated bonus. I got WARN, salary and benefits for X mos, immediate vesting of stock grants and options, and outplacement. I consulted an attorney each time, and was advised that a pro-rata of bonus is almost impossible to get without an employment contract that stipulates it as a term of severance. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:26 PM Flag
»
Thanks! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:28 PM Flag
»
No problem. You should consult an attorney if you have a garden leave agreement, a non-compete, or any other agreements that may impact future employment. Especially if you live/work outside of NY. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:29 PM Flag
»
I was asking for my dh. He is going to check with an attorney. Thank you. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:30 PM Flag
[ - ] here's the weird thing. dd will go to private next year. it was a hard choice for us, but it's done and we're lucky to get an accept. when some moms ask, and i tell them about next year they i hear, 'great school, we just can't afford it.' no other topic would make people disclose their financial life. even w/friends going to private everyone explains how they can afford it. (parents, etc.) so weird. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
NY Schools 06.22.08, 06:20 PM Flag
»
I think it just depends on where you live. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:23 PM Flag
»
np: Must be, though I am on UWS which is more laid back then UES and still nobody explains either way. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:24 PM Flag
»
What do you mean by "nobody explains either way"? I live on the UWS and no one I know would every say "we can't afford it". [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:58 PM Flag
»
np: I am on UWS and I say all the time when people ask about privates that we cannot afford it. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:04 PM Flag
»
Why would you say that? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:15 PM Flag
»
or: People asked where we were sending dc. Up until a week ago we had no idea (waiting on G&T). When people asked i would say, our zoned school is bad, can;t afford private and still no G&T placement yet. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:25 PM Flag
»
Oh - that's different. I was picturing someone saying "Mary is going to Trinity next fall" and then your answering "Trinity is great but we can't afford it". [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:42 PM Flag
»
This is a weird time economically for everyone. Growing up in NYC and attending private school - NO one ever talked about money. Now we all seem to lay it all out in the open - for better or for worse. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:24 PM Flag
»
that's interesting. so you mean if we weren't in this slowdown people wouldn't mention it. i think that's right. we're all anxious. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:28 PM Flag
»
I think so. It's a shame, because we may even be unconsciously passing down this overt awareness of $ as a level of worth to our dcs. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:34 PM Flag
»
what would be wrong with that? I fully expect my dcs to have an understanding of money and it value. it doesn't grow on trees, KWIM? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:40 PM Flag
»
Oh,no that's not what I meant. I actually really appreciate that my parents taught me the value of $ and that we had to work for it. I just never remember hearing my parents or their friends or mine talk about money in the sense of "this person has it, this person doesn't." I may not be articulating this very well. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:44 PM Flag
»
np: doesn't seem like a big deal for kids to hear this. I remeber being very aware of not having it by age 8-9. my dcs notice people who seem poor, or the homeless. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:46 PM Flag
»
np and no, it's those of you in finance and related fields who are suddenly realizing maybe public would be a more prudent choice. Many of us never ever considered private, except maybe as a way outside possibility with a ton of FA, and even then... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:39 PM Flag
»
op here. not in finance, extremely conservative financially and not wealthy. it will be hard for us to pay for this. but if it comes to a point when we can't afford it, we'll cross that bridge then. doesn't make sense to deny our dc an excellent school. and btw, we are leaving our 'good' zoned public, so i am not 'all about private.' [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:44 PM Flag
»
don't worry about it, that is how i react because it is true, but i wouldn't say it about other things. it isn't disgraceful, just the fact, any my ds will get a great education. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:41 PM Flag
»
ita. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:11 PM Flag
[ - ] My best friends dad's cancer is in stage 4 and got the test results back on friday that the treatments arent helping. I feel so horrible for her she can never catch a break... She is not emotional and gets mad when I started tearing when she talks about. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:14 PM Flag
»
sounds like the type you just leave alone. don't crowd her now. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:15 PM Flag
»
that is what i am doing... she told our other best friend (who is less emotional) - i dont know if i should send her a card i am thinking of her or wait till she calls me but i want her to know i am here [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:16 PM Flag
»
if my dad had stage 4 cancer i would appreciate a card but not a phone call. to tough to actually "speak" to someone. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:21 PM Flag
»
thanks [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:23 PM Flag
»
np ITA. It gets tiring explaining everything to 50 people a week. Just let her know you are thinking of her and maybe offer to babysit or cook dinner etc. - something practical that will actually help [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:26 PM Flag
»
she probably is having a hard time keeping it together herself. I know I havce gotten angry at DH when he asks how I'm doing when I am obviously upset. I think a card would be nice but give her space. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:21 PM Flag
»
thanks for the advice... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:22 PM Flag
[ - ] Just starting to wean and my period came back with a vengeance. I feel like HELL. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:13 PM Flag
»
take a hot bath with epsom salts. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:14 PM Flag
»
Take a bath when she's having her period? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:16 PM Flag
»
what's wrong with that? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:21 PM Flag
»
Seems messy. But to each her own. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:22 PM Flag
»
guess it depends on how heavy the flo is. I've never had an issue though [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:24 PM Flag
[ - ] Dh is so unsocial. We went to a neighborhood get together and he was so awkward. I felt bad for him. I sometimes wish I would have found someone more social. I like going to parties and mingling, and we don't do it too often because he is so shy. 31 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:11 PM Flag
»
you made your bed now lay down in it for the rest of your life. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:14 PM Flag
»
nice and kind response [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:14 PM Flag
»
thanks I call em' like I see um' [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:16 PM Flag
»
To be honest, I think this is a pretty minor price. I married a great father, loyal, and very loving. So yes like in any relationship no one is perfect, and I would take shyness over many other negative traits [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:19 PM Flag
»
I think we married the same man. He is so sweet and loving. He's a great father and husband, but he is the most awkward when we are in situations with other people. i feel like we aren't invited to things because of him. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:34 PM Flag
»
I know we are not invited to stuff because of him. Tons of neighborhood parties, and we barely go to any. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:42 PM Flag
»
I can relate. I'm shy, too, though, but would still like to have more of a social life. The highlights of my social life are kids' birthday parties and school functions. It's sad. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:16 PM Flag
»
does he mind if you go to things alone? This works for a friend of mine. Her DH hates any social interaction (I've never even met him and she is a really good friend) He stays home alone and she goes out when seh wants to. Works for them [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:20 PM Flag
»
Yes I go out a lot with my friends. Am a SAHM and part of many clubs and groups. I am very social, just not with him. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:21 PM Flag
»
well, as long as he is ok with it, don't worry about it. Some people prefer being alone. Does he seem sad that he is the way he is? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:23 PM Flag
»
Yes today he seemed sad. I felt bad for him at the party. But overall I just think he has trouble getting to know people and being generally friendly. If he knows someone he is comfortable. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:25 PM Flag
»
sounds like it's miller time... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:26 PM Flag
»
Yes maybe we should have a couple of drinks together before he goes to a party. That might help him. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:27 PM Flag
»
np another good tip for shy people is tell him to ask questions. People love to talk about themselves. All you have to do is ask something, They will talk and talk. He will feel less pressure and they will think he is a great conversationalist [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:31 PM Flag
»
What question would you suggest? Weather and what do you do I think are horrible ways to start a conversation. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:32 PM Flag
»
anything - where did you go to college? what movies do you like, if you could take 5 books to a desert island what would they be, where did you grow up, what did your parents do for work etc etc - anything to get someone talking [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:34 PM Flag
»
Yes kind of seems like weird questions though. I never start in like that. He seems to lack the ability to even make an approach. For me I don't even think about it. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:39 PM Flag
»
well those were just examples off the top of my head. I used to be really shy but once I figured this out, everything changed. When I feel uncomfortable or am somewhere I don;t know anyone, I just start asking questions - sometimes basic and sometimes weird random things. It really works though. Maybe he can have a list of questions in his head that will get him through tough situations. Tell him to try it. People really do love that most of the time [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:41 PM Flag
»
I will. This is a good idea. TY [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:43 PM Flag
»
no prob. ;-) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:44 PM Flag
»
can you help by introducing him, helping the convo along etc? Sometimes people just get so self concious but really want to get out and do things. Maybe ask him what kind of situations are the least stressful - like dinner with another couple maybe - less pressure than a party - and get him out as much as you can. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:28 PM Flag
»
Yes we have talked about it. He pretty much likes when we have dinners with his friends and then I get to know their wives. I am totally fine with that. But I have gf that I really like and feel like I can't become family friends with them because of his akwardness. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:30 PM Flag
»
This might sound weird but maybe he has some social anxiety disorder that can be helped through therapy. this has helped my dh. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:33 PM Flag
»
I am sure he probably does. We have had therapy together, and I have had it alone. I don't think dh could ever sign up for that. I think it would help him a lot, and he has tons of family issues, but it would not happen. How did your dh get started? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:36 PM Flag
»
OR are you sure he wants to change? My Dad was pretty shy but was happy being alone most of the time. He was a true introvert. If someone is just that way, he should learn to be ok with it. If it really bothers him though, he should find some sort of help [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:39 PM Flag
»
He knew he had issues he needed to address after we met. He now tells me that He was basically in a black hole in his mind for 13 years before I met him. There are books out there - I don't recall the names but you should look - it could help. There was a famous football player who was on Oprah once who talked about this and he might have written a book, can't remember but I think it can help guys to realize you don't have to be a wimp to have this problem. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:40 PM Flag
»
Maybe he won't care about a football player but if so, check out this link: http://socialanxietydisorder.about.com/od/celebritieswithsad/p/rickywilliams.htm [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:42 PM Flag
»
Me again - I realize this might not be his issue but it was really hard for dh to figure his out so if it can help anyone, thought I would share [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:44 PM Flag
»
Hey thanks. I don't think it really phases him really too much. Bugs me more, would like to be social with him. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:45 PM Flag
»
I totally understand! GL! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:48 PM Flag
»
Thanks, I appreciate the advice. Think it is something I need to accept though, don [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:50 PM Flag
[ - ] I think parents of dds generally over react to the boys in the class. 84 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
NY Schools 06.22.08, 06:11 PM Flag
»
I think parents who only have dd's might. Those of us with ds's as well are comfortable with the boys. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:16 PM Flag
»
Without question! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:16 PM Flag
»
How are they over reacting? I'm a parent of a dd - just curious. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:18 PM Flag
»
just reading here, it seems that there is a lot of worry about wild boys running rampant and disturbing the sweet little girls in early elementary. But in my experience, the boys leave the sweet girls alone, and the wild girls usually approach them to play. also, by the end of K or 1st grade, the girls become little terrors...bossy, teasing, and chasing the boys around. so its funny to me that all the parents come from preschool with all this fear of the wild boys. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:26 PM Flag
»
the girls become little terrors in pre K. Both of my ds's have had to deal with this in pre K (they are 5 and 7 now)- and it seems to be the alpha girls' mothers who are the ones complaining about the savage boys [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:34 PM Flag
»
my dd loves to play with the boys in her preschool class, and I'm so thankful for those boys, because the girls can be so cliquish already (and my dd is not boyish, or wild - she likes to play with the girls too) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:45 PM Flag
»
df told me a parent in her ds's class has commented on her ds'd size several times saying the girls might be afraid of him because he is tall. she was dumbfounded. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:18 PM Flag
»
dumb would be used to describe the author of this comment. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:20 PM Flag
»
LOL! what an idiot! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:21 PM Flag
»
That was the case in preschool and maybe K. Since first grade on, it's girl behavior (cliques, mean queen bees, teasing etc.) that has been the biggest problem. Boys settled down and girl insecurities are raging wild. And I have a girl, btw, so not biased boy mom. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:23 PM Flag
»
I would say the opposite. Many parents of "wilder" boys in my dd's class UNDER react to their horrible behavior. At the end of school party, on boy marched up to a little girl and pushed her right off her feet so that she fell on the ground. Everyone saw it. It was totally unprevoked. The mother just said "Excuse me, I don't think I like that very much!" and then sat him on her lap for the sing-along. Same mother plus others have some really out of control boys who created a lot of stress and chaos in the classroom this year. Yes it was hard on the teachers but they are paid/qualified to deal with it. My dd and a few others (including two boys) were really overwhelmed and stressed out by the environment in the class and the physical dangers (pushing, hitting, tackling) these boys created. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:24 PM Flag
»
What would you have preferred the mom do? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:28 PM Flag
»
np: it sounds like a preschool party. perhaps or would have liked that the mother take him out and tan his hide. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:29 PM Flag
»
OP: Are you seriously asking me this question? The kid should have been made to apologize to the girl and he should have been removed from the party for a while. He is 5 years old. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:41 PM Flag
»
^^^oops sorry, not OP. Meant OR. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:41 PM Flag
»
np: I disagree. End o year party, everyone looking on. my dc would have had a mega meltdown in front of everyone if I had pushed it that far. I would not have done it at that moment, but would have insisted on an apology later. who wants a huge disruption at that moment. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:44 PM Flag
»
I believe parents like you are the problem. you are letting yourself be controlled by your child....so afraid of a public meltdown that you allow him to physically hurt another child with no reprocussions. Who cares if there's a meltdown? The kid pushed another kid to the ground! That calls for a scolding, a time out and then an apology to the kid he pushed. In what school of parenting is this not a no-brainer? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:49 PM Flag
»
for crying out loud lady. A five year old pushed another five year old. Chill. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:54 PM Flag
»
Oh honey....you're raising one of those bullies aren't you? I just don't understand parents like you. I mean of course, it's no big deal that a 5 year old pushed another kid, but the fact that the mother didn't react at all IS a big deal. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:04 PM Flag
»
She did react. And don't call me honey, btw. She told him she didn't like the behavoir, she sat him on her lap to keep him away from the other children and she calmed him down. NONE of us know what she did or said to him after the preschool party. She didn't react AS YOU WOULD. Oh well, there is always more than one way to skin a cat. Any your bully comment, rude and out of line. Not to mention the fact that you have no idea what type of parent I am. Simply because I choose to find quiet times to teach life lessons and don't parents for the approval of other parents doesn't mean you are the better parent. As a matter of fact, with you condescending attitude and your accusations I suspect you have some room for growth. Have a nice night. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:08 PM Flag
»
Maybe you should take some of your hysterical, reactionary tone that you use with adults, shave about 10 points off the top and add it to the under-reacting you do with your kid? You could strike a nice balance. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:10 PM Flag
»
were you abused as a child? you sound a bit crazy, like someone beat you up once upon a time. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:19 PM Flag
»
LOL. On that happy note, I"m siging off. Thanks responder. You made me laugh [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:24 PM Flag
»
np: she did react. she took her dc, admonished him and held on to him so no further trouble would ensue. she likely punished him later. you are very judgemental, and can only see one way to parent. not everyone would agree with your methods. I for one, do not. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:10 PM Flag
»
Its a troll. You can tell by the posts that try and suck you in with personal attacks. Leave her or him be. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:13 PM Flag
»
NP, and I don't think she's a troll at all. I think she's right on. A 5 yo who pushes another child should be dealt with sternly, not sing-songingly coddled. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:14 PM Flag
»
all kinds of different parents out there...thankfully! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:30 PM Flag
»
Amen! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:31 PM Flag
»
wait until another five year old comes up and smacks your five year old; you'd be judging that kid's parents if they didn't attempt any discipline. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:18 PM Flag
»
this has happened to my dc. usually there has been a story behind it. usually the parent deals with it in some way, even if not in my presence. I am not so easily freaked out by occasionally aggressive behavior among preschoolers. it happens. everyone is mortified. the kids get in trouble and are dealt with one way or another. I do not call for the death penalty in most cases : ) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:48 PM Flag
»
ITA, if you're worried that we're judging your parenting, we already have, so you have nothing to lose and everything to gain by publicly displining your unruly child. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:58 PM Flag
»
who knows what happened? I certainly would deal with it, just not at that time in a very public way. I think it would have been selfish of me to make a big ruckus at the start of the end of year party sing a long, and my dc would have been humiliated in a way that was unnecessary. I would not be happy about it, I would punish him, but I would not do it in front of the entire class, his teachers etc just to make sure people like you think I am doing my job as a parent. I am aware that your type will hang me in your court of sanctimommy opinion, but it is the way I believe. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:59 PM Flag
»
But what you are talking about is removing the child and dealing with it privately, out in the hall. i'm all for that. Instant removal from the fun party, a scolding and short "time out" in the hallway, then a return to the party if the child calms down, explains what he did wrong (to show he understands) and apologizes to the other kid. This mother just sat him in the place of honor on Mommy's lap and went on with the party. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:09 PM Flag
»
Thats is one way to look at it, or she put him on her lap to calm him down and make sure he didn't push anyone else. Why do you feel such a need to dictate to the absoulute degree the right and only way to deal with this. That is really weird. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:15 PM Flag
»
NP: Oh please you people are ridiculous. A kid pushes another kid, you dicipline your friggin' kid. It's not rocket science. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:19 PM Flag
»
yes, but whether you do it publically in front of all the preschool sanctimommies looking for blood is another question. frankly, they would like to see the kid hung out to dry. good for the mom for protecting her kid from the mob [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.23.08, 03:14 AM Flag
»
I'm right there with you sister. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:11 PM Flag
»
Frankly, I think the kid should have been marched out immediately and had serious consequences to deal with for the next few weeks. The disruption already happened, right? A kid got knocked down. that's beyond disruptive. What kind of message does ignoring it send? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:53 PM Flag
»
OR of this story: I don't think consequences for several weeks mean anything to a 5 year old. I think you deal with it then and now. If you wait until after the party or if you continue the punishment for a day or more after it loses its meaning because they forget what they are being punished for. I think immediae reactions are the most effective...removal from the party, time out, option to apologize and re-join the party or straight home and into his room. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:56 PM Flag
»
If only it were this simple. One way to parent. All children react the same. If only... :) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:58 PM Flag
»
Yes you're right, but the one thing I think applied to all children is that the other poster's plan (to ignore the behavior because it might create a melt-down at the end-of-year party) is absurd and indicative of crappy parenting. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:00 PM Flag
»
I am that "other" poster and for the life of me I don't understand where you got ignore. I said rid the risk - make sure there is not risk to anyone and deal with the behavoir after the party. What is wrong with you? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:03 PM Flag
»
actually, I'm not the meltdown mom - but she was saying the same thing. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:05 PM Flag
»
I am the other poster who agrees with you. some of these women want blood...even if it is from a preschooler. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:08 PM Flag
»
I swear, and he didn't even push HER child. Geeze. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:17 PM Flag
»
What kind of parent would punish a preschool child for weeks, WEEKS for pushing another child? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:22 PM Flag
»
You would punish your kid for weeks for pushing? That's nuts. Kids push. It happens. Yes, he should have had a time out (which he basically did when mom put him in her lap), but h doesn't need the stockade for pushing. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:36 PM Flag
»
I'm sorry, but I gotta disagree with you - at 5, they are old enough to know that pushing is absolutely not allowed and should be dealt with seriously. And, yes, I think it is parents like you who lead the moms of dd's to criticize boys. Physical aggression is not OK by the age of 5 and if a dc does it, they need immediate consequences. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.23.08, 08:44 AM Flag
»
np. ITA, but the mom who said her dc would get a consequence that lasted WEEKS is nuts. I agree with the other poster who said remove dc from the room immediately for a time-out, then back into the room when he's ready to apologize to the other dc, then it's over with. And if the dc who pushed decides to have a meltdown because he's being discipline at the party, too bad. At least it happens outside of the room. If he can calm himself down he gets to go back inside and apologize, and if he can't he can go home. Never, ever put off immediate consequences because you're afraid the dc might make a scene. That's ridiculous and lazy. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.23.08, 03:31 PM Flag
»
Yes, I am seriously asking you that question. Personally, I think forced apologies are meaningless. They certainly are not heartfelt. And the child did not have to be removed from the party either. Some parents, rid the risk and deal with behavoir in private. Which is what I would have done and if my dc worked around to how to make her feel better and came up with the idea of apologizing (with a little prompting) so much the better than me standing over him saying, You apologize right now and him grunting one out. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:48 PM Flag
»
So basically, your kid is the king of the castle and there are no consequences for poor behavior and no punishments when his actions hurt others. You are so unskilled as a parent you can't bring him around to understanding what he has done and he is completely devoid of empathy (a condition you fostered and now cow-tow to). [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:51 PM Flag
»
you are insane. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:53 PM Flag
»
NP sorry, but you are the one who's insane if you think it's OK to let a child just get away with pushing another kid. That's the one thing I won't tolerate...hurting another child. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:54 PM Flag
»
np: you sound really crazy. I think some parents prefer to deal with this sort of thing in private. doesn't mean they aren't dealing with it. you need to chill. you sound like you might burst a blood vessel just theorizing about this here. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:03 PM Flag
»
Another np, but if you don't deal with this stuff in the moment, the opportunity to teach the child is really lost. Children this age react to immediate consequences, not a bedtime talk about expectations. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:08 PM Flag
»
You are wrong. At five, you have a great shot at finding teaching moments during the quiet times - the walk home, the ride in the car. As a matter of fact, those are your best shots. Children listen then. Think about. It will serve you well in the future. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:20 PM Flag
»
That is when you REMIND them. WHen you revisit the situation and talk about it. But if you don't react in the moment, the power to really teach them consequences is lost. I'm honestly surprised at this exchange - I agree with the original OR that this situation is a no-brainer [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:22 PM Flag
»
She did react in the moment. For some reason, some posters are choosing to ignore this. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:26 PM Flag
»
"Excuse me, I don't think I like that very much?" That's the way you think an aggressive child should be dealt with? No time out, no apology, no leaving? How is the kid going to know it's wrong? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:28 PM Flag
»
You don't know what the mom chose to do as punishment at home. I'm tired of this silly argument. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:30 PM Flag
»
I hate when parents use such wishy-washy language. It also sends the wrong message to kids. I think a direct statement is far better: "Alan, don't push." (And yes, I think the child should have been removed.) You also want to give your first attention to the child who was pushed and make sure she is OK (so kids don't push in order to get adult's attention). (np) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.23.08, 04:37 AM Flag
»
But the mom DIDN'T deal with it in private. She stayed at the party. Dealing with it in private means leaving the party. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:14 PM Flag
»
no it doesn't. mom delt with it by telling her child it was wrong and by removing him (putting him on her lap) to calm down and making sure he couldn't push again. No problem. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:29 PM Flag
»
apologies at the age aren't about being heartfelt sincerity, it's mostly about admitting that one did something wrong and acknowledging it. the problem really is that most parents of problem children are so used to that kind of behaviour that it seems almost the norm and they don't really notice it anymore they've been so worn down. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:24 PM Flag
»
I can't tell if you are saying you think forced apologies are meaningless or you should do them. But it doesn't really matter. I agree with other poster, nothing worse than an insincere apology. I could kill dh when he pulss that crap! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:34 PM Flag
»
teachers are failing to control their class. There were 15 boys and 9 girls in my ds's K class this year. No ongoing problems like that in class. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:30 PM Flag
»
That doesn't sound half bad. I know moms of boys who hit and push other kids but don't say a single thing or do anything. They laugh and say "oh, boys will be boys." These moms drive me NUTS. These boys will be screened out by TTs or even if accepted, expelled. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.23.08, 01:51 PM Flag
»
to the poster who thinks the boys are indeed wild, what grade are we talking about? sounds like preschoolers. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:28 PM Flag
»
pre-K....5 years old by the end of the year when the incident took place. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:53 PM Flag
»
as a mother of 2 boys, think of this constantly. i'm actually in favor of single-sex education for various subjects throughout the day. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:28 PM Flag
»
that's funny. always thought I was against ss ed. As mom of ds I am for it for boys in elemetary and girls in middle. No one in high [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:31 PM Flag
»
or: ita. i think of subjects that boys and girls absorb differently and think it's best to adapt to them. i'd love that. (and i remember looking back at elementary school and that i can see what they mean0 [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:34 PM Flag
»
I have a low-key boy and seems to me that there are lots of out-of-control boys and GIRLS. DS is pretty easy-going but from what he tells me, there are plenty of girls who just as pushy as some boys, but he seems to hold his own. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:32 PM Flag
»
I am happy for the wild boys signed mom of wild indian daughter who loves to play with the boys except the one who scratches her face [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:34 PM Flag
»
she probably gives him cause, no? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:39 PM Flag
»
np - sort of like "she was asking for it" by wearing such a short skirt? Surely you jest. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:57 PM Flag
»
Did anyone else notice how many times the boys were described as wild? They are not wild. They are normal. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:40 PM Flag
»
OP: I was inspired to post after reading another post about "wild, immature boys" scoring well on olsat, as opposed to their calm, mature, low scoring peers. kills me how these kids are characterized. feel the boys will grow up feeling they are bad from all this [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:42 PM Flag
»
hopefully their parents have a clue. And, never fear - the most judgemental mom I know (who gave birth to a quiet, mature, girl - had a terror for her second child. I will never forget the day when I got to say, "And you thougt it was your parenting didn't you" and she said Yes! (knowingly) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:45 PM Flag
»
That's no reason to be permissive about "normal" behaviors that cause other children to be hurt or pushed around. It might be normal but it's not OK and should not be treated like it's OK. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:43 PM Flag
»
i have dd's, and I don't think I overreact, but I do notice what is going on. i just think that in many cases, boys and men can dominate discussion, etc-not every teacher is aware of what is happening or what they are doing. my older dd did a demo sports class where she was the only girl-the boys were really active and the teacher did not do much to engage them or my dd. we switched. but to generalize over stuff is wrong-it is more about being aware of what is happening in class [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:53 PM Flag
»
Just wait - the girls become positively horrible by 2nd or 3rd grade. I agree that being hurt (by children of either sex!) should not be tolerated, but I think this is an equal opportunity situation. A girl in my son's preschool class (developmental school) repeatedly scratched him in the face leaving a scar. Older son (99+ has always loved school now doesn't want to go) being hit and pinched. He will not retaliate because he doesn't want to hurt his "friends", but is now being taunted as "weak" - nice. I observed a girl walk right up to him and punch him twice while mom chatted. Girl said "you can't hit be back because I'm a GIRL!" [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.23.08, 04:48 AM Flag
»
I think some do, most do not. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.23.08, 05:18 AM Flag
»
Mother of an only DD and I am much more concerned about mean girl behavior than how the boys behave. The girls can be much more devastating to each other, and their behavior can be more difficult for teachers to detect and manage. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.23.08, 01:12 PM Flag
[ - ] JEWISH MOMS-I am Catholic and about to have a baby naming for my daughter who is to be named after her great grandfather Herbert- What will the Hebrew name be? I am scared that I wont like it-Can we pick it out as long as it starts withan H? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:10 PM Flag
»
Im confused, if you aren't Jewish why a baby naming? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:11 PM Flag
»
You get to pick the name and can pick whatever you like - doesn't have to start with an H. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:16 PM Flag
»
exactly (from another Catholci married to a Jew) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:18 PM Flag
»
you pick the name. what is the english name. or, what was herbert's hebrew name? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:17 PM Flag
»
yes, you pick it out. go online and search for hebrew baby names to give you some ideas. i like hannah. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:25 PM Flag
»
i was in same situation--chai (there are different spellings for this) means life and that was the name we picked [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 08.22.09, 06:59 PM Flag
»
of course you can pick what you like! we are interfaith (i'm jewish) and had amazing naming ceremony for our 3 kids. our rabbi was very progressive and open minded. mazel tov! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 08.22.09, 07:17 PM Flag
[ - ] Girlfriend just diagnosed with stage 1A Ovarian cancer. Just had a hysterectomy and will have some chemo. Seems very survivable? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:10 PM Flag
»
Why did she have a hysterectomy? Don't they usually leave the uterus for Ovarian cancer? Finding cancer in an early staged (Stage 1 is early) is a good sign. Ovarian is usually diagnosed much later on. She has a good chance of beating this! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:12 PM Flag
»
They took ovaries and uterus - I think that is standard. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:13 PM Flag
»
how did she discover it? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:18 PM Flag
»
This is shocking. She had had fertility treatments and asked for the screening for years (Dr. is affiliated w/ major major med. institute). her Dr. fought her on it - said she was low risk despite the treatments - finally she insisted and the results were off the charts. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:28 PM Flag
[ - ] anyone have this sit: dc #1 was early at EVERYTHING - sleeping thru, getting teeth, rolling, sitting, crawling, walking, talking, etc. DC#2, however, is 6 mo, and is at the lower end of the "normal" range. He's just a laid back contented kid. but it's making me neurotic - i constantly worry he's delayed or whatnot. i was nevr like this w/ #1... 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:07 PM Flag
»
Sort of. #1 did seem to do things earlier. I looked at it as more time to enjoy the wonderful babyhood of #2. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:08 PM Flag
»
two completely different personalities. why worry? one is laid back the other very forward thinking. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:19 PM Flag
[ - ] dh is going to likely accept a great job in philly, we've started looking at places on the "main line" area, lived in nyc for 15 years, so freaking out a bit, but i can work from home, our kids are young, we know a few people, feel a pull to the space, but so worried we'll hate it, and miss nyc even though we complain about everything here. anyone btdt? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:07 PM Flag
»
The schools and housing on the main line of Philadelphia are wonderful. Will dh be working downtown or in a suburb? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:09 PM Flag
»
op: he'll be in center city, but we decided this was our chance to try suburban living. that is how i grew up, so i have some concept of it, but can't get past the fact that eventhough i never thought myself a nyc'r for life, i am freaked that maybe i am. Friends we know who live there say they feel like they have the best of both worlds, the commute nowhere near at westchester to manhattan, but they can come into the city easily, and the schools are excellent without paying crazy prices? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:16 PM Flag
»
very true..and while the world ahs chaged since I grew up in Philadelphia, it is a much less "showy" keep up with the JOnes/latest trends kind of place (versus NY and its suburbs) But everyone will ask you where you went to school....meaning high school! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:20 PM Flag
»
op: it's so strange to think, can we be happy outside nyc... never thought that would be my concern, but with two kids, school to think about, and maybe this is temporary issue, but we've come to hate all the lugging back and forth to the playground, and the rainy day inside an smal apt, but will philly suburbs feel so far away? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:26 PM Flag
»
if you hate it, move back to NYC and have dh commute [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:22 PM Flag
»
You are more likely to enjoy Philadelphia if you actually live in Center City rather than out on the mainline, imo. Fitler Square, Queen Village are great for families and he can walk to the business district from there. There are many urban babies in Philly-we love it here and use our car perhaps once a month. Also: you can get to NYC from Philly! check out Phillyblog for neighborhood chatter. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.23.08, 04:52 AM Flag
[ - ] think of me as your naive little sister....talk to me about waxing....can I wax my underarms? so tired of trying to keep them up. does the hair grow back slower after waxing? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:06 PM Flag
»
get botox [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:07 PM Flag
»
that's for excessive sweating [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:08 PM Flag
»
i have never heard of botox for underarm hair [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:08 PM Flag
»
i am so tempted to get mine waxed too but i am afraid to emb arass myself when screaming like a baby bc of the pain [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:09 PM Flag
»
lol! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:10 PM Flag
»
waxing is great. i go to the J Sisters regularly to have a full bikini wax. if you have a really hairy pit I would suggest laser hair removal. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:12 PM Flag
»
Its gotta get pretty long to be waxed - def. not a summer option [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:11 PM Flag
[ - ] what is the most scandalous tidbit about you - eve ub moms have a past! 36 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
Newborn 06.22.08, 06:06 PM Flag
»
I had affairs with married men. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:13 PM Flag
»
i got caught smoking pot in a park in high school [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:15 PM Flag
»
i took a girl to prom [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:16 PM Flag
»
Used to sleep around, but that's not terribly scandalous. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:16 PM Flag
»
until right before i turned 22 i had never even kissed a guy, let alone had a bf or sex [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:18 PM Flag
»
Ooooh, that IS scandalous! I'm so scandalized for you! I hope it was worth the wait? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:22 PM Flag
»
haha i know it isnt scandalous, it is just - depressing and i dont share it with people! i honestly started researchign asexuals and wondering if i was one! let me tell you, meeting me in ny isnt easy! funny thing though is that i wound up dating, kissing and sleeping with a guy who i had known my entire life - lived next door to me! and he is now dh [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:24 PM Flag
»
wow, what a story. I was a late bloomer too. I think my first big kiss was at 17, and slept with someone at 19. You're not alone [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:48 PM Flag
»
I used to be a lesbian [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:22 PM Flag
»
Why aren't you anymore? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:29 PM Flag
»
Anne? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:48 PM Flag
»
i gave a child up for adoption at 15 [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:25 PM Flag
»
Do you know what happened to the baby? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:27 PM Flag
»
i know that an older couple with three grown children adopted her, but that is it [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:29 PM Flag
»
Will she be allowed to contact you if she wants to? [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:31 PM Flag
»
at this point i dont think it will happen, i try not to think about it, she is grown by now [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:32 PM Flag
»
I know that you don't want to think about it, but it is important to be aware that if you went through an adoption agency, they won't give her information unless there is a note saying it is ok. Most people don't realize this. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:51 PM Flag
»
i said it waqs ok back then, but by now she is in her twenties, maybe even married with her own dc now [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:55 PM Flag
»
i have a nipple piercing [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:25 PM Flag
»
I had a threesome in college with two guys [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:26 PM Flag
»
me too. It wasn't as good as I wanted it to be. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:28 PM Flag
»
^^^^The two guys begged me to do it. They were roommates. Why are guys so into having a threesome with each other? Kind of weird to me. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:29 PM Flag
»
It means they are secretly attracted to each other and don't want to admit it, so they drag in a girl so they can pretend they aren't gay [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 12.04.08, 05:32 PM Flag
»
I've slept with over 50 people, had a threesome with two guys, and was a huge pot smoker in college. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:27 PM Flag
»
I have a sex tape from hs and I recently watched it [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:30 PM Flag
»
[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:31 PM Flag
»
it was really good, dh doesn't know about it and sometimes i am tempted to show him, but i dont know - it will other turn him on or freak him out bc it isnt him in the video, it is me and a girl and me and a guy [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:34 PM Flag
»
I've slept with 16 men and 23 women [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:31 PM Flag
»
I dream about sleeping with women. I think they would do a better job of going down on me then a man would. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:33 PM Flag
»
yeah, i sometimes want to talk to dh about inviting a woman into bed with us, but then i get back to reality [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:35 PM Flag
»
My husband acts like he would love that, but he wouldn't know what to do with himself. I would love it, but am too unhappy with my body after having two children to show anyone besides my husband. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:37 PM Flag
»
i just miss having a woman, and i know my dh would freak [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:42 PM Flag
»
I slept in around in college and grad school and cheated on all my boyfriends during the same time period. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:45 PM Flag
»
I streaked at a hs football game [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:47 PM Flag
»
i smoed pot every morning and night in college [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 07:27 PM Flag
»
I took LSD and went to work next day : ) That was interesting... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 12.04.08, 06:19 PM Flag
[ - ] I don't know what to do. 4.5yo is driving me crazy. She comes into our room in the middle of the night, will only go back to her room if someone goes and stays with her, and she talks for a long time, kicks all night, ruining our sleep which we desperately need. It makes both of us irritable and puts us in bad moods for the entire next day -- dh can't wait to go to work and I dread his leaving. During the day she'll do things she knows she's not supposed to do, she doesn't do things she knows she is supposed to do, and no amount of talking, bribes or threats seem to have any effect (beyond sending her into hysterics). I hate it that I don't even want to be around her b/c she's so difficult. It makes me very sad. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
Toddler 06.22.08, 06:06 PM Flag
»
have you read 123 Magic. You need to learn how to discipline your child. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:13 PM Flag
»
I've done the "I'm counting to three, and by the time I get to three, I expect you will have....". It's not particularly successful, and not at all for the middle of the night wakeups [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:18 PM Flag
»
123 Magic is a book and very different from this. You give warnings and explain what will the punishment will be but you need to read the book. I can not explain it all here. It has really helped us with our DD. It is so much better. Also I've heard "how to talk so your child will listen" or something like that is great. Also what about watching super Nanny? Kids getting out of bed seems to be huge problem for many parent. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:22 PM Flag
»
ok, well I'll look at it -- have already done the part about warnings, explaining the punishment etc but maybe it's worth continuing. Have already read "How to talk" which I thought was v good, but am having trouble applying it a the moment. Thanks. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:30 PM Flag
»
Mine is the same. He's a little older than that now, but still wants someone to lie down with him at night. Comes to our bed almost every night at 3-4am and then proceeds to kick us in the heads. Doesn't comply with most requests and bounces off the walls. It's very tough. I tend to give him lots of playtime with me when he is behaving, and not so much when he isn't. Reward charts have been mildly successful. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:15 PM Flag
»
How can you stand it? It's making me a bitch, and it's putting a real strain on my marriage. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:20 PM Flag
»
I've read tons of parenting books, took a class, done therapy. It's getting better, but can still be such a drain. Just realize that she just wants your attention whethee positive or negative. Try to catch ans praise the good behavior and not over emphasize the bad. She's also testing the boundaries to see what she can get away with. GL! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:22 PM Flag
»
thanks. You're right that she wants my attention. She has a little sister (who is sooo much easier to deal with but obviously commands a certain amount of attention simply by being only 1), and no doubt there's some jealousy at play here. But she already gets soooo much of my attention -- it's like, no matter how much attention I give her, she wants more more more. I'm exhausted. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:34 PM Flag
»
Ferber has a "shut the door" method for little wanderers. I won't post it here, but it's in his famous book. It will send her into hysterics, but it will stop the habit. Lack of sleep is only exacerbating the whole situation. Continued toleration is unacceptable. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:20 PM Flag
»
Will look into that. I agree, lack of sleep is totally exacerbating the situation. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:22 PM Flag
»
FWIW, Weissbluth suggests just quietly walking the child back to bed. He says you'll quickly go from 142 times to, say, only 4 times. But that would make me insane. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:27 PM Flag
»
yup, read Weissbluth, and tried that (also tried the sitting outside the door etc) but while I can (with a limited amount of patience) do that in the evening while I'm still up, there's no way I can do that at 3 in the morning. Will check Ferber. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:32 PM Flag
[ - ] I hate this new site! 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
 ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:05 PM Flag
»
Me too, I have barely used UB since they changed it. [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:07 PM Flag
»
me three.....I feel a huge loss in my life :-) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:07 PM Flag
»
seems like everyone has stopped since they changed it [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:07 PM Flag
»
where did they go? I miss them. these people seem a bit dimwhitted (I'm sure I'm spelling that wrong, on old UB some one would harass me) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:09 PM Flag
»
i think there might be some new hip site elsewhere [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:10 PM Flag
»
I will hear about it two years from now on GMA [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:10 PM Flag
»
there is. youbemom.com [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:11 PM Flag
»
same - this is probably my third time since the change and I only came on bc I really had to ask about 8 mo sleeping on tummy. but I no longer come on to UB just to chillax - this new site doesn't allow chatting - posts seem to go by too fast or something.... [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:11 PM Flag
»
go to youbemom.com Seriously. (rumor is, I'll be permanently banned for posting this, btw!) [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:13 PM Flag
»
omg - you're right. i just checked it out and it's like the old UB! [ Reply | More
]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:26 PM Flag
Refresh » New Post »
Select Category
close [X]

close [X]

Select a Category (only 1)

category
Stages
Regions