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06.22.08, 18:11 PM General Topics
31 replies
Dh is so unsocial. We went to a neighborhood get together and he was so awkward. I felt bad for him. I sometimes wish I would have found someone more social. I like going to parties and mingling, and we don't do it too often because he is so shy. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:11 PM Flag
 

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you made your bed now lay down in it for the rest of your life. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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nice and kind response [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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thanks I call em' like I see um' [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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To be honest, I think this is a pretty minor price. I married a great father, loyal, and very loving. So yes like in any relationship no one is perfect, and I would take shyness over many other negative traits [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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I think we married the same man. He is so sweet and loving. He's a great father and husband, but he is the most awkward when we are in situations with other people. i feel like we aren't invited to things because of him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:34 PM Flag
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I know we are not invited to stuff because of him. Tons of neighborhood parties, and we barely go to any. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:42 PM Flag
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I can relate. I'm shy, too, though, but would still like to have more of a social life. The highlights of my social life are kids' birthday parties and school functions. It's sad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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does he mind if you go to things alone? This works for a friend of mine. Her DH hates any social interaction (I've never even met him and she is a really good friend) He stays home alone and she goes out when seh wants to. Works for them [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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Yes I go out a lot with my friends. Am a SAHM and part of many clubs and groups. I am very social, just not with him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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well, as long as he is ok with it, don't worry about it. Some people prefer being alone. Does he seem sad that he is the way he is? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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Yes today he seemed sad. I felt bad for him at the party. But overall I just think he has trouble getting to know people and being generally friendly. If he knows someone he is comfortable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:25 PM Flag
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sounds like it's miller time... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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Yes maybe we should have a couple of drinks together before he goes to a party. That might help him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:27 PM Flag
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np another good tip for shy people is tell him to ask questions. People love to talk about themselves. All you have to do is ask something, They will talk and talk. He will feel less pressure and they will think he is a great conversationalist [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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What question would you suggest? Weather and what do you do I think are horrible ways to start a conversation. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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anything - where did you go to college? what movies do you like, if you could take 5 books to a desert island what would they be, where did you grow up, what did your parents do for work etc etc - anything to get someone talking [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:34 PM Flag
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Yes kind of seems like weird questions though. I never start in like that. He seems to lack the ability to even make an approach. For me I don't even think about it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:39 PM Flag
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well those were just examples off the top of my head. I used to be really shy but once I figured this out, everything changed. When I feel uncomfortable or am somewhere I don;t know anyone, I just start asking questions - sometimes basic and sometimes weird random things. It really works though. Maybe he can have a list of questions in his head that will get him through tough situations. Tell him to try it. People really do love that most of the time [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:41 PM Flag
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I will. This is a good idea. TY [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:43 PM Flag
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no prob. ;-) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:44 PM Flag
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can you help by introducing him, helping the convo along etc? Sometimes people just get so self concious but really want to get out and do things. Maybe ask him what kind of situations are the least stressful - like dinner with another couple maybe - less pressure than a party - and get him out as much as you can. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:28 PM Flag
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Yes we have talked about it. He pretty much likes when we have dinners with his friends and then I get to know their wives. I am totally fine with that. But I have gf that I really like and feel like I can't become family friends with them because of his akwardness. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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This might sound weird but maybe he has some social anxiety disorder that can be helped through therapy. this has helped my dh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:33 PM Flag
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I am sure he probably does. We have had therapy together, and I have had it alone. I don't think dh could ever sign up for that. I think it would help him a lot, and he has tons of family issues, but it would not happen. How did your dh get started? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:36 PM Flag
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OR are you sure he wants to change? My Dad was pretty shy but was happy being alone most of the time. He was a true introvert. If someone is just that way, he should learn to be ok with it. If it really bothers him though, he should find some sort of help [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:39 PM Flag
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He knew he had issues he needed to address after we met. He now tells me that He was basically in a black hole in his mind for 13 years before I met him. There are books out there - I don't recall the names but you should look - it could help. There was a famous football player who was on Oprah once who talked about this and he might have written a book, can't remember but I think it can help guys to realize you don't have to be a wimp to have this problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:40 PM Flag
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Maybe he won't care about a football player but if so, check out this link: http://socialanxietydisorder.about.com/od/celebritieswithsad/p/rickywilliams.htm [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:42 PM Flag
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Me again - I realize this might not be his issue but it was really hard for dh to figure his out so if it can help anyone, thought I would share [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:44 PM Flag
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Hey thanks. I don't think it really phases him really too much. Bugs me more, would like to be social with him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:45 PM Flag
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I totally understand! GL! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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Thanks, I appreciate the advice. Think it is something I need to accept though, don [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 06.22.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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