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06.22.08, 18:06 PM Toddler
12 replies
I don't know what to do. 4.5yo is driving me crazy. She comes into our room in the middle of the night, will only go back to her room if someone goes and stays with her, and she talks for a long time, kicks all night, ruining our sleep which we desperately need. It makes both of us irritable and puts us in bad moods for the entire next day -- dh can't wait to go to work and I dread his leaving. During the day she'll do things she knows she's not supposed to do, she doesn't do things she knows she is supposed to do, and no amount of talking, bribes or threats seem to have any effect (beyond sending her into hysterics). I hate it that I don't even want to be around her b/c she's so difficult. It makes me very sad. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
Toddler 06.22.08, 06:06 PM Flag
 

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have you read 123 Magic. You need to learn how to discipline your child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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I've done the "I'm counting to three, and by the time I get to three, I expect you will have....". It's not particularly successful, and not at all for the middle of the night wakeups [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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123 Magic is a book and very different from this. You give warnings and explain what will the punishment will be but you need to read the book. I can not explain it all here. It has really helped us with our DD. It is so much better. Also I've heard "how to talk so your child will listen" or something like that is great. Also what about watching super Nanny? Kids getting out of bed seems to be huge problem for many parent. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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ok, well I'll look at it -- have already done the part about warnings, explaining the punishment etc but maybe it's worth continuing. Have already read "How to talk" which I thought was v good, but am having trouble applying it a the moment. Thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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Mine is the same. He's a little older than that now, but still wants someone to lie down with him at night. Comes to our bed almost every night at 3-4am and then proceeds to kick us in the heads. Doesn't comply with most requests and bounces off the walls. It's very tough. I tend to give him lots of playtime with me when he is behaving, and not so much when he isn't. Reward charts have been mildly successful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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How can you stand it? It's making me a bitch, and it's putting a real strain on my marriage. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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I've read tons of parenting books, took a class, done therapy. It's getting better, but can still be such a drain. Just realize that she just wants your attention whethee positive or negative. Try to catch ans praise the good behavior and not over emphasize the bad. She's also testing the boundaries to see what she can get away with. GL! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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thanks. You're right that she wants my attention. She has a little sister (who is sooo much easier to deal with but obviously commands a certain amount of attention simply by being only 1), and no doubt there's some jealousy at play here. But she already gets soooo much of my attention -- it's like, no matter how much attention I give her, she wants more more more. I'm exhausted. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 06:34 PM Flag
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Ferber has a "shut the door" method for little wanderers. I won't post it here, but it's in his famous book. It will send her into hysterics, but it will stop the habit. Lack of sleep is only exacerbating the whole situation. Continued toleration is unacceptable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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Will look into that. I agree, lack of sleep is totally exacerbating the situation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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FWIW, Weissbluth suggests just quietly walking the child back to bed. He says you'll quickly go from 142 times to, say, only 4 times. But that would make me insane. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 06:27 PM Flag
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yup, read Weissbluth, and tried that (also tried the sitting outside the door etc) but while I can (with a limited amount of patience) do that in the evening while I'm still up, there's no way I can do that at 3 in the morning. Will check Ferber. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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