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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Just found out a friend of mine is starting a homeschool co-op. It's kind of a hippie thing (as opposed to the christian based homeschooling) with lots of outdoor time and more room for the kids to be "their creative selves." It all sounds neat but I truly can't say I think it will make that big of a difference in the long run. I can't decide if I'm cynical with too low expectations for my children's education or if I'm simply being realistic. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:16 PM Flag
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i think you should myob [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:20 PM Flag
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i'm not criticizing her. just trying to figure out the difference b/t someone who is idealistic enough to try it and someone like me who thinks "eh - sounds like a lot of work." how is posting about this being in someone else's business? i guess we're only allowed to post about NYC G&T schools and our dhs having affairs now. sorry - i'll try to stick to those topics from now on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:25 PM Flag
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where is she doing this? nyc or an outer borough? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:20 PM Flag
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she actually lives in SC. that's why i made the distinction b/t her kind and the christian kind. lots of homeschoolers down south do so b/c they don't like the nonchristian influences of public schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:22 PM Flag
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sorry -- just being nosy. i know of someone doing it here in nyc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:24 PM Flag
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op: i'll take your response over the others. this place has become so completely not fun. i was really just trying to start a discussion. but i'm supposed to mind my own business. i'll come back when dh starts cheating on me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:26 PM Flag
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wha?? are you thinking about doing it with your kids? if not, mind your own beeswax [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:22 PM Flag
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no - i was simply using my friend as an example. i am an educator who thinks all kinds of education are interesting to talk about. but i'm just wondering if i'm becoming more cynical in my old age. is the new rule on UB that you are not allowed to post about anything anymore! you people are impossible. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:23 PM Flag
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I understand what you were asking now. Your post originally (like many on UB lately) came off as judgmental and nosy - too many posts starting with "my friend, my sister, my mil, my neighbor" etc... I'm way to lazy to homeschool my own kids. While I think it works great for some families it wouldn't work well for us at all. If that means I have low expectations for them so be it! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:29 PM Flag
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op: i guess i'm also just wondering "how is this going to help these kids in the long run?" so many educational philosophies seem really neat and more fun and more creative but does that make them intrinsically better? do they produce more educated and well rounded kids? or do they only make parents feel better? i'm just wondering. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:34 PM Flag
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I think if you read the post below about boys in school, those types of issues are what drive parents into homeschooling. There are also a handful who are overly controlling nutcases. I [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:39 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone read the article on CNN.com about raising boys v. raising girls? I generally don't look to CNN or Parenting as being superbly academic in their research, however I do think it's worth exploring the idea that little boys' brains develop differently and that their ability to sit still/learning style is not necessarily conducive to the now accelerated curriculum of kindergarten and pre-k that have de-emphasized play and focus more on traditional learning. Also interesting in light of the G&T gender ratios. My ds is not yet school-aged and is quite verbal, follows directions well, etc. for his age, but I am concerned about whether the predominant school models will serve him well. (I also do not plan on relying solely on schools for my children's education. Much rests with the experiences I as a parent provide.) Even so, I am wondering what you guys (moms of both girls and boys) think of this. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:13 PM Flag
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I definitely agree that the educational setup favors girls, especially in the early grades. I have 2 boys and worry a great deal about this! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:16 PM Flag
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How old are they? Are they in school yet? As I said, mine is very verbal and follows directions well, but he also cannot sit still and is very active. Sometimes "active" becomes seen as "wild" or "badly behaved." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:17 PM Flag
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One is 5 and will be starting public K in the fall. He is definitely not going to sit still like most of the girls will. Preschool was okay because it was more play based and his teacher happened to have 4 boys of her own, but I am terrified about next year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:19 PM Flag
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This is why I am a die hard believer in progressive education. Check out Calhoun.org and read the blogs by h eadmaster Steve Nelson. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:29 PM Flag
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Thank you. I will. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:33 PM Flag
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it's precisely why people choose to home school. although i could never do it myself. i haven't the patience. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:34 PM Flag
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OP: Oh please, you and me both. My kid would want a divorce! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:36 PM Flag
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first OR, same here, I would be suicidal and my kid would need therapy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:39 PM Flag
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lol. other op here. you and me both. my dd has developmental issues. yours are boys. in essence both of us worry that the world will tell them they are dumb, which is true in neither case. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:42 PM Flag
[ - ] Dh is constantly worrying about money, even though we're comfortable. We both work ft but I make about 1/8th his salary, and because of his constant worrying I feel guilty when I spend OUR money (he always reiterates it is our money) on things for myself... how can we work through this? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:08 PM Flag
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Did he grow up without much? Do you guys live within your means? Do you two have different spending styles? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:11 PM Flag
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Part of it depends on what you mean by spending money on things for yourself, I guess. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:12 PM Flag
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maybe ask him, 'what can we do so that you don't worry about $$ so much' [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:13 PM Flag
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do you have a budget? we have a budget with money allotted for impulse purchases (it's not that much-- couple hundred a pay period) and it has alleviated anxiety for both of us about what we're spending money on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:24 PM Flag
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Delve very deeply into your actual financial situation. Use Quicken and document exactly how much you guys are spending and saving, what the actual risks to your financial situation are. What is the worst case scenario? Just denying his anxieties won't work, but exploring them and quantifying them, might. Also, you might learn something too. Maybe he's looking at the long term, and has some justifiable concerns. Its not always about today's cash flow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:25 PM Flag
[ - ] I know I'm being impossible. I was just telling DH that we needed to pick and choose bday parties our kids attend b/c the number they're being invited to is getting overwhelming (3 kids in 3 different schools plus church and neighborhood friends.) Then today dd gets invited to a party that two classmates are holding at the same time and I think "I have to bring two presents to one party?" Not sure what my prob is. Well - I'm pregnant and hormonal so I'm sure that's part of it. But my question is: is it smart or cheap to consolidate parties with a friend? Both kids are in the same class. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:04 PM Flag
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for me personally i think it's smart, especially for busy families like ours [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:05 PM Flag
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Well it solves your first issue of having too many parties to go to. As for 2 gifts, you'd have to buy each a gift if they had separate parties. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:06 PM Flag
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you're completely right. i'm not sure what the problem is. maybe jealousy? we just hosted a party at this very place and i shelled out 100% of the $. i think i'm prob. just wishing it had occurred to me to share a party with the little girl in dd's class who has the same bday. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:07 PM Flag
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you sound awful [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:11 PM Flag
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i'm being honest about my emotions. after posting, i really thought about it and realized that maybe i'm just feeling that i wish i'd thought of it. if that makes me awful than fine but i'd hate to live in your narrow world. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:12 PM Flag
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it's fine to be honest, but taking the time to post that your first reaction to this neat solution to the problem of the same guest list for parties for close birthdays (which is also a solution to your previous complaint to your husband) is one of feeling cheated by having to buy a gift for two kids while only getting one party in return. not sure how remarking on it means i live in a narrow world . . . [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:15 PM Flag
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there's a huge difference b/t remarking on it can calling someone awful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:17 PM Flag
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i didn't say op WAS awful -- i said she SOUNDED awful. which she does. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:18 PM Flag
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i've got news for you - you sound worse than OP [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:28 PM Flag
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np: as you know parties are expensive. some parents could not do it otherwise [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:11 PM Flag
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lol - that is so not the case with these families. i truly just think they are smarter than i am. that's all. i shouldn't have posted. now i'm considered awful and insensitive to financial needs. i really am neither. good thing this is anonymous. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:13 PM Flag
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i think you are thinking too much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:17 PM Flag
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it's not necessarily a problem of finances. if the kids are in the same class it's likely that nearly all of the invitees for both parties would be the same, and if their birthdays are in the same week or so, they're looking at the same weekend for their parties. with all the scheduling difficulties that go hand in hand with kids' birthday parties, this may have been the only way to avoid a guest war (making people choose between the two kids for which party to attend) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:18 PM Flag
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I think everyone does this to some extent. It's impossible to go to every party. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:06 PM Flag
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It's smart. A 2-fer for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:09 PM Flag
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coupl e of comments. first of all, i think it's a good idea to consolidate liek that. i wish it was more popular so people wouldn't feel like the poor relations if they did things like hand-me-down clothing, joining up to have parties, etc. But secondly, you never know what the story was. maybe they both planned parties on the same day and this was the only way to minimize the conflict. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:21 PM Flag
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You will have 4 kids - why? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 03:15 PM Flag
[ - ] I have a lot of respect for Obama for refusing to use federal campaign money. 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:01 PM Flag
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its much better to be bribed by special interests, like he promised he would not do. This is just the first of many promises we can expect him to break whenever its convenient. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:05 PM Flag
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how is he being bribed my special interests? I haven't seen that happening, and I expect him to keep as many of his promises as he can. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:06 PM Flag
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Including the promise to use federal funding? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:08 PM Flag
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federal funding is such a crock of &$%# that I don't blame him for staying away from it. Besides, he clearly doesn't need to since he has a grassroots movement getting $5/$10/$20 from many thousands of people [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:09 PM Flag
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except he promised he would do it, because he wanted to change the way we do politics in this country. Oops never mind, I don't want to change it after all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:13 PM Flag
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If you don't see the way he has funded his campaign as a change from business as usual then you are beyond hope. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 09:15 AM Flag
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He has no choice. McCain can't raise any money but RNC will do what they can to go after Obama and he needs to fight back. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:07 PM Flag
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Do you even read the papers? Obama is the one who has pledged to not take lobbyist money. I disagree with the original post -- I'd rather see presidential elections publicly financed NOT fund raised/privately funded -- but your post is just dumb. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:12 PM Flag
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If elections could be solely publicly financed it would be one thing, but you still have the 525s and private party financing which totally screws up the original purpose of the campaign financing reform. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:15 PM Flag
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ITA. Apparently he'll say anything to win the primary but then change his views for the general election. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:16 PM Flag
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You can't call Obama a flip flopper when he's up against McCain! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:18 PM Flag
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lol, isn't that the truth? Imagine those clips, will be fun to watch. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:21 PM Flag
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I'm not comparing him to McCain. I'm comparing him to himself a few months ago. I'm a die-hard Democrat and would never vote for McCain. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:34 PM Flag
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np: it's not that simple. he's bending the rules. there was a whole article recently about how he's taking donations from lawyers who work for the lobbyists but it's not officially in the lobbyist name. i'm not saying i expect him to research every donation. but i am saying he's not completely in the clear on this issue. (i was going to say lily white on the issue, but then rethought that) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:17 PM Flag
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You are exactly right. The lobbying groups organize pools of individual donors, rather than giving it all at once from their own coffers. But the impact and the obvious corruption is exactly the same, and Obama will do whatever suits him whenever he feels like it. He cannot be trusted. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:21 PM Flag
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i don't think the "suits him" and can't be trusted comments are really fair. but i don't think he's as clean as he says he is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:22 PM Flag
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we should have stuck with Hillary. At least her mercenary qualities were a known quantity. This guy really worries me. He's slicker than a dozen eels fucking in a bucket of snot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:27 PM Flag
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I love it and ITTTTA! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:31 PM Flag
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np: such a gross analogy. I love it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:32 PM Flag
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Actually, Hillary's debt is one of the reasons he opted out of public financing. There is an expectation from Clinton supporters that he will help pay down her $20 million+ in campaign debt. There's no limit to the amount of money he can raise (unlike McCain), which was evident during the primary. I think he is attempting to raise as much money as he can early in order to run his campaign and pay down her debt. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 09:36 AM Flag
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Not only Hillary's debt, but also jumpstart DNC fundraising which has been sorely lacking, and funds for the convention. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 09:47 AM Flag
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OMG!!! Google McCain Feingold [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:18 PM Flag
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What does that have to do with this post? -or (I know what McCain Feingold is.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 08:07 AM Flag
[ - ] Just found out one of my units in my apartment building has bed bugs. Movers came to take out the complete contents of the apartment so everything could be fumigated. This is two floors below me. Should I be worried about them spreading to my apartment? I have a dog and am worried he might track them in. TIA! 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.19.08, 02:01 PM Flag
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op: oops ... one of "the" units (not "my") [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:02 PM Flag
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what does a dog have to do with bed bugs? The bed bugs don't need a dog to spread. All they have to do is crawl through the walls. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:13 PM Flag
[ - ] gennder balance seems way off for next year's K class. what about the current K class? I thought it was more balanced. anyone know? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.19.08, 01:57 PM Flag
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which school? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:57 PM Flag
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oops! anderson...sorry! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:58 PM Flag
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UB NY Schools is now the Anderson default, ladies. look out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:00 PM Flag
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just wondering if last year with an onsite was different [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:02 PM Flag
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nope, more girls last year too, first year that is was not equal, even with onsite DOE had the final say [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:06 PM Flag
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what do you mean? anderson would pick a class and someone at the doe would look over the list and approve it or not? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 05:32 PM Flag
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Who cares? Why does it matter? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:12 PM Flag
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we are wondering whether to try for private next year or public and private. want to know if too many girls is here to stay. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 03:22 PM Flag
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as long as admission is test based only, there will be more girls. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 05:16 PM Flag
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Not always, look at Stuyvesant. But I suppose it holds true when testing 4 yos. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 05:19 PM Flag
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so my ds with a near perfect score is way ahead of the pack then? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 05:27 PM Flag
[ - ] I want to get a yellow lab puppy....what's the best place to get one. The shelter we went to did not have a puppy dc liked (tried every trick in the world but dc is set on what his dog should be like). I want to avoid a heartless breeder/petshop.... 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:54 PM Flag
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try petfinder.org and see if you can find what you are looking for at shelter a little farther away. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:56 PM Flag
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Keep looking for a shelter dog - try calling shelters to see what dogs they have, and remember that the best dog is the one who will love you and dc - not the best looking one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:56 PM Flag
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Petfinders.com - it's where we found our Black Lab/Rotti mix 6 years ago. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:57 PM Flag
[ - ] If my family runs a foundation that contributes substantially to city projects (parks and recreation, children's charities, wnyc, museums, hospitals, etc), should I list the foundation on school applications under mother's interests or another section? Will that be helpful or make no difference? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:53 PM Flag
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List it - esp. if you are on the Board or have another official position. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:58 PM Flag
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I am not on board which is still run by the older generation (I am eldest grandchild), but have played a role in the fund from time to time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:59 PM Flag
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It seems like someone who's family has a foundation should know that it would make a difference. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:58 PM Flag
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I've never applied for schools so how should I know it would make a difference? It doesn't make any difference to me - its just something my great-grandfather set up years before I was born. I don't profit from it in any way [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:59 PM Flag
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np: but do you play an active part in it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:01 PM Flag
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see above - I'm not on the board but I have participated in outreach, mostly in central america though [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:02 PM Flag
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I thought that it suggested you would be more sophisticated about how things work. Yes, it will help you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 04:03 PM Flag
[ - ] Friend of mine has been having an affair with a married man for 1 1/2 years now. The whole time there keep being deadlines where he's supposed to decide whether or not he's going to leave his wife. Of course the deadlines keep getting pushed back. My belief is that he has no intention of leaving his wife. A few weeks ago he told her that he told his wife he wants a divorce and has met someone else and that he's moving in with her. Now he tells her that his wife told him that she won't let him see his kids if he leaves for this "other woman" (i.e. my friend). Does this all sound like a load of horsesh*t? I think he is BS-ing to keep stringing my friend along. 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:53 PM Flag
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I think you know the answer to your question, don't you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:55 PM Flag
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OP: Yeah, but I've been with DH since I was 21 yo and sometimes think I might have a narrow view of what other men are like, you know? I guess I wanted confirmation that my instincts are correct. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:04 PM Flag
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she deserves what she's getting [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:56 PM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:02 PM Flag
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Affairs: the fucking you get is NEVER worth the fucking you get [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:03 PM Flag
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OP: I think what she is doing is totally wrong, but I don't think that absolves him of the wrong against her if that makes sense. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:05 PM Flag
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He is scumbagging two people, whereas she is only scumbagging the wife. Still she's beneath contempt. Its sort of splitting hairs. Scum is scum. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:07 PM Flag
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OP: Yes, but she is believing his very well spun lies so she does not think that either of them are wrong in relation to the wife. He obviously KNOWS that they are. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:09 PM Flag
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np: starting a relationship with lying is a good indicator that things will remain that way. she'll learn [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:11 PM Flag
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no, if someone is married, he's married. You say, "call me when the papers are signed." That's just a general rule of existence, and everyone knows it, including your friend. She may have motivations you are not aware of, like wanting to pine for someone without actually having to be in a real relationship - i.e. dealing with daily life with that person. Affairs are more fun. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:12 PM Flag
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OP: She has motivations like being almost 40 yo, with low self esteem that makes her extremely vulnerable to believing the "you are the love of my life" type of lies. She definitely does not WANT it to be an affair. Almost no one knows - the fact that I know is due to odd circumstances/timing. It's no excuse though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:16 PM Flag
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np: yikes! it sounds like she has a lot to learn [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:19 PM Flag
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does she have/want kids? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:44 PM Flag
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i'd say maybe. she doesn't NOT want kids, but if it didn't happen, i think she'd be okay with that. about 5 years ago she dated someone older who did not want more children and she was fine with it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:59 PM Flag
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then she is deluding herself. she should be able to have some objectivity. and doctor phil would tell her that the guy should not start something new until he finishes with the old. so even if he really does want to be with her, she should tell him that she's leaving him until he finishes his relationship with his wife and if/when he does they may continue theirs. leave him now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:47 PM Flag
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OP: i think she tried that about 9 months in and they stopeed seeing eachother for a month or so, but he weasled his way back in. she IS deluding herself, i just wanted confirmation of that! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:52 PM Flag
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Dont forget her disregard for the children in the marriage... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:12 PM Flag
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if there was a textbook regarding affairs, this is a classic symptom [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:00 PM Flag
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The stringing along or the actual lies about what is going on between him and wife or both? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:06 PM Flag
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all of the above [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:07 PM Flag
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Your friend sucks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:06 PM Flag
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OP: She has issues, first and foremost which is that she believed him when he told her his marriage was over. AFAIC, if he's still living at home, it is not over enough to date, but she believed him when he told her his wife knew that the marriage was over. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:07 PM Flag
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np: they all do [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:09 PM Flag
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If hes still legally married but living on his own and they already have lawyers etc, then maybe they could date. Sometimes 'its over' long before they admit its over, so a judge's signature isnt everything. But he SHOULDNT be living with his wife and dating someone else.. thats pathetic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:14 PM Flag
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OP: Yes. I would never believe a man who said that his marriage was "over" and his wife "knew" if they were still living together. I think this is the oldest line out there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:21 PM Flag
[ - ] So, according to UB Anderson, NEST, and PS9 moms are a bunch of nutties. How about LL moms? For being the best D2 G&T school it is rather quiet in UB land. 20 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.19.08, 01:46 PM Flag
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ps9 and LL have very nice families. I know many of them personally. the anderson moms are the most aggressive women on the planet. don't know about nest [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:58 PM Flag
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I don't know too many Anderson moms... but they seem competitive and mean to one another, from what I've seen and heard. I hope for better for next year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:59 PM Flag
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this is very true. current K parent, and they are like pirrhanas. sometimes I want to pull out dc, but then what? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:02 PM Flag
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Are you the person who was having a hard time at the beginning of the year w/all the people discussing scores? It sounded awful and made me happy that DC didn't qualify. Our zoned public is pretty mellow. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:07 PM Flag
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You have to deal. We are at PS9 and there are some doozies too. Moms who have nothing going on so live through their dc and it shows. Just ignore, as long as dc is happy who cares. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:08 PM Flag
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There will be parents like this anywhere. They just may not be focused on academics, it might be sports, music, etc. It's tough, but you'll find some like-minded people, too, just might take more effort. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:10 PM Flag
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another ps9 mom. have not seen this at all. its part of what I love about the school. what grade is your dc? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:51 PM Flag
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I agree. we have been at the school for years and think the community is just great. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 04:30 PM Flag
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I know lots of Anderson moms and they're great - nice. low-key, fun people. But I would say that of moms I know in lots of schools (I'm lucky to know/be friends with nice people.) I've also met (but don't actually KNOW) moms at lots of schools, especially PS 9 where my dd is that are nuts, defensive, bitter people. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 05:44 AM Flag
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you are an anderson mom if ever there was one. unheard of that a ps9 mom would be speaking this way...singing praises to the anderson crazies, while dissing her own peer parents. not believable in the least. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:55 PM Flag
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np - You're right. Most UB PS 9 posters are very very bitter and angry toward Anderson parents. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 01:58 PM Flag
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geez. wonder why? I mean this is a totally fabricated post to counter what someone said about anderson. no one I know is bitter and angry. but these snipes and finger pointing attacks on UB are hard to tolerate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 07:59 PM Flag
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I know only nice families at Anderson, LL & PS 9. Don't know anyone at NEST. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 05:10 PM Flag
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LL admission criteria - 90 for sibs. Large school. People usually rank Anderson and NEST as top 2 for people who are interested in LL. PS9 only offered one class this year and after sibs, very few spots for non-sibs. So it was harder to get into PS9 as a non sib. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:29 AM Flag
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LL has only 2 classes per grade. Hardly a large school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:41 AM Flag
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Hmm.. then I wonder why LL doesn't attract as many families with top scores. I think UES families are more likely to send dcs to privates. I think PS9 G&t is more in demand than LL. I'm a private mom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:51 AM Flag
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Where do you get this info from? LL has always been the top district G&T in D2. Many ranked it over NEST or Anderson. According to insideschools they used to have alomst 400 applications for 56 seats every year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:53 AM Flag
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Doesn't attract families with Top scores? LL is filled with 99 and 98s and a couple of lucky 97s. I'm not sure what you mean by "top"? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 02:01 PM Flag
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OMG, some 99s will have to associate children who merely got a 97. The Horror. The Horror. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 02:07 PM Flag
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I think the point is, that it was harder to get into 9 because there were much fewer spots than at LL, not because it is a better school. I'm sure if LL only had one class it would have only taken 99s as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 02:10 PM Flag
[ - ] I am trying to potty train a very resistant 2.8 yr old ds. He screams whenever we try to do it...I have not pushed it at all, and we have a new baby which i am assuming is influencing his readiness to try things. My MIL is constantly asking me how it's going, like she knows all the answers (i raised 3 kids, they were all potty trained before age 3 blah blah). I am trying to be relaxed about it, but he is SO resistant. Any btdt, or advice? thanks 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:46 PM Flag
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wait, try again in a couple months. Also, incentives worked for my ds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:19 PM Flag
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tell your mil that all kids are different. tell her you are going to take a break from potty training and you will let her know when you start again so she can help you at that time. then, try to avoid letting her know when you do start again. neither you nor ds need the pressure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:21 PM Flag
[ - ] What are those hackey sack balls that all the kids want called? Thanks. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.19.08, 01:44 PM Flag
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I think they're called hackey sacks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:19 PM Flag
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THANKS!! I was completely blanking on that! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:30 PM Flag
[ - ] Now that I got my child into a good elementary school can I become the next Aronow? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.19.08, 01:44 PM Flag
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for REAL, right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:45 PM Flag
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I just looked through her website and all she has going for her is that she is in touch with many (all?) schools in one or the other way. I can do that, too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:48 PM Flag
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It's so funny that people pay her for advice they could get from neighbors or co-workers. people just need to start talking to one another. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:46 PM Flag
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exactly. Suggest that here on UB and you will hear an ear full on how "difficult" it is to communicate about this process even with your best friends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:48 PM Flag
[ - ] Wordsmiths, help! Trying to help a kid who just got back from Iraq with his resume. he was responsible basically for loading stuff onto the ships. He has "responsible for planning and loading"... What's a fancier way of saying this? I am having a brain cramp. Please someone respond. TIA. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:43 PM Flag
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Managed and coordinated loading x number of tons of cargo, munitions, supplies or whatever onto x-ton aircraft carriers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:47 PM Flag
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This is great, thanks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:54 PM Flag
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i'm thinking... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:48 PM Flag
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Managed logistics for transferring X tons of military equipment, etc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:53 PM Flag
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If you sit down with him and ask him questions, I bet it will turn out that he trained for more than just that, and did more than just that, all of which should go on his resume. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:54 PM Flag
[ - ] 2.5 yo DS has fever of 103.5 and no other symptoms (except maybe being a little cranky). Would you call the doctor? Give Motrin? Or just ride it out and re-evaluate tomorrow? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:42 PM Flag
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definitely motrin. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:43 PM Flag
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I would give motrin and call if it's not down in 30 minutes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:43 PM Flag
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OP: Thanks. Any guesses about what it could be? He's already had roseola. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:01 PM Flag
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could be an ear infection, in which case he should be seen by ped. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:04 PM Flag
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He doesn't have any symptoms though--no congestion, no complaining of pain. When he's had ear infections in the past, those have always been his symptoms. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:05 PM Flag
[ - ] We are planning a goodbye party for our nanny's last full day. dc's will color pictures. any ideas for a gift? 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:41 PM Flag
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how long has she been with you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:42 PM Flag
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a few months. i think she started in mid-january. she's been great and really helped what had been a disastrous transition from sah to woh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:44 PM Flag
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I'd give a framed picture of her with the kids (or just the kids) and $50 cash. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:45 PM Flag
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op: i think i'll do this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:52 PM Flag
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honestly? cash and a pic of the kids [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:42 PM Flag
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Can't go wrong with a GC [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:42 PM Flag
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i don't want to do a gift card for two reasons. one is that i'm not planning on giving that much money and i think a gift card might look stupid unless it's a lot of money. and mostly b/c i want it to be something dc's can appreciate giving her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:45 PM Flag
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Why aren't you giving her a good bonus? Trust me, if you don't she will resent it and likely will warn others not to work for you. If she's been a good nanny you owe her at least one week's pay extra. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:47 PM Flag
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i actually disagree with you. i'd love to give a bonus as a token of appreciation but i don't feel i owe it to her. it was a contract job, she was hired for a certain amount of time. i paid her for the time and now the job is over. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:01 PM Flag
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but if she did good work she should be rewarded. You sound pretty heartless, I'm sure the nanny is glad your "contract" is over if that is your attitude. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:04 PM Flag
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i agree. and i would like to give her a bonus. but i don't feel it's owed. (pet peeve of mine. i guess i'm getting off topic here.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:05 PM Flag
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owed may be the wrong word, but expected or normal is what it is [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:06 PM Flag
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ok. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:10 PM Flag
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is the gift for the nanny or for your dc's benefit? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:48 PM Flag
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it's to show our appreciation of the work she did, above and beyond. i don't think a $25 gift card is that nice of an appreciation. but maybe i'm wrong. or maybe we should just do more than that. (she works p/t if that makes a difference). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:50 PM Flag
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You need to give her a larger bonus than that, that is the best (really the only) way to "show your appreciation". What is her weekly pay? if above $200 give her that, if not, give her a least $200 in cash. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:50 PM Flag
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A large bonus in cash. As a former nanny, that is what I would have wanted. And a picture of the kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:45 PM Flag
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op: i think we'll do some extra cash and a picture. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:53 PM Flag
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good choice, op. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:54 PM Flag
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If you're going to do a photo of the kids, here's an idea I did for grandmothers once. I bought plain white mattes and had the kids water color them. They really can't mess them up - my 18 month old even helped. Then I put the pictures in the matte they had painted themselves. Turned out really cute. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:11 PM Flag
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that sounds like a nice idea. i would love to do something personal and that might work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:13 PM Flag
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picture of your kids, recommendation letter from you , and 50 bucks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:29 PM Flag
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also, have your kids make a card [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 02:30 PM Flag
[ - ] is not hugging your child when she cries a rejection of her, or a withdrawal of one's love? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:40 PM Flag
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depends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:43 PM Flag
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you could just as easily ask whether hugging your child when she cries rewards bad behavior. It all depends on context. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:43 PM Flag
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thank you, thank you , thank you. i don't think crying is really bad behavior but the less emphasis i put on it, the less she cries. i just worry that it is being unkind. have had to ignore it on two occasions when she was in fits of tantrums. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:45 PM Flag
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It depends. If DC is crying because they are hurt or scared, then yes, it is a rejection. If DC is crying because you will not buy them the breakfast cereal they want or otherwise manipulate you, then no, it's being a parent. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:44 PM Flag
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but i think that if you hug when they are 'hurt' it actually hurts more. for instance, we were strolling on a bumpy road the other day. the stroller hit a big bump. dd was fine. i said, 'sorry, about that, dd" and she started crying. had i said nothing. she would have been fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:47 PM Flag
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There are the little boo-boo that shouldn't be fussed over and then there is the fall off the top of the monkey bars that really does hurt and needs love and kisses (and an ice bag). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.19.08, 01:53 PM Flag
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