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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] So I am expecting a baby that will more than likely need surgery at birth. Is it really insensitive of a friend to tell dh that he is really entitled because he is sad and nervous about the birth. She reminded him of how lucky he is that he doesn't live in sub-saharan Africa with these problems. I am a little hormonal, but so pissed off. Legitimate? (We do know how lucky we are to have access to excellent doctors in NYC.) 32 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Expecting 07.02.08, 07:44 PM Flag
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Your friend is insensitive and I would be upset too. "Entitled" -- OMG, what's wrong with this person??? GL to you and your baby. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:45 PM Flag
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Thanks. I don't know what is wrong with her. She was visiting for a few days and so judgmental. Good friend, no kids. Couldn't understand why we had so much stuff for dd #1, was appalled that we weren't borrowing a bassinet (have no other friends with small children and don't have dd's anymore), suggested to my dd that she should be drawing water from a well for her bath. Since dd is 3, she didn't really get the equity thing, just was confused. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:48 PM Flag
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np: I have a friend who is so desperate to have kids of her own that she is unbelievable in the things she would say about my pregnancies (which are complicated) and when one of my DC was in the NICU. Now that the kids are older, she seems to always talk about how she would parent them "better" and "more empathetic." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:52 PM Flag
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Friend is being an insensitive bitch. Good luck to you and baby - I'm sure you have the best doctors. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:46 PM Flag
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not hormonal. That is totally inappropriate. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:46 PM Flag
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No, she's an unfeeling idiot. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:46 PM Flag
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people say the weirdest things when presented with difficult situations. you wouldn't believe some the totally stupid things people said to me when one of our children died. You just have to let it go. People get weird around death and illness. Cherish the friends who do get it and know just what to say, and learn from the ones who don't. I'm sorry, I'll say a prayer for you and the baby tongiht. All the best. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:46 PM Flag
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np: sorry for your loss [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:47 PM Flag
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thanks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:48 PM Flag
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np: you sound very wise [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:47 PM Flag
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I am so sorry. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:48 PM Flag
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thank you, didn't mean to make it about me, just wanted op to know where I came from [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:49 PM Flag
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Most people with whom we've shared the information have been really nice. Some have sort of appropriated the drama, which is weird - I don't know if it makes sense, but are sort of like breathlessly waiting to hear more about other people's tragedies. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:51 PM Flag
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:) yes! We called them the foul weather friends. I remember! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:54 PM Flag
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they really suck the life out of you. pretty sure this event will end up defining some friendships for me. there are also well meaning friends who say "oh it won't be that bad. why worry until it happens." but at least they aren't judging... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:56 PM Flag
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yep, hang in there, find the humor in making fun of the stupidity if you can. I remember when dh and I were writing some thank you notes long after - and one friend (a nice lady) had written to us that "half the church was behind us". We composed a pretend funny thank you note saying Dear Mary, What the hell is wrong with the other half of the church? May not translate funny to you -- but we laughed about it for days and it got us thru. Its all hard. But you will come out of the tunnel. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:59 PM Flag
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thanks. we'll get through it - at some cost, but we'll get through it. i just hate having to even think of being judged right now. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 08:04 PM Flag
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she's an idiot [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:46 PM Flag
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Well it sounds awful...are we getting the proper context? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:46 PM Flag
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Driving along, he telling her (they are very close) that he is frightened and upset, she telling him that he is a priveleged and entitled white guy. Maybe so, but in fact, he is a priveleged and entitled white guy who is having a baby who needs heart surgery. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:50 PM Flag
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she sounds insanely self rightious and a total hypocrit-I'm sure she considers herself totally sensitive to the needs of others (meaning poor people she's never met) but is completely insensitive to people she knows. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:56 PM Flag
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i am considering ending a decades long friendship over this. i just can't get past all of her judgments, when we are just trying to get from day to day with our little family intact and healthy. it is especially ironic because while she is far far far from wealthy, she lives in the whitest, richest part of marin county. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 08:00 PM Flag
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don't make any decisions now, its best to wait until crisis and hormones pass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 08:05 PM Flag
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she obviously doesn't have kids if she can think of anything other than the fact that surgery for a db is any parent's worst nightmare [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:47 PM Flag
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totally legitimate for you and dh to be upset. Your friend sounds like an ass. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:49 PM Flag
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she sounds awful - you're not overreacting at all. Does she have some sort of "issues" that might cause her to behave like this? It just seems so out of line. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 08:00 PM Flag
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well, try to think of it from her perspective, she's not the one with the sick baby. it's not her baby, it's another one of many babies born in this world with great needs that this particular society can attempt to fulfill. basically, she doesn't feel the love that you feel for your baby, that's not unusual. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 08:11 PM Flag
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np: That is a twisted perspective. Of course we feel more for the sick of our friends and family than for strangers halfway across the land - mainly because we see the effect on the people who love the sick person. And to then expect the friend/family not to feel more for their own sick child is a whole added layer of twisted. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 08:14 PM Flag
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i dunno about you but i don't expect my friends to feel for my family's traumas. my friendships are based on telenovelas. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 08:24 PM Flag
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oops, i mean NOt based on telenovelas. I guess I mean to say I keep my stuff pretty private, and really don't want, nor need the attentions of friends for situations they can't alter. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 08:26 PM Flag
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I can't imagine you wouldn't tell a close friend if your child was seriously ill, and would not expect if not support at least not a lecture about people starving in Africa. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 08:28 PM Flag
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Friend was an ass - you should be pissed - it was a pretty dumb comment. GL to you and your baby [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 08:19 PM Flag
[ - ] I was diagnosed with shingles last week. Doctors and others keep asking me if there is any stress in my life, which I know is a causal factor. I'm a single mom, and I don't usually think of my life as stressful, but I guess there is a constant low-level stress, punctuated by periods of, well, more stress. Of course, it would have also helped if I ever went to sleep at night..... 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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shingles have many precipitating factors - stress is just one of them, and its hardly the case that most cases of shingles are "caused" by stress. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 08:02 PM Flag
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I think it's usually after an illness or if your immune system is compromised in some way, OR if you are worn down. Stress is often a precipitating factor, as I understand it. At any rate, I guess I was run down enough without the stress. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 08:05 PM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone know anything about the Temple Israel play group? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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what do you want to know??? heard it is for kids turning 2 by september. parents meet with social worker kids play. great intro to the nursery school [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.22.08, 11:57 AM Flag
[ - ] what's a great website to buy a nice and unquie baby gift for someone who just had their 3rd baby? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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Checkout the website www.SewHappyBaby.com they have adorable personalized gifts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 04:54 AM Flag
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BabyStyle.com [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.10.08, 06:56 AM Flag
[ - ] I keep going by Mandell's new school in construction on Columbus and 96th Street. Are they serious? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Preschool/Kids 07.02.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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It's such a joke. They have a uniform and the whole shebang. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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I don't get it-what's the joke? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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np. I don't get it either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 08:37 AM Flag
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np. uniform just arrived and dc looks very cute in it. love the logo. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:47 PM Flag
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How far along is the construction? Does it look like it will be ready by September? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.08, 07:55 AM Flag
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still looks like it has a way to go. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.03.08, 08:27 AM Flag
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construction is on schedule, from what I understand [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 10:50 AM Flag
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that ishat K teacher told us as well. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:49 PM Flag
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^^is what [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 02:50 PM Flag
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What a ridiculous statement...why wouldn't they be "serious?" Are YOU serious? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 08:18 AM Flag
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op is jealous. ignore her. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 10:07 AM Flag
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ding ding ding! probably a SO, then applied to Mandell and didn't get in there, either. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.08.08, 06:50 AM Flag
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Hey, we need more schools. The more the merrier, if it's not for you than more spaces at the school that is. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.07.08, 10:43 AM Flag
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They teach the kids construction? Is it like a vo-tech school? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.08.08, 06:51 AM Flag
[ - ] Who knows anything about what's going on at Weekday School at Riverside Church? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
Preschool/Kids 07.02.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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You mean after they fired the director unceremoniously and several families took their kids out? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:29 PM Flag
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a number of very whiny nutty parents used to post here ad nauseum. good riddance. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:56 PM Flag
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I can tell you what's gone down over the past two years- what do you want to know? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.04.08, 01:59 PM Flag
[ - ] I hate dh so much. We barely scrape by living together. If we divorce we will be destitute. I am seriously considering an affair just to have some happiness in my life. 68 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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Money is a lousy reason to stay together. And your excuse for an affair is shameful. If you are unhappy, divorce. If that means getting a second job, do it. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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ITA and well said [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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I think that it depends on her definition of destitute. If they both really make little money (like 40k), then divorce becomes very hard. If we are talking NYC poor and they both make 100k, then it is time to get out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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I don't care how poor you are, living inmisery with someone you hate is far worse than any poor she might be for awhile. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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we live in the suburbs. We make a combined 50k. I took a second job delivering newspapers at the most ungodly hours of the morning so we could buy better quality food. We are BROKE. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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So leave him and provide for yourself. Don't expect him to feed you while you boink another man. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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That's pretty bad. Could the relationship going south have more to do with money stress than anything else, or was he a jerk before money got so tight? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:29 PM Flag
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a paper route! how much extra money does that pull in? how old are dcs? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:29 PM Flag
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I must have missed that portion of the wedding vows: To have and to hold, for richer and for incomes above $60K... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:27 PM Flag
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LMAO! I truly love you ;-) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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you misread the post (or i was unclear). I'm not unhappy because we're poor, I'm staying because we're poor. I'm unhappy because he yells at me constantly and orders me around like a servant. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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Have you put your foot down? There is no way my dh would think that is acceptable. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:31 PM Flag
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But you think you can cheat on him because you are unhappy and, in your opinion, too poor to divorce. Correct? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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I already have a second job. And my excuse for an affair is the fact that he treats me like $hit and I deserve better, but leaving would mean barely putting food on the table. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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You work two jobs, plus your DH's job(s) and can't put food on the table? There has to be more to this story. Where is your money going? If you deserve better, leave him. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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I say have the affair. Just ask dh if its ok and if he says yes, go for it. That's what we did. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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holy jealousy batman. what an awesome understanding dh. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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seriously... do tell!!! your dh gave your permission for an affair? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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yep, we are married in name only - be discreet, no problem. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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I know this is bitchy and naive but what the hell kind of jobs do you have that between three jobs you are still scraping by. Do you have a drug problem too? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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Wow. that was bitchy. I work at a library and he works in a factory. I'm sorry to inform you that not everyone in this world is wealthy. Some people are middle-class and some (oh the horror) are poor. Get a reality check. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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I'm have affair poster, and I get it. Income does matter. We would have to leave nyc if divorced. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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oh the humanity! There is a whole great big world out there you know [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:31 PM Flag
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yep, and we both like living in ny and like our childrens schools and decided it would work better for us to stay married and be discreet when looking for love elsewhere. You do it your way, we do it ours. NP [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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I don't have a problem with you saying this works for you. Whatever. She said she would have to leave NYC as if it meant the end of her life. Silly IMHO [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:36 PM Flag
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If you could. Custody agreements often make it hard for either parent to move. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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I meant all of us would have to move to a different city (we would never live in different cities with children) and neither mom nor dad was interested, silly or not. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:56 PM Flag
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So one library employee, one factory job, and a paper route totals 50K....Something is off. You both still make minimum wage? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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ITA. Doesn't make sense [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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That's not off... $25k is more than a minimum wage job earns. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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But they each work TWO jobs! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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no, i work two jobs. He works one. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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And how much would you earn if you left him? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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About 20K. I can't live on that. And the child support from his income will be minimal. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:41 PM Flag
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You work a full time job and a paper route and only make 20K per year? How many years of work experience do you have? How many hours a week do you work? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:42 PM Flag
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she didn't say he did, and I doubt the paper route pays much... Lots of factories aren't employing full time constantly anymore either. Cut her some slack, her story adds up if you understand what it is like in other parts of the country. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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I understand life in "other" parts of the country. In fact, I worked in a factory in MA for a long time. The only people who worked part time and didn't have second jobs were those who were on their way out of the workforce. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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Hate to break it to you but "MA" isn't other parts of the country. East coast, high COLA, unionized. UBers are so !(@(@# [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 08:48 PM Flag
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Again maybe I am naive but I feel that with 50k eating shouldn't be an issue. Maybe a vacation is an issue or a needed used car but not food. Regardless if her dh is a jerk she should leave him. Alone she could probably get some federal assistance plus have this affair she wants. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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ITTTTA [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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I didn't say eating was an issue, I said eating "well". Maybe a bit hard for you to understand but even us poor folk are aware of the health benefits of certain types of fish, blueberries, organic yogurt. . . not affordable on a low salary after paying the bills and daycare and what the health insurance doesn't cover, which is almost everything. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:44 PM Flag
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There are no health benefits to organic yogurt. Frozen berries are cheap. And frozen fish is very inexpensive. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:49 PM Flag
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np: When my parents divorced when I was 9, even as kids we knew we had a lot less. We ate a lot of tuna salad, and occasionally the electricity would be turned off, and when it rained, it rained inside, until my dad paid for a new roof. And we were middle class. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:49 PM Flag
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That's 50K together, right? Split up, they would have to pay two rents (or a mortgage and a rent) and very probably more for childcare. (np) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:45 PM Flag
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So you get a roommate, or find another single parent to share a house with, or you work a different shift than your ex and don't pay for childcare. People do it all the time. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:48 PM Flag
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Life is not as simple as you make it out to be. She balancing staying with someone she doesn't love or struggling financially. Have you noticed the economy has gone to hell? It's not as easy to find another job as you think. People struggle financially all the time and kids all over the country don't have enough to eat. I'm not saying that's OP's situation, but even if you are speaking from personal experience, it doesn't mean your experience is universal. And if you aren't speaking from personal experience, you should maybe not be so judgmental. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:53 PM Flag
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I am talking about what people do to survive. Plenty of women have found themselves on their own in financial dire straights. They get roommates. They team up with other single parents. They form babysitting coops. Do they do what they have to in order to make ends meet. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:55 PM Flag
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Or they stay in bad marriages, which, I would guess, is by far the more common solution. In fact there are many abused women who stay in marriages because they are terrified they will be left with nothing if they leave. Again, it's your attitude that's disturbing, more than your "adivice." [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 08:01 PM Flag
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np that is true. So what are you going to do about being poor? Opportunities are out there (and I'm not saying it's easy either so don't even whine about that) Go take advantage of some [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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We have high school educations. That didn't matter as much ten or fifteen years ago when we started working, but it's everything now. There's no way to get ahead or earn more income without a degree. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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well then one of you should go to night school. There is financial aid out there esp for people over 25. Divorce if you must and get a degree in something - even an associates degree will help you find something better. I know you are just venting here but seriously - there is no good reason to live a miserable life. Find out about your options, move to a smaller town near family etc and do something to make things better for yourself and yout kids [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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Yes, divorce and go to night school and find someone to watch her kids for free. Oh, and by the way, don't see your kids at all for a few years, since it's only people with money who have a right to spend time with their kids instead of working around the clock. If these were made as helpful suggestions, that would be nice. (np) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:55 PM Flag
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why can't she just have an affair? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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b/c it's dishonest and doesn't solve any of her problems. Would just make everything worse [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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np: and teach her children a very bad lesson [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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not sure you have to involve the children in the affair - sounds like a bad idea. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:36 PM Flag
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You assume it can be kept a secret forever. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:41 PM Flag
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who says it has to be dishonest? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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in her case it probably would be, we can't all have dh that doesn't care who we sleep with. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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she should ask him. hey, you never know. If you aren't sleeping together, he might be just as thrilled. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:42 PM Flag
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This is so unrealistic for most people - working and going to school while you are trying to scrape by is almost impossible. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 08:04 PM Flag
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Have an affair to get your groove back and stay married. It would be worse to be dirt poor [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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thanks. i think i will. i knew someone would understand. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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at least two of us do! [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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Just so that you know, op, this is why your life is a mess. You only listen to bad advice, refuse to listen to any thing you don't want to hear, and hide behind the "no one understands" excuse. This can't be the first time someone is letting you know this. Do what you must but please take a moment now and then to take your selfish head out of your own ass and make sure your dc doesn't end up a big loser like you. kids learn a lot by example. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:48 PM Flag
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worst. advice. ever [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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i think the affair idea might be a clue into your problems: you are thinking short term. gotta think long term. maybe you both should see a marriage counselor. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 08:19 PM Flag
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Are you frigging kidding me? They have no money - where are they going to find money for a marriage counselor? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 08:52 PM Flag
[ - ] would it bother you if some one you knew was part of a community that was known to be racist or anti semetic? Say a country club or a summer community that was so exclusive that it is understood exactly who they are "keeping out"? would it bother you if you were a minority? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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it would bother me in general, and specifically, but this is life, it goes on everywhere [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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Not nearly as much as if they were a skinhead or a member of the kkk or something like that. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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I don't understand, a skinhead and/or a member of the KKK are antisemetic and racist. Are you saying that it would be ok if it was a jewish org not letting in Christians or Blacks, or am I just reading this wrong? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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kind of depends why they were a member (family tradition etc would be less bothersome than they joined specifically for the purpose of not dealing with some group etc) Mostly I don't worry about things like that too much but I'm not a minority so maybe I am in lala land [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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it would bother me, and I'm not a minority. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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ditto - it seems so backward and narrow and not something that I would want to be a part of at all. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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but OP asked if someone you knew was in this - not you personally are involved. Would you shun a casual aquaintence for belonging to an exclusive country club or write off a dear friend for it? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:27 PM Flag
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I would probably write of a df that defended such activity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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op: interesting. it is a df from college. i've known about it for as long as I've known her but as an adult she has really come to embrace it and it suddenly has started to bother me. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:41 PM Flag
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there is no way I could be friends with someone who embraced it, and I am not a minority. It just is too creapy. I wouldn't want them around dc, and I couldn't respect them. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:43 PM Flag
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OR: yes, I would not befriend someone who knnowingly did this, and I could not stay friends with someone in this situation. If family, I would have to say something about it and would likely distance myself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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It bothers me and I'm not a minority. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:24 PM Flag
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Of course it would bother me. I wouldn't be part of that group or spend the summer's there. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:29 PM Flag
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^^^I'm Jewish, but it would bother me about any group [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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If you have a racist friend, now is the time, now is the time, for our friendship to end... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:41 PM Flag
[ - ] i am not in a sexless marriage, average 1x per week, but it is so predictable and so boring, want a dh who texts me sexy things or grabs me while i am loading the dishwsher, something a little more...i really don't want to initiate it bc it takes away the spice of it for me...any suggestions? I am thinking of just saying no to all advances so that maybe he gets extra horny? wwyd? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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there is this really handy technique. It's called communicate youtr needs. Tell him what you want. 9 out of 10 men would love to hear something like that [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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sex has been an issue in my marriage for the past year, he is not horny, he admits it, low sex drive, not his nature...he says it is not me it is him, maybe our marriage is doomed [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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then he should first see a doctor to make sure evrything is ok. After that, ask him if he thinks spicing things up somehow might help. Is this a big change? Most couples get in a rut at some point [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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Don't just say no, that will kill his confidence with you and he may stop all together. You need to initiate. Grab him in the laundry room, or in the garage. Do the completely unexpected. Chances are he will follow your lead. That really spiced up my marriage [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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Once you start he might take the lead. I say initiate it, don't say no to all his advances, that's mean and he might just feel rejected! Or try this, tell him what you wrote here. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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find some erotic lit that you really like and send it to him to give him new ideas [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:20 PM Flag
[ - ] I think my dad is starting to have serious dimentia. So sad to watch such witty and intelligent parents loose that. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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it is very hard. Sorry. BTDT. Just appreciate what he is and can do while it lasts. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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I know. My mom had Alzheimers. So this is parent #2. This does not seem like Alzheimers though. He is getting so forgetful though. I miss my Dad. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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I hear you. My Dad died from Parkinsons a couple of years ago and he lost it mentally before he died. He always knew who we were, but not always when or where he was. Hard to watch. Sorry about your mom. Mine is fine so far (Thank God) My biggest issue with her right now is that I can't stand her boyfriend! Oh well. Very sorry [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:23 PM Flag
[ - ] Please post your favorite white wall paint! Is Decorators White really the best there is? What about Super White? How does Chantilly Lace look in a large room? Going to Janovic tomorrow for paint samples so any help would be appreciated. Tia 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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dude. It's white. Buy some white paint. done [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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seriously [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:31 PM Flag
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actually they're all different - you'll be surprised [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:36 PM Flag
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and put them on your wall and you won't be able to tell the diff. Seriously [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:39 PM Flag
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np: Not true. Very wide spectrum of whites - some are really quite awful. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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decorator white is fine. or try dove white (or maybe it's white dove) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:50 PM Flag
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op:thanks [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:54 PM Flag
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Ralph Lauren, Picket Fence White. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 08:20 PM Flag
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I love Benjamin Moore CLOUD NINE. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 10:53 PM Flag
[ - ] I heard that there's a website with a name like yelp.com where you can check out salons in NYC. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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and it's full of shills from the stylists and their friends [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:19 PM Flag
[ - ] Dh and I have not had sex in almost 2 weeks. UGGG! Busy schedule lately, but a girl has needs. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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I am so sorry [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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I haven't had sex with DH in over a year [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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omg, what do you do? God that would drive me buggy, do you have other means? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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I don't actually mind. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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do you orgasm with dh? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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I did. Obviously, it's been a while. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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Don't you miss the feeling of being touched and orgasm? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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Yes. But other things are more important. Like fidelity. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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Is your dh unable to have sex? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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Physically unable but with no libido. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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ugh you must be the nasty who responded to my post. men cheat all the time when they don't get it at home, whats the bfd if a woman does it for the same reasons? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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No. I'm the one whose DH has thyroid cancer and has no libido due to all the radiation and chemotherapy. I can't imagine cheating on him under the circumstances. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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np: My DH and I weren't able to have sex for several years while I was ill. No one here but you would believe that he didn't cheat, that life was pretty good considering what we were going through. (GL to your DH, hope he's well soon) [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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I believe you. Because in my wildest dreams, I just can't imagine cheating. FWIW: I can't even imagine having the time to go out and meet another man, . [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:31 PM Flag
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Yeah, that too :) How is he doing? Treatments almost over? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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Good for you!! I like to hear from loyal people like yourself. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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sounds great to me [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:24 PM Flag
[ - ] About a year ago I almost had an affair. Got very close to a guy intimately, but never went through with it. Now I still think about this guy. Almost one year since we have spoke. Damm could it be possible I passed something up that I shouldn't have. Couldn't bear the thought of hurting dh and kids, but this guy still haunts me. Advice? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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Stop thinking about him, if you value your dh and want your relationship to work, then work on it with dh. Unless you can picture a life with dc's and affair guy let go. Just my opinion. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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no can't picture that in a million years [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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it's the thought that is nice, it would not have been nice in reality. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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what would have been nice; the affair? [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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being with the other guy. In reality, once married, he probably wouldn't have been that great. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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yes he would have crushed me, found out he is a real ladies man; quite the philanderer [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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then focus on this. It wouldn't have been worth it [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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oh i so know that; and truly i don't dwell on him There is just a part of me that still thinks about him. Think I had feelings for the guy is all and those just don't turn off I guess. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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no they don't... [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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What bugs me is why would I still have feelings for such a womanizer. I totally don't get it. His behavior grosses me out. [ Reply | More ]
General Topics 07.02.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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