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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Met bf's best friend this week. Bf's ex was really beautiful and his best friend thought so. any chance his best friend might say something to the effect that i am not pretty and he can do better? i know that sounds childish and ridiculous, but in the two times that he spoke to his best friend since, his best friend didn't even mention meeting me. not even "hey, she seems nice" nothing. meanwhile we have been together a while now and his friend knew everything about me. do men just not talk about these things? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.07.08, 07:43 AM Flag
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yes, they talk to each other about it. not you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:44 AM Flag
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do you think the friend would be nice about it, or say i wasn't pretty? we seemed to hit it off but i am no where near as pretty as his ex [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:47 AM Flag
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np: your insecurity is far more likely to become a turn-off than any perceived or actual difference in attractiveness. you need to let this go. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:48 AM Flag
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i never talk about it with him, but he has told me in the past how his friend loved his ex and wanted someone just like her. was kind of surprised that his friend wouldn't even mention meeting me. fwiw, i was there both times they spoke. i am sure they will talk about it when i am not around, but its always nice to feel the best friend likes you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:51 AM Flag
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Why do you know that bf's bf thought she was beautiful? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:52 AM Flag
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bf told me. he said his best friend "loved her" and wanted to find someone exactly like her [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:54 AM Flag
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well then he should date her now that she's available. more important that your bf loves you. i get what you're feeling, but just try to push past it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:00 AM Flag
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you need to get passed this. my exbf was very good looking and everyone thought so, but i was not into him. end of story. if he wanted to be with her he would be. looks are not everything. your bf likes you not her. forget what friends say to each other. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:00 AM Flag
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i would usually think this but she left him :( [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:01 AM Flag
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so what. who cares. you need to be secure in your relationship otherwise you will sabotage it.. agree with poster below. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:07 AM Flag
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How old are you? Seriously, this sounds like an issue I had when I was 25. I look back at it now and can't believe I was so insecure/immature. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:04 AM Flag
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My dh has 4 best friends and I have heard every thing they have had to say about any one any of them has dated over the past ten years. All of them are married now. None of them to the "hottest girl" and I think you are worrying over nothing. All they really care about is how you treat their friend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:10 AM Flag
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thank you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:18 AM Flag
[ - ] dd admitted to private (jewish) prek - we didn't apply for financial aid, and now regret it. just discovered that i am pregnant w/#4, and dh income has dropped precipitously in last few months. adjusted income for 07 tax returns was $100K. should we approach the school and try to apply now, even though the deadline has long-since passed? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:43 AM Flag
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can't hurt to try, right ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:44 AM Flag
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absolutely [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:45 AM Flag
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I would try. For the future, they usually tell you to apply even if you don't think that you're going to get anything b/c it makes it easier to calculate if there is change in circumstance. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:46 AM Flag
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op - thanks. do our numbers sound like we may qualify? what should we say to the school? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:50 AM Flag
[ - ] My DHs uncle is leaving him his grandmother's house for us to have. His uncle is putting the house in my DHs name solely. I kind of have mixed feelings about this since I will be the one contributing to the mortgage that we will be taking out to renovate the house. WWYD or say? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:43 AM Flag
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yes, but if you break up, you will not have any responsibility for the mortgage after that. ps, dh's uncle sounds like a jerk for doing this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:46 AM Flag
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yes she would since her name will probably be on the loan, just not on the deed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:47 AM Flag
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oh sorry, i misunderstood. uncle is a double idiot then. sorry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:49 AM Flag
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Oftentimes the bank will want you to be on the deed in order to give you a mortgage. As long as DH agrees to it should not be a problem to put OP on the deed too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:50 AM Flag
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this is true. If she's making payments she need to be on the deed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:52 AM Flag
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np: Why??? Most inheritance is like that, grandparents generally give stuff to their children or grandchildren only too, not to the DIL/SIL. I am sure both my ILs and my parents will do that, and so will we when the time comes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:48 AM Flag
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I agree, but there should be some sort of protection for the money she has put into the house. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:50 AM Flag
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If she ends up living in the house she is getting benefit from it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:51 AM Flag
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why not just add your name after the property is given to dh? is dh opposed to you adding your name? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:56 AM Flag
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i think in ny you do have rights to the house if you contribute to renovations and pay the mortgage even if name not on the deed. dh can add you after the fact cant he? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:04 AM Flag
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I assume that DH can add me after the deed is signed over to him but DH doesn't want to which I am insulted about and am willing to tell him to take the house and stick it where the sun don't shine. I want to go into the house as a partnership, not to worry about what happens if....I have an inheritance once my grandmother passes and in the event that I die, my DH gets my share, I would never dream of telling him that "what's mine is mine because it was left to ME." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:09 AM Flag
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yes, but if it's in your name only, if you split up, he may not get a share. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:14 AM Flag
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my cousin went through this. Just say that you will not take out a loan or make payments etc. unless it's in both your names. It's not an emotional thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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have a consult with a lawyer who understands estate and matrimonial law in your state. I can recommend someone in NY, if you'd like [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 11:45 AM Flag
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best response [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 11:47 AM Flag
[ - ] My 5 yr old is in camp and pretty miserable. I'm due next week w/#2 and am trying to figure out whether to keep him in camp, since routine is already established and we can't get a refund, or to pull him out once baby arrives and I'm back from the hospital. It's major drama every morning when we drop him off and my heart is breaking, but then when I pick him up he's just fine. His GM is coming to help after baby is born, so there will be help here. WWYD?? Thanks! 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 07.07.08, 07:42 AM Flag
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what do the camp staff say about how he does after you leave? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:43 AM Flag
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how long has he been in camp? If he's fine when you pick him up, then I suspect that he's just going through attachment issues with #2 coming soon. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:43 AM Flag
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His camp is at the preschool he's been in for the past 2 years, so it's not so new, although it's some different kids and teachers. I know a lot of it is attachment issues, but wondering if the best strategy is just to leave him there for the rest of the summer, as I'd planned, or take him out once baby is born. DH thinks if we take him out for a few days when baby is born we're setting a precedent that he doesn't have to go and things will just deteriorate. On the other hand, his GM is coming to be w/him when baby is born and it seems silly to have her take him screaming to camp every day and then just hang out at home. Help! I'm not thinking logically. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:47 AM Flag
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i don't think it's setting any kind of precedent. a new baby is a pretty special circumstance, as is gm coming to visit. you can tell him every time you have a baby he gets to skip school for a few days... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:52 AM Flag
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if new baby is there AND grandma is there, he's really going to want to stay home; it's going to feel like there's a party going on w/o him. sorry. maybe let him stay with you, five is little. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:44 AM Flag
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I agree. I don't think that it's bad to have him in camp now, but when baby is born and grandma is there, you will be setting him up for a lot of resentment if he misses out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:49 AM Flag
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why doesn't he like it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:45 AM Flag
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his friends are all doing different camps, so he's not close w/other kids there. he doesn't like the lack of structure. he misses his old friends and teachers, etc. Mostly, though, he wants to be home w/me. Even having trouble being w/favorite sitters unless i'm in the house. He's anxious that the baby may come any minute and i'll leave, i think... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:48 AM Flag
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np: his desire for attachment with you is a good thing, imho. and he has good reality testing in terms of his anxiety. his whole world is about to change forever. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:52 AM Flag
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have you spoken to the counselors to see how he's doing when he's there? he may just be acting out at drop off, esp b/c he knows baby is on the way etc. I'd keep him in camp barring a negative report from the counselors. gl [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:51 AM Flag
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I would give the kid a break. He's 5yo, his mother is about to have another baby, he knows his world is about to be turned upside down. So, he would rather be with you than at camp. Big whoop. Let him stay home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:08 AM Flag
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i just had a baby too. my dd is almost 4 and she is at camp where she attended daycare since 1. does not want to go but she is always like that. u need your sanity- keep him there, could he get a bus? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:18 AM Flag
[ - ] writing a story and need a good jewish grandmother name. any good ones in your family? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.07.08, 07:38 AM Flag
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we had a Miriam, a Minna, and an Edith... but she was atypical and not very nice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:39 AM Flag
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yetta, just like fran fine's grandmother! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:39 AM Flag
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who is fran fine? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:40 AM Flag
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omg - the nanny - the funniest show on tv ever :-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:42 AM Flag
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We had a Gerty, does that help? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:40 AM Flag
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Tilly [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:04 AM Flag
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Doris and Rose [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:05 AM Flag
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Haddassah [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:05 AM Flag
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ouch [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:05 AM Flag
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Lottie and Ruth [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:13 AM Flag
[ - ] just found out i have to have a C-section w/#2. Wondering how that works with "rooming in" in the hospital; will I still be able to have the baby sleep with me at night? Will I be mobile enough to pick her up/feed/etc.? Any BTDT? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 07.07.08, 07:35 AM Flag
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i had c/s in 1992 and 1995 and both times the baby stayed with me and i was able to do everything for both of them. believe me, i am no superwoman, it just isn't that bad. good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:39 AM Flag
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I personally needed my sleep after my c. It is major surgery. If you have a private room I guess you could do it. I needed someone to put my dc on me to feed and to take him off of me afterward. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:46 AM Flag
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I should also add that it wasn't a scheduled c. It was after a very long labor and I was very fatigued. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:47 AM Flag
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my roommate had a c-section and she could not get up for the first 12 or 18 hours, so her baby did got to the nursery, and was brought for nursing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:47 AM Flag
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that's what I just did. Nursed, but wanted the baby back in the nursery so I could sleep as much as possible. There's plenty of time to bond and during the day I kept the baby in my room the whole time. Just get better first, imo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:49 AM Flag
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I have had two c-sec. You may have trouble picking up the baby but you will be able to hold and breast feed and sleep in. I delivered at Lenox Hill and they were super accomodating. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:05 AM Flag
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I had a scheduled Csec. The first night roomed with a woman who had Csec and twins and it was fine, they do take baby away occasionally to do whatever it is they do in the nursery, clean up etc., as I'm sure you know, but stayed with me most of time. The 2nd night I had her I had a roommate who told me I was inconsiderate for not keeping my baby in the nursery (granted she was a cranky baby, but the woman was nuts in general and I had to change rooms.) The third night I no longer had the epi for pain relief and b/w the emotional upheaval the night before and the pain I told DH I thought I'd have to leave her in the nursery b/c I couldn't handle getting up and picking her up. Then we finally got a private room and DH stayed with me (of course, he ended up sleeping right through the night and not helping at all, so I ended up having to take care of DB all by myself despite the pain - so it is doable. GL. And of course, you always here stories about women with Csecs who have such wonderful recoveries, so hopefully that'll be you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 09:49 AM Flag
[ - ] any native hebrew speakers on? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:35 AM Flag
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not native, and very rusty but was once fluent. why? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:48 AM Flag
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op - thanks. trying to pick baby names and need to wedge some non hebrew names into a hebrew meaning. sasha. paloma. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:51 AM Flag
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i'm not sure i follow, but i named my daughter Zoe, which stands for "life" in Greek, like L'Chaim (sp?) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:58 AM Flag
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or here, not sure I understand, either. can you explain more? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:59 AM Flag
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op - i love the name paloma. i need to find some hebrew meaning/derivation or my dh will not use it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:28 AM Flag
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oh thats going to be tough. you need to do a search for names with hebrew origins and see if you can go from there [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:40 AM Flag
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Can you sort of "fib" and say it's the hebrew word for the latin and spanish word for dove ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:42 AM Flag
[ - ] After TTC for many years with no succes we are very eager to adopt. Any ideas on cost and suggestions for a US adoption? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:34 AM Flag
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Get in touch with APC (Aoptive Parents Comittee). They are a wealth of information and will help you every step of the way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:39 AM Flag
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Thanks. I just google Adoptive Parents Committe and came up w/ nothing. Would you happen to have a website or any contact info? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:31 AM Flag
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np: it's the first thing I come up with when I google. It's a NY tri-state organization, btw.: http://adoptiveparents.org/ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:47 PM Flag
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This book is helpful: http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/1593373694/ref=sib_dp_pt#reader-link [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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^^ there is also a book by Randall Hicks specifically about domestic adoption that can be useful. And Pat Johnston's Adopting After Infertility is very good on adoption in general. I'm not in NY but our local chapter of RESOLVE has a great annual adoption symposium that we went to--lots of useful contacts & info there (ultimately went with one of the agencies we saw there). So you might check your RESOLVE group. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:08 PM Flag
[ - ] went to an off b'way play and dinner on saturday night and then just walked around in the city. i miss it so much. i want to move back. not happy with my life right now. sigh 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:28 AM Flag
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I feel that way sometimes, then I realize what I really miss is living in the city without kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:43 AM Flag
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I live here and I cannot even remember the last time we went to see a play. What did you see, and would you recommend it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:45 AM Flag
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yes - we saw "some americans abroad" the acting was wonderful and the theme was about middle management cowardice and academic pretentiousness. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:48 AM Flag
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where do you live ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:47 AM Flag
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northern burb - but i work full time and so getting into the city is a challenge. i just miss the days when it was my home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:50 AM Flag
[ - ] I just don't want to have sex with my DH. I love him. He is my best friend. He is a wonderful father. I just don't feel sexual toward him. Anyone else ? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:28 AM Flag
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i really feel exactly like this. i know it's my "fault." sex always takes at least an hour and i would rather spend this time sleeping. awful, i know, but there it is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:31 AM Flag
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For us it's 10 minutes - give or take - and I think it's an exercise in frustration. Maybe it's that it emphasizes the only big negative. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:32 AM Flag
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why are you not sexual toward him? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:36 AM Flag
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I wish I knew. It saddens me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:38 AM Flag
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OP Part of me feels like he's my best friend and that's not sexy. Sexy is hot and new and exciting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:42 AM Flag
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i'm going thru the exact same thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:54 AM Flag
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what do you do ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:00 AM Flag
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unfortunately, exactly what you do. i'm watching this post for advice now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:06 AM Flag
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Do you think our DH's feel this way too ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:07 AM Flag
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this is reflective of an intimacy issue, imho. if you push through it and get to the next level of intimacy, the sexual connection will resolve itself. true, it will be different from the "new and different" sexuality, but better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:51 AM Flag
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by push through do you mane just do it until it becomes the norm / desirable ? I'm not trying to be a smart-ass, but I feel that during sex I am not "there" and I don't even want to be there. I want to WANT to be there, but I'm not. I'm thinking about the schedule for the week, the guy I saw at the Whole Foods, these sheets should be pressed before I put them on the bed next time, etc. I have no WANT for the sex. Does that make sense ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:57 AM Flag
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you iron your sheets? that makes no sense to me. but the rest of it does, I feel the same way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:01 AM Flag
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NO, I don't. But I think that it'd be a nice thing... You see ? I think nonsense instead of "Wow, Daniel Craig my ass ! This man is my man !" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:03 AM Flag
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lol. I think ironed sheets would be nice too, if someone else did it. Meantime, I feel the way you do, and I just try to deal with it, b/c I know it'll keep the peace. I'm hoping things improve when I stop bfing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:05 AM Flag
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One of our issues is that I can't stand my DH near my breasts. My kids aren't BF anymore, but now seeing DH's face there is a HUGE turn-off ! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:07 AM Flag
[ - ] Here is a link to the new DOE rules regarding address verification, since a few of you seem to think I was fabricating this. Read it for yourself. See Section VII.B. http://docs.nycenet.edu/docushare/dsweb/Get/Document-11/A-101.pdf 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 07.07.08, 07:26 AM Flag
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I like the "Homeless and Runaway Youth" clause. Maybe I should just send my 5yo to the admissions office by himself. No address verification needed for children w/o a home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:36 AM Flag
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I think the interesting thing is that the school staff is obligated ("must") to investigate and pass information up the chain. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:54 AM Flag
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Pass up the chain into the black hole DOE is. By the time any case is decided the kids will have graduated. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:58 AM Flag
[ - ] I really over did cleaning the apt, painting etc last Wednesday. The muscle soreness is better but I still have a 'burning' sensation in my arms and legs. What is this? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:25 AM Flag
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lactic acid. get a massage. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:26 AM Flag
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Would a chiropractic adjustment do the same thing as the massage? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:28 AM Flag
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no. A chiropractic adjustment may be a great too if you've knocked things out of whack in your frenzy of activity, but the massage will help the buildup of lactic acid. IMHO it's better to get the adjustment after the massage. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:34 AM Flag
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take some tylenol or anything else that reduces swelling. It will help a lto [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:27 AM Flag
[ - ] Am looking for advice on how often to feed my 7month old solid foods. None of the books i've read seem to clearly indicate this. Right now i'm giving him cereal and a pureed fruit at his 5pm feeding, but that's it food-wise. Not sure when to go to 2x's a day, or if once a day is fine. Please help! 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 07.07.08, 07:25 AM Flag
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Take it slowly. Baby cereal is fortified with iron, which can be constipating. We made the mistake of moving too quickly introducing cereal, and dd got constipated for a week (it's the only time she has ever been constipated; she's now 17 mos). Introducing solids is a big change for their tiny digestive systems. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:28 AM Flag
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Thx. Good to know. DB has happily eaten everything we've fed him so far, but he's definitely been constipated, too. Did you have a remedy for the constipation, or did it go away on its own? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:40 AM Flag
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We gave her pureed prunes, lots of breastmilk and I think we just stopped the cereal altogether for a while. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:41 AM Flag
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Pears makes our DB go poop [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:03 AM Flag
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My pediatrician gave me a schedule and I followed that. I can't remember the exact schedule anymore. I feel like it was twice a day though? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:41 AM Flag
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Our ped gave a rough outline that said twice a day. I also found everything else I read to be vague or contradicting so just went with ped's advice. Also, Books said to BF before eating solid meals,but my ped's advice didn't say that so I didn't. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 11:26 AM Flag
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The baby411 book said 1x day for 6 month old, 2x for 7 or 8 month old,3x for 9mth old. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 04:53 PM Flag
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we introduced new food every 3 days at breakfast. lunch and dinner would be other foods dc had eaten already. by 7-8 mos, dc was on 3 meals a day and we slowly started having dc eat what we would eat [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.08.08, 04:54 PM Flag
[ - ] Major moral question here. My husband and I have been TTC for over 6 years (3 miscarriages, 2 unsuccessful IVF cycles, countless failed IUS, etc.). We've finally accepted that it's not in the cards for us, but we want desperately to experience pregnancy/birth. My sister has offered my 15 year old niece's eggs. I love the idea of genetically "keeping it in the family" and it will be more cost effective than a traditional donor egg program, but I wonder if it will have any emotional effect on my niece. Thoughts? 38 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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TTC 07.07.08, 07:22 AM Flag
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is that even legal? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:23 AM Flag
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I don't think that it would be. Certainly not ethical at all. The donor process can be somewhat painful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:24 AM Flag
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I have to believe with all my heart that this is a fake post. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:23 AM Flag
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ITA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:24 AM Flag
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ditto. a bad fake too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:24 AM Flag
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I really hope so too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:24 AM Flag
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My first thought is that this is fake....a 15 yo should not be making a decision to donate her eggs and put her body through that, nor should her mother be making that decision for her. I doubt any doctor would harvest eggs from a minor child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:24 AM Flag
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This is fake, right? If not you are a very selfish and misguided person. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:25 AM Flag
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What's wrong with you people!? It's a legitimate question. Obviously none of you have struggled with infertility. I don't have 40k for the donor program and know people who have harvested eggs from friends/relatives. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:29 AM Flag
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from friends and family, not a 15 year old girl! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:31 AM Flag
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What do you think it's like ? COMA ? She has to consent, cannot legally give consent, and therefore it is a ridiculous premise. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:31 AM Flag
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uh, nothing wrong with getting eggs from a relative as long as that relative is not a minor child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:31 AM Flag
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I have been through I/F. I would never even consider having a 15 y.o. girl, that's right GIRL!, contribute eggs so I can fulfill my desire for pregnancy & birth. We went the adoption route instead. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:45 AM Flag
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Why selfish and misguided? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:30 AM Flag
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A 15yo cannot possibly understand how this is going to emotionally effect her, so she cannot possibly give consent to such a thing. It was horrible of the mother to even suggest it, and I'm assuming she did not discuss it with her daughter first before telling you. That puts the 15yo GIRL in a horrible spot. Thankfully, I doubt that any doctor in the US will agree to it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:33 AM Flag
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Actually my RE has performed a similar procedure and said it's completely legal w/ parental consent [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:36 AM Flag
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That's insane! I was a mature 15yo, but there is no way I could have handled that. Has the daughter even been told that you all are considering putting her through this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:37 AM Flag
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what's a RE ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:41 AM Flag
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I don't know what it stand for, but it's a doctor that does all the fertility treatments. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:44 AM Flag
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reproductive endocrinologist. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:45 AM Flag
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thank you. People just throw on initials here sometimes and I am clueless ! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:46 AM Flag
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I wouldn't know if I hadn't been to one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:51 AM Flag
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LOL ! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:51 AM Flag
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Is what she wrote correct ? can they actually take eggs from a 15 yo with parental approval ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:51 AM Flag
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I don't know. We only did one IVF--huge failure--the docs all started pushing donor egg and we just turned the other way and went straight to adoption. I assume if a girl is ovulating it is possible to harvest eggs from her, but I have trouble seeing an ethical doctor agreeing to do that--it is an invasive procedure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:53 AM Flag
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thanks. it seems wacky. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:54 AM Flag
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Can you explain what's selfish and misguided about it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:31 AM Flag
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You're acting like she's not a child herself. She can't possibly be ready to handle that sort of decision. I know that you're hurt and scared about the next phase of fertility treatments, but you should not involve a child in them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:41 AM Flag
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I also have been ttc for along time after #1 was born. But I would not do what you are contemplating. A 15 yo doe snot have the ability to make that kind of decision and this could totally screw up her life. Her mother should offer her OWN eggs, not those of her teen daughter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:33 AM Flag
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ITA...that girl's mother is a nut job....who would do such a thing? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:34 AM Flag
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If I found out my mother got me by getting eggs from a 15yo, I would never forgive her. Where's the respect for childhood? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:39 AM Flag
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Wow, no need to hold back on your true feelings, but you've all given me much needed perspective. Sometimes you want something so badly that you lose sight of the other side of the equation. I'm normally a very rational person but I think I'm losing my mind over my desire to have a baby. When I read the postings I realized what an absurd idea it is so thanks for the much needed slap in the face. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:29 AM Flag
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I understand the desperation--it sounds like you really lost perspective. You may not want to consider adoption at all, but you might still find the book Adopting After Inferility helpful. The first section is exercises for a couple to do to get clarity on what it is they really want/need. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:39 AM Flag
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I am sorry that you're going through this. You're not alone in loosing perspective while ttc. You've obviously been through a lot. I'm glad that reading these responses has helped to wake you up. Good luck and I hope that everything works out for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 10:03 AM Flag
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why not get them from your sister instead of a 15yo who may have regrets someday? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:27 AM Flag
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My sisters are all in their 40s so I doubt the quality would be very good. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:30 AM Flag
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Think of the privacy aspect, as well, and would you want your niece to tell your future child that she is the donor. Don't think it couldn't be blurted out one day and that would screw your kid up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.20.08, 08:18 PM Flag
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I think this family is obviously completely f'd up. What gives you the right? You are infertile. Well, deal with it. But don't use your 15 year old niece to satisfy your own sick ideas. Put an ad for an NYU student in the student paper or something. This is the sickest post I have ever read on UB and your sister should have her children taken away from her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 09.20.08, 08:23 PM Flag
[ - ] At what age did you switch your dc from a bottle to a sippy cup? Any brand recs? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:12 AM Flag
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Neither ever used a sippy. We went from bottle to straw cup or open cup. Both were there by one year--my youngest started the straw cup around 6 months. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:19 AM Flag
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I thought that the reason to switch them was because of dental development. How does a straw cup change that if the straw isn't even flexible? I am confused. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:23 AM Flag
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Our ped recommended the straw over the sippy so we went with that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:24 AM Flag
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we started sippy at 5 mos while dd was still on the bottle [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:22 AM Flag
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My dc won't take a sippy with milk but will with water. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:24 AM Flag
[ - ] DHs cousin is visiting from the UK, I noticed she doesn't flush the toilet after peeing. Is this normal? Will leave a small amount of toilet paper there too. 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:08 AM Flag
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no, no one flushes the toilet in the UK. ever. really, I used to live there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:10 AM Flag
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They let the pee accumulate in the toilet? When is it time to flush for them? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:11 AM Flag
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if its yellow, let it mellow. if its brown, flush it down [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:15 AM Flag
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that's the standing policy in our house, unless there is company. I wouldn't do it at someone else's house though [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:22 AM Flag
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us too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:23 AM Flag
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OR: I was joking. I did used to live there, but of course they flush the toilet! your dh's cousin has no manners (or comes from a home with v old toilets, where maybe they don't want to overuse them) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 08:03 AM Flag
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In NYC when there was a water crisis a few years back, the motto was: "If it's yellow, let it mellow -- if it's brown, flush it down." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:12 AM Flag
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ditto in SFO [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:24 AM Flag
[ - ] Best place to buy a backpack for a 3 yo in Brooklyn? Need a replacement for camp ASAP--can't order online. TIA. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.07.08, 06:53 AM Flag
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target [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 06:56 AM Flag
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Thanks--I was there over the weekend. Nothing appropriate for that age. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:04 AM Flag
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sometimes supermarkets, drug stores sell small backpacks. is he going to be carrying it all day, or just to transport things at drop-off/pick-up time? the problem w/ small backpacks is that they are small and often can't hold more than a lunchbag. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:06 AM Flag
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He needs to carry a towel, a change of clothes, a bottle of water, and a snack--just for pick-up/drop-off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:07 AM Flag
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cvs always has this kind of thing on the "seasonal" aisle. good luck. camp. . . sigh - wish i were there now :-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:36 AM Flag
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Models? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.07.08, 07:11 AM Flag
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