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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Why are UB parents so obsessed with proving that DCs are not gifted (or not highly, profoundly etc.)? Why don't you just worry about your own DC? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.21.08, 11:52 AM Flag
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I find all of the "gifted" talk annoying as well. FWIW, my dd will be going to a great g&t program, but honestly, the only thing her score meant to me was that she had a shot a great program that I loved. I don't think it means that she is gifted, and I don't think of her as gifted. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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first of all what is "FWIW" and "VBA"? ITA, there are only a handful of prodogy kids, I don't think my son is one of them. I am glad that he scored well to get into a very good program as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:17 PM Flag
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For what it's worth, and veiled brag alert. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:18 PM Flag
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That post was insane. Those old biddies snapping back and forth ' no my child is gifted' 'no he is not' [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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old biddies? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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Martha? Ethel? Is that you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:14 PM Flag
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Because people like to knock people down a peg or two. Especially VBAs (or not so V'd BAs). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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But it doesn't work, the "knock down" posters just seem bitter and jealous. Frankly, I'm glad the G&T programs are for regular smart kids, because that's exactly what my DC is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:23 PM Flag
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didn't see the post you are talking about, but i've gotten flamed too many times about thinking my child *is* advanced. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:25 PM Flag
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OP: Nothing wrong with thinking that. My beef is with those people who are intent on proving that your DC isn't. Or if you need to assert that your DC is more advanced than another DC. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:28 PM Flag
[ - ] How did you find your nanny? Word of mouth? Craig's list? Agency? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:50 AM Flag
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CL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:51 AM Flag
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I have found people using Irish Echo, Craigs List, Word of Mouth, and an agency. My best experience was with agency, worst Craigs list, but I do not believe the source determined success/failure, it was more bout the individual. One word of caution, do not believe everything you hear in a referral from another partent. People feel guilty when they fire their nannies and do not always give the full story. You have to ask very pointed questions - would you hire this person again, what are her weaknesses, is she punctual, does she take direction or prefer it her way, how many times called in sick. The more specific the better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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I find the comments of the previous poster incredibly helpful ! In our case, we hired our nanny from CL (we had just moved here, did not have friends with children). It worked out very well and we are very happy. We interviewed quite extensively (about 20 persons), to get a sense of the "distribution" of candidates -- and what to expect!! It really paid off -- and we learned a lot from this search. GL !! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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We tried Craig's List but the women that showed up at our door were quite creepy. In the end we just hired a good friend of ours who wanted to earn some extra money. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:06 PM Flag
[ - ] Having a problem with my 7 year old son. Whenever we are at someone's house and it's time to leave, he doesn't want to leave. We chase him all over and tell him too many times to say goodbye. The other night he kicked my husband. I told my husband to pick him up. He did and then my son was screaming. My husband yelled at him in front of everyone. I then told my husband you should have done this behind closed doors. Any suggestions on what to do with my son to get him out of people's homes? 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.21.08, 11:50 AM Flag
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have you tried 10 minute warning, 5 minute warning, etc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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Yes, does nothing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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we had this problem with my dd. (she was younger thought). warn him beforehand that you are going to tell him only once. if he doesn't come, then he won't be able to play there again. be firm. if you have to pick him up to cart him out there, do it. it'll only take one or two times before he realizes you are serious. i also told a story about when i was a little girl, i had a friend who always cried when it was time to go home and no one wanted to play with her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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I ahve told him the same kind of story. I am also afraid that if we picked him up like my husband did. People would think we were mean parents. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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it doesn't matter what people think. it matters what is effective. a nd if it's effective, you won't have to do it that often. cancel the next playdate if he doesn't leave properly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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I had a talk with him this morning and told him that if he hits or doesn't listen next time, ther will be no TV or Xbox or Wii for 2 days. Lets see! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:03 PM Flag
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i don't like that idea. it's not a punishment to make him miserable. it should be a punishment to fit the action. the point is that that is not acceptable behavior for visiting other people. and therefore he will not be allowed to visit other people unless he can behave. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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np: the point is that this is completely unacceptable behavior for a 7 y.o.! unless he has special needs this is behavior that has gone on way too long. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:17 PM Flag
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ita. the question is how to deal with it. and i don't think choosing a random punishment is really teaching the lesson. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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kids appreciate consistency (even if they do not recognize it). Be firm. I see nothing wrong with DH yelling in front of others if DS kicked him. If DH didn;t you would probably leave the house and everyone would say, "they need to get control of that child." Don't give warning without true consequence. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:03 PM Flag
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This is true. My kids lose privileges if they misbehave. it is really late for this concept but better late than never. If he doesn't leave when you tell him he needs to know that he cannot go over to someone's house. You need to get a hold of this now because it's only going to get worse. GL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:08 PM Flag
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np: the problem with that is the punishment is too removed from the behavior you are trying to exterminate. Put a toy he loves in the trunk of the car. When you get to the party, explain, "I'm going to tell you when it is five minutes before we leave. If you do X, Y and Z you can play with Polly Pretty Pants on the ride home." If he doesn't, when you get to the car, PPP goes in the trunk. Repeat with whatever toy is his current focus. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:14 PM Flag
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that's fine for a 3 year old, but this child is SEVEN. By 5 years old the punishment does not have to be contemporanious with the bad actions. They are old enough to get the connection. certainly a 7 year old is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:21 PM Flag
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The text books on behavior modification all tell you to keep the punishment as close to the behavior as practical. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:26 PM Flag
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well, I am no textbook, but I know with my 6 year old, taking away the computer for a week works wonders. All week long she thinks about what she did when she sees the computer and can't play on it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:34 PM Flag
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You are chasing your 7 y.o.? This is not ok. Give him a 5 min warning and then if he is not in the car when you say, ground him. I haven't chased one of my kids since they 2 y.o. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:10 PM Flag
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Partner with him-- empower him by coming up with a solution that works for all of you, with his input. Empathize with him about not wanting to leave a place where he is having a good time. He is a human being, not a collection of "behaviors". This is the only thing that "works" in the long run. Rewards and punishments don't. And, if your husband yells at him at home like you wanted (?), home will be that much more a place he doesn't want to go to. Sad. The parenting advice on UB is so bad! (My Way Or The Highway, Kid!) I hope you find something that works for *all* of you and preserves your son's dignity, gl... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:40 PM Flag
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We had this problem with dd a few years back (and she was 6 or 7). Basically, playdates just became a huge drag, so we talked about it and I said that if she did that again there would be no more playdates for a few weeks until she was ready to leave properly. She pulled the same crap the next time and we just stopped playdates for 3 weeks. When she started up again, I reminded her beforehand what happened, and the problem cleared up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:48 PM Flag
[ - ] What are the pros and cons of the various public school districts on the UES? We are currently in PS6 but need to move to bigger apt., and would be interested in learning more about the other schools in the area. Thanks! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 07.21.08, 11:49 AM Flag
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158 - small classes, nice facility, nice feeling - cons - you have to live really far East to be in the zone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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290 - good teachers good score. cons - large classes, lousy facility no gym, no library, no playground. More progressive approach. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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really no gym/library/playground at all? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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this is true and the buidling is 100 yrs old and feels that way. I am not usually hung up on facilities, but its facilities are really a downer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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59 - I liked what I saw on a tour, but no kids there. Downside is large classes, no assistants, no gym, no library. Moving to temp location "soon". New facility sounds great, but years off. Like principal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:59 AM Flag
[ - ] just hired this young girl to watch my 4yo and teach him spanish (she's from mexico). she will come by 2 afternoons a week. do you think it's weird or uncomfortable if i hang out at home with them and do work? i don't want to leave him home with her alone yet... thanks (never had a babysitter or nanny!) 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:46 AM Flag
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I would be at home but not hanging out in the same room until you feel comfortable leaving them alone together. FWIW, good luck getting him to learn Spanish with that little bit of time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:49 AM Flag
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uh... thanks? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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I just mean that unless it is getting reinforced more often it is unlikely he will learn very much, but good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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well, i guess a little bit is better than nothing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:57 AM Flag
[ - ] my 2 year old has pink eye and is on antibiotics. I think she gave me pink eye. Could I use the same medicine to treat my eyes as well? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:44 AM Flag
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yes. my ds had it a few weeks ago and ped gave us enough refills for the whole family just in case. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:46 AM Flag
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thanks - clearly, i wouldn't use the same perscription as her - but they gave me the refills as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:47 AM Flag
[ - ] Can you have a christening party if the actual christening is out of state? We are having db christened near in-laws but want to have a party where we live. Is that rude? Should we just send out announcements? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:44 AM Flag
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You mean I want my baby to gifts party? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:45 AM Flag
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no, more of a...some of my family will never see/meet him if we don't have a party [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:51 AM Flag
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just have a party. Make it for a silly "date" or just a party. (Silly dates: International Talk Like Pirate Day= Sept 19th; Pi approximation day= 22 July; etc.) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Unofficial_observances [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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don't make it a christening party, make it a "Welcome to the world" party [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:55 AM Flag
[ - ] PSA: It is RIDICULOUS with an ''i" not an "e". SIgh. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.21.08, 11:41 AM Flag
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I like it when people write "seperate" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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Or "definately" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:48 AM Flag
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Or "loose" when they mean "lose" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:15 PM Flag
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I hate it when somebody can't control the shift key. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:03 PM Flag
[ - ] how would you pronounce the name 'brina'? 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:41 AM Flag
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bree-na [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:42 AM Flag
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I know a BrIne-a. Awful name [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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that's what we are thinking of naming dd. rhymes with china. but not sure how to spell it. b/c i think brina will be pronounced breena. breina will be pronounce bray-na. not sure what to do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:48 AM Flag
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Don't do it. It sounds like "Brine" - why do that to your dd? Name her Sabrina nn "Brina" if you must (but pronounce it like the last 2 syls of Sabrina) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:51 AM Flag
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DO NOT DO THIS - cant you hear the kids now? "Brina Vagina" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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lol. never occurred to me. we'll probably use it as a middle name. also, it doesn't really rhyme with vagina. it rhymes with china. more like an "ai" sound. like the middle of papaya. i don't think there's any good way to spell it so that it's pronounced properly [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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if it rhymes with China it also rhymes with vagina, sorry to say [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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ok. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:01 PM Flag
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np: I'm with OR above. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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the one that said it'll rhyme with vagina? i guess we are stuck. we are almost definitely going to use it as a middle name. it'll be on her birth certificate but we don't plan on using it on a regular basis. i guess she'll just hate me forever. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:06 PM Flag
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middle name is ok... but just wondering why you are so set on the name? does it have significance? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:06 PM Flag
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yes. grandmother's name. we were thinking of using it as a first name but i ended up vetoing that idea. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:08 PM Flag
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I see... well, go with a middle name then [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:10 PM Flag
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thanks [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:18 PM Flag
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I have a "tough" middle name. Never used it. It was not an issue. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:09 PM Flag
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Eggplant? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:11 PM Flag
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funny. It would totally out me and I know at least two of my coworkers are here often so... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:17 PM Flag
[ - ] Could you pls share your experience with being induced? I am being given the option and dont know if I should wait a little longer or set the date now. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:39 AM Flag
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Please, watch "The Business of Being Born". Or read about it. Do not get induced because it dramatically increases your chances of c/s [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:41 AM Flag
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i was induced twice. first time my water broke and my body just wasnt' ready, imo. it took a long time. that being said, it wasn't a negative experience. second time was much quicker and easier. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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I would only do it if medically indicated. It will likely be more painful than a natural labor and has higher c/s rate. Not worth it for scheduling or comfort purposed imo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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Induced twice. #1 horrible - 29 hours, problems with cord, 90mins of pushing. Pitocin left me so bloated I weighed more the day after delivery than the day before and my baby was 9lbs! #2 fine - 10hrs start to finish. I would always wait and opt out of induction if an option. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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do not know if this will be helpful. I was offered an inducement date close to my due date and I declined, thinking I would not need it. My DS was then 10 days past due and we induced at 12 days past due date - he was over 9 lbs and a difficult delivery. If we had any idea I would not have gone into spontaneous labor, or that DS was going to be so large, I would have induced much earlier. I would set the date. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:44 AM Flag
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My induction definitely led to an "emergency" (not!!!) c-section when the pitocin made db's heartrate drop temporarily (this is common with induction). I think pitocin is one of the most hateful drugs out there for a zillion reasons. Would definitely educate yourself and try and avoid it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:45 AM Flag
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29hr induced mom had same heartrate problems, but no Csection. I would not elect to be induced. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:46 AM Flag
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i also had a 29 hour induction with no bad problems. the pitocin did leave me a little weepy afterwards. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:50 AM Flag
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I was induced 2 days after due date. was 2 cm dilated and 50% effaced and having cx (far apart and irregular).went to hospital and got cervadil at 8 PM. water broke on its own at 1 AM, ds born at 4 AM. no pitocin (until after - when I think you get it anyway to shrink the uterus back up). good experience, but I think I was "ready" anyway [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:46 AM Flag
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I was induced at 39 weeks and 5 days. Took a loooong time, I wouldn't dialate more than 3 cm, then after 22 hours doctors decided that a C/S was best. But then, a final examination found me to be 9.5 centimeters, so we pushed, and I ended up with a vaginal birth. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:48 AM Flag
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I went to the hospital to be induced they broke my water they let me wait ds was born 2 hrs later [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:49 AM Flag
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one option may be to have your water broken and see if you go into labor naturally without pitocin; this worked for me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:52 AM Flag
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I had to be induced at 38 wks for complications. Cervadil started at 7pm, then at 8:30am the next morning OB broke my water and started pitocin, and I got the epidural. Baby born at 10am. Easy, relatively pain-free (the cervadil was uncomfortable so I didn't get much sleep overnight, but it wasn't painful). I would do it again in a second. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:52 AM Flag
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i was induced with #2 at 41 weeks. (i went into labor naturally with #1, who was born on her due date). dr told me that rates of stillbirth go up past 41 weeks and that the chance of a c-section do *not* go up much. it went very quickly and easily for me - had the cervical suppository about 3 am, pitocin about 7:30am, dd was born at 9:33 after about 20 minutes of pushing. but i missed the experience of going into labor and feel like dd's birthday isn't her "real" one (ridiculous, i know). everyone's experience is different. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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I was induced on my due date due to pre-ecclampsia. The combo of drugs I was on made me vomit continuously for hours. Because I was also on medication for my blood pressure, the efficacy of the pitocin was reduced, so my contractions were weak, making pushing that much harder. It was an awful experience and I still feel bad about it over two years later. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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If your baby isn't too big wait a little longer. It wasn't a good experience for me. 30 hours of labor, so swollen (4 days after delivery I had only lost 4 pounds!) and I had an 8 Lb baby! After about 24 hours they were really pushing for a c/s but since the baby was still fine I insisted on waiting. Had more tearing that I think one would have if the spontanously went into labor. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 05:58 AM Flag
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Well, I'll be the deveil's advocate & say my induction was way easier and more pleasant than my first two (natural) labors. But that is because I have incredably short, painful labors - my first db was 4 hours start to finish, my 2nd was 2 hrs! Since I was now having twins my Dr. & decided we both had to make it to the hospital in time for their birth & we scheduled an induction @38 wks. It was a dream! For the first time I had a slow, steady buildup in cxs instead of an instant, explosive kabang! I didn't need an epidural & delivered both girls vaginally with about 3 pushes each. So everybody's different. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 09:16 AM Flag
[ - ] How many Esmes do you know? How many Astrids do you know? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:39 AM Flag
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I have an Esme! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:39 AM Flag
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teehee. how old? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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5 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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are those boy names? never heard of either! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:42 AM Flag
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Both are french and girl names. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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1 Esme, no Astrids [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:44 AM Flag
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I know one of each. I think Esme is beautiful, but Astrid has an ugly ring to it. Cool name, but not particularly pretty. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:44 AM Flag
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I know 1 Esme and 2 Astrids (though one is 40-something). Neither is French (they are not really "French" names, fwiw) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:46 AM Flag
[ - ] How much should I expect to pay a nanny to take care of dd for 2 days and one overnight? NYC area. TIA 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.21.08, 11:36 AM Flag
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450 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:44 AM Flag
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Holy crap! Really or are you flaming me? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:47 AM Flag
[ - ] Strollers. I have a 7 yp DS and a 4yo DD. Both out of the stroller and not allowed back after 3 to 3.5. It was a struggle sometimes and yes we were late to often to some places in the start of it but I just cannot understand parents who push their very very old dcs around in strollers. Do any of them know how ridiculous they both look? 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.21.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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while I agree I alwasy think it looks rediculous, I have learned never to say never [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:38 AM Flag
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I totally agree, most particularly because my 5 yo looks like he's about 8yo and has muscle weakness that he receives physical therapy for. So you would look at me on the street and feel all holier than thou, not knowing he has a medical reason he cant go more than a few blocks walking. You just NEVER EVER know. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:40 AM Flag
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OR below: Right, I just don't understand judging other people. Even if your dc didn't have some medical reason, you never know what the circumstances are. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:41 AM Flag
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OR: I applaud that attitude. When I have three kids under 3.5yo and suddenly found myself doing all those things I used to laught at others for (leash, anyone?) I realized it was so much more healthy to just live and let live. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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It depends on your situation. If you have a very long walk to preschool in NYC, you need a stroller. Sorry, you just do, unless you happen to be on mass transit. In our case, no good subways or buses from home to school, so needed it. Not for 7 year old, of course, but up to 4 is totally fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:39 AM Flag
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ITA -- totally ok for longer distances. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:46 AM Flag
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i don't see the big deal either way. whatever's easier. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:40 AM Flag
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I think people coddle their dcs way too much in this city. Juicy outfits, $10,000 first birthdays, strollers until they are 20 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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live and let live. It doesnt impact you if someone else's 5 yo is riding in a stroller wearing a $100 pair of jeans. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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Does not impact me, but I can have an opinion, on an opinion board [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:46 AM Flag
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Do you even live in the city? I do, and I don't know anyone whose kids wear Juicy outfits (whatever that is), have $10,000 first birthdays, or are in strollers until they are 20. You need to get new friends, hopefully ones who aren't judgmental. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:45 AM Flag
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Yes live here and have all my life [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:46 AM Flag
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Well, I bet you a dollar that the ones having $10,000 parties aren't the same ones with 7 yr old dcs in strollers. More likely they have limos, so don't care about strollers anyway. We poor middle-class moms who have to walk sometimes need them, but we don't spend huge amounts of money on clothes or parties. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:49 AM Flag
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juicy outfits and expensive first birthdays aren't coddling the kids. even the strollers aren't necessarily coddling the kids. i think parents coddle themselves. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:46 AM Flag
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The dcs become handbags and their accessories, mommies accessories [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:47 AM Flag
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Because how you and your DCs look is the most compelling criteria? Get over yourself. My DS is 3 and certainly more than capable of walking most places we go, but our walk to camp, for example, is just over 1.5 miles, and I'm happy to have him in the stroller (and under the shade) than walking. I could give two figs how it looks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:48 AM Flag
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I have a problem with the "not allowed" part. We either bring a stroller with us and so the kid can get in and out as pleased or we don't. Now we have a Phil&Ted for our 2yo and 6mo and our 5yo likes to sit in front on top of the swivel wheel. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:52 AM Flag
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I find it so odd that you care so much about how you look. And btw, I have an enormous almost 3 year old - he is wearing size 5 clothes now - and have had to deal with comments from weirdos like you for the past year or so. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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np - it sounds like you care what other people think too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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Not at all. It is simply annoying to have total strangers advise me as to what I should be doing with my child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:55 AM Flag
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then you should get off of UB [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:04 PM Flag
[ - ] Happily married at age 34... but randomly connected through myspace with a teenage boyfriend never got out of my head. turns out he felt the same way. and now i can't stop doing the what-if. there are all these crazy cosmic coincidences and connections that make me wonder.... yet i am happily married with 2 young children. 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:29 AM Flag
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everybody has one of those. but before myspace and facebook, you were less likely to connect with any of them and admit these feelings. it's not like you guys would have said this to each other if you ran into each other in the grocery store. just be happy to know that you guys had something special. it doesn't change your relationship with dh unless you pursue something. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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op: that's what i was thinking... it was a relief to hear he felt the same way and i didn't need to wonder if the feeling was mutual. i guess it's just the overanalytical me ... thanks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:34 AM Flag
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"oh boy. let's stop and think. what if? you'd be married to someone who is on myspace flirting with his teenage girlfriend, that's what. just stop it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:32 AM Flag
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np: lol - great point! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:33 AM Flag
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i get your point. but that's actually not true. he's not married. and not open to extramarital relationship. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:35 AM Flag
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Fantasy is a wonderful thing. Reality is likely very different. Keep the fun of the fantasy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:34 AM Flag
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op: yes, thanks. will keep it in the F category. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:36 AM Flag
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My teenage BF and I are now connected through one of those sites. It has opened up a terrible can of worms on his end and some of the things the comments he emails me are inappropriate and things his wife, who thinks they are very happy, would not be happy with I am sure. I am deleting my profile this week. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:37 AM Flag
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instead of deleting him, why don't you just tell him that some of the things he has written are inappropriate and it would be best if you guys stop communicating for awhile. And then remove him as a 'friend'? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:40 AM Flag
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I don't feel close or engaged enough to have that conversation if you know what I mean. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:42 AM Flag
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so then just drop him. don't even tell him why, unless he asks. and keep it short and non-dramatic. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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NP: I keep dreaming about my college boyfriend. Last night I had one & discovered he had really bad taste in decorating. Purple shag. We hooked up, but later (in dream) I found out he was having trysts with others, whose close I found. I checked out the labels to find out what sizes they wore. I was actually thinking about how I might "run into" him near his apt....Also had dream the other night about Jeff Goldbloom. That really surprised me. Not getting any with DH. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:23 PM Flag
[ - ] I am out on a three year maternity leave. With 4 kids at home it didn't make financial sense to keep working and get paid money that doesn't even cover child care (and the extra taxes). Since my employer gives me the option to take 3 years without pay but a guarantee that I will get my job back we decided for me to stay home. Unfortunately, it caused us to overextend on our credit cards etc. to a point that we have a hard time paying all those bills. Do you think banks are flexible enough to make a deal with us for the next 3 years (like no interest and cut the minimum payments in half or some such) and then go back to normal? We really want to pay back what is owed but just need a temporary break (the other alternatives would be settlement or bankruptcy). After three years the kids will all in public school and all my money can go to finally pay everything off. I need some hope here. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.21.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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sorry - you lost me at 3 year maternity leave [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:43 AM Flag
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LMAO [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:46 AM Flag
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honey, it's not maternity leave after the first six months :-) that being said, you do have a few options. have you been making the minimum payments? are you in trouble with anyplace where you owe money? can you transfer amounts to lower interest credit cards? if your credit history is good, you can apply for no interest or low interest cards and then transfer what you owe. meanwhile, are you being careful about spending? any places where you can cut back? (my situation is very similar to yours...had three kids in three years, took some time off b/c childcare was really expensive. managed on a really tight budget for a while) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:46 AM Flag
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No, we came to a point that we cannot do minimum payments anymore. Over the last few months it was important for us to make payments somehow and did so by transferring balances left and right. Of course that put us even deeper in a hole. The thing is that once the need for child care is off the table and I am back to work getting the heap load of debt we have right now paid back is a matter of maybe 4-5 years. Well, we do have an appointment to see a credit counselor next week so we'll see what our options are. If the bank are not flexible at all we have no choice but stop paying our bills and take it from there. Thanks for getting back to me, btw. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:01 PM Flag
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i'm not a professional so it might pay to wait and see what the credit counselor says. but i'd contact the banks asap. i'd let them know that you were not working, are going back to work, and you'll end up transferring balances to the banks/credit card companies that will work best with you. good luck and if you want budgeting ideas, i'll keep an eye on this post. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:07 PM Flag
[ - ] DS has started yelling at people: "I'm gonna HUMP you!" 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:21 AM Flag
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oh dear - what does he mean? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:22 AM Flag
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I have no idea [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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