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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] With all the new condos popping up on 4th ave, I'm worried that ps321 will pull in the zone boundary to 5th. Is this a real possibility? thoughts? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Preschool/Kids 07.21.08, 10:45 AM Flag
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The DOE will have to redraw the zoning map for NYC. There is no way around that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:46 AM Flag
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there is so much construction around here i really wonder what will happen. the DOE clearly cannot keep up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:26 AM Flag
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Call Liz Phillips at 321 & ask her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:38 AM Flag
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As a 321 parent, I really hope so. If they do, I would think they will grandfather anyone who already has a child in the school, though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:39 AM Flag
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I think anyone who bought one of those condos thinking that they would be in 321 lacked serious foresight. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.26.08, 10:12 AM Flag
[ - ] I am 13 weeks pregnant and my knickers are sometimes a bit wet. Is this a normal discharge or should I worry that I am leaking amniotic fluid? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 07.21.08, 10:40 AM Flag
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I had and still have the same thing. The OB's office said it's completely normal. As long as it doesn't have a funky smell, you're fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:03 AM Flag
[ - ] I am SO mad at dh! His sister, this weekend, announces that if they have another DD they will be naming her our first choice name (which I have never told anyone so I know it is DH). I have been TTC for over a year, and she is now pg with #2 so I'm sure it will be a girl..... and she said it with this smirk at me like "I know you hate me but there's nothing you can do about it" 71 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:32 AM Flag
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is this a joke? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:36 AM Flag
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no, I really wish it was. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:36 AM Flag
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i would use the name anyway [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:36 AM Flag
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sure there is, name your dd the same name. No big deal really. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:36 AM Flag
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we can't do that... if I ever do have a dd I wouldn't want her to have the same name as her first cousin [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:36 AM Flag
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why not? Who cares. Fathers, sons have the same first name. Who gives a rip about cousins. Doesn't sound like the families will be spending lots of time togther and chances are, the two children won't even live in the same state as adults. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:41 AM Flag
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what a bitch [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:51 AM Flag
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In many cultures it is quite common for a cousin from each branch of the family to have the same names, usually named after a matriarch or patriach. In my mom's family she has a sister and 3 first cousins with the same name, all the first born girl in each family. They were all around the same age too, the families were close, so they had nicknames that were only used with the extended family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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that's nice, but not part of the family culture here [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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so family traditions have to start somewhere. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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you both have names picked out and neither of you is pregnant? that is weird [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:36 AM Flag
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she is pg. DH and I have been trying for a long time, I have had 2 m/c, the second I lost at 16 weeks, so yes, I have names picked out [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:37 AM Flag
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Spill the name. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:37 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:37 AM Flag
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yes, she does not like me, and has made nasty comments about my not being able to have a baby before. DH admitted that he told her our name choices, and I am sure that she said this to spite me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:39 AM Flag
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maybe she is just yanking your chain, mabye she is a total jerk. Don't give her any more of your time. Let it go. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:42 AM Flag
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I wish I didn't have to see her but we're dealing with a terminally ill father and spending lots of time together [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:42 AM Flag
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That isn't going to last but for so long. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:45 AM Flag
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well, hopefully it will last a long time (he's doing quite well overall but had a setback and was in Hosp this weekend). However, sil/bil live in same city as do dh's parents, so we have to get together a lot (dh doesn't enjoy it either) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:46 AM Flag
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i'm sure she's not choosing the same name, purely out of spite. not that it helps much if you want to use the name. if you truly love it, just use the name anyway. if she is being spiteful, it will be right back in her face. or maybe tell her that you will anyway, even if you're not sure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:39 AM Flag
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so they will have different last names! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:40 AM Flag
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actually they WON'T because for some bizarre reason she has given her first child her maiden name [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:41 AM Flag
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did she keep her name? i kept my name and both our children have it as their last name. they are my children, too, after all! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:43 AM Flag
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i'm sorry, she sounds horrible. you've been through a lot. though it sucks, it's okay for dh to share with his sister the names you'd both been wanting -- the m/cs affected him too, and she's his family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:40 AM Flag
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sure, its ok for him to (even though we both agreed to keep the names private to avoid this sort of thing) but it isn't fair for her to throw it back in OP's face [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:41 AM Flag
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of course it's not okay for the bitch sil to throw it back in her face - i'm jyst saying she shouldn't be mad at her husband. who was also dealing with his own grief [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:50 AM Flag
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I'm mad at dh for telling her the name (which he admitted he did a long time ago), more mad at SIL of course [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:52 AM Flag
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Um, they probably liked the name too and thought of it on their own. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:41 AM Flag
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op - I know that they did not [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:42 AM Flag
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I'd let it go until you are actually pregnant. You might have a boy, and it will be a non issue. don't give her the satisfaction of seeing youa re upset. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:44 AM Flag
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with all due respect, you are overreacting. This is the kind of thing that gets you "SO mad"? jeez. Who knows if she'll have a girl, if she'll use the name, if you'll have a girl. If she does use the name, and your heart is set on that name, then just use it, who cares? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:43 AM Flag
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it is just very annoying,I guess you have to know her to understand [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:44 AM Flag
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You have to try to ignore this, even if she uses the name you wanted. If she truly is doing it just for spite, then you should feel sorry for her as she must have a very sad existence and be very unhappy herself for some reason. And it may be just a coincidence. But, when the time comes for you to name your ds or dd, you may actually prefer a different name, or need a boy's name. I promise you it will be fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:44 AM Flag
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oh yes, she is a very sad person and has some serious issues. However, her attitude toward me makes it incredibly difficult for me to feel sorry for her [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:45 AM Flag
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You don't have to like someone to pity them. People who try to make other people feel bad always hate themselves and she should be pitied. There will always be people like this and you have to know it's their problem. If you want to use the name when the time comes, there's no reason not to -- then it's your problem. But why let her rule your life? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:47 AM Flag
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I don't, but she is a thorn in my side often enouggh [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:48 AM Flag
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I totally understand why you are upset. She is being mean-spirited and you have been going through a really tough time. My advice would be to not worry about it. If, and when, you are pregnant with a dd, pick a new name and move on. If she ever mentions anything about the name she is planning to use, just say casually, "Oh, I really liked that name before, but not so much anymore..." and, of course, don't tell her your new name. If you tell us the name, we can tell you what we think and/or give suggestions of similar types of names. Good luck. It will all work out!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:46 AM Flag
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Thank you for your understanding response. I am just very frustrated right now, coupled with a weekend of NO sleep and dealing with lots of crap from all sides. The name was Beatrice, which I have loved for years, and dh loved it as well. His family is French so we need a name that works in both French and English, and is not ridiculously common [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:48 AM Flag
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That is a pretty name and I could see how it would work in both languages, although it sounds a bit more British to me. What about Lillian or Helene? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:52 AM Flag
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both nice. thanks for your response. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:53 AM Flag
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Also, Sophie is beautiful though it has been popular for a while... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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dh loves Sophie but I nixed it because its too popular. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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true, but not as popular as Sophia and I think it may be lessening a bit in popularity. It really is a classic name, though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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NP -- I love Natalie and Charlotte as french/english names. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:17 PM Flag
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what about: zoe, suzanne, michelle, alexandra, marie, claire? do those work in both languages? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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Genevieve [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:00 AM Flag
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Your DH's sister is a beyatch and I would be furious as well. Beatrice is a pretty name but Im sure that there are other MORE beautiful names out there that will sound right in English and in French- Make sure to pick ANOTHER name and make sure that it blows her baby's name out of the water - Im thinking about naming my daughter Jennifer Eve- that may sound pretty nice in french...another is Marchaline (thats name is going to be very popular this year - I bet.... since Angelina Jolie's baby girls is named Marchaline - and that sounds pretty in french and in English.... DON'T NAME HER BEATRICE - what ever you do - dont name her BEATRICE. gl. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:02 AM Flag
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since when did naming a child become a competitive sport? you don't get to copyright names - that's just life. you people need bigger things to worry about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:09 AM Flag
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why are you worried about, it sounds like you need bigger things to worry about..... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:26 PM Flag
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vivian, lorraine, amelie [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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is the name Seven? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:49 AM Flag
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huh? no. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:50 AM Flag
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Seinfeld reference. George was a big Mickey Mantle fan so he wanted to name his kid, "Seven" (Mantle's jersey number.) He mentions it and someone hears and then uses that name for their kid. George has a fit. It refers to the fact that unless you made up a name, your idea is not unique. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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I have the same name as one of mycousincs and it was never a big deal. She was "big XXXX" and I was "little XXX". Never really thought about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:51 AM Flag
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but how many cousins are there? for us dh only has one sister and I am an only, so if we ever do have a dc we might only have 1, and then there would only be 3 cousins [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:52 AM Flag
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so what? two marys or susies aren't a big deal [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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well, I wouldn't want my child to be known as little mary in the family, but that's just me I guess [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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I'm the one that started this little section - it was actual fun being the little one - never really bothered me and I never even really thoguth about it much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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Also, don't forget that she might not be having a dd, you might not have a dd and you might find another name in the meantime that you like better. I know it's hard, but she is the one who is making the problem and you need to be the bigger person. Good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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I'm trying. I didn't say anything to her, and I asked dh if he'd shared the name very calmly later on [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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There are a total of 7 of us (3 groups of siblings). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:59 AM Flag
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what a bitch! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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I have been on the other side of this although unintentionally, we named our son a name one of my brothers liked but it wasn't due to spite ( I simply didn't remember - we had a premie and had to pick a name in a hurry) but my brother was unhappy about it for a while. I told him he could name his first son, the same after he told me how upset he was but he chose something different. MY SIL thanked me cause the name he wanted didn't go well with their last name, but I did feel badly about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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imo, this is much ado about nothing. she may not have a girl. you may never have a girl. by the time you have a girl, you may have changed your mind. there are so many other things to worry about. plus, if she's as mean spirited as you say she is, she may have no true intention of naming her child this name. you are creating a stressful situation - this is not stressful in and of itself. my dd has the same name as her cousin and no one - absolutely no one - cares. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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You don't get to reserve names. It is that simple. If you honestly think she picked the name for her daughter only to spite you then I have to say, if is not your SIL's sanity I wonder about. If you acknowledge she picked it because she liked it then where is the beef? My suspicion: she told your dh what her name choice was, he knew how crazy you would react, said something stupid and his sister told him to go pound sand. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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For all you know, when you do conceive you may find that you have boys. I think you're getting upset about something that hasn't happened yet. It does sound bitchy of her to do this, but on the other hand my oldest daughter has a common name (Emily) and a cousin with the same name, and it doesn't seem to make any difference. I would wait and see what happens. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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I think you should calmly tell her that she knows that was the name you had picked out and she should know that you still intend to use that name. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:18 PM Flag
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But there is no way to know OP would ever actually use it. My BRR had a boys' name she loved, her SIL stole it and she was livid. She ended up having two girls so would never get to use the name anyway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:32 PM Flag
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Oh come on....if this were my sil, I'd smirk right back at her and tell her that I am flattered that she likes the name I have chosen so much that she would use it for her own dd. Then I'd add, I guess they'll be two in the family.....it'll be cute to tell my dd that auntie X liked the name I had chosen for her so much that she named her dd that too!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 06:49 PM Flag
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Deep breath and repeat, "I will grow up, I will grow up, I will grow up". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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NP: I find it hard to believe that SIL though up the name Beatrice all on her own. It's not a common name at all, and given the smirk, she certainly intended to rile you up, and has succeeded. Don't give her the pleasure of knowing, and, like other posters have said, select an appropriate name when your child arrives. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:10 PM Flag
[ - ] Starting public K in fall. In our preschool bday parties were invite the whole class. Public school moms - how did people arrange bday parties when your kids were in Kindergarten? Invite the class? Invite the boys/girls? do something small with three friends? Curious b/c my kid has a Fall bday. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.21.08, 10:29 AM Flag
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In our K class of 25 6 or 7 kids had parties with the whole class invited, another 8 had one gender only, the rest only small parties, family parties or no parties. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:31 AM Flag
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I answered a very similar post before. We picked a place easy to accomodate alot of kids and invited the whole class (as well as dc's friends from earlier years). Since it's public school, many kids won't come, but it's actually nice to get to know the parents a bit since at that age they often stay. We also only distributed invitations 7-10 days before the party so not everyone was free. If you can, I'd do both boys and girls at that age, although one gender is fine. Also, many kids also only invited a few kids from the class, which was ok, but if you can swing it, it's really nice to have everyone in the early months of school since most special friendships haven't been developed yet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:33 AM Flag
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how many kids attended your child's bday. I agree with you, but also do not like parties with too many people, just to much chaos and noise for me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:35 AM Flag
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DC was in a class of around 19 or 20 and I think maybe half came. There were probably 15 - 19 kids altogether (this was a few years back). But dc didn't mind alot of kids, and neither did I. If you really hate that, it's fine to invite only a few kids if they are special friends, or even none. You can't give invites in school, though, and make sure the number is less than half of each gender (i.e., don't only leave out 3 or 4 boys or girls out of 10). That's my personal rule, not some Emily Post thing, but I think it keeps feelings from getting hurt. But I really liked visiting with the other parents so was glad to meet them at the party and have lots of kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:39 AM Flag
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In our class only one child invited the entire class. Some invited same sex only - and some only invited their friends from the class and were appropriately discreet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:37 AM Flag
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That's what we are going to do. DD will decide who she wants to invite. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:44 AM Flag
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I have never invited the entire class nor would I invite all of the same sex. I invite who DC wants to invite--it is, after all DC's party. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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Just curious -- if dc wants to invite all but one or 2 kids in class of same gender, do you let him/her? If you read the OP, this is about a kid starting K in a new school where her birthday is coming up a few weeks into the year. Most kids don't have good friends yet in the class. It's very different when kids are older and have set friends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:06 AM Flag
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^^^what I have seen is that kids friends change every week at that age, especially in a class where everyone is new. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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so very true! And yes, let your child invite who she wants and be discreet. It didn't kill our generation, it won't kill this one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:13 AM Flag
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I agree, but just wondering if you made sure there weren't only 1 or 2 boys or girls left out. Or didn't really care at all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:12 AM Flag
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NP. I wouldn't care. It is her party. If she wants to exclude those two bullies that's fine by me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:14 AM Flag
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I guess I'm different, because I would care. At age 5, you can guide them to be kind. I wouldn't assume the 2 people not invited were bullies, and if they were, including them is a great way to turn bullies into nicer people. Doubt many 5 year old kids are true bullies. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:25 AM Flag
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NP. I agree. Why do you assume it's the bullies being excluded. Maybe it's the shy kids? Don't you owe it to your DC to teah him/her to be polite. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:42 AM Flag
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nnp: she sounds like a bully herself, and is teaching her dc to follow in her footsteps. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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You guys are hilarious. All these things you think you get from a person by reading a line or two. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:53 PM Flag
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Prek or other schools have a policy for these things - you don't want to invite all girls except one or two or create a situation where some feel really left out/singled out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:36 PM Flag
[ - ] 16 mo wants to eat all the time - what if anything to do? She eats three big meals of solids a day and wants snacks all the time. Doc suggested 16 oz milk per day, but she cries for milk sometimes and we always end up giving it to her, so she's getting more. She's not overweight, yet, but put on at a huge rate from 12-15mo. I can't imagine putting a baby on a diet, but she just seems to want to eat permanently. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.21.08, 10:26 AM Flag
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replace big meals with lots of small meals. kept the food you are giving her healthy. some toddlers need to graze. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:34 AM Flag
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ITA. My daughter was a big eater too and this is how I handled it-- put an ice cube tray out on the coffee table with lots of small portions of healthy stuff-- fruits and veg. I chopped it all up into small pieces at the beginning of the week and kept it in small ziploc bags so I would always have something on hand. At 2.5 she still eats but has settled into a 3 meal-2 snack system. Try to stick to the 16 oz and keep offering water. The hunger may make her a less fussy eater which is a good thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:09 AM Flag
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Believe me, fussy eating is not a problem. We have yet to find anything she doesn't like. She isn't fooled by attempts to offer water instead of milk, despite repeated tries. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:27 AM Flag
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Oh, and thanks for the comments above (though putting things on the coffee table won't work for us because of a veggie-loving dog.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:29 AM Flag
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OP: Uggh. This morning she wanted breakfast an hour before the usual time. She'd had milk just before. A snack was offered, she nibbled at it, threw it at the floor and had a tantrum for half an hour, until breakfast was produced. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:45 AM Flag
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a 16 mo old will not over eat. At that age, the self regulate remarkably well. Feed her when she wants, as much as she wants, or you will be creating food/eating issues. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 08:58 AM Flag
[ - ] how long will this freaking bleeding and cramping last? got iud a month ago! 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:25 AM Flag
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my cramping only lasted a few days; the bleeding was pretty heavy for about 2 weeks and i think by a month let up a completely. now i still have occasional spotting and once had what i think was a very light, short period, altho there's no way to really know the difference. hope you feel better soon. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:40 AM Flag
[ - ] 16 wks pg today... I have gained 8lbs almost everyone I have talked to has either gained like 2 or lost weight... am I gaining to much to fast? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:22 AM Flag
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Pregnant women gain weight at all different rates. Mother nature is gonna show you its not about you anymore. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:25 AM Flag
[ - ] Teenager gift idea, pls---13 yr. old boy (not bar mitzvah) basically lives for soccer. He is son of fmr. colleague. He probably has just about everything one can think of re: the sport, but can anyone think of anything? I know this is a tough question. He is also quite ill. TIA 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:19 AM Flag
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Biographies of famous soccer players? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:22 AM Flag
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Certified autograph of soccer star/team? Tickets to indoor soccer game? There's a site (google it) where you can design your own soccer ball - pick the panels, colors, etc. Or get him a gift certificate to a sporting goods store to buy equipment, sneakers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.28.08, 05:17 AM Flag
[ - ] baby#3 coming in september - #1 is 4.5; #2 is 2. we have a 5 year old bugaboo (pretty beaten up) and a 2 year old phil&teds (also pretty ratty); what to get/do stroller-wise? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:16 AM Flag
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I like my baby-jogger city mini... it folds up VERY easily and is light and has a good car seat adapter [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:16 AM Flag
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np: can you attach a buggy board? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:23 AM Flag
[ - ] those of you who had severe pp blues and/or depression, how did you deal? what helped eventually? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 07.21.08, 10:15 AM Flag
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i was very weepy for 2 weeks. due again in oct and nervous of it being worse [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:16 AM Flag
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support groups especially for PPD? Have you checked into realbirth? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:21 AM Flag
[ - ] My SIL is getting married this w/e. There's alot of bad history with my in-laws so I'm not sure if my judgement is clouded. My 3 year old son still naps or otherwise melts down by 5:30. He is a ringbearer for 3:00 ceremony, 7:00 reception. I would like him to nap before the ceremony but he will probably be dragged around for photos all day. Is it appropriate to insist that he nap? I don't want to deal with the meltdowns at the wedding. 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:14 AM Flag
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Try and put him down at 1 for a nap but don't worry if he doesn't tak eone. Keep him at the wedding as long as he can be polite - my boys usually do very well despite a missed nap in a new and exciting environment. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:15 AM Flag
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can't do nap at 1. Photos. Unless I say he needs to miss it. That's sort of my point. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:19 AM Flag
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Tell them he will come for photos at the end of the session, because he needs to nap from 12:30-2:30. He doens't need to be in all the photos at all - my rb was in about 3, taken around his nap [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:20 AM Flag
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have him rest after the ceremony. He won't be in every shot, have them do his pictures first [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:22 AM Flag
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i agree. ask SIL if its better for her to do his photos at the beginning or end and work nap around that. that way you show you are trying to be accommodating while still getting him to nap. also, try to remind her that it is better for her if he doesn't have a meltdown at her wedding. (btw, does he need to come to the reception at all?) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:28 AM Flag
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let's just say, she is having children at her wedding, and for him to not be there seem inappropriate since he is a ringbearer. her plan is to get a babysitter for all the little rugrats and stick them in the bridal suite. we are getting a sitter for our 1 year old at the MIL house. and then when our 3 year old gets tired, we plan to bring him back to the sitter too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:35 AM Flag
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that makes sense. He can be there but he doesn't need to be there for long. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:36 AM Flag
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OR: You will be surprised, at 3 he can handle skipping a nap for a fun event. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:26 AM Flag
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yes but then OP needs to forget about the reception, get a babysitter for him and put him down. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:33 AM Flag
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I'm amazed that the bride isn't hiring babysitters to watch kids. That is what I did at my wedding and all weddings i've been to - it is so considerate, as you dont have to worry about your kids but they can be at the wedding with you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:34 AM Flag
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oh she is, but there are a lot of kids and she is probably just getting 1 sitter. there will be no sleeping. did kids sleep at your wedding? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:36 AM Flag
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yes, but we had 2 sitters and 2 rooms - one for older kids and one for little ones to sleep [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:38 AM Flag
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where did you have the children sleep? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:43 AM Flag
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in a guest room we reserved for the evening. local friends brough pack&plays and the 3yos slept on beds [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:43 AM Flag
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he could till about 6 or 7. but not for a 7 PM reception start. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:33 AM Flag
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if he cant nap before ceremony maybe he can nap between the ceremony and reception. i find that dd falls asleep in the car when we drive to reception [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:19 AM Flag
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that's what i want to do. but they already hate me and think i'm too schedule oriented with the kids. i know i shouldn't really care what they think. it's just hard to determine if i should put my foot down for this, for a family wedding. i want to but again, not sure if i'm being too hard about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:23 AM Flag
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(woops this was meant reply for the 12:30-2:30 nap suggestion) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:23 AM Flag
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tell them if they don't want a meltdown in the middle of their wedding ceremony, they'll let him nap [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:24 AM Flag
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remember before you had children, that you didn't know why parents wanted their kids on a nap schedule? it doesn't matter what i say, they just won't get the meltdown thing. because they won't be the ones dealing with it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:37 AM Flag
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I would have gotten it before I had children, but that's just me. Actually, I didn't let either of our sisters have their young children at our ceremony because I was afraid of meltdowns [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:39 AM Flag
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me too but they had people travelling in from out of town who have children. so she felt it would be appropriate to invite them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:42 AM Flag
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that's why she has a babysitter... though you might suggest that she get an extra one if there are a LOT of kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:43 AM Flag
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DS would not go down for an early nap when he was RB for my cousin's wedding - he was 3 1/2. I have to say, he did really well and actually managed to stay up until nearly 10pm. Just make sure that there is food for him - that was the one thing that nearly caused a meltdown - we hadn't brough snacks and photos and ceremony took up the bulk of the afternoon and reception was at dinner time and the cocktail food had NOTHING kid-friendly (even for my non-picky eater). We ordered a pizza to the reception because if the kids (there were only 3) had had to wait until dinner, it would have been a disaster. In hindisght I would have brough snacks. But I also would have sent DS back with a sitter at 8pm - if not for him then for ME. Keeping up after a preschooler in 4" heels and a dress was exhausting! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:47 AM Flag
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