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07.21.08, 10:32 AM General Topics
71 replies
I am SO mad at dh! His sister, this weekend, announces that if they have another DD they will be naming her our first choice name (which I have never told anyone so I know it is DH). I have been TTC for over a year, and she is now pg with #2 so I'm sure it will be a girl..... and she said it with this smirk at me like "I know you hate me but there's nothing you can do about it" [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.21.08, 10:32 AM Flag
 

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is this a joke? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:36 AM Flag
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no, I really wish it was. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:36 AM Flag
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i would use the name anyway [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:36 AM Flag
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sure there is, name your dd the same name. No big deal really. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:36 AM Flag
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we can't do that... if I ever do have a dd I wouldn't want her to have the same name as her first cousin [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:36 AM Flag
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why not? Who cares. Fathers, sons have the same first name. Who gives a rip about cousins. Doesn't sound like the families will be spending lots of time togther and chances are, the two children won't even live in the same state as adults. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:41 AM Flag
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what a bitch [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:51 AM Flag
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In many cultures it is quite common for a cousin from each branch of the family to have the same names, usually named after a matriarch or patriach. In my mom's family she has a sister and 3 first cousins with the same name, all the first born girl in each family. They were all around the same age too, the families were close, so they had nicknames that were only used with the extended family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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that's nice, but not part of the family culture here [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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so family traditions have to start somewhere. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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you both have names picked out and neither of you is pregnant? that is weird [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:36 AM Flag
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she is pg. DH and I have been trying for a long time, I have had 2 m/c, the second I lost at 16 weeks, so yes, I have names picked out [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:37 AM Flag
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Spill the name. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:37 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:37 AM Flag
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yes, she does not like me, and has made nasty comments about my not being able to have a baby before. DH admitted that he told her our name choices, and I am sure that she said this to spite me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:39 AM Flag
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maybe she is just yanking your chain, mabye she is a total jerk. Don't give her any more of your time. Let it go. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:42 AM Flag
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I wish I didn't have to see her but we're dealing with a terminally ill father and spending lots of time together [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:42 AM Flag
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That isn't going to last but for so long. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:45 AM Flag
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well, hopefully it will last a long time (he's doing quite well overall but had a setback and was in Hosp this weekend). However, sil/bil live in same city as do dh's parents, so we have to get together a lot (dh doesn't enjoy it either) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:46 AM Flag
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i'm sure she's not choosing the same name, purely out of spite. not that it helps much if you want to use the name. if you truly love it, just use the name anyway. if she is being spiteful, it will be right back in her face. or maybe tell her that you will anyway, even if you're not sure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:39 AM Flag
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so they will have different last names! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:40 AM Flag
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actually they WON'T because for some bizarre reason she has given her first child her maiden name [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:41 AM Flag
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did she keep her name? i kept my name and both our children have it as their last name. they are my children, too, after all! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:43 AM Flag
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i'm sorry, she sounds horrible. you've been through a lot. though it sucks, it's okay for dh to share with his sister the names you'd both been wanting -- the m/cs affected him too, and she's his family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:40 AM Flag
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sure, its ok for him to (even though we both agreed to keep the names private to avoid this sort of thing) but it isn't fair for her to throw it back in OP's face [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:41 AM Flag
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of course it's not okay for the bitch sil to throw it back in her face - i'm jyst saying she shouldn't be mad at her husband. who was also dealing with his own grief [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:50 AM Flag
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I'm mad at dh for telling her the name (which he admitted he did a long time ago), more mad at SIL of course [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:52 AM Flag
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Um, they probably liked the name too and thought of it on their own. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:41 AM Flag
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op - I know that they did not [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:42 AM Flag
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I'd let it go until you are actually pregnant. You might have a boy, and it will be a non issue. don't give her the satisfaction of seeing youa re upset. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:44 AM Flag
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with all due respect, you are overreacting. This is the kind of thing that gets you "SO mad"? jeez. Who knows if she'll have a girl, if she'll use the name, if you'll have a girl. If she does use the name, and your heart is set on that name, then just use it, who cares? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:43 AM Flag
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it is just very annoying,I guess you have to know her to understand [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:44 AM Flag
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You have to try to ignore this, even if she uses the name you wanted. If she truly is doing it just for spite, then you should feel sorry for her as she must have a very sad existence and be very unhappy herself for some reason. And it may be just a coincidence. But, when the time comes for you to name your ds or dd, you may actually prefer a different name, or need a boy's name. I promise you it will be fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:44 AM Flag
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oh yes, she is a very sad person and has some serious issues. However, her attitude toward me makes it incredibly difficult for me to feel sorry for her [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:45 AM Flag
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You don't have to like someone to pity them. People who try to make other people feel bad always hate themselves and she should be pitied. There will always be people like this and you have to know it's their problem. If you want to use the name when the time comes, there's no reason not to -- then it's your problem. But why let her rule your life? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:47 AM Flag
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I don't, but she is a thorn in my side often enouggh [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:48 AM Flag
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I totally understand why you are upset. She is being mean-spirited and you have been going through a really tough time. My advice would be to not worry about it. If, and when, you are pregnant with a dd, pick a new name and move on. If she ever mentions anything about the name she is planning to use, just say casually, "Oh, I really liked that name before, but not so much anymore..." and, of course, don't tell her your new name. If you tell us the name, we can tell you what we think and/or give suggestions of similar types of names. Good luck. It will all work out!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:46 AM Flag
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Thank you for your understanding response. I am just very frustrated right now, coupled with a weekend of NO sleep and dealing with lots of crap from all sides. The name was Beatrice, which I have loved for years, and dh loved it as well. His family is French so we need a name that works in both French and English, and is not ridiculously common [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:48 AM Flag
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That is a pretty name and I could see how it would work in both languages, although it sounds a bit more British to me. What about Lillian or Helene? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:52 AM Flag
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both nice. thanks for your response. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:53 AM Flag
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Also, Sophie is beautiful though it has been popular for a while... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:55 AM Flag
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dh loves Sophie but I nixed it because its too popular. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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true, but not as popular as Sophia and I think it may be lessening a bit in popularity. It really is a classic name, though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:57 AM Flag
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NP -- I love Natalie and Charlotte as french/english names. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:17 PM Flag
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what about: zoe, suzanne, michelle, alexandra, marie, claire? do those work in both languages? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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Genevieve [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:00 AM Flag
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Your DH's sister is a beyatch and I would be furious as well. Beatrice is a pretty name but Im sure that there are other MORE beautiful names out there that will sound right in English and in French- Make sure to pick ANOTHER name and make sure that it blows her baby's name out of the water - Im thinking about naming my daughter Jennifer Eve- that may sound pretty nice in french...another is Marchaline (thats name is going to be very popular this year - I bet.... since Angelina Jolie's baby girls is named Marchaline - and that sounds pretty in french and in English.... DON'T NAME HER BEATRICE - what ever you do - dont name her BEATRICE. gl. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:02 AM Flag
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since when did naming a child become a competitive sport? you don't get to copyright names - that's just life. you people need bigger things to worry about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:09 AM Flag
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why are you worried about, it sounds like you need bigger things to worry about..... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:26 PM Flag
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vivian, lorraine, amelie [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:05 AM Flag
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is the name Seven? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:49 AM Flag
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huh? no. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:50 AM Flag
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Seinfeld reference. George was a big Mickey Mantle fan so he wanted to name his kid, "Seven" (Mantle's jersey number.) He mentions it and someone hears and then uses that name for their kid. George has a fit. It refers to the fact that unless you made up a name, your idea is not unique. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:03 AM Flag
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I have the same name as one of mycousincs and it was never a big deal. She was "big XXXX" and I was "little XXX". Never really thought about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:51 AM Flag
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but how many cousins are there? for us dh only has one sister and I am an only, so if we ever do have a dc we might only have 1, and then there would only be 3 cousins [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:52 AM Flag
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so what? two marys or susies aren't a big deal [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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well, I wouldn't want my child to be known as little mary in the family, but that's just me I guess [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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I'm the one that started this little section - it was actual fun being the little one - never really bothered me and I never even really thoguth about it much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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Also, don't forget that she might not be having a dd, you might not have a dd and you might find another name in the meantime that you like better. I know it's hard, but she is the one who is making the problem and you need to be the bigger person. Good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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I'm trying. I didn't say anything to her, and I asked dh if he'd shared the name very calmly later on [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:56 AM Flag
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There are a total of 7 of us (3 groups of siblings). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:59 AM Flag
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what a bitch! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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I have been on the other side of this although unintentionally, we named our son a name one of my brothers liked but it wasn't due to spite ( I simply didn't remember - we had a premie and had to pick a name in a hurry) but my brother was unhappy about it for a while. I told him he could name his first son, the same after he told me how upset he was but he chose something different. MY SIL thanked me cause the name he wanted didn't go well with their last name, but I did feel badly about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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imo, this is much ado about nothing. she may not have a girl. you may never have a girl. by the time you have a girl, you may have changed your mind. there are so many other things to worry about. plus, if she's as mean spirited as you say she is, she may have no true intention of naming her child this name. you are creating a stressful situation - this is not stressful in and of itself. my dd has the same name as her cousin and no one - absolutely no one - cares. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:07 AM Flag
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You don't get to reserve names. It is that simple. If you honestly think she picked the name for her daughter only to spite you then I have to say, if is not your SIL's sanity I wonder about. If you acknowledge she picked it because she liked it then where is the beef? My suspicion: she told your dh what her name choice was, he knew how crazy you would react, said something stupid and his sister told him to go pound sand. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:15 AM Flag
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For all you know, when you do conceive you may find that you have boys. I think you're getting upset about something that hasn't happened yet. It does sound bitchy of her to do this, but on the other hand my oldest daughter has a common name (Emily) and a cousin with the same name, and it doesn't seem to make any difference. I would wait and see what happens. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 11:23 AM Flag
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I think you should calmly tell her that she knows that was the name you had picked out and she should know that you still intend to use that name. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:18 PM Flag
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But there is no way to know OP would ever actually use it. My BRR had a boys' name she loved, her SIL stole it and she was livid. She ended up having two girls so would never get to use the name anyway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 12:32 PM Flag
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Oh come on....if this were my sil, I'd smirk right back at her and tell her that I am flattered that she likes the name I have chosen so much that she would use it for her own dd. Then I'd add, I guess they'll be two in the family.....it'll be cute to tell my dd that auntie X liked the name I had chosen for her so much that she named her dd that too!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 06:49 PM Flag
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Deep breath and repeat, "I will grow up, I will grow up, I will grow up". [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 06:50 PM Flag
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NP: I find it hard to believe that SIL though up the name Beatrice all on her own. It's not a common name at all, and given the smirk, she certainly intended to rile you up, and has succeeded. Don't give her the pleasure of knowing, and, like other posters have said, select an appropriate name when your child arrives. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.22.08, 12:10 PM Flag
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