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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] In Italy yesterday two young girls, two gypsies, drowned at the beach. Their bodies were pulled up on to the sand and left for an hour while the mortuary arranged to have coffins delivered to pick them up. No one on the beach moved and they all continued sunbathing, reading, applying lotion all within only a few feet of these two dead girls. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:56 AM Flag
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That post is much clearer. If true that is pretty grim. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:57 AM Flag
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Could not imagine no one had heard of this which is why I posted that way, its on cnn if you want to read the story [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:58 AM Flag
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Ugh. This makes me sick. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:07 AM Flag
[ - ] Re: Giftedness. It is a real issue and a very serious one. However, it mostly affects truly gifted people, not the garden variety gifted. The gifted kids most people talk about here will do well in general. The ones that our society should be more aware of is the extremely gifted children who have real and serious issues to deal with in terms of education and their socialization. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:56 AM Flag
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The only thing I know for sure is that most posters on here are definitely NOT gifted. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:01 AM Flag
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The truly gifted people I know (two adults) are brilliant at what they do but they cannot hold down jobs as they are unable to tolerate being in such a limiting environment and having to deal with other people. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:03 AM Flag
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So basically they are gifted at thinking they are better than other people? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:05 AM Flag
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No they just don't like dealing with having to get up in the morning, having to sit at a desk etc. They are both very nice people but like their own company more than being forced into social situations. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:07 AM Flag
[ - ] At what age do you notice some gay tendencies in a little boy? I am nervous my son is going to be gay. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:49 AM Flag
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Some gay men say they knew from a very young age. My 2.7yo walks around in my shoes and carries a purse over his arm. I do not in any way think this means he is gay. Why do you think your ds might be? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:56 AM Flag
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he looks a pretty dresses and says I wish I was a girl, but he plays with boys toys (trains, cars, trucks) I think he likes things that are appealing to the eye, but it worries me. But whenever he says that I tell him not to say stuff like that. it worries me. he is 5. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:59 AM Flag
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this has to be fake. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:00 AM Flag
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OP here! this is not fake!!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:02 AM Flag
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Wondering when you might notice brunette 'tendencies'? Your child's sexuality will reveal itself when he/she becomes sexually active or discusses sexual desires with you. Till then, nothing that is your business here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:09 AM Flag
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Why would you tell him not to say stuff like that? Just say that you are so happy to have a son and that you love who he is. Who knows, maybe he is gay, maybe he is an artist - thus why he is drawn to things that are "appealing to the eye" At any rate, why does it matter? Just love the child you have. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:09 AM Flag
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I do love him, with my heart and soul. But have a gay son would worry me. its just who i am. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:13 AM Flag
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What do you mean by "it's just who I am"? Sounds like that's what you need to worry about and work on. Regardless of whether your child is gay, interested in cross dressing, or straight and interested in only 'men's' clothing, it sounds as though you have a concern that is unhealthy for you and those you love. This is a world full of gay people - our children, relatives, coworkers etc. Being 'worried' about gayness is a problem you could address with self-education or therapy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:20 AM Flag
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You tell him NOT to say stuff like what? that he wishes he were a girl? why not discuss with him rather than cut him off? ask him what it is he thinks he likes about being a girl? what he likes about being a boy, etc. The best part about parenting this age is allowing their voice and their insights- try it - you might be surpised at his responses and feel less "nervous" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:13 AM Flag
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this is the BEST reply. thank you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:17 AM Flag
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You'sd better cut that out! Why would you tell him 'not to say stuff like that'???!!!! The most important thing ever for you as a parent is to encourage open lines of communication. Five year old fantasy and dress up is perfectly, completely, totally normal. Furthermore, cross-dressing and homosexuality are totally different things (lots of straight men cross dress - ever see Eddie Izzard?) Homosexuality is not something you can scold your child out of anyway. It is an inherent trait. Thank God your kid is growing up in a time when most people realize being gay is a normal variant - not an aberration - like left-handedness. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:13 AM Flag
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Gee, not sure what you mean by 'nervous'. My teenaged daughter is gay and nothing about that is nervous-making. Also unclear about what 'noticing some gay tendencies' means? Same-sex affection is normal throughout childhood. Same-sex experimentation is also standard as kids enter puberty. You should buy a copy of "It's Perfectly Normal" and be sure that your child receives from you only messages of love and acceptance. Our daughter came out to us a couple of years ago. I have no idea where she will end up in life but I would no more comment positively or negatively on he sexual identification than I would on any other genetically-determined trait. Would you be 'nervous' about brown eyes? Wondering when you might notice brunette 'tendencies'? Your child's sexuality will be fully revealed when he/she becomes sexually active or when he/she chooses to discuss it with you. Otherwise, nothing for you to be concerned about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:07 AM Flag
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ok - so as a mother, were you disappointed or disturbed by her coming out of the closet? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:20 AM Flag
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Not at all. Why on earth would I be disappointed or disturbed that my daughter trusts me? I hope that she will continue to discuss her intimate feelings with me whenever she wishes. These teen years are tough. Love, as we all know, is elusive and can be painful. I hope to be a trusted confidante for as long as she wants me to be. Love is the least of it. I hope she'll also continue to speak openly with me about all of transitions to adulthood. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:24 AM Flag
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And actually, although I said 'came out' I wouldn't have ever described her as closeted. That implies, to me, concealed sexual activity. She is not sexually active. We have a very open household and have gay friends and relatives. I don't think she ever felt she had to hide anywhere, and besides, we live in nYC so our closet space is severely limited - no room for a big girl! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:26 AM Flag
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50 years ago she might have been headed for a rough road. But today there is not a single door that will be closed to her because of her sexual identity. She can even choose motherhood and marriage if she wishes without having to compromise at all ;) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:31 AM Flag
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Still finding myself disturbed by this mother's "nervousness". Homophobia so pervasive... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.27.08, 09:26 PM Flag
[ - ] What do you think would be a safe industry to be in during an economic downturn? I would say being in higher education is a sure way to keep your job (and your pay and benefits) no matter what happens. There will always be students. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.21.08, 08:49 AM Flag
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Toilet paper manufacturer - people will always need toilet paper. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:59 AM Flag
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Tampon sales rep [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:01 AM Flag
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ITD -- colleges will feel the pain if people can't afford to attend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:02 AM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:04 AM Flag
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As unemployment goes up, so to goes enrollment. The issue at higher ed is charitable contributions go down. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:51 AM Flag
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nah. The higher the unemployment the more folks enroll in programs to enhance or change their careers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:12 AM Flag
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healthcare/pharma - especially a generic pharma company [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:46 AM Flag
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nursing [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:10 AM Flag
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medicine - people get sick (maybe even more so) during difficult times; teaching (primary & secondary) - not affected by most economic downturns; litigation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:15 AM Flag
[ - ] any opinions on the Calypso outlet on Broome? worth the trip in the heat? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.21.08, 08:48 AM Flag
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Not worth it in this heat. Wait until it's cooler to trek. Everything is in card board boxes. Picked over. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:01 AM Flag
[ - ] Shocked by the italian sunbathers. How could anyone read the paper and put on sun lotion right next to the covered bodies of two young girls! 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:38 AM Flag
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here is an idea, don't go if it offends you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:39 AM Flag
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WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT nutso? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:43 AM Flag
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covered bodies? huh? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:42 AM Flag
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you know, not everyone knows where you're coming from. you need to explain your post better and not just assume that people will know what you're talking about [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:50 AM Flag
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No one here reads the paper or cnn? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:54 AM Flag
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no, not everyone lives their lives exactly the way that you do at every given moment [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:38 AM Flag
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I searched for this on NYTimes.com. Nothing. Which paper did you see this in? (I googled it and only found it on cnn.com and fox.com) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:16 AM Flag
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I was shocked as well. What is more disturbing is the spin on why they did nothing, that the girls were gypsies and the italians hate the gypsies and want them out of italy hence their complete disregard for their presence on the beach. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:41 AM Flag
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Always hated gypsies but that their hatred has stooped to this level is tragic [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:05 AM Flag
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I doubt that any of the beach goers knew that there were gypsies under those blankets. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:10 AM Flag
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It's a cultural thing. Why does it bother you? The sunbathers didn't do anything wrong. They just don't shy away from a dead body. So what? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:09 AM Flag
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No that is not the point, an italians do not shy away from dead bodies. God where are you from? It was because the girls were gypsies, it was as if a group of white people ignored black dead bodies because they were black [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:13 AM Flag
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Are you saying that the sunbathers would lift up the blankets to see who's underneath and then sit next to them because they were gypsies? Really? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:17 AM Flag
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no, it was not because they were Roma [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:18 AM Flag
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Once the bodies were covered it was not obvious that there were gypsies under those towels. I think this is blown way out of proportions. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 10:18 AM Flag
[ - ] what would you pay this person: aspiring actress looking to take dance and singing lessons in NYC. Would give room and board in large apt in exchange for 20 hrs of scheduled childcare help and light housekeeping, and 20 hours tbd (#3 on the way, so a bit unsure what the schedule will be at this time). Great location on UWS. She's 26. What should her weekly salary be? She will have the flexibility to take classes almost every day. TIA. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 07.21.08, 08:34 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:46 AM Flag
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This is a good arrangement for her, and a terrible one for you, no matter what you pay her. why hire an actress to take care of your kids and your house, even part-time? Even if she doesn't fit the "all about me" stereotype, I'd want someone with child care experience. She will leave you in the lurch if something better comes along. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:59 AM Flag
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She babysat for us last year. She will make a committment not to audition for 10 mos, and we in turn will make a 10 month committment to her. She is very responsible, and I thought of her because I like her, and she is a known quantity. I am thinking that I will not want so much help 10 months from now, so a temporary situation might be good for all. She is doing a show in TN right now, and she is looking for a way to get back to NYC and work on her craft. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:23 AM Flag
[ - ] what is trisomy 18 nd is it detectable with Amnio 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 07.21.08, 08:21 AM Flag
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chromosomal abnormality, fatal, amnio does detect it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:23 AM Flag
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http://www.trisomy18.org/site/PageServer?pagename=parents_whatisT18 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:30 AM Flag
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You really don't want to know, trust me and spare yourself. And yes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:33 AM Flag
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np: I do - but I love to torture myself with all of the what ifs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:35 AM Flag
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np. There are so many things that 'could' go wrong that you are better not getting too worried about any one thing. Try to think that things will be ok while being realistic and knowing that there is a small chance they might not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:39 AM Flag
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Go nuts then. THere's a real horror show of birth defects you can check out online. Don't miss spina bifida, trisomy 13, and some pics of cleft lips and palates if you really want to see what you're hopefully never ever going to have to deal with. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:23 AM Flag
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nnp: while preaching at np, you might have thought about the fact that there are people other than just you two here. For some of us this is just some freak show. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:43 AM Flag
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^^^not just [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:43 AM Flag
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There are several trisomies. When the chromosomes split, part/all of one does not seperate. So you wind up with three chromosomes not a mated pair. If it happens at the 21st chromosome, it is called Down's Syndrome (the most common trisomy.) At 18 it is called Edward's Syndrome (second most common.) 9/10 of babies with Edwards who make it to birth die in infancy. (My recollection is that the vast majority don't make it to birth.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:40 AM Flag
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OR: did you have a nuchal result which suggested high prob for T18? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:41 AM Flag
[ - ] we have fleas. is it worth the money to have an exterminator come or should we bomb the house ourselves? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:18 AM Flag
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Do you have a pet? How old are your kids? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:20 AM Flag
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we had to put our cat down (not because of the fleas, though.) i have a 6mo, a 2.5 yo, and a 5yo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:22 AM Flag
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I'd call an exterminator--and ask about the child safety of the chemicals, especially with a 6 mo. With older kids, I'd just use the bombs myself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:23 AM Flag
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How long ago did your cat die? I heard they cannot live on humans so maybe they will die off now the cat has gone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:28 AM Flag
[ - ] Can anyone give me insight into Woodmont Day camp? Also, is 45 minutes on the bus too long for a 4 year old? Thanks. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Preschool/Kids 07.21.08, 08:12 AM Flag
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My 4 year old in going to Deerkill Day Camp on the bus and is doing just fine. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:57 AM Flag
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Camp mom here (am an assistant director at a day camp -- not Woodmont): it's a nice camp with great directors. It's a long day and is easy for some DC and hard for others (and without knowing your DC, I can't say what the case would be). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 05:46 PM Flag
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OP: Thank you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 09:32 PM Flag
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Woodmont is an incredible camp. New owners (3 years) very down to earth, warm-nurturing feeling but also great activities, beautiful site. I sent my 4 year old and he was fine but you know your child best. The bus can be fun for them. They are very excited on the way to camp and pass out on the way home [ Reply | More
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General Topics 08.04.08, 01:51 PM Flag
[ - ] Current PS 40 Parents- do you remember when they send out supply list? There is nothing on the website. Have heard from other parents attending other schools that the list is out. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:11 AM Flag
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Not a PS 40 parent, but wow...it's July. I think you'll have time to stock up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:12 AM Flag
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np: no kidding. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:22 AM Flag
[ - ] Real estate mavens: DH is relocating for work in a hurry and we want to put our apt on the market. We were going to move out, do some minor renovations (painting, tiling, etc.), and then show it empty. Is it a mistake to show an apartment unfurnished? 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.21.08, 08:11 AM Flag
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Anyone? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:18 AM Flag
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IMO (not a pro but obsessive about real estate), it's OK to show an apartment empty, but a house looks better with some furniture. Good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:22 AM Flag
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have the realtor takes some photos while you still have furnishing in the apt. then do close-ups of the improvments for the website [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:24 AM Flag
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Ohhh...that sounds like a good idea [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:25 AM Flag
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Thanks--I appreciate the insight. What's your opinion: if we're going to repaint the whole apartment (for sale), should we just do everything white or do something else? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:24 AM Flag
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is there trim on the walls? I think white on white looks too sterile, maybe do a very light neutral throughout with white baseboard/mouldings... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:27 AM Flag
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There is trim. Any favorite neutrals? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:29 AM Flag
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Just do a nice creamy off-white on the walls with clean white semi-gloss trim. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:32 AM Flag
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ITA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:36 AM Flag
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white paint. While it is not terrible to show empty, recognize that apts look bigger with furntiure in them and sellers look a bit more anxious when it is empty. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:28 AM Flag
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Thanks...it's a pretty small, simple apartment to begin with. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:32 AM Flag
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Hmmm... the smaller the rooms, the more important it is to put furniture in there to show how much it holds (within reason of course)... what does your broker say? Will they stage it for you if you're moving your stuff out? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:38 AM Flag
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We don't have a broker yet. Our apartment's at the lower end of the scale...not worth staging, IMO. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:41 AM Flag
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OK, good luck! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:38 AM Flag
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IMO, it is much better to look at space without furniture - a blank slat [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:39 AM Flag
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Really, the furniture issue is not a big deal - the price is 99%. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:25 AM Flag
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I know in empty apts in our building the agents selling the building brought in furniture before showing people around. I'm sure they wouldn't go to that trouble if they didn't think it made a difference. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:34 AM Flag
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Where are you and what are you selling? Looking to buy here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:36 AM Flag
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Cobble Hill: 1 bd + den (nursery)/ 1.5 bath. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:42 AM Flag
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sorry, wrong specs for me. GL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:42 AM Flag
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Thanks--you too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:43 AM Flag
[ - ] Our family wants to rent a house on a lake or beach next summer. We will need a big place, want direct water access and within a (very) short drive or walk to a fun, cute town. Need to be able to get there within a 6 hour drive from NYC. We do NOT have a huge budget. Suggestions for areas to look? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:07 AM Flag
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Lake George [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:09 AM Flag
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I second Lake George. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:14 AM Flag
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Or the Adirondacks - be careful as Lake George is partly very cheesy. I like Long Lake, but the town is small. I like the Jersey shore - Ocean Grove is cute and everything is near town and the beach too. They have concerts. Newport might be another option. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:17 AM Flag
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Long Lake is beautiful. I went to camp there! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:26 AM Flag
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Jersey Shore--look on Long Beach Island. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:14 AM Flag
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you want all of that and don't have a huge budget? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:22 AM Flag
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We've been able to rent large, nice places for the last two summers for less than $4,000 for a week. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:26 AM Flag
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Look at the finger lakes. We rented a gorgeous house on a vineyard, near lake keuka for $800 per week (4 bedrooms. You could go near Ithaca--cute college town, lovely lake. Try vrbo.com [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:35 AM Flag
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I don't think OP is unreasonable. She is throwing in lake options and ocean options. She wants to be able to walk around on her vacation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:27 AM Flag
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Deep Creek Lake Maryland (about 6 hours) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:28 AM Flag
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Cape Cod. Closer to 7-8 hours depending on traffic, but there are some great, big homes and some great towns. Cheaper in June than July/August. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:33 AM Flag
[ - ] Toilet training day 1. Cold turkey! Give me strength! 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:07 AM Flag
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Keep in mind though, it still might not be the right time. Don't be afraid to back off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:15 AM Flag
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Good luck. If dc is ready, you should be good to go in a week. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:36 AM Flag
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