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07.21.08, 08:49 AM General Topics
17 replies
At what age do you notice some gay tendencies in a little boy? I am nervous my son is going to be gay. [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 07.21.08, 08:49 AM Flag
 

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Some gay men say they knew from a very young age. My 2.7yo walks around in my shoes and carries a purse over his arm. I do not in any way think this means he is gay. Why do you think your ds might be? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:56 AM Flag
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he looks a pretty dresses and says I wish I was a girl, but he plays with boys toys (trains, cars, trucks) I think he likes things that are appealing to the eye, but it worries me. But whenever he says that I tell him not to say stuff like that. it worries me. he is 5. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 08:59 AM Flag
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this has to be fake. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:00 AM Flag
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OP here! this is not fake!!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:02 AM Flag
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Wondering when you might notice brunette 'tendencies'? Your child's sexuality will reveal itself when he/she becomes sexually active or discusses sexual desires with you. Till then, nothing that is your business here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:09 AM Flag
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Why would you tell him not to say stuff like that? Just say that you are so happy to have a son and that you love who he is. Who knows, maybe he is gay, maybe he is an artist - thus why he is drawn to things that are "appealing to the eye" At any rate, why does it matter? Just love the child you have. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:09 AM Flag
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I do love him, with my heart and soul. But have a gay son would worry me. its just who i am. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:13 AM Flag
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What do you mean by "it's just who I am"? Sounds like that's what you need to worry about and work on. Regardless of whether your child is gay, interested in cross dressing, or straight and interested in only 'men's' clothing, it sounds as though you have a concern that is unhealthy for you and those you love. This is a world full of gay people - our children, relatives, coworkers etc. Being 'worried' about gayness is a problem you could address with self-education or therapy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:20 AM Flag
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You tell him NOT to say stuff like what? that he wishes he were a girl? why not discuss with him rather than cut him off? ask him what it is he thinks he likes about being a girl? what he likes about being a boy, etc. The best part about parenting this age is allowing their voice and their insights- try it - you might be surpised at his responses and feel less "nervous" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:13 AM Flag
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this is the BEST reply. thank you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:17 AM Flag
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You'sd better cut that out! Why would you tell him 'not to say stuff like that'???!!!! The most important thing ever for you as a parent is to encourage open lines of communication. Five year old fantasy and dress up is perfectly, completely, totally normal. Furthermore, cross-dressing and homosexuality are totally different things (lots of straight men cross dress - ever see Eddie Izzard?) Homosexuality is not something you can scold your child out of anyway. It is an inherent trait. Thank God your kid is growing up in a time when most people realize being gay is a normal variant - not an aberration - like left-handedness. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:13 AM Flag
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Gee, not sure what you mean by 'nervous'. My teenaged daughter is gay and nothing about that is nervous-making. Also unclear about what 'noticing some gay tendencies' means? Same-sex affection is normal throughout childhood. Same-sex experimentation is also standard as kids enter puberty. You should buy a copy of "It's Perfectly Normal" and be sure that your child receives from you only messages of love and acceptance. Our daughter came out to us a couple of years ago. I have no idea where she will end up in life but I would no more comment positively or negatively on he sexual identification than I would on any other genetically-determined trait. Would you be 'nervous' about brown eyes? Wondering when you might notice brunette 'tendencies'? Your child's sexuality will be fully revealed when he/she becomes sexually active or when he/she chooses to discuss it with you. Otherwise, nothing for you to be concerned about. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:07 AM Flag
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ok - so as a mother, were you disappointed or disturbed by her coming out of the closet? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:20 AM Flag
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Not at all. Why on earth would I be disappointed or disturbed that my daughter trusts me? I hope that she will continue to discuss her intimate feelings with me whenever she wishes. These teen years are tough. Love, as we all know, is elusive and can be painful. I hope to be a trusted confidante for as long as she wants me to be. Love is the least of it. I hope she'll also continue to speak openly with me about all of transitions to adulthood. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:24 AM Flag
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And actually, although I said 'came out' I wouldn't have ever described her as closeted. That implies, to me, concealed sexual activity. She is not sexually active. We have a very open household and have gay friends and relatives. I don't think she ever felt she had to hide anywhere, and besides, we live in nYC so our closet space is severely limited - no room for a big girl! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:26 AM Flag
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50 years ago she might have been headed for a rough road. But today there is not a single door that will be closed to her because of her sexual identity. She can even choose motherhood and marriage if she wishes without having to compromise at all ;) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.21.08, 09:31 AM Flag
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Still finding myself disturbed by this mother's "nervousness". Homophobia so pervasive... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.27.08, 09:26 PM Flag
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