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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

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Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Which would you pick: DH keeps current job/salary but has lots of time at home, or DH gets promotion at double his salary, but is never home while dcs are awake during the week? 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:46 PM Flag
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latter [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:47 PM Flag
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depends; how are you doing financially w/current salary? my dh is never home when kids are awake during the week. it sucks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:47 PM Flag
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You have a chance of being solvent when it's hard for him to get work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:55 PM Flag
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As one w/ a dh who is never home while dcs are awake I can tell you it really puts a strain on the family - plus he works often on weekends too. That said, it would also be a strain if he made less money so you really can't win. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:48 PM Flag
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depends on your financial picture. if you are comfortable and able to save on current salary, i'd opt to have dh around. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:48 PM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:49 PM Flag
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the first. we have little money but a high quality of family because dh is home for lunch each day and usually works 10-5:30 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:49 PM Flag
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^family time, not "high quality of family"...though I like to think we have a high quality of family as well [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:50 PM Flag
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will doubling his salary improve your current lifestyle? move to a better neighborhood, better schools for dcs, or allow you to sahm if you choose? it really depends on what is impt to you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:49 PM Flag
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It depends on your age. We elected the "DH is never home strategy" i'm glad we did because we saved a lot of money. DH is now a bit over 50 and unemployed. we have a close family and no money worries becasue we saved for the rainy day. Believe me it does rain. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:51 PM Flag
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^^ Ialso worked for 20 yrs with dcs so we put away enough to be independent. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:53 PM Flag
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depends what you prefer. My dh works a lot and makes enough so that I can stay home with db. Otherwise, we'd both be working and in NYC you work a lot of hours no matter what you get paid! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:52 PM Flag
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Time at home, no question. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:52 PM Flag
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you have no concept of the future. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:54 PM Flag
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No, I'm coming from the perspective of having lived w/a dh who's not home enough and doing all the child care myself, and we are now divorcing partly b/c of this lifestyle. I would choose a man who is home more over one who makes more money any day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:56 PM Flag
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DH and I were a "team" (ew did I say that?) he worked massive hrs and traveled while he had the chance to make big money. i worked until 6 and limited my travel because while [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:06 PM Flag
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^^ I wanted a career - I wanted to be with my dcs too. It worked very well and we were happy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:07 PM Flag
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It really is "to each his own," some women would be perfectly happy with my dh and his work schedule; it just hasn't been good for me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:08 PM Flag
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gl to you I hope you find the right man - you sound like a wonderful person and mother. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:48 PM Flag
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BTDT - you adjust. DH's new salary means that I can stay home for the forseeable future instead of going back to work as soon as DD starts school full-time in Sept. But, it also means that he travels at least one week a month. When he is in town, he never gets home before she goes to bed at night, but she is an early riser and they usually have breakfast together before they wake me up (around 7am). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:53 PM Flag
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option 1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:53 PM Flag
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If those are the only choices, then, time at home. Ideally, he would make at least 50% more and WOH instead of WAH, but with little change in hours. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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Double [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.17, 04:50 AM Flag
[ - ] I would like another db however, I have 2 dbs of the same gender and although I love them more than life, I can not imagine having another of the same sex. Our house would be way to skewed with this one particular gender...oh, my goodness. What do you do? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 05.21.08, 05:46 PM Flag
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honestly, i would adopt if i wanted one gender over another or do that sperm spinning thing.. i desperately wanted a DD after I had my DS and found out that the DD you dream of might not be the DD you get. i think my 2yo DD is more masculine than my 6 yo DS. anyhow, just some food for thought. good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:48 PM Flag
[ - ] how are you spending memorial day weekend? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 05.21.08, 05:46 PM Flag
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at niece's bday party, tahari sample sale, and not much else... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:46 PM Flag
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family and friend lunches sat/sun, keeping fingers crossed for beach on monday [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:48 PM Flag
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on the boat (small boat) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:50 PM Flag
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Amagansett [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:50 PM Flag
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rehearsal dinner at crispo and wedding at botanical gardens - sunday recovering [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:51 PM Flag
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I've decided on a mental-health day. Dh will watch the kids on Monday. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:53 PM Flag
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will be packing and moving things [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:55 PM Flag
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where u moving to? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:03 PM Flag
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westchester [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:06 PM Flag
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dh keeps asking me that. i told him he's free to take the kids whereever he wants, as lons as I can stay here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:08 PM Flag
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Asleep. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.17, 04:46 AM Flag
[ - ] I rear-ended a girl last month & she just got an estimate to me. It will be $1k. I didn't want to involve insurance, but she has a junky car so I definitely think she will be pocketing this $. WWYD? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:45 PM Flag
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tell her it's a lot and you think you need to file an insurance claim -- see what she says... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:46 PM Flag
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np: do you actually not think it was $1k? It costs close to that just to replace the bumper. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:49 PM Flag
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That will teach her for being nice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:55 PM Flag
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Give her what the estimate says and be glad. Who cares what she does with the money? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:47 PM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:48 PM Flag
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ita- you hit her 'junky car' after all [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:58 PM Flag
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tell her to file with her insurance co. if its a junky car she probably doesnt have collision. dont pay her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:47 PM Flag
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But it is my fault...I rear ended her! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:48 PM Flag
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I missed the part where you rear-ended. you are at fault so either pay or file with your insurance - but probably not worth the increased premiums to file. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:48 PM Flag
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the person who does the rear ending (OP) is always at fault. OP will ahve to notify her insurance. OPs rates/premiums will go up. It has nothing to do with the insurance coverage of the person who got hit... -mom who used to have a junky car that got rear ended. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:49 PM Flag
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settle with her for less OR tell her you will give certified check for amount made out to car repair place. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:56 PM Flag
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GREAT idea! Best suggestion! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:03 PM Flag
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I think what OP may be trying to say is how can she differentiate between what damage OP caused and pre-existing damage. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:03 PM Flag
[ - ] Considering taking 2yo ds to tour ship during Fleet Week. Any BTDT? Was it do-able or a nightmare? And how do you get to Pier 90 w/o stroller or carseat? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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isnt 2 a little too young? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:43 PM Flag
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May be on the young side, but he was totally excited to see the pics of the boats online, and it was something to do this weekend. Playing tourist. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:44 PM Flag
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seriously, take the circle line -- it's a fun thing to do with kids... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:47 PM Flag
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That was the other thing under consideration. Just seemed like a good time to take advantage of Fleet Week. But guess I need to reconsider based on his age (I know they don't allow strollers). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:48 PM Flag
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can't you take a boat? that's what we do with our kids... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:44 PM Flag
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2 y/o is too young. These are fully operational warships and far from child-friendly. I wouldn't take a DC younger than 4 or 5 y/o. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:45 PM Flag
[ - ] Who is right? We're in early planning for bar mitzvah. My extended family is much larger than dh's extended family. My MIL wants to invite many more friends since "my side" has more people. I'm fine with her inviting friends that we know and know our dc, but don't want to invite FIL's poker buddies who we've never met. What do you think? 16 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 05.21.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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thats stupid of her, whay does it have to be equal? is she paying for it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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who's paying? if you're the host, you should determine who gets to come and who doesn't. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:43 PM Flag
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We're paying, but I want to maintain good relations (generally like her). Sometimes she aggravates me so much that I can't tell who is in the right. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:43 PM Flag
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i like the other poster's idea of giving mil a set number. makes sense... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:44 PM Flag
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ITA. if its her affair then fine. If its YOUR affair, you draw the line. Too bad that the sides arent even. My parents sides are WAY out of wack and Gma never invited anyone! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:44 PM Flag
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will his poker buddies bring good gifts? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:43 PM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:44 PM Flag
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give her a fixed number of people she can invite. it's your event, not hers; people ds doesn't even know, and you don't know, don't really belong imo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:44 PM Flag
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np: ITA. It's not an opportunity for your parents/in laws to invite whoever they want. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:44 PM Flag
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ita. it's not your wedding...its your kid's bar mitzvah..invite YOUR friends...grandparents friends are so far removed... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:46 PM Flag
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That's what I thought, but dh wasn't sure. I think only people who know dc should be invited. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:47 PM Flag
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np: I'd only invite your friends and people that actually play a part in dc's life. If they don't know IL's friends other than slightly, I wouldn't invite them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:48 PM Flag
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ITA. It's not a wedding. Grandparents don't get to invite their friends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:56 PM Flag
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ditto. honestly it's just bs. it's not a wedding...it's the bar mitzvah. you're in charge. it's your kid. the grandparents had their chance w/ their kids. (yes, had a similar situation and i still get annoyed.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:06 PM Flag
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My mil would want to do the same. It's not her event to invite people to. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:47 PM Flag
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I would invite the poker buddies since I can't imagine this represents more than a few people. if dh's family is so small, it would be nice. Not sure why everyone is getting so indignant about the idea. these are the people dh's parents are close to. btw, how many guests total? if many, then why not. if its a very small affair , then no. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:53 PM Flag
[ - ] Who has parents / in-laws who are using their wills as leverage / threats? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:41 PM Flag
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my father did and it drove all of his children away. very sad... now, we're all grown and he has no leverage because we don't need his money... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:43 PM Flag
[ - ] ok need advice. I have a friend who seems to have dumped me. I have done what I could to keep the communication channels open but she has not responded. So far I have just donethings like send b day cards and an occasional email. I'm thinking about calling her though. I think after knowing her for 25 years, she owes me an explanation. I am just going to call and act like everything is fine. thoughts? 22 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:40 PM Flag
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good idea. maybe something is up and she doesnt have time or cant bring herself to spill to you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:41 PM Flag
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Just call. Who knows what's going on in her life right now. Don't assume anything. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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thanks. This has been going on for a couple of years now. Definitely getting the feeling she is upset about something but no idea what [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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Give her the benefit of the doubt. That's being a good friend... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:49 PM Flag
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thx [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:51 PM Flag
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my college roommate did this to me -- we had a lot of history and i can't figure out why she dropped me. but in the end, if she doesn't have the common courtesy to acknowledge your emails, i wouldn't bother calling her... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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that's what I have thought but it is bugging me and I miss her. I just think I will call and make her tell me what I did or said or whatever. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:43 PM Flag
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tell us how you make out. but if it has been a couple of years, she definitely doesn't want you in her life. i'd cut your losses and leave with some dignity in tact -- that's what my therapist told me.. sorry... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:45 PM Flag
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np - I'm the poster below with the same experience. It's very hard advice to follow but ita. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:48 PM Flag
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maybe but our families are still fiends and it's just damn awkward. SHe was more like a sister than a friend years ago. I don't feel the need to be that close again but I'd like to be able to call and say "remember that time..." or congratulate her on her new nephew etc. Just a civil superficial relationship would be ok. I just really hate feeling cut off and having no idea why [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:48 PM Flag
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just call her and see. one last ditch effort can't hurt anyone but you i guess [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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thanks. I'm tough. I can handle it. It's the not knowing that is hard to live with [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:49 PM Flag
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happened to me, after a year, suddenly she called. you never know what goes on in people's lives, may have nothing to do with you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:45 PM Flag
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This is so strange - the same thing is happenning to me. I actually tracked my "friend" of 20 yrs down through her dh and we went to lunch had a great time and e mailed like crazy for about 6 months. i really love this friend and was so happy. Suddenly she dropped me - I e mailed, I left her a vm on her b'day - nothing!. I am very leery of trackingher down because she obviously has a problem with me or her own set of issues. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:45 PM Flag
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^^^I aplogize for the all about me response - yes it's worth a try. It's very hard to make new friends so go for it. gl [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:46 PM Flag
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no apology needed. That's what I was looking for really. BTDTs [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:47 PM Flag
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I had a friend like this. I finally confronted her and she told what I had done. We never became friends again, but at least I know why the friendship ended. It was still painful though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:45 PM Flag
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that's what I mean. If I have done or said something, I would really like to know. Then it will feel settled. Right now I just feel in limbo. I think of her often and want to call but have been afraid. Screw it. I think I'm going to just call [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:46 PM Flag
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I'd call but if this has been going on for a couple of years I wouldn't just act like everything is fine. Find out what's going on and then you'll know whether the friendship is worth your continued effort or not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:49 PM Flag
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maybe. I thought I'd just call and say something about how much I miss her and wondered how she was etc. Not a big confrontation but I would like to at least be civil and be able to call when I think of her. We grew up together and have a history. I really miss her [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:51 PM Flag
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I'd tell her exactly that--that you are wondering how she is and that you miss her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:52 PM Flag
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thx. I will [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:52 PM Flag
[ - ] Need good travel toy ideas for 2-1/2 yo for a looooong international flight. Suggestions? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:39 PM Flag
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magnadoodle is great. I also once found a ball on a long elastic that had wrist band at the other end that kept DS entertained for a long time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:41 PM Flag
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small magadoodle, felt friends, crayon color wonders, the flash cards that are on a ring, tons of snacks, books [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:41 PM Flag
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I didn't know there are crayon color wonders! Great! :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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crayola -- or get the flip top markers... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:01 PM Flag
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calculator. wikki stix. sticker books. pushpops. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:41 PM Flag
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portable dvd, sticker books, apple/bagels/other things that take a lot of time to consume, a wing and a prayer. GL! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:41 PM Flag
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silly putty, magnetic play scenes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:41 PM Flag
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iphone on airplane mode filled with downloaded favorite videos via itunes. crayons + coloring books. new books that will hold his/her interest. my ds still loves those "rollercoasters" with the wires and beads. We have a little travel size one we picked up in Europe. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:41 PM Flag
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^^and yes - small magnadoodle - couldn't remember the name... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:43 PM Flag
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post its, a small spiralbound sketch or notebook, a little art kit (ours has crayons, watercolors and cray-pays), stickers, new and old books, snacks that you don't usually get and dvds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:42 PM Flag
[ - ] I'm freezing! what's up with this weather? where is spring?? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:39 PM Flag
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tell me about it. DS #3 has no clothes!! I have TONS of stuff from first two - June and April, now this, much bigger, April baby has nothing nice to wear - and I cant see mself buying clothes that I have nowhere to put! Come on nice weather we need you!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:43 PM Flag
[ - ] So confused and could use some clear headed advice. DH's job was relocated- 4 hrs away. We have been trying the commuting thing and its just too hard on us and the kids. So we decided to move. Dont want to buy because we will likely be back in 2 yrs. Very few rentals in the new area. One finally came up in the town we love- great schools, great town, 2 dcs got in a great preschool there, close commute for dh. Problem - house is small. Much smaller than what we are used to. Its not like we are buying it, and its temporary. Tell me its better to be there than go further from his work (schools and town not as great...) for a bigger house. 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:39 PM Flag
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exactly. just get storage [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:40 PM Flag
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you are me...2nd year in the much smaller rental home. Its not that bad--because I know we will go back (I rented out my othet house to great tenants) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:40 PM Flag
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really? thats our plan to - to rent our house. I hate the idea of leaving, but can do it knowing we are coming home. Does it help your kids to know they are going home, or does a second move bother them/you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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its been a WILD experience. Our case is a bit different. We moved to Miami from NY. Big culture shock, but really cool experience. We visit our old house all the time (christmas, summer) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:44 PM Flag
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^^^the best part is dh has a very short commute now---I see him for lunch sometimes. In NY he left at 5:30am and did not get back until after dinner [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:47 PM Flag
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thats cool. thanks for the input. We've moved a lot and Im so over it, but we need to be together...thanks again. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:50 PM Flag
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yes, it's better to have the small house and shorter commute. Sounds like your kids are young. It'll be over and you'll be back before you know it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:41 PM Flag
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you know the answer to this. live close enjoy each other. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:43 PM Flag
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I'd go with the shorter commute! 2 years is a very short time, and if you decide to stay, 2 years is enough time to find a bigger house in town that you would like to buy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:44 PM Flag
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you'll be fine in the smaller house. And now that its getting nice they will be outside more than inside. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:46 PM Flag
[ - ] Give me advice on holding a bris. pg with my first...8 days later seems so crazy to have a party. 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 05.21.08, 05:39 PM Flag
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It's not really a party. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:40 PM Flag
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you know what i mean. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:41 PM Flag
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it's not a party, really. keep it simple. don't do it at home. oh, and after you call your parents from the hospital, call the mohel. whatever time of day or night. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:40 PM Flag
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I disagree; of course do it at home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:41 PM Flag
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you want people hanging around your apt? you want to worry about cleaning? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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really, don't do it at home...thought it would be nice to have it at home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:41 PM Flag
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^^meant really don't do it at home? as a question not a statement [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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do it at home. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:43 PM Flag
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what time of day? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:43 PM Flag
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Depends if it's during the week or on a weekend. During the week I'd say early morning or early evening. Weekend - any time is good. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:47 PM Flag
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you almost always have a bris first thing in the morning. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:50 PM Flag
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Moyel's book up really quickly, so people have a bris whenever they can get a moyel. Agreed that people tend to prefer morning. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:54 PM Flag
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We had ours in the afternoon both times. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:54 PM Flag
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you will not be up to hosting an event at home unless you are married to the sort of man who will completely manage the event from start to finish, including cleaning, setting up, and kicking people out who won't leave. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:45 PM Flag
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np: every one I've ever been to is at home. I'd do it at home or at IL's home and make it really small. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:46 PM Flag
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Make sure you have a good friend there. My son's bris was very hard on me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:47 PM Flag
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me too! hardest part, imo, of being a jew is circumsizing your son. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:48 PM Flag
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we did it at in-laws who live nearby - perfect middle ground, not my home, but still family/private. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:47 PM Flag
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Do you have family to help? We did it at home, my mom did everything. Still a very stressful day, but then it's over. GL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:50 PM Flag
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dh is actually really good about helping out. we're also thinking of asking our cleaning lady to help out that day and see if she has a friend too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:52 PM Flag
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The "party" itself wasn't that stressful - just have bagels, etc. and people really don't expect much from you, the mom. Just the whole ceremony and you're so hormonal, etc. But then it's over. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:54 PM Flag
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well, you could also always do it the ultra-modern, ultra-reform way as we did: the pediatrician does it early in the morning you're leaving the hospital while you're still asleep. i gather that you're not considering that option but it does mean you don't need to entertain [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:51 PM Flag
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im ultra reform and never heard of anyone doing this [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:54 PM Flag
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yeah...can't do that, both my mil and mom would go crazy...and i like the idea of having a little gathering...especially since i'm not having a shower. now talk to me the day of and i might be singing a different tune. =) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:55 PM Flag
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I'm not Jewish but dh is and we had a bris on day 8 in our home. I didn't want to be anywhere else (with 1st db)...also, it's not my custom and it seemed so weird to have a 'party' around chopping db's foreskin off. I sort of hovered in the back room nursing db before and after and he napped for most of the 'gathering'. Also since it was my 1st db I didn't want to be passing him around...I was an emotional crazy basket case back then [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:01 PM Flag
[ - ] So proud of dd. she's normally shy and "nerdy" (her opinion, not mine). and she had to do a "performance" as someone else. and she chose someone who was totally out there in terms of being sexy and dressing to show off their curves, something on a daily basis, she studiously tries to hide. She got great feedback, from teacher and other students. so great 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Teenagers 05.21.08, 05:38 PM Flag
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huh? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:39 PM Flag
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they had a project called "rock star." they had to choose someone to impersonate, essentially, but it was performed before the whole school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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ah. cool! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:43 PM Flag
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i am going to assume that she isn't in the 2nd grade ;) it's nice to see people step outside of their comfort zone. (np) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:44 PM Flag
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no, not is 2nd grade. that's why I posted to "teenagers" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:46 PM Flag
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you actually posted to general NY board too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:52 PM Flag
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and teenagers...personally I hate the multiple board posting option [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:05 PM Flag
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btdt. I hope her take-away is that it's *all* posing, and she can choose to "be" (ie, play the role of) whomever she wants whenever she wants, not that it's somehow more desirable to be "sexy" over "nerdy", kwim? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:49 PM Flag
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I do kwym. she chose this particular performer to "impersonate" because she like them as a performer and she was really surprised that people found her "sexy." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:59 PM Flag
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you are proud of this? huh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:51 PM Flag
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yes. I'm not not ashamed to say that I am, because she's a beautiful girl but "cursed" with womanly figure. She dresses for school with really oversize clothes, is very self-conscious of her shape. But with this choice, she just put herself out there. And the wonderful thing is that she got major positive feedback from her teacher and from fellow students. Kids told her best friend "I had no idea she was so hot!" For a 15yo with body image problems, I think this is major. fwiw she's an honor roll student. it's not like trying to be hot is a focus [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:04 PM Flag
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interesting and kinda sad. As a social commentary. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:05 PM Flag
[ - ] Do you believe "what comes around goes around"? I call it karma- you do something bad, something bad will happen, a lie will always catch up with you (so don't lie, etc). Lately some unfair things have happened and I just want justice. Your thoughts? 24 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:37 PM Flag
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You have to let go and trust that justice will happen, sooner or later. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:38 PM Flag
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This does not happen unfortunatemy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.25.17, 04:47 AM Flag
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OMG..is the concept of karma something you just found out about? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:38 PM Flag
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I didn't say I just discovered karma [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:39 PM Flag
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you sounded like someone who never heard of it before [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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np- lol, I was thinking the same thing. Why the need to define it for us OP?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:40 PM Flag
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"I call it Karma..." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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i call it ...fu [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:43 PM Flag
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see.. this is why you are having some problems (np) you sound angry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:44 PM Flag
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wow--maybe bad things are happening because you are angry [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:46 PM Flag
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yes I believe what comes around goes around [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:38 PM Flag
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I think most people know what karma means [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:38 PM Flag
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to some extent yes. People who are not nice to other people tend to end up unhappy etc. But bad things happen to anyone and everyone [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:38 PM Flag
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I do believe this. WHich isn't great news for me, I wasn't putting out too much goodness in my 20s. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:39 PM Flag
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One would hope so. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:39 PM Flag
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JOB? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:39 PM Flag
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i had total kharma bite me in the butt -- a woman sent her twins to DS's bday party with a check that bounced --i didn't say anything but i was surprised and told DH. well, my check for the country club bounced -- we had enough in the account but it was a bank error -- and VERY embarrassing... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:40 PM Flag
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you know those are not related don't you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:41 PM Flag
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well, I think she's saying that she was kind of laughing at the mom of twins who's check bounced only to have it happen to her- when it's not as funny [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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interesting, maybe the twin's parents had $$ in their account too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:44 PM Flag
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wait, a check for a kid's bday present?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:41 PM Flag
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Oh-MY-GAWD [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:41 PM Flag
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if it is good enough for Earl Hickey, it is good enough for me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:41 PM Flag
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An old co-worker had some really bad karma and my SIL is having some too. They weren't very kind to me. I never wish anything bad upon anyone, I feel guilty for the things that happened actually and for even thinking it could be karma. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 05:42 PM Flag
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