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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] How early can you test for pg? I'm about 6 days away from period. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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wait at least 3 more days [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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I've had a + 7 dpo, but it's rare. 9 or 10 dpo is more likely [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:27 PM Flag
[ - ] Obama gonna take away my suv? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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yep, and make you pay 50% tax [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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arrrghh [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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And make sweet sweet love to your women. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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LOL! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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lets hope [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:23 PM Flag
[ - ] Saw the funniest skit on Sesame Street this morning - game show "Meal or No Meal" hosted by a puppet that looked & acted like Howie Mandel down to the little beard thingie & he backed off when contestant muppet tried to hug him. Hilarious! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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Mandel has ocd [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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yes, I know - I was surprised they satirized that [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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that is suprising. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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yeah that was funny [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:33 PM Flag
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I saw that too. Hilarious. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:34 PM Flag
[ - ] where do you live and what about being thankful for what you have.. . . 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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i live in NJ and i'm thankful that my DH works 10 min away from home and is home by 5:30 pm everyday. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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Westchester, thanks for my little garden, chirpin birds and fab neighbors. Thanks for my 30 min commute to Manhattan. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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austin and have nothing but gratitude for all the good and bad that comes my way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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in nj and thankful for healthy happy family [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:25 PM Flag
[ - ] Just took pregnancy test - cannot believe it's positive. One time without protection. This will be #2. I want another but just feel so not ready right yet- financially or otherwise. 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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congrats... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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thanks but i'm not feeling happy about it. i hope that changes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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same thing happened to me -- wasn't happy about it and then lost the baby at 12 weeks -- talk about guilt... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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really? i feel badly almost wishing for something like that. it's terrible. had you started to feel happy about it before 12 weeks? did you get pregnant again or was that recent? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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i kept flipping back and forth -- being ok with it then not wanting the baby at all, then kharma bit me on the a$$ -- had another loss and secondary infertility -- that was not fun. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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oh, i'm sorry about that. that is definitely rough. i had infertility the first time - it took me a year and a half to get pregnant, with IUI. Which is partly why I'm shocked I got pregnant this time from one time w/o protection. I hope if you are trying again that things do work out for you the way you want. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:28 PM Flag
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You'll make it work! Look at the bright side, #1 will have a little bro/sis, Congrats! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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Thank you. I appreciate the kind words. I don't know what I'm looking for here but it is nice to hear something like that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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This was me about 5 months ago. I wasn't excited in the least until the 20 wk ultrasound. Feel much better now. Congratulations! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:27 PM Flag
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Really? I'm glad to hear that. I'm just very nervous about having 2 -- I feel like I finally got 1 under control and have been enjoying it and now things are getting shaken up again. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:29 PM Flag
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I saw the age difference below - I don't think it will be too bad at all. Mine are about that far apart and the older one is actually helpful. Now this one I'm having will only be 18 mos younger and I'm freaking! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:34 PM Flag
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You are making me feel a lot better--thank you. My dd actually does like dolls and babies so hopefully she will be helpful. I just feel like it is going to be such a balancing act (I work fulltime too) that I am not ready to take on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:36 PM Flag
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How old is your dc? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:29 PM Flag
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Will be 3 in August. So they'll be 3 1/2 yrs apart. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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that's a great age difference. I thought your 1st was under 1 year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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yep, that was me...10mos pp, hadn't even had a period yet...but pg i was! it's two years later now, and we are totally fine, and i of course could not even begin to imagine life without #2...gl and congrats!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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this was me. Had a ds, fell madly in love with him and the rest is history. It isn't always easy, but it is so worth it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:30 PM Flag
[ - ] Do you know of any total losers who were mercilously teased in school who grew up to be beauties or total successes? 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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you mean like concave chests, stringy hair, braces and thick glasses? why yes, that was me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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I was sort of - with red hair, freckles, short - now red hair is so hot but not when I was young - but I was thinking more of the really pathetic ones - I so want those girls to be rockin' now [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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my dh was such a audio/video nerd. so hot and successful now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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isn't it how it normally goes? The bullies in school ended up being the losers, and the bullied are the succesful and beautiful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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I think that's how we WANT it to be - not how it really is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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no, but I know of one horrible bully who dies in a freak rollerblading accident at 15 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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me. I'm still scarred. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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I hear you - yrs of therapy & the taunts are still in my head [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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me! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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kim basinger [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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I don't believe when gorgeous celebs say they were dorks. they just want to seem like regular people. it's all a lie [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:27 PM Flag
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there was one horribly dumpy and blah girl in our class. but she was smart. did great in college, went to law school, lost weight, dyed her hair blond. she had the last laugh and it made me so happy to see it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:30 PM Flag
[ - ] It's like a ghost town around here. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 05.21.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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new format killed the conversation [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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yes it did [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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ditching this for yoube [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:23 PM Flag
[ - ] ok 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:17 PM Flag
[ - ] When dh picks up his briefcase db says "Bye bye!" When I pick up my purse, db runs to the front door. Sigh. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 05.21.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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awe! there is no one like mommy! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:17 PM Flag
[ - ] anyone hear of the program yr baby can read/ 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 05.21.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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Read about it in Parenting Inc. (wasn't favorable) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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Babies don't need to read ..focus on movement activities for appropriate brain development [ Reply | More
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General Topics 01.18.17, 01:33 AM Flag
[ - ] I would rather have him spend more time at home with me and ds 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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ittta [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:17 PM Flag
[ - ] who sings the song "hallelujah" that jason castro sang? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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Is it the one that was in Shrek? If so, Rufus Wainwright. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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many people have covered this song. Check out Gordon Lightfoot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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Probably was the Leonard Cohen song. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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Leonard Cohen - and the Jeff Buckley version is beautiful. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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don't forget jeff buckly [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:18 PM Flag
[ - ] my 19 year old nephews, (twins), are staying with us while taking summer classes. My SIL gave me 500.00 when she dropped them off. I said, no way. they will only be here for six weeks. We don't need this money. She looked at me and said, you don't know how these boys eat. Take this money. But food. lots of it. They are both 6 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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so, have they been eating a lot? my kids are young and they eat me out of house and home? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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OP: oh. my. god. I've never seen anything like it. And I can tell they are trying to be polite and not eat as much as they want to. Even though I encourage them too. They are amazing to watch. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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^^6 Feet, 4 inches. 235 lbs. And I am in awe of how they eat. She was right. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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big, strapping boys! do you have a lot of boy "snacking foods" in the house or are you trying to stay healthy? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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OP: I feel bad. I started out with healthy stuff. Carrots and hummus and quinoa and just more of our usual organic healthy stuff. But that had to go out of the window. These boys are eating Ramen noodles by the case and big huge boxes of Honey Smacks. And frozen pizzas. And other such stuff. Yum! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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Do you have a costco nearby? frozen lasagna! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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OP: yes, I'm going to go there this weekend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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LOL -- too funny!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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I'm guessing she was right and you wish you'd taken the money. I'm terrified of what our food bills will look like when our kids are teenagers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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OP: It's amazing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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plus remember food is a sub. for sex! feed them a lot! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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For some reason I think this post is cute! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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LOL. My 6'4" brother was the exact same way in HS and college. He ate 5 full meals a day, every day. Breakfast, lunch, 2nd lunch before football/lacrosse practice, dinner, late night "snack" and between meal snacks. He was a bottomless pit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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OP: yes! this is the twins. Breakfast, two lunches, dinner and between meal. And then, in the middle of then night... I hear the rustling of cereal boxes... lol. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:34 PM Flag
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That was when my brother learned to cook. Cereal wasn't enough and Mom wasn't going to make him a meal at 10pm. He started with simple stuff like grilled cheese and went from there - he now does all the cooking for his family and is a great cook. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:45 PM Flag
[ - ] dd started walking at 11 months, so why does she still fall? trip? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 05.21.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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because she's still learning [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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my dd is five years old and still falls down, slips etc.. they are little and their minds move faster than their legs. pack some band aids in your stroller. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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they are also growing quickly - their toes don't end in the same place every day and the first week or so after buying new shoes are always prime times for trips and falls. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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is this a serious question? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:16 PM Flag
[ - ] when does your milk come in during your pregnancy--about what week? 15 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 05.21.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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It comes in within a few days postpartum. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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your milk comes in a few days after birth, but you might start leaking colostrum in the last few months [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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not sure, m/c at around 21 weeks and it came in. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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my OB said anytime from week 14 on that can happen. very sorry for your loss [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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few days after delivery for most women, some have a little leaking before [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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it comes in about 3 days after the birth. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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a few days after you give birth [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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i am 30 wks and leaking something..what is this? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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colostrum, same stuff db eats the first few days [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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doesnt that seems early? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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well I can't think of anything else it could be. If you're worried talk to your doc [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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np: no, normal, but ask your ob if you are concerned [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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colostrum [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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I started leaking a bit when I was 7 mo pregnant. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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You know, I'm probably the only one who didn't really feel or notice it suddenly coming in. No engorgement issues. I just bf-ed from day 1, and slowly but surely, there was more milk. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:36 PM Flag
[ - ] I am feeling despondent - we can't afford anything, much less another db, all my friends have or are having a 3rd and say I"ll regret not doing it --- why does this bother me? 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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do you have one or two? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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two. And - now this is going to sound awful - I am so frustrated w/DH and his job situation - is 45 yo and making 200 k. (not in NYC) - all our friends are able to take vacations, redo their homes, etc. - not us.....gets so depressing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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Hello? We live in NYC and our combined HHC is not even close to 200K. We take vacations. Where is your money going? Plus if you have 2 you can afford 3. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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we live in Atlanta, and NOT in a good public school system. We have to do private - and we do a church one, so sending two is only 15k combined, but still.....also, since DH is self employed we have to self insure - 1000k a month. SUCKS! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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school and insurance still isn't enough to eat up $200K. does DH have a gambling problem? the money has to be going somewhere... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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no, he doesn't. We pay 1000k a month for ins, plus we have to pay out of pocket for all medical expenses - rx, doc visits, etc. til we reach 3500 - then stuff begins to be covered. lets say that is 15k a year and school is 15k a year, that is 30k after taxes - [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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oh and don't forget our damn dental bills- we each have had a crown and root canal this year. argh [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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it sounds like a third might not be a great idea. if you're not in NYC and you're making 200k, you should be doing ok unless you spend unwisely or have big medical expenses, etc... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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the med thing is huge for us, see above. Plus, maternity isn't covered b/c we are f*ing self insured, so we'd have to pay out of pocket for that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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i'm thinking your dh is probably more frustrated with you, comparing him constantly to other's dhs....anyway 200K should allow for vacations, and as far as having a 3rd, ppl have them on much less than that [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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why do I do this then? is it b/c I go to everyone elses houses, see their cars, etc? btw, these are all ppl he went to grad school w/who are making lots and lots more than he is, hard not to compare.....still, I know its wrong. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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Do you actually KNOW they make a lot of money or are you assuming it by their lifestyle. It's easy to look like you have money even when you don't, KWIM? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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eh seem to - don't think living beyond means but who really knows? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:25 PM Flag
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that's totally my point... who really knows what goes on behind closed doors [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:33 PM Flag
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If all your friends jumped off a cliff would you do it, too? Doesn't make sense to me but then again, I haven't ever been one prone to peer pressure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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why am I then??? Is it b/c I'm insecure? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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insecure, definitely...but also you sound like the snob, that has no reason to be a snob [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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a snob? what do you mean? I don't buy exp. clothes, drive a 9 yr old car, don't get my hair done EVER or do mani/pedi's stuff - I don't feel like a snob..... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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you put to much emphasis on material things is all i meant, it doesn't matter what you have or where you vacation...set a reasonable budget, snuggle up on the couch with your dh, hug your kids everyday, and give thanks that you all are healthy... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:25 PM Flag
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YOU ARE SO RIGHT. thank you for that. I am not snobby but I do tend to look at others "stuff" - its something I really struggle with - thanks for helping me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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were you here a few days ago when a mom was complaining how broke they were - they had three kids, she couldn't go back to work because she couldn't afford daycare/sitter for all three. she sounded miserable. you are so much better off on so many levels with what's in your means. four is a great family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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I KNOW. I could hit myself for even having these feelings. I know its wrong -that is why I vent anon. here - to bring me back...... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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try to think ofall the advantages of four then. no middle child syndrome. more time with your kids, more space, more money, fewer stretch marks. I could go on and on! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:25 PM Flag
[ - ] Did I choose the wrong dh? I had two options, one was a man who made me so happy, but there was no challenge for me and I didn't feel like I could grow and change. The other, whom I chose, doesn't understand how to make me happy, or maybe it's that he doesn't want to just make me happy all the time because he wants me to learn to do that by myself. He wants me to grow and become the better more emotionally healthy person that I can be. Sometimes I wonder how easy my life would be if I had made a different choice...but is that really better? 35 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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Who was hotter in the sack? Question answered. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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the one I chose. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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uh, yeah [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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Which one makes the most $$$? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:14 PM Flag
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sounds like it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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Why wouldn't you pick the man who made you so happy? Or maybe you shouldn't have picked either? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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I didn't feel like I could grow as a person in that relationship. I felt almost trapped in who I was at that moment. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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Well to my second question - maybe you shouldn't have picked either one. My dh makes me deliriously happy and I don't feel trapped at all but I had to wait until I was 35 to meet him. Gave up a lot of potential guys in the meantime. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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thats wonderful for you. Maybe someday my dh and I will figure out a better balance. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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^^but this is the question (your first q) that I ask myself over and over when I'm down. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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I don't see how you can sum up these people and your relationships with them so neatly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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well, yes clearly I'm oversimplifying. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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^^this just sums up the major differences as I see them now. At the time, none of this was crossing my mind, I just kind of ended up with the one that I was dating when I wanted to get married and have kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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don't torture yourself with what could have been. just might not have ever turned out like you surmise anyway. work towards making your marriage stronger. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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thank you, this is good advice. I have a hard time with letting go/regret. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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were you looking for a husband, or a father?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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You think the one I choose sounds more fatherly? or the other way around? In truth, I always felt that the first was fatherly to me. My dh has always felt more like my peer. That doesn't really make sense because the way it's simplified above it sounds like he's trying to teach me a lesson, but it's not like that. I just think that he loves me so much that he knows the best way to help me in my life journey is to get me to be happy with myself. I have some self-esteem issues. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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yes, i do think your dh sounds to treat you like a parent should....love you, wants to help you better yourself, build your self-esteem, etc....a partner just loves you for all that you are, and shares life with you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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but it's not a partner's job to be your one source of happiness. I do need to learn to be happy without someone jumping through hoops to make me that way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:28 PM Flag
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where did you read any of that "one source of happiness" and "jumping through hoops"? not in my post certainly [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:31 PM Flag
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no, but that's how it was. I'm not happy unless someone is constantly surprising me and showering me with smiles and affection. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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awwh, honey, that's actually very human, and not at all disfunctional....if your dh is training you to not expect smiles and affection than you did marry the wrong man, and i take back the father comment too, b/c a father also should do those things [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:36 PM Flag
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oh God, how can I change this? He loves me with all of his heart, he just doesn't understand affection. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:38 PM Flag
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maybe couples therapy? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:40 PM Flag
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maybe. Thank you for talking to me about this, I have to get to bed now, but you've been so sweet and helpful. I need to sleep one it. Thank you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:42 PM Flag
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all the best to you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:43 PM Flag
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I don't get why anyone would choose a challenging dh vs. one that made yoy happy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:22 PM Flag
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He;s not challenging...he just challenges me to be a better person. I felt somehow trapped in my persona with the first. Like if I changed, it would no longer work, so what ended up happening is that as I grew up, I changed, but faked towards him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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you are me. so stupid. you made the wrong choice. so did i. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:32 PM Flag
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glad to know someone else is in the same boat. Do you talk to anyone about your regret? Is your marriage strong? My marriage is strong and I know we will never divorce, but sometimes I daydream about what could have been and sometimes even about circumstances that might bring us together further down the road (like maybe we'll both be widowed and end up together). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:35 PM Flag
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^^this last part is so psycho and I know it. I love my dh dearly and would be torn apart if he died. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:36 PM Flag
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i don't think our marriage is so strong. DH and i don't have much in common and I had more in common with my ex. DH is much more demanding than my ex was too. I don't think we'll divorce because we are too dysfunctional to leave each other. we have good days and bad days. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:39 PM Flag
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^^also, my DH is not affectionate either. won't hold my hand when we walk...he'll actually walk ahead of me because i walkt "too slow". I scream at him about it all the time. He will do nice things for me, but sometimes the other stuff is too much to bear [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:41 PM Flag
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OP: Good luck, I'm sorry I don't have the answers for you. But hopefully we'll both figure it out someday and have happier marriages. I'm off to bed. Take care. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:43 PM Flag
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I actually made the other choice and have regrets sometimes too. Dh makes me happy and loves me to death but gives me no reason to work toward anything. I've gained a lot of weight and am not doing much of interest and he doesn't notice really. I hinestly wish someone held me to some sort of standard and challenged me to be my best. I'm drowning in love and mediocrity. Grass is always greener, eh? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 08:54 PM Flag
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