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05.21.08, 18:13 PM General Topics
23 replies
I am feeling despondent - we can't afford anything, much less another db, all my friends have or are having a 3rd and say I"ll regret not doing it --- why does this bother me? [ Reply | Watch | Flag ]
General Topics 05.21.08, 06:13 PM Flag
 

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do you have one or two? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:13 PM Flag
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two. And - now this is going to sound awful - I am so frustrated w/DH and his job situation - is 45 yo and making 200 k. (not in NYC) - all our friends are able to take vacations, redo their homes, etc. - not us.....gets so depressing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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Hello? We live in NYC and our combined HHC is not even close to 200K. We take vacations. Where is your money going? Plus if you have 2 you can afford 3. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:16 PM Flag
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we live in Atlanta, and NOT in a good public school system. We have to do private - and we do a church one, so sending two is only 15k combined, but still.....also, since DH is self employed we have to self insure - 1000k a month. SUCKS! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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school and insurance still isn't enough to eat up $200K. does DH have a gambling problem? the money has to be going somewhere... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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no, he doesn't. We pay 1000k a month for ins, plus we have to pay out of pocket for all medical expenses - rx, doc visits, etc. til we reach 3500 - then stuff begins to be covered. lets say that is 15k a year and school is 15k a year, that is 30k after taxes - [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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oh and don't forget our damn dental bills- we each have had a crown and root canal this year. argh [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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it sounds like a third might not be a great idea. if you're not in NYC and you're making 200k, you should be doing ok unless you spend unwisely or have big medical expenses, etc... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:17 PM Flag
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the med thing is huge for us, see above. Plus, maternity isn't covered b/c we are f*ing self insured, so we'd have to pay out of pocket for that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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i'm thinking your dh is probably more frustrated with you, comparing him constantly to other's dhs....anyway 200K should allow for vacations, and as far as having a 3rd, ppl have them on much less than that [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:18 PM Flag
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why do I do this then? is it b/c I go to everyone elses houses, see their cars, etc? btw, these are all ppl he went to grad school w/who are making lots and lots more than he is, hard not to compare.....still, I know its wrong. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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Do you actually KNOW they make a lot of money or are you assuming it by their lifestyle. It's easy to look like you have money even when you don't, KWIM? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:24 PM Flag
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eh seem to - don't think living beyond means but who really knows? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:25 PM Flag
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that's totally my point... who really knows what goes on behind closed doors [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:33 PM Flag
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If all your friends jumped off a cliff would you do it, too? Doesn't make sense to me but then again, I haven't ever been one prone to peer pressure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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why am I then??? Is it b/c I'm insecure? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:15 PM Flag
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insecure, definitely...but also you sound like the snob, that has no reason to be a snob [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:19 PM Flag
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a snob? what do you mean? I don't buy exp. clothes, drive a 9 yr old car, don't get my hair done EVER or do mani/pedi's stuff - I don't feel like a snob..... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:21 PM Flag
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you put to much emphasis on material things is all i meant, it doesn't matter what you have or where you vacation...set a reasonable budget, snuggle up on the couch with your dh, hug your kids everyday, and give thanks that you all are healthy... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:25 PM Flag
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YOU ARE SO RIGHT. thank you for that. I am not snobby but I do tend to look at others "stuff" - its something I really struggle with - thanks for helping me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:26 PM Flag
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were you here a few days ago when a mom was complaining how broke they were - they had three kids, she couldn't go back to work because she couldn't afford daycare/sitter for all three. she sounded miserable. you are so much better off on so many levels with what's in your means. four is a great family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:20 PM Flag
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I KNOW. I could hit myself for even having these feelings. I know its wrong -that is why I vent anon. here - to bring me back...... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:23 PM Flag
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try to think ofall the advantages of four then. no middle child syndrome. more time with your kids, more space, more money, fewer stretch marks. I could go on and on! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 05.21.08, 06:25 PM Flag
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