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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] In a bad public school dist. but my parents (DC's grandparents) live in excellent district on UWS. Thinking of using their address. Anyone done this? People I know that work for DOE say "DO IT!" but I know the risk of asking DS to lie about address, etc. Any advice? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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Yea. It's called fraud. If that's the lesson you want to teach your 5yo, go for it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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ah the Dep [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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^^^ sorry....ahh, the department of Ed is FRAUD, the way the system runs - ridiculous. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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Don't do it. It's fraud. What kind of a lesson is that for your dc? "Follow the rules, obey the laws, except when they are inconvenient" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:34 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone on turn down a private spot for G&T? 17 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.20.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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Good question. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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turned down fieldston lower for anderson. do you all think I made the right decision? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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sorry I know nothing about it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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I think that would be a tough call. Not sure what I would have done. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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Well, it is free. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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very sad to pass up a progressive private we loved due to $$$, but getting excited about NEST. Seems like apples and oranges, though. Have a sinking feeling that we may have made the wrong choice, but I would've had the same feeling the other way, too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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D? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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What kind of jerk are you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:30 PM Flag
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What do you mean? I don't understand the snark. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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You're publicly calling someone out who had to turn down a progressive private for NEST because of money. Who would want to be called out publicly this way? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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OR: I assumed she meant D for Dalton. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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What? I was asking if she meant she turned down a prog private school that starts with letter D. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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Oh. I apologize. Why not just say Dalton then? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:36 PM Flag
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Well, D is shorter to type and didn't want OR to have to type the whole thing if she has some regret about letting go. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:38 PM Flag
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nope [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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^^OR, btw. The jerk comment was not from me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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So, it seems like there has been some movement- has anyone heard of a dc getting off a wl now that G&T deadline has passed? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:28 PM Flag
[ - ] In a bad public school dist. but my parents (DC's grandparents) live in excellent district on UWS. Thinking of using their address. Anyone done this? People I know that work for DOE say "DO IT!" but I know the risk of asking DS to lie about address, etc. Any advice? 14 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.20.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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it is very tough on the kids and many times it comes out in other ways and they feel very guilty. When I teaching a lesson on neighborhoods, the children had to draw a picture of something in their neighborhood- their home, block, park, etc. This little boy drew a pic of his apr building and the park next to it- the school is zoned for a neighborhood w/ 1-2 family houses. The child started crying when he realized what he did [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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np: Poor little kid! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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I felt so bad for him, it took me a while to figure out what he was so upset about. He was supposed to draw the lady's house his mom cleans- that's all he kept saying [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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In that case, it seems like his mother didn't have many options for her child. The people we know who lie own a brownstone in Boerum Hill - they have all sorts of options, they just wouldn't include having a whole house. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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I'm not saying the mom was wrong to try to get the best education for her son but I am pointing out that it is very hard for the child to keep the lie. So much that is taught, especially in the younger grades has to do with the child and community. It is a lot for a 5yo to keep straight [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:27 PM Flag
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Yes, way too much of a burden for a small child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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that's so sad... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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I have a friend who is doing this for her dd next year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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as a parent in a school that is loosing classrooms due to overcrowding, I hate people who do this. I do know of some parents who would contact DOE if they found out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:39 PM Flag
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np- we are in the same situation and our parent coordinator makes home visits to those that are suspicious [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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what school? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 05:07 AM Flag
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You don't know what you would do for your child. If your only alternative was to send him or her to a frightening school, wouldn't you put aside ethics for their safety? I would guess parents who do this are going to be very supportive of the school because they would be so damned happy to be there. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 08:11 PM Flag
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The schools on the UWS are being ruined by overcrowding issues. It's hard enough when folks live in the community but terrible for those that try to trick the system. I can tell you if you are moving into a specific UWS school, the parents will resent you and your kid. What will you do for playdates, how do you think people aren't going to find out. You should actually move or find another legal alternative. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 05:29 AM Flag
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ITA- Many UWSers feel once good schools are schools they can't in good conscience sent their kids to due to overcrowding. I suspect and very vigilant grassroots effort to stop this type of mis-representation. I feel for OP, I really do. But I would never judge a parent who routed out offenders as there is measurable harm being done to the UWS schools due to lying. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:43 AM Flag
[ - ] IVF Poll: How many times did you do ivf before it worked? How old were you? did it work. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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1st time at 37 it worked, 2nd time at 39, didn't work, 3rd time at 39, cautiously optimistic--it worked but low beta # but tripling every 2 days currently..... good luck [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:23 PM Flag
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We did it 1 time. It failed miserably. We switched immediately to adoption. I was around 33. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.30.08, 05:24 PM Flag
[ - ] any advice for dealing with hemorrhoids? tia 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 06.20.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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tucks and preph. dont wear thongs. try not to sit for long periods. or get a hemorrhoid pillow - they help alot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 11:06 AM Flag
[ - ] DS started swim class last week and threw a big fit about going in to pool area and then the pool. Finally got him eased in to the water, though, and he ended end throwing a fit because he didn't want to leave. Now he's so psyched to go this weekend. Funny how they adjust. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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where was the lesson and how old is DS? we're about to register DD for a swim class, although she's dead set against it (4.5) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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Camp Olympia Swim at John Jay HS in Brooklyn. The teachers were really good about helping him get used to the water before getting him in. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:36 PM Flag
[ - ] IVF Polll: 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:09 PM Flag
[ - ] did anyone give up coffee during 1st trimester? 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Expecting 06.20.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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yep... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:35 PM Flag
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I gave up most food and everything with a scent in the first trimester [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:36 PM Flag
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I'm there right now... I just had dinner of brie and crackers... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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nope. drank 1-2 cups per day for entire pg [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:52 PM Flag
[ - ] where should I deliver 2nd baby? want a private room, are there any LDR rooms in manhattan? I was on the wait list for a private room at Columbia for #1 and never got in. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 06.20.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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It's all wait lists, unless you do birthing center at SLR. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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that's no epidural right? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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Yup. If you want a decent shot at a private room, I suggest Beth Israel. But then you have to deliver at Beth Israel :) I did it - but it sure ain't pretty like at Cornell. (Though I found the postpartum nurses 100% better than Cornell) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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nurses are so important! my nurse with me during delivery was a zombie,no personality...it was my first and she really made it yucky. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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Cornell had wonderful delivery nurses. But postpartum nurses that were so awful that DH found me bleeding and unconscious on the floor of my bathroom - I remember buzzing and buzzing for help, no one showed up. (And I was in hospital for nearly two weeks - the surgical floor nurses turned out to be better than the postpartum nurses) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:14 PM Flag
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nyp cornell [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:11 PM Flag
[ - ] Total Brag; No prep 99 on all. People assume all 99ers were prepped, but. 23 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.20.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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On all what? Are you 99 across the board Mom? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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I think I read at least a dozen moms posting. Some think there were at least 50 kids in the same boat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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ditto. i thought if dc was really "gifted," then let the test do its job. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:08 PM Flag
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tritto. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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Or: and believe me, we were shocked as hell at score. thought he'd do okay, but 99. total shock. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:10 PM Flag
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First 99 was a total shock, but were you shocked at 2nd and 3rd 99 as well? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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shocked all around. i really didn't know what to think, but a 99? but ... then again, when i saw a 99, thought it would be a rarity! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:15 PM Flag
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I thought it was rare until I found out just about every other kid got 99 or 98 (which is just a hair's diff) and so many kids who got 99 on 2 tests, so it seems like the norm here. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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yes! so i thought it was rare for about the 1/2 hour before i went on the computer! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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considering 23,000 kids took the test - the number of kids that scored high is still relatively small [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 08:54 PM Flag
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yep. I didn't want dc to go somewhere dc doesn't "belong" bec of prepping and regret being in the bottom of the class (assuming tests are accurate at this age). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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or: exactly...really, that's not fair to him/her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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Any good mom does de facto prep. Everytime you read a story and talk about it. Whenever you go to the grocery store and DC helps you get X number of limes and Y lemons, etc. Talking about why this happens or that. Exposure to the world. Decent preschool. That's prepping, and we all should be prepping. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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ON UB, that is not prepping. Here, prepping means cheating. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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cheating how? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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but it might not get you scores in the high 90s [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:22 PM Flag
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I think my DD is brilliant at 3yo is reading and doing basic math on her own. Has a memory like an elephant and is constantly making the most astute observations about life. That being said, I will prep b/c so much is riding on it. Can't afford private. Failing school. Don't want to move 1.5 hours away from my job and spend my life commuting. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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have a dc like that, and never prepped. got 99s on all 3 tests. those kinds of kids are the kind who score 99 without any prepping [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:23 PM Flag
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one of the 99s above..my son is like this, too. always takes conversation to the next level and wants to know how things work and why. blah.blah. which is why i thought i'd throw it out there and test him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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My dc was same. No prep. Still 99's. Don't worry. Your dc will do fine if she can focus (not easily distracted) and is not stressed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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Her preschool constantly praise her for her focused determination. Very socially at ease. That being said everyone can have a bad day. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 08:06 PM Flag
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That was us exactly and why we prepped. It really wasn't a big deal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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yawn -- enough with bragging about scores already. And there are different definitions of prep. In some cases it is mere exposure to many things. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 08:52 PM Flag
[ - ] what did the brearley vs anderson mom finally decide. haven't been here for awhile. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.20.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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I think she posted earlier today about how to phrase what she has to say to private. So I assume she decided. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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you know for a fact that was for brearley? i thought she didn't say [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:21 PM Flag
[ - ] dh turns 40 next week . we have a 3 yr old and 3 week old baby. dh wants a night out with the boys and i have said no because its all new at home...is that unreasonable 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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Yeah, I think it's unreasonable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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yes, unreasonable, it's one night! you are just emotional from giving birth. BTDT. do you have a friend that will come hang out with you? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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I'd let him go. If it were your first kid only 3 wks old, that's a little different. But by now, you've been through the newborn phase before, and while things may be tough for the 3 yo (and you may be sleep deprived), he's just talking about a night out, not a weekend away. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:09 PM Flag
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not horrible, but I would let him go, he probably won't get another chance for a couple months... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:13 PM Flag
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you're being totally unreasonable, but then again, you have all those postpartum hormones pumping through you. if you think it's going to be a tough night, just hire a sitter to be with you. maybe she can help you with the feeds, changing the kids, whatever... plus, you might feel a little more comfortable with some back-up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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I would tell him to go, and hire a sitter for the night if I felt overwhelmed (totally normal to feel overwhelmed with a newborn). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:38 PM Flag
[ - ] help! i have a hemorrhoid. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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Get Lavender or Chamomile essential oil, place 1 to 2 drops on toilet paper and place on area to assist discomfort and flare-up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 07:37 AM Flag
[ - ] Hate neighbors who party in their gardens at night. I can't open my window because there are a bunch of people singing really loudly. F^ckers. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 06:59 PM Flag
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You never throw a party in your garden? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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OP: I don't have a garden, or I would. I would not have 30 jackass friends serenading the neighborhood, though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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do they ever invite you? try being nicer to them -- crash the party with a nice bottle of champagne and maybe the noise won't bother you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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I don't know them. The live on the block behind my building. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:05 PM Flag
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np: I did this and had a blast at our neighbors party once- can't hurt [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:17 PM Flag
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funny, I always liked that (though I would wish I could join them instead of being stuck in apt) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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Lovely, now they're beliting out a punk rock ditty with "F^ck you" as the chorus, and no, I didn't complain to them, so it's not directed at me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:12 PM Flag
[ - ] Would you choose a 5 bedroom house in a neighborhood full of drug dealers & pit bulls or a two bedroom in a charming safe neighborhood? Both in Chicago.... 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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been there done that... Get away from the drug dealers, you can't imagine how much happier you're going to be. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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duh [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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drug dealers are never a good option. why not find a 3 br house in an ok nabe instead? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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There has GOT to be a 3-bedroom in a decent neighborhood. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:03 PM Flag
[ - ] since we all know this year's g&t process was a total failure, can we collaborate and write what went wrong and how doe should fix it? 65 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 06.20.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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For starters, the process should start in October, not January, so people could have the notice about the same time they find out private school placement (if they are doing that, too) so they won't be in June facing the decision whether to eat a full year tuition contract and go with G&T placement [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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then they would be testing 3.5 yr olds. testing 4 yr olds is already ridiculous. my DD was tested 2 weeks after she turned 4. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:18 PM Flag
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They can't test dc until they're 4 yo. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:20 PM Flag
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Then they should make the cut off for public the same as private. Sept. 1 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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You want them to change the bday cutoff so they can test earlier, so they can send out decisions earlier? You realize how absurd that is, right? I mean, there are some reasonable arguments for changing the bday cutoff, but that's not one of them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:34 PM Flag
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Are you all stupid? Just start the testing in September for kids who are 4. Why do ALL the tests have to happen over three chaotic, insane weekends? The testing should trickle on throughout the year until all the kids turn 4 and are tested. Duh. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 05:22 AM Flag
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If you want the DOE to drag the testing process out over months and keep track of every dc's exact age at the time of testing, you're the one who's stupid. That would be even more of a mess logistically and wouldn't result in an earlier notification date, which is the OR's main complaint. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 05:53 AM Flag
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^ Keep track of the dc's exact age on the fly, I mean; to schedule appointments for testing. That's very different than Harcourt having all the dc's bdays to score the tests after the fact. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 05:56 AM Flag
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lobby for privates to change their cutoffs to match public. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 05:10 AM Flag
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Oh please. NYC publics serve 1.1 million kids, and most of those kids are not being served well. The last thing they should consider is parents who can afford private. I want my tax $s to go to kids who don't have that option. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:36 PM Flag
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1) they should not test at pre-k level but k at the earliest [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 06:57 PM Flag
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2) have central testing facility 3) use outside personnel fully trained to administer the test 4) implement monitors to observe during testing 5) parents should be allowed to choose time frame 6) child should be allowed to meet the tester 7) NOT TEST AT PRE-K LEVEL but at K the earliest 8) use IQ test not OLSAT [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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amen...i'm a psychologist and can't believe they use this bogus test to measure anything. it's all about DOE being too cheap to use trained testers... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:19 PM Flag
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says the psychologist whose $$$ has dried up since doe stopped using sb/erbs for admissions to G&T. I am an educational psychologist, and you really know very little about these tests. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:28 PM Flag
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um, excuse me???? i am not a psych who works for DOE, although I did spend years testing for PREP for PREP administering the WISC and SB for very little $$. You can't honestly tell me that the OLSAT is any predictor of "giftedness." what are you basing your assessment on?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:32 PM Flag
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what are you basing your assessment on? the studies you seem to be citing with such indignation have yet to be done. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:39 PM Flag
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np. I'm no big fan of the OLSAT, but it's ridiculous to argue the reason the DOE chose to use that test is simply because they're "too cheap" to use the alternative. We're talking about testing 50,000 kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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And yet, the DOE manages to find the funds to send letters Fedex, UPS overnight, and spend $5 per letter for delivery by courier??? Go figure?? DOE is unbelievable! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:44 PM Flag
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DOE needs to REALLY evaluate the rules and policies and stick to them and the deadlines they set. This year was RIDICULOUS the way the "rules" changed in the middle of the game (ex. changing cut off from 95% to 90%). Plus DOE did not meet ONE deadline date that they set this year. I think if the policies and dates were set from the beginning and upheld, parents would not get so crazy and the whole process would be A LOT fairer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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true..not one "rule" not one "deadline" was followed, really. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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ITTTTA. Meet the damn deadline for once and stick to original plan. You can't change the game in the middle of it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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ITA. And many of the midstream changes they made were to deal with issues that people here had been predicting from the start. Whoever the DOE was paying to develop its guidelines for G&T, but they should be fired. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:44 PM Flag
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You are making the assumption that there are people at the DOE who are actually trained and qualified to make the evaluation. They don't have such people. Their head(s) of education and psychometricians are bureaucratic flaks that have made their career inside a flawed system and don't have real world clinical and/or university chomps. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 06:08 AM Flag
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From my personal perspective, it was a great success. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:06 PM Flag
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ditto [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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that's great for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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I know we're very lucky. I do think they should stick to one plan throughout, have a transparent process, and meet deadlines, though. Also, agree that testing 4 yos is a real crap shoot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:11 PM Flag
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You were very very lucky and in the minority. Even if the outcome was "successful", didn't you find it frustrating that not ONE deadline was met? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:56 PM Flag
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OR: yes, very. I did post that in reply to "That's great for you". I reallize we were incredibly lucky. DS was actually well-rested and behaved the day of the test, he scored well, and we must've been picked early in the lottery becuase we got our first and only choice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 08:04 PM Flag
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So then that IS something the DOE needs to fix and it does not make the process "successful" just your very very very lucky outcome. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 08:13 PM Flag
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they shouldn't begin testing until 2nd grade- G&T should be 3rd grade and up [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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i agree with this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:25 PM Flag
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sorry. not feasible. people cannot uproot their kids and send them to a different part of the city at age 8. no one would use these programs if they started at 3rd grade. perhaps people with no options whatsoever. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:31 PM Flag
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np: I think people would change their minds about that if it was the only option. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:33 PM Flag
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nnp: The DOE can't risk it - tons of families would be long gone to the burbs by 3rd grade. (Which of course just shows how much of the G&T program is a UMC/MC retention program) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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but many of the burbs do not start their G&T programs until 3rd grade [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:39 PM Flag
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Right, but they provide a decent education for your child in the meantime! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:40 PM Flag
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and you think you can not find a decent education k-2 in NYC public schools? Have you even looked at gen ed classes. I have observed some gen ed classes that I think are better than the G&T ones [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:42 PM Flag
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My kid is in gen ed! But we have a good zoned school. But so many others do not have this option. Though frankly, most of the parents I know who are doing G&T are not those parents without options - they are in decent zones, but it's not good enough for them. The system is really broken right now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:44 PM Flag
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do you feel your child is getting a decent education? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:45 PM Flag
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Absolutely. Better than decent. But people two blocks from our apt. are not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:46 PM Flag
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in what way are they not? is the school safe? are the parents involved? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:47 PM Flag
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The school is one the "at-risk" schools. Parents are not involved in great numbers - there are always the people who stay behind and try to work within the system. But they are getting nowhere. Everyone else does private, G&T or leaves. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:48 PM Flag
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well that is why the school is at risk. If those children did not leave for G&T or private they would all be in the public school building back up [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:50 PM Flag
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It's a catch-22. Once the school's a problem, it's nearly impossible for parents to change that in the 5 years their kids are there. You cannot seriously expect parents to sacrifice their children for some greater good. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:51 PM Flag
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that's what people are going through this year- this group og incoming K were the guinea pigs and many have to face the exact scenario now b/c they were not accepted into the G&T programs and zoned schools are the only option. Sadly it has to start somewhere [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:53 PM Flag
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It should be starting with better management and commitment to ALL schools from the DOE. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:54 PM Flag
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Not necessarily. They might move, homeschool, send to private - more likely. And then you'd have an explosion of new private and charter schools, like we've had in the past in the city. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 06:11 AM Flag
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because they have the programs in the same school. you wouldn't have to take your kid out of the school they have been in since K and have them commute 2 hrs a day to a new school just to get a G&T program. it would be ridiculous. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:41 PM Flag
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well no elementary school child should be traveling 2 hours a day to school that is ridiculous [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:43 PM Flag
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what about these people coming from washington heights to nest, or queens to anderson? sorry if you are going to have to commute, the chance that you will utilize a program wll be greater is you start there. uprooting and moving kids around would not be good for them, very disruptive psychologically, and it would likely waste time in terms of utilizing the gifted program, as dcs would take 1/4 of the year adjusting socially and with a new commute. would be stupid frankly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:47 PM Flag
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a 5yo should not be traveling from Queens to NEST. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:49 PM Flag
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np. Who are you to say? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:50 PM Flag
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common sense would say but I can stand behind my words [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:51 PM Flag
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OK, Sanctimommy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:55 PM Flag
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In my wealthy NJ suburb, we had regional schools and I was on a school bus for an hour each way to school. Kids in rural communities routinely travel this far and further to school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 06:12 AM Flag
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it isn't supposed to be about you it is what is best for the child. I teach G&T- 5th grade and I am speaking from experience there shouldn't be G&T classes k-2 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:37 PM Flag
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ITD, I wouldn't have wanted to send DC farther from home at 5 but at 8, yeah, I would! I would've been totally fine with my crappy nabe zoned school for K-2 if "gifted" testing was in 2nd and "gifted" admissions for 3rd - especially if the gifted schools went beyond 5th. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:46 PM Flag
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well, most discerning NYers wouldn't be fine with sending their kid to some crappy zoned school k-2. you may have different standards, but people with very bright kids worry that the kid will not develop the basics and a love of learning. i agree. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:54 PM Flag
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I am a discerning NYer and if you need street cred, DC was W/L at Hunter, accepted at Anderson and attends LL. But if I would actually have preferred it if the testing didn't happen until later. DC would've been just fine at PS198, has neighborhood friends there... one of whom is so obviously "gifted" that I wish she could be tested and admitted to 77. She's been doing fine at 198 (now completing 3rd grade) but could probably do so much better at 77. I think K-2 is fine anywhere that's safe and decent, and its good for NYC kids to at leat start out all together. My kid would still be reading complex books regardless of peers, and would never have been bored in any classroom k-2. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 08:29 PM Flag
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and yet, you chose LL for your dc. people are such hypocrites who make this argument! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 08:35 PM Flag
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Stuff the envelopes properly so parents don't get another family's letter. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:21 PM Flag
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Testing used to be in January with acceptances mailed in late March. Today's system seems far worse. Even if you are not looking at private school, June is late to be deciding on school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 08:07 PM Flag
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Figure out a process that does not penalize via testing minority kids [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 10:02 PM Flag
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On the postive side. I liked the fact that you were guaranteed a seat if you ranked all choices and I liked the fact that there was no way to game the system. I hope those stay. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 05:49 AM Flag
[ - ] So, did anyone turn down a G&T spot? Where and why? Just curious. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.20.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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Well, there are 4 girls and 12 boys who declined Hunter that we know of. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 06:53 PM Flag
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op: I thought it was 3 girls and 10 boys. Did another girl get called? And did they actually get through the whole boys list? Rumour has it they added 5 or so boys. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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It is 3 and 10 and they did expand the WL. Df's ds got a letter this week. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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op: That is what i thougth. it totally sucks to have a girl on w/l this year compared to the boys. Really hoped they would just move on tot he girls list once they got through the boys. oh well, so is life. Congrats to them all! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:16 PM Flag
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I know someone who gave up PS 166 G&T for PS 87 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 06:56 PM Flag
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yes, we turned down nest. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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I turned mine down and I know about 6 other that did as well- we are in District 22 brooklyn [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:13 PM Flag
[ - ] What is worse, a DH having an on-going affair or one who occassionally uses a "pro"? 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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How about a DH who has an ongoing affair with a pro? That was me [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 06:52 PM Flag
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online affair meaning no real sex, just chat, etc? or just that they met someone online? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 06:54 PM Flag
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Ongoing, not online. Ex had an affair with a stripper who had a side business as a prostitute [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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silly me! Both bad, occasional pro is probably slightly better from a forgivable standpoint (assuming that he was careful about condoms). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 06:56 PM Flag
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I count that as on-going if there was an emotional, rather than purely physical component. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 06:57 PM Flag
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So did I, hence the ex part of my life [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 06:57 PM Flag
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They each have their insurmountable issues. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 06:59 PM Flag
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op: please elaborate... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:00 PM Flag
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An ongoing affair would mean emotional intimacy, and that's a marriage-ending thing for me. And the prostitutes would mean some sort of psychological tweak beyond my wanting to understand. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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Maybe the "pro" thing is a desire for some variety and also a desire to NOT have emotional intimacy with someone other the DW?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:07 PM Flag
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Yeah, he could argue that - but I'm not buying it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:08 PM Flag
[ - ] Where is your child going to school and did you prep? I'll start - Anderson and I prepped dd a bit (maybe 3 or 4 hours in total over the course of about a month). 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 06.20.08, 06:51 PM Flag
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Anderson. We went over the practice test 1 time about 2 weeks before test- that is it. i feel that normal everyday things that parents do with kids is prep enough. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 06:54 PM Flag
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NEST and we prepped a lot [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 06:56 PM Flag
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I am the 1st responder above- not flaming or judging, just wondering if you are afraid your dc may have to work harder and might struggle? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 06:57 PM Flag
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Not at all. I think she probably would've scored high without, but so much was riding on it that we weren't taking any chances. She's already reading and adding and subtracting double digits, for ex, and we didn't teach her that [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:01 PM Flag
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166 G&T (3rd choice)- DD scored 99 and 99 on SB- No prep. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 06:58 PM Flag
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Nest. Did the sample OLSAT and 2 pages of KTSS. He had also taken the ERB and done private playdates so was used to going off with a teacher for a chat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:02 PM Flag
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Anderson - no prep at all. Dc would not stand for even one second of it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:03 PM Flag
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ditto. ds, as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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i didn't prep at all. when we left to go to the test, i told him a bit about person going to ask him questions, etc. he scored 99. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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^we're one above who turned down nest. he will go to his local gen ed school [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:04 PM Flag
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Anderson. We did KTSS. Like poster above, dc was already doing double digit math with carry the number and borrow the number, so i'm not worried the dc will have trouble keeping up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:12 PM Flag
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Nest. Did the practice test twice, once 3 weeks before and the night before. Nothing else. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:26 PM Flag
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Anderson, we prepped using the KTSS, about 20-30 min at a time on a weekend, spread out over about 4-5 weekends. DC loved the worksheets and even after we had finished them, kept asking to do them again. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.20.08, 07:31 PM Flag
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nest 99% no prep. just couldn't do it after being shut out last year. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 04:49 PM Flag
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NEST, no prepping at all. Not even the practice test, which we never received. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 04:53 PM Flag
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You had to go pick it up. There was no receiving. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.21.08, 04:56 PM Flag
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Didn't prep for NEST, got in and turned them down quickly.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 05:40 PM Flag
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Why would you even apply just to turn them down "quickly". I think that is a big problem. With no waitlist - you wasted a spot that someone else could have taken. So selfish......... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 06:34 PM Flag
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Nest - not prep at all. 20 minutes on the practice test a week before the test. Barely have enough time to cook dinner let alone playing around with test prep. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 06.22.08, 06:30 PM Flag
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