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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

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Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] OK - who out there remembers their big "sex talk?" Who gave it to you? What about it worked for you? What do you think didn't work? Anyone remember? Want to help me out? 44 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:46 PM Flag
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Why not refer to the man and woman as mom and dad? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:47 PM Flag
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I just remember a book my parents got me around age 9--Where Do Babies Come From? or something like that. I don't remember an official talk at all. And I think my mom really let me down in that department. I went away to college w/o knowing how to put in a tampon or how ovulation works. I want to do better by my kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:47 PM Flag
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op: see? this is one reason i'm asking. no one ever had this talk with me. in fact, when i told my mom in college that she'd never had the birds and bees talk with me she said "Didn't your brother or sister do that?" I want my kids to know they can talk to me about this stuff. I just don't want to do too much too soon. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:49 PM Flag
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I know what you mean. I'm not there yet with my kids, but soon. My oldest--DS--is very technically-minded, so I see some questions coming up soon. There is a book that is supposed to help sort out what they are ready to hear when called Flight of the Stork. I have it but haven't read it yet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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My aunt bought a kids book about sex and I remember our parents giggling while my sister and I read it together. Never a word spoken! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:48 PM Flag
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was that a relief to you or do you wish they'd talked to you about it? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:50 PM Flag
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It was a relief because my parents were so awkward. I hope I don't have that kind of relationship with my own kids though, I'd like them to be able to talk to be about this stuff. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:53 PM Flag
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I think that the book idea is good (as long as you don't giggle). Ask her if she has any questions, and be really open about it. If you're embarrassed, she's going to pick up on it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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I have a brother who is 4y8m younger than I am, so I was around 4 and a half... My mom is from Denmark and I have a cartoony but very graphic book she read to me. Has everything from the sex to the delivery. Very 70's. Will have to drag it out for my DD's in the next few years. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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I had a book, don't remember what it was called. The one thing I remember quite vividly is a drawing of a couple lying side by side in bed with the penis in the vagina, accompanied by text along the lines of "when a man and woman love each other very much and decide they want to have a baby, he puts his penis in her vagina...." That obviously left an impact!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:55 PM Flag
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Were the people kind of fat? She had curly hair and the man was bald? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:57 PM Flag
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I think I remember that book too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:58 PM Flag
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I found it on amazon - called "where did I come from" by peter mayle. I might have to order it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:03 PM Flag
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Thank you--I may have to get it too. It made an impression, that's for sure. I just wish my mom had followed up more afterwards. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:05 PM Flag
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np: The same Peter Mayle who then went to France and wrote A Year in Provence?! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:06 PM Flag
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I seriously doubt it! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:09 PM Flag
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Holy crap - I wiki'd him and it is the same guy! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:10 PM Flag
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That is too funny! Turns out I love ALL his work. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:14 PM Flag
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now that level of detail, I do not remember. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:58 PM Flag
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a dh: dad told me and my brother (1 year younger). He used the Electrolux vacuum fitting and hose as an instructional aid. We were around 6 and 7. I have since learned that they had to do it earlier than they would have liked because the kid across the street (Michael) was a year older and his older brother had told him everything. After he explained everything my dad asked if we had questions/comments. My brother is reported to have said, "Yeah, that sounds disgusting. I hope they find a new way by the time I'm old enough." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:58 PM Flag
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LMAO! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:00 PM Flag
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I've teased him about that for years. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:38 PM Flag
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Showed up in school for the big all-school assembly. There was a blackboard and an overhead projector and then the special speaker entered from stage left. Yes, my dad. He explained to the ENTIRE SCHOOL about menstruation, wet dreams, changing voices, breasts, etc. I have never been the same... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:44 PM Flag
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My dad is a shrink. He didn't understand why, as a teenage boy, I did not want to spend summer vacation on the beach with him as he read a book with the one word title in 125 point Times New Roman, all cap! The title, on three lines so it could fit: HOMO/SEXU/ALITY. I can still picture it today, the cover was a really bright green and the letters were the most brilliant white you can imagine. (Funny, I haven't thought of this in years.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:57 PM Flag
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Dad is a Gyno. Says things over dinner like "I hope you girls know the vagina is like a self-cleaning oven." I can feel your pain. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:02 PM Flag
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I'm laughing, sorry. If it helps it is that awkward laugh of someone with shared scars... (how'd we turn out so well adjusted?) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:18 PM Flag
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Well, when you're body is a mysterious self-cleaning oven that is also "not supposed to smell like a strawberry or a pina colada" you can really soar ! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:21 PM Flag
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OP here - while these posts don't help me at all - I'm so glad I asked this question b/c I am laughing so hard at your responses. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:23 PM Flag
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I have told my dad he should write a book with his insightful and blunt observations. BTW, mom is an OB nurse / lamaze teacher / lactation specialist and they disagree on 90% of everything. She has some doozies too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:25 PM Flag
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My shrink dad is also the electrolux dad from the post above. I always say "preachers' kids and shrinks' kids... the most damaged goods on the discount table." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:27 PM Flag
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friend's parents are both sex therapists. he's got some big time baggage to contend with ! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:29 PM Flag
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ding ding ding. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:31 PM Flag
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my son turned 10, and i got him a book, its made for his age, but on the graphic side... we read it together, he felt a little uncomportable, but he would ask questions [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:29 PM Flag
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I have a DS 9. What is it called ? I have tried to bring upthis subject, but he does NOT want to hear it. Maybe the book would be good since he likes to stay up late reading. He could learn in private. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:30 PM Flag
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hold on i will go check.... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:31 PM Flag
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i got these 2 Boys, Girls & Body Science: A First Book about Facts of Life and It's So Amazing!: A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families.... one is much younder then the other, but they both were great [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:38 PM Flag
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thank you ! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 03:10 PM Flag
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I don't thinkn I had a real talk. My mom bought me a set of red & gray books all about puberty and sex ed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 05:08 PM Flag
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I'm 32, have two dc, and am still waiting for the damn sex talk. Sorry. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 05:09 PM Flag
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if you have to do the sex talk, do it discreetly, i.e. slip a book under their door. my dad tried to give me one when I was 13 and it was super awkward. yes they need to hear the information, but does it have to be from you? you can do it but you'll probably annoy your kid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 05:25 PM Flag
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Well, this is certainly not the way to be sure your kids will talk to you as they grow through their teens. Slip something under the door? Are you serious? Talk about drugs and alcohol that way too? The only hope we have during these years is keeping the lines of communication open. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 10:22 PM Flag
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LOL!! Are you planning to slip condoms under the door too? Talk to your child all the time, about everything. Don't send the message that questions about sex are to be dealt with in a sneaky hidden way. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 10:30 PM Flag
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Answer every question you are asked honestly from day one. Use proper terms for body parts from day one. Don't push more info than your child is asking for but never, ever, indicate that sex is anything to be embarrassed about, spoken of in euphemisms, or anything like that. Best sex book to have around the house: IT'S PERFECTLY NORMAL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.23.08, 10:18 PM Flag
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My parents told me not to do it until I got married, not helpful at all! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.24.08, 04:45 AM Flag
[ - ] I'm 37. Is it nuts to wait until spring to try for db#2? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:44 PM Flag
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yes [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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can you tell me why? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:46 PM Flag
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no, I had db #2 at 39 and I would love to try again (I'm 41) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:46 PM Flag
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not to me, but i had my first at 37. it really depends on how bad you will feel if it does't work. and if you are OK with other optiosn (IVF, adoption, an only child) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:46 PM Flag
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are the odds that bad for 38 yo? I have so many friends who've done it then, and a sister. Got pg instantly w./ #1 at 34. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:50 PM Flag
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its so varaible. the fact that you've already had one kid is a very good sign, but nobody can give you real odds. i concived 2x very quickly, at 36 and 39, but that says nothing about you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:51 PM Flag
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Did you have any trouble conceiving #1? I know it's no guarantee, but I just conceived my second at almost 37, in the second month trying. I conceived #1 on the first try. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:52 PM Flag
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Don't know if you're still on, but yes, I conceived #1 very fast--first try (whoa!). Same for my sister, who got pg. easily at 35 and 38. We each had one m/c but easy pgs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:32 PM Flag
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I'm back...I don't think it's nuts to wait. It's really only 9 more months, and you know the risks. If it would be much worse to have a newborn 9 months from now, I'd wait. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:43 PM Flag
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Yes. Because if you have problems getting pregnant, that's time you'll never get back. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:46 PM Flag
[ - ] Lost my job and had medical issues in November. Took a new job in May but the Co couldn't make payroll. Have kept our Nanny on full time. DD is in camp now and still naps so that is 6 hours a day our nanny does NOTHING. (She is a nice woman, good with dd, on time... but she can't cook/doesn't do light housekeeping very well and additionally her pm hours are not flexible) While I understand it is my fault that I have not given her direction (honestly there is nothing I can think of to tell her to do except clean up the crafts drawer but I know from experience that if she can't see its a mess, she isn't going to properly organize it) She takes no real initiative. She's getting 6 hours off in 9 hour day! This really makes me feel like I am being stolen from. My medical problems have abated, and I can can take better care of DD. Should I let her go and look for someone in the fall when dd will be in school everyday, I will have a better idea what my work prospect are and we can find someone more flexible to our schedule? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.03.08, 12:37 PM Flag
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i would stop thinking of it as stealing and start thiking of it as your needs changing. its reasonable to look for soemone with more felxibility once your child starts school (or camp every day). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:42 PM Flag
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OP: You're right. I feel guilty because she is a good caregiver but its not working. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:48 PM Flag
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totally understandable. she is a good employee for someone but she doesn't fit what your family needs now. you can always help with a new job if you want. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:50 PM Flag
[ - ] Opinions: need to have a basic sex talk with my 8 y.o. I have no moral issue with sex before marriage b/t two consenting adults. But currently, dd thinks you can only have a baby if you are married. We never actually told her this but never disputed this either. As she's only 8, should I just keep the talk about "husbands and wives" since this is a construct she understands? I'm assuming we'll have more talks as she gets older when I can talk about this in grayer terms. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:36 PM Flag
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At 8 this isn't as big of a deal, but I have read about kids having sex, thinking you actually couldn't get pregnant unless married. I would nip this misinformation in the bud. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:39 PM Flag
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OP: yikes - see that's the kind of info i was thinking about. just trying to imagine the ways i will scar my child by having this talk. : ) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:42 PM Flag
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I'm sure that there must be a good book that could help you along. I don't think that she's going to be permanently scarred by the talk, but I really don't envy you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:44 PM Flag
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NP: My DD's are 3.5 and 6.5 and have not asked yet (more interested in how the baby gets OUT than in -- I had 2 c.s., so they're still not entirely informed...). The other day I was reading Everywhere Babies with my 3.5 y.o. and she commented on the 2 daddies in one picture, so that's a whole other angle to have to explain (which they already experience in our building, school families, etc.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:49 PM Flag
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you probably could postpone this until she gets her period [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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no - i'm pregnant and she wants to know exactly how the baby got there. she knows all about periods and puberty so this will be a follow up from that talk. it really is the right time for my dd. plus - all the "experts" claim that b/t ages 8 - 9 is the right time for this talk. not sure why - just what i've read. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:47 PM Flag
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you're right, the heads on approach would be better. They grow up so quickly! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:55 PM Flag
[ - ] DF in our building recommended Elmwood Camp for our 5 yo next summer. zdf is very conservative jewish. Is the camp largely jewish? is it a mix? also, anyone know how much it costs. 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 07.03.08, 12:32 PM Flag
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Elmwood Camp in White Plains? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:34 PM Flag
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yes, I think so. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:40 PM Flag
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As far as I know, the camp is not largely Jewish. I think it costs about $6-7K for the summer. My dd went to the preschool there; when I went to tour the school last summer, camp was in session and I have to say, the kids looked like they were having a great time. I would have sent dd there for camp this summer (we are not jewish, btw) but the camp was already fully booked by the time I got around to inquiring (in January). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:42 PM Flag
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thank you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:43 PM Flag
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My DC go there and LOVE it!! Not religious (no religious connection). I can't say enough positive things about it!! They are becoming more and more popular and enroll very quickly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:02 PM Flag
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I have friends who send their kids there. There is nothing religious about it. It is no different than Hillard or Mohawk, which are also near to Elmwood. You should look at all 3. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:49 PM Flag
[ - ] Anyone have or know anyone who had chemo and NOT have it be horrible? Mom has to have 6 sessions of (according to doc) low dose chemo, with no hair loss and great management of nausea... Sounds too good to be true, and a friend of hers (who had different cancer and different chemo) is freaking her out about how awful it is. TIA! 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.03.08, 12:30 PM Flag
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My mom had it. I don't remember how many sessions (it was 8 years ago). She did not lose her hair. She had some nausea but not horrible (she says morning sickness was worse!) and was very tired, but it wasn't the scary horrible chemo we were all afraid of. She actually gained some weight because, due to the nausea, she ate a bunch of carbs all the time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:39 PM Flag
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^^^my mom had breast cancer, by the way. Good luck to your mom!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:39 PM Flag
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Thanks, same == small tumor, found it early, not spread, etc., etc. Every time there has been a better or worse outcome, hers has always been the better one, so so far, so good. She's actually only even having the chemo b/c she agreed to be part of a trial -- she's on the very lowest end of who'd need it, so if not for the trial, she'd probably only have radiation and hormones and the option to take chemo if she wanted. She's afraid of not taking it and somehow jinxing herself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:44 PM Flag
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Thanks so much! This doc seems really nice and caring and my mom (who happens to be a nurse, but not in this area) has this "they're all BSing me -- of course it is going to suck" attitude (very unlike her, but understandable given what she's going through). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:41 PM Flag
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i just finished chemo and radiation for breast cancer, and found it VERY manageable. the meds for nausea are great, and i really just felt like i had a mild flu for 5 days for each treatment (4). my energy level and stamina suffered, but i feel great now. it's all doable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:43 PM Flag
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OP: Thanks so much for sharing this -- great to hear (and glad you're doing well with it). Best of luck to you!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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a family member did-for breast cancer. had some nausea, would only eat bagels, said it was like being pg. gl to your mom [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 06:19 PM Flag
[ - ] I started giving my 4 month old a bottle and now he'll only bf for a couple of minutes and cries and then drinks 5 ounces in the bottle. Is there any way I can get him to want to bf again? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 07.03.08, 12:23 PM Flag
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stop the bottles. hard but it will work. also if you must use them, use teh slowest nipples. and it may help to pump briefly before you put baby to breastso there is an immediate letdown (not forever, just to get him back to it). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:33 PM Flag
[ - ] It's going to be tight this month. What are your go-to cheap tasty EASY to prepare meals? 13 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:23 PM Flag
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eggs are cheap (despite the rising costs.) we have eggs and toast for dinner and everyone in my family is happy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:24 PM Flag
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rice and beans [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:32 PM Flag
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black bean burritos. i love the "express lane cookbook," probably can still find it on amazon. for every recipe, you can buy all the ingredients and still get through the express lane at the grocery. (assuming you have salt, pepper, oil, garlic, a couple of other things) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:38 PM Flag
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I think one of the problems is that protein is expensive and carbs are cheap... so rice/potatoes are obvious choices. But once you eat a bunch of carbs and get your insulin level up, you get hungry again really quick. So, be frugal about it but don't cut out too much of the protein. A whole chicken is only like 49 cents a pond on sale. Cut it up and you have a good bit of healthy protein. (And freeze the carcass(sp?) and when it gets colder, you have it to make stock/soup.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:45 PM Flag
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beans are cheap, especially if you buy dried and cook them (although that is a PITA). combine with whole grains and you have a complete protein. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:48 PM Flag
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beans are really easy if you use the crockpot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:01 PM Flag
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or a pressure cooker. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:01 PM Flag
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Granted. But "serve your kid nothing but beans for the month of July" seems like unreasonable advice. Granted it is better than, "serve your kid nothing but beans for the month of January." (Beans... in door month/school/joke...ah never mind.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:24 PM Flag
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you have the best suggestions here: try a fritata with the eggs or a crustless quiche with some frozen veggies (they are cheaper than fresh and usually better). Also fat free beans are great with mexican or over pasta [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:59 PM Flag
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very tight for us this month too. only purchases of on sale meats and mostly chicken. we've been doing a lot of store brands too. grill some chicken and then make leftover meals like quesadillas one night and salads another night. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:02 PM Flag
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Rice & Beans (which also becomes burritos or quesadillas);pasta; omelettes/fritattas [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:26 PM Flag
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whole wheat pasta with roasted tomatos (is there are e in there ?) and fresh parm. It's simple and easy and has protein. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:27 PM Flag
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fet alfredo is very cheap and easy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:30 PM Flag
[ - ] where can a family of 2 adults and 2 preschoolers go on a budget at the end of august? would like a pool and/or beach type. we live in nyc. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:23 PM Flag
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we were just up in maine in a rental house. can you do a condo or rental up there so you can cook in? there are TONS of motels too with kitchenettes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:01 PM Flag
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can you suggest the town? what part of the town would be the nicer area? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:08 PM Flag
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Rent a house in the Catskills: vrbo.com or cyberrentals.com [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:27 PM Flag
[ - ] spamalot, wicked or spring awakening? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:20 PM Flag
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not spamalot [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:22 PM Flag
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how old are you? at 35, i felt too old or maybe cynical for spring awakening. found it to be melo-dramatic and overdone. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:27 PM Flag
[ - ] How long does it take to lose the baby weight. I am depressed about my body right now. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:14 PM Flag
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9 months on, 9 months off [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:15 PM Flag
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it took me 18 months both times. try weight watchers. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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did you have weight issues before? I didn't, and now it seems hard to lose the weight. It is like my total body changed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:36 PM Flag
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np: are you bf? that makes a difference [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:43 PM Flag
[ - ] what movie are out that i can take my 5 yo ds to this weekend? wall-e? kung-fu panda? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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wall e is really cute, my 5 yo loved it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:57 AM Flag
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both are great [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:01 PM Flag
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I hated kung fu panda, but in all fairness I'm not 5. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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has he outgrown Thomas? there is a limited showing of thomas films starting saturday running every saturday and sunday in july at select theaters. only $3.50 per ticket. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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WHERE?????? Need to take my 4 year old!!! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:02 PM Flag
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what cities? where can I find more info? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:02 PM Flag
[ - ] Would you post on your family blog that you are trying to conceive, just so that your DH and you could finally get some privacy for the ACT! I mean his family is constantly trying to stay over at our house and it is so much work cleaning, cooking and hosting that I get completely worn out that month and we haven't been able to get pregnant for over a year mainly because of the situation. 11 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:50 AM Flag
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NO. Just stop the family from visiting all the time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:51 AM Flag
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ita! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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me three! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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posting on the family blog isn't likely to help. just tell people that you don't own a hotel! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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i so would not post this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:08 PM Flag
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this must be a joke, right ? "Steve and I will be having a lot of sex these days, so please don't drop by." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:16 PM Flag
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you can't have sex b/c you have company?> [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:23 PM Flag
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np: i sure as hell don't have sex with dh when inlaws or parents are here. not sure what i would do if ttc but it's never been a problem for us to wait until guests leave. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:26 PM Flag
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I got pg while living at my parents' house (during renovations of my house). My sister got pg with my neice while she was visiting for the weekend and staying at our parents' house. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:34 PM Flag
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good for you. but that doesn't mean others are required to have sex with their parents in the house. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:37 PM Flag
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Why does it take you a month to prepare for houseguests? What are these houseguests expecting from you? If ttc is a priority, you can do it. Figure out when you are ovulating and then do it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:27 PM Flag
[ - ] I am short with olive skin and dark hair. Dh is tall and blond with brown eyes. DB (at 6 months) is very long with blond hair and blue eyes. A cousin insinuated that she thinks we used a donor egg or something. Do people really think this way? DB (at 6 months) looks absolutely nothing like me... One person has already mistaken me for a nanny. 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:49 AM Flag
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Am mexican and DH is blue-eyed and pale skinned. One of our 3 DS's looks nothing like me and if I am out with him people always assume I'm the nanny. It's just how it is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:50 AM Flag
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i know. and i don't care too much. but i am still surprised when it happens because i don't expect it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:52 AM Flag
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I don't think people mean to be insulting. I think it's just a first reaction that children should look like their parents. usually people are so apologetic and embarrassed. Don't you find that ? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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Your cousin is rude and knows nothing about genetics. Ignore. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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DH and I are both dark haired, olive skinned - one of our kids is fair with blond hair and blue eyes and so many people are rude about it. Ignore! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:55 AM Flag
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how are they rude? what do they say? just curious... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:57 AM Flag
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Like "oh, you've been travelling so much and now your wife delivers a blond baby - very suspicious!" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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well that's just a moron trying to be funny and failing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:10 PM Flag
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omigod. that's even more awful that i imagined. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:13 PM Flag
[ - ] ped recommended we see a developmental pediatrician today because he suspects ds has asperger's. anyone have a child with asperger's. i'm interested in knowing what initially led you in the direction of an evaluation. 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Special Needs 07.03.08, 11:48 AM Flag
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my college roommate's son has it. Her son had sensory problems -- couldn't stand noise or crowds; also was a bit obsessive about things (and was very bright) -- he could name all the presidents (and vice presidents!) in order at 2. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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BF's nephew has it. If I recall correctly, he couldn't stand sound, changes in temp, really anything that might get your attention made him either very very upset or very aggressive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:57 AM Flag
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It's a little presumptuous of your ped to tell you he suspects Aspergers...let the dev ped work with you on this. There are lots of "red flags" but that doesn't mean it's aspergers. it could be, but wait until you actually get a diagnosis. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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Its their job to refer to a dev. ped! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:35 PM Flag
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my dc has AS. Go for the eval, it's great your ped suggested it. Many miss it. My dc was different. Very bad tantrums, no interest in peers, spotty eye contact but a ton of language. It presents very differently in kids so your dc might be nothing like this and still have AS or not but good to get it checked out. There are moms on the other board with AS dc's too. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 04:12 PM Flag
[ - ] How do you get baby poop off of clothes? It is so sticky and running it through the washer doesn't seem to help much (I am using Dreft). It leaves a yellow stain. 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:46 AM Flag
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borax [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:48 AM Flag
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i usually rinse it immediately in the sink and scrub it with some dish soap. then i stain stick it and wash it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:48 AM Flag
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rub some laundry detergent on the stain and soak overnight in dreft/water. then wash it. unless it's a horribly huge spot, it will all come out [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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soak it in oxyclean & water [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:51 PM Flag
[ - ] I am so upset. DH and I just got off the phone, he is working and doesn't know when he will be done (this happens all the time, we always have to cancel plans). I told him i'm just waiting to hear from him regarding when we'll leave for the weekend, but of course it upsets me. Then he started saying that we have a real problem because I get upset about his work schedule, and "people who've only been married 3 months" like us shouldn't have problems like this. 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:44 AM Flag
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did you have these problems before you got married? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:46 AM Flag
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somewhat, but they have escalated in the last few months, he's been traveling a lot and has also been in bad moods a lot more. I posted earlier about his constantly asking me if I still love him, and being needy, but I do so much for him and try to alway be understanding. Its impossible to be understanding 100% of the time though [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:50 AM Flag
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Was he like this when you were dating? If so you can't really expect him to change too much. He should try to be more organized so he doesn't leave you hanging around waiting for him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:46 AM Flag
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it isn't organization, it is his job, but I agree that he should try to work on it... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:51 AM Flag
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has his work scheduled changed since you got married. did you have a problem with it before you were married? you sound a little picky. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:47 AM Flag
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how do you mean picky? He is a lawyer so his work schedule isn't entirely up to him. He works incredibly hard and is very very good at his job, so he's often called upon to do extra work and he NEVER says no. That is the really hard thing/ [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:49 AM Flag
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I still don't get your point. He's a lawyer... and... so what. He works hard.... and... so what. Then stop complaining. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:52 AM Flag
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I never said I was complaining. Jeez! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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reread your post [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:54 AM Flag
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I get upset, but I don't complain. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:58 AM Flag
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not sure what the diff is [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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Probably the more fuss you make about him being late the later he will ne to prove his independence from you. If you think he is choosing to stay late you need to sit him down and tell him calmly why it's a problem. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:50 AM Flag
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I try not to make a fuss at all, it is just really frustrating, and I tell him it is fine, not to worry, I'm ready whenever he is, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:53 AM Flag
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have you only been married 3mos? what kind of job does your dh have? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:51 AM Flag
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oh. I see above you said he's a lawyer. I assume he's an associate? possibly in big law? get used to it, honey. Their schedules aren't their own -- that's why they get paid as much as they do. He should work for a while to get experience, then find an inhouse job that is less demanding/more regular hours. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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that is his plan. I am honestly the most supportive wife I can be (his colleagues have commented on it) but it is really difficult when he turns it around and blames me for his having to work - I'm sorry for HIM that he has to work [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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sorry, I know how hard it is. He is under a lot of stress, and I'm sure he is just as annoyed and disappointed as you are that your weekend plans may be spoiled, and unfortunately it only adds to the stress when he feels like he's letting you down. Unfortunately this is just the way it is in big law, and it's best to just learn to live with it until the time (and opportunity) comes to leave. BTDT. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:16 PM Flag
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Just be yourself and accept that you dh has a stressful job. Do not go over the top trying to make him happy or you will end up resenting him and resenting the face that he does not do the same for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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this is what a big-law job is. it stinks i know as my dh is also big-law. wish i had some words of wisdom, but i can only tell you, it doesn't get better. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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but his saying "we have problems" is what has upset me. I don't think we have problems that can't be worked through, or that most other people in the same situation we are in have [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 11:59 AM Flag
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if i read correctly, did you tell him it upset you to wait to hear when you were going to leave? i can see him being frustrated if you can't come to grips with him not having control of his work schedule. he's prob similarly frustrated and it won't help if you heap it on him [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:04 PM Flag
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no, I didn't. I told him that I wasn't happy about the situation but I understand his time isn't his own and I'm just waiting to hear from him. The thing is, when he works so much he's always in a bad mood, but he blames it on me, even though when he's in a bad mood I just try and mkae him happy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:05 PM Flag
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it sounds like he is trying to manipulate you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:15 PM Flag
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Having to work so hard can put anyone in a bad mood; on top of that he probably feels guilty about making you unhappy (b/c of the uncertainty of his schedule). Sorry, but you'll need to adjust your expectations if you both want to survive this period of life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:19 PM Flag
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See - your DH has it exactly opposite. This is EXACTLY the kind of thing people who've been married for 3 months fight about. Once you've been together 10 yrs, you've figured out how to deal with DH's crazy work schedule. I have 3 kids and now the only thing that upsets me is DH not returning phone calls at all or saying he's leaving work right now and not showing up for two hours. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:21 PM Flag
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