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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] going to an impromptu bbq tonight. what's a good pinot noir? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.03.08, 02:16 PM Flag
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anything from the Willamette Valley should be fine [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:17 PM Flag
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Or California Central Coast. Sonoma Coast too. We like La Crema and Moshin. Something with high acidity to go with the bbq fods [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:39 PM Flag
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^^^ foods i mean! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:40 PM Flag
[ - ] my personal experience with those scamming is that they are UMC and know how to cheat or pull strings or can afford a second rent, etc. The issue is about abuse of privilege and NOT racism. 28 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 07.03.08, 02:06 PM Flag
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Of course! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:08 PM Flag
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it's just a nasty mirror on our society where everyone feels it's OK for them to do whatever to get what they want or feel they deserve. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:09 PM Flag
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If anything, the UMC scammers are the racist ones - they are always scamming toward the whiter schools, away from schools that have socioeconomic and ethnic diversity. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:10 PM Flag
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tru dat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:11 PM Flag
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Please tell me where this expression comes from. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:57 PM Flag
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true that [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 03:41 PM Flag
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true [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:11 PM Flag
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true in general, but I think MC parents of kids of color are just as concerned about getting their kids into a elementary school as any other MC parents. Working class parents seem more willing to go to zoned public elementary (keeping young kids closer to home) as long as the elementary is physically safe enough and then push for selective middle and HS based more on merit. No matter where DC go to elementary, it's really all about the value that your family places on the importance of education. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:52 PM Flag
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I agree that the importance of education in your home is the biggest determining factor. You might be right about MC people of color, I just happen to know a lot of UMC/MC white people doing this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:58 PM Flag
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well, you probably know more white MC folks than MC folks of color. But in the end, we are all in the same boat. My point is that we can take a clue from many families of color who place a high value on education (asian, black, hispanic) and not over-stress on early education, which really doesn't make much difference (though as hyper-parents in our hyper-parenting culture, we think it does). If you're in the public system, just be sure DC do well on 4th grade standardized tests, and you're on track for the best selective middle and HS. As long as DC are in a safe place for elementary, and we keep caring and supporting them, it really doesn't matter if they to to Anderson or "TT" private or some basically OK public or private for grade school, as long as they are in a safe place that amplifies our at-home message that school is important. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 03:10 PM Flag
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No, it's about how willing you are to bend your ethics to get what you want. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:59 PM Flag
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it is also about drawing benefit from a school in your community. an AA parent who is working class, and lives in harlem may think its great to have dc in a school around the corner with nabe peers. same for working class white family in Queens. not just about valuing education. its about valuing community as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 03:15 PM Flag
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ITA, and I'm a white mom in a borderline community that's very weirdly divers because it's on the border between UES and East Harlem. poor (and white and not-white) nabe, but our kids who played together as toddlers got tracked into G&T and gen ed. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 03:26 PM Flag
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^^ oy, I didn't express that well, what I meant to say is that DC has nabe pals who did not luck out and are also wonderful, smart kids who attend our not-so-great zoned school. We now have to work harder to get our kids together for playdates. It ought to be easier since we live within 2 blocks of one another, but it's so much easier to do playdates when kids attend the same school (and our DCs both attend the same school building, LL and PS 198! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 04:05 PM Flag
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True but it's a nice smokescreen. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:11 PM Flag
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that is the fantasy, isn't it? truth is, most people who do it may be better educated or in the know (like my nanny and super), but they are not UMC by a very long shot. You people are insane. UMC people do not make there kids lie to get into some crummy gen ed in a better zone. they typically can afford to move and do. the scammers are far less means. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:49 PM Flag
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np: A child in my DC's class is the DD of a nanny in our building. NO ONE has a problem with her mother using their address. But every other person I know who is scamming an address (I personally know 4) is definitely UMC. As I said before, they wanted a bigger apt/brownstone in a "cooler" neighborhood. You know, the edgy neighborhood with all that great "diversity" - "diversity" that they don't want their child sitting next to in class. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:52 PM Flag
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your personal experience is not likely representative of the population of people doing this. btw, how do you define UMC? I am highly doubtful of your definition or experience. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:59 PM Flag
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UMC - incomes of more than $250k. Owners of property that they purchased for more than $1mm. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 03:01 PM Flag
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np: meh...sounds like just MC in NYC. remember, if someone has an apt for $1mm, and needs to sell, they could lose $200K or more in current market. people with families making $250K in NYC cannot afford that sort of loss. You have no idea about finances, I see. btw, you sound extremely envious. why should it be OK for a nanny, and not OK for someone in the situation you describe? nannies are often MC in values. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 03:10 PM Flag
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ITTTTA! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 03:19 PM Flag
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Well, since I'm one of those $250k+ families, I don't think I'm jealous of it. Being MC in values is not the same as having the money to move, other options available. This nanny is a single mother, living in a zone where there is violence at the school. Not just middling test scores and no foreign language program. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 03:40 PM Flag
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maybe some of your MC pals live in zones with violence in the schools. maybe that's why they lie like the nanny. why judge them differently. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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We should focus on the commonality that we all share, regardless of race or class. There is a large % of NYC public school parents (small in relation to 1.1 million students, but large) of all races and classes that want the best for our kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:57 PM Flag
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np: I'm sorry, are you saying that the majority of parents don't want the best for their kids? I'm confused by the "small in relation to 1.1 million students." Because I'm betting nearly ALL parents want the best for their kids, they just might have different means and approaches to getting that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 03:00 PM Flag
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I think most parents if asked would say they want the best for their kids, but I work for a non-profit that helps families that need help navigating the public schools, and although we are constantly way overwhelmed and underfunded, the % of people who take advantage of our free services is just a tiny % of NYC students. I wish we had more funding to do more outreach. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 03:23 PM Flag
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And are willing to lie and cheat to obtain that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 03:00 PM Flag
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you sound like a broken record, and I suspect you are in a good zoned school, and angry that class size is large. truth is, the doe will fill the school via lottery or some other method anyway, and the schools will be bustin at the seams because the city is CROWDED! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 03:18 PM Flag
[ - ] hi everyone, i need some advice abt the ERB. is this test required by all private pre-schools? n when a school is listed as a member of the ERB, it means kids are required to take this test to get admitted? thanks alot!!! 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.03.08, 02:03 PM Flag
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it is required for almost no preschools. it is usually for K. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:06 PM Flag
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oh yes yes i mean k. thx! so when a school requires ERB testing as one of the admission procedures, does it mean its a good school? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:13 PM Flag
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there is no corrolation b/t being a good school and requiring or not requiring the ERB. The only connection you can make is that some progressive schools don't require it. That says nothing about quality, just educational philosophy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:48 PM Flag
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most of the schools require it but many of the progressive schools don't. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 03:16 PM Flag
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np: but trust me, some of these schools will do a very, very thourough examination of your dc. Bank street comes to mind. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 07:05 PM Flag
[ - ] What do you do when your friend flirts with your husband? Has it happened to you? I don't know how seriously I should take it. I have just been a bemused onlooker thus far. Does she think I don't see it? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:58 PM Flag
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I know someone just like this. We all see it and she actually kissed the DH of a close friend during a party. He freaked, she laughed, and the rest of us stared in amazement. I think she probably wants some attention very very badly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:00 PM Flag
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ITA. I have a semi-friend like this. one glass of wine and she gets handsy with the nearest DH. She needs to be the center of attention, positive or negative [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:12 PM Flag
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Yeah. I used to like this woman but this and a number of other things changed my mind. DH said, "When I first saw her, there was all sorts of crazy in her eyes just lookin' to get out !" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:14 PM Flag
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Yes, I have a friend who does this. It never really bothered me (heck, DH IS great!) until she came to help me after I had major surgery. She started cooking all these special meals for her and DH, disciplining the kids in front of him. The last straw was when she suggested that DH get our sitter so that "he could have a break" - by going out to dinner with her! DH said it was all getting a little to Single White Female and it was just easier for him to work from home for the next few weeks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:02 PM Flag
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was she single? were you not worried b/c she wasn't terribly attractive? are you still close friends with her? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:10 PM Flag
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Yes, she's single. I wasn't worried because I thought that her flirting was more that she desperately wants to be married and have a family than she was trying to steal my DH. I also knew that DH finds her annoying and not attractive. We are still friends, but the incident has changed things. I knew DH could take care of himself, but how she started to play mommy with my kids and kept telling me how she was doing things "better" with them - while I was sick as a dog in bad on painkillers! - was beyond acceptable. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:13 PM Flag
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^^Just told DH about your post and how it reminded me of when X visited. He said "You're lucky she wouldn't fit in your clothes, or I would have found her in your lingerie making me a drink." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:33 PM Flag
[ - ] are you really not supposed to eat alfalfa sprouts? I haven't had them in years and for some reason they sounded good. I googled how to wash them and got all this info about how they are big culprits in salmonella outbreaks, and generally you shouldn't eat them. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:58 PM Flag
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i do not eat them [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:00 PM Flag
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because you don't like them or to avoid getting sick? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:06 PM Flag
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I used to like them, but I read about the possibility of ickiness and they are pretty near impossible to wash so I just pass. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:07 PM Flag
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ah. well, I think I'm going to risk it tonight. really wanted turkey/avocado wrap with sprouts. guess I'll try to wash them as best I can and hope it turns out ok [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:09 PM Flag
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odds are you'll be fine. i just stopped years ago (I think there must have been an outbreak) and I haven't ever gone back. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:10 PM Flag
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it does seem like everything I've read online about sprouts/salmonella is from around 1999. I'll hope for the best and try to enjoy my sandwich, I guess! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:11 PM Flag
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throw caution to the wind. put a lot of tomato in there ! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:12 PM Flag
[ - ] I am 24 weeks pregnant with my first and for the past week or two I've been getting cramps. Should i worry about this? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:51 PM Flag
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generally no, but if you get 4-5 in an hour and they don't go away with water and a change in position, usually you should call your doc. its probably just BH, but you want to besure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:55 PM Flag
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ok thanks=] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:05 PM Flag
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Keep well hydrated too [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:40 PM Flag
[ - ] moms who tried cio and it didn't work. what do you do to get your dc to sleep? 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:45 PM Flag
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Patience. My 13 mo still doesn't sleep through the night reliably. I nurse her if she can't settle herself back down on her own. CIO worked with DB #1--it was frustrating that it won't work with #2. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:47 PM Flag
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HOnestly, we stopped stressing about it and let them figure it out for themselves. When they wake up we go in and settle them. We sleep with them. They come in with us. For us, the worst part was the self-recrimination about being bad parents and being incapable. Now it is what it is and we're all happier. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:49 PM Flag
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My son stopped waking in the night only when he was fully weaned at 13mo. Once he was on cows milk and food he slept. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:44 PM Flag
[ - ] Omg, just took a pg test and pg again with #6. I am so excited! No wonder my hairdresser told me my hair was green and had metallic in it. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:44 PM Flag
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Time to log off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:45 PM Flag
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why? b/c someone is living her life differently than you are and has decided to have a large family? you can only communicate with mothers of two or fewer children? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:11 PM Flag
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I don't know how you ladies do it, but congratulations ! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:15 PM Flag
[ - ] has anyone tried Kumon for math enrichment? What was your experience? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:43 PM Flag
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i learned all my multiplication facts real fast. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:57 PM Flag
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My 9 year old ds does it, and I think it is helping. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:06 PM Flag
[ - ] I have a girlfreind and we have a long and sort of rough history with each other, but we're good now. Anyway, she has had one horrible thing afeter another happen to her in the last three months. Bad depressing stuff that just keeps putting more pressure on her and everything like that. Anyway, I have left messages and such, but can you think of a nice gesture / gift / something that will cheer her up and sort of establish that - as far as I am concerned - all the bad blood between us is done with ? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:40 PM Flag
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Well, if your relationship is all good now then leave that issue out of it. Give her a spa day (with babysitting, if it's an issue) if that's the sort of thing she enjoys. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:43 PM Flag
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I wasn't going to mention anything like "all's good now, right?" but I still feel that "Should I or shouldn't I" thing... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:45 PM Flag
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I think the only real risk is if your gift seems gratuitous, like "My life is so great and terrific that I can buy you this fabulous whatever." If money is a stressor in her life, for example, I would offer to babysit her kids so she can just have some downtime. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:49 PM Flag
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No, actually her family earns more than ours does so that wouldn't factor. It's just that I sometimes wonder if she thinks about how crappy it was for a while and if she's harboring anger still while I am not... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:51 PM Flag
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It would be a nice gesture from you and if there are any residual problem between you it might make things better [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:47 PM Flag
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np: I agree. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:48 PM Flag
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OP thank you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 03:09 PM Flag
[ - ] DD just had her 1st round of shots and she fussy and miserable. Should I give her some tylenol or wait for when and if she gets a fever? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Newborn 07.03.08, 01:20 PM Flag
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I would give it now. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:23 PM Flag
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Thanks it is just what I needed to hear [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:29 PM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone know of a place on the UWS (community garden, etc.) that accepts kitchen scraps for compost? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:10 PM Flag
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i think you can take them to one of the green markets. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 06:17 PM Flag
[ - ] what is your point? 0 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:57 PM Flag
[ - ] I do not believe you. To those of you standing on your high moral ground on the school issue, with your dcs firmly in place at a school you like, because you rolled the dice somehow and got lucky: You would cheat the system if it meant getting a seat at a better school for your child. You have not walked that path, and unless you do you do NOT know that you would choose so-called "morals" over the safety and education of your child. But it's very easy for you to point fingers and judge from where you sit. And let's be honest here -- you don't care so much about how kids are getting in, as what types of kids are sitting next to your dcs. And you know it. 41 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:57 PM Flag
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We left NYC, so don't you lecture me. You can keep posting this all day, doesn't make you right. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 12:59 PM Flag
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^^And in the school we used to go to, the only people I knew who were cheating to get into it were upper-middle class people who liked having a bigger apt./brownstone and a "cooler" neighborhood but wanted the "better" school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:00 PM Flag
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NP: ITA. I think I would forgive it more if I thought the truly disadvantaged were gaming the system for their advantage, but the ones that I know have done it in our school have been white and middle class and not necessarily zoned for the worst schools (just not quite as good a school). The indigent, poor, and uneducated (and usually more highly pigmented) families don't really have the wherewithal to figure out how to do this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:19 PM Flag
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lying is lying, regardless of SES. I think if a person is without the ability to move or go private, and their only option is to lie to get into a safe school, then so be it. I would not put my 4-5 yo in an unsafe school. would rather lie than have dc be harmed in any way. if those are the stakes, so be it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:42 PM Flag
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But there are gradations to what can be considered "harm". I think most people would agree that they would not put their dc in a school where they may be physically hurt, but most of the parents doing this are not zoned for the truly unsafe school (there really aren't that many). Are we talking about harm, in that dc will be exposed to dcs who are not as smart, or who do not speak English well, or are different culturally? Or as not as bright as the peer group that the better school has? And if so, is it worth teaching dc to lie in order to do that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:49 PM Flag
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OR: Exactly. None of the mothers I have seen here are at risk of their child being physically hurt or the like. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:59 PM Flag
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read the post below where a 6 yo was sodomized. just sayin... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:52 PM Flag
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Yikes. Well, that's the first I've heard here or IRL of such a situation. Everyone I know is scamming to get from PS 8 into 29 or the like. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:54 PM Flag
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we are at a city wide, and I agree with you. we would have moved for a couplke of years (as allowed by our coop board) to a good zone if it hadn't worked out, and then moved back later. I think if I had no resources, I might consider lying. But if I had the ability finacially to go elsewhere, I would have done that. Mostly because I do not like lying or would not imagine my dc lying about it. so we would have moved, but we would have considered doing something else the next year or moving for good to the new zone. fwiw, you can keep testing dc for G&T. your options may well open up for 1st grade or beyond. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:17 PM Flag
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Yep, that's us - I would've sent DC to not-great zoned for a year or more if bombed tests, then tried again for G&T or unzoned, or if necessary sublet our 1 bedroom in a bad zone and rented an even smaller place we can afford even less in a good zone as long as our coop board would let us do that, then move back. But my last choice would be to lie and make DC lie. But I suppose if my zoned school was truly dangerous, I would consider lying temporarily until I could figure out something else. Ever seen A Tree Grows in Brooklyn? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:39 PM Flag
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dcs are not in place at school yet and no i wouldn't lie. if they don't get into their zoned school, i would move out of nyc - not something i would want to do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:41 PM Flag
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why not just find a small apt in a good zone and try again for G&T? why is everyone so extreme here? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:43 PM Flag
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that could work also. i just meant that i would move before i would cheat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:46 PM Flag
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Because this is UB. Everything is black or white. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:52 PM Flag
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I'm always amazed that people think they know my heart better than I do. I'll do what I can, within the system, to take care of me and mine. But I won't cheat. Period. I think that what you teach your kid by cheating is way more important to his/er overall development than the difference between two schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:44 PM Flag
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depends on type of cheating. I would rent in a good zone temporarily according to the rules required (1 yr or whatever) and then move back, depending on whether I could sell my apt or not. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:47 PM Flag
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Not cheating then according to the DOE rules. You would not have to tell your dc to lie about his address and phone number. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:51 PM Flag
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I agree with you totally. I wonder if these types of "this lie is OK" has always existed or if it's newer. I feel sometimes that we are all so quick to drop our morals for even the slightest gain or advancement and we lose so much more by doing it. It is sad. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:54 PM Flag
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Part of K curriculum is teaching dc to write home address and phone number, which dc will obviously know is not correct. How will you instruct dc to do this, while also trying to teach him that lying is wrong? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:02 PM Flag
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never had them do this at our G&T. maybe its a gen ed thing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:30 PM Flag
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np: LOL! Best obnoxious post of the night. Got in so much with so few words. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:32 PM Flag
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OR: LOL, you're right. I hope the poster was being sarcastic, but I am afraid that she really wasn't. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:37 PM Flag
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I have a way with words, and aimed to cut to the chase. you people are nuts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 03:25 PM Flag
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don't what school your dc attends, but that was NOT part of the curriculum at our school. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:36 PM Flag
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It was at PS116 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:58 PM Flag
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Then its a 116 thing (which doesn't surprise me) - I'm in a D2 general ed and they didn't do that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 03:16 PM Flag
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As is said above, then you are not cheating. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:59 PM Flag
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That's not cheating. That's taking advantage of a silly policy. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 05:06 PM Flag
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ITA! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 06:05 AM Flag
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You would like to think this to justify your own actions. You are wrong - it is that simple. You are wrong. It is your attitude that leads everyone into this ugly situation. You can ba as adament as you want and as combative as you like to try to make yourself feel OK, but your post shows that even you know that it is wrong. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 01:58 PM Flag
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NP and eh, don't judge others if you haven't walked in their shoes. Me, if DC didn't test into G&T I would've sent him to our relatively crappy zoned public for K-2 at least if necessary, but I have an easy kid who would likely do pretty well anywhere, as long as we remained involved. But if I had a kid who really clearly needed a more rarified/customized environment for whatever reason (including minor common special needs) in order to succeed in school, I would move heaven and earth to make that happen, even if I needed to go into debt/move/cheat/lie/sue the DOE or any combination of the above to make that happen.. I would choose the pat [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 04:52 PM Flag
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High moral ground is one very needed thing: MORAL [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 02:05 PM Flag
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If you are taking the high moral ground, there is no reason to lie or cheat. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 05:06 PM Flag
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Believe it or not, I have GRAVE concerns about the lessons I would be treating my child if I told him that the rules about zoning were secondary to my own interests in his education. I will teach my children how to protest rules they find objectionable. I will teach them about openly violating rules that are grossly unfair and accepting the consequences. But sneaking and lying because it is personally beneficial? Not high on my list of lessons for dc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.03.08, 05:05 PM Flag
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Amen! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 05:08 AM Flag
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You bet we would. And they would too. Desperate times call for desperate measures. And if my dc had been stuck her zoned school I would have tried to figure a way out of it. Our fallback was our local parish school but not everyone had that option. We did get lucky but a df's dc did not. I have encouraged her to be an activist on behalf of her child and I'm hoping something comes through. And if they have to temporarily take a studio in the zone, so be it if that's the only way in. She cares more about her dc than about "scamming." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 05:07 AM Flag
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No, I don't know it. We are a spiritual family and believe in karma. I honestly believe that if I lied, cheated, or whatever to get dd into school, it would ultimately be a bad experience. You can keep posting stuff like that to try to alleviate your own guilt, but the reality is that you are breaking the law, sinning (if you have ANY religion, this is a sin in ANY religion), and being dishonest. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 06:04 AM Flag
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well, I'm not religious, and my kids are all in their schools legitimately. I hardly think the people whose kids are in another zoned school are "breaking the law." Come on -- the DOE will send their posse out to arrest moms and dads at pickup on the playground? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 12:54 PM Flag
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I understand that there are some really, really unsafe schools. But are there any of those in safe neighborhoods? No. If you live in a safe neighborhood, then your school is likely safe. Maybe not great, but safe. It's mostly about convenience/quality. It's people lying to get into 199 instead of 145, or something like that. True safety isn't at all the issue, as much as people pretend it is to justify their actions. They want status, white kids, and better test scores. All good things, but they don't justify a crime and a lie the way that physical safety would. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 06:09 AM Flag
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Edited to say: I didn't mean to say status and white kids are good things. I had a longer list there and edited it funny. Better test scores and more special programs was what it was supposed to say. I dont' have a white kid so I'm not particularly interested in that demographic, and status is not an interest either. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 06:13 AM Flag
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There are definitely unsafe middle schools and high schools in so-called safe neighborhoods. Washington Irving High School on Irving Place a few blocks from Gramercy Park is an example. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.04.08, 12:50 PM Flag
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