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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] 3 yo taught himself how to read words by watching leapfrog word factory. He is really interested in words and sounds, what else to get to satisfy his interest? Books for beginner readers or would that be pushing it? are there other videos or word games for that age? 5 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:15 AM Flag
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Hop on Pop is great - as are many of the other Seuss early reader books. you're not pushing it - he is pursuing it. there's a big difference. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:16 AM Flag
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Pull out his old baby books. Those are great for young beginning readers. They get excited if they realize they can read a book that they know. Btw, my ds taught himself to read at 3, too. He loved the leapfrog dvds. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:20 AM Flag
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mine goes around repeating new words all the time "humid, humid, humid." "stylish, stylish, stylish." so i've been trying to make sure i don't talk down to her and when we read together i ask her if she knows what difficult words mean. just engage him. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:21 AM Flag
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My ds loved reading street signs, storefronts and car names at that age. He liked books too, but preferred decoding the signs! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:48 AM Flag
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there's a reading website called www.starfall.com [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:24 AM Flag
[ - ] I can't believe the BS on the schools board...people claiming to be in admissions at "sought-after TT" schools posting supposed gospel on the process and statistics. It just might have cured me of this site. 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.09.08, 08:14 AM Flag
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I know several PSDs and DOAs read UB posts. They may or may not post but they certainly read. Everyone knows their schools are being talked about here and some people who used to work in admissions come here as well. Maybe some fakers but you'd better believe it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:26 AM Flag
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none of these people would ever post here claiming they work in admission and give out "secrets" about the admission process. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:28 AM Flag
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They would not, but the former employees would. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:31 AM Flag
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this particular poster was claiming to be a current admissions person. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:12 AM Flag
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oh, come on. It's all good fun. UB is entertainment. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:27 AM Flag
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I thought the woman last winter who identified herself as "admissions mom" was right on the money about a lot of things. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:19 AM Flag
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I think I know the poster OP is referring to--she basically disputed all conventional wisdom on the process, and not just UB wisdom, but PSD and Parent's League wisdom as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:11 PM Flag
[ - ] potty training Q: my 3 yo dd is almost 100% potty trained... made the switch to big girl panties about 3 weeks ago, but she still will not poop in the potty, just her pull-up. I encourage her to try and poop in the potty, and she's done it once, but usually she tries and gives up (crying and very sad, I might add) and ultimately asks to put on a pull up. As soon as she's done, she's back to panties without accidents for the rest of the day. Is this the last phase of potty training? Or do you think I'm making it worse by giving in to the pull up thing. 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Toddler 07.09.08, 08:08 AM Flag
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it sounds like she's doing great. i would try not to stress her or yourself about it too much. perhaps try offering 2 M&M's for when she poops (and maybe one for simply trying)? also, a couple of good books are "Everyone Poops" and "Where's the Poop?" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:12 AM Flag
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Put a pullup on top of the small potty and see if she'll use that as an intermediate step. But I think she's doing fine-- please tell her she's doing a great job of learning something new and that she'll get it! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:55 AM Flag
[ - ] Do you think more than half the kids come into TT Kindergarten reading already? I heard from a friend (teacher) that a lot of kids come in reading. Do you think she means the kids are reading books on their own? I'm sure few kids read chapter books, but most kids who are readers - are they just reading signs and short words? 70 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 07.09.08, 08:04 AM Flag
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Wide range, and it's all okay. A K teacher at hunter told me more than 1/2 come into K reading (and many of those kids are younger that dc at TTs), but the level of reading varies greatly. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:07 AM Flag
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So, if dc is not reading already, then dc is already behind the 8 ball? And if dc is just beginning to read BOB books, dc is behind half the class? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:11 AM Flag
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it's ALL okay. Really. It means nothing at this point. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:14 AM Flag
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Private schools don't care about reading in K as much as public schools do. Some are reading, some aren't. But "being behind the 8 ball" is ridiculous. Early reading signifies nothing. My dc is now the best reader in his class (3rd grade) and "tests" much better than kids that were reading in pre-K. But couldn't read at all until end of K. And we didn't do anything except continue to read to him and now he loves reading. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:14 AM Flag
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Actually some private schools do care about reading. I have a friend who was asked to get a tutor for reading for her dd for the summer after K. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:16 AM Flag
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Chapin? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:18 AM Flag
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BTW, how do you know your dc is the best reader in class and tests better? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:33 AM Flag
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another mom fo a 3rd grade kid....you know and your kid knows. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:27 AM Flag
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Sometimes early reading signifies nothing, sometimes it signifies a lot. It really depends on how early, the level at which the dc reads, and how the dc learned. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:43 AM Flag
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ITA. Kids who read at 1yo or 2yo - it is meaningful. Kids who read at 4yo, not so much. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:58 AM Flag
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Again, it depends. If the 4 yo is reading with comprehension on a 4th grade level, it's not meaningless. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:29 AM Flag
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Dpm [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:08 AM Flag
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?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:10 AM Flag
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sorry, typo that posted early [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:15 AM Flag
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You worry way to much. My ds just finished kindergarten in a private school in NYC and all of the kids don't read more than short sentences that they're familiar with. Don't listen to these type A parents. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:14 AM Flag
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What school is that? There were definitely a bunch of dc at ours who entered K reading more than just familiar short sentences - and there were many who weren't reading at all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:28 AM Flag
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probably not TT [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:30 AM Flag
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It may have been [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:09 AM Flag
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My #1 is a great reader. I am a type Z parent. I don't think parenting has much to do with early reading success. Granted, there is a minimum amount of exposure/instruction necessary but I think that most kids get that. The ones who read early are just wired for it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:48 AM Flag
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ita. I read to dc once a week but dc still picked up reading. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:01 AM Flag
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We only had friends with older kids (or much younger) so we thought he was in the general area of normal. (I was not UBing back then.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:25 AM Flag
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I couldn't tell you what overall percentage at our TT was reading when they started K, but of those who were there was a huge range. Some emergent readers with a handful of sight words and rudimentary phonics knowledge. Some early readers who could handle simple, BOB-like books. Some were a little more advanced, reading on the level of Frog & Toad, and a few others at the Magic Tree House level. A couple of very advanced readers of the Harry Potter in K ilk. And there were many dc who knew their letters but weren't reading at all. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:17 AM Flag
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harry Potter? holy $hit. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:27 AM Flag
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My point was only to illustrate how wide the range was. Don't let it freak you out. There were many, MANY more dc who didn't read a single word than there were reading at that advanced level. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:30 AM Flag
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The ability to decode Harry Potter is possible in Kindergarten. However, the ability to comprehend what one is reading at that age is nearly impossible. If you put the NY Times in front of some 5 year olds, they can decode every word. However, you can't possibly imagine that they are understanding the fundamental differences between the Democratic and Republican parties at this stage of the election, can you? Reading comprehension is a tremendous part of reading, and if you push your children to read beyond what they are developmentally capable of understanding, you are doing them a huge disservice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:10 AM Flag
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I don't know. I read Little Women at 5 and understood all of the first part (before they "grow up" and get married) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:15 AM Flag
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To be honest, I'm 40 and still don't get why she didn't pick Lawrence over the professor. The professor seems like a downer to me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:19 AM Flag
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lol! I totally agree (though his accent was probably pretty sexy, and she did love Laurie like a brother) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:20 AM Flag
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Her father was away all the time, and she wanted a father figure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:36 AM Flag
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My dh read adult level books at 6yo for fun but they were probably written with Junior High level English - mysteries, thriller books, not War and Peace. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:23 AM Flag
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Of course, and yet there are dc in K who can read and comprehend Harry Potter, or other books on the same level, which I believe is 5th grade for the first book in the series. But HP was just meant as an example. We have a couple of dc like that in my dc's grade at a "tt" ongoing. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:33 AM Flag
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My ds in K got a Calvin and Hobbes book for Christmas. He loved it and would not put it down. I had a talk with him one day and he understood Hobbes is a real tiger for Calvin but a stuffed animal whenever anyone else is around. He started talking about shit in the thread I could not believe a barely five year old could grasp. I was amazed. Two weeks later we built a "transmogrifier" out of some pvc tubes, cardboard, some metal tape and a few odds and ends from my workshop. He set the dial to "LION", pressed the buttons, got in and was heartbroken when he got out and was still a five year old boy. "Daddy, why didn't it change me?" He wanted to know. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 02:48 PM Flag
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My dd is starting K in the fall -- she was the only one in her preschool class who could read. She probably reads at second- or third-grade level by now. The school will have to accommodate all of the different reading levels in the class. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:52 AM Flag
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What level did she leave K reading? I can tell you based on that what grade level she is on. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:30 AM Flag
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She hasn't started K yet -- she just finished preschool. She is reading Magic Tree House level books -- loves things like Puzzle Pyramid and Puzzle Castle. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:37 AM Flag
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Those are not really the type of books I'd recommend, but do what you need to do. Puzzle Pyramid and Puzzle Castle are not quality books. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:46 AM Flag
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Why not? My dd also loved them in her last year of preschool [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 01:00 PM Flag
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np. MTH books all have the reading level on the back cover. Most of them are mid- to late-2nd grade level. Look for something like RL: 2.3. That means the reading level = the 3rd month of 2nd grade. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:56 AM Flag
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Those reading levels are not in line with the current reading levels used by all DOE schools and private schools. The Fountas/Pinnell leveling system is different than what the book publishers claim the levels to be. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 02:05 PM Flag
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As an early childhood teacher, I think all of you should care less about what the other children are doing and focus on your own individual child. The more you pressure the child, the more he/she will feel frustrated about his/her abilities or inabilities, specifically with literacy. Children grow and learn at different paces, and it is ridiculous to compare them to their peers at such a young age. Please, do yourselves a HUGE favor: PARENT THE CHILD YOU HAVE, NOT THE CHILD YOU DON'T! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:52 AM Flag
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Please don't yell at me, OK? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:54 AM Flag
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I'm not yelling at you, but please realize that by comparing your child to everyone else and worrying about everyone else you are wasting valuable time that could be spent reading to and with your child! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:55 AM Flag
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OK, but I am not the OP. My preschool dd reads really well, and I don't really care about the other dcs. I just hope that when she gets into K, they are able to make things helpful and interesting for her, too, because she's way past K-level phonics. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:59 AM Flag
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I understand what you are saying, but there is a big difference between phonics and phonemic awareness. Your child will learn based on the curriculum at the school you have chosen to attend. Please keep in mind that initially, all children begin to read at different paces, just like children crawl, walk, talk, etc. at different ages. However, at some point (usually around grade 2) everyone sort of levels off and comes into their own. Just read with your child, let him/her explore books and build stories based on pictures, and don't push it. The more you push the more he/she will reject reading. TRUST ME! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:04 AM Flag
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NP: Thank you. It is really hard in this city though especially when so many people are invested in proving their child's intelligence by "early" reading. I try to be relaxed myself & just enjoy my dc, but I admit that sometimes it is hard. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:08 AM Flag
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I hear you but "leveling out" is a myth. Sure, all kids learn to read at some point. But kids who learn faster than others will remain so. But I'm not talking about reading here, just intelligence in general and not talking about accuracy of 4yo's. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:14 AM Flag
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She was talking about reading and often the latest readers end up at the highest level [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:14 AM Flag
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Latest readers become highest level readers often? I don't believe it. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:19 AM Flag
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Are you a teacher? Because if you were, you'd believe this. It's true. I've been teaching 15 years and sometimes the lowest reader in the class in K is the highest reader in the class by grade 1 or 2. Not all the time, but sometimes. There are no ultimate truths with children, especially when it comes to literacy. So many of you probably think your child is a strong reader when really he/she is simply recalling sight words that he/she has seen so often: in games, videos, books, flashcards, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:24 AM Flag
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np: I find it hard to believe. From my experience and my kids so far, the strong kids in K are still strong in fourth grade. It was the same when I grew up. I don't say it never happens that child struggling in K is a star by 5th grade but you can't tell me that is the common pattern. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:29 AM Flag
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I didn't say its common, but I said it DOES happen. Sometimes that child is young (late birthday) and just needs more time. Sometimes he/she needs some intervention and then he/she takes off. Sometimes they need the whole experience of school for the social and academic benefits so that he/she can thrive b/c he/she hasn't had any school experience. You never know--which is why you can't generalize. I just had a 5th grader graduate who was reading on a K level at the end of grade 2, and now he is going to East Side Middle. Go figure. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:32 AM Flag
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Often? More like sometimes, or even rarely. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:35 AM Flag
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It actually happens rather often. Reading is developmental. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 02:08 PM Flag
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From a mom of early reader: Believe me, there are so many things going on a K, an early reader will still have things will challenge him/her. Reading is just one part of the curriculum, and I just made sure that dc had books at home that would be interesting. Also, dc would happily read any good children's book at that age, so even really good engaging picture books/beginning chapter books were fine to engage dc's interest even though dc could read more complicated books. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:05 AM Flag
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np: My early reader loved to read to his little brother. (By loved I mean he did it when I cajoled him. But then he didn't stop until called away.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:01 AM Flag
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Thank you for this post -- voice of reason. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 02:21 PM Flag
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omg! you are a freak. gl to your kid [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:05 AM Flag
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Are you kidding? I think she's one of the few sane parents on here! The rest of you are more concerned with your reputation after your kids get shut out of top tier schools than actually helping your child. Talk about self-absorbed! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:08 AM Flag
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I doubt it is more than 1/2, but since many of the dc are 6 & some kids do learn in preK it is probably close to 1/2 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:55 AM Flag
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What is so funny about all these comments and all of you who stress about TT schools is that you don't realize you are paying $30/k for teachers who are often NOT CERTIFIED! Do you know that many of the TT schools do not require a license or even a Master's degree of their teachers? What kind of standards is that holding them, and the school to? If nothing else, the teachers in the DOE have a Master's AND are certified by NYS, with regulations and expectations held unto them. While that doesn't mean that every DOE teacher is a good teacher, it is certainly a distinction from the teachers at TT schools with a B.S. or B.A. degree and nothing else. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:29 AM Flag
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and yet, some of them still are bad, while some "uncertified" teachers are great. I think there are many amazing teachers at public schools, but there are many amazing teachers at private ones as well. There are good and bad at each. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:33 AM Flag
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everything that you say is true; however, what is also true is that it is virtually impossible to fire a NYC teacher. You can have a teacher with every certification in the world, but they could still be a bad teacher. Private schools have the flexibility to hire and fire (or at least not renew the contract) of their teachers, which is a huge advantage. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:39 AM Flag
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Yes and no. Any principal who wants to do the legwork can have a teacher fired or even have his/her license revoked. I've seen it happen. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 06:11 PM Flag
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LOL! I was a NY public school teacher and certification means very little. While it is true that you teach at a private with only a BA/BA most teachers have masters, many have multiple masters, and many have PhDs. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 02:10 PM Flag
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You are correct, however what qualifies them to be a teacher if they haven't had any formalized training in education? 30k is a lot of money to pay someone with a degree in Criminal Justice to teach 1st grade...and I know someone teaching at almost every TT school with a joke of a B.A. or B.S. degree, so please don't tell me how over-qualified your child's teacher is. The fact of the matter is that very few private school teachers have a license. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 06:10 PM Flag
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Around half can read real books imo. Probably only half of those read pictureless chapter books fluently. Most kids can read three letter words and some sings at that age in the tt Ks. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:46 AM Flag
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from my experience (2 dcs at tt) a little more than half can read well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:48 AM Flag
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As a parent, your idea of reading well is always going to be different than that of a professional. You are all making up these statistics about your children's classes and schools that are so arbitrary. How do you know how well 1/2 the class read? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 02:06 PM Flag
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np: We are in public but there is reading evaluation and following that kids are assigned a color coded reading group and based on that they pick books to read. The highest group reads pretty sophisticated chapter books, the lowest level 1 and 2 books. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 06:45 AM Flag
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Why all the anxiety? I'm all grown up now and thank goodness I can read! I didn't start reading until 1st grade, and I was in Advanced Placement French in highschool reading the great literature. In public schools. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 06:37 AM Flag
[ - ] I've realized that I look quite a bit like Renee Z in the Bridget Jones movies. Does that mean I am fat or just normal/not thin? 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:02 AM Flag
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^^ Serious question, btw. I have a hx of eating d/o and still have a distorted body image sometimes. Would appreciate some sane perspective. TIA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:09 AM Flag
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I'd say normal. And btw, Bridget didn't do that badly in the men dept either. She was abls to snag Hugh Grant (jerk, I know, but cute) and Colin Firth. So, I'd say normal body type and as Hugh would say - You're so sexy Bridg. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:11 AM Flag
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You're "normal" which is actually thin compared to the average person. I know what you mean - I am 5'7 and wear a size 6 but am not "thin", and probably resemble Bridget Jones a lot too, and I've also struggled with eating disorders, but my dh loves me and tells me I'm beautiful, and I am very healthy, so I'm happy with myself. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:10 AM Flag
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^^ you're my twin. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:33 AM Flag
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I'm sure there are a lot of us out there. I'm happy with myself overall (of course when i see myself in a bathing suit next to a skinny 20yo i get a little self-conscious, but who doesn't?) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:40 AM Flag
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OP: thanks. This is helpful. I was having a bit of a panic. I mean, I certainly do not strive for Renee Z's anorexic/bulimic look that she seems to have as her current baseline. But I wasn't sure about the other. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:15 AM Flag
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Honestly, you sound healthy. Do you eat sensibly and get some exercise (not for weight but for health reasons)? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:16 AM Flag
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Need to get more exercise - I know that when I do it keeps me more sane. Eating is okay - not super controlled or restrictive, and for me that's a good thing. Could do with a bit fewer simple carbs and more veggies like most of us... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:17 AM Flag
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You sound fine, just don't worry about it and enjoy life [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:23 AM Flag
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Thanks! Just had a moment of panic ;-) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:24 AM Flag
[ - ] Thank goodness for no more Anderson/NEST posts. 3 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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NY Schools 07.09.08, 08:01 AM Flag
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good thing you just started one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:06 AM Flag
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Don't worry.. people like you will keep the posts alive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:27 AM Flag
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You need to make an appt with your shrink so you can talk about your jealousies [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 06:48 PM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone have Obgyns who take Blue Cross Blue Shield who they'd recommend? I'm in Brooklyn and I need a Doc who will communicate with other specialists I'm seeing (who do not take BCBS)? 8 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:57 AM Flag
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any hospital affiliation pref? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:58 AM Flag
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no hospital affiliation pref [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:09 AM Flag
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Dr. Donald Matheson. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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Thanks! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:13 PM Flag
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i know several, but all UES affililated w Cornell which may not be so convenient for you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:00 PM Flag
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is Cornell "Cornell Weill Medical Center"? I might be able to do that. What is "UES"? sorry to be so dim...and... TIA! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:13 PM Flag
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Yes, and Upper East Side [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:14 PM Flag
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ok, got it. Do you have an obgyn you particularly like whose affiliated w. Cornell? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:19 PM Flag
[ - ] wwyd... I'm 42, dd is 3. Have been ttc #2 for 18 months, can't afford IVF, considering trying IUI w/injectibles (Cornell). Also, living in a relatively small rental in Forest Hills. Been looking for houses in lower Westchester, but having a hard time finding something we like (right town, affordable, close commute, blah, blah...)after doing the math, we are realizing, that we have to make a choice: either move now and forget about #2 or... continue renting for the forseable future and go for #2 12 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:54 AM Flag
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those are some pretty major life decisions to be asking about on a message board. IMO. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:56 AM Flag
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yes, of course this is not the only place I'm going for advice!! (therapist, friends, family, etc...) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:57 AM Flag
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Are you comfortable in your current home, would you have room there for another child? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:56 AM Flag
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no, we'd move to a bigger rental [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:58 AM Flag
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ok. You really need to decide for yourself (and dh as well) if you really want a 2nd child. What are your school options (public good where you are?) can you afford a 2nd db? Buying a home now isn't ideal, but in the next year or so you might get a good deal as things cool off. Its important to have some equity if you possibly can, but you have to weight the costs of not having a second child if that's super important to you. FWIW, I am a very happy only [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:59 AM Flag
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well, you can always find a house but you are running out of time to have a db. I mean you won't nec give up your dream of home ownership by getting pg but it sounds like you are choosing a house over a child if you buy now - & prices will just keep going down :) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:58 AM Flag
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I agree. In a year you'll probably be able to afford what you want. I've read nothing to indicate that the housing bubble has stabilized at all yet. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:06 AM Flag
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what will matter more to you when you are 60? also, i would encourage you to add acupuncture and tcm to your efforts (that's what pushed me into success with iui with injectibles - i used dr. mike berkley at the berkley center for reproductive wellness). [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:00 AM Flag
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you can always buy a house, can't always have another baby [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:03 AM Flag
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It sounds like you really want #2. You have to try or else you'll regret it for the rest of your life. But consider this: financially you're not satisfied right now, so if it happens, it happens. If not, it's not the end of the world. You have a great 3 person family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:05 AM Flag
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I would try IUI because you might regret not trying, but recognize that you might end up with only one child anyway. WHICH IS FINE. Try for a short time and then turn your attention to real estate. You are not going to miss the perfect thing and renting is fine anyway, especially since you're in FH and probably have a decent school situation. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:53 AM Flag
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i got pg at 42 with iui - gl - I think you want another baby. try 3 times maybe with iui [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:30 AM Flag
[ - ] how do you manage to get your 8yo to school 15 or more minutes late 60 days out of the school year? 25 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:46 AM Flag
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well, i'm the OP from the thread I believe you're referring to. Two things: 1) life (and shit) happens and 2) she wasn't "15 or more minutes late" 60 days. But if you're not referring to me, then I'll just wait for the correct response. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:53 AM Flag
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I was referring to you. I know life (and shit) happens, but life is also about getting you stuff together to be at places ontime, especially school and work, and you're not doing anyone any favors by not getting it together enough to get your dd to school ontime. It sounded from your post like she was late enough to be marked tardy 30 days and absent 30 days, which has to be at least more that 5 minutes late. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:55 AM Flag
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I understand being late is not the ideal. I have not once defended or tried to excuse the lateness, except to say there were extenuating circumstances which I'd rather not discuss on a message board. She has a "clean" record before last year and 4th grade will be on track. You also seem to assume that our school has accurate, consistent attendance-tracking measures, which it is now clear to me is not the case. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:02 AM Flag
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Clearly the school isn't accurate, and I'm sorry for that (and that they marked her absent when she was merely tardy) - but still, for all your sakes I hope you all can be on time in the future. I'm speaking as a primary school teacher and I understand that there are extenuating circumstances from time to time, but it is very disruptive to everyone - especially your daughter - to be late so frequently. Good luck to all of you [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:04 AM Flag
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Actually, your school has a serious problem in how they track attendance if this happened. We've also had our dc run up to his classroom if we are 3 or 4 minutes late without stopping at the office, but that's because the attendance has not yet been taking and his classroom teacher didn't care. But, once classroom attendance is taken, it is the teacher's obligation to require a late pass from the kid (which needs to be obtained at the office). If the teacher doesn't, he/she is being lax. This is a safety issue, since if there's no record of dc being in school, if dc was missing, no one would know. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:05 AM Flag
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You sound so santimonious! We live 3 minutes away from our school & the first year my dd was late more often then I or the school liked - it happens. Some of it is circumstance some of it is the child's (or the mom's) personality. She just took a loooon time to learn to organize herself in the morning. My ds on the other hand has, from day one, been standig at the door ready to go 15 mins before time to go. Diff kids, diff morning dynamics. Who are you to be so Judge Judy? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:19 AM Flag
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np - K or 1st grade is one thing, by 3rd kids and parents should have a routine down pretty well. Occasional lateness is one thing, but continual tardiness is a whole 'nother issue. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:22 AM Flag
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np: I don't get this. There were two chronically late families in DS's class last year. One of them has only one child, and doesn't have him full-time, lives close enough to the school, and she doesn't have a job to get to. I just don't get it. It does the child a complete disservice to allow that to go on. And for the record, I have two young kids and most days dh is gone by 5:30 when I get up, so I'm doing it by myself. My oldest is an extremely difficult kid much of the time. I really feel like if we can make it, almost anyone can. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:31 AM Flag
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np: It is just not a priority for a lot of families, they could not care less. They also are late for pick-up, so the teacher has to stand there with their dc in freezing cold in the yard. And then they wonder why teacher does not jump when they ask for favors. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:41 AM Flag
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that's what is wrong with som many people in this country - they assume that everyone is perfectly happy to work with whatever schedule they like, and never consider how their behavior affects others [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:43 AM Flag
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I also think that parents who are consistently late teach their kids that lateness is okay. It teaches a habit that at heart is inconsiderate of other people's time. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:44 AM Flag
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ITA [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:48 AM Flag
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Then why didn't you, as the parent, give her extra time in the a.m. or have her get organized with some of the stuff the night before? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:33 AM Flag
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nnp: Lateness is really disruptive to the class, and you should get your act together. Yes it happens once in a while but there is no excuse to be late on regular basis and not even care. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:40 AM Flag
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As a teacher and a parent, I believe there is no excuse for excessive lateness. Yes, things happen and sometimes you are running a few minutes late with a child. However, I have had lots of students who have never once been late for school with multiple children in the household and a single parent, and I've had others with 2 parents where the child is late 120 out of 180 school days (and absent approx. 40 times) and there is JUST NO EXCUSE! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:50 AM Flag
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op - this was exactly my point. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:51 AM Flag
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This is like saying if some people can do it, why can't everyone? The fact is that some people are good at certain things - and morning organization, discipline, etc. is one of them - and others are not. And those people who ARE good at it, may not be good at 10 other things. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:56 AM Flag
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I understand a learning period and struggling to adjust to a new school, but by 3rd grade you should have it together enough not to be late chronically. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:57 AM Flag
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but what i am saying is that some people are never going to be good at something - it's not about "enough practice". And I'm not saying it's not inconsiderate of others or something to be ignored. What I am saying is that this idea that "anyone should be able to get it together to be on time" is just not true. Like anything else in life, there will always be people who just can't. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:03 AM Flag
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Getting organized isn't something that needs "enough practice" - it requires a change in routine, working on things, etc. Even if it means you have to wake up at 5am to manage it, that's what you do, because it is required that you get your child to school ontime, get to work ontime, etc. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:04 AM Flag
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Being organized is a skill like any other and it is usually those who have it who cannot understand NOT having it, but it is a skill and one that some people never master. Again, I am not saying that people shouldn't TRY to master this skill, but not being able to recognize that some people are unable to is pretty closed-minded. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:10 AM Flag
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But would you allow your kid to be consistently rude to others? That is what chronic lateness is. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:58 AM Flag
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obviously these people don't care about that [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:59 AM Flag
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When you become a parent, you have an obligation to do certain things. One of them, by law, is to bring your children to school. Excessive lateness and absences are considered to be educational neglect, and can and are reported on a regular basis to ACS. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:02 AM Flag
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and by 3rd grade you really should have your $hit together, no matter what! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:03 AM Flag
[ - ] Does anyone have dc 6 years apart? What are the pros and cons? 9 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:43 AM Flag
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I have 2 ds's nearly 6 yrs apart. Now 8.5 and (almost) 3 and finally do play together. The transition was very easy -- no jealousy by older ds, he was ready for a sibling and he was starting 1st grade right after ds #2 birth, so had his own life. That gave me lots of time to spend with ds #2 alone, and also had a sitter so I could spend afternoons with ds #1 alone sometimes. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:46 AM Flag
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sounds good. Does anyone think that 2nd ds is from another marriage? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:48 AM Flag
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Just saw your 2nd question. That's odd, never even occurred to anyone -- does it matter? In my case, both ds' look so much alike I don't think that would come up, and also people have known dh and me for a long time. But even if they did, who cares? Would be nice even if from 2 marriages. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:51 AM Flag
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I have cousins who are 6 years apart, as are DH and his sister. In both cases the older sibling loved having a "baby" to help with, there wasn't a lot of jealousy and difficulty sharing things because they were at very different stages. My dh and his sister were very close as kids but when she went to college they were not as close, and now they're friendly but not close siblings (though that could be because she's crazy as well). My cousins are very good friends at ages 15 and 21. Older boy in this case, younger girl [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:54 AM Flag
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Cons are that you are starting all over again after forgetting everything about a newborn. And, for vacations, they don't really do same things and we sometimes separate with dh taking one and me another for a few hours (like older ds likes museums, but younger can't last, etc.) But cons aren't too bad, and ds really likes having a little brother. The funny thing is all his friends like playing with the little brother, too -- they are now old enough to think ds #2 is entertaining, as opposed to ds #2 annoying them. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:49 AM Flag
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That's what I was hoping. I waited a long time because I didn't want the stress of 2 toddlers and now they can both get the attention that my 1st one got. My closest sibling is 5 years older and I felt like an only child and loved it as a kid. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:52 AM Flag
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I have one that is 9 yrs older than youngest but have a middle dc 4 yrs older than youngest (& 5 yrs younger than oldest for those doing the math). The 9 yr diff is easier than the 5 yr since she is like another babysitter for me & they worship her. The 5 yr diff was not really a problem till recently (they are 4 & 9 now) where they squabble like normal siblings and he doesn't want her tagging around when he has playdates but I think that would happen w/any age range. Pros are there is no jealousy or rivalry & you can concentrate on each child individually, even the "con" that you do end up doing things separately is actually good since it gives you time w/each child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 07:55 AM Flag
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a little different because we adopted a toddler and have a 7 yo - so 5.5 year difference. It has been great - agree with everything other posters have to say. I would add that I'm really surprised at how much interaction they had right away - I thought 18 month old would be too young for that. They really can play together. And 7 yo is huge help, at playground and at home. I wouldn't have chosen this gap but it's working out really well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:22 AM Flag
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np: these responses are so great to hear. ds1 will be 4.6 yo when ds2 arrives this fall and i was wondering how the age difference would play out. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:40 AM Flag
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