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Dear UrbanBaby community,

Thank you so much for being a valued member of the UrbanBaby community. We wanted to inform you that we are shutting down the site on July 6th. We are grateful for your participation and support that has helped make UrbanBaby such an important resource to parents for many years.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can email us at urbanbaby-support@cbsinteractive.com.

Thanks so much,

UrbanBaby Support

[ - ] Is it me or are toddlers off the wall in this heat? Mine is doing anything but listening today, normally very responsive 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:48 AM Flag
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Mine seems pretty unaffected--I have to say. He's constantly a ball of sweat, but behavior is same old, same old. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:55 AM Flag
[ - ] Housekeeping question: I splattered some bleach at the bottom of a pair of new dark brown pants. What can I do to fix it? The RIT dye people say their product does not work over bleach stains. tia! 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:43 AM Flag
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Make them capris. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:47 AM Flag
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they are capris! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:49 AM Flag
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shorts... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:57 AM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:45 AM Flag
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permanant brown marker [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:48 AM Flag
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that may be the best solution. I'll just have to reapply after every wash thx [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:49 AM Flag
[ - ] doorman is constantly tickling 16 mo db (arms, legs, chest, etc) every time we exit/enter building. I am really not crazy about this but I know he means no harm and don't want to offend him. WWYD? 6 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:42 AM Flag
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Let it go unless it bothers db. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:43 AM Flag
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there is not really a way to know if it bothers db, since laughing during tickling is basically involunatary. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:16 AM Flag
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I'd say "careful, he has a skin condition, it's super contagious" next time [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:43 AM Flag
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why does this botehr you? Is it something creepy about the doorman? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:54 AM Flag
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That would annoy me -- in general I don't like tickling because I think it bothers many kids but because they "laugh" from the tickling it seems like they enjoy it. I'd try to come in very quickly and say hi without stopping to avoid the opportunity. It's not about it being a doorman, it's about people doing this constantly. I know grandmotherly types who are neighbors who also do this. The problem with the doorman is it is harder to avoid since you see him alot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:02 AM Flag
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He just wants a good holiday bonus and is starting the prep early [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:18 AM Flag
[ - ] Running moms: How far do you generally run and, also, how often do you slow down to a walk while you are running? Thank you! 4 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:42 AM Flag
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Three miles. I fast walk for one minute and then run for thirty. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:44 AM Flag
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without ever needing to slow down even once? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:04 AM Flag
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i go in waves, but when i am in running mode I run 15-20 miles/wk. I will often walk once or twice for a block or two during those runs, but that's more mental than anything else. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:46 AM Flag
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what does it do for you mentally? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:04 AM Flag
[ - ] As we're discussing reading, dd is going into Grade 3 in September. She can read fine, has always loved being read to, but I just cannot seem to get her interested in reading by herself. I worry because dh and I love to read and I want her to have that pleasure. She is animal-crazy - any suggestions? 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.09.08, 09:38 AM Flag
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give it time, she just finished 2nd grade...she'll see you and dh reading, she'll most likely pick it up as a pastime but that's still a little young for recreational reading [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:42 AM Flag
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what happens if you read together? she reads one character, you read another, for example [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:42 AM Flag
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does she like horses? I know they're not great lit, but the saddle club books are easy reading and fun for that age [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:43 AM Flag
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BookMom: have her read paragraphs interspersed with your reading: "you read to me, then I'll read to you." Is she an only? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:44 AM Flag
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^^^^also, what books has she really enjoyed having you read to her and what books was she reading in school, so I can get an idea of her reading level..... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:46 AM Flag
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she's reading things like Charlotte's Web at school...enjoys Judy Moody books..something with a sense of humor I think [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:53 AM Flag
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Have her read the other E.B. White books, Stuart Little, Trumpet of the Swan. She also may like the Narnia books, particularly "the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" since it also has talking animals. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:57 AM Flag
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Bookmom: a few book ideas for you: The Mouse and the Motorcycle and the Ramona books by Cleary, Ginger Pye and Pinky Pye by Estes, Tale of Desperaux by Di Camillo, The Incredible Journey ( 3 animals traverse the Canadian Wilderness) and Mrs Frisby and the Rats of Nimh (some of these are a touch harder than others and my be good sharing books for you). For some fun, but easier books try Katie Kazzo, the Horrible Harry series, the Littles, Chocolate Fever [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:22 AM Flag
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^^^Katie Kazoo [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:22 AM Flag
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thank you....I am writing these all down. You're very kind. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:31 AM Flag
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you are welcome...enjoy! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:41 AM Flag
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she is an only child? do you think that makes a differrence? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:49 AM Flag
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yes, an ly only might know that you or dh will always read to her..no need to divide attention, so no incentive to read on her own in order to finish a book or hear a story... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:08 AM Flag
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I really doubt that. It's not been the case in my and many other families I know. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:45 AM Flag
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When she does something good, as a reward, get her a gift card and take her to Bank Street Books on 111th and Broadway. Tell her it can't be for toys or 50/50 toys/books. Let her pick her own books. You are going to want to "change her mind" about some/all of them. Fight this urge. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:46 AM Flag
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Have you bouth her books about animals like All Creatures Great and Small? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:56 AM Flag
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Is there some exciting book that you can start at night, but it's so good that she'll want to read more herself so she doesn't have to wait until the next "read aloud"? It would have to be at her level. I don't think going into 3rd grade is too young for kids reading themselves -- I have a ds who loves to read and read everything and anything at that age. But he had friends who could read at very advanced levels but didn't like to read on their on. They now read graphic novels. Some kids just aren't that into reading, and some are. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:56 AM Flag
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nonfiction books about animals, National Geographic mag has a version for kids [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:47 AM Flag
[ - ] question -- if your stylist is the owner of the salon, do you still tip him? What percentage? I always get confused by this........ 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:38 AM Flag
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i don't tip the owner, but i do tip the other staff that work on me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:39 AM Flag
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Mine is the owner and I do not tip him, but I do tip the person who shampoos me. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:11 AM Flag
[ - ] playdate happening next week with 4 kids from my DD's new K. i assumed it would be moms, but people are sending nannies. i did not mean to invite the nannies. 21 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.09.08, 09:37 AM Flag
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why did you assume it would be moms? Maybe the moms work and can't take my child on playdates during the week....... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:40 AM Flag
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so what? you want the kids to meet primarily. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:40 AM Flag
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People work, shocking isn't it? Isn't the playdate for the kids to meet? And it is good for you to meet the nannies if you want to do playdates next year, you get to see them in action before you decide if you want to let your dc go to their house on a playdate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:45 AM Flag
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especially since at that age a lot of playdates are drop off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:46 AM Flag
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Exactly, but it sounds like OP is looking for new friends for her. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:47 AM Flag
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yes, it does. but that is a separate issue. if she want to meet parents, she probably needs to do iton the weekend or have an evening meet up [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:50 AM Flag
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She should wait with that until the fall. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:51 AM Flag
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our K hosted an evening meet for paretns adn kids in the park. that might work for what OP wants. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:55 AM Flag
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So did ours, but that was in June before the summer started. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:08 AM Flag
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ittttta [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:46 AM Flag
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^^^but, try to find at least one or two sahm to attend also [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:47 AM Flag
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most nannies are probably better parents than the moms anyway [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:49 AM Flag
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then you should have had the playdate on a weekend. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:49 AM Flag
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np: Not great in the summer, many people go away. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:50 AM Flag
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nnp: what about early evening? many wohm can do like a 5:30-7pm dinner playdate. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:54 AM Flag
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5:30 is quite early and most people have more than 1 dc so I don't think that's great either. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:01 AM Flag
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well nothing is ever going to work for everyone. you can't do much later in the evening bc then some people's kids go to bed, etc. i'm just saying that on a weekday, a wohm can leave work a bit earlier than usual for an evening function versus taking a day off. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 11:11 AM Flag
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eew. i don't like you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:52 AM Flag
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Well, if you schedule it for a day I'm working, what else can I do? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:54 AM Flag
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I'm usually really clear when I set up playdates. I will say something like this: ds and I are free on Wed. if you and your ds are free to meet. If you aren't, maybe we can find another time for our sitters to get togehter with the kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:58 AM Flag
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Is this more about you than your dc? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:59 AM Flag
[ - ] Need to buy a lightweight double stroller for 2.5yo and 3mo. Ideally would like one that reclines all the way for baby to sleep? Debating betweeen Maclaren Twin Triumph and Combi twin savvy. Do these recline? Any recommendations? 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:30 AM Flag
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personally, I liked the Peg Perego Aria better than either of those 2 when we got one 3 years ago for an 18 month old and a 3 mo. I'm a big fan of the single Maclarens, but the individual handles on the twin stroller felt uncofortable and harder to push. I also liked the bigger underbasket on the Aria and the fold feature versus both the Maclaren & the Combi twins. Of course, it's been a while and things may have changed! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:34 AM Flag
[ - ] bf buys you a handbag for 2K for your bday. you really don't love it, but love a different one in the same store. would you exchange it or keep it because he "asked the store to pick one for you"? 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.09.08, 09:24 AM Flag
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I would exchange [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:25 AM Flag
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exchange it of course -- why keep soemthing you don't love? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:25 AM Flag
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i would be worried he would take offense, like i didn't like his gift, even though he didn't pick it [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:29 AM Flag
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explain your pov to him [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:32 AM Flag
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spin it: "i really liked it, but i was just in that store last week and had fallen in love with this other bag. would you be terribly disappointed if i exchanged it?" [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:53 AM Flag
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For 2K, he will want to see you use it a lot. So I would exchange for something I love. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:26 AM Flag
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I would dump him, return the bag for the money, and take a nice vacation or buy something worth 2k [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:35 AM Flag
[ - ] friend of mine is potty training her daughter at 17 mo. I thought this was usually started at a later age, but am I behind the ball on this with my dc (also 17 mo)? 2 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:22 AM Flag
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Your friend is a nut looking for a gold medal. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:23 AM Flag
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Ah, these potty metaphors are so creative. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:24 AM Flag
[ - ] What are the reasons why incest is outlawed? I understand that from a genetic point of view there are quite a few risks but besides that? Just curious. 19 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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New York City 07.09.08, 09:20 AM Flag
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Why is anything outlawed and society has values and decides to create rules. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:21 AM Flag
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Most of those rules are based on the fact that whatever they prohibit is endangering society as we know it. But I see your point. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:24 AM Flag
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It is taboo in every culture known to man. (If I remember correctly it is the one universal taboo. I can't believe infanticide isn't also but it has been a lot of years since SOC101 and that is what I remember.) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:28 AM Flag
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not to the yanomamo its not [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:02 AM Flag
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what's that? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:03 AM Flag
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nor ancient egyptians. sibling marriage was common among the aristocracy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:03 AM Flag
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Where the hell were you 15 years ago? -or [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:11 AM Flag
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I was 10... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:12 PM Flag
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That old excuse. "Sorry I can't help with your Sociology paper... I'm only ten." [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 09:05 AM Flag
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Genetic risk is not small. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:02 AM Flag
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^^^The types of genetic diseases that can be brought out by this can be devastating to the family, and a huge financial drain for society to care for these kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:03 AM Flag
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society needs to care for these kids? that's a stretch [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:05 AM Flag
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Medicaid [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:11 PM Flag
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is it really against the law? its creepy but is it illegal? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:04 AM Flag
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its illegal for the underage. for adults, i don't think its illegal, but you can't amrry your close relatives. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:05 AM Flag
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Nope but gov't obviously can't stop you from procreating with them should you choose to. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:10 PM Flag
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Having trouble with your weekend plans? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:03 PM Flag
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In general the genetic risks from one instance are not great. It's small inbred communities where recessive traits start getting expressed - think the Amish, Hasidic, Appalachia, small remote villages all over the world. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 12:32 PM Flag
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Its explicitly forbidden in the Torah (Old Testament). Don't know about other religious texts. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 08:58 AM Flag
[ - ] Any regret having dc? Honestly.... 10 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:17 AM Flag
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Overall, no. Some days or moments, a little wistful about pre-dc days. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:17 AM Flag
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ITA. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:18 AM Flag
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never i absolutely adore her she is the light of my life my only regret is that i was forced to go back to work when she was 18 months old. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:18 AM Flag
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no. miss certain things, like a full night's sleep, going out with dh, etc. but don't regret having the dcs. i know we'll be able to do most of those things again, anyway. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:19 AM Flag
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Sometimes -- was always independent and now with 1 yr old feels like that's all gone [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:20 AM Flag
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i agree with everyone else - overall there are so many more positives to having db that I didn't fully realize. He brings me so much joy. But I miss being able to do things spontaneously, being able to worry only about myself, downtime. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:23 AM Flag
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same of course. anyone who says otherwise is not being 100% honest with themselves. I ADORE db but life is very, very different and sometimes i miss some of the old stuff. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:14 AM Flag
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Honestly: no. I am thankful for my children beyond reason. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:15 AM Flag
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happy with one, but no more! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:49 AM Flag
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Not for one second and I was never sure that I wanted dcs at all - it was a bit of a leap of faith. now i can't believe i questioned it. undoubtedly the best thing i ever did. (that's not to say i don't miss things about my pre dc life though) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:51 AM Flag
[ - ] What the F.... my 2 and 4 MO is now waking at 5am, I thought we were past this?Anyone have any clue why this is happening. Never having a 2nd one. 1 Reply [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:12 AM Flag
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my 7 month old has started waking at 5 too. Was never a late sleeper but 5 is pushing my limits. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:10 AM Flag
[ - ] We don't live in the US, though we are from there, and have a 10yo dd (our eldest). She is BEGGING to go to boarding school in a year because many of her friends will be going. I'm not totally against boarding school for high school (I went myself and personally hated it but know many who loved it), but I can't see sending an 11yo... any thoughts or BTDT? Thank you! 18 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:01 AM Flag
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Most of the dcs I knew who went to boarding school for middle school were usually sent there due to some difficulty in their home life situation (bad divorce, etc.) OR because they lived someplace that had inadequate schools for them (LD, small rural school, not challenging enoough school, 3rd world country, etc.). I'd never known anyone to CHOOSE boarding school that young. That being said, I was dying to go to boarding school starting in 6th grade, although I did not end up going until 10th. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:07 AM Flag
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op - we live in Europe where many people CHOOSE to send their dcs away at 11... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:09 AM Flag
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OR: I mean the child choosing, not the parent. The parents who choose boarding school, IME, seem to do so for reasons I stated above - although I know that there are far more European boarding schools that accept that age group than there are such schools in the US. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:12 AM Flag
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I guess I was saying that many Europeans choose to send their kids to school because that is what is "done" or they went themselves, not for your reasons above (which i agree with in the US, primarily) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:14 AM Flag
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I assume you must be in the UK, I grew up in continental Europe and it was just not done. Honestly I would never give my dc that choice, 11 yo is way too early to live away from the parents assuming you have a normal happy family. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:27 AM Flag
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actually, we are in Switzerland and it is fairly common here [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:29 AM Flag
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ok, I thought about that after I posted. Switzerland is far from typical European experience though, in many many ways. You can't say Europeans send their kids away that early, rich Swiss people may, and some wealthy British nobility, that's about where it ends. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:33 AM Flag
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I know many people who are not very wealthy or nobility in UK, Switzerland, France and Belgium who send their kids to boarding school - there is more diversity than you may think [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:34 AM Flag
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OR: Yes, I think you're right, especially in the US and Switzerland. And there are probably kids who choose it because that's what everyone they know is doing. I think my parents would have considered doing it when I was that young IF it was close by enough that I could go home or they could see me on the weekends (like under 2 hours) whereas for HS I was 5+ hours away. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:30 AM Flag
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^^^ oops, I mean UK (not US) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:31 AM Flag
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I guess I would potentially consider it under those circumstances (or maybe she could attend as a day student for the first year and switch to boarding if she wanted to the next)... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:32 AM Flag
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^^^ She is a very mature 10yo, speaks 4 languages fluently and doesn't have a problem being away from home (goes on trips without mom and dad frequently)... but, she's still my baby! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:44 AM Flag
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Why does she want to go to boarding school? Are all of her friends going? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:46 AM Flag
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many of her friends (including her 2 closest) will be going. She's at a Swiss school and the only American in her class, and she doesn't understand why her parents don't think boarding school is normal. There are several good continuing schools in our town but many children do go away [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:48 AM Flag
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This is OR from above. Is she an only child? I was very much like this and I just loved the communal living and having friends around all the time thing (I spent 2 summers in boardning school programs at 11 yo and 14 yo) which is why I wanted to go. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:50 AM Flag
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No, we have 3- she's the eldest. Younger sibs are 7 and almost 5 [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:51 AM Flag
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hmm, than it may just be that she wants to do what all her friends are doing. can you let her apply and leave the final decision to next spring? feelings can change... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:56 AM Flag
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That is a good point. I guess we can apply... the other issue is paying for the schools, which are ridiculously expensive (at least the ones her friends plan to go to) [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:58 AM Flag
[ - ] tips to help dd cope with cliques? she seems to be getting more and more sensitive to feeling "left out". she is 7 and i don't have time to set up a bunch of playdates to try to encourage social relationships. 46 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:59 AM Flag
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Really? You "don't have time"? Well at your dd's age these things are done by mothers. It's a shame she dosen't have one. The girls who have friends have mothers who get involved. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:07 AM Flag
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sanctimommy [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:21 AM Flag
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[ Removed by moderator ] [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:26 AM Flag
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np-you are atrocious. If you really perceive that this is as you're describing, why in the world not offer some constructive feedback and advice?? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:30 AM Flag
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ita any mother who says she has no time for her dd is an embarassment! [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:32 AM Flag
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np- santimommy is not nice, but you are way out of line. Do you have anger issues? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:35 AM Flag
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np You are really awful. You can't arrange playdates through your sitter when you're working? You just let your child fend for herself? You're the teacher here and this is parenting 101. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:31 AM Flag
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nnp: How old are your kids? I have 7 year old DD, and she is the one who decides who she wants to play with, as do her friends. They talk about having a playdate and then I e-mail the mom to work out details (or call though I prefer e-mail). At this age you don't schedule playdates with random girls. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:39 AM Flag
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ITA. Mine is just shy of 7 and she also decides. I never force her to play with anyone she doesn't want to play with. And I always get her ok before confirming with another mom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:54 AM Flag
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That's how it works in our house. Our son is six. Though, I'm sure boys and girls are a little different with that. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 02:23 PM Flag
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ridiculous response-some mothers work long hours, take care of elderly parents, have other major things going on in their life, and aren't able to spend time making "mommy friends" and therefore set up playdates between their kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:25 AM Flag
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op: thank you. i wasn't trying to come off as uninvolved. i work and have a 15mo. we have playdates, i just can't do them at the frequency that SAH moms do. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:26 AM Flag
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do you always talk to yourself? I suppose you do since you, like your dc has not friends because you're too "busy" lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:28 AM Flag
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omg, methinks we have a nasty, bitter SAHM here who has way TOO much time on her hands and is positively expiring with jealousy that OP actually has a life. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:31 AM Flag
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np I think op's tone is objectionable. She comes across as cold and dismissive. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:34 AM Flag
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I sympathize with you. That said, there is a nugget of truth in what she said about needing to set up playdates (I totally disagree with her characterization of you though.) My child was being left out, and the only real solution was for me to start setting up playdates. School interaction was not enough because by then, kids are in a routine of friends and dynamics. It took some extra effort on all our parts by arranging one-on-one playdates to change the dynamics and perceptions. It took some time, but I saw it pay off by school year's end. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:31 AM Flag
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ita [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:32 AM Flag
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op does not want to hear this. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:35 AM Flag
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np: Maybe at 4 yo, but at 7 year old kids largely drive who they want to play with. And playdates are drop off so odds are OP could work it out if she wanted to. That assumes there is interest on both sides though. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:37 AM Flag
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If you let them. I really intervened when dc was 7 because teachers at age 5 and 6 said for me to give it time because it was normal for children to take time to make friends in school. At age 7, it seemed that kids had settled into routines and thought my dc wanted to be alone. However, when I started calling other parents, it turned out that other children were not opposed to playing with my child, it was just that they did not think that my dc wanted to play. Sometimes a little grownup intervention can help. Don't give up hope OP. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:41 AM Flag
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I had elderly parents who required time, I worked full time and traveled as well. That is a bullshit response. OP or is it you? should not have had a child if she can't take care of business. period. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:27 AM Flag
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no I am not OP, but I'm curious why given your background, you are unable to provide concrete suggestions instead of just attacking? I hope you don't bring this demenor to your playdates. Good luck. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:31 AM Flag
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demeanor [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:33 AM Flag
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lol [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:33 AM Flag
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lol, this response exactly illustrates, and probably confirms, my impression of you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:35 AM Flag
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you really focused on spelling and punctuation here! Kudos to you. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:36 AM Flag
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Thanks. now how about some suggestions for OP, since I think that is the purpose of this thread? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:40 AM Flag
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My thoughts exactly. A cursing, angry mom is not much better than a naive mom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:33 AM Flag
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Especially if that cursing, angry mom is around a lot. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:34 AM Flag
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ita. Op sounds angry and that might be behind her post. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:37 AM Flag
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ita but I don't think they're referring to op [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:37 AM Flag
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Not referring to OP. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:38 AM Flag
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OMG You are angry! Did you have a bad morning? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:38 AM Flag
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Neglectful mothers are unforgivable. You shouldn't be worrying about my morning. You should be helping your child. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:39 AM Flag
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I am not the OP. I think it is not up to you to judge the OP. She isn't "neglectful", she says that she had a lot to deal with. But I guess, you have to insist on your insulting opinion in order to justify your harsh response. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:45 AM Flag
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I think this is a man writing. No mother could be this narrow minded. Could they? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 06:56 PM Flag
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It's called raising a child and it's required as a good parent. It's pretty basic in fact. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:29 AM Flag
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well I think you summed it up. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:38 AM Flag
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Oh yes, mothers are put on the earth to set up playdates. Shame this girl doesn't have one. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 06:55 PM Flag
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So is she being left out? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:11 AM Flag
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I would set up some play dates, even if it is difficult to manage and would talk to the teacher, maybe she has some suggestions. In my dd's class is a queen bee, who excludes others, the teacher tries to help her and the other students manage this issue... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:40 AM Flag
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This is very simple. You call up other moms and ask for a playdate. Don't be shy just do it. It's like making a doctor's appt.--you don't have to be actual friends with the other mom, you just need to make an appointment for your daughter. I WOHM FT and I do this. I also have her babysitter do it and DH do it. Sometimes DD does it herself at school and then tells the babysitter. You cannot wait by the phone for moms to call you, you have to do the calling, especially if you are a low profile or super busy mom. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:49 AM Flag
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This entire post is reflective of why cliques and nastiness is so prevalent in schools – especially among girls. The “mean girl” myth prevails. The were probably raised by nasty, mean mothers, they get older and raise mean daughters, they come on UB and post negative, ugly responses to moms looking for help – and the cycle is perpetuated. I guess we can take heart that they are usually miserable in their own skin and unhappy with their lot in life. The rude poster here is most likely rude to her kids, her husband, her family. There’s a really good chance that she is ugly outside and in. It’s too bad that we have to share public spaces with her and her kids. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.10.08, 06:54 PM Flag
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Thank you for this post. ITA. to OP -- would like to say that i faced similar probs with my daughter over the years (she's now too old for this kind of garbage), and never had much luck trying to help on the level of the kids or the school. better to keep her talking to YOU about it, and to organize treats, trips, etc. with you for her. and boy did i ever get sick of playdates -- call me worst mother in NY, i don't care. my daughter is now a lovely and happy 17-year old with plenty of friends that i did not find for her, and the mean girls and their mean mothers are a distant memory. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 10:30 AM Flag
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ITA - If OP is already setting up playdates and that isn't helping with the mean girls, setting up more playdates is just trying to buy into that whole dynamic. he's better off following your advice. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 12:34 PM Flag
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People - why waste everyone's time with responses that are nasty and unhelpful, especially those who would offer judgement of others not knowing their full circumstances. Life is too short. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.11.08, 05:51 PM Flag
[ - ] UGH, anyone have a 5 yr. old who hates camp?? this is killing me, I have such memories of being the same way and now I don't know what to do...spoke to counselors etc. how long do I give it b/f I pull him out...we are at the end of week 2... 7 Replies [ Reply | Watch | More
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Preschool/Kids 07.09.08, 08:56 AM Flag
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what camp? any friends in the group or camp they can put him with? Can you observe? Why is he not happy? [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:57 AM Flag
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^^^BTW I had very limited camp experience as a kid and HATED it. So I worry about my kids as well. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 08:58 AM Flag
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Are you sure he is unhappy there. I had a friend that used to come home crying about camp and when her parents spoke to the councelors they said she was having a great time - she was just havign anxiety about beign away from her parents all day. I didn't love camp at 5 yo but loved it a few years later. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:03 AM Flag
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spoke to counselors and director and he is crying on and off all day...i mean not all day but at least 3 times a day... [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:05 AM Flag
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ouch, he is too young. Try again next summer. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:12 AM Flag
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I'd probably try a third week. if he's still crying throughout the day, I'd think about pulling him out and trying something else. [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 09:10 AM Flag
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a little young IMO [ Reply | More
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General Topics 07.09.08, 10:08 AM Flag
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